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Hello everyone, i am in need of some serious help!! To make a long story short my mom has become an alcoholic. All my life she has always been addicted to something 6 months ago it was pills, but the doctors stopped giving them to her so she started drinking and drinking and drinking. My plan is because i have already tried to talk to her, told her how it hurts my feelings, i told her i would no longer bring her to the liqure store as she would go through the big bottles in 2 days, so now she asks other people in her apartments for rides to the liquore store. My Plan: I have sched her a doctors appointment next thursday, friday i am going to stay at her house from fridAy to sunday and detox her. Make sure she doesent drink any liquore so i can talk to her sober, Of coarse i wont cut her off i will make her a couple bloody mary's so she doesent go through crazy withdraw. I am then going to clean her house because its disgusting. ANy other suggestions, or feedback?
Detoxing without medical supervision can be dangerous. By taking responsiblity for detoxing her yourself, you may be putting her at risk. And, you may be jeopardizing your own sanity by watching her detox which might be scary and overwhelming. Before you proceed, consider what might be other alternatives that may carry less risk to her and yourself. I encourage you to visit an Alanon meeting where you will get Experience, Strength, and Hope--Alcholhism is a tough row to how, we all need support. BlueCloud
Arie, I'm glad you have found us here. There is much support and wisdom on these boards. I hope you can also find a good face-to-face meeting. They say to try six because they're all different.
In Al-Anon there is a thing called the three C's: You didn't Cause it, you can't Cure it, you can't Control it. If we could stop our loved ones from drinking -- by persuading them, taking away their alcohol, confronting them, turning them in, watching their every move, or a dozen other ways -- we would have. There would be hardly any alcoholics in the world. I imagine all possible ways have been tried by people here and in the world generally. But the sad truth is that addicts won't stop until they decide to, on their own time, for their own reasons. It may take years. It may never happen. It may happen tomorrow. But it will be on their time line, not ours.
But there is something we can do. Being around alcoholism sucks us into the insanity too. We usually don't even realize how badly we've been affected. We can start our own recovery. When we change, the whole dynamic changes, and miracles happen.
Read lots of threads on these boards, find a meeting, get the literature and read it, attend the online meetings here -- any or all will help things change. Sending you every blessing.
I SO hear in your post how much you love your mom and want her to be sober..
I say the next thing with the UTMOST regard for your love for her.
It's not your place to fix her... and trying to detox her is medically dangerous, as the other post said. Many As have seizures and other complications through detox...and it should be done under the care of medical professionals.
You cannot control this disease...and you cannot cure her...it's so frustrating...but its true.
What I would recommend is an ALANON meeting ASAP. there are also good books including "getting them sober" by Toby Rice Drews.
This is scary...watching someone we love descend into this disease. There are things in alanon that will help to guide you on this difficult path.
I have a suggestion. Go to an Al-Anon meeting and start working that program for yourself. thats is the best thing you can do for your mother and yourself.
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Hi Arie.... really glad you found us and are reaching out....
I agree with the others.... trying to detox your mother on your own, and control/manage her intake of alcohol is not a thing to be taken lightly - I would most definitely leave that in the capable hands of health professionals and/or addictions-trained specialists....
As for the other - choosing recovery for YOU is the absolutely best thing you can do for you, and ultimately for your Mom....
Hope you keep coming back
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I think this may be a little ambitious. If your mother is indeed addicted she would need to go to a facility to detox.
Of course you want her to stop. Dont' we all. Unfortunately the nature of alcoholism is that they cant' stop.
I am glad you are here and reaching out. You can get help at al anon. One is to stop trying to control your mother the other is to start taking care of you. The stress you are under is tremendous. You have to take time out to take care of you and take the focus off your mother.
