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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I'm scared
Post Info TOPIC: I'm scared
Very Very Tired


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I'm scared
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AH is in the hospital tonight. Could be pancreas, could be liver... they are running tests. He hasn't been living at the house for the last month and he has been getting increasingly more physically ill.

He called me tonight to let me know he is in the hospital. He has been vomiting daily and not eating. He said he informed them of his drinking. I made sure to ask him if he knew this means he would begin to detox if he isn't drinking alcohol and the doctors/nurses need to know that. He said he did and that they have been informed. I don't know if that is an honest answer or not.

For the sake of serenity in our home, I have chosen to wait until tomorrow morning to go see him. The kids were already in their pajamas when he called. He said he doesn't want the kids to see him like this. 

After I hung up, I called his sister, his mom and my sponsor (in that order). I am so grateful to have a program where I can call my sponsor at night and she will listen when I need just to admit that I am terrified and cry a few tears.

I could lose him to the disease. I know I am powerless. I have no control over the outcome. Whether I am at the hospital with him or quietly at home taking care of the kids, I can't control what happens to him. I can only control my reaction and make sensible choices for myself and my children.

I'm scared. Really scared. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Any ESH with what it is like to have a alcoholic in the hopsital would be really appreciated.



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Oksie


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The liver is an amazing organ. Give it a rest and it can bounce back.
He is in the best place for him right now, he is getting the care he needs, and maybe the jolt of reality too.
This could be a very positive thing?????

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hotrod


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Hi VVVT

Your hubby ia in  safe place and he is been cared for.  Be gentle with yourself,, rest, make those calls and pray.

one moment at  a Time you can walk through this

In my prayers.  



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

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glad lee


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You say you are scared, and I know I absolutely would be too. But your actions seem so full of grace....

As I read your post, what comes to my mind is, "In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength."

It is obvious, your Higher power is with you, because YOU keep turning to Him. I have my inspiration for the day, THANK YOU!

And will have you in my prayers today ((hugs))



-- Edited by glad lee on Friday 30th of March 2012 06:36:45 AM

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Highlyfavored


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Sending a prayer of love and support in this difficult time for you and your family, we ask and pray 

Highlyfavored!



-- Edited by canadianguy on Friday 30th of March 2012 01:43:04 PM

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rehprof


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Well, that is just awful. Scary, dark times.

Know that your cyber friends are with you in spirit...and sending you strength.

Easy does it.....



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Pushka


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Hugs,

Thinking of you and your family. Take care of you, first thing first.

Hugs P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
pinkchip


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Mine cursed me out and blamed me for putting him in the hospital. When he sobered up he cried and was sad and then argued with doctors and did everything to get out. He promised not to drink after getting out and that lasted less than 1 week. That's just my experience.

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pinkchip


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Though I do want to say I'm sorry you are going through this and I pray for your husband's health and recovery.

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danni


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Sending you so much support and courage and prayers.

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Very Very Tired


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Thank you everyone for your support. AH is going through a medical detox. He is in good hands at the hospital. The denial is deep and no amount of medical treatments can change that.

If you have never watched a person detox, all I can say is that it is... I don't even think I have a word for it. The best thing I can say is that I am so grateful for my program because I can detach, hand him his disease, love him and take care of myself. I could never have done that without my program.

Words I never thought I would hear myself say to a medical professional: "This is our first detox. Can you tell me what to expect?"

The video John posted on here a few weeks or months ago that showed his significant other in the hospital has been my source of strength. What I saw on that video is what I am witnessing in person. It ain't pretty. This is an ugly disease.






-- Edited by Very Very Tired on Friday 30th of March 2012 04:13:56 PM

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Pushka


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Hugs, so glad u are both doing ok. Sending love and support! Thanks for the update!!!

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
GeneralLee


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I sincerely hope all is well. DTs are dangerous but while he's there they can treat them.

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WornOutMrsFixIt


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I am right there with you. My husband was just released from the hospital yesterday. We went through this for the first time in July of last year. It is so hard to watch someone you love suffering. In one way, it is a blessing that they don't have much memory of what  happens. Too bad we never forget. 

This second time was much worse than the first time. A big part of my being able to keep it together and detach myself, while still being there for him and my family, were the things that I have learned here and the support that I know I have. My family and friends are great but my online buddies here "get it" in a way that not everyone can.

 

 



-- Edited by WornOutMrsFixIt on Saturday 31st of March 2012 12:59:10 PM

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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G Llewellyn
orchidlover


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I dont think the fact someone with liver disease is an alcoholic will be lost on the doctors. After all they just need to run a liver panel to do that.

I dealt with the now ex A who had serious health issues, some of them related to his alcoholism.  He pulled the strings very very well. I resisted well. One time he claimed to have had a heart attack and wanted me to drop everything.  I didn't.  I stood my ground but was sympathetic.  Years later I can tell you he didn't have the same empathy for me when I was ill. In fact he found it very annoying and took it all so personally.

For some alcoholics health issues are the thing that forces them into sobriety for some others they aren't.  I hope for you it will be the catalyst.

Maresie.



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orchid lover
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