Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I recently posted on Attitude and how I perceived it so vague I couldn't even see the word clear. It was basically to me a negative feeling I was casting through the air. It Felt like a Major Defect, and who knows for me, maybe it is. I began to view it as what am I telling my mind. Am I constantly putting i...

AngieK · AngieK

I'm uncomfortable with this. My fella tried to get help, but they said they couldn't help because it wasn't daily. It's been a year, or so I think, but the results are no different- no keys, no wallet, a pocket full of receipts, at least this time no car which means someone dropped him off. Hours of worry,...

Bettina · Bettina

Everything passes. Both soaring joy and crushing sorrows fade away like a dream. However, the knowledge of having lived one's life to the fullest never disappears!

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

assuming others have also had this experience ? needing ' emotional ' support. This weekend we have family in town that are very successful financial and status wise. They own a firm and are beautiful people and yet I see through the busy of making things look good. On the surface, everything looks...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

My ah sober 7 months has been a little better to deal with. With him not here in the home I'm able to function and think on my own. My emotions still are up and down but I seem to catch it fast enought to control them.. The lack of al Alon meetings I have not been attending do to child care I still go up in my room an...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I have a dear friend who I don't get to see as often as I like. She and I met today, and she told me she learned a coping technique at her AlAnon meeting which I thought sounded like one I can try. (Disclaimer: I didn't attend the F2F meeting, so might not have the technique down pat) She said: when you are g...

John · John

Hello Everyone, I am scared. I doubt most will understand the depths of despair i am in and feeling. I have never been a big man. The most i have ever weighed was 142 lbs at 5"11'. I have worn a size 32 pant in the waist since my early 20's. Now, i am 54 and in the last 2 years i lost 24 lbs, 4 pant sizes for an a...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Why fear it now. Trust God...clean house...help others. My mind was trying to give me cause to fear and panic while I was working yesterday doing labor in my yard. I got to revisit an event which happened after and as a result of being in a head-on accident. When the EMTs came to take me out of the wreck...

Pushka · Pushka

Since I have been living at the court house recently it's been very entertaining to say the least. I love to people watch and then it's funny as you see the same people as far as law enforcement and people who work there, it's an interesting system. It's not always fair and it's not always just, .. at lea...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So day by day it gets easier to recover from anything! Today it is my vision; tomorrow it will be something else but I am ready to face whatever comes my way! For all who don't know this has been quite of road of recovery for me. I have been in & out of this program for many years. I am just now learning how t...

rehprof · rehprof

so...today the exA stopped by to put up a heavy bag for my 16yo son. After the job was done he asked my son to go out in the driveway...I heard a pop-pop -- he was showing my son his that his silencer is now made to fit on his .22. There is always this subtle message of violence...and I hate it. He knows I hate gun...

Pushka · Pushka

Things are moving along at expedited speeds and that is a good thing. There is another pre-trial date in about 4 weeks which means I will meet with STBAX, his atty and mine in the next two weeks. At least I think so .. I am grateful that there is an end date and all of a sudden things got REALLY serious. T...

abbyalana · abbyalana

I am not sure what to do. My exah has supervised visitation which is also what our 12 yo daughter wants/is comfortable with. BUT he continues to break boundaries and I am not sure how far to push back. Last night he gt a new cell number & contacted her drunk & told her to keep it a secret from me. She s...

IrishMama6 · IrishMama6

This is my first post. I am scared. My Therapist said 'Go to an Al-Anon meeting. It will help." I'm afraid to go. I'm afraid AH and I will fight. He's a weekend binge drinker. He's done this his whole life. He was raised around it. When you're not working you drink. He doesn't do it during t...

Jozie · Jozie

In an Unbalanced World... How is it that in this Disease it seems the only time i Feel my Feet Safely planted on the ground is when i am surrounded by Chaos? I don't get it... When things pop Up and I Have No Time to 'Over Think it' It seems it rolls smoother, but when i take the time to Respond instead of React,...

newgirl17 · newgirl17

My husband has been sober for a few years he had been going to meetings faithfully. I just found out that he has been lying about going to meetings. He has been going to "meetings" and working steps with newcomers. I confronted my husband about it and asked him where he had been. At first he sai...

4st7lb · 4st7lb

I feel like the 12 step and AA which is touted as the only way to stop drugs and drinking when you are bad off is too heavily centered around the Christian Faith. for someone like me who doesn't believe in any religion whatsoever there is no difference between us and animals and no paranormal outsider is g...

Lyne · Lyne

I've tried to explain some issues to my A as clearly and detailed as possible, and without hostility. She doesn't get it, doesn't want to get it, got it and blocked it right out, or speaks some other language than myself. I honestly think I can communicate better with my 2 yr old granddaughter! A's ar...

ms1414 · ms1414

I will be married to my AH for 27 years next month. We have been together since the age of 13 and were married and had two boys by the age of 21. He became an alcoholic going on 6 years now, when his brother died of a sudden heart attack, who also was an alcoholic. We did the counseling three years ago, he gave t...

samc · samc

Hi everyone! I'm still pretty new here, read a lot and post little - which is unlike my RL; I talk a LOT. :) I thought I'd share a little about some progress I have made. As a child, one of my survival mechanisms was escapism. I had an active imagination, and loved to spend hours playing alone, making up frie...

kadyyo · kadyyo

Honestly, I don't even know where to being. Unfortunately this will be longwinded. Alcohol is baffling, cunning, powerful and so is my love for my alcoholic boyfriend, but is love sometimes not enough? I have been dating my alcoholic boyfriend for 3 years this July. Over these few years I have been th...

Linda77 · Linda77

I don't want to go home. My son lost another job last week. He is 35 years old and his alcoholism is getting worse. He knows this, and yesterday he told a neighbor he would go to an AA meeting this Thursday. But, since he lost this job last week, each day he's gets meaner. I've been divorced since 1989 and alw...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My husband is an alcoholic. He has been arrested for DUI, and many many more times, drank and drove but wasn't caught. Throughout our lives together, he was usually drunk when I needed him (so he was unavailable). He never got help, or went to AA, but one day our adult son went to his workplace and foun...

kris1109 · kris1109

I am new to this message board. Reading some of the posts here is the first time I haven't felt like I am alone in so long. Not that I wish this chaos on any of you, but it sure does help to know that there are people who get it. I have been dealing with my A for 13 years to varying degrees. We have a child togeth...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

for years I was told (anytime I expressed my own opinion, which at times was what others didn't want to hear, I was told I had an attitude. This grew so big through the years that I felt attitude was based on feelings. all I knew is I thought there was something truly wrong with me, such as, I was difficul...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

This is an unspoken boundary, mainly because it's against the law for AH to do what he did anyway. I went away for the weekend and AH found my spare key and drove my car this past weekend. I always write down the mileage when I go away, it's been a habit of mine for a year now and yes, there have been other tim...

DebLisa55 · DebLisa55

I have not posted here in a long time. I have no clue what to do. My life has not changed - it has gotten worse. My husband is still the drinking, sneaky, lying, SOB he was before. He is an addict, he needs help, he cannot do this on his own. Until he finds that illusive help, he will continue to destroy hi...

Bettina · Bettina

"Never be defeated by the visible" -- Edited by Bettina on Tuesday 11th of June 2013 07:20:57 PM

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I was so down when I posted this morning. Little sleep, a headache from crying, swollen eyes and a dread of the day to come. In the past my AH's detoxes and been extremely hard. Day 1 is seizures and 2 & 3 get progressively worse with hallucenations and violent outbursts causing restraints to have to...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

As I work my program and find out more about myself I see a really bad side of me. I hurt this morning and having a hard time forgiving myself. Sometimes it seems I will never get to a point to be able to make amends to anyone in my life. Just got to say it's hard to think about all my wrongs and problems and try...

Bettina · Bettina

I found out yesterday that my X A is in ICU and in critical condition. He had been missing in action for a few weeks. He has nobody, just a few celeb friends in AA he hangs with, but nobody substantial. He has been living in his car for almost 2 years and somebody found him unresponsive and took him to the E.R....

axtella · axtella

I'm new here but not new to living with an AH mixed with pot. I'm broken this week as AH added his old drug of choice (Coke) back in the mix, stayed out all night and blew alot of money. Drugs, booze and strippers. We have been together for 11 years and this is the first time he has used COKE since we have been to...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

The AH was released from the hospital today on his 3rd day of detox because he refused treatment. The old danger to himself and others got me nowhere. I talked to the psych ward and got nowhere. I refused to pick him up and so did our sons. He said he had no clothes to wear home and I again refused to bring any s...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

OK.....there's the deal I was told last week I was obsessing about my weight and dieting and I have to get over it. I didn't think I was but OK. Now I'm upset and obsessing about the person that told me I was obsessing and can't seem to stop. I understood what she said about making a lifestyle change or...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am going to take a go on this but it might not be easy. One eye is out of the way making room for the other. I am using reading glasses for the first time on this computer. I can barely see on my tablet so I am going to keep trying to give it a go on here. I miss all of you as I have been recovering from my surgery for 6...

Ms S · Ms S

Last week I posted here about wanting things to change. I took some action and found a room to rent. I have been mulling this over. I have told my A b/f as he asked me this evening if I was planning to leave, and if so, could I just tell him. So I did. He hadn't drunk since last weekends big rant. And of cour...

Sheila F · Sheila F

I have been a member for more than 20 yeas. I have a 37 year old high functioning disabled son who also has a dealing conviction. He has not been able to find a job once he was laid off two years ago. He moved back home 9 months ago. We live in the country with no public transportation. He is becoming desp...

someonestolemyalias · someonestolemyalias

I am not sure angry is the proper term but I can't think of the word I am looking for. I have lurked on this message board for a while but this is my first time posting. My sister is an alcoholic. She hit her rock bottom Jan 2012. Her daughter (five at the time, seven now) was taken away from her and I permanent l...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Next week I will be away for 2 nights for work. The last time I traveled, AH went crazy, drinking, drugging, etc. That was 6 mos ago, 2 detoxes, and almost 60 AA meetings for him since. I have to remember that I cant control cure or cause it. He will do what he is going to do. I am justfeeling anxious about it to...

Gaby · Gaby

I tried reaching out to my son that is in recovery but I chosed to speak with his pastor instead of my son. I feel that even hearing his voice will hurt me and bring up emotions that I can't handle right now. Is it bad for me to be angry hurt fustrated towards him still for all that he has done to me and my family e...

blondie99 · blondie99

Hello dear MIP family - I hope you all are having a blessed day! Well, today's the first of my summerlong three-day weekends. It was so nice to get up without the alarm this morning, only waking when the morning sun shined on my face. My little old man dog and I are enjoying a cool morning - all the doors and w...

Hopeful925 · Hopeful925

My ABf's parents just called me and asked me to appear in court tomorrow to "testify" to the facts of their son's drinking since I'm the one who is closest to him. They want to committ him as he has been going through detoxes on the average of every 6 weeks for the past 18 mos and need supportive...

grace67 · grace67

After 16+ years of lies my husband of 24 years is now swearing he has stopped the 3-4 liters a week of gin cold turkey....hasn't had any (he says) for almost a month, but because of all the daily lying all these years I can't believe him that he did really did it all alone and with showing not one sign of wit...

sookie · sookie

This just made me laugh out loud....it is my daily horoscope for the day (Scorpio). But when you are living/dealing with an A, this is your EVERY DAY reality!! To see it spelled out in black and white makes me realize how we really have to work the program

"You want to please everyone today, yet...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Wow 30 days sure went by fast for me . It was a seperation trial to see if I can get better and work on myself and not have him watching and asking question. I was wondering why he was counting down the days?! . Out if the days he been completely away from me with no contact was only 2 days.. He found every reason...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok .. today is court and it's not going to be pretty to say the least. I had hoped we could get divorced and be done today, however after this weekend I don't see that happening. So today we will set a court date and my atty wants us all to sit down before court and go over everything. I'm sure his atty is go...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. It's said that we are exactly where we are meant to be. I am having a hard time accepting that right now. I am having a difficult time seeing where my HP is taking me. I am just not seeing it. I don't see a light at the end of this tunnel. As...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

EGO - Edging God Out ~ Courage is fear that has said its prayers. ~ Progress not Perfection. FEAR ~ Future Events Aren't Real ~ or False Evidence Appearing Real YANA ~ You Are Not Alone HELP ~ Help/Heal Ourselves/Others Purge Emptiness MYOB ~ Mind My Own Business FAITH ~ Finding Answers In The Hear...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

It's 4:40am and I have just woken up to a life that feels like a nightmare that I can't escape from. Have you ever been so exhausted that you can't stay awake any longer but you don't want to go to sleep because you dread that sickening feeling of the reality of what is happening making you feel like you're...

KLotus · KLotus

As of yesterday, I have completely moved out of my marital home. I can hardly believe that I did it! I was working full-time, a full-time mom, in school, trying to take care of myself and having to pack up and move. I got the feeling that he never believed I would actually go (maybe I wasn't sure I would,...

PP · PP

Lately I have been thinking about resistances to attending al anon meetings and the thoughts took me to the beginning of my recovery. I dipped my toe into an al anon meeting about 23 years ago and did not go back for 14 years. I had a range of reasons, too, like "I am fine, it is my husband that has the...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I was in chat room last night and it was after the MIP meeting was over. People were cross talking, but one person was expressing frustration and dismay about her situation with a A, gave some descriptions, and seemed to be asking what others thought she should do. Multiple people (myself included) g...

sportychick · sportychick

I shared during the week about an incident involving facebook and my mum wanting to know why I had blocked her. I am so grateful for the responses I received and was able to detach from her unhealthiness. However, this weekend I have gone away with my 2 and a half year old son and parents and what should be...

Gaby · Gaby

My son in recovery .. It's been 30 days and he is able to contact me but he has not. Why am I hurting ?? I have do much I have had to deal with while he is I there. I hurt the most because my sons daughters mom will not allow me to see my grand baby and that just kills me. She knows my son is getting help do he won't lose...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm slipping. I gave my son money tonight and I am pretty sure he will drink it. I can justify it. He was verbally abusive, threatening and emotionally blackmailing. I wanted to go to my meeting and I gave him money so I could have peace in my home and I could get to my meeting. My progress fell flat for a whil...

oldergal · oldergal

No problems, situaltions to solve for anyone anymore....! What tools, steps, ideas in Al-Anon can help with loneliness....? Oldergal

Lyne · Lyne

Some days I really cope well and I feel strong. Other days not so much. I'm having alot of guilt about my son who wishes I would have already left my spouse. When he is mad or disappointed with me, I just don't feel right. It hurts so much. Just a tad codependent, yes? But it has to be my decision if I am s...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My kids went to their dads and I am going ape. I always get a bit squirrely each time they leave for a long period of time after having them basically the whole school year on my own. Now I am overthinking and I keep being wishy washy about who I am going to go camping with between my friends and now both partie...

1976love · 1976love

Today my best friend asked if I wanted to go to her house and meet up with an friend. I thought "Wow, that would be really cool!" So I told my AH I was going and would bring the kids. He asked if I could drive him to the VFW and I said no, then he asked if I could drive him to his brothers house and I sa...

Tracy · Tracy

hi all, havent posted for a bit, but still very active al anon member. Love this site wanted to pop in, it has saved my sanity so many times and helped me to clarify my thoughts and feeliings. I am currently starting step 9 aand have just made amends to Hp, I am now starting my amends to myself WOW finding th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Self defeating Attitudes (Preview) I recently posted on Attitude and how I perceived it so vague I couldn't even see the word clear. It was basically to me a negative feeling I was casting through the air. It Felt like a Major Defect, and who knows for me, maybe it is. I began to view it as what am I telling my mind. Am I constantly putting i...	MeTwo2	6	622	Jun 16, 2013 by MeTwo2
	need to connect (Preview) I'm uncomfortable with this. My fella tried to get help, but they said they couldn't help because it wasn't daily. It's been a year, or so I think, but the results are no different- no keys, no wallet, a pocket full of receipts, at least this time no car which means someone dropped him off. Hours of worry,...	AngieK	5	375	Jun 16, 2013 by grateful2be
	INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHTS (Preview) Everything passes. Both soaring joy and crushing sorrows fade away like a dream. However, the knowledge of having lived one's life to the fullest never disappears!	Bettina	7	381	Jun 15, 2013 by slogan_jim
	help .. status's (Preview) assuming others have also had this experience ? needing ' emotional ' support. This weekend we have family in town that are very successful financial and status wise. They own a firm and are beautiful people and yet I see through the busy of making things look good. On the surface, everything looks...	MeTwo2	3	410	Jun 15, 2013 by MeTwo2
	How to tell my AH I'm not ready yet (Preview) My ah sober 7 months has been a little better to deal with. With him not here in the home I'm able to function and think on my own. My emotions still are up and down but I seem to catch it fast enought to control them.. The lack of al Alon meetings I have not been attending do to child care I still go up in my room an...	Ms co-dependent	6	837	Jun 15, 2013 by grateful2be
	AlAnon technique for coping (Preview) I have a dear friend who I don't get to see as often as I like. She and I met today, and she told me she learned a coping technique at her AlAnon meeting which I thought sounded like one I can try. (Disclaimer: I didn't attend the F2F meeting, so might not have the technique down pat) She said: when you are g...	lgnutah	4	463	Jun 15, 2013 by el-cee
	I am such a mess! (Preview) Hello Everyone, I am scared. I doubt most will understand the depths of despair i am in and feeling. I have never been a big man. The most i have ever weighed was 142 lbs at 5"11'. I have worn a size 32 pant in the waist since my early 20's. Now, i am 54 and in the last 2 years i lost 24 lbs, 4 pant sizes for an a...	John	35	2443	Jun 14, 2013 by Pushka
	If it isn't happening now... (Preview) Why fear it now. Trust God...clean house...help others. My mind was trying to give me cause to fear and panic while I was working yesterday doing labor in my yard. I got to revisit an event which happened after and as a result of being in a head-on accident. When the EMTs came to take me out of the wreck...	Jerry F	9	524	Jun 14, 2013 by Jozie
	Funny New Court Story - The God of my understanding (Preview) Since I have been living at the court house recently it's been very entertaining to say the least. I love to people watch and then it's funny as you see the same people as far as law enforcement and people who work there, it's an interesting system. It's not always fair and it's not always just, .. at lea...	Pushka	5	590	Jun 14, 2013 by Jackie11
	day by day it gets easier(so I think I will hang in) (Preview) So day by day it gets easier to recover from anything! Today it is my vision; tomorrow it will be something else but I am ready to face whatever comes my way! For all who don't know this has been quite of road of recovery for me. I have been in & out of this program for many years. I am just now learning how t...	Hoot Nanny	3	526	Jun 14, 2013 by hotrod
	What to do? (Preview) so...today the exA stopped by to put up a heavy bag for my 16yo son. After the job was done he asked my son to go out in the driveway...I heard a pop-pop -- he was showing my son his that his silencer is now made to fit on his .22. There is always this subtle message of violence...and I hate it. He knows I hate gun...	rehprof	10	592	Jun 14, 2013 by lgnutah
	Court Update .. (Preview) Things are moving along at expedited speeds and that is a good thing. There is another pre-trial date in about 4 weeks which means I will meet with STBAX, his atty and mine in the next two weeks. At least I think so .. I am grateful that there is an end date and all of a sudden things got REALLY serious. T...	Pushka	8	491	Jun 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	Supervised visitation; ignoring boundaries (Preview) I am not sure what to do. My exah has supervised visitation which is also what our 12 yo daughter wants/is comfortable with. BUT he continues to break boundaries and I am not sure how far to push back. Last night he gt a new cell number & contacted her drunk & told her to keep it a secret from me. She s...	abbyalana	5	490	Jun 14, 2013 by Pushka
	Scared... (Preview) This is my first post. I am scared. My Therapist said 'Go to an Al-Anon meeting. It will help." I'm afraid to go. I'm afraid AH and I will fight. He's a weekend binge drinker. He's done this his whole life. He was raised around it. When you're not working you drink. He doesn't do it during t...	IrishMama6	7	437	Jun 14, 2013 by grateful2be
	Tryin to Find Balance.... (Preview) In an Unbalanced World... How is it that in this Disease it seems the only time i Feel my Feet Safely planted on the ground is when i am surrounded by Chaos? I don't get it... When things pop Up and I Have No Time to 'Over Think it' It seems it rolls smoother, but when i take the time to Respond instead of React,...	Jozie	3	501	Jun 14, 2013 by Bettina
	I don't know what to do.... (Preview) My husband has been sober for a few years he had been going to meetings faithfully. I just found out that he has been lying about going to meetings. He has been going to "meetings" and working steps with newcomers. I confronted my husband about it and asked him where he had been. At first he sai...	newgirl17	10	872	Jun 13, 2013 by Bettina
	Help for atheists (Preview) I feel like the 12 step and AA which is touted as the only way to stop drugs and drinking when you are bad off is too heavily centered around the Christian Faith. for someone like me who doesn't believe in any religion whatsoever there is no difference between us and animals and no paranormal outsider is g...	4st7lb	14	676	Jun 13, 2013 by likemyheart
	Do A's understand English? (Preview) I've tried to explain some issues to my A as clearly and detailed as possible, and without hostility. She doesn't get it, doesn't want to get it, got it and blocked it right out, or speaks some other language than myself. I honestly think I can communicate better with my 2 yr old granddaughter! A's ar...	Lyne	12	556	Jun 13, 2013 by flinn66
	What to do? (Preview) I will be married to my AH for 27 years next month. We have been together since the age of 13 and were married and had two boys by the age of 21. He became an alcoholic going on 6 years now, when his brother died of a sudden heart attack, who also was an alcoholic. We did the counseling three years ago, he gave t...	ms1414	3	472	Jun 13, 2013 by Jerry F
	Fantasy Lives (Preview) Hi everyone! I'm still pretty new here, read a lot and post little - which is unlike my RL; I talk a LOT. :) I thought I'd share a little about some progress I have made. As a child, one of my survival mechanisms was escapism. I had an active imagination, and loved to spend hours playing alone, making up frie...	samc	6	563	Jun 13, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I cheated on my alcoholic boyfriend.. (Preview) Honestly, I don't even know where to being. Unfortunately this will be longwinded. Alcohol is baffling, cunning, powerful and so is my love for my alcoholic boyfriend, but is love sometimes not enough? I have been dating my alcoholic boyfriend for 3 years this July. Over these few years I have been th...	kadyyo	4	1555	Jun 13, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I don't want to go home (Preview) I don't want to go home. My son lost another job last week. He is 35 years old and his alcoholism is getting worse. He knows this, and yesterday he told a neighbor he would go to an AA meeting this Thursday. But, since he lost this job last week, each day he's gets meaner. I've been divorced since 1989 and alw...	Linda77	10	565	Jun 13, 2013 by oldergal
	Husband sober for several years, got drunk today (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic. He has been arrested for DUI, and many many more times, drank and drove but wasn't caught. Throughout our lives together, he was usually drunk when I needed him (so he was unavailable). He never got help, or went to AA, but one day our adult son went to his workplace and foun...	lgnutah	8	624	Jun 13, 2013 by hotrod
	So conflicted (Preview) I am new to this message board. Reading some of the posts here is the first time I haven't felt like I am alone in so long. Not that I wish this chaos on any of you, but it sure does help to know that there are people who get it. I have been dealing with my A for 13 years to varying degrees. We have a child togeth...	kris1109	6	514	Jun 13, 2013 by Jen61
	Attitude (Preview) for years I was told (anytime I expressed my own opinion, which at times was what others didn't want to hear, I was told I had an attitude. This grew so big through the years that I felt attitude was based on feelings. all I knew is I thought there was something truly wrong with me, such as, I was difficul...	MeTwo2	5	512	Jun 12, 2013 by MeTwo2
	Confronting when a boundary is crossed (Preview) This is an unspoken boundary, mainly because it's against the law for AH to do what he did anyway. I went away for the weekend and AH found my spare key and drove my car this past weekend. I always write down the mileage when I go away, it's been a habit of mine for a year now and yes, there have been other tim...	ilovedogs	11	788	Jun 12, 2013 by cwya
	nowhere to turn (Preview) I have not posted here in a long time. I have no clue what to do. My life has not changed - it has gotten worse. My husband is still the drinking, sneaky, lying, SOB he was before. He is an addict, he needs help, he cannot do this on his own. Until he finds that illusive help, he will continue to destroy hi...	DebLisa55	9	495	Jun 12, 2013 by grateful2be
	Thought for the Day!! (Preview) "Never be defeated by the visible" -- Edited by Bettina on Tuesday 11th of June 2013 07:20:57 PM	Bettina	3	310	Jun 12, 2013 by PP
	"Nightmare Update" (Preview) I was so down when I posted this morning. Little sleep, a headache from crying, swollen eyes and a dread of the day to come. In the past my AH's detoxes and been extremely hard. Day 1 is seizures and 2 & 3 get progressively worse with hallucenations and violent outbursts causing restraints to have to...	wornoutmrsfixit	6	459	Jun 12, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	I seem to be getting worse (Preview) As I work my program and find out more about myself I see a really bad side of me. I hurt this morning and having a hard time forgiving myself. Sometimes it seems I will never get to a point to be able to make amends to anyone in my life. Just got to say it's hard to think about all my wrongs and problems and try...	Cathyinaz	13	629	Jun 12, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Emotions...X A close to death....again (Preview) I found out yesterday that my X A is in ICU and in critical condition. He had been missing in action for a few weeks. He has nobody, just a few celeb friends in AA he hangs with, but nobody substantial. He has been living in his car for almost 2 years and somebody found him unresponsive and took him to the E.R....	Bettina	10	483	Jun 11, 2013 by Bettina
	New and confused (Preview) I'm new here but not new to living with an AH mixed with pot. I'm broken this week as AH added his old drug of choice (Coke) back in the mix, stayed out all night and blew alot of money. Drugs, booze and strippers. We have been together for 11 years and this is the first time he has used COKE since we have been to...	axtella	5	677	Jun 12, 2013 by axtella
	3 Days and Hallelujah, He's Cured! (Preview) The AH was released from the hospital today on his 3rd day of detox because he refused treatment. The old danger to himself and others got me nowhere. I talked to the psych ward and got nowhere. I refused to pick him up and so did our sons. He said he had no clothes to wear home and I again refused to bring any s...	wornoutmrsfixit	8	514	Jun 11, 2013 by Bettina
	Obsessing about Obsessing (Preview) OK.....there's the deal I was told last week I was obsessing about my weight and dieting and I have to get over it. I didn't think I was but OK. Now I'm upset and obsessing about the person that told me I was obsessing and can't seem to stop. I understood what she said about making a lifestyle change or...	Cathyinaz	6	2757	Jun 11, 2013 by MeTwo2
	this may not be easy(corrective surgery) (Preview) I am going to take a go on this but it might not be easy. One eye is out of the way making room for the other. I am using reading glasses for the first time on this computer. I can barely see on my tablet so I am going to keep trying to give it a go on here. I miss all of you as I have been recovering from my surgery for 6...	Hoot Nanny	4	460	Jun 11, 2013 by cwya
	I found a room to rent (Preview) Last week I posted here about wanting things to change. I took some action and found a room to rent. I have been mulling this over. I have told my A b/f as he asked me this evening if I was planning to leave, and if so, could I just tell him. So I did. He hadn't drunk since last weekends big rant. And of cour...	Ms S	4	291	Jun 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	problems with family (Preview) I have been a member for more than 20 yeas. I have a 37 year old high functioning disabled son who also has a dealing conviction. He has not been able to find a job once he was laid off two years ago. He moved back home 9 months ago. We live in the country with no public transportation. He is becoming desp...	Sheila F	3	403	Jun 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	I'm angry. (Preview) I am not sure angry is the proper term but I can't think of the word I am looking for. I have lurked on this message board for a while but this is my first time posting. My sister is an alcoholic. She hit her rock bottom Jan 2012. Her daughter (five at the time, seven now) was taken away from her and I permanent l...	someonestolemyalias	5	300	Jun 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	work travel, feeling anxious (Preview) Next week I will be away for 2 nights for work. The last time I traveled, AH went crazy, drinking, drugging, etc. That was 6 mos ago, 2 detoxes, and almost 60 AA meetings for him since. I have to remember that I cant control cure or cause it. He will do what he is going to do. I am justfeeling anxious about it to...	ParisMemories	6	329	Jun 11, 2013 by ParisMemories
	I'm still weak!!! (Preview) I tried reaching out to my son that is in recovery but I chosed to speak with his pastor instead of my son. I feel that even hearing his voice will hurt me and bring up emotions that I can't handle right now. Is it bad for me to be angry hurt fustrated towards him still for all that he has done to me and my family e...	Gaby	7	512	Jun 11, 2013 by Mirandac
	HP expedited my order (Preview) Hello dear MIP family - I hope you all are having a blessed day! Well, today's the first of my summerlong three-day weekends. It was so nice to get up without the alarm this morning, only waking when the morning sun shined on my face. My little old man dog and I are enjoying a cool morning - all the doors and w...	blondie99	11	553	Jun 11, 2013 by JoyfulPraise
	I need your advice! (Preview) My ABf's parents just called me and asked me to appear in court tomorrow to "testify" to the facts of their son's drinking since I'm the one who is closest to him. They want to committ him as he has been going through detoxes on the average of every 6 weeks for the past 18 mos and need supportive...	Hopeful925	6	370	Jun 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	too many lies (Preview) After 16+ years of lies my husband of 24 years is now swearing he has stopped the 3-4 liters a week of gin cold turkey....hasn't had any (he says) for almost a month, but because of all the daily lying all these years I can't believe him that he did really did it all alone and with showing not one sign of wit...	grace67	11	538	Jun 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	Life with an A (Preview) This just made me laugh out loud....it is my daily horoscope for the day (Scorpio). But when you are living/dealing with an A, this is your EVERY DAY reality!! To see it spelled out in black and white makes me realize how we really have to work the program "You want to please everyone today, yet...	sookie	0	373	Jun 10, 2013 by sookie
	News flash my AH moving back in (Preview) Wow 30 days sure went by fast for me . It was a seperation trial to see if I can get better and work on myself and not have him watching and asking question. I was wondering why he was counting down the days?! . Out if the days he been completely away from me with no contact was only 2 days.. He found every reason...	Ms co-dependent	1	329	Jun 11, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Weird weekend and prayers today .. (Preview) Ok .. today is court and it's not going to be pretty to say the least. I had hoped we could get divorced and be done today, however after this weekend I don't see that happening. So today we will set a court date and my atty wants us all to sit down before court and go over everything. I'm sure his atty is go...	Pushka	3	339	Jun 10, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Having a hard time with acceptance (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. It's said that we are exactly where we are meant to be. I am having a hard time accepting that right now. I am having a difficult time seeing where my HP is taking me. I am just not seeing it. I don't see a light at the end of this tunnel. As...	slogan_jim	8	465	Jun 10, 2013 by Bettina
	I needed to read these acronyms today add any if you have some (Preview) EGO - Edging God Out ~ Courage is fear that has said its prayers. ~ Progress not Perfection. FEAR ~ Future Events Aren't Real ~ or False Evidence Appearing Real YANA ~ You Are Not Alone HELP ~ Help/Heal Ourselves/Others Purge Emptiness MYOB ~ Mind My Own Business FAITH ~ Finding Answers In The Hear...	Breakingfree	2	379	Jun 10, 2013 by recoveryhope
	Nightmare Reality (Preview) It's 4:40am and I have just woken up to a life that feels like a nightmare that I can't escape from. Have you ever been so exhausted that you can't stay awake any longer but you don't want to go to sleep because you dread that sickening feeling of the reality of what is happening making you feel like you're...	wornoutmrsfixit	13	629	Jun 10, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Prayers please (Preview) As of yesterday, I have completely moved out of my marital home. I can hardly believe that I did it! I was working full-time, a full-time mom, in school, trying to take care of myself and having to pack up and move. I got the feeling that he never believed I would actually go (maybe I wasn't sure I would,...	KLotus	10	632	Jun 10, 2013 by yanksfan51
	Surrendering to Al Anon Meetings Meant the Gig was Up (Preview) Lately I have been thinking about resistances to attending al anon meetings and the thoughts took me to the beginning of my recovery. I dipped my toe into an al anon meeting about 23 years ago and did not go back for 14 years. I had a range of reasons, too, like "I am fine, it is my husband that has the...	PP	10	388	Jun 10, 2013 by PP
	Some guidance please: rules for chat room? (Preview) I was in chat room last night and it was after the MIP meeting was over. People were cross talking, but one person was expressing frustration and dismay about her situation with a A, gave some descriptions, and seemed to be asking what others thought she should do. Multiple people (myself included) g...	lgnutah	11	541	Jun 10, 2013 by John
	I have tried to keep my side of the street clean with my relationship with my mum and have reached a dead end (Preview) I shared during the week about an incident involving facebook and my mum wanting to know why I had blocked her. I am so grateful for the responses I received and was able to detach from her unhealthiness. However, this weekend I have gone away with my 2 and a half year old son and parents and what should be...	sportychick	4	514	Jun 10, 2013 by Jerry F
	My son in recovery (Preview) My son in recovery .. It's been 30 days and he is able to contact me but he has not. Why am I hurting ?? I have do much I have had to deal with while he is I there. I hurt the most because my sons daughters mom will not allow me to see my grand baby and that just kills me. She knows my son is getting help do he won't lose...	Gaby	5	648	Jun 9, 2013 by debhud
	slip (Preview) I'm slipping. I gave my son money tonight and I am pretty sure he will drink it. I can justify it. He was verbally abusive, threatening and emotionally blackmailing. I wanted to go to my meeting and I gave him money so I could have peace in my home and I could get to my meeting. My progress fell flat for a whil...	el-cee	11	345	Jun 9, 2013 by Path to Serenity
	How Can Al-Anon Program Help With Loneliness (Preview) No problems, situaltions to solve for anyone anymore....! What tools, steps, ideas in Al-Anon can help with loneliness....? Oldergal	oldergal	8	330	Jun 9, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	roller coaster (Preview) Some days I really cope well and I feel strong. Other days not so much. I'm having alot of guilt about my son who wishes I would have already left my spouse. When he is mad or disappointed with me, I just don't feel right. It hurts so much. Just a tad codependent, yes? But it has to be my decision if I am s...	Lyne	6	354	Jun 9, 2013 by Path to Serenity
	I have way over reacted instead of stopped to think and now it created drama (Preview) My kids went to their dads and I am going ape. I always get a bit squirrely each time they leave for a long period of time after having them basically the whole school year on my own. Now I am overthinking and I keep being wishy washy about who I am going to go camping with between my friends and now both partie...	Breakingfree	5	598	Jun 9, 2013 by Pushka
	letting the crisis happen (Preview) Today my best friend asked if I wanted to go to her house and meet up with an friend. I thought "Wow, that would be really cool!" So I told my AH I was going and would bring the kids. He asked if I could drive him to the VFW and I said no, then he asked if I could drive him to his brothers house and I sa...	1976love	2	435	Jun 9, 2013 by pinkchip
	amends to slef (Preview) hi all, havent posted for a bit, but still very active al anon member. Love this site wanted to pop in, it has saved my sanity so many times and helped me to clarify my thoughts and feeliings. I am currently starting step 9 aand have just made amends to Hp, I am now starting my amends to myself WOW finding th...	Tracy	6	770	Jun 9, 2013 by Peggy7
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.