Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kris1109 · kris1109

I am new to this message board. Reading some of the posts here is the first time I haven't felt like I am alone in so long. Not that I wish this chaos on any of you, but it sure does help to know that there are people who get it. I have been dealing with my A for 13 years to varying degrees. We have a child togeth...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

for years I was told (anytime I expressed my own opinion, which at times was what others didn't want to hear, I was told I had an attitude. This grew so big through the years that I felt attitude was based on feelings. all I knew is I thought there was something truly wrong with me, such as, I was difficul...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

This is an unspoken boundary, mainly because it's against the law for AH to do what he did anyway. I went away for the weekend and AH found my spare key and drove my car this past weekend. I always write down the mileage when I go away, it's been a habit of mine for a year now and yes, there have been other tim...

DebLisa55 · DebLisa55

I have not posted here in a long time. I have no clue what to do. My life has not changed - it has gotten worse. My husband is still the drinking, sneaky, lying, SOB he was before. He is an addict, he needs help, he cannot do this on his own. Until he finds that illusive help, he will continue to destroy hi...

Bettina · Bettina

"Never be defeated by the visible" -- Edited by Bettina on Tuesday 11th of June 2013 07:20:57 PM

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

I was so down when I posted this morning. Little sleep, a headache from crying, swollen eyes and a dread of the day to come. In the past my AH's detoxes and been extremely hard. Day 1 is seizures and 2 & 3 get progressively worse with hallucenations and violent outbursts causing restraints to have to...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

As I work my program and find out more about myself I see a really bad side of me. I hurt this morning and having a hard time forgiving myself. Sometimes it seems I will never get to a point to be able to make amends to anyone in my life. Just got to say it's hard to think about all my wrongs and problems and try...

Bettina · Bettina

I found out yesterday that my X A is in ICU and in critical condition. He had been missing in action for a few weeks. He has nobody, just a few celeb friends in AA he hangs with, but nobody substantial. He has been living in his car for almost 2 years and somebody found him unresponsive and took him to the E.R....

axtella · axtella

I'm new here but not new to living with an AH mixed with pot. I'm broken this week as AH added his old drug of choice (Coke) back in the mix, stayed out all night and blew alot of money. Drugs, booze and strippers. We have been together for 11 years and this is the first time he has used COKE since we have been to...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

The AH was released from the hospital today on his 3rd day of detox because he refused treatment. The old danger to himself and others got me nowhere. I talked to the psych ward and got nowhere. I refused to pick him up and so did our sons. He said he had no clothes to wear home and I again refused to bring any s...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

OK.....there's the deal I was told last week I was obsessing about my weight and dieting and I have to get over it. I didn't think I was but OK. Now I'm upset and obsessing about the person that told me I was obsessing and can't seem to stop. I understood what she said about making a lifestyle change or...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am going to take a go on this but it might not be easy. One eye is out of the way making room for the other. I am using reading glasses for the first time on this computer. I can barely see on my tablet so I am going to keep trying to give it a go on here. I miss all of you as I have been recovering from my surgery for 6...

Ms S · Ms S

Last week I posted here about wanting things to change. I took some action and found a room to rent. I have been mulling this over. I have told my A b/f as he asked me this evening if I was planning to leave, and if so, could I just tell him. So I did. He hadn't drunk since last weekends big rant. And of cour...

Sheila F · Sheila F

I have been a member for more than 20 yeas. I have a 37 year old high functioning disabled son who also has a dealing conviction. He has not been able to find a job once he was laid off two years ago. He moved back home 9 months ago. We live in the country with no public transportation. He is becoming desp...

someonestolemyalias · someonestolemyalias

I am not sure angry is the proper term but I can't think of the word I am looking for. I have lurked on this message board for a while but this is my first time posting. My sister is an alcoholic. She hit her rock bottom Jan 2012. Her daughter (five at the time, seven now) was taken away from her and I permanent l...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Next week I will be away for 2 nights for work. The last time I traveled, AH went crazy, drinking, drugging, etc. That was 6 mos ago, 2 detoxes, and almost 60 AA meetings for him since. I have to remember that I cant control cure or cause it. He will do what he is going to do. I am justfeeling anxious about it to...

Gaby · Gaby

I tried reaching out to my son that is in recovery but I chosed to speak with his pastor instead of my son. I feel that even hearing his voice will hurt me and bring up emotions that I can't handle right now. Is it bad for me to be angry hurt fustrated towards him still for all that he has done to me and my family e...

blondie99 · blondie99

Hello dear MIP family - I hope you all are having a blessed day! Well, today's the first of my summerlong three-day weekends. It was so nice to get up without the alarm this morning, only waking when the morning sun shined on my face. My little old man dog and I are enjoying a cool morning - all the doors and w...

Hopeful925 · Hopeful925

My ABf's parents just called me and asked me to appear in court tomorrow to "testify" to the facts of their son's drinking since I'm the one who is closest to him. They want to committ him as he has been going through detoxes on the average of every 6 weeks for the past 18 mos and need supportive...

grace67 · grace67

After 16+ years of lies my husband of 24 years is now swearing he has stopped the 3-4 liters a week of gin cold turkey....hasn't had any (he says) for almost a month, but because of all the daily lying all these years I can't believe him that he did really did it all alone and with showing not one sign of wit...

sookie · sookie

This just made me laugh out loud....it is my daily horoscope for the day (Scorpio). But when you are living/dealing with an A, this is your EVERY DAY reality!! To see it spelled out in black and white makes me realize how we really have to work the program

"You want to please everyone today, yet...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Wow 30 days sure went by fast for me . It was a seperation trial to see if I can get better and work on myself and not have him watching and asking question. I was wondering why he was counting down the days?! . Out if the days he been completely away from me with no contact was only 2 days.. He found every reason...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok .. today is court and it's not going to be pretty to say the least. I had hoped we could get divorced and be done today, however after this weekend I don't see that happening. So today we will set a court date and my atty wants us all to sit down before court and go over everything. I'm sure his atty is go...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. It's said that we are exactly where we are meant to be. I am having a hard time accepting that right now. I am having a difficult time seeing where my HP is taking me. I am just not seeing it. I don't see a light at the end of this tunnel. As...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

EGO - Edging God Out ~ Courage is fear that has said its prayers. ~ Progress not Perfection. FEAR ~ Future Events Aren't Real ~ or False Evidence Appearing Real YANA ~ You Are Not Alone HELP ~ Help/Heal Ourselves/Others Purge Emptiness MYOB ~ Mind My Own Business FAITH ~ Finding Answers In The Hear...

wornoutmrsfixit · wornoutmrsfixit

It's 4:40am and I have just woken up to a life that feels like a nightmare that I can't escape from. Have you ever been so exhausted that you can't stay awake any longer but you don't want to go to sleep because you dread that sickening feeling of the reality of what is happening making you feel like you're...

KLotus · KLotus

As of yesterday, I have completely moved out of my marital home. I can hardly believe that I did it! I was working full-time, a full-time mom, in school, trying to take care of myself and having to pack up and move. I got the feeling that he never believed I would actually go (maybe I wasn't sure I would,...

PP · PP

Lately I have been thinking about resistances to attending al anon meetings and the thoughts took me to the beginning of my recovery. I dipped my toe into an al anon meeting about 23 years ago and did not go back for 14 years. I had a range of reasons, too, like "I am fine, it is my husband that has the...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I was in chat room last night and it was after the MIP meeting was over. People were cross talking, but one person was expressing frustration and dismay about her situation with a A, gave some descriptions, and seemed to be asking what others thought she should do. Multiple people (myself included) g...

sportychick · sportychick

I shared during the week about an incident involving facebook and my mum wanting to know why I had blocked her. I am so grateful for the responses I received and was able to detach from her unhealthiness. However, this weekend I have gone away with my 2 and a half year old son and parents and what should be...

Gaby · Gaby

My son in recovery .. It's been 30 days and he is able to contact me but he has not. Why am I hurting ?? I have do much I have had to deal with while he is I there. I hurt the most because my sons daughters mom will not allow me to see my grand baby and that just kills me. She knows my son is getting help do he won't lose...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm slipping. I gave my son money tonight and I am pretty sure he will drink it. I can justify it. He was verbally abusive, threatening and emotionally blackmailing. I wanted to go to my meeting and I gave him money so I could have peace in my home and I could get to my meeting. My progress fell flat for a whil...

oldergal · oldergal

No problems, situaltions to solve for anyone anymore....! What tools, steps, ideas in Al-Anon can help with loneliness....? Oldergal

Lyne · Lyne

Some days I really cope well and I feel strong. Other days not so much. I'm having alot of guilt about my son who wishes I would have already left my spouse. When he is mad or disappointed with me, I just don't feel right. It hurts so much. Just a tad codependent, yes? But it has to be my decision if I am s...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

My kids went to their dads and I am going ape. I always get a bit squirrely each time they leave for a long period of time after having them basically the whole school year on my own. Now I am overthinking and I keep being wishy washy about who I am going to go camping with between my friends and now both partie...

1976love · 1976love

Today my best friend asked if I wanted to go to her house and meet up with an friend. I thought "Wow, that would be really cool!" So I told my AH I was going and would bring the kids. He asked if I could drive him to the VFW and I said no, then he asked if I could drive him to his brothers house and I sa...

Tracy · Tracy

hi all, havent posted for a bit, but still very active al anon member. Love this site wanted to pop in, it has saved my sanity so many times and helped me to clarify my thoughts and feeliings. I am currently starting step 9 aand have just made amends to Hp, I am now starting my amends to myself WOW finding th...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I'm so upset, my heart is papitating, I called my sponsor and she didn't pick-up. My 26ish y.o. grandson just called and asked if he could come by and take a shower, he got mad and hung up when I started to tell him he needed to come by and pick up his belongings. I made the mistake of letting him leave some o...

Laura Baker · Laura Baker

I have recently left my husband and i am seeking a divorce. The last two days have been pretty rough. I saw a lawyer yesterday, and he plans on having papers served next week. I am too afraid to tell my husband. I have a sponsor but have a hard time picking up the phone! I'm just down and lonely right now

Rinn · Rinn

I had a big day today. I finally accepted some things that were very hard for me. My marriage is over. But I accepted in my heart that it should be. We talked a lot last night and today. I apologized for my part. I really never understood how its his problem but I have something to apologize for until n...

nikkibatts · nikkibatts

My girlfriend, whom I love very, very much, is an alcoholic. She's been in and out of recovery for a couple of years and as of Sunday had over 3 months of sobriety. She was doing very well, back to work, gaining independence, becoming a much better partner. We were the happiest I think we've been in our yea...

amethysts · amethysts

Hi! well I dont really know where to start and it may be long. I have been with my partner for 17 years, and got engaged 16 years ago. He is 36, I 33. We have always been very close and in love. He is a good man, works hard and looks after our home. He has always enjoyed a drink since I can remember and it's been t...

ntxalanon · ntxalanon

I am sure that this has been a topic many times (search didn't find much though), but my AW asked me to stop drinking. She has been fighting the disease for 6+ years and has been sober off and on with several slip ups/rehab, etc. She usually has gone for long stretches 9 months to a year then a slip. For con...

Pushka · Pushka

Ohhhh yes .. strikes again .. and I laugh and have tears at the same time .. dang hormones!! Oh well, it is what it is, court is coming fast and furious. Very interesting day today to say the least. I'm asking for some prayers especially in wisdom and doing the next right thing. It's all very scary at t...

Rinn · Rinn

it is so hard to look back at my marriage and see all the good and wonderful times, our family and kids. Addiction has truely taken it all away now. My husband is not only an addict, but really walked away from me. That was hard. he only comes around when he wants something or to use me. He steals, he was out w...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Today AH and I celebrate 21 years of marriage. I never imagined that our relationship would be where it is today, but despite all the craziness of recent months, I am happy today. He is actively working his recovery, I'm staying on my side of the street, working on my own recovery. I truly wish I had found...

1976love · 1976love

I don't know what has happened to me, is it recovery, or I just don't care. I have read the book getting them sober and I loved every page. Tonight my AH came home from work in a crappy mood and I knew something was up, but whatever, I was happy. A little later he told me he was drinking again and all I said wa...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I feel a little queasy tonight and I think I was running a fever today. I am under an immense amount of stress lately as I try to back off and just do my own thing for awhile and not reach out to my A boyfriend. By reach out I mean I haven't really felt like telling him I love him lately, or spending time with him m...

tortuga · tortuga

.... and by the way, I am coming here regularly to hide from the roaming of this disease. exABF is back to drinking, and so I'm back as a projection surface for him and all his wrongs in life. This would have destroyed me 1 year ago, with all the attacks, and 'you are too good for me', arrogant attitude, 'my f...

Mathieu · Mathieu

I am attending the Al Anon International in Vancouver. Active in Al Anon for 22 years, I recently moved from across the border (Niagara Falls, NY) area to San Diego. I have sustained a disability, and my income is a bit lower than before. I wonder if there are any active Al Anon males out there, heter...

Pushka · Pushka

Nothing huge just reflecting on my day. I frequent my addiction of choice which is chocolate coffee and of course since I'm a spoiled brat it's not inexpensive. Anyway, starbucks my drug of choice early this AM. I had to laugh ... I'm kind of HHALTing at the moment which for me means (Hormonal, Hung...

tortuga · tortuga

...even though I probably have to say goodbye to a person in my life. He is my ex ABF, and those here for me and with me this past year know we had some storms through withdrawal. At this point, I'm 1 year in Al Anon, happy to be, because I think that's the reason I didn't go insane with it all. what happened......

grateful2be · grateful2be

My son returned from prison unexpectedly today. He was supposed to be released last week, but it didn't happen. I don't know why. This afternoon, his PO called me at work - something I have asked that office NOT to do and put my son on the phone to re-ask me if he could stay at my place until the County had...

Concerned Little Sister · Concerned Little Sister

Returned from family vacation in Mexico 1.5 weeks ago where bro-in-law binged. He adamantly denies it to this day and my sister is almost believing him. I have proof he drank from the hotel manager. He claims to have quit 1.5 years ago after a DUI. Do I withhold this information because nothing wi...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

For a few years now I've been trying to find a way out from under the As purse strings. It has been difficult given that when I got sick 7 years ago I had to stop working. Of course God led me to my REAL job which was going through the 12 steps where I came out of denial and found Him. ive had a lot of trauma to work...

Pushka · Pushka

I don't mean in terms of is it me that all of the bad stuff happens .. LOL .. I know my part in those situations for the most I think. I mean is it me that when things are going good I am just as bad as an A where I will create situations, get lax in my program and this of course doesn't happen when things are bad .. t...

Bettina · Bettina

Remember it all comes down to YOU. Don't rely on others or wait for them to do something. Try to develop such a strong sense of responsibility that you can stand up to the fiercest storms, confidently proclaiming, I will do it. Just watch me. Please confront reality, look at it squarely in the face and...

bud · bud

How can I effectively respond when a manipulator states, "you're angry", to gain control and shut down the other person? Walking away from the situation would be my first choice, but it may not be possible. Stating "ok" or "maybe you're right" doesn't seem to appl...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

My goodness, my friends-- the outpouring here is literally bringing tears to my eyes--but in a good way! haha this evening was surreal: after a full day of my oldest son helping H move out of the house, shortly after I got home from work he stopped by, had dinner (asked if it was ok), he and I had a very nic...

stephaniej · stephaniej

The decision has been almost 3 years in the making for me, and in retrospect I think the biggest barrier to me was a feeling of total and utter failure at having TWO failed marriages before I turn 40. But, nothing is changing, nothing is getting better, and it is increasingly difficult for me to maintain...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	So conflicted (Preview) I am new to this message board. Reading some of the posts here is the first time I haven't felt like I am alone in so long. Not that I wish this chaos on any of you, but it sure does help to know that there are people who get it. I have been dealing with my A for 13 years to varying degrees. We have a child togeth...	kris1109	6	494	Jun 13, 2013 by Jen61
	Attitude (Preview) for years I was told (anytime I expressed my own opinion, which at times was what others didn't want to hear, I was told I had an attitude. This grew so big through the years that I felt attitude was based on feelings. all I knew is I thought there was something truly wrong with me, such as, I was difficul...	MeTwo2	5	496	Jun 12, 2013 by MeTwo2
	Confronting when a boundary is crossed (Preview) This is an unspoken boundary, mainly because it's against the law for AH to do what he did anyway. I went away for the weekend and AH found my spare key and drove my car this past weekend. I always write down the mileage when I go away, it's been a habit of mine for a year now and yes, there have been other tim...	ilovedogs	11	772	Jun 12, 2013 by cwya
	nowhere to turn (Preview) I have not posted here in a long time. I have no clue what to do. My life has not changed - it has gotten worse. My husband is still the drinking, sneaky, lying, SOB he was before. He is an addict, he needs help, he cannot do this on his own. Until he finds that illusive help, he will continue to destroy hi...	DebLisa55	9	475	Jun 12, 2013 by grateful2be
	Thought for the Day!! (Preview) "Never be defeated by the visible" -- Edited by Bettina on Tuesday 11th of June 2013 07:20:57 PM	Bettina	3	290	Jun 12, 2013 by PP
	"Nightmare Update" (Preview) I was so down when I posted this morning. Little sleep, a headache from crying, swollen eyes and a dread of the day to come. In the past my AH's detoxes and been extremely hard. Day 1 is seizures and 2 & 3 get progressively worse with hallucenations and violent outbursts causing restraints to have to...	wornoutmrsfixit	6	433	Jun 12, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	I seem to be getting worse (Preview) As I work my program and find out more about myself I see a really bad side of me. I hurt this morning and having a hard time forgiving myself. Sometimes it seems I will never get to a point to be able to make amends to anyone in my life. Just got to say it's hard to think about all my wrongs and problems and try...	Cathyinaz	13	611	Jun 12, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Emotions...X A close to death....again (Preview) I found out yesterday that my X A is in ICU and in critical condition. He had been missing in action for a few weeks. He has nobody, just a few celeb friends in AA he hangs with, but nobody substantial. He has been living in his car for almost 2 years and somebody found him unresponsive and took him to the E.R....	Bettina	10	466	Jun 11, 2013 by Bettina
	New and confused (Preview) I'm new here but not new to living with an AH mixed with pot. I'm broken this week as AH added his old drug of choice (Coke) back in the mix, stayed out all night and blew alot of money. Drugs, booze and strippers. We have been together for 11 years and this is the first time he has used COKE since we have been to...	axtella	5	657	Jun 12, 2013 by axtella
	3 Days and Hallelujah, He's Cured! (Preview) The AH was released from the hospital today on his 3rd day of detox because he refused treatment. The old danger to himself and others got me nowhere. I talked to the psych ward and got nowhere. I refused to pick him up and so did our sons. He said he had no clothes to wear home and I again refused to bring any s...	wornoutmrsfixit	8	496	Jun 11, 2013 by Bettina
	Obsessing about Obsessing (Preview) OK.....there's the deal I was told last week I was obsessing about my weight and dieting and I have to get over it. I didn't think I was but OK. Now I'm upset and obsessing about the person that told me I was obsessing and can't seem to stop. I understood what she said about making a lifestyle change or...	Cathyinaz	6	2709	Jun 11, 2013 by MeTwo2
	this may not be easy(corrective surgery) (Preview) I am going to take a go on this but it might not be easy. One eye is out of the way making room for the other. I am using reading glasses for the first time on this computer. I can barely see on my tablet so I am going to keep trying to give it a go on here. I miss all of you as I have been recovering from my surgery for 6...	Hoot Nanny	4	442	Jun 11, 2013 by cwya
	I found a room to rent (Preview) Last week I posted here about wanting things to change. I took some action and found a room to rent. I have been mulling this over. I have told my A b/f as he asked me this evening if I was planning to leave, and if so, could I just tell him. So I did. He hadn't drunk since last weekends big rant. And of cour...	Ms S	4	272	Jun 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	problems with family (Preview) I have been a member for more than 20 yeas. I have a 37 year old high functioning disabled son who also has a dealing conviction. He has not been able to find a job once he was laid off two years ago. He moved back home 9 months ago. We live in the country with no public transportation. He is becoming desp...	Sheila F	3	383	Jun 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	I'm angry. (Preview) I am not sure angry is the proper term but I can't think of the word I am looking for. I have lurked on this message board for a while but this is my first time posting. My sister is an alcoholic. She hit her rock bottom Jan 2012. Her daughter (five at the time, seven now) was taken away from her and I permanent l...	someonestolemyalias	5	284	Jun 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	work travel, feeling anxious (Preview) Next week I will be away for 2 nights for work. The last time I traveled, AH went crazy, drinking, drugging, etc. That was 6 mos ago, 2 detoxes, and almost 60 AA meetings for him since. I have to remember that I cant control cure or cause it. He will do what he is going to do. I am justfeeling anxious about it to...	ParisMemories	6	310	Jun 11, 2013 by ParisMemories
	I'm still weak!!! (Preview) I tried reaching out to my son that is in recovery but I chosed to speak with his pastor instead of my son. I feel that even hearing his voice will hurt me and bring up emotions that I can't handle right now. Is it bad for me to be angry hurt fustrated towards him still for all that he has done to me and my family e...	Gaby	7	473	Jun 11, 2013 by Mirandac
	HP expedited my order (Preview) Hello dear MIP family - I hope you all are having a blessed day! Well, today's the first of my summerlong three-day weekends. It was so nice to get up without the alarm this morning, only waking when the morning sun shined on my face. My little old man dog and I are enjoying a cool morning - all the doors and w...	blondie99	11	532	Jun 11, 2013 by JoyfulPraise
	I need your advice! (Preview) My ABf's parents just called me and asked me to appear in court tomorrow to "testify" to the facts of their son's drinking since I'm the one who is closest to him. They want to committ him as he has been going through detoxes on the average of every 6 weeks for the past 18 mos and need supportive...	Hopeful925	6	349	Jun 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	too many lies (Preview) After 16+ years of lies my husband of 24 years is now swearing he has stopped the 3-4 liters a week of gin cold turkey....hasn't had any (he says) for almost a month, but because of all the daily lying all these years I can't believe him that he did really did it all alone and with showing not one sign of wit...	grace67	11	516	Jun 11, 2013 by grateful2be
	Life with an A (Preview) This just made me laugh out loud....it is my daily horoscope for the day (Scorpio). But when you are living/dealing with an A, this is your EVERY DAY reality!! To see it spelled out in black and white makes me realize how we really have to work the program "You want to please everyone today, yet...	sookie	0	353	Jun 10, 2013 by sookie
	News flash my AH moving back in (Preview) Wow 30 days sure went by fast for me . It was a seperation trial to see if I can get better and work on myself and not have him watching and asking question. I was wondering why he was counting down the days?! . Out if the days he been completely away from me with no contact was only 2 days.. He found every reason...	Ms co-dependent	1	309	Jun 11, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Weird weekend and prayers today .. (Preview) Ok .. today is court and it's not going to be pretty to say the least. I had hoped we could get divorced and be done today, however after this weekend I don't see that happening. So today we will set a court date and my atty wants us all to sit down before court and go over everything. I'm sure his atty is go...	Pushka	3	321	Jun 10, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Having a hard time with acceptance (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. It's said that we are exactly where we are meant to be. I am having a hard time accepting that right now. I am having a difficult time seeing where my HP is taking me. I am just not seeing it. I don't see a light at the end of this tunnel. As...	slogan_jim	8	445	Jun 10, 2013 by Bettina
	I needed to read these acronyms today add any if you have some (Preview) EGO - Edging God Out ~ Courage is fear that has said its prayers. ~ Progress not Perfection. FEAR ~ Future Events Aren't Real ~ or False Evidence Appearing Real YANA ~ You Are Not Alone HELP ~ Help/Heal Ourselves/Others Purge Emptiness MYOB ~ Mind My Own Business FAITH ~ Finding Answers In The Hear...	Breakingfree	2	361	Jun 10, 2013 by recoveryhope
	Nightmare Reality (Preview) It's 4:40am and I have just woken up to a life that feels like a nightmare that I can't escape from. Have you ever been so exhausted that you can't stay awake any longer but you don't want to go to sleep because you dread that sickening feeling of the reality of what is happening making you feel like you're...	wornoutmrsfixit	13	612	Jun 10, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	Prayers please (Preview) As of yesterday, I have completely moved out of my marital home. I can hardly believe that I did it! I was working full-time, a full-time mom, in school, trying to take care of myself and having to pack up and move. I got the feeling that he never believed I would actually go (maybe I wasn't sure I would,...	KLotus	10	612	Jun 10, 2013 by yanksfan51
	Surrendering to Al Anon Meetings Meant the Gig was Up (Preview) Lately I have been thinking about resistances to attending al anon meetings and the thoughts took me to the beginning of my recovery. I dipped my toe into an al anon meeting about 23 years ago and did not go back for 14 years. I had a range of reasons, too, like "I am fine, it is my husband that has the...	PP	10	371	Jun 10, 2013 by PP
	Some guidance please: rules for chat room? (Preview) I was in chat room last night and it was after the MIP meeting was over. People were cross talking, but one person was expressing frustration and dismay about her situation with a A, gave some descriptions, and seemed to be asking what others thought she should do. Multiple people (myself included) g...	lgnutah	11	524	Jun 10, 2013 by John
	I have tried to keep my side of the street clean with my relationship with my mum and have reached a dead end (Preview) I shared during the week about an incident involving facebook and my mum wanting to know why I had blocked her. I am so grateful for the responses I received and was able to detach from her unhealthiness. However, this weekend I have gone away with my 2 and a half year old son and parents and what should be...	sportychick	4	496	Jun 10, 2013 by Jerry F
	My son in recovery (Preview) My son in recovery .. It's been 30 days and he is able to contact me but he has not. Why am I hurting ?? I have do much I have had to deal with while he is I there. I hurt the most because my sons daughters mom will not allow me to see my grand baby and that just kills me. She knows my son is getting help do he won't lose...	Gaby	5	630	Jun 9, 2013 by debhud
	slip (Preview) I'm slipping. I gave my son money tonight and I am pretty sure he will drink it. I can justify it. He was verbally abusive, threatening and emotionally blackmailing. I wanted to go to my meeting and I gave him money so I could have peace in my home and I could get to my meeting. My progress fell flat for a whil...	el-cee	11	327	Jun 9, 2013 by Path to Serenity
	How Can Al-Anon Program Help With Loneliness (Preview) No problems, situaltions to solve for anyone anymore....! What tools, steps, ideas in Al-Anon can help with loneliness....? Oldergal	oldergal	8	312	Jun 9, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	roller coaster (Preview) Some days I really cope well and I feel strong. Other days not so much. I'm having alot of guilt about my son who wishes I would have already left my spouse. When he is mad or disappointed with me, I just don't feel right. It hurts so much. Just a tad codependent, yes? But it has to be my decision if I am s...	Lyne	6	335	Jun 9, 2013 by Path to Serenity
	I have way over reacted instead of stopped to think and now it created drama (Preview) My kids went to their dads and I am going ape. I always get a bit squirrely each time they leave for a long period of time after having them basically the whole school year on my own. Now I am overthinking and I keep being wishy washy about who I am going to go camping with between my friends and now both partie...	Breakingfree	5	580	Jun 9, 2013 by Pushka
	letting the crisis happen (Preview) Today my best friend asked if I wanted to go to her house and meet up with an friend. I thought "Wow, that would be really cool!" So I told my AH I was going and would bring the kids. He asked if I could drive him to the VFW and I said no, then he asked if I could drive him to his brothers house and I sa...	1976love	2	417	Jun 9, 2013 by pinkchip
	amends to slef (Preview) hi all, havent posted for a bit, but still very active al anon member. Love this site wanted to pop in, it has saved my sanity so many times and helped me to clarify my thoughts and feeliings. I am currently starting step 9 aand have just made amends to Hp, I am now starting my amends to myself WOW finding th...	Tracy	6	736	Jun 9, 2013 by Peggy7
	Trying to "let go and let God" (Preview) I'm so upset, my heart is papitating, I called my sponsor and she didn't pick-up. My 26ish y.o. grandson just called and asked if he could come by and take a shower, he got mad and hung up when I started to tell him he needed to come by and pick up his belongings. I made the mistake of letting him leave some o...	Highlyfavored	8	634	Jun 9, 2013 by Bettina
	Feeling down (Preview) I have recently left my husband and i am seeking a divorce. The last two days have been pretty rough. I saw a lawyer yesterday, and he plans on having papers served next week. I am too afraid to tell my husband. I have a sponsor but have a hard time picking up the phone! I'm just down and lonely right now	Laura Baker	9	564	Jun 9, 2013 by Laura Baker
	a big acceptance (Preview) I had a big day today. I finally accepted some things that were very hard for me. My marriage is over. But I accepted in my heart that it should be. We talked a lot last night and today. I apologized for my part. I really never understood how its his problem but I have something to apologize for until n...	Rinn	4	328	Jun 9, 2013 by PP
	How many chances are too many? (Preview) My girlfriend, whom I love very, very much, is an alcoholic. She's been in and out of recovery for a couple of years and as of Sunday had over 3 months of sobriety. She was doing very well, back to work, gaining independence, becoming a much better partner. We were the happiest I think we've been in our yea...	nikkibatts	10	612	Jun 8, 2013 by Bettina
	Am I mad to be thinking of leaving him? Is it me? (Preview) Hi! well I dont really know where to start and it may be long. I have been with my partner for 17 years, and got engaged 16 years ago. He is 36, I 33. We have always been very close and in love. He is a good man, works hard and looks after our home. He has always enjoyed a drink since I can remember and it's been t...	amethysts	10	522	Jun 8, 2013 by grateful2be
	AW asked me to not drink (Preview) I am sure that this has been a topic many times (search didn't find much though), but my AW asked me to stop drinking. She has been fighting the disease for 6+ years and has been sober off and on with several slip ups/rehab, etc. She usually has gone for long stretches 9 months to a year then a slip. For con...	ntxalanon	20	746	Jun 8, 2013 by Ms S
	Pretty Special Snowflakes .. (Preview) Ohhhh yes .. strikes again .. and I laugh and have tears at the same time .. dang hormones!! Oh well, it is what it is, court is coming fast and furious. Very interesting day today to say the least. I'm asking for some prayers especially in wisdom and doing the next right thing. It's all very scary at t...	Pushka	9	309	Jun 7, 2013 by grateful2be
	easing the heart ache (Preview) it is so hard to look back at my marriage and see all the good and wonderful times, our family and kids. Addiction has truely taken it all away now. My husband is not only an addict, but really walked away from me. That was hard. he only comes around when he wants something or to use me. He steals, he was out w...	Rinn	9	431	Jun 7, 2013 by grateful2be
	Wedding Anniversary (Preview) Today AH and I celebrate 21 years of marriage. I never imagined that our relationship would be where it is today, but despite all the craziness of recent months, I am happy today. He is actively working his recovery, I'm staying on my side of the street, working on my own recovery. I truly wish I had found...	ParisMemories	6	425	Jun 7, 2013 by PP
	Whats going on with me? (Preview) I don't know what has happened to me, is it recovery, or I just don't care. I have read the book getting them sober and I loved every page. Tonight my AH came home from work in a crappy mood and I knew something was up, but whatever, I was happy. A little later he told me he was drinking again and all I said wa...	1976love	9	542	Jun 7, 2013 by pinkchip
	threats from the Alcoholic (Preview) I feel a little queasy tonight and I think I was running a fever today. I am under an immense amount of stress lately as I try to back off and just do my own thing for awhile and not reach out to my A boyfriend. By reach out I mean I haven't really felt like telling him I love him lately, or spending time with him m...	giraffe13	8	836	Jun 7, 2013 by PP
	finding shelter in Al Anon during destructive storm (Preview) .... and by the way, I am coming here regularly to hide from the roaming of this disease. exABF is back to drinking, and so I'm back as a projection surface for him and all his wrongs in life. This would have destroyed me 1 year ago, with all the attacks, and 'you are too good for me', arrogant attitude, 'my f...	tortuga	2	331	Jun 7, 2013 by Tracy
	Vancouver International (Preview) I am attending the Al Anon International in Vancouver. Active in Al Anon for 22 years, I recently moved from across the border (Niagara Falls, NY) area to San Diego. I have sustained a disability, and my income is a bit lower than before. I wonder if there are any active Al Anon males out there, heter...	Mathieu	0	394	Jun 7, 2013 by Mathieu
	Having a moment .. (Preview) Nothing huge just reflecting on my day. I frequent my addiction of choice which is chocolate coffee and of course since I'm a spoiled brat it's not inexpensive. Anyway, starbucks my drug of choice early this AM. I had to laugh ... I'm kind of HHALTing at the moment which for me means (Hormonal, Hung...	Pushka	7	328	Jun 6, 2013 by yanksfan51
	I'm alright... (Preview) ...even though I probably have to say goodbye to a person in my life. He is my ex ABF, and those here for me and with me this past year know we had some storms through withdrawal. At this point, I'm 1 year in Al Anon, happy to be, because I think that's the reason I didn't go insane with it all. what happened......	tortuga	3	389	Jun 6, 2013 by ParisMemories
	My son returns (Preview) My son returned from prison unexpectedly today. He was supposed to be released last week, but it didn't happen. I don't know why. This afternoon, his PO called me at work - something I have asked that office NOT to do and put my son on the phone to re-ask me if he could stay at my place until the County had...	grateful2be	11	541	Jun 6, 2013 by Debilyn
	Tell my sister about her hubby's binge or not? (Preview) Returned from family vacation in Mexico 1.5 weeks ago where bro-in-law binged. He adamantly denies it to this day and my sister is almost believing him. I have proof he drank from the hotel manager. He claims to have quit 1.5 years ago after a DUI. Do I withhold this information because nothing wi...	Concerned Little Sister	12	698	Jun 6, 2013 by rehprof
	Moving Forward (Preview) For a few years now I've been trying to find a way out from under the As purse strings. It has been difficult given that when I got sick 7 years ago I had to stop working. Of course God led me to my REAL job which was going through the 12 steps where I came out of denial and found Him. ive had a lot of trauma to work...	WorkingThroughIt	9	518	Jun 6, 2013 by yanksfan51
	Is it me? (Preview) I don't mean in terms of is it me that all of the bad stuff happens .. LOL .. I know my part in those situations for the most I think. I mean is it me that when things are going good I am just as bad as an A where I will create situations, get lax in my program and this of course doesn't happen when things are bad .. t...	Pushka	9	395	Jun 6, 2013 by Green Eyes
	and a Little more Wisdom for Modern Life (Preview) Remember it all comes down to YOU. Don't rely on others or wait for them to do something. Try to develop such a strong sense of responsibility that you can stand up to the fiercest storms, confidently proclaiming, I will do it. Just watch me. Please confront reality, look at it squarely in the face and...	Bettina	4	274	Jun 6, 2013 by Malsey
	help please (Preview) How can I effectively respond when a manipulator states, "you're angry", to gain control and shut down the other person? Walking away from the situation would be my first choice, but it may not be possible. Stating "ok" or "maybe you're right" doesn't seem to appl...	bud	17	336	Jun 6, 2013 by bud
	Thank you all! (Preview) My goodness, my friends-- the outpouring here is literally bringing tears to my eyes--but in a good way! haha this evening was surreal: after a full day of my oldest son helping H move out of the house, shortly after I got home from work he stopped by, had dinner (asked if it was ok), he and I had a very nic...	yanksfan51	7	292	Jun 5, 2013 by Ms S
	I am going to file for divorce (Preview) The decision has been almost 3 years in the making for me, and in retrospect I think the biggest barrier to me was a feeling of total and utter failure at having TWO failed marriages before I turn 40. But, nothing is changing, nothing is getting better, and it is increasingly difficult for me to maintain...	stephaniej	10	650	Jun 5, 2013 by unsureoffuture
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.