The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi. Welcome to MIP. Being angry, hurt and stressed out is certainly understandable given the circumstances of your present reality. The good news for you is that you are reaching out for help even if he isn't. If you haven't gotten involved with Alanon meetings in your area, that would be an excellent source of education and face to face support for you. There are on-line meetings on this board. Others will respond to you at this board with more suggestions and support, too. You've come to the right place. We've been there. We know it hurts. We know that with help we can recover together from the harmful effects of this dis-ease.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Monday 10th of June 2013 09:39:50 PM
I'm new here but not new to living with an AH mixed with pot. I'm broken this week as AH added his old drug of choice (Coke) back in the mix, stayed out all night and blew alot of money. Drugs, booze and strippers. We have been together for 11 years and this is the first time he has used COKE since we have been together.
THis is the first time he had not come hone. Of course when he did he was sorry, crying and said he needed help. Day 8 of THAT aftermath and he still hasn't "Gotten Help"
He became sober through AA before and knows what he needs to do. I'm not going to babysit him he needs to do this. I am angry, hurt, stressed out and have no trust in him anymore. He has lied to me from tiny things to bigger things. Feel like I am drowning this time.
Welcome, you have come to the right place where you can unload your burden.
There is nothing you can do for your A husband, but there is plenty you can do for yourself. Hope you begin face to face Alanon meetings as soon as you can. This disease is dreadful and unpredictable. You have a right to be angry, but after awhile anger starts to wear you down and your stressed all the time it seems.
Keep coming back to the boards and get lots of experiences and strength and hope. That will help you more in the long run then just being so exposed to this horrible roller coaster.
((((Annie))))...I can co-sign what Bettina offered because that is what saved my butt as a spouse of an alcoholic/addict myself. If you're not already attending face to face meetings of Al-Anon in your area you will find the hotline number to the meeting schedule in the white pages of your local telephone book ...call that and find out where and when we get together in your area.
The disease is cunning powerful and baffling and it needs enablers to keep going...it is good to hear that you are ready to not enable it to continue in your life. The drama session he gave you is the stall...he isn't ready...if he was he would have already called his sponsor...drugs and alcohol are his higher powers right now...greater than God, his sponsor and the program. In support of your detachment. Please keep coming back here so we can keep you standing with a smile. ((((hugs))))
Today's update seems brighter. He went to an AA meeting last night. I was very happy about that, did it without prodding as well. I'm not going to do that HE needs to do this for himself! He told me to look up AA Promises which I did. He said he really wants that. A part of me still is skeptical but I think that is normal. Here's to hoping and praying!
