Ok .. today is court and it's not going to be pretty to say the least.  I had hoped we could get divorced and be done today, however after this weekend I don't see that happening. 

So today we will set a court date and my atty wants us all to sit down before court and go over everything.  I'm sure his atty is going to encourage him to do that because neither of us can afford more court.  I have no doubt there would have to be more money paid out before actual court.  I don't have it.   

The biggest issue is that STBAX is going over the hill in terms of mental sanity.  I have had to call law enforcement to get involved and that was a very scary call to make.  I had thought long and hard after Friday night and there was a mix up on drop off times.  Honestly, I thought he was playing games and I did find out he is talking to the kids about drop off times .. that was NOT ok. 

Because of some extenuated circumstances I did get law enforcement involved for the simple fact it's the desperation in him that concerns me most.  I've already been down this road with a previous ex so I'm a little sketchy when I start seeing specific behaviors.  He's absolutely exhibiting those.  So I'm in my plan B mode at this point. 

There is a LOT more to the story I don't want to put out here suffice to say the craziness of it all .. I'm grateful for Alanon because even though I feel a tad unsettled it's not as unsettled as I would have felt without Alanon. 

Trying to keep the focus on myself and the kids .. so not easy.  Right now I smell blood; right now it's his; right now I'm poised to take him out in court.  I'm not feeling compassion for him at the moment, honestly I'm feeling pretty down right sharkish. 

So giving my inner shark to the God of my understanding and asking that He give me back exactly what I need out of that mix for today.  I want this over sooner than later at this point.  I want my STBAX to realize how serious I am about my concerns in terms of his behavior and what he's not only doing to himself what he's doing to other people. 

Thanks, P :)