Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hersh · hersh

Hi All, I am new to the program. My husband was sober for one year last year (without a program) and relapsed horribly on his one year anniversary. I have now moved out because it was a living nightmare at the house, more than I could bear to watch. He didn't lose his job or anything b...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((((((((((Family))))))))))))), Today is my birthday! Normally I don't get excited over them. After 43 years, why? But this year is different. Last year my hubby was in a serious relapse to the point where he went back to detox the day after my birthday. Now he is a chronic relapser, an...

bobump · bobump

MyA may have child protection services on her side. She told me last night that she has been talking to them and they see no reason why she shouldn't come home. I had a feeling something was up because the caseworker did tell me he spoke to my A and he was kind of quiet the last conversation.&n...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

I am hopeful today. I think my Active A has finally hit rock bottom. I will belive it when she get beyond one month sober. Thursday was a double whammy day for me. I worked from noon till 6:30pm & the dry drunk I sit with was arrogant, rude, mean & scary all day long. I am suppose to change his c...

horselover58 · horselover58

Hi, I wonder how many of you feel the same way? I feel less important to my husband then his friends, his beer, then anything. Because of being in a "dysfunctional" marriage, I have no clue what a marriage is supposed to be like. Here's an example. I have a strange schedule, work in a nursing home...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

There is a very helpful chart to educate yourself on alcoholism. It's in the hands of alcoholism centers, counselors. It's what they first handed me when I went to a counseling center, and they said, "you are not going crazy....your husband has a drinking problem"...

Tammy · Tammy

As I read the posts of my friends here on this board I find so many things similar to my situation. Alcoholism is a terrible disease but isnt there more ? I mean, I think that it goes so much deeper, a mental condition maybe ? A few years ago my husband was diagnosed with bipolar and was put on 3 diffe...

flintfeet · flintfeet

ok...i'm mad!! i have not spoken to him since he "fell off the wagon" january 3erd. i pretty much gave up on him. my dad is an A and just isn't listening/hearing us. he just doesn't care. to make a VERY LONG story short, he has been hospitalized 4 times(been brought back to life) because of his dri...

confused · confused

Replacing fear with faith. What a powerful concept. I have never thought myself a fearful person. However, today I realize that fear debilitates me. I suppose I have always thought of fear as physical danger and I am grateful that I am not and have never been in a...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Just walked in from my trip to Missouri to see son graduate from Army Military Police training. He is here at home with us until May 20th when he flies off to his first duty station (Hawaii - the lucky kid!). His brothers and sister are downstairs with him now as he unpacks (his older brother...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

(((friends))) Last night as I was going to bed I heard my A husband's cell phone ring and it was his online girlfriend.The one he drove 12 hours to meet on Easter Sunday.I closed the door to my bedroom and locked it.I listened for awhile to his conversation.She was having a problem with her comp...

Belongtome · Belongtome

Last night about 2:30 am I awakened with a panic attack. I guess I'm not letting go and letting God enough. I was unable to sleep til 5 am, and today's a 14 hour day's work for me. That hasn't happened since March. I'm just trying so hard to hold it all together, and have enough work fo...

abbyal · abbyal

The sourse of this is unknown: 1--An increased tendency to let things happen , rather than make them happen. 2=Frequent attacks of smiling. 3--Feelings of being connected with others and nature. 4-- Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation. 5--A tendency to th...

angeleyes8462 · angeleyes8462

When I said I was lead here by my HP, I mean that in more ways then one. Before I came here I was on the verge of a nervous break down. I became paranoid, [thought everyone was out to get me and hurt me], depressed [didn't sleep hardly at all, and smoked more...

QOD · QOD

My AH didn't come home again last night. That is 2 nights in a row now. He just started his new job Mon and didn't come home Wed & Thurs night. So I am figuring he obviously got fired yesterday for being a no show AGAIN. He even called his mom yesterday and told her he would pro...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) Through this whole ordeal, I have come to feel compassion for my AW where I only had anger and dismay before. Almost from the day I read the first piece of Al-Anon literature, the lightbulb went on and I imediately lost my anger for the fact that she won't stop drinking...

rtexas · rtexas

There have been a number of "newbies" here who have questioned going to the F2F meetings. You may be wondering, why go there when I have found this wonderful web site...

Well I just got back from mine a little while ago. I don't go very often (1 a week if possible), but they can be...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Feel like you are on a roller coaster? In the middle of drama, chaos? www.bendfeldt.com/alcholism.html Merry Go Round of Denial

Belongtome · Belongtome

Today I have faith...but in the lonely nights, I cry out to my HP to help me. He has, in so many ways. Right now, I guess I need to allow myself to truly believe I am worthy of HIS love, and the love of others. I've been, for the past year, letting go, one at a time, of my problems to my HP. A...

Gailey · Gailey

I spoke this morning to my son. He was in a bar last night where he hangs out alot. There is a girl there that bartends who is the daughter of a woman that his bio father was married to at one time. She told him that his dad and her mother (both dead now) were junkies. She told him that they had a son together and g...

sparkette · sparkette

My battle with the tissue box goes WAY back. Today in our f2f we were talking about boundaries and I was identifying with so much that was being said. Here in the safety of my own home in the MIP meetings I have no problem crying if I feel the need too. Today in my f2f I was struggling with that control over cry...

QOD · QOD

In Nov 05 my husband told me he was using cocaine. (some of you know my story). He already had a problem w/alcohol and has had since I have known him. It seems that since he told me he was using coke, his dirty little secret is out, he doesn't even try to fight the addiction. He used to sta...

Gailey · Gailey

I almost talked myself out of going to this meeting. I have been doing good with just reading posts here. For some reason, on my way home from work, I started feeling alot of anxiety over my A. I was getting a headache, had alot of tension in my neck and felt like crying. I don't know what came over me. I start...

marmare · marmare

I started my day on such a joyous note....then sometimes this afternoon reality hit me....my mom is dying, I am married to an alcoholic, I am unhappy in my daily life and I know I am the only one that can change it.....I will get use to the idea, I will learn to do what I must do to take care of myself. It...

aunitedway · aunitedway

Try (if using the direct link from this website and its not working) to .. write down the email address which is: recipe@12stepforums.net. then open your own browser for *outlook express, yahoo, aol , whatever it may be (you...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

Life at home has been emotionally up and down. We start the evening off good, but then it turns sour when the A feels slighted or he is not getting his way. Funny thing is, he asked me to get a life!! He asked me to take care of myself and do the things I like to do. There are things he...

aunitedway · aunitedway

Sent in my recipe and hav'nt gotten a kick back. **Yea** Glad to know all is ok and you can, again, accept Recipes for the Book! Thanks for your Service Work **Rose! ((BiGHuG))) & JOHN!

bobump · bobump

Well, A was trying to set up coming up here w/ child protective services but they can't do it. She sounds bummed and defeated. She was very upset, in general just worring about when she can come back in the house. She asked if she would be back before mothers day. I said I didn't know. I mean I feel the od...

AlaMom · AlaMom

For many months I have suspected that my husband had become active again. And for the most part I was doing very well with things. However, in recent weeks he has continued to raise the bar of his actions & behaviors against me. Simply because I wont give him what he wants and tha...

angeleyes8462 · angeleyes8462

I was up most of the night thinking alot about somethings that were said. Someone got me thinking about one of the old A's in my life. Who recently decided he wanted to date me. For me there would be no going back with him. He has asked for forgiveness for things he has done to me. I have g...

nmike · nmike

Good morning, It has almost been a year since my sober A moved out. A year and a half since he announced that he was not happy is this marriage and told our sons that he needed a break from your mother. In this year we have done things and said things that we never had in 30 years of marriage. He has gone from e...

regrets · regrets

I have called my husband a dry drunk. After reading here what "they" are he does not fall into that catagory entirely. He does do a program but he is a hell of alot more dificult to live with than when he was drinking. He is now so controlling, demanding, deceitful, manipulative, lies etc. H...

cytagirl · cytagirl

I found this group by chance months ago , and posted a couple of times whilst at work ... these seemed to be my darkest hours and somehow i coped with the situation i was in .My partner ( the A ) however just seems to be on a rollercoaster of self destruction ... a cycle of drinking when he has money , which isn'...

Cyn · Cyn

I got over the weirdness I had towards my boyfriend not calling me the other night. We talked it over, he approached it, he dealt with it and for ONCE IN MY LIFE - the person I am dating actually cared enough to solve the issue and not just ignore it and think it would go away. In fact he did the op...

rtexas · rtexas

((((Everyone)))) I haven't posted much lately, my AW has been threatening to leave on a daily basis because I just won't stop trying to fix myself. By my count we are talking 50 days in a row where she explanes she just can't live with someone who goes to "those" meetings. She got really pisse...

alana · alana

This is my first post ... I've been reading, but not posting..... Fear is my predominant feeling for the past 6 yrs or so ... it really is an emotion that can wear one down. I've worked through many issues, and each year is better than the last these last 6 years, but I still have a ways to go. I know all th...

Jeannie · Jeannie

(((everyone))) Thanks again to those of you who replied to my (not an ultimatum).My huband stopped by yesterday and brought me over a garden bench. He had picked it up at of someones trash,he put all new screws in it, stripped the wood down, restained it and repainted the metal. it is lovely. I...

sunny123 · sunny123

I had one of those week moments last night where I reached out to my A husband in hopes that he would understand how I was feeling about our situation. Instead, he was cold distant and rude. For some reason this wrecked me. I haven't slept or eaten since. I just can't understand the lack of emotions. He is i...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Just wanted to say thank you so very much for all the warm thoughts and great advice. Things are tough right now, afterall being on your own with your children after 19 years is an adjustment. However, it is a day by day minute to minute experience right now. If I am honest the only...

tootired · tootired

He came by from work this morning at 5:30 AM and I open the door and let him in a BIG Mistake. He had been using crack and was very paroniod. He has been seing things again. He talked non-sense awhile and then out of the blue he had a small gun. He put it to my head. It could have gone off and I could have b...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello Everyone, This past week has been so nice. Actually even a bit longer than a week. I accepted the good times so well, using them to keep motivated to get all that spring cleaning stuff done, keeping myself too busy to worry. My husband has been a huge help to the projects. Now this morning and ev...

rosie light shines · rosie light shines

i heard this and did my take on it...........not taken from alanon........ it's easier to accept ourselves as sick people than as bad people. And the easier it is to accept ourselves, the easier it becomes to accept responsibility for ourselves.We achieve self-acceptance t...

MaNature26 · MaNature26

I just stopped by the library yesterday and got the book Codependent No More. I have not started the AlAnon program as am having a hard time finding one close by but after reading half the book boy did I meet most of the criteria and various stages of codendency. But I had plenty of time getti...

Belongtome · Belongtome

I've been off and on the message board today, for the first time in months. I posted basically to say hi, and that I'm hanging in there. I've been really anxious that my A would call home and I would have the phone tied up, online...and I've been really concerned that I wouldn't get enough wo...

marmare · marmare

Thank you for all the prayers concerning my son being over in the sandbox. His wife has been very ill as well as my mother having terminal cancer. The Air Force did send him home for 2 weeks to spend time with my mom. However his wife's illness is progressive and she has not been well.&...

tootired · tootired

I went to my first face to face meeting tonight. It was great. I am really suprise at the courage that I am getting from the Alonon family. I am going to be ok, and most of all I am safe. thanks everyone tootired

irena · irena

I've been coming up on gaps in my memory while working on my 4th step. The one I'm dealing with right now has to do with anger -- I don't ever recall anyone expressing anger, or the results of anger, of feeling angry as a kid...I know it was there I just feel like I can't recall it. I also don't remember the y...

cabma · cabma

We're supposed to be separating soon, my A is planning on moving out memorial day weekend. I'm very confused and I'm not sure how I'm feeling about this. I knew it was coming and on some levels, I'm relieved, but I'm also scared. That's a whole different post though. What I ne...

sparkette · sparkette

Things have been so up and down the past week I just wanted to share a good moment with my family... I took the advice many of you gave me yesterday and did something good for myself. I went for a run...well it felt so good yesterday that I did it again tonight. I put on my headphones and headed out the door....

angeleyes8462 · angeleyes8462

Hi everyone, As I am new to this I have been struggling the last few days. I have been talking with one of the A's in my life. In the beginning I felt like I was to cut off all contact with him. So that is what I did. But then I started praying and praying and reading the bible, I started getting c...

irena · irena

I have been attending Al-anon meetings in my hometown for almost a year and a half, and am working the steps and reading literature etc. The effects of alcoholism in my life stem mostly from growing up with an alcoholic mom who was also an adult child, and a dad who, well, haven't figured that out yet. I ju...

Atera · Atera

I need a little help understanding the "dry drunk" and the alcoholic behavior that is symptomatic of it. My AH did quit drinking once for 8 months. Now his defense is that I still wasn't happy with him during that time, so why bother quitting again? I think this may be the dry drunk in...

hmrnrnmm · hmrnrnmm

I am so confused. I thought I posted a message but I do not see it. I saw it again last nite but now it is no where to be found. Today is Monday, I made it to my 5th f2f meeting today. I asked her to go get gas in the truck while I fed the dogs. I have me an escape bag packed. In case...

Barbara · Barbara

Im starting to think I did the right thing getting him out of there on Sunday. My mother just called. During the conversation she admitted that he had her cornered again.

Barbara · Barbara

Our son will be 14 next month. Ive been taking him on vacations (week long & long wknds) w/out his Dad (my A husband) since son was 4yrs old. When is it time to step back and let son bring a friend? Im thinking of doing less attractions and letting son hang out w/a friend at the pools instead of always nee...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

-- Edited by drucilla06 at 19:57, 2006-04-25

serendipity · serendipity

on friday i was all upset because my addict husband had moved in with his mother who is the classic enabler. i haven't spoken to them at all for the past 3 years- their decision- my husband chose me and his kids and sobriety over them and all of their insanity. but now he's out there and i'm don...

Barbara · Barbara

Husband will be picking up his drinking buddy on the way home from work Fri afternoon. They're going to a womans house who husband works with to move furniture. And then of course husband is using it as an excuse to not drive his drinking buddy back home! A husband informed me his drinking buddy will be sp...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

I have realized that my Codependent behavior and one of my flaws in character was gravatating towards drama. My A will often say, you thrive on drama and craziness and I can't stand it!! I suppose he is right to some degree. What I have learned by working this program is that when the...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

This weekend was a great weekend despite my "a's" aweful mood. The boys had a great time for their birthday and I ended up having a party even though I said I wasn't going to. We had out of town guests come in with their children. So all together I had 8 kids in my two bedroom condo!!&nbs...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Fears and PAIN (Preview) Hi All, I am new to the program. My husband was sober for one year last year (without a program) and relapsed horribly on his one year anniversary. I have now moved out because it was a living nightmare at the house, more than I could bear to watch. He didn't lose his job or anything b...	hersh	5	612	Apr 29, 2006 by maresie
	Birthday gift for me! (Preview) ((((((((((((((((Family))))))))))))), Today is my birthday! Normally I don't get excited over them. After 43 years, why? But this year is different. Last year my hubby was in a serious relapse to the point where he went back to detox the day after my birthday. Now he is a chronic relapser, an...	Karilynn	18	591	Apr 29, 2006 by maresie
	it's hard not to take inventory when... (Preview) MyA may have child protection services on her side. She told me last night that she has been talking to them and they see no reason why she shouldn't come home. I had a feeling something was up because the caseworker did tell me he spoke to my A and he was kind of quiet the last conversation.&n...	bobump	9	853	Apr 29, 2006 by maresie
	I am hopeful even though I do not know why I am here. (Preview) I am hopeful today. I think my Active A has finally hit rock bottom. I will belive it when she get beyond one month sober. Thursday was a double whammy day for me. I worked from noon till 6:30pm & the dry drunk I sit with was arrogant, rude, mean & scary all day long. I am suppose to change his c...	hmrnrnmm	2	869	Apr 29, 2006 by maresie
	Can't help the feeling (Preview) Hi, I wonder how many of you feel the same way? I feel less important to my husband then his friends, his beer, then anything. Because of being in a "dysfunctional" marriage, I have no clue what a marriage is supposed to be like. Here's an example. I have a strange schedule, work in a nursing home...	horselover58	10	496	Apr 29, 2006 by maresie
	Alcoholism: The Progressive Disease (Preview) There is a very helpful chart to educate yourself on alcoholism. It's in the hands of alcoholism centers, counselors. It's what they first handed me when I went to a counseling center, and they said, "you are not going crazy....your husband has a drinking problem"...	wallsal55	2	1051	Apr 29, 2006 by horselover58
	I think it goes deeper ... ??? (Preview) As I read the posts of my friends here on this board I find so many things similar to my situation. Alcoholism is a terrible disease but isnt there more ? I mean, I think that it goes so much deeper, a mental condition maybe ? A few years ago my husband was diagnosed with bipolar and was put on 3 diffe...	Tammy	6	444	Apr 28, 2006 by aunitedway
	why isn't this the bottom???? (Preview) ok...i'm mad!! i have not spoken to him since he "fell off the wagon" january 3erd. i pretty much gave up on him. my dad is an A and just isn't listening/hearing us. he just doesn't care. to make a VERY LONG story short, he has been hospitalized 4 times(been brought back to life) because of his dri...	flintfeet	10	612	Apr 28, 2006 by Jeannie
	Fear or faith... today I have CHOICES! (Preview) Replacing fear with faith. What a powerful concept. I have never thought myself a fearful person. However, today I realize that fear debilitates me. I suppose I have always thought of fear as physical danger and I am grateful that I am not and have never been in a...	confused	4	446	Apr 28, 2006 by aunitedway
	Off topic... Naw! Total Gratitude!! (Preview) Just walked in from my trip to Missouri to see son graduate from Army Military Police training. He is here at home with us until May 20th when he flies off to his first duty station (Hawaii - the lucky kid!). His brothers and sister are downstairs with him now as he unpacks (his older brother...	kismetstrand	12	618	Apr 28, 2006 by aunitedway
	I don't know how to live like this (Preview) (((friends))) Last night as I was going to bed I heard my A husband's cell phone ring and it was his online girlfriend.The one he drove 12 hours to meet on Easter Sunday.I closed the door to my bedroom and locked it.I listened for awhile to his conversation.She was having a problem with her comp...	drucilla06	8	610	Apr 28, 2006 by aunitedway
	Panic attack (Preview) Last night about 2:30 am I awakened with a panic attack. I guess I'm not letting go and letting God enough. I was unable to sleep til 5 am, and today's a 14 hour day's work for me. That hasn't happened since March. I'm just trying so hard to hold it all together, and have enough work fo...	Belongtome	10	1056	Apr 28, 2006 by ginblad
	12 signs of a spiritual awakening (Preview) The sourse of this is unknown: 1--An increased tendency to let things happen , rather than make them happen. 2=Frequent attacks of smiling. 3--Feelings of being connected with others and nature. 4-- Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation. 5--A tendency to th...	abbyal	6	507	Apr 28, 2006 by TLC2
	Why I came to alanon (Preview) When I said I was lead here by my HP, I mean that in more ways then one. Before I came here I was on the verge of a nervous break down. I became paranoid, [thought everyone was out to get me and hurt me], depressed [didn't sleep hardly at all, and smoked more...	angeleyes8462	3	477	Apr 28, 2006 by angeleyes8462
	He didn't come home AGAIN (Preview) My AH didn't come home again last night. That is 2 nights in a row now. He just started his new job Mon and didn't come home Wed & Thurs night. So I am figuring he obviously got fired yesterday for being a no show AGAIN. He even called his mom yesterday and told her he would pro...	QOD	8	502	Apr 28, 2006 by Jennifer
	Compassion - ESH needed (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) Through this whole ordeal, I have come to feel compassion for my AW where I only had anger and dismay before. Almost from the day I read the first piece of Al-Anon literature, the lightbulb went on and I imediately lost my anger for the fact that she won't stop drinking...	rtexas	6	486	Apr 28, 2006 by rtexas
	Face to Face meetings... (Preview) There have been a number of "newbies" here who have questioned going to the F2F meetings. You may be wondering, why go there when I have found this wonderful web site... Well I just got back from mine a little while ago. I don't go very often (1 a week if possible), but they can be...	rtexas	7	609	Apr 28, 2006 by aunitedway
	Great Read... (Preview) Feel like you are on a roller coaster? In the middle of drama, chaos? www.bendfeldt.com/alcholism.html Merry Go Round of Denial	wallsal55	1	412	Apr 28, 2006 by rtexas
	Faith (Preview) Today I have faith...but in the lonely nights, I cry out to my HP to help me. He has, in so many ways. Right now, I guess I need to allow myself to truly believe I am worthy of HIS love, and the love of others. I've been, for the past year, letting go, one at a time, of my problems to my HP. A...	Belongtome	4	422	Apr 28, 2006 by wallsal55
	???is creating drama part of the a'ism??? (Preview) I spoke this morning to my son. He was in a bar last night where he hangs out alot. There is a girl there that bartends who is the daughter of a woman that his bio father was married to at one time. She told him that his dad and her mother (both dead now) were junkies. She told him that they had a son together and g...	Gailey	3	568	Apr 28, 2006 by wallsal55
	my battle with the tissue box (Preview) My battle with the tissue box goes WAY back. Today in our f2f we were talking about boundaries and I was identifying with so much that was being said. Here in the safety of my own home in the MIP meetings I have no problem crying if I feel the need too. Today in my f2f I was struggling with that control over cry...	sparkette	9	576	Apr 28, 2006 by Diva
	I need to get off my butt & make a change (Preview) In Nov 05 my husband told me he was using cocaine. (some of you know my story). He already had a problem w/alcohol and has had since I have known him. It seems that since he told me he was using coke, his dirty little secret is out, he doesn't even try to fight the addiction. He used to sta...	QOD	5	659	Apr 28, 2006 by QOD
	first f2f meeting last night (Preview) I almost talked myself out of going to this meeting. I have been doing good with just reading posts here. For some reason, on my way home from work, I started feeling alot of anxiety over my A. I was getting a headache, had alot of tension in my neck and felt like crying. I don't know what came over me. I start...	Gailey	3	543	Apr 28, 2006 by Ria
	how sad (Preview) I started my day on such a joyous note....then sometimes this afternoon reality hit me....my mom is dying, I am married to an alcoholic, I am unhappy in my daily life and I know I am the only one that can change it.....I will get use to the idea, I will learn to do what I must do to take care of myself. It...	marmare	11	602	Apr 28, 2006 by Tammy
	COOKBOOK RECIPE NOT ACCEPTING HERE IS A SUGGESTION (Preview) Try (if using the direct link from this website and its not working) to .. write down the email address* which is: recipe@12stepforums.net. then *open your own browser* for *outlook express, yahoo, aol , whatever it may be (you...	aunitedway	3	478	Apr 28, 2006 by Ria
	The guilt I feel over his conflict... (Preview) Life at home has been emotionally up and down. We start the evening off good, but then it turns sour when the A feels slighted or he is not getting his way. Funny thing is, he asked me to get a life!! He asked me to take care of myself and do the things I like to do. There are things he...	twinmom2	3	564	Apr 27, 2006 by lin0606
	Cook Book Recipe is ACCEPTED! (Preview) Sent in my recipe and hav'nt gotten a kick back. Yea Glad to know all is ok and you can, again, accept Recipes for the Book! Thanks for your Service Work **Rose! ((BiGHuG))) & JOHN!	aunitedway	3	537	Apr 27, 2006 by aunitedway
	Finally a moment of compassion (Preview) Well, A was trying to set up coming up here w/ child protective services but they can't do it. She sounds bummed and defeated. She was very upset, in general just worring about when she can come back in the house. She asked if she would be back before mothers day. I said I didn't know. I mean I feel the od...	bobump	6	499	Apr 27, 2006 by debilyn
	Consumed... (Preview) For many months I have suspected that my husband had become active again. And for the most part I was doing very well with things. However, in recent weeks he has continued to raise the bar of his actions & behaviors against me. Simply because I wont give him what he wants and tha...	AlaMom	2	444	Apr 27, 2006 by rtexas
	Bad night so many feelings (Preview) I was up most of the night thinking alot about somethings that were said. Someone got me thinking about one of the old A's in my life. Who recently decided he wanted to date me. For me there would be no going back with him. He has asked for forgiveness for things he has done to me. I have g...	angeleyes8462	2	479	Apr 27, 2006 by angeleyes8462
	Here I sit (Preview) Good morning, It has almost been a year since my sober A moved out. A year and a half since he announced that he was not happy is this marriage and told our sons that he needed a break from your mother. In this year we have done things and said things that we never had in 30 years of marriage. He has gone from e...	nmike	3	529	Apr 27, 2006 by marmare
	Please help w/this (Preview) I have called my husband a dry drunk. After reading here what "they" are he does not fall into that catagory entirely. He does do a program but he is a hell of alot more dificult to live with than when he was drinking. He is now so controlling, demanding, deceitful, manipulative, lies etc. H...	regrets	7	566	Apr 27, 2006 by Ria
	given up trying to help but feel guilt ridden... is this normal? (Preview) I found this group by chance months ago , and posted a couple of times whilst at work ... these seemed to be my darkest hours and somehow i coped with the situation i was in .My partner ( the A ) however just seems to be on a rollercoaster of self destruction ... a cycle of drinking when he has money , which isn'...	cytagirl	6	489	Apr 27, 2006 by Karilynn
	Got over it (Preview) I got over the weirdness I had towards my boyfriend not calling me the other night. We talked it over, he approached it, he dealt with it and for ONCE IN MY LIFE - the person I am dating actually cared enough to solve the issue and not just ignore it and think it would go away. In fact he did the op...	Cyn	4	494	Apr 27, 2006 by Rebecca
	There is just no compromise in me... (Preview) ((((Everyone)))) I haven't posted much lately, my AW has been threatening to leave on a daily basis because I just won't stop trying to fix myself. By my count we are talking 50 days in a row where she explanes she just can't live with someone who goes to "those" meetings. She got really pisse...	rtexas	9	555	Apr 27, 2006 by twinmom2
	who's in charge? (Preview) This is my first post ... I've been reading, but not posting..... Fear is my predominant feeling for the past 6 yrs or so ... it really is an emotion that can wear one down. I've worked through many issues, and each year is better than the last these last 6 years, but I still have a ways to go. I know all th...	alana	5	556	Apr 26, 2006 by Lunamoth
	Now it's up to him (Preview) (((everyone))) Thanks again to those of you who replied to my (not an ultimatum).My huband stopped by yesterday and brought me over a garden bench. He had picked it up at of someones trash,he put all new screws in it, stripped the wood down, restained it and repainted the metal. it is lovely. I...	Jeannie	5	452	Apr 26, 2006 by sunny123
	Horrible Day (Preview) I had one of those week moments last night where I reached out to my A husband in hopes that he would understand how I was feeling about our situation. Instead, he was cold distant and rude. For some reason this wrecked me. I haven't slept or eaten since. I just can't understand the lack of emotions. He is i...	sunny123	9	533	Apr 26, 2006 by Becky1
	A little Update and Thank You (Preview) Hello Friends, Just wanted to say thank you so very much for all the warm thoughts and great advice. Things are tough right now, afterall being on your own with your children after 19 years is an adjustment. However, it is a day by day minute to minute experience right now. If I am honest the only...	Andrea12	3	443	Apr 26, 2006 by aunitedway
	He threaten to kill me (Preview) He came by from work this morning at 5:30 AM and I open the door and let him in a BIG Mistake. He had been using crack and was very paroniod. He has been seing things again. He talked non-sense awhile and then out of the blue he had a small gun. He put it to my head. It could have gone off and I could have b...	tootired	17	648	Apr 26, 2006 by kitty
	Fear of being well (Preview) Hello Everyone, This past week has been so nice. Actually even a bit longer than a week. I accepted the good times so well, using them to keep motivated to get all that spring cleaning stuff done, keeping myself too busy to worry. My husband has been a huge help to the projects. Now this morning and ev...	Jennifer	7	568	Apr 26, 2006 by twinmom2
	learning to accept me (Preview) i heard this and did my take on it...........not taken from alanon........ it's easier to accept ourselves as sick people than as bad people. And the easier it is to accept ourselves, the easier it becomes to accept responsibility for ourselves.We achieve self-acceptance t...	rosie light shines	1	365	Apr 26, 2006 by Belongtome
	Codependant No More (Preview) I just stopped by the library yesterday and got the book Codependent No More. I have not started the AlAnon program as am having a hard time finding one close by but after reading half the book boy did I meet most of the criteria and various stages of codendency. But I had plenty of time getti...	MaNature26	5	584	Apr 26, 2006 by Belongtome
	My failure...my progress (Preview) I've been off and on the message board today, for the first time in months. I posted basically to say hi, and that I'm hanging in there. I've been really anxious that my A would call home and I would have the phone tied up, online...and I've been really concerned that I wouldn't get enough wo...	Belongtome	4	454	Apr 26, 2006 by Belongtome
	It's a great day.... (Preview) Thank you for all the prayers concerning my son being over in the sandbox. His wife has been very ill as well as my mother having terminal cancer. The Air Force did send him home for 2 weeks to spend time with my mom. However his wife's illness is progressive and she has not been well.&...	marmare	2	432	Apr 26, 2006 by jrtjosey
	First Face to Face Mgt (Preview) I went to my first face to face meeting tonight. It was great. I am really suprise at the courage that I am getting from the Alonon family. I am going to be ok, and most of all I am safe. thanks everyone tootired	tootired	9	606	Apr 26, 2006 by horselover58
	Memory Gaps (Preview) I've been coming up on gaps in my memory while working on my 4th step. The one I'm dealing with right now has to do with anger -- I don't ever recall anyone expressing anger, or the results of anger, of feeling angry as a kid...I know it was there I just feel like I can't recall it. I also don't remember the y...	irena	5	552	Apr 26, 2006 by AlaMom
	don't want to rush into this (Preview) We're supposed to be separating soon, my A is planning on moving out memorial day weekend. I'm very confused and I'm not sure how I'm feeling about this. I knew it was coming and on some levels, I'm relieved, but I'm also scared. That's a whole different post though. What I ne...	cabma	3	681	Apr 26, 2006 by serendipity
	a good moment (Preview) Things have been so up and down the past week I just wanted to share a good moment with my family... I took the advice many of you gave me yesterday and did something good for myself. I went for a run...well it felt so good yesterday that I did it again tonight. I put on my headphones and headed out the door....	sparkette	9	534	Apr 26, 2006 by Maria123
	Learning Patience and Strength (Preview) Hi everyone, As I am new to this I have been struggling the last few days. I have been talking with one of the A's in my life. In the beginning I felt like I was to cut off all contact with him. So that is what I did. But then I started praying and praying and reading the bible, I started getting c...	angeleyes8462	4	481	Apr 26, 2006 by angeleyes8462
	Do I belong here? (Preview) I have been attending Al-anon meetings in my hometown for almost a year and a half, and am working the steps and reading literature etc. The effects of alcoholism in my life stem mostly from growing up with an alcoholic mom who was also an adult child, and a dad who, well, haven't figured that out yet. I ju...	irena	9	705	Apr 26, 2006 by irena
	please explain (Preview) I need a little help understanding the "dry drunk" and the alcoholic behavior that is symptomatic of it. My AH did quit drinking once for 8 months. Now his defense is that I still wasn't happy with him during that time, so why bother quitting again? I think this may be the dry drunk in...	Atera	7	575	Apr 26, 2006 by isabela40
	confused & feeling like I don't get it (Preview) I am so confused. I thought I posted a message but I do not see it. I saw it again last nite but now it is no where to be found. Today is Monday, I made it to my 5th f2f meeting today. I asked her to go get gas in the truck while I fed the dogs. I have me an escape bag packed. In case...	hmrnrnmm	5	972	Apr 25, 2006 by hmrnrnmm
	mother just admitted brother had her cornered again (Preview) Im starting to think I did the right thing getting him out of there on Sunday. My mother just called. During the conversation she admitted that he had her cornered again.	Barbara	3	445	Apr 25, 2006 by aunitedway
	A Dad doesnt come on vacation - when is it time to invite sons friend? (Preview) Our son will be 14 next month. Ive been taking him on vacations (week long & long wknds) w/out his Dad (my A husband) since son was 4yrs old. When is it time to step back and let son bring a friend? Im thinking of doing less attractions and letting son hang out w/a friend at the pools instead of always nee...	Barbara	5	449	Apr 25, 2006 by lin0606
	Change is hard..on them (Preview) -- Edited by drucilla06 at 19:57, 2006-04-25	drucilla06	1	518	Apr 25, 2006 by Atera
	HP working (Preview) on friday i was all upset because my addict husband had moved in with his mother who is the classic enabler. i haven't spoken to them at all for the past 3 years- their decision- my husband chose me and his kids and sobriety over them and all of their insanity. but now he's out there and i'm don...	serendipity	2	480	Apr 25, 2006 by Dolphin123
	Its Monday - Ive already been informed A husbands drinking buddy is spending Fri night at our house! (Preview) Husband will be picking up his drinking buddy on the way home from work Fri afternoon. They're going to a womans house who husband works with to move furniture. And then of course husband is using it as an excuse to not drive his drinking buddy back home! A husband informed me his drinking buddy will be sp...	Barbara	6	466	Apr 25, 2006 by horselover58
	Codependents and our Drama... (Preview) I have realized that my Codependent behavior and one of my flaws in character was gravatating towards drama. My A will often say, you thrive on drama and craziness and I can't stand it!! I suppose he is right to some degree. What I have learned by working this program is that when the...	twinmom2	3	487	Apr 25, 2006 by Dolphin123
	I feel like the same old crap is starting again (Preview) This weekend was a great weekend despite my "a's" aweful mood. The boys had a great time for their birthday and I ended up having a party even though I said I wasn't going to. We had out of town guests come in with their children. So all together I had 8 kids in my two bedroom condo!!&nbs...	twinmom2	8	465	Apr 25, 2006 by leo
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