The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been attending Al-anon meetings in my hometown for almost a year and a half, and am working the steps and reading literature etc. The effects of alcoholism in my life stem mostly from growing up with an alcoholic mom who was also an adult child, and a dad who, well, haven't figured that out yet. I just know that when I read the Al-anon pamphlet "did you grow up with a problem drinker?" I basically answer yes to all the questions, and I have found an extraordinary amount of relief in the program. My mom doesn't drink anymore, and I don't have much of a history of dating alcoholics.
I know there's a separate forum for ACA, but Al-anon steps and literature and slogans are what I know. Is it appropriate for me to be a part of this forum?
Thanks, it's been so great to read through old posts, I am working this summer in a town with no meetings accesible, so program on the internet sounds so good to me....
Of course u belong here , the only requirement for membership in this program is that u loved or have ever loved an alcoholic . I would say u qualify . Welcome Keep commin back .
I am not the child of an A but ended up in the same rooms as u did . I raised two sons in this marriage and I need adult children in my life , they help me so much with my own children. Hope we meet soon in chat . Louise
There is also a ACoA board that I haven't checked out yet but have been meaning to here also. http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42759
The 12 steps are part of acoa as well. You can stay with us and check them out if you want.
Like others said, you definately 'qualify' for memebership in Alanon. I know I personally get alot out of shares of those who aren't in an active situation anymore but find ways to apply the program to their daily lives.
Welcome to MIP.
Bob
__________________
You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
Hi Irena, I tried to post earlier but it wouldn't submit. Lost my reply now. In short, yes you 'qualify'. According to Tradition 3, "The only requirement for membership is that there be a problem of alcoholism in a relative or friend." I understand this to mean irrespective of who the alcoholic is, whether they are active and whether you are still involved with them. I was told "if you've been affected by the drinking of another, you're in the right place." You could try ACOA meetings and see how you feel. There is nothing, from what you've told us of your history, to prevent you from attending either or both fellowships; it's whatever works best for you and where you feel most comfortable.
I now believe I am an ACOA and don't feel I had a 'history' of dating alcoholics. My childhood sweetheart whom I eventually married became an alcoholic. For ten years we both drank rarely, on 'high days and holidays' and never to excess. During that time, I had no reason to suspect a drink problem let alone alcoholism, especially as his behaviours/attitude didn't alter. We married and for a couple of years he hid his drinking and was amazingly 'functional'. I suspected something was wrong but didn't know what. When the disease hit him, it hit hard and fast and progressed rapidly. I initiated separation after five years of marriage and a year later sought help from Al-Anon. I recognised that though I had removed the active drinker from my life the effects remained and I was still in turmoil.
Although it was my alcoholic husband who brought me to the fellowship, as I listened in meetings I related much of what I heard back to my childhood. It was the first time I suspected I was ACOA. I began to see it as a 'family illness' and began some 'investigations'. This was difficult as no-one in my family would say it was alcoholism. I believe today this is their denial. Either way, throughout the generations there is evidence of heavy drinking and extreme behaviours. I have been affected and Al-Anon provides the tools for me to heal and recover.
I stayed in Al-Anon as for me the ACOA meetings were fewer and less accessible geographically. Also, I personally felt more secure within the structure of Al-Anon. For example, at the ACOA group I attended they pemitted use of non-CAL literature, I believe this is acceptable within the principles/Traditions of ACOA as a whole. However, for me it distracted my focus. They both use the 12steps as a means of recovery. It was for me a matter of personal choice.
