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Our son will be 14 next month. Ive been taking him on vacations (week long & long wknds) w/out his Dad (my A husband) since son was 4yrs old. When is it time to step back and let son bring a friend? Im thinking of doing less attractions and letting son hang out w/a friend at the pools instead of always needing to run to attractions to keep us busy. If you have a spouse who doesnt vacation with you and an only child when did you start inviting their friends?
Growing up with a single mother and a brother I can tell you we did family camping trips once a year and my mom finally let us bring friends with us when were 13 years old. That seemed to be the age we both wanted some independence from her and she really respected that for us. She kept busy at the beach, by the pool, whatever she liked. We came back together in the evening and fished, cooked dinner, we all pitched in and cleaned up dishes and hanging out by the camp fire. As I got older my house became the house all us teens hung out for football games, Friday night get together's. My brother was much younger and didn't hang with the same crowd, so he had his own set of friends. My mom's whole purpose for being that open with us was to keep us out of trouble. Growing up in New Orleans can be tough on a kid if they dont stay reeled in. I was able to get into bars at 16, we traded chicken at the fast food restaraunt I worked at for beer on the weekends. (her motives were clear) My mom's big thing was I'd rather you guys have your fun here at home were you are safe instead of in the street. Bring the guys bring the Daiquri's whatever, anyone gets too drunk they're staying over. Funny, none of us got that drunk. My friends were respectful and we just liked having a comfortable place to be around. I'd love to be that kind of mom with my boys because even sharing with them the dangers of alcohol and what its done to their Dad and other family members I know they'll experiment. I can't stop that.
Sorry for the ramble, I guess my ESH is in favor of bringing along a friend for your son. I'm sure he really loves you and appreciates your adventures, but now he wants to have some adventures with his buddies. Totally understandable, you never know they may include you on one of those adventures.
Hugs,
Twinmom~
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"The people who don't mind matter and the people who mind, don't matter". (Dr. Seuss)
i was an only child and my dad never vacationed with us. i had a best friend that we took along. i think mostly because then my mom could enjoy the vacation also. she didn't have to feel like she had to entertain me. i was probably about 10 when this started but it was more because it was what i wanted and she wanted. and my best friend still has such great memories of our trips.
Did I write this (i remember i asked this same question years ago) I think its SO sweet of you to think so much of your son to care and to worry so much about him.
"It's vacation." "A time when it's ok to "lighten up." "He's 14 years old.... and is old enough for the "guys" to entertain themselves!" (* i agree, like you said...ok to leavin them alone at the pool and to hang out during the day. I also agree... NO REALLY LATE OUT TIME. To many ways to get into TROUBLE THEN. ) He is just 14.
"Make the most of the Time apart." "IT is only going to help you to begin allowing yourself to Let Go... which willl be soooo much easier on You in the aspect of separation anxiety ...for when he leaves for college and/or gets married or moves out to live on his own in what.... just 4 more years. (Time goes way to fast doesn't it?)..... The boys' growin' up! "
(((BIGHUGBARBARA)))) but remember; IF not this year.. next. After all he'll be driving soon.
You will know when its right. (((BARBARA)) Your so precious, I Love Ya!
I'd talk about this with him - be as honest as you can. You can let him know that you are in two minds about it, and aren't quite sure how you feel about this. He may have input that you didn't think of - he definitely needs to be part of this decision.
We don't do a 'big' vacation, rather, several little ones. I usually take one kid for a couple of days, then the other another time. My husband takes both of them for about a week. We also go on really low key camping trips, just to the lake outside town, and friends can either camp over with us, or come out for the day, or whatever. This year my husband will be taking each of them on a small trip alone, in addition to going camping with them both. I don't do 'the whole family on a car trip' vacations, I hated them so much in the drinking years that I just can't bring myself to, even now.
We're not much for 'attractions' - going out for lunch to a nice restaurant is about as far as we get, so I have no input on that aspect at all.
(i remember i asked this same question years ago) I think its SO sweet of you to think so much of your son to care and to worry so much about him. 
To many ways to get into TROUBLE THEN. ) 
He is just 14.
"Make the most of the Time apart." "IT is only going to help you to begin allowing yourself to Let Go... which willl be soooo much easier on You in the aspect of separation anxiety ...for when he leaves for college and/or gets married or moves out to live on his own in what.... just 4 more years. (Time goes way to fast doesn't it?)..... The boys' growin' up! "
I Love Ya!