Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

charlescharles · charlescharles

whats up folks..well the a called me last night complaining about some recording she found on her phone..i guess it was something i had put on there...the phone was mine before i gave it to her...something about me saying something about my ex she called a bit riled up..of course 1000 miles away does no...

queenie105 · queenie105

I think my AHsober has been showing signs of stinkin thinkin lately, and I know a relapse is on the horizon. In fact, I am willing to bet it is gonna be today, and I'm not sure how to handle the situation when it does happen. His relapse is not the part that getting to me, it's how to handle that relapse. See...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

She got the call today that the insurance company totaled her car. I know what a blow that was to her. It was her first car, just bought in November of last year and she made her monthly payments on it. Wouldn't you know she has decided, just since I've plunged into college, she wants to get her GED now and at...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Tomorrow is my birthday, I will be 44yrs old. All week long my abf has been asking me what I wanted to do for my special day. All week long, I havent been able to give him an answer. He suggested we go kayaking, as this is something I love to do. I told him maybe...as he kept suggesting, I kept giving maybe...

sadako · sadako

my A-boyfriend left my home Aug. 15th. at first he said "i don't love you, this is over and done." since then he's come over and we've talked (he comes over to keep his promises to my daughter), and he keeps saying that he has a lot of things to work on, and it will take him a long time, he still love...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Be honest, like I know you will be... OK, I have been doing this long distance relationship. We are in opposite time zones almost on opposite sides of the planet. We text sometimes, talk on the phone once very week or two, email rarely. We have been together, face to face only a couple of times and its gr...

MotherTeresa · MotherTeresa

I am determined to get out to a meeting tonight, have just been too close to tears to go this week, as have not heard from a son for a week, he was sounding desparate, car towed, "needed" money, etc and we held firm that he needed to sort it out himself, he is in new city, getting very little work an...

wp · wp

This is to offer prayers and hopes that hurricane Gustav will fizzle out and that Jurne and our other friends on the Gulf of Mexico will be spared more devastation. pw

buick23 · buick23

I finally went to a f2f meeting today and I'm glad I did. Things have been going pretty well lately but it's good to have that additional support. Everyone was very nice and it felt good. They even go to lunch together on Thursdays after meetings which I think is pretty cool. Just wanted to share that. Tha...

MommyM · MommyM

Hello! Here's my story. I've been married to my husband for 6 years and he has been an alcoholic for 8 years. We have two girls together (6 months and 3 1/2). Last month he showed up to work still drunk (he blew .13 after 6 hours of sleep) and his work agreed to hold his job for him while he did inpatient r...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I am now on week 2 of my Human Relations class and my Microcomputer Aps class, and just got my text books/software this past Monday. My microcomputer aps instructor is also the chair of the computer training department, so she is a very busy lady, working full-time for the college, married and with two...

Codependent · Codependent

Do you think it is okay to tell yourself that maybe SOMEDAY you will be together? I tell myself this sometimes so that I can detach for today that while we can't be together today, maybe the HP will work it out that SOMEDAY we will both be healthy enough to make it work....

angel123 · angel123

Putting the slogans into action I must accept something I can not change and have no control over.. Let Go and let God slogan is releasing my troubles to my HP (God) once I was aware of the situation Putting in action my program using slogans daily to keep me focused ,even at times I go off into space (for sa...

meagain · meagain

I have not been on this site for awhile. I do try and catch up on all the readings when I can. I have shared before problems with my son and DIL. That seems to be doing OK--in fact tonite my son called me and we had a nice chat. They would not "talk" to me for over 2 months-I worked my program, prayed...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just need to write and vent tonight tough week..and some good..by the end of it...today..my a packed up and moved back to detroit..indefinitely..but right now deffinitely gone the boundaries i put up and just me going to meetings and getting stronger and more clear helped to push this relationship...

Codependent · Codependent

As many of you know I used with my A last weekend. While it was his initiation, etc, I feel now a since of responsibility that I used with him- that I somehow condoned it or influenced. I feel like if something spirals out of control now that it might be related to me. Or at least that I am no loner the safe plac...

Kary · Kary

Hi everyone! i've been reading through the posts and have nothing but praise for all of you for your support and loving words to those in need. I'm definitely one of those in need right now... I've been married to my AH for 7 years and am just so tired and weary right now. When I met my AH he was in recovery f...

Codependent · Codependent

I was reading the previous posts about assigning blame to the alcoholic. I am just now working the first Alanon Step that says that we accept alcoholism as a disease and decide how this effects how we treat the alcoholic. I would like to hear some insight into how this has effected the relationship you h...

ddub · ddub

I get lonely. I call friends, I enjoy my own company, I have hp. No matter what I tell myself, I hate going to bed alone and I hate going to bed with AH if drinking but that is rare anyways - when he's home drinking, he passes out on the couch. He travels for work and is gone a lot. I am doing well in so many areas...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I received my shipment yesterday and this booklet is very good. They did a fantastic job on this one. Three groups here in town took up special collections to order as many copies as we could and ended up with the funds to purchase 1000 copies. Our plan is to take them to doctor's offices, mental healt...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hello ((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))))) Please forgive me for going into self-preservation mode right now. It has been really tough of late and I have been thinking a lot about choices. Whether they be good or bad, and how I have made the choices, the most important thing to realise about choi...

CJ · CJ

(((Family))) I found myself sad and lonely tonight. These types of nights have been rarer and rarer since finding Al-anon, my voice, your experiences, strenghts and hopes, and the love in the company that I keep here and at my Home Family Group. Physically, I am more than 6000 miles away from my love...

david62 · david62

((((Family))))) Just rolled back into town from a weekend AA/Alanon conference. I am so pumped up again.....I really, really needed booster shot of program! And I met someone very, very special to me. When I first came into the program 4 years ago, I went to a conference in Houston, Texas..called t...

Leetle · Leetle

I have a lot going on right now and I am trying to keep my program close to me. I am disappointed with a few things in my life right now and feel a bit unsettled about it. I am trying to avoid my normal tendency of getting anxious. I hate the physical side...I get this uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my s...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I heard these words in a meeting. "The love I give is equal to the love I expect" Truer words were never spoken. I pull away from emotional intimacy with those who are closest to me. Because, I am ashamed of who I've been in the past. I'm ashamed of my continued self imposed islation from life be...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Where do I begin? Yesterday was Tuesday, she seemed fine on Sunday, maybe a little tired from being at the kennel which is normal for her. But Monday she was still lathargic and not wanting to go outside, drinking water but not eating. By the evening she was more lathargic and was having seizures that wo...

mslouise · mslouise

So the other night my mom called and said she was too tired to watch my son for my meeting. She then kept asking me if I would take him with me, as it would be too late, etc. Tries to guilt trip me. I did not answer her and did not answer the phone after that. I did take my son to the meeting as I needed a meet...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Many years ago, my oldest AD went into an adolescent treatment unit due to chronic rage issues and other behavior that had escalated. She had just graduated 8th grade. We had family nights and family sessions, and at one point, I asked my parents if they would like to come for a family counseling sessio...

olg1213 · olg1213

Part of my anger problem with alcoholism, is the question of fault. It's the A's choice to drink but not their fault. The consequences of their actions is felt by everyone around them, but it's not their fault. If they get in the car drunk and kill someone, the fault lies on them in the eyes of the cour...

Jen57 · Jen57

I'm new to AlAnon, and I'm learning every day about how ALL the relationships in my family are screwed up. My 15 year old daughter has a pattern of making specific commitments to me and then not keeping them. So I've checked up on her... nagged her... managed her life for her. For a tiny example, she's ta...

Gailey · Gailey

I am sitting at my desk seething. My manager is someone that was a friend of mine before I started working here. She is my sister's best friend. I have been here for going on 12 years and most of the time it is great. I love my job but am getting fed up with the way she runs the office. Over the years the power has...

MommaMia14 · MommaMia14

Need advice, so I thank you in advance. Have a family member (brother in law) who is an alcoholic. Actually several of them are. My husband is a Sober man- does not drink and helpless in this matter. His mother recently died & the brother of my husband is now homeless (actually in the next few day...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

http://www.shydogsdesigns.com/temp/TearsofaWoman.pps

kissers · kissers

the A can schedule a meeting, interview; yet, never make a commitment for us to do anything? It always has to be on the spur of the moment. I don't mind being spontaneous once in a while, but I can't live my life that way when I have a child to consider. Everything seems to be on his terms. He can go out to bars,...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well, it had been over 2 weeks since I spoke with my ex who is currently sitting in rehab out in California. Today my 'moment of anger' subsided and I decided to call his room knowing that the chances of him answering the phone were slim. They are hardly ever in their room but once in a while one of his 'roo...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My sweet younger sister has a saying about our family which is, "remember when we were all so happy, back in 1994". It's kinda funny, but oh so true. That was the time when we (brothers and sisters) were all just out of college, getting married, first real jobs, having little kids. Yeah, they...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

After a really awesome weekend with my boyfriend and children this morning I have caught myself thinking about my ex A B/F who still sits in rehab. I havent spoken with him in over 2 weeks, but I cant help but have such anger towards him today. How could someone that has lost so much due to an alcohol/dr...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

This month I have not seen my parents at all. I called them when my baby took his first steps. They called me on my birthday. My father suggested that I record the baby walking and put the video on the net so they can see him. They could come here to see him. I live about an hour away from them. I did go to see them...

BigTex93 · BigTex93

day one of my journey. When is enough enough? I am at the point in my marriage where I really feel that she would rather be drunk than be with me. And that is ok...what gets me is my eight yr old daughter. It kills me to think of her going through the family break up thing...but it also kills me to see her witne...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I spent the last two weeks at my sister's and she had a great house guest (along with me) and he and I really hit it off. He was my brother-in-law's best friend. Anyway, we ended up spending quite a bit of time together. He is an A. I was able to have a lot of fun with him without drinking with him and avoiding hi...

david62 · david62

((((Family)))) In my ftf meeting last night the topic was Mistakes. I read a page out of Courage to Change (pg 60) that I found very interesting. For those of you that don't have the book (you should get it!) it begins by talking about how an automatic pilot on an airplane keeps a plane on its course. It doe...

greta · greta

Ya all know I have been struggling with employment issues.. Well I think I have a line on something, although I might need some help from all of you! Please copy and paste the addy below, all the info you need is there! Thanks in advance, Greta http://www.thelopezfamilyonline.com/play.php?first=a...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

In the beginning of al-anon I really needed to figure out some very specific ways to keep the focus on ME. These could also be looked at as INVESTMENTS in ME. I think it would be really helpful for me, right now, to review this and if there are others out there who can add to the list- GREAT! 1.) Education....

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Guess what? My books/software for college were never shipped out. The order wasn't even processed. I called the book store this morning, talked to the manager, and the lady who was supposed to be processing my order went home sick earlier this morning, and the manager couldn't even find the paperwor...

ally · ally

((((((Guys))))))))) You all know i am no longer in Al-anon as a group or online, i do however still practice the principles in my everyday life. For over two years i ate, drank and slept Al-anon. I then saw fit to try living my life on my own and gaining some independence. After six months of no fellowship...

OverTheEdge · OverTheEdge

Hi, I am new here. I have been with my AH for a year and a half. Previously, for twenty years, I was married to an abusive individual. I had to work my escape extremely carefully due to the ex-h's position in the community. Once I got away, I never looked back. I went to therapy, reworked my life and was...

nmike · nmike

I had my interview Friday. It was good. A few questions I just couldn't answer well. I am so glad I applied and went thru the process. It gave me confidence in myself and know that I will be ok whether I get the job or not. I went into the interview with all of your esh and my higher power. It doesn't get any bett...

kissers · kissers

My friend called me and asked me if I wanted to come over for lunch. I thought it was unusual for her to make me lunch. I went over her house and we had lunch. The next thing I knew she had asked me to watch her little daughter while she made a call to a customer (she works from home). I was playing with her daught...

Codependent · Codependent

So the A called me Thursday night to see what I was doing this weekend. We ended up going out Friday night and both "used." Now I feel worthless and guilty and lonely and miss him all over again. It breaks my heart that I cannot seem to be able to be around him and not use with him. It breaks my h...

maire rua · maire rua

Today I resigned from the community council. I have had a lot of hostility from same and rather than let things escalate I sent my message of resignation. I was asked to reconsider and give it more time. I have decided not to as I found it a difficult decision to make but feel it was the right one for me to mak...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Its his disease, NOT MINE! His abuse of drugs and alchol has damaged his body. My dreams of having a child with the man I love are shot. His sperm count is too low. At my annual pap exam, my doc tells me that after 40 MY fertility is cut in half. I am 36 now. And tells me that my A needs serious test done sinc...

SOSAD · SOSAD

HI IVE BEEN AWAY AWHILE the bad news is my ah got pancreantitis, the good news is my ah got pancreantitis. guess from what.? he has stopped drinkig cold turkey 3 weeks . hopefully this is his rock bottm. the dr said if he drinks he will die. he got sick the night after i was ready to go to a lawyer and stop the...

Tracy · Tracy

i HAVE TOLD MY AB THST i NEED SPACE TO DEAL WITH MY EMTIONS. tHIS IS A BOUNDARY i HAVE SET TO PROTECT ME. hE IS PROMISING THE WORLD EVERYTHINGS GOING TO BE O.K, HES GOING TO GET AJOB, A FLAT BASICALLY GROW UP HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME. i SAID HAVE A BREAK FOR 3 MONTHS AND ACTIONS WILL SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. hE...

lilms · lilms

((((((MIP Family)))) Haven't been around much in the last few months but sure have missed you all. Debilyin, you asked for an update of my adventures. I was laughing so hard trying to think of some. We have basically just been living life at my end of the world. Trying very hard not to focus on the A. So...

codependent_who_knew · codependent_who_knew

Frustrated this morning, got a text from my AH and as he is in the sober living home a week now, hasnt seen the kids, its almost a month now and my poor 6 yr old and 3 yr old are sick with not understanding...... I just keep telling them Daddy is away and God is making him feel better inside, he loves you and miss...

joyoma · joyoma

That phrase of accepting what I cannot change always has troubled me. My entire life, and I am now an old 66, I plunged right in and changed things I wanted changed (for the most part). I was independent and strong, positive, and successful in most everything I ever did. I had a pretty wonderful family l...

olg1213 · olg1213

I have read some of the threads and have gone to a few meetings and I know that I am still new, but noone talks about the anger. My husband is an active A, the longest he has gone without drinking is about thirty days after he smashed our new car, while drunk. He can be verbally abusive,and now the verbal a...

liljeannie · liljeannie

After reading and replying to some posts on dry drunks, I realized that I am in need of some esh myself. My abf has been sober for, well, I really dont know how long now, basically cuz I am no longer keeping tabs on his behavior. Things around here keep getting weirder and weirder. I feel like I am living wi...

liljeannie · liljeannie

After a particularly stressful week, I have been taking some time to take stock in what is going on in my life and around my home. Im not happy wth it. I know it is up to me to change it, and I am trying sooo hard to do it. I feel like my hands are tied right now and that makes me angry. I almost feel like I am bac...

Suzannah · Suzannah

DO I consider: My cup to be half full, or half empty? My successes or my failures most of all? That my life has been well spent, or misused? That I am the sum of all my past experiences and therefore cannot improve, or do I consider myself capable of learning from my past in order to better my future? That lif...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	morning (Preview) whats up folks..well the a called me last night complaining about some recording she found on her phone..i guess it was something i had put on there...the phone was mine before i gave it to her...something about me saying something about my ex she called a bit riled up..of course 1000 miles away does no...	charlescharles	4	431	Aug 30, 2008 by ddub
	Don't have a good feeling about this, and don't know how to deal - help (Preview) I think my AHsober has been showing signs of stinkin thinkin lately, and I know a relapse is on the horizon. In fact, I am willing to bet it is gonna be today, and I'm not sure how to handle the situation when it does happen. His relapse is not the part that getting to me, it's how to handle that relapse. See...	queenie105	14	642	Aug 30, 2008 by Peggy7
	Dealing with a crying AD (Preview) She got the call today that the insurance company totaled her car. I know what a blow that was to her. It was her first car, just bought in November of last year and she made her monthly payments on it. Wouldn't you know she has decided, just since I've plunged into college, she wants to get her GED now and at...	Tenderheartsks	5	532	Aug 30, 2008 by maresie
	Another year older....and getting wiser (Preview) Tomorrow is my birthday, I will be 44yrs old. All week long my abf has been asking me what I wanted to do for my special day. All week long, I havent been able to give him an answer. He suggested we go kayaking, as this is something I love to do. I told him maybe...as he kept suggesting, I kept giving maybe...	liljeannie	4	567	Aug 30, 2008 by maresie
	sober but now drug-addicted (Preview) my A-boyfriend left my home Aug. 15th. at first he said "i don't love you, this is over and done." since then he's come over and we've talked (he comes over to keep his promises to my daughter), and he keeps saying that he has a lot of things to work on, and it will take him a long time, he still love...	sadako	4	595	Aug 30, 2008 by maresie
	I need some help figuring this out, any ESH would be appreciated! (Preview) Be honest, like I know you will be... OK, I have been doing this long distance relationship. We are in opposite time zones almost on opposite sides of the planet. We text sometimes, talk on the phone once very week or two, email rarely. We have been together, face to face only a couple of times and its gr...	Jean4444	9	685	Aug 30, 2008 by kissers
	Trying a new f2f meeting (Preview) I am determined to get out to a meeting tonight, have just been too close to tears to go this week, as have not heard from a son for a week, he was sounding desparate, car towed, "needed" money, etc and we held firm that he needed to sort it out himself, he is in new city, getting very little work an...	MotherTeresa	5	511	Aug 30, 2008 by MotherTeresa
	our friends in Louisiana (Preview) This is to offer prayers and hopes that hurricane Gustav will fizzle out and that Jurne and our other friends on the Gulf of Mexico will be spared more devastation. pw	wp	3	2161	Aug 29, 2008 by buick23
	I went to a f2f (Preview) I finally went to a f2f meeting today and I'm glad I did. Things have been going pretty well lately but it's good to have that additional support. Everyone was very nice and it felt good. They even go to lunch together on Thursdays after meetings which I think is pretty cool. Just wanted to share that. Tha...	buick23	7	564	Aug 29, 2008 by buick23
	My Introduction (Preview) Hello! Here's my story. I've been married to my husband for 6 years and he has been an alcoholic for 8 years. We have two girls together (6 months and 3 1/2). Last month he showed up to work still drunk (he blew .13 after 6 hours of sleep) and his work agreed to hold his job for him while he did inpatient r...	MommyM	6	529	Aug 29, 2008 by Peggy7
	The rewards of patience (Preview) I am now on week 2 of my Human Relations class and my Microcomputer Aps class, and just got my text books/software this past Monday. My microcomputer aps instructor is also the chair of the computer training department, so she is a very busy lady, working full-time for the college, married and with two...	Tenderheartsks	3	802	Aug 29, 2008 by Peggy7
	Unhealthy Coping? (Preview) Do you think it is okay to tell yourself that maybe SOMEDAY you will be together? I tell myself this sometimes so that I can detach for today that while we can't be together today, maybe the HP will work it out that SOMEDAY we will both be healthy enough to make it work....	Codependent	5	374	Aug 29, 2008 by maresie
	Putting the slogans into action (Preview) Putting the slogans into action I must accept something I can not change and have no control over.. Let Go and let God slogan is releasing my troubles to my HP (God) once I was aware of the situation Putting in action my program using slogans daily to keep me focused ,even at times I go off into space (for sa...	angel123	2	579	Aug 29, 2008 by Peggy7
	I am proud of myself! (Preview) I have not been on this site for awhile. I do try and catch up on all the readings when I can. I have shared before problems with my son and DIL. That seems to be doing OK--in fact tonite my son called me and we had a nice chat. They would not "talk" to me for over 2 months-I worked my program, prayed...	meagain	4	401	Aug 29, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	hello (Preview) just need to write and vent tonight tough week..and some good..by the end of it...today..my a packed up and moved back to detroit..indefinitely..but right now deffinitely gone the boundaries i put up and just me going to meetings and getting stronger and more clear helped to push this relationship...	charlescharles	4	409	Aug 29, 2008 by maresie
	Responsibility (Preview) As many of you know I used with my A last weekend. While it was his initiation, etc, I feel now a since of responsibility that I used with him- that I somehow condoned it or influenced. I feel like if something spirals out of control now that it might be related to me. Or at least that I am no loner the safe plac...	Codependent	2	539	Aug 29, 2008 by Maria123
	Slowly losing my mind... (Preview) Hi everyone! i've been reading through the posts and have nothing but praise for all of you for your support and loving words to those in need. I'm definitely one of those in need right now... I've been married to my AH for 7 years and am just so tired and weary right now. When I met my AH he was in recovery f...	Kary	10	728	Aug 29, 2008 by Karilynn
	Step One- Accepted Alcoholism as a Disease (Preview) I was reading the previous posts about assigning blame to the alcoholic. I am just now working the first Alanon Step that says that we accept alcoholism as a disease and decide how this effects how we treat the alcoholic. I would like to hear some insight into how this has effected the relationship you h...	Codependent	14	785	Aug 29, 2008 by lmrobinson7
	fear of sleep (Preview) I get lonely. I call friends, I enjoy my own company, I have hp. No matter what I tell myself, I hate going to bed alone and I hate going to bed with AH if drinking but that is rare anyways - when he's home drinking, he passes out on the couch. He travels for work and is gone a lot. I am doing well in so many areas...	ddub	8	766	Aug 29, 2008 by Loupiness
	Al-Anon faces Alcoholism 2009 (Preview) I received my shipment yesterday and this booklet is very good. They did a fantastic job on this one. Three groups here in town took up special collections to order as many copies as we could and ended up with the funds to purchase 1000 copies. Our plan is to take them to doctor's offices, mental healt...	Mobirdie	1	432	Aug 28, 2008 by serendipity
	Enough is enough... (Preview) Hello ((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))))) Please forgive me for going into self-preservation mode right now. It has been really tough of late and I have been thinking a lot about choices. Whether they be good or bad, and how I have made the choices, the most important thing to realise about choi...	Suzannah	4	656	Aug 28, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Gratitude in pain (Preview) (((Family))) I found myself sad and lonely tonight. These types of nights have been rarer and rarer since finding Al-anon, my voice, your experiences, strenghts and hopes, and the love in the company that I keep here and at my Home Family Group. Physically, I am more than 6000 miles away from my love...	CJ	6	543	Aug 28, 2008 by Maria123
	Meeting one of the Voices in my Head (Preview) ((((Family))))) Just rolled back into town from a weekend AA/Alanon conference. I am so pumped up again.....I really, really needed booster shot of program! And I met someone very, very special to me. When I first came into the program 4 years ago, I went to a conference in Houston, Texas..called t...	david62	11	658	Aug 28, 2008 by Maria123
	Reaching Out... (Preview) I have a lot going on right now and I am trying to keep my program close to me. I am disappointed with a few things in my life right now and feel a bit unsettled about it. I am trying to avoid my normal tendency of getting anxious. I hate the physical side...I get this uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my s...	Leetle	8	578	Aug 28, 2008 by Maria123
	hit the nail on the head (Preview) I heard these words in a meeting. "The love I give is equal to the love I expect" Truer words were never spoken. I pull away from emotional intimacy with those who are closest to me. Because, I am ashamed of who I've been in the past. I'm ashamed of my continued self imposed islation from life be...	seekingserenity	5	415	Aug 28, 2008 by Maria123
	My 40th birthday was yesterday and my dog passed away... (Preview) Where do I begin? Yesterday was Tuesday, she seemed fine on Sunday, maybe a little tired from being at the kennel which is normal for her. But Monday she was still lathargic and not wanting to go outside, drinking water but not eating. By the evening she was more lathargic and was having seizures that wo...	wildthang86	13	718	Aug 28, 2008 by Maria123
	Guilt trips and Let downs (Preview) So the other night my mom called and said she was too tired to watch my son for my meeting. She then kept asking me if I would take him with me, as it would be too late, etc. Tries to guilt trip me. I did not answer her and did not answer the phone after that. I did take my son to the meeting as I needed a meet...	mslouise	3	583	Aug 28, 2008 by maresie
	Sometimes being the scapegoat stings... (Preview) Many years ago, my oldest AD went into an adolescent treatment unit due to chronic rage issues and other behavior that had escalated. She had just graduated 8th grade. We had family nights and family sessions, and at one point, I asked my parents if they would like to come for a family counseling sessio...	Tenderheartsks	3	1658	Aug 28, 2008 by maresie
	Who's fault is it anyway?? (Preview) Part of my anger problem with alcoholism, is the question of fault. It's the A's choice to drink but not their fault. The consequences of their actions is felt by everyone around them, but it's not their fault. If they get in the car drunk and kill someone, the fault lies on them in the eyes of the cour...	olg1213	12	573	Aug 28, 2008 by liljeannie
	how to detach from unkept commitments (Preview) I'm new to AlAnon, and I'm learning every day about how ALL the relationships in my family are screwed up. My 15 year old daughter has a pattern of making specific commitments to me and then not keeping them. So I've checked up on her... nagged her... managed her life for her. For a tiny example, she's ta...	Jen57	3	486	Aug 28, 2008 by maresie
	somebody stop me!!!!!!!!! (Preview) I am sitting at my desk seething. My manager is someone that was a friend of mine before I started working here. She is my sister's best friend. I have been here for going on 12 years and most of the time it is great. I love my job but am getting fed up with the way she runs the office. Over the years the power has...	Gailey	11	635	Aug 28, 2008 by lilms
	NEW HERE AND NEED ADVICE FROM RECOVERING PEOPLE (Preview) Need advice, so I thank you in advance. Have a family member (brother in law) who is an alcoholic. Actually several of them are. My husband is a Sober man- does not drink and helpless in this matter. His mother recently died & the brother of my husband is now homeless (actually in the next few day...	MommaMia14	7	1000	Aug 28, 2008 by RLC
	For all you beautiful ladies here at MIP Alanon (Preview) http://www.shydogsdesigns.com/temp/TearsofaWoman.pps	Tenderheartsks	1	543	Aug 27, 2008 by J.R.
	Why is it that...... (Preview) the A can schedule a meeting, interview; yet, never make a commitment for us to do anything? It always has to be on the spur of the moment. I don't mind being spontaneous once in a while, but I can't live my life that way when I have a child to consider. Everything seems to be on his terms. He can go out to bars,...	kissers	6	488	Aug 27, 2008 by maresie
	UGH (Preview) Well, it had been over 2 weeks since I spoke with my ex who is currently sitting in rehab out in California. Today my 'moment of anger' subsided and I decided to call his room knowing that the chances of him answering the phone were slim. They are hardly ever in their room but once in a while one of his 'roo...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	8	598	Aug 27, 2008 by lin0606
	connecting the past with the present (Preview) My sweet younger sister has a saying about our family which is, "remember when we were all so happy, back in 1994". It's kinda funny, but oh so true. That was the time when we (brothers and sisters) were all just out of college, getting married, first real jobs, having little kids. Yeah, they...	Loupiness	6	558	Aug 27, 2008 by maresie
	Sooo angry!! (Preview) After a really awesome weekend with my boyfriend and children this morning I have caught myself thinking about my ex A B/F who still sits in rehab. I havent spoken with him in over 2 weeks, but I cant help but have such anger towards him today. How could someone that has lost so much due to an alcohol/dr...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	10	632	Aug 27, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	August (Preview) This month I have not seen my parents at all. I called them when my baby took his first steps. They called me on my birthday. My father suggested that I record the baby walking and put the video on the net so they can see him. They could come here to see him. I live about an hour away from them. I did go to see them...	StargazerLily	3	440	Aug 26, 2008 by lin0606
	Hey ya'll I am Big Tex (Preview) day one of my journey. When is enough enough? I am at the point in my marriage where I really feel that she would rather be drunk than be with me. And that is ok...what gets me is my eight yr old daughter. It kills me to think of her going through the family break up thing...but it also kills me to see her witne...	BigTex93	9	689	Aug 26, 2008 by debilyn
	Saying "no thanks" to A's entering my life! (Preview) I spent the last two weeks at my sister's and she had a great house guest (along with me) and he and I really hit it off. He was my brother-in-law's best friend. Anyway, we ended up spending quite a bit of time together. He is an A. I was able to have a lot of fun with him without drinking with him and avoiding hi...	Jean4444	9	688	Aug 26, 2008 by ddub
	A Life on Autopilot (Preview) ((((Family)))) In my ftf meeting last night the topic was Mistakes. I read a page out of Courage to Change (pg 60) that I found very interesting. For those of you that don't have the book (you should get it!) it begins by talking about how an automatic pilot on an airplane keeps a plane on its course. It doe...	david62	8	678	Aug 26, 2008 by Jean4444
	Thanks to alanon I think I can do this (please roomies I need you to read this) (Preview) Ya all know I have been struggling with employment issues.. Well I think I have a line on something, although I might need some help from all of you! Please copy and paste the addy below, all the info you need is there! Thanks in advance, Greta http://www.thelopezfamilyonline.com/play.php?first=a...	greta	5	603	Aug 26, 2008 by liljeannie
	How to keep the focus on ME? (Preview) In the beginning of al-anon I really needed to figure out some very specific ways to keep the focus on ME. These could also be looked at as INVESTMENTS in ME. I think it would be really helpful for me, right now, to review this and if there are others out there who can add to the list- GREAT! 1.) Education....	Jean4444	6	584	Aug 26, 2008 by queenie105
	You would not believe the day that I had! (Preview) Guess what? My books/software for college were never shipped out. The order wasn't even processed. I called the book store this morning, talked to the manager, and the lady who was supposed to be processing my order went home sick earlier this morning, and the manager couldn't even find the paperwor...	Tenderheartsks	8	589	Aug 26, 2008 by nmike
	Courage Has Changed me........ (Preview) ((((((Guys))))))))) You all know i am no longer in Al-anon as a group or online, i do however still practice the principles in my everyday life. For over two years i ate, drank and slept Al-anon. I then saw fit to try living my life on my own and gaining some independence. After six months of no fellowship...	ally	2	444	Aug 26, 2008 by kissers
	New (Preview) Hi, I am new here. I have been with my AH for a year and a half. Previously, for twenty years, I was married to an abusive individual. I had to work my escape extremely carefully due to the ex-h's position in the community. Once I got away, I never looked back. I went to therapy, reworked my life and was...	OverTheEdge	8	505	Aug 26, 2008 by maresie
	OK Interview (Preview) I had my interview Friday. It was good. A few questions I just couldn't answer well. I am so glad I applied and went thru the process. It gave me confidence in myself and know that I will be ok whether I get the job or not. I went into the interview with all of your esh and my higher power. It doesn't get any bett...	nmike	3	624	Aug 26, 2008 by CJ
	I really don't understand... (Preview) My friend called me and asked me if I wanted to come over for lunch. I thought it was unusual for her to make me lunch. I went over her house and we had lunch. The next thing I knew she had asked me to watch her little daughter while she made a call to a customer (she works from home). I was playing with her daught...	kissers	5	564	Aug 26, 2008 by kissers
	Fell off the wagon-Beware post about my own addiction. (Preview) So the A called me Thursday night to see what I was doing this weekend. We ended up going out Friday night and both "used." Now I feel worthless and guilty and lonely and miss him all over again. It breaks my heart that I cannot seem to be able to be around him and not use with him. It breaks my h...	Codependent	11	582	Aug 26, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Dealing with people pleasing (Preview) Today I resigned from the community council. I have had a lot of hostility from same and rather than let things escalate I sent my message of resignation. I was asked to reconsider and give it more time. I have decided not to as I found it a difficult decision to make but feel it was the right one for me to mak...	maire rua	4	444	Aug 26, 2008 by kissers
	..........I am sure he is fine and dandy!!!!! (Preview) Its his disease, NOT MINE! His abuse of drugs and alchol has damaged his body. My dreams of having a child with the man I love are shot. His sperm count is too low. At my annual pap exam, my doc tells me that after 40 MY fertility is cut in half. I am 36 now. And tells me that my A needs serious test done sinc...	Sincerely	8	928	Aug 26, 2008 by olg1213
	GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS (Preview) HI IVE BEEN AWAY AWHILE the bad news is my ah got pancreantitis, the good news is my ah got pancreantitis. guess from what.? he has stopped drinkig cold turkey 3 weeks . hopefully this is his rock bottm. the dr said if he drinks he will die. he got sick the night after i was ready to go to a lawyer and stop the...	SOSAD	8	590	Aug 26, 2008 by olg1213
	FIXER (Preview) i HAVE TOLD MY AB THST i NEED SPACE TO DEAL WITH MY EMTIONS. tHIS IS A BOUNDARY i HAVE SET TO PROTECT ME. hE IS PROMISING THE WORLD EVERYTHINGS GOING TO BE O.K, HES GOING TO GET AJOB, A FLAT BASICALLY GROW UP HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME. i SAID HAVE A BREAK FOR 3 MONTHS AND ACTIONS WILL SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS. hE...	Tracy	2	503	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	Update on my Exciting NOT adventures (long) (Preview) ((((((MIP Family)))) Haven't been around much in the last few months but sure have missed you all. Debilyin, you asked for an update of my adventures. I was laughing so hard trying to think of some. We have basically just been living life at my end of the world. Trying very hard not to focus on the A. So...	lilms	2	421	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	Wow, what a way to be woken up! (Preview) Frustrated this morning, got a text from my AH and as he is in the sober living home a week now, hasnt seen the kids, its almost a month now and my poor 6 yr old and 3 yr old are sick with not understanding...... I just keep telling them Daddy is away and God is making him feel better inside, he loves you and miss...	codependent_who_knew	4	486	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	accepting what I cannot change (Preview) That phrase of accepting what I cannot change always has troubled me. My entire life, and I am now an old 66, I plunged right in and changed things I wanted changed (for the most part). I was independent and strong, positive, and successful in most everything I ever did. I had a pretty wonderful family l...	joyoma	3	434	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	What do you do with the anger? (Preview) I have read some of the threads and have gone to a few meetings and I know that I am still new, but noone talks about the anger. My husband is an active A, the longest he has gone without drinking is about thirty days after he smashed our new car, while drunk. He can be verbally abusive,and now the verbal a...	olg1213	14	815	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	eggshells and landmines (Preview) After reading and replying to some posts on dry drunks, I realized that I am in need of some esh myself. My abf has been sober for, well, I really dont know how long now, basically cuz I am no longer keeping tabs on his behavior. Things around here keep getting weirder and weirder. I feel like I am living wi...	liljeannie	8	657	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	Revving the engine...fueled by anger and clarity (Preview) After a particularly stressful week, I have been taking some time to take stock in what is going on in my life and around my home. Im not happy wth it. I know it is up to me to change it, and I am trying sooo hard to do it. I feel like my hands are tied right now and that makes me angry. I almost feel like I am bac...	liljeannie	6	512	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
	Some of the thoughts that have been whirling around my head of late... (Preview) DO I consider: My cup to be half full, or half empty? My successes or my failures most of all? That my life has been well spent, or misused? That I am the sum of all my past experiences and therefore cannot improve, or do I consider myself capable of learning from my past in order to better my future? That lif...	Suzannah	4	482	Aug 25, 2008 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.