Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

codependent_who_knew · codependent_who_knew

Is it true they will write a letter and just mail it if they just can't 'see' the person and do it face to face to make amends? Also, it sounds like the sponsor has an awful lot of weight in this process, what if they aren't a good influence, they are not licensed counselors.

Codependent · Codependent

Woke up this morning and found out that the A also went out last night with a group of friends. Obviously did not ask me to go. I really am trying to detach, but how do you fight this feeling of anxiety, of jealousy, of HURT? Thanks so much for letting me get this out. This board is such a lifesaver for me....

Joanp62 · Joanp62

I had to submit my post before I was finished because the cursor froze up and wouldn't let me post more. I know this is long, I am sorry, but I am desperate also. Before you say that maybe he needed to get away from me because I was hindering his sobriety or anything like that, please know that is not the case...

Joanp62 · Joanp62

Hi I really hope someone can give me some answers here, I am at the end of my rope. My husband is an alcoholic. We have been married 23 years. Things did not get really that bad until about 4 years ago, then he really started to lose control. Fortunately afte 2 years he started going to AA, a local group in th...

Mariner · Mariner

My partner iwent to rehab two months ago, he's doing really well and started step 2 last week. He was advised by group leader against being in a relationship whilst recovering. He was upset and has spent the last week thinking on this, tonight he asked me to tell him that I dont want to see him agai...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just got home from a pretty full day all though all is not well but i think the universe and the will of my hp helped me make a few decisions today that hopefully...or with out doubt..where the right decisions to make i made two meetings today..one of them was a fourth step meeting and the underlining aspe...

buick23 · buick23

My "Astarkravingsober" has been grumpy for 2 days now. He complains about stupid things. Of course I ended up arguing with him, couldn't help myself. Really I was defending myself and trying to show him my point which he did not care about. He's playing the blame game again, and again, I am n...

Codependent · Codependent

Again, thanks for letting me post so much this morning. I am having one of those days. I think that I am ok with the fact that the A was with the other woman and I think that I can be ok that he went out last night,etc. I mean obviously he is getting on with his life post incarceration and it just does not incl...

whitie · whitie

I moved out on my AH in Oct. '05. It was the best and hardest decision of my life. Three years later I sit in a much happier place. I'm not sure that it's the right choice for all but in my case I feel I saved my life and his life. He has been sober ever since. He is happy and involved with someone that makes him hap...

niiskuneiti · niiskuneiti

Some years back my brother drowned because he drank too much. Two years ago my other brother drank too much one day and died of alcohol poisoning. My mom who died this year had had her share of drinks. My sister has been a full-blown alcoholic for some years now. She will die soon, too. My husband drinks...

Countrymama · Countrymama

Hello, my name is Amanda and I live in Michigan. I am the adult child of two alcoholic parents and a sibling to 3 alcoholic siblings. I am the only one in my "family" who is not an alcoholic. I have never drank except for NyQuil. I read a few posts here already I am nearly in tears. But anyw...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I've always had difficulty in that I had the all or nothing attitude. I know I will do well in college; I already am. Would I like to have a 4.0 GPA? You bet! Is that realistic for me? No. The only requirement I have in my contract with Vocational Rehabilitation is that I keep at least a C average, which I have...

codependent_who_knew · codependent_who_knew

Hi Everyone, I haven't posted in a week or so....still trying to deal with my AH in a Sober Living Home and him only seeing our children once in a month. This weekend he didnt even call, I guess the long weekend or something. When he does call its, "I love you , Daddy has to go into a meeting now." H...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

are you lurking around here somewhere? Please send a sign! Hugs, J.

OverTheEdge · OverTheEdge

The kids are at their dad's this weekend. I purposely took the day off today so we could spend some time together and relax. AH came home from work at 8:30, began drinking at 8:35 and by 2:30 was pissed at me because I could not answer a question in three sentences or less - while we were going to the bank. ...

charlescharles · charlescharles

i seriously can not stnd my a at this point..yesterday and last night were truly insane and magical..i don't now why i say magical but i feel like she..from detroit..in a drunken drug addicted tail spin and i fell right into it..she ended up calling a friend of mine and my mothers house three times sayin...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((Family)))), For all of those affected by Hurricane Katrina three years ago, we remember your courage and strength you all showed us. I hope your lives have gotten much better. For all of you who are in the path of Gustav, please be safe. We will keep you in our hearts and prayers. On this lab...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I wish I could disappear. My husband called me a bitch. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with that. I know that its not a big deal to most people but that word really hurts coming from him. I've been with him for 14 years and have never heard him refer to me like that before. He thought I couldn't hear him cause...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Business meeting next Sunday. Agenda to follow :) Mandy

confuzed · confuzed

I am dating an alcoholic woman who drinks daily and is very functioning. Has a good career and responsible but when she drinks she can become very nasty at times to me and her daughter. I finally said something to her about 6 months ago and she agreed she had a problem and said she would try to cut down..But...

MommaMia14 · MommaMia14

sorry but i've got a question. what is a dry drunk exactly? there have been people I have come across, not personally, who have been calling themselves recovered for years yet there are behaviors I do not think are really recovery material. What exactly is a dry drunk? - Does being Recovered mean m...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

As I start this post I atually have no real idea where it is going. Let me start with my AH and I came to an agreement and he is moving back in. I feel quite confident in this decision and accept that he is an acoholic and understand that I have to continue with my program to keep myself strong. He understands t...

kim821 · kim821

Hi all I am new and thought I would look here for some input, advice, knowledge, etc... I am a soon to be single mother of 2. A 13 and an 8 yr old. I quit drinking almost 3 yrs ago. Will be 3 in November. I attended 1 meeting and never went beck. My ex still drinks, actually, the whole block still drinks! My 8 yr ol...

Codependent · Codependent

Realizing that I am an enabler and actually contribute to my A's condition has made me sad today. Once again, realizing that we should not be together because I am not good for him and him not good for me hurts. I guess the thought that we will NEVER be together is just overwhelming.

maresie · maresie

One year ago I decided to cut it off with the A after having spent a summer shoring him up. I cut the purse strings. I gave up! I can't say it has been an easy year. In fact many time I've felt like I was hangin on by my finger nails. I have problems galore and some of them see insurmountable. Yet I have goals, I...

mslouise · mslouise

Well, last night was a birthday meeting at my bf's AA meeting. They were having a speaker and everybody brought food - my AlAnon group included. I was very excited to go! We got there and mingled with everybody, bf introduced me and ate and had a really great time! The first speaker was a young wom...

buick23 · buick23

Well, I went to my 2nd f2f meeting tonight and it turned out great. I didn't say anything during the meeting, but I did talk to some people after the meeting. Anyway, I related to alot of what was said and there were many times when I wanted to say something but just couldn't get myself to talk. I told someon...

queenie105 · queenie105

After yesterday's fiasco, where I really though AHsober would drink and caught him in a lie, (he didn't appear to have drank btw), I came to the realization that I am totally not cut out to be the wife of an alcoholic. I always thought I could handle whatever came my way in life, and I have handled alot of t...

charlescharles · charlescharles

whats up folks..well the a called me last night complaining about some recording she found on her phone..i guess it was something i had put on there...the phone was mine before i gave it to her...something about me saying something about my ex she called a bit riled up..of course 1000 miles away does no...

queenie105 · queenie105

I think my AHsober has been showing signs of stinkin thinkin lately, and I know a relapse is on the horizon. In fact, I am willing to bet it is gonna be today, and I'm not sure how to handle the situation when it does happen. His relapse is not the part that getting to me, it's how to handle that relapse. See...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

She got the call today that the insurance company totaled her car. I know what a blow that was to her. It was her first car, just bought in November of last year and she made her monthly payments on it. Wouldn't you know she has decided, just since I've plunged into college, she wants to get her GED now and at...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Tomorrow is my birthday, I will be 44yrs old. All week long my abf has been asking me what I wanted to do for my special day. All week long, I havent been able to give him an answer. He suggested we go kayaking, as this is something I love to do. I told him maybe...as he kept suggesting, I kept giving maybe...

sadako · sadako

my A-boyfriend left my home Aug. 15th. at first he said "i don't love you, this is over and done." since then he's come over and we've talked (he comes over to keep his promises to my daughter), and he keeps saying that he has a lot of things to work on, and it will take him a long time, he still love...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Be honest, like I know you will be... OK, I have been doing this long distance relationship. We are in opposite time zones almost on opposite sides of the planet. We text sometimes, talk on the phone once very week or two, email rarely. We have been together, face to face only a couple of times and its gr...

MotherTeresa · MotherTeresa

I am determined to get out to a meeting tonight, have just been too close to tears to go this week, as have not heard from a son for a week, he was sounding desparate, car towed, "needed" money, etc and we held firm that he needed to sort it out himself, he is in new city, getting very little work an...

wp · wp

This is to offer prayers and hopes that hurricane Gustav will fizzle out and that Jurne and our other friends on the Gulf of Mexico will be spared more devastation. pw

buick23 · buick23

I finally went to a f2f meeting today and I'm glad I did. Things have been going pretty well lately but it's good to have that additional support. Everyone was very nice and it felt good. They even go to lunch together on Thursdays after meetings which I think is pretty cool. Just wanted to share that. Tha...

MommyM · MommyM

Hello! Here's my story. I've been married to my husband for 6 years and he has been an alcoholic for 8 years. We have two girls together (6 months and 3 1/2). Last month he showed up to work still drunk (he blew .13 after 6 hours of sleep) and his work agreed to hold his job for him while he did inpatient r...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I am now on week 2 of my Human Relations class and my Microcomputer Aps class, and just got my text books/software this past Monday. My microcomputer aps instructor is also the chair of the computer training department, so she is a very busy lady, working full-time for the college, married and with two...

Codependent · Codependent

Do you think it is okay to tell yourself that maybe SOMEDAY you will be together? I tell myself this sometimes so that I can detach for today that while we can't be together today, maybe the HP will work it out that SOMEDAY we will both be healthy enough to make it work....

angel123 · angel123

Putting the slogans into action I must accept something I can not change and have no control over.. Let Go and let God slogan is releasing my troubles to my HP (God) once I was aware of the situation Putting in action my program using slogans daily to keep me focused ,even at times I go off into space (for sa...

meagain · meagain

I have not been on this site for awhile. I do try and catch up on all the readings when I can. I have shared before problems with my son and DIL. That seems to be doing OK--in fact tonite my son called me and we had a nice chat. They would not "talk" to me for over 2 months-I worked my program, prayed...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just need to write and vent tonight tough week..and some good..by the end of it...today..my a packed up and moved back to detroit..indefinitely..but right now deffinitely gone the boundaries i put up and just me going to meetings and getting stronger and more clear helped to push this relationship...

Codependent · Codependent

As many of you know I used with my A last weekend. While it was his initiation, etc, I feel now a since of responsibility that I used with him- that I somehow condoned it or influenced. I feel like if something spirals out of control now that it might be related to me. Or at least that I am no loner the safe plac...

Kary · Kary

Hi everyone! i've been reading through the posts and have nothing but praise for all of you for your support and loving words to those in need. I'm definitely one of those in need right now... I've been married to my AH for 7 years and am just so tired and weary right now. When I met my AH he was in recovery f...

Codependent · Codependent

I was reading the previous posts about assigning blame to the alcoholic. I am just now working the first Alanon Step that says that we accept alcoholism as a disease and decide how this effects how we treat the alcoholic. I would like to hear some insight into how this has effected the relationship you h...

ddub · ddub

I get lonely. I call friends, I enjoy my own company, I have hp. No matter what I tell myself, I hate going to bed alone and I hate going to bed with AH if drinking but that is rare anyways - when he's home drinking, he passes out on the couch. He travels for work and is gone a lot. I am doing well in so many areas...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I received my shipment yesterday and this booklet is very good. They did a fantastic job on this one. Three groups here in town took up special collections to order as many copies as we could and ended up with the funds to purchase 1000 copies. Our plan is to take them to doctor's offices, mental healt...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hello ((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))))) Please forgive me for going into self-preservation mode right now. It has been really tough of late and I have been thinking a lot about choices. Whether they be good or bad, and how I have made the choices, the most important thing to realise about choi...

CJ · CJ

(((Family))) I found myself sad and lonely tonight. These types of nights have been rarer and rarer since finding Al-anon, my voice, your experiences, strenghts and hopes, and the love in the company that I keep here and at my Home Family Group. Physically, I am more than 6000 miles away from my love...

david62 · david62

((((Family))))) Just rolled back into town from a weekend AA/Alanon conference. I am so pumped up again.....I really, really needed booster shot of program! And I met someone very, very special to me. When I first came into the program 4 years ago, I went to a conference in Houston, Texas..called t...

Leetle · Leetle

I have a lot going on right now and I am trying to keep my program close to me. I am disappointed with a few things in my life right now and feel a bit unsettled about it. I am trying to avoid my normal tendency of getting anxious. I hate the physical side...I get this uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my s...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I heard these words in a meeting. "The love I give is equal to the love I expect" Truer words were never spoken. I pull away from emotional intimacy with those who are closest to me. Because, I am ashamed of who I've been in the past. I'm ashamed of my continued self imposed islation from life be...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Where do I begin? Yesterday was Tuesday, she seemed fine on Sunday, maybe a little tired from being at the kennel which is normal for her. But Monday she was still lathargic and not wanting to go outside, drinking water but not eating. By the evening she was more lathargic and was having seizures that wo...

mslouise · mslouise

So the other night my mom called and said she was too tired to watch my son for my meeting. She then kept asking me if I would take him with me, as it would be too late, etc. Tries to guilt trip me. I did not answer her and did not answer the phone after that. I did take my son to the meeting as I needed a meet...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Many years ago, my oldest AD went into an adolescent treatment unit due to chronic rage issues and other behavior that had escalated. She had just graduated 8th grade. We had family nights and family sessions, and at one point, I asked my parents if they would like to come for a family counseling sessio...

olg1213 · olg1213

Part of my anger problem with alcoholism, is the question of fault. It's the A's choice to drink but not their fault. The consequences of their actions is felt by everyone around them, but it's not their fault. If they get in the car drunk and kill someone, the fault lies on them in the eyes of the cour...

Jen57 · Jen57

I'm new to AlAnon, and I'm learning every day about how ALL the relationships in my family are screwed up. My 15 year old daughter has a pattern of making specific commitments to me and then not keeping them. So I've checked up on her... nagged her... managed her life for her. For a tiny example, she's ta...

Gailey · Gailey

I am sitting at my desk seething. My manager is someone that was a friend of mine before I started working here. She is my sister's best friend. I have been here for going on 12 years and most of the time it is great. I love my job but am getting fed up with the way she runs the office. Over the years the power has...

MommaMia14 · MommaMia14

Need advice, so I thank you in advance. Have a family member (brother in law) who is an alcoholic. Actually several of them are. My husband is a Sober man- does not drink and helpless in this matter. His mother recently died & the brother of my husband is now homeless (actually in the next few day...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Question, letter in 12 step program (Preview) Is it true they will write a letter and just mail it if they just can't 'see' the person and do it face to face to make amends? Also, it sounds like the sponsor has an awful lot of weight in this process, what if they aren't a good influence, they are not licensed counselors.	codependent_who_knew	5	839	Sep 2, 2008 by codependent_who_knew
	How do you fight the jealousy feelings? (Preview) Woke up this morning and found out that the A also went out last night with a group of friends. Obviously did not ask me to go. I really am trying to detach, but how do you fight this feeling of anxiety, of jealousy, of HURT? Thanks so much for letting me get this out. This board is such a lifesaver for me....	Codependent	8	3428	Sep 2, 2008 by maresie
	Part 2 New here and need answers (Preview) I had to submit my post before I was finished because the cursor froze up and wouldn't let me post more. I know this is long, I am sorry, but I am desperate also. Before you say that maybe he needed to get away from me because I was hindering his sobriety or anything like that, please know that is not the case...	Joanp62	8	763	Sep 2, 2008 by maresie
	Hi-I am new here and really need help and answers (Preview) Hi I really hope someone can give me some answers here, I am at the end of my rope. My husband is an alcoholic. We have been married 23 years. Things did not get really that bad until about 4 years ago, then he really started to lose control. Fortunately afte 2 years he started going to AA, a local group in th...	Joanp62	9	688	Sep 2, 2008 by maresie
	Help I feel discarded (Preview) My partner iwent to rehab two months ago, he's doing really well and started step 2 last week. He was advised by group leader against being in a relationship whilst recovering. He was upset and has spent the last week thinking on this, tonight he asked me to tell him that I dont want to see him agai...	Mariner	7	760	Sep 2, 2008 by maresie
	night time (Preview) just got home from a pretty full day all though all is not well but i think the universe and the will of my hp helped me make a few decisions today that hopefully...or with out doubt..where the right decisions to make i made two meetings today..one of them was a fourth step meeting and the underlining aspe...	charlescharles	3	459	Sep 2, 2008 by maresie
	I'm so ready for another meeting (Preview) My "Astarkravingsober" has been grumpy for 2 days now. He complains about stupid things. Of course I ended up arguing with him, couldn't help myself. Really I was defending myself and trying to show him my point which he did not care about. He's playing the blame game again, and again, I am n...	buick23	4	919	Sep 2, 2008 by buick23
	Saying too much.... (Preview) Again, thanks for letting me post so much this morning. I am having one of those days. I think that I am ok with the fact that the A was with the other woman and I think that I can be ok that he went out last night,etc. I mean obviously he is getting on with his life post incarceration and it just does not incl...	Codependent	2	546	Sep 2, 2008 by Maria123
	Life 3 yrs later (Preview) I moved out on my AH in Oct. '05. It was the best and hardest decision of my life. Three years later I sit in a much happier place. I'm not sure that it's the right choice for all but in my case I feel I saved my life and his life. He has been sober ever since. He is happy and involved with someone that makes him hap...	whitie	4	602	Sep 2, 2008 by Jerry F
	I just want someone to hear my story ... (Preview) Some years back my brother drowned because he drank too much. Two years ago my other brother drank too much one day and died of alcohol poisoning. My mom who died this year had had her share of drinks. My sister has been a full-blown alcoholic for some years now. She will die soon, too. My husband drinks...	niiskuneiti	5	778	Sep 2, 2008 by Jerry F
	Hello, thisis my first post :) (Preview) Hello, my name is Amanda and I live in Michigan. I am the adult child of two alcoholic parents and a sibling to 3 alcoholic siblings. I am the only one in my "family" who is not an alcoholic. I have never drank except for NyQuil. I read a few posts here already I am nearly in tears. But anyw...	Countrymama	6	724	Sep 2, 2008 by Jerry F
	Trying to stay away from perfectionism (Preview) I've always had difficulty in that I had the all or nothing attitude. I know I will do well in college; I already am. Would I like to have a 4.0 GPA? You bet! Is that realistic for me? No. The only requirement I have in my contract with Vocational Rehabilitation is that I keep at least a C average, which I have...	Tenderheartsks	4	854	Sep 2, 2008 by Jerry F
	Heavy Heart (Preview) Hi Everyone, I haven't posted in a week or so....still trying to deal with my AH in a Sober Living Home and him only seeing our children once in a month. This weekend he didnt even call, I guess the long weekend or something. When he does call its, "I love you , Daddy has to go into a meeting now." H...	codependent_who_knew	3	537	Sep 1, 2008 by nmike
	R3 where are you? I want to hear how its going, missy... (Preview) are you lurking around here somewhere? Please send a sign! Hugs, J.	Jean4444	1	346	Sep 1, 2008 by serendipity
	Another Day Ruined (Preview) The kids are at their dad's this weekend. I purposely took the day off today so we could spend some time together and relax. AH came home from work at 8:30, began drinking at 8:35 and by 2:30 was pissed at me because I could not answer a question in three sentences or less - while we were going to the bank. ...	OverTheEdge	5	527	Aug 31, 2008 by OverTheEdge
	ready to destroy (Preview) i seriously can not stnd my a at this point..yesterday and last night were truly insane and magical..i don't now why i say magical but i feel like she..from detroit..in a drunken drug addicted tail spin and i fell right into it..she ended up calling a friend of mine and my mothers house three times sayin...	charlescharles	6	490	Aug 31, 2008 by charlescharles
	Gustav & Katrina (Preview) ((((((Family)))), For all of those affected by Hurricane Katrina three years ago, we remember your courage and strength you all showed us. I hope your lives have gotten much better. For all of you who are in the path of Gustav, please be safe. We will keep you in our hearts and prayers. On this lab...	Karilynn	2	551	Aug 31, 2008 by wp
	Hurt feelings (Preview) I wish I could disappear. My husband called me a bitch. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with that. I know that its not a big deal to most people but that word really hurts coming from him. I've been with him for 14 years and have never heard him refer to me like that before. He thought I couldn't hear him cause...	StargazerLily	6	818	Aug 31, 2008 by wp
	September Business Meeting (Preview) Hi all, Business meeting next Sunday. Agenda to follow :) Mandy	Mandy123	0	467	Aug 31, 2008 by Mandy123
	I need help please-Falling into depression (Preview) I am dating an alcoholic woman who drinks daily and is very functioning. Has a good career and responsible but when she drinks she can become very nasty at times to me and her daughter. I finally said something to her about 6 months ago and she agreed she had a problem and said she would try to cut down..But...	confuzed	7	745	Aug 31, 2008 by kitty
	Dry Drunk? (Preview) sorry but i've got a question. what is a dry drunk exactly? there have been people I have come across, not personally, who have been calling themselves recovered for years yet there are behaviors I do not think are really recovery material. What exactly is a dry drunk? - Does being Recovered mean m...	MommaMia14	4	1400	Aug 31, 2008 by kitty
	My AH is moving back home, hmmm. (Preview) As I start this post I atually have no real idea where it is going. Let me start with my AH and I came to an agreement and he is moving back in. I feel quite confident in this decision and accept that he is an acoholic and understand that I have to continue with my program to keep myself strong. He understands t...	wildthang86	5	591	Aug 31, 2008 by maresie
	Children and Drinking (Preview) Hi all I am new and thought I would look here for some input, advice, knowledge, etc... I am a soon to be single mother of 2. A 13 and an 8 yr old. I quit drinking almost 3 yrs ago. Will be 3 in November. I attended 1 meeting and never went beck. My ex still drinks, actually, the whole block still drinks! My 8 yr ol...	kim821	9	685	Aug 31, 2008 by junehouse
	Realizing that you are more harm than good (Preview) Realizing that I am an enabler and actually contribute to my A's condition has made me sad today. Once again, realizing that we should not be together because I am not good for him and him not good for me hurts. I guess the thought that we will NEVER be together is just overwhelming.	Codependent	6	569	Aug 31, 2008 by Jean4444
	One year out... looking back. (Preview) One year ago I decided to cut it off with the A after having spent a summer shoring him up. I cut the purse strings. I gave up! I can't say it has been an easy year. In fact many time I've felt like I was hangin on by my finger nails. I have problems galore and some of them see insurmountable. Yet I have goals, I...	maresie	6	519	Aug 31, 2008 by kissers
	Last night I learned how much I hate Alcohol..does anyone feel like this?...first open meeting (Preview) Well, last night was a birthday meeting at my bf's AA meeting. They were having a speaker and everybody brought food - my AlAnon group included. I was very excited to go! We got there and mingled with everybody, bf introduced me and ate and had a really great time! The first speaker was a young wom...	mslouise	18	767	Aug 31, 2008 by Phebe
	second f2f (Preview) Well, I went to my 2nd f2f meeting tonight and it turned out great. I didn't say anything during the meeting, but I did talk to some people after the meeting. Anyway, I related to alot of what was said and there were many times when I wanted to say something but just couldn't get myself to talk. I told someon...	buick23	4	600	Aug 31, 2008 by kitty
	I'm not cut out to be the wife of an alcoholic (Preview) After yesterday's fiasco, where I really though AHsober would drink and caught him in a lie, (he didn't appear to have drank btw), I came to the realization that I am totally not cut out to be the wife of an alcoholic. I always thought I could handle whatever came my way in life, and I have handled alot of t...	queenie105	11	871	Aug 31, 2008 by whitie
	morning (Preview) whats up folks..well the a called me last night complaining about some recording she found on her phone..i guess it was something i had put on there...the phone was mine before i gave it to her...something about me saying something about my ex she called a bit riled up..of course 1000 miles away does no...	charlescharles	4	507	Aug 30, 2008 by ddub
	Don't have a good feeling about this, and don't know how to deal - help (Preview) I think my AHsober has been showing signs of stinkin thinkin lately, and I know a relapse is on the horizon. In fact, I am willing to bet it is gonna be today, and I'm not sure how to handle the situation when it does happen. His relapse is not the part that getting to me, it's how to handle that relapse. See...	queenie105	14	717	Aug 30, 2008 by Peggy7
	Dealing with a crying AD (Preview) She got the call today that the insurance company totaled her car. I know what a blow that was to her. It was her first car, just bought in November of last year and she made her monthly payments on it. Wouldn't you know she has decided, just since I've plunged into college, she wants to get her GED now and at...	Tenderheartsks	5	598	Aug 30, 2008 by maresie
	Another year older....and getting wiser (Preview) Tomorrow is my birthday, I will be 44yrs old. All week long my abf has been asking me what I wanted to do for my special day. All week long, I havent been able to give him an answer. He suggested we go kayaking, as this is something I love to do. I told him maybe...as he kept suggesting, I kept giving maybe...	liljeannie	4	632	Aug 30, 2008 by maresie
	sober but now drug-addicted (Preview) my A-boyfriend left my home Aug. 15th. at first he said "i don't love you, this is over and done." since then he's come over and we've talked (he comes over to keep his promises to my daughter), and he keeps saying that he has a lot of things to work on, and it will take him a long time, he still love...	sadako	4	657	Aug 30, 2008 by maresie
	I need some help figuring this out, any ESH would be appreciated! (Preview) Be honest, like I know you will be... OK, I have been doing this long distance relationship. We are in opposite time zones almost on opposite sides of the planet. We text sometimes, talk on the phone once very week or two, email rarely. We have been together, face to face only a couple of times and its gr...	Jean4444	9	743	Aug 30, 2008 by kissers
	Trying a new f2f meeting (Preview) I am determined to get out to a meeting tonight, have just been too close to tears to go this week, as have not heard from a son for a week, he was sounding desparate, car towed, "needed" money, etc and we held firm that he needed to sort it out himself, he is in new city, getting very little work an...	MotherTeresa	5	590	Aug 30, 2008 by MotherTeresa
	our friends in Louisiana (Preview) This is to offer prayers and hopes that hurricane Gustav will fizzle out and that Jurne and our other friends on the Gulf of Mexico will be spared more devastation. pw	wp	3	2459	Aug 29, 2008 by buick23
	I went to a f2f (Preview) I finally went to a f2f meeting today and I'm glad I did. Things have been going pretty well lately but it's good to have that additional support. Everyone was very nice and it felt good. They even go to lunch together on Thursdays after meetings which I think is pretty cool. Just wanted to share that. Tha...	buick23	7	633	Aug 29, 2008 by buick23
	My Introduction (Preview) Hello! Here's my story. I've been married to my husband for 6 years and he has been an alcoholic for 8 years. We have two girls together (6 months and 3 1/2). Last month he showed up to work still drunk (he blew .13 after 6 hours of sleep) and his work agreed to hold his job for him while he did inpatient r...	MommyM	6	606	Aug 29, 2008 by Peggy7
	The rewards of patience (Preview) I am now on week 2 of my Human Relations class and my Microcomputer Aps class, and just got my text books/software this past Monday. My microcomputer aps instructor is also the chair of the computer training department, so she is a very busy lady, working full-time for the college, married and with two...	Tenderheartsks	3	883	Aug 29, 2008 by Peggy7
	Unhealthy Coping? (Preview) Do you think it is okay to tell yourself that maybe SOMEDAY you will be together? I tell myself this sometimes so that I can detach for today that while we can't be together today, maybe the HP will work it out that SOMEDAY we will both be healthy enough to make it work....	Codependent	5	440	Aug 29, 2008 by maresie
	Putting the slogans into action (Preview) Putting the slogans into action I must accept something I can not change and have no control over.. Let Go and let God slogan is releasing my troubles to my HP (God) once I was aware of the situation Putting in action my program using slogans daily to keep me focused ,even at times I go off into space (for sa...	angel123	2	670	Aug 29, 2008 by Peggy7
	I am proud of myself! (Preview) I have not been on this site for awhile. I do try and catch up on all the readings when I can. I have shared before problems with my son and DIL. That seems to be doing OK--in fact tonite my son called me and we had a nice chat. They would not "talk" to me for over 2 months-I worked my program, prayed...	meagain	4	461	Aug 29, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	hello (Preview) just need to write and vent tonight tough week..and some good..by the end of it...today..my a packed up and moved back to detroit..indefinitely..but right now deffinitely gone the boundaries i put up and just me going to meetings and getting stronger and more clear helped to push this relationship...	charlescharles	4	479	Aug 29, 2008 by maresie
	Responsibility (Preview) As many of you know I used with my A last weekend. While it was his initiation, etc, I feel now a since of responsibility that I used with him- that I somehow condoned it or influenced. I feel like if something spirals out of control now that it might be related to me. Or at least that I am no loner the safe plac...	Codependent	2	598	Aug 29, 2008 by Maria123
	Slowly losing my mind... (Preview) Hi everyone! i've been reading through the posts and have nothing but praise for all of you for your support and loving words to those in need. I'm definitely one of those in need right now... I've been married to my AH for 7 years and am just so tired and weary right now. When I met my AH he was in recovery f...	Kary	10	797	Aug 29, 2008 by Karilynn
	Step One- Accepted Alcoholism as a Disease (Preview) I was reading the previous posts about assigning blame to the alcoholic. I am just now working the first Alanon Step that says that we accept alcoholism as a disease and decide how this effects how we treat the alcoholic. I would like to hear some insight into how this has effected the relationship you h...	Codependent	14	853	Aug 29, 2008 by lmrobinson7
	fear of sleep (Preview) I get lonely. I call friends, I enjoy my own company, I have hp. No matter what I tell myself, I hate going to bed alone and I hate going to bed with AH if drinking but that is rare anyways - when he's home drinking, he passes out on the couch. He travels for work and is gone a lot. I am doing well in so many areas...	ddub	8	828	Aug 29, 2008 by Loupiness
	Al-Anon faces Alcoholism 2009 (Preview) I received my shipment yesterday and this booklet is very good. They did a fantastic job on this one. Three groups here in town took up special collections to order as many copies as we could and ended up with the funds to purchase 1000 copies. Our plan is to take them to doctor's offices, mental healt...	Mobirdie	1	496	Aug 28, 2008 by serendipity
	Enough is enough... (Preview) Hello ((((((((((((((Family)))))))))))))))) Please forgive me for going into self-preservation mode right now. It has been really tough of late and I have been thinking a lot about choices. Whether they be good or bad, and how I have made the choices, the most important thing to realise about choi...	Suzannah	4	725	Aug 28, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Gratitude in pain (Preview) (((Family))) I found myself sad and lonely tonight. These types of nights have been rarer and rarer since finding Al-anon, my voice, your experiences, strenghts and hopes, and the love in the company that I keep here and at my Home Family Group. Physically, I am more than 6000 miles away from my love...	CJ	6	613	Aug 28, 2008 by Maria123
	Meeting one of the Voices in my Head (Preview) ((((Family))))) Just rolled back into town from a weekend AA/Alanon conference. I am so pumped up again.....I really, really needed booster shot of program! And I met someone very, very special to me. When I first came into the program 4 years ago, I went to a conference in Houston, Texas..called t...	david62	11	725	Aug 28, 2008 by Maria123
	Reaching Out... (Preview) I have a lot going on right now and I am trying to keep my program close to me. I am disappointed with a few things in my life right now and feel a bit unsettled about it. I am trying to avoid my normal tendency of getting anxious. I hate the physical side...I get this uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my s...	Leetle	8	653	Aug 28, 2008 by Maria123
	hit the nail on the head (Preview) I heard these words in a meeting. "The love I give is equal to the love I expect" Truer words were never spoken. I pull away from emotional intimacy with those who are closest to me. Because, I am ashamed of who I've been in the past. I'm ashamed of my continued self imposed islation from life be...	seekingserenity	5	486	Aug 28, 2008 by Maria123
	My 40th birthday was yesterday and my dog passed away... (Preview) Where do I begin? Yesterday was Tuesday, she seemed fine on Sunday, maybe a little tired from being at the kennel which is normal for her. But Monday she was still lathargic and not wanting to go outside, drinking water but not eating. By the evening she was more lathargic and was having seizures that wo...	wildthang86	13	781	Aug 28, 2008 by Maria123
	Guilt trips and Let downs (Preview) So the other night my mom called and said she was too tired to watch my son for my meeting. She then kept asking me if I would take him with me, as it would be too late, etc. Tries to guilt trip me. I did not answer her and did not answer the phone after that. I did take my son to the meeting as I needed a meet...	mslouise	3	645	Aug 28, 2008 by maresie
	Sometimes being the scapegoat stings... (Preview) Many years ago, my oldest AD went into an adolescent treatment unit due to chronic rage issues and other behavior that had escalated. She had just graduated 8th grade. We had family nights and family sessions, and at one point, I asked my parents if they would like to come for a family counseling sessio...	Tenderheartsks	3	1759	Aug 28, 2008 by maresie
	Who's fault is it anyway?? (Preview) Part of my anger problem with alcoholism, is the question of fault. It's the A's choice to drink but not their fault. The consequences of their actions is felt by everyone around them, but it's not their fault. If they get in the car drunk and kill someone, the fault lies on them in the eyes of the cour...	olg1213	12	657	Aug 28, 2008 by liljeannie
	how to detach from unkept commitments (Preview) I'm new to AlAnon, and I'm learning every day about how ALL the relationships in my family are screwed up. My 15 year old daughter has a pattern of making specific commitments to me and then not keeping them. So I've checked up on her... nagged her... managed her life for her. For a tiny example, she's ta...	Jen57	3	571	Aug 28, 2008 by maresie
	somebody stop me!!!!!!!!! (Preview) I am sitting at my desk seething. My manager is someone that was a friend of mine before I started working here. She is my sister's best friend. I have been here for going on 12 years and most of the time it is great. I love my job but am getting fed up with the way she runs the office. Over the years the power has...	Gailey	11	707	Aug 28, 2008 by lilms
	NEW HERE AND NEED ADVICE FROM RECOVERING PEOPLE (Preview) Need advice, so I thank you in advance. Have a family member (brother in law) who is an alcoholic. Actually several of them are. My husband is a Sober man- does not drink and helpless in this matter. His mother recently died & the brother of my husband is now homeless (actually in the next few day...	MommaMia14	7	1071	Aug 28, 2008 by RLC
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.