The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Where do I begin? Yesterday was Tuesday, she seemed fine on Sunday, maybe a little tired from being at the kennel which is normal for her. But Monday she was still lathargic and not wanting to go outside, drinking water but not eating. By the evening she was more lathargic and was having seizures that wouldn't stop. I took her to the Vet E/R and they evaluated her. She had a HUGE tumor in her abdomen, they couldn't tell if it was attached to her liver or spleen but surgery seemed the best option but they needed to stabilize her. IV fluid, pain meds, blood work, fine do what ever needs to be done, JUST SAVE HER!!! We had to leave her over night. At 6 in the mornig on Tuesday the Dr. called me to say that she was failing, her liver was going, her kidneys, her bolood was not clotting and she didn't have long. I called my AH to tell him we needed to get there ASAP. We met at the hospital and we visited with her, with our youngest son too. We wanted a 2nd opinion, just like you would if it were yourself. So they brought in an internist. We discussed doing a blood transfusion to get her stronger for surgery and then doing an ultrasound to see what organ this tumor was attached to, not even knowing if it was malignant or not. They brought her to us on a gernie hooked up to her IV fluids and pain meds. She was just laying there, looking around and trying to find her Daddy when he would speak. (He has been out of our home since April and she missed him!) It broke my heart. The she stared having a serious seizure and was crying out and then it stopped and her eyes rolled back, the Dr. said it was what happened when dogs had bad seizures. We tried to get her attention back, she did seem to come back for a bit when she her a little dog barking, she sat up and looked around but then laid back down. Then it looked like she was having another siezure, but now I believe that she was actually going into cardiac arrest. We had just told the Dr. we were going to go outside and discuss the DNR and that we wanted them to do surgery and prep her in whatever way they needed to. So they were already to take her back when this happened. While we were outside, the Dr. came out and we walked up to him and he said do you want us to resucitate(sp) her and I said YES!!! He told us she was in cardiac arrest and they were doing CPR on her already. He ran back in and we walked in knowing we were going to see her before she went into surgery or at least sit with her while she got the tranfusion. We told them we were waiting to see the surgeon, they went back to tell him and then they excorted us to a room. Like they had been doing anytime we needed to talk to the Dr.. He came in and told us that she had passed. We all broke down, my son just had this horrible out cry I had never heard before. The pain was so deep! It is deep. We asked if we could see her and they let us go back and see her. My son again had that horrendous cry and the people back there thought he was going to pass out, so did I. Heck I though I was going to pass out when I saw that beautiful little baby laying there still. Then we had to tell our other son, who is away at school that "his" dog had just died. We had told him about her condition and we wanted him in on the decisions to be made for her. She was a gift to him for Christmas of 2000. We actually got her when she was only 4 weeks old because the people who had here did not want her because she was the "runt". We knew she was coming but we thought we would get her at the usual 6 weeks. But whatever, we took her and I nursed her with a baby bottle and formula. No big deal, I wasn't going to let them do anything to her, even though I didn't know her yet!! In our family we refer to our pets as, daughter, son, sister, brother etc.. We have always done that and that is how they are treated. So back to my son. His school is 2 hours away. We were supposed to update him, because we were going to have surgery done, so he started calling us and we didn't answer. My AH reached him and my son asked, "what were they saying?", my AH told him, "they said it doesn't look good. Mommy and I are coming to get you. I love you!", "I love you too." Click. I had an idea that he already knew but we didn't want him to be alone and we wanted him to see her before she was cremated. We got there to pick him up and we told him. He broke down, crushing blow to the heart for him!! This was to be his second day of college classes. (Side note:If you have read my other posts you will understand how difficult a time this kid has had in recent months and being at college and living on campus was HUGE!) We cried, we talked about her, we cried more, as we drove to the hospital so he could say good bye to her, his dog! I am crying now just reviewing this with you all. We have another dog, who is 7 months older than her, they had never been seperated from one another since we had brough her home. By the way, her name was Nala "Shay". She reminded me of Nala from the LION KING movie. My other dog is Deja. She is having a hard time, not knowing where her sister is. I had to put her in the basement so I could get Shay out of the house to get her to the hospital. She was pacing around her and trying to figure out what was wrong with her. The same thing she has done with all of us when we were sick or unhappy. She is our caregiver. Deja is a great big, lap, rottweiler. She thinks she is the size of a lap dog and feels like that is where she should be. Shay on the other hand always stepped aside so Deja could always be first to get attention. Shay was a true ray of sunshine and so funny, she played witht he cats (gently), the cats rubbed on her and licked her. She was a HUGE part of our family and we miss her like crazy. We will get her back next week and I already have a place set up for her on my mantle with all of my angel figurines. I have quite a few that were gifts to me while I was in the battle for my life with my brain cancer. (Which was a tumor that I had removed,of all things for her to have) Although I still have cancer and will have for the rest of my life, I beat it for now. Wow! What a birthday huh? I don't know where the strength is coming from to deal with this sorrow and heart break. My faith in my HP is intact and strong. He knows better that I. My son is back at school actually they are both in school today. My AH is at work and I am home. I actually upped my dosage of anti depressant and will keep it up for awhile. I really needed to get this out and I appreciate anyone who has gotten this far in the reading of my post. Thank you for reading!!!
My heart truly goes out to you. I also have 2 dogs and they mean the world to me and my kids. We have been though the loss of dog before and it was horendous! They are like family members. My youngest took it the worst and to this day has a picture of himself and our beloved dog hanging in his room. Its been several years since he passed away suddenly and to this day we all still talk about him.
Youre in my thoughts, I know how devastating it is to lose a 'family member'
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Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want, doesn't mean that they don't love you the best way they know how
My deepest sympathies... I understand completely, the terrible pain of losing a pet.
As far as your birthday, I personally celebrate your presence on this earth... especially for the being a wonderful animal lover. May the love and care that you've given, be returned to you a million times over. ((((hugs))))
-- Edited by glad lee at 11:30, 2008-08-27
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
I am so very very sorry for your loss, and I know how badly that hurts.
I lost my pitbull mix last year shortly after she turned 5. For whatever reason her liver had started to fail, and my vet faxed all the lab results to a wonderful 24 hour clinic and I drove like mad all the way there. Numerous tests were run, including a sonogram, but she went downhill rapidly. She too was having seizures.
Dogs do grieve the loss of their canine companions, just as we do. Give your other girl time to heal. The rest of my crew was very somber for a week or so, and my greyhound, who was closest to my pitbull girl was very depressed for over two weeks.
(((((hugs)))))
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"If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
I am so sorry for your loss. I have two dogs and a cat and they are the rock of my life. I could not imagine life without them. One of my cats died very suddenly in February and it is still hard to assimilate. I am so glad that your family could be together to say goodbye.
(((Michelle))) I am truly sorry for your loss. Only those with animals that love animals can completely understand your loss. I lost my Black Lab Sadie one month ago the very same way you loss your Shay, liver problems. It is the unconditional love they give us that is priceless.
I am sad for you. If I could offer you any comfort it would be to do what I do. Think of all the good times, and happiness Shay brought you over the years. You have a thousand memories and I bet they are all good, so as you grieve, try to remember all those good times because no one can take them away.
One more thing I would suggest is to Google "grieving dogs". I also have a younger Lab, and when I loss Sadie I read on several sites the do's and don'ts because they grieve just as we do. You will find some good and important information that will help you and Deja. (((HUGS))) RLC
oh I am so sad for you and know all too well that hurting in your tummy.
I can tell you are a passionate animal lover. This part of loving anything alive is the hardest. You were very brave to go thru all you did for your sweet one.
All you can do now is keep busy, cry if you need to, rest, take care of you.And I tell ya from experience, that honestly surprised me, we cannot take the place but for some it helps to fill the space. A puppy can do wonders for you. And is a tribute to how much your passed on one meant to you.
I just lost a dear animal family member. Burying him was very hard. My puppy I already had adopted is helping me so much.
Oh I so understand what you are going through. I nearly lost Pipers. After loosing my beloved Tim, the thought of loosing her would have put me over the edge. Animals are the rocks of our lives. Pipers still misses her Dadders very much. They don't ask much of us, and give us more than we know in return.
My deepest sympathies to your entire family on your loss. Hold your other "babies" close. They need you too. Love and blessings to you and your family.
Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
((WT)) I'm so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful life you gave this special dog. I truly believe they are sent here to show us unconditional love in it's purest form. What better gift could you have received, then to know it's time of suffering is over. I do believe in doggie heaven.
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Without this board I don't know what I would do. My family is too raw to talk about her right now, although we do have our sessions of remembering her shenanigans. She is here in our home with us, we all feel it. My AH may be moving back home this weekend. It has hit him especially hard because he hadn't seen her for about 5 months and then the first time he sees her she is dieing but he seems to be dealing with it. I am so wrapped up in my own grief, I have to work really hard to pull myself out and try to help my other pets and kids. I never realized how big my house is, her personality took up a lot of space. I was trying to post a picture on here of her but that hasn't worked for me yet. I will keep trying. Thank you all again!! I love you ALL!!!
