Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

beacheemom · beacheemom

ughh... is it possible to actually be in love with an A? I pray about this quite often. I feel so much resentment towards my AH that I don't see how I could ever truly and unconditionally love him as long as he stays this way. My resentment is really bad. I'm so bitter deep inside at him. I may sound so cold as I...

silver brumby · silver brumby

Hi Guys! I saw my ah today, we have been separated for about 4 months. After 3 and a half months of blustering and threatening he is now entering his sad phase. Though it is very real to him and I have empathy for his deluded mentality, at the same time, I am so glad that finally I can see the "game"...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Today is a pretty good day. I am pondering where my life is going right now. My AH and I seem to be closer than we have been in years. He is still drinking but that's his business and not mine. He did go to an AA meeting the other day. Why? I am not exactly sure yet. Well, no, he did say it was because things were go...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Hey folks, I thought I heard someone on the board use a slogan that went something like this: pray on it, stay on it, (and something else that I don't remember). Does anyone know what I am talking about? If so, could you post the slogan? Thanks so much!

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been thinking a lot about my BF lately and his effect on my kids. The oldest says she hates him regularly but she hates everyone right now. I have come to the conclusion that she wants her mom, all of me, all the time no matter how much she says she hates me and he takes up some of that time. My middle d...

Inpain · Inpain

My new al-anon friend invited us over to her place for a bbq. She's letting me bring my 3 rugrats so that will be good as we can't really afford a babysitter. Her fiance sounds great and she told me he has a mini-cooper. My husband will be psyched. He's an "old car" kinda guy and new situatio...

Jozie · Jozie

OK, This is how my day has gone so far... Got Up EARLY to get Blood work done... "Yeah Me", get shower, get hair done, face on, husband up, boy up, out the door, get there OK, go in, they tell me that since "they" desided to check Something ELSE, that My Fasting 8 Hours was not good enou...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I wondeer what he'd do with ALCOHOL CONTROL legislation.... I watched as your president Obama signed the most recent Tobacco Control legislation and started to wonder....I wonder what he would do with Alcohol Legislation. As a member of the Al-Anon Family Groups I cannot and will not represent m...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Hello family- This may be off topic and if it is inappropriate for this forum, please feel free to let me know!!! I am wondering if anyone would care to be part of a Gratitude Group by which you exchange emails with members who are also in recovery programs, just basically sharing your daily gratitude. I...

Rachel262612 · Rachel262612

ok, I am new to this, very very new, with lots to learn, even though that it kind of makes me mad that i need to learn anything, that I even need to heel. Still angers me, but it makes me feel better at the same time, weird hugh. anyways, my A hasn't drank in two days, yay. This will be third, I have detached fro...

heatherranki · heatherranki

My husband is an acoa. His dad is a dry drunk - went to AA but not working the program as he "is in control". In all the many years I have been reading AA, Al-anon, and ACOA literature, I have yet to find something that will help me understand how ACOAs view their world. I have been to al-anon, b...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have had issues with my job but have stayed in it because it's "comfortable" meaning I can do other stuff as there's not that much to do here and nobody is breathing down my neck or bothering me. There are some things that are very disturbing to me and I tolerate them for a 4 day work week. I'm...

xter · xter

although i have been extremely miserable and depressed for the past few months before i started going to f2f meetings and coming here, i have to say: i am grateful today that this program has allowed me to gain a piece of myself back from alcoholism. thanks to everyone on this board for their posts. i re...

Codependent · Codependent

As I recently posted I have sorta been seeing this guy- when I say seeing I mean hanging out some- going out on the lake and for drinks and to his house. He showers me with compliments and tells me how great and pretty I am. He texts me throughout the day, but usually sends me a text around 8 or so when he gets...

Bella333 · Bella333

This is my first time posting a new topic. My pain has motivated me to ask someone to sponsor me and to start doing the steps. I need and deserve a better life. I am scared but I am taking the next right action with the help of my HP. I love the alcoholic in my life. But I know if I don't change I will end up hating h...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

when i used to get tired in the program, i would work *harder* to make sure that at my tiredness and weakness i was *protected*.....now, i REST...i know that in my mind, in the quiet, while resting in my HP, i can still work my program.... i felt that if i wasn't working it 24/7, i was opening the door for the...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Ever since my husband got a DUI with our son in the vehicle in February, I've been the one driving my son around. My husband isn't allowed (by law) to drive the SUV he was driving when he got his DUI because it was impounded and released to me (since that's the vehicle with the car seat and I always use i...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

My father didn't like his father's day gift. It's a book called "Two Minutes to Glory: The Official History of the Kentucky Derby." He says he'll read it when "he gets around to it." When I come to visit him and "read it with him." What I'm feeling is what I felt whe...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hi Family, It may seem a really odd question to ask however I ask it all the same. Is stepping back the same as detaching? I have found myself looking closely at how I manage relationships of late and wondering why I do certain things, how I react to other peoples needs and the responses I make before asse...

beacheemom · beacheemom

I have to make this quick, but will back on later tonight. As stated, I feel so unsure about my husband's drinking. We have been married for 15 years, and have had some struggles, overcame most of them, but one seems like it will never go away and that is his drinking. His drink of choice is beer and has bee...

Star82 · Star82

Hello. This is my first posting. I wanted to see if anyone out there has gone through anything similar or even has some words of advice. My ABF is for the most part a wonderful and loving man. He is totally sober and faithfully goes to his meetings. We have been fighting lately and I am struggling to un...

clara · clara

Adaughter called this morning. Her divorce has been final for 6 days exactly and her ex hubbie is already going back on his word as to what he would agree to do for her. Remember I offered to get an attorney for her and she said "Oh no. He is a good man and will not go back on his word". Well, gues...

Inpain · Inpain

I'm making a bit of progress (I think) - I didn't even realize it until two days ago. I feel that one moment I can be "fine" and the next totally out of control. I see it as progress as I was usually ALWAYS out of control... My DH is a dry drunk. When all the shit hit the fan in our marriage, *I* bou...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I am so excited it's hard to sit still. Quite sometime ago I sent an article in to "The Forum" for consideration of printing. Today I received three copies of the July 2009 issue. The title to my article (Mother recognizes detachment as key to son's recovery) is on the front cover of the m...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband has been talking on the phone (to his family, his friends, etc.) and I will overhear him say things like "relapse" or "slip" whenever he mentions his drinking being out of control these days. It makes me so mad because he's still drinking EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!! How...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

All the Al-Anon literature and meetings, we're told to support and not yell or criticize the alcoholic because it is a disease. I understand all that. BUT, how do you just "tenderly" accept all the lies, coming home late, lack of support, DWI and relapses for years. How can you possibly...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

Hey all I think I have "over done" it a bit lately posting like crazy on the boards...this one and 2 others and ALSO I am working a very intense step 4 and I think it is "info overload" for me.....I am tired!!! Back has been bad for a while now, thank goodness it appears to be healing,...

odaat · odaat

I have been on the roller coaster from h*** for quite some time now. Eight days ago I asked my AH to pack and go since he refused to see his alcohol addiction was hurting the entire family. For the first time in a long time I felt sane and happy again. He called the next morning to inform me he was checking h...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Well, after another day of the drama that ensues with drinking, I have finally reached my limit. I'm DONE. I can't do this any more. I just can't take the repetitive lecture, innuendo and outright insults to me, my character and my background any longer. I called a trusted friend who has 15+ years...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I calmed myself down and got to remembering how wonderful I am and relaxed about meeting the parents as I know they're going to think whatever they're going to think and me being nervous isn't going to help anything. My BF said the magic words... it doesn't matter if they like you or not it only matters...

debilyn · debilyn

Was just thinking,"ok what makes MIP so important now?" A is gone. No other A's in my life. My AH is on my mind and in my heart every day. Many days I think of calling him. I believe if I did not come here, his disease would still control me. I would be analyzing him, asking him to come out here for aw...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I had forgotten that I still had the text for the article on my computer. I made the corrections so that my copy will match theirs. They do say in the instructions that they might alter the copy a bit for publication. It will be in the July 2009 issue.EnjoyBarbMother recognizes detachment as key to so...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

One of my favorite meetings is on Wednesday nights. We had a newcomer recently (she's been there a few times), and there's just something "not right" about her. She always seems very depressed and quite often says that she's an alcoholic (but also that her whole family are alcoholics)....

Mik · Mik

I have become my own worst enemy, a person possessed, on the brink of a total emotional collapse. As much a I seek to calm my fears, insecurities, anger, and letting go, I seem to have these moments of complete insanity and I do things only to think about the consequences of my actions when it's too late. I...

Christy · Christy

For several months I've been dealing with some "stuff", so much that I haven't even wanted to share much of it. Ever been to the point that it's so much you don't want to talk or think about it anymore? I'm still there but I've been constantly grateful for the use of Alanon tools through...

Temple · Temple

I was reading the quote about "I can throw a fit; I can throw all the dishes," and I remembered a time decades ago when AH (and I didn't even realize it then) peeved me off, so to speak, one morning as I was unloading the dishes. He had broken a parfait glass that had been a wedding present and I w...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, I am just so worried about my daughter and the choices she is making with guys.....She was with her daughters father they broke up because he did not treat her well....She finally listened to me..... However, now she is with another guy, at first, he seemed to have it together now I am not...

countrygirl84 · countrygirl84

I'm not really sure where to start in here. A few months ago, I met an amazing wonderful guy and found out soon into it that he was a recovering alcoholic. He was very open and honest about it and I thought it would be no big deal because he was handling it. I am a very non-addictive person - never smoked and ra...

Christy · Christy

This movie is a free download. You will hear some tidbits of "recovery speak", as Dr. Dyer was once an alcoholic. It's very inspiring. He speaks of the knowing within us and trusting in ourselves and much much more. There are several different stories going on simultaniously. All ar...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

My sponsor and I were talking, b4 we broke up and we discussed marriage and love......She had been married multiple times...I was a two time divorcee....We wondered WHAT really is the essence of happiness...Does a woman or man *have* to be married in order to feel whole????? I used to think so.... I u...

Overcome · Overcome

My ex-husband made some very poor choices when we were going through our divorce in 2004. It caused him to have to see his only daughter under only supervised visitation conditions ever since. My ex-husband is the ACOA father, who physically, mentally, verbably, spiritually and sexually abused hi...

weary · weary

I need to know what constitutes an alcoholic? That may sound a bit strange but I just feel so confused by my husbands behavior. Is there a spectrum of alcholisim? Can someone be a bigger alcholic than another? My husband drinks on average 3 times a week. He always does it when he is golfing. The bi...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Just wanted to give a little update with how it worked out on setting the boundaries with my boyfriend. He has done every single one of the things that I laid out. I am meeting his dad and step mom this weekend and he has already told them about us. He got tested for std's. I have been slipping on the con...

david62 · david62

Hi FamilyI was thinking about change last night. I read a share from someone in another group about the way streams sometimes meander out of their beds and alter their paths. As I was reading it, I was reminded of something my sponsor...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I'm finally meeting the boyfriend's parents after 5 months of dating and am sort of beating myself up a little bit. I am full of reasons that they are going to hate me, I'm fat, I'm old, I have a bunch of kids, I'm liberal and they are very conservative, they are religious and I'm not, he deserves better...

java · java

Katy's topic heading triggered me to write this post. Isn't it funny how the program works. David's post triggered Katy's post which triggered mine! Anyway, the reason for this post is my A and I are back together at least at some level. I haven't filed for divorce and am not going to right now. Just fo...

jojo38 · jojo38

first of all i would like to say hello to everyone on here and this is my first post. my story goes like this, please be patient in reading as it may go on for a while. i was once in a long term relationship of 15 yrs with my ex from whom i have 2 beautiful grown up children, i have since moved out of that relations...

needaway · needaway

This is my first proper post. I need to vent As it is fathers day, I invited my AB up for a meal with me and our son. When I asked him to come up, he said as long as we can eat at 1pm. I said it would probably be nearer 2pm as my mother would be going to church and 1pm would be too early for her. He said fine as long as he...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello and Hugs All, It truely amazes me how there is no escaping addiction. Everyone connected to my A hubby is some sort of addict. Today, going to take care of me, I hit a detor. My hubby was at the lumber yard getting supplies to repair our fence. His little brother called him and asked to come over....

xter · xter

since i've started reading and posting here, i've been humbled and moved quite a bit. i am grateful to each of you for being open and honest and caring. each day, i learn something new about this disease and how it's affected me. each day i have to give something new up to HP (a concept i'm still trying t...

RLC · RLC

Happy Fathers Day to all the fathers of MIP, and all the mothers who serve both roles. I can relate to serving both roles, as I was a Mr. Mom from the time my daughter was 12 and and son 8. I used to kid and say I ran my business all day, came home took off my pants, put on my panties and was Mr. Mom. But, I would n...

Rachel262612 · Rachel262612

hello everyone, it is great to see that I am not alone, long story short, I am married to a wonderul man who loves me more than life itself, but he is a functioning alcoholic, for eight years, it is always one drunk night to the next, the promises, the I will get help lines, the begging and pleading for m...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL THE WONDERFUL FATHERS OUT THERE. PLEASE GIVE YOUR KIDS AN EXTRA HUG TODAY!!!!!!!!!!! HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY... ANDREA

Lanchas · Lanchas

It's stupid! I went to do laundry today and there was a small bottle of vodka and two flight bottles of flavored vodka. I took them out and put them in a bag nearby. I found out later that my dad took them out of my mom's purse and hid them there! It's stupid. My mom hides her drinking and my dad (who is also an al...

holdhands · holdhands

Tonight, for the first time, I started reading "How Al-Anon Works: for Families & Friends of Alcoholics". My grandmother sent it to me years ago and has been gently urging me ever since to give it a try. It wasn't until now, in a fit of heaving sobs, that I did. I started reading and on sixt...

amylynn67 · amylynn67

I realize that this board if for support and not to give direct advice but i would appreciated some direction on some specific situations while I learn.... ADH has as 20+ history drinking and been "sober" for 3 years (with about 5 one night slips during that time). We dated as teenagers an...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family)))) Tomorrow is Father's Day here in the States. I won't have the chance to post this tomorrow so I am getting a jump on it today. May I extend a very HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all the Dads and Grandpas here. To the Moms who also have to play the role of father this also extends to...

Overcome · Overcome

I have been in this forum since 2004 and have always been known as Java, because of a mistake on my part when signing up on the message board. When asked what my user name was, I confused that with "server name" and put Java! lol I never could figure out how to change it so it's always been Java in h...

Rora · Rora

I can't believe it... I am learning! I used to be so obsessed with my aH, so much so, that it really didn't matter if he was making good choices, or not so good (by my moral and ethical code) that I could always find a problem in laying somewhere. I was "insane" with that. I am learning. And I am g...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

In the last week I have found moments of serenity which I haven't really had much lately! I have been stressing out of everything up until the last few days. My life is still crazy, though. In the past two months my husband has been dealing with the loss of his brother as I mentioned before. Right now we...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	It's so hard to love this person (Preview) ughh... is it possible to actually be in love with an A? I pray about this quite often. I feel so much resentment towards my AH that I don't see how I could ever truly and unconditionally love him as long as he stays this way. My resentment is really bad. I'm so bitter deep inside at him. I may sound so cold as I...	beacheemom	11	837	Jun 25, 2009 by carolinagirl
	He is in his pit- ALONE! (Preview) Hi Guys! I saw my ah today, we have been separated for about 4 months. After 3 and a half months of blustering and threatening he is now entering his sad phase. Though it is very real to him and I have empathy for his deluded mentality, at the same time, I am so glad that finally I can see the "game"...	silver brumby	4	664	Jun 25, 2009 by debilyn
	What if he stops drinking, what do I do then?! (Preview) Today is a pretty good day. I am pondering where my life is going right now. My AH and I seem to be closer than we have been in years. He is still drinking but that's his business and not mine. He did go to an AA meeting the other day. Why? I am not exactly sure yet. Well, no, he did say it was because things were go...	wildthang86	3	904	Jun 25, 2009 by RLC
	SLOGAN SEARCH...Does anyone know... (Preview) Hey folks, I thought I heard someone on the board use a slogan that went something like this: pray on it, stay on it, (and something else that I don't remember). Does anyone know what I am talking about? If so, could you post the slogan? Thanks so much!	BlueCloud	1	468	Jun 25, 2009 by shellyj123
	It's the little things (Preview) I have been thinking a lot about my BF lately and his effect on my kids. The oldest says she hates him regularly but she hates everyone right now. I have come to the conclusion that she wants her mom, all of me, all the time no matter how much she says she hates me and he takes up some of that time. My middle d...	carolinagirl	1	664	Jun 25, 2009 by wildthang86
	Looking forward to this weekend (Preview) My new al-anon friend invited us over to her place for a bbq. She's letting me bring my 3 rugrats so that will be good as we can't really afford a babysitter. Her fiance sounds great and she told me he has a mini-cooper. My husband will be psyched. He's an "old car" kinda guy and new situatio...	Inpain	4	776	Jun 25, 2009 by blender_girl
	What a Day .... :( (Preview) OK, This is how my day has gone so far... Got Up EARLY to get Blood work done... "Yeah Me", get shower, get hair done, face on, husband up, boy up, out the door, get there OK, go in, they tell me that since "they" desided to check Something ELSE, that My Fasting 8 Hours was not good enou...	Jozie	4	962	Jun 24, 2009 by debilyn
	uuuummmm He signed that legislation (Preview) I wondeer what he'd do with ALCOHOL CONTROL legislation.... I watched as your president Obama signed the most recent Tobacco Control legislation and started to wonder....I wonder what he would do with Alcohol Legislation. As a member of the Al-Anon Family Groups I cannot and will not represent m...	Jerry F	12	931	Jun 24, 2009 by Aloha
	Gratitude Lists (Preview) Hello family- This may be off topic and if it is inappropriate for this forum, please feel free to let me know!!! I am wondering if anyone would care to be part of a Gratitude Group by which you exchange emails with members who are also in recovery programs, just basically sharing your daily gratitude. I...	RunnerChick	3	827	Jun 24, 2009 by rosielightshines
	newbie with new news (Preview) ok, I am new to this, very very new, with lots to learn, even though that it kind of makes me mad that i need to learn anything, that I even need to heel. Still angers me, but it makes me feel better at the same time, weird hugh. anyways, my A hasn't drank in two days, yay. This will be third, I have detached fro...	Rachel262612	4	764	Jun 24, 2009 by Rachel262612
	acoas and alcoholics - similar behaviors? help? (Preview) My husband is an acoa. His dad is a dry drunk - went to AA but not working the program as he "is in control". In all the many years I have been reading AA, Al-anon, and ACOA literature, I have yet to find something that will help me understand how ACOAs view their world. I have been to al-anon, b...	heatherranki	8	958	Jun 24, 2009 by heatherranki
	I HATE MY JOB!!! (Preview) I have had issues with my job but have stayed in it because it's "comfortable" meaning I can do other stuff as there's not that much to do here and nobody is breathing down my neck or bothering me. There are some things that are very disturbing to me and I tolerate them for a 4 day work week. I'm...	carolinagirl	6	878	Jun 24, 2009 by Jean4444
	a little gratitude (Preview) although i have been extremely miserable and depressed for the past few months before i started going to f2f meetings and coming here, i have to say: i am grateful today that this program has allowed me to gain a piece of myself back from alcoholism. thanks to everyone on this board for their posts. i re...	xter	2	638	Jun 23, 2009 by rosielightshines
	"Not into you" versus "Insecurity" (Preview) As I recently posted I have sorta been seeing this guy- when I say seeing I mean hanging out some- going out on the lake and for drinks and to his house. He showers me with compliments and tells me how great and pretty I am. He texts me throughout the day, but usually sends me a text around 8 or so when he gets...	Codependent	10	1244	Jun 23, 2009 by Codependent
	Putting the focus back on ourselves (Preview) This is my first time posting a new topic. My pain has motivated me to ask someone to sponsor me and to start doing the steps. I need and deserve a better life. I am scared but I am taking the next right action with the help of my HP. I love the alcoholic in my life. But I know if I don't change I will end up hating h...	Bella333	7	1749	Jun 23, 2009 by Bella333
	working my program even when resting (Preview) when i used to get tired in the program, i would work harder to make sure that at my tiredness and weakness i was protected.....now, i REST...i know that in my mind, in the quiet, while resting in my HP, i can still work my program.... i felt that if i wasn't working it 24/7, i was opening the door for the...	rosielightshines	4	833	Jun 23, 2009 by debilyn
	Husband wants to drive son around (Preview) Ever since my husband got a DUI with our son in the vehicle in February, I've been the one driving my son around. My husband isn't allowed (by law) to drive the SUV he was driving when he got his DUI because it was impounded and released to me (since that's the vehicle with the car seat and I always use i...	N8SMOM	10	1021	Jun 23, 2009 by kitty
	My dad didn't like his father's day gift (Preview) My father didn't like his father's day gift. It's a book called "Two Minutes to Glory: The Official History of the Kentucky Derby." He says he'll read it when "he gets around to it." When I come to visit him and "read it with him." What I'm feeling is what I felt whe...	Tiger2006	9	738	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	Is stepping back the same as detaching? (Preview) Hi Family, It may seem a really odd question to ask however I ask it all the same. Is stepping back the same as detaching? I have found myself looking closely at how I manage relationships of late and wondering why I do certain things, how I react to other peoples needs and the responses I make before asse...	Suzannah	7	989	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	first time here, and feel lost and unsure- asking for some guidance please (Preview) I have to make this quick, but will back on later tonight. As stated, I feel so unsure about my husband's drinking. We have been married for 15 years, and have had some struggles, overcame most of them, but one seems like it will never go away and that is his drinking. His drink of choice is beer and has bee...	beacheemom	10	1100	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	Struggling to understanding 4 yr sober ABF (Preview) Hello. This is my first posting. I wanted to see if anyone out there has gone through anything similar or even has some words of advice. My ABF is for the most part a wonderful and loving man. He is totally sober and faithfully goes to his meetings. We have been fighting lately and I am struggling to un...	Star82	6	773	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	Daughter called today, I told her "I told you so"!!!! (Preview) Adaughter called this morning. Her divorce has been final for 6 days exactly and her ex hubbie is already going back on his word as to what he would agree to do for her. Remember I offered to get an attorney for her and she said "Oh no. He is a good man and will not go back on his word". Well, gues...	clara	7	815	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	Sort of proud of myself (Preview) I'm making a bit of progress (I think) - I didn't even realize it until two days ago. I feel that one moment I can be "fine" and the next totally out of control. I see it as progress as I was usually ALWAYS out of control... My DH is a dry drunk. When all the shit hit the fan in our marriage, I bou...	Inpain	3	710	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	I've been published (Preview) I am so excited it's hard to sit still. Quite sometime ago I sent an article in to "The Forum" for consideration of printing. Today I received three copies of the July 2009 issue. The title to my article (Mother recognizes detachment as key to son's recovery) is on the front cover of the m...	Mobirdie	15	901	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	So Annoying (Preview) My husband has been talking on the phone (to his family, his friends, etc.) and I will overhear him say things like "relapse" or "slip" whenever he mentions his drinking being out of control these days. It makes me so mad because he's still drinking EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!! How...	N8SMOM	6	943	Jun 23, 2009 by glad lee
	How do I support when I feel so angry? (Preview) All the Al-Anon literature and meetings, we're told to support and not yell or criticize the alcoholic because it is a disease. I understand all that. BUT, how do you just "tenderly" accept all the lies, coming home late, lack of support, DWI and relapses for years. How can you possibly...	wifeofalcoholic	12	928	Jun 23, 2009 by wifeofalcoholic
	I'm a bit "burned out" (Preview) Hey all I think I have "over done" it a bit lately posting like crazy on the boards...this one and 2 others and ALSO I am working a very intense step 4 and I think it is "info overload" for me.....I am tired!!! Back has been bad for a while now, thank goodness it appears to be healing,...	rosielightshines	3	823	Jun 23, 2009 by Temple
	Feeling Proud Of My AH Today!! (Preview) I have been on the roller coaster from h*** for quite some time now. Eight days ago I asked my AH to pack and go since he refused to see his alcohol addiction was hurting the entire family. For the first time in a long time I felt sane and happy again. He called the next morning to inform me he was checking h...	odaat	4	755	Jun 23, 2009 by odaat
	Stick a fork in me, I'm DONE (Preview) Well, after another day of the drama that ensues with drinking, I have finally reached my limit. I'm DONE. I can't do this any more. I just can't take the repetitive lecture, innuendo and outright insults to me, my character and my background any longer. I called a trusted friend who has 15+ years...	blender_girl	3	756	Jun 23, 2009 by Melissa21
	Update (Preview) I calmed myself down and got to remembering how wonderful I am and relaxed about meeting the parents as I know they're going to think whatever they're going to think and me being nervous isn't going to help anything. My BF said the magic words... it doesn't matter if they like you or not it only matters...	carolinagirl	4	782	Jun 23, 2009 by Karilynn
	Wthout Al Anon (Preview) Was just thinking,"ok what makes MIP so important now?" A is gone. No other A's in my life. My AH is on my mind and in my heart every day. Many days I think of calling him. I believe if I did not come here, his disease would still control me. I would be analyzing him, asking him to come out here for aw...	debilyn	5	765	Jun 22, 2009 by RunnerChick
	Forum Article (Preview) I had forgotten that I still had the text for the article on my computer. I made the corrections so that my copy will match theirs. They do say in the instructions that they might alter the copy a bit for publication. It will be in the July 2009 issue.EnjoyBarbMother recognizes detachment as key to so...	Mobirdie	9	1129	Jun 22, 2009 by maire rua
	Problem with a F2F Meeting (Preview) One of my favorite meetings is on Wednesday nights. We had a newcomer recently (she's been there a few times), and there's just something "not right" about her. She always seems very depressed and quite often says that she's an alcoholic (but also that her whole family are alcoholics)....	N8SMOM	10	1009	Jun 22, 2009 by alanonicScotland
	I am my own worst enemy... (Preview) I have become my own worst enemy, a person possessed, on the brink of a total emotional collapse. As much a I seek to calm my fears, insecurities, anger, and letting go, I seem to have these moments of complete insanity and I do things only to think about the consequences of my actions when it's too late. I...	Mik	4	660	Jun 22, 2009 by debilyn
	The wisdom of my Asober husband :) (Preview) For several months I've been dealing with some "stuff", so much that I haven't even wanted to share much of it. Ever been to the point that it's so much you don't want to talk or think about it anymore? I'm still there but I've been constantly grateful for the use of Alanon tools through...	Christy	10	681	Jun 22, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	I remembered a funny. (Preview) I was reading the quote about "I can throw a fit; I can throw all the dishes," and I remembered a time decades ago when AH (and I didn't even realize it then) peeved me off, so to speak, one morning as I was unloading the dishes. He had broken a parfait glass that had been a wedding present and I w...	Temple	6	836	Jun 22, 2009 by Temple
	Daughter trying to replace Father???? (Preview) Hello Friends, I am just so worried about my daughter and the choices she is making with guys.....She was with her daughters father they broke up because he did not treat her well....She finally listened to me..... However, now she is with another guy, at first, he seemed to have it together now I am not...	Andrea12	3	525	Jun 22, 2009 by blender_girl
	At a loss - dating a recovering alcoholic (Preview) I'm not really sure where to start in here. A few months ago, I met an amazing wonderful guy and found out soon into it that he was a recovering alcoholic. He was very open and honest about it and I thought it would be no big deal because he was handling it. I am a very non-addictive person - never smoked and ra...	countrygirl84	18	9470	Jun 22, 2009 by SatoriGirl
	The Shift, Wayne Dyer (Preview) This movie is a free download. You will hear some tidbits of "recovery speak", as Dr. Dyer was once an alcoholic. It's very inspiring. He speaks of the knowing within us and trusting in ourselves and much much more. There are several different stories going on simultaniously. All ar...	Christy	3	4144	Jun 22, 2009 by Christy
	Growing from HALF a woman to WHOLE (Preview) My sponsor and I were talking, b4 we broke up and we discussed marriage and love......She had been married multiple times...I was a two time divorcee....We wondered WHAT really is the essence of happiness...Does a woman or man have to be married in order to feel whole????? I used to think so.... I u...	rosielightshines	2	624	Jun 21, 2009 by xter
	Daughter has to see dad under supervised visitation on Father's Day...sad (Preview) My ex-husband made some very poor choices when we were going through our divorce in 2004. It caused him to have to see his only daughter under only supervised visitation conditions ever since. My ex-husband is the ACOA father, who physically, mentally, verbably, spiritually and sexually abused hi...	Overcome	3	1445	Jun 21, 2009 by RobinSchwalb
	Is there a spectrum of alcoholism? (Preview) I need to know what constitutes an alcoholic? That may sound a bit strange but I just feel so confused by my husbands behavior. Is there a spectrum of alcholisim? Can someone be a bigger alcholic than another? My husband drinks on average 3 times a week. He always does it when he is golfing. The bi...	weary	7	885	Jun 21, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Update on BF (Preview) Just wanted to give a little update with how it worked out on setting the boundaries with my boyfriend. He has done every single one of the things that I laid out. I am meeting his dad and step mom this weekend and he has already told them about us. He got tested for std's. I have been slipping on the con...	carolinagirl	6	872	Jun 21, 2009 by maresie
	Changing How I Mow the Grass (Preview) <!-- @page { margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } -->Hi FamilyI was thinking about change last night. I read a share from someone in another group about the way streams sometimes meander out of their beds and alter their paths. As I was reading it, I was reminded of something my sponsor...	david62	9	668	Jun 21, 2009 by maresie
	Meeting the parents (Preview) So I'm finally meeting the boyfriend's parents after 5 months of dating and am sort of beating myself up a little bit. I am full of reasons that they are going to hate me, I'm fat, I'm old, I have a bunch of kids, I'm liberal and they are very conservative, they are religious and I'm not, he deserves better...	carolinagirl	5	728	Jun 21, 2009 by maresie
	Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results! (Preview) Katy's topic heading triggered me to write this post. Isn't it funny how the program works. David's post triggered Katy's post which triggered mine! Anyway, the reason for this post is my A and I are back together at least at some level. I haven't filed for divorce and am not going to right now. Just fo...	java	7	3107	Jun 21, 2009 by maresie
	would like some advice please on my next step (Preview) first of all i would like to say hello to everyone on here and this is my first post. my story goes like this, please be patient in reading as it may go on for a while. i was once in a long term relationship of 15 yrs with my ex from whom i have 2 beautiful grown up children, i have since moved out of that relations...	jojo38	5	814	Jun 21, 2009 by kitty
	The Insanity of it all (Preview) This is my first proper post. I need to vent As it is fathers day, I invited my AB up for a meal with me and our son. When I asked him to come up, he said as long as we can eat at 1pm. I said it would probably be nearer 2pm as my mother would be going to church and 1pm would be too early for her. He said fine as long as he...	needaway	4	909	Jun 21, 2009 by Temple
	There's No Escaping It (Preview) Hello and Hugs All, It truely amazes me how there is no escaping addiction. Everyone connected to my A hubby is some sort of addict. Today, going to take care of me, I hit a detor. My hubby was at the lumber yard getting supplies to repair our fence. His little brother called him and asked to come over....	Sincerely	5	747	Jun 21, 2009 by Sincerely
	humbled and terrified daily (Preview) since i've started reading and posting here, i've been humbled and moved quite a bit. i am grateful to each of you for being open and honest and caring. each day, i learn something new about this disease and how it's affected me. each day i have to give something new up to HP (a concept i'm still trying t...	xter	5	751	Jun 21, 2009 by JaneG
	My Fathers Day Thoughts - Plus Memories Of My Dad (Preview) Happy Fathers Day to all the fathers of MIP, and all the mothers who serve both roles. I can relate to serving both roles, as I was a Mr. Mom from the time my daughter was 12 and and son 8. I used to kid and say I ran my business all day, came home took off my pants, put on my panties and was Mr. Mom. But, I would n...	RLC	3	764	Jun 21, 2009 by needaway
	I need help (Preview) hello everyone, it is great to see that I am not alone, long story short, I am married to a wonderul man who loves me more than life itself, but he is a functioning alcoholic, for eight years, it is always one drunk night to the next, the promises, the I will get help lines, the begging and pleading for m...	Rachel262612	9	822	Jun 21, 2009 by kitty
	HAPPY FATHERS DAY (Preview) HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL THE WONDERFUL FATHERS OUT THERE. PLEASE GIVE YOUR KIDS AN EXTRA HUG TODAY!!!!!!!!!!! HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY... ANDREA	Andrea12	0	459	Jun 21, 2009 by Andrea12
	"hiding" (Preview) It's stupid! I went to do laundry today and there was a small bottle of vodka and two flight bottles of flavored vodka. I took them out and put them in a bag nearby. I found out later that my dad took them out of my mom's purse and hid them there! It's stupid. My mom hides her drinking and my dad (who is also an al...	Lanchas	4	664	Jun 21, 2009 by blender_girl
	In need of support (Preview) Tonight, for the first time, I started reading "How Al-Anon Works: for Families & Friends of Alcoholics". My grandmother sent it to me years ago and has been gently urging me ever since to give it a try. It wasn't until now, in a fit of heaving sobs, that I did. I started reading and on sixt...	holdhands	8	415	Jun 20, 2009 by Bella333
	can I ask some "what would you do" questions? (Preview) I realize that this board if for support and not to give direct advice but i would appreciated some direction on some specific situations while I learn.... ADH has as 20+ history drinking and been "sober" for 3 years (with about 5 one night slips during that time). We dated as teenagers an...	amylynn67	12	716	Jun 20, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Happy Father's Day! (Preview) (((((((Family)))) Tomorrow is Father's Day here in the States. I won't have the chance to post this tomorrow so I am getting a jump on it today. May I extend a very HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all the Dads and Grandpas here. To the Moms who also have to play the role of father this also extends to...	Karilynn	3	412	Jun 20, 2009 by xter
	Java has now become Overcome (Preview) I have been in this forum since 2004 and have always been known as Java, because of a mistake on my part when signing up on the message board. When asked what my user name was, I confused that with "server name" and put Java! lol I never could figure out how to change it so it's always been Java in h...	Overcome	3	592	Jun 20, 2009 by Overcome
	It works if you work it.... (Preview) I can't believe it... I am learning! I used to be so obsessed with my aH, so much so, that it really didn't matter if he was making good choices, or not so good (by my moral and ethical code) that I could always find a problem in laying somewhere. I was "insane" with that. I am learning. And I am g...	Rora	7	1224	Jun 20, 2009 by xter
	Moments of Serenity! (Preview) In the last week I have found moments of serenity which I haven't really had much lately! I have been stressing out of everything up until the last few days. My life is still crazy, though. In the past two months my husband has been dealing with the loss of his brother as I mentioned before. Right now we...	Hoot Nanny	4	702	Jun 20, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.