Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Ever since my husband got a DUI with our son in the vehicle in February, I've been the one driving my son around. My husband isn't allowed (by law) to drive the SUV he was driving when he got his DUI because it was impounded and released to me (since that's the vehicle with the car seat and I always use i...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

My father didn't like his father's day gift. It's a book called "Two Minutes to Glory: The Official History of the Kentucky Derby." He says he'll read it when "he gets around to it." When I come to visit him and "read it with him." What I'm feeling is what I felt whe...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Hi Family, It may seem a really odd question to ask however I ask it all the same. Is stepping back the same as detaching? I have found myself looking closely at how I manage relationships of late and wondering why I do certain things, how I react to other peoples needs and the responses I make before asse...

beacheemom · beacheemom

I have to make this quick, but will back on later tonight. As stated, I feel so unsure about my husband's drinking. We have been married for 15 years, and have had some struggles, overcame most of them, but one seems like it will never go away and that is his drinking. His drink of choice is beer and has bee...

Star82 · Star82

Hello. This is my first posting. I wanted to see if anyone out there has gone through anything similar or even has some words of advice. My ABF is for the most part a wonderful and loving man. He is totally sober and faithfully goes to his meetings. We have been fighting lately and I am struggling to un...

clara · clara

Adaughter called this morning. Her divorce has been final for 6 days exactly and her ex hubbie is already going back on his word as to what he would agree to do for her. Remember I offered to get an attorney for her and she said "Oh no. He is a good man and will not go back on his word". Well, gues...

Inpain · Inpain

I'm making a bit of progress (I think) - I didn't even realize it until two days ago. I feel that one moment I can be "fine" and the next totally out of control. I see it as progress as I was usually ALWAYS out of control... My DH is a dry drunk. When all the shit hit the fan in our marriage, *I* bou...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I am so excited it's hard to sit still. Quite sometime ago I sent an article in to "The Forum" for consideration of printing. Today I received three copies of the July 2009 issue. The title to my article (Mother recognizes detachment as key to son's recovery) is on the front cover of the m...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband has been talking on the phone (to his family, his friends, etc.) and I will overhear him say things like "relapse" or "slip" whenever he mentions his drinking being out of control these days. It makes me so mad because he's still drinking EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!! How...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

All the Al-Anon literature and meetings, we're told to support and not yell or criticize the alcoholic because it is a disease. I understand all that. BUT, how do you just "tenderly" accept all the lies, coming home late, lack of support, DWI and relapses for years. How can you possibly...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

Hey all I think I have "over done" it a bit lately posting like crazy on the boards...this one and 2 others and ALSO I am working a very intense step 4 and I think it is "info overload" for me.....I am tired!!! Back has been bad for a while now, thank goodness it appears to be healing,...

odaat · odaat

I have been on the roller coaster from h*** for quite some time now. Eight days ago I asked my AH to pack and go since he refused to see his alcohol addiction was hurting the entire family. For the first time in a long time I felt sane and happy again. He called the next morning to inform me he was checking h...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Well, after another day of the drama that ensues with drinking, I have finally reached my limit. I'm DONE. I can't do this any more. I just can't take the repetitive lecture, innuendo and outright insults to me, my character and my background any longer. I called a trusted friend who has 15+ years...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I calmed myself down and got to remembering how wonderful I am and relaxed about meeting the parents as I know they're going to think whatever they're going to think and me being nervous isn't going to help anything. My BF said the magic words... it doesn't matter if they like you or not it only matters...

debilyn · debilyn

Was just thinking,"ok what makes MIP so important now?" A is gone. No other A's in my life. My AH is on my mind and in my heart every day. Many days I think of calling him. I believe if I did not come here, his disease would still control me. I would be analyzing him, asking him to come out here for aw...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I had forgotten that I still had the text for the article on my computer. I made the corrections so that my copy will match theirs. They do say in the instructions that they might alter the copy a bit for publication. It will be in the July 2009 issue.EnjoyBarbMother recognizes detachment as key to so...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

One of my favorite meetings is on Wednesday nights. We had a newcomer recently (she's been there a few times), and there's just something "not right" about her. She always seems very depressed and quite often says that she's an alcoholic (but also that her whole family are alcoholics)....

Mik · Mik

I have become my own worst enemy, a person possessed, on the brink of a total emotional collapse. As much a I seek to calm my fears, insecurities, anger, and letting go, I seem to have these moments of complete insanity and I do things only to think about the consequences of my actions when it's too late. I...

Christy · Christy

For several months I've been dealing with some "stuff", so much that I haven't even wanted to share much of it. Ever been to the point that it's so much you don't want to talk or think about it anymore? I'm still there but I've been constantly grateful for the use of Alanon tools through...

Temple · Temple

I was reading the quote about "I can throw a fit; I can throw all the dishes," and I remembered a time decades ago when AH (and I didn't even realize it then) peeved me off, so to speak, one morning as I was unloading the dishes. He had broken a parfait glass that had been a wedding present and I w...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, I am just so worried about my daughter and the choices she is making with guys.....She was with her daughters father they broke up because he did not treat her well....She finally listened to me..... However, now she is with another guy, at first, he seemed to have it together now I am not...

countrygirl84 · countrygirl84

I'm not really sure where to start in here. A few months ago, I met an amazing wonderful guy and found out soon into it that he was a recovering alcoholic. He was very open and honest about it and I thought it would be no big deal because he was handling it. I am a very non-addictive person - never smoked and ra...

Christy · Christy

This movie is a free download. You will hear some tidbits of "recovery speak", as Dr. Dyer was once an alcoholic. It's very inspiring. He speaks of the knowing within us and trusting in ourselves and much much more. There are several different stories going on simultaniously. All ar...

rosielightshines · rosielightshines

My sponsor and I were talking, b4 we broke up and we discussed marriage and love......She had been married multiple times...I was a two time divorcee....We wondered WHAT really is the essence of happiness...Does a woman or man *have* to be married in order to feel whole????? I used to think so.... I u...

Overcome · Overcome

My ex-husband made some very poor choices when we were going through our divorce in 2004. It caused him to have to see his only daughter under only supervised visitation conditions ever since. My ex-husband is the ACOA father, who physically, mentally, verbably, spiritually and sexually abused hi...

weary · weary

I need to know what constitutes an alcoholic? That may sound a bit strange but I just feel so confused by my husbands behavior. Is there a spectrum of alcholisim? Can someone be a bigger alcholic than another? My husband drinks on average 3 times a week. He always does it when he is golfing. The bi...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Just wanted to give a little update with how it worked out on setting the boundaries with my boyfriend. He has done every single one of the things that I laid out. I am meeting his dad and step mom this weekend and he has already told them about us. He got tested for std's. I have been slipping on the con...

david62 · david62

Hi FamilyI was thinking about change last night. I read a share from someone in another group about the way streams sometimes meander out of their beds and alter their paths. As I was reading it, I was reminded of something my sponsor...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I'm finally meeting the boyfriend's parents after 5 months of dating and am sort of beating myself up a little bit. I am full of reasons that they are going to hate me, I'm fat, I'm old, I have a bunch of kids, I'm liberal and they are very conservative, they are religious and I'm not, he deserves better...

java · java

Katy's topic heading triggered me to write this post. Isn't it funny how the program works. David's post triggered Katy's post which triggered mine! Anyway, the reason for this post is my A and I are back together at least at some level. I haven't filed for divorce and am not going to right now. Just fo...

jojo38 · jojo38

first of all i would like to say hello to everyone on here and this is my first post. my story goes like this, please be patient in reading as it may go on for a while. i was once in a long term relationship of 15 yrs with my ex from whom i have 2 beautiful grown up children, i have since moved out of that relations...

needaway · needaway

This is my first proper post. I need to vent As it is fathers day, I invited my AB up for a meal with me and our son. When I asked him to come up, he said as long as we can eat at 1pm. I said it would probably be nearer 2pm as my mother would be going to church and 1pm would be too early for her. He said fine as long as he...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello and Hugs All, It truely amazes me how there is no escaping addiction. Everyone connected to my A hubby is some sort of addict. Today, going to take care of me, I hit a detor. My hubby was at the lumber yard getting supplies to repair our fence. His little brother called him and asked to come over....

xter · xter

since i've started reading and posting here, i've been humbled and moved quite a bit. i am grateful to each of you for being open and honest and caring. each day, i learn something new about this disease and how it's affected me. each day i have to give something new up to HP (a concept i'm still trying t...

RLC · RLC

Happy Fathers Day to all the fathers of MIP, and all the mothers who serve both roles. I can relate to serving both roles, as I was a Mr. Mom from the time my daughter was 12 and and son 8. I used to kid and say I ran my business all day, came home took off my pants, put on my panties and was Mr. Mom. But, I would n...

Rachel262612 · Rachel262612

hello everyone, it is great to see that I am not alone, long story short, I am married to a wonderul man who loves me more than life itself, but he is a functioning alcoholic, for eight years, it is always one drunk night to the next, the promises, the I will get help lines, the begging and pleading for m...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL THE WONDERFUL FATHERS OUT THERE. PLEASE GIVE YOUR KIDS AN EXTRA HUG TODAY!!!!!!!!!!! HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY... ANDREA

Lanchas · Lanchas

It's stupid! I went to do laundry today and there was a small bottle of vodka and two flight bottles of flavored vodka. I took them out and put them in a bag nearby. I found out later that my dad took them out of my mom's purse and hid them there! It's stupid. My mom hides her drinking and my dad (who is also an al...

holdhands · holdhands

Tonight, for the first time, I started reading "How Al-Anon Works: for Families & Friends of Alcoholics". My grandmother sent it to me years ago and has been gently urging me ever since to give it a try. It wasn't until now, in a fit of heaving sobs, that I did. I started reading and on sixt...

amylynn67 · amylynn67

I realize that this board if for support and not to give direct advice but i would appreciated some direction on some specific situations while I learn.... ADH has as 20+ history drinking and been "sober" for 3 years (with about 5 one night slips during that time). We dated as teenagers an...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family)))) Tomorrow is Father's Day here in the States. I won't have the chance to post this tomorrow so I am getting a jump on it today. May I extend a very HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all the Dads and Grandpas here. To the Moms who also have to play the role of father this also extends to...

Overcome · Overcome

I have been in this forum since 2004 and have always been known as Java, because of a mistake on my part when signing up on the message board. When asked what my user name was, I confused that with "server name" and put Java! lol I never could figure out how to change it so it's always been Java in h...

Rora · Rora

I can't believe it... I am learning! I used to be so obsessed with my aH, so much so, that it really didn't matter if he was making good choices, or not so good (by my moral and ethical code) that I could always find a problem in laying somewhere. I was "insane" with that. I am learning. And I am g...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

In the last week I have found moments of serenity which I haven't really had much lately! I have been stressing out of everything up until the last few days. My life is still crazy, though. In the past two months my husband has been dealing with the loss of his brother as I mentioned before. Right now we...

Mariner · Mariner

Dear (((All))) Firstly I want to give you all a great big ((())) of thanks. Thank you all for being there for me, for your wonderful es&h to my recent posts and to all who post here. I have been in a real low the past couple of weeks and I'm sorry that I have not been able to respond to others, I just felt I...

Lorilynn · Lorilynn

I have been married for 14 years...have 3 children...HAD a wonderful..successful business. My husband has always been a drinker. I met him in a bar. I guess I thought I could tame the beast.... He is verbally abusive, violent and has a pattern of blaming everythng on me. The past 6months have been dev...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Well, first of all my son had a terrible motor cycle accident...It was horrific, I watched him wreck that bike, thank God he had a helmet on. He is ok, just some major road rash....been on the sofa since it happened. As it gets closer to the anniversary of my husbands death, I seem to have m...

gngcrzy · gngcrzy

My SoberAfriend clearly wants to resume our friendship that I broke of at Christmas. He's being a sweetheart and isn't pushy but I just cannot be around him. His craziness is better but not good and the base problems are still there and I get triggered over the smallest things he says or does. I feel lik...

Lucidgirl · Lucidgirl

Hi Everyone, My name is Sarah. I'm new to this site and let me tell you, just reading the posts here have given me strength. Sometimes I feel bad because my situation isn't nearly as bad as some of yours. But none the less, its still been very difficult for me. I've never dealt with an alcoholic before. I me...

ThisIsBlythe · ThisIsBlythe

Hello Friends, My A is starting a long summer vacation and, rather than stress about the misery and drama possibly coming my way due to such close proximity, I have decided to relax and try to get my mind off of my stress with a little comic relief. My apologies go out to the "double winners" ou...

belle1 · belle1

I'd like to say many many thanks to everyone who sent a get well wish during my recent stay in hosp, it was very nice to read and know so many cared. Am home now and doing much better follwing drs orders, it seemed i had picked up a very bad infection as well as a kidney stone and with having polycystic kidn...

Bella · Bella

What are your thoughts on dating in early recovery...early meaning, 3 months, a sponsor, 3 or 4 meetings a week and per my sponsor "nailed step one (the only one you need to get perfect), passed step two and I am now on 3. Admittedly, I am having more issues with 3 then I did with 1 or 2 (I think it is the...

xter · xter

yup. i was vigorously shaking my head today at some of the things he was saying (namely that he hasn't had contact with That Woman who "opened his eyes to AA" after i asked him not to. i know he has. i lowered myself to breaking into his phone usage online.) i have become someone who snoops an...

Temple · Temple

As they say on the God channel. I'm new. have been lurking a few weeks, posting a few days, haven't told my story yet, will break it down into dribs and drabs cause this has been going on a long time and anybody trying to read it in one sitting would go blind. Thanks to your inspiration and nudging--even wh...

ThisIsBlythe · ThisIsBlythe

For the first time... I let a family member in on what life is really like at my house. There is no addiction in my family of origin, and my siblings all married "well" in that they have stuck with their spouses and pretty much have stable happy marriages. Not perfect, but not full of abuse an...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Gee family, Rosie and tlc and wildthing, you are so right, I am so good at beating myself up...still an area that I need to work on. Progress not perfection is what matters. I hear you. I am so very human and David you are right too, I made a comment, I spoke the truth, I got to the point of being sick of the...

oran · oran

HI. Im new to this so not sure where to start. I've been in a relationship with an alcoholic ex-cocaine addict for three years now. He was a drug addict for 10 years and decided 2 years ago that enough was enough and gave up. He has been clean ever since. He has always been a drinker but things were just...

florida · florida

out there smoking again - every time he does i wake up and stay awake till he returns but when i get up early for the gym im quiet, no lights on, etc

Lilly Burn · Lilly Burn

Ive just read something about the excuses A's make, and one bit really got me. I'd be OK if it weren't for you! My AH said so many things about me for months and months when he was out, I knew nothing of it and would walk into a social situation thinking there was my husband, my loyal husband, who would have ju...

abbyal · abbyal

Yesterday I lost a dear Al-Anon friend , he was 55 yrs old he had been in program for 7 yrs , he was so grateful for his sons addiction as it led him to our program and changed his life . He was truly an enthusiatic , grateful member of Al-Anon . I sit and think of him today and am filled with gratitude that i fou...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Husband wants to drive son around (Preview) Ever since my husband got a DUI with our son in the vehicle in February, I've been the one driving my son around. My husband isn't allowed (by law) to drive the SUV he was driving when he got his DUI because it was impounded and released to me (since that's the vehicle with the car seat and I always use i...	N8SMOM	10	977	Jun 23, 2009 by kitty
	My dad didn't like his father's day gift (Preview) My father didn't like his father's day gift. It's a book called "Two Minutes to Glory: The Official History of the Kentucky Derby." He says he'll read it when "he gets around to it." When I come to visit him and "read it with him." What I'm feeling is what I felt whe...	Tiger2006	9	702	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	Is stepping back the same as detaching? (Preview) Hi Family, It may seem a really odd question to ask however I ask it all the same. Is stepping back the same as detaching? I have found myself looking closely at how I manage relationships of late and wondering why I do certain things, how I react to other peoples needs and the responses I make before asse...	Suzannah	7	953	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	first time here, and feel lost and unsure- asking for some guidance please (Preview) I have to make this quick, but will back on later tonight. As stated, I feel so unsure about my husband's drinking. We have been married for 15 years, and have had some struggles, overcame most of them, but one seems like it will never go away and that is his drinking. His drink of choice is beer and has bee...	beacheemom	10	1064	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	Struggling to understanding 4 yr sober ABF (Preview) Hello. This is my first posting. I wanted to see if anyone out there has gone through anything similar or even has some words of advice. My ABF is for the most part a wonderful and loving man. He is totally sober and faithfully goes to his meetings. We have been fighting lately and I am struggling to un...	Star82	6	729	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	Daughter called today, I told her "I told you so"!!!! (Preview) Adaughter called this morning. Her divorce has been final for 6 days exactly and her ex hubbie is already going back on his word as to what he would agree to do for her. Remember I offered to get an attorney for her and she said "Oh no. He is a good man and will not go back on his word". Well, gues...	clara	7	777	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	Sort of proud of myself (Preview) I'm making a bit of progress (I think) - I didn't even realize it until two days ago. I feel that one moment I can be "fine" and the next totally out of control. I see it as progress as I was usually ALWAYS out of control... My DH is a dry drunk. When all the shit hit the fan in our marriage, I bou...	Inpain	3	674	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	I've been published (Preview) I am so excited it's hard to sit still. Quite sometime ago I sent an article in to "The Forum" for consideration of printing. Today I received three copies of the July 2009 issue. The title to my article (Mother recognizes detachment as key to son's recovery) is on the front cover of the m...	Mobirdie	15	862	Jun 23, 2009 by maresie
	So Annoying (Preview) My husband has been talking on the phone (to his family, his friends, etc.) and I will overhear him say things like "relapse" or "slip" whenever he mentions his drinking being out of control these days. It makes me so mad because he's still drinking EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!!! How...	N8SMOM	6	900	Jun 23, 2009 by glad lee
	How do I support when I feel so angry? (Preview) All the Al-Anon literature and meetings, we're told to support and not yell or criticize the alcoholic because it is a disease. I understand all that. BUT, how do you just "tenderly" accept all the lies, coming home late, lack of support, DWI and relapses for years. How can you possibly...	wifeofalcoholic	12	887	Jun 23, 2009 by wifeofalcoholic
	I'm a bit "burned out" (Preview) Hey all I think I have "over done" it a bit lately posting like crazy on the boards...this one and 2 others and ALSO I am working a very intense step 4 and I think it is "info overload" for me.....I am tired!!! Back has been bad for a while now, thank goodness it appears to be healing,...	rosielightshines	3	779	Jun 23, 2009 by Temple
	Feeling Proud Of My AH Today!! (Preview) I have been on the roller coaster from h*** for quite some time now. Eight days ago I asked my AH to pack and go since he refused to see his alcohol addiction was hurting the entire family. For the first time in a long time I felt sane and happy again. He called the next morning to inform me he was checking h...	odaat	4	716	Jun 23, 2009 by odaat
	Stick a fork in me, I'm DONE (Preview) Well, after another day of the drama that ensues with drinking, I have finally reached my limit. I'm DONE. I can't do this any more. I just can't take the repetitive lecture, innuendo and outright insults to me, my character and my background any longer. I called a trusted friend who has 15+ years...	blender_girl	3	715	Jun 23, 2009 by Melissa21
	Update (Preview) I calmed myself down and got to remembering how wonderful I am and relaxed about meeting the parents as I know they're going to think whatever they're going to think and me being nervous isn't going to help anything. My BF said the magic words... it doesn't matter if they like you or not it only matters...	carolinagirl	4	734	Jun 23, 2009 by Karilynn
	Wthout Al Anon (Preview) Was just thinking,"ok what makes MIP so important now?" A is gone. No other A's in my life. My AH is on my mind and in my heart every day. Many days I think of calling him. I believe if I did not come here, his disease would still control me. I would be analyzing him, asking him to come out here for aw...	debilyn	5	724	Jun 22, 2009 by RunnerChick
	Forum Article (Preview) I had forgotten that I still had the text for the article on my computer. I made the corrections so that my copy will match theirs. They do say in the instructions that they might alter the copy a bit for publication. It will be in the July 2009 issue.EnjoyBarbMother recognizes detachment as key to so...	Mobirdie	9	1092	Jun 22, 2009 by maire rua
	Problem with a F2F Meeting (Preview) One of my favorite meetings is on Wednesday nights. We had a newcomer recently (she's been there a few times), and there's just something "not right" about her. She always seems very depressed and quite often says that she's an alcoholic (but also that her whole family are alcoholics)....	N8SMOM	10	969	Jun 22, 2009 by alanonicScotland
	I am my own worst enemy... (Preview) I have become my own worst enemy, a person possessed, on the brink of a total emotional collapse. As much a I seek to calm my fears, insecurities, anger, and letting go, I seem to have these moments of complete insanity and I do things only to think about the consequences of my actions when it's too late. I...	Mik	4	620	Jun 22, 2009 by debilyn
	The wisdom of my Asober husband :) (Preview) For several months I've been dealing with some "stuff", so much that I haven't even wanted to share much of it. Ever been to the point that it's so much you don't want to talk or think about it anymore? I'm still there but I've been constantly grateful for the use of Alanon tools through...	Christy	10	642	Jun 22, 2009 by thinkstoomuch
	I remembered a funny. (Preview) I was reading the quote about "I can throw a fit; I can throw all the dishes," and I remembered a time decades ago when AH (and I didn't even realize it then) peeved me off, so to speak, one morning as I was unloading the dishes. He had broken a parfait glass that had been a wedding present and I w...	Temple	6	796	Jun 22, 2009 by Temple
	Daughter trying to replace Father???? (Preview) Hello Friends, I am just so worried about my daughter and the choices she is making with guys.....She was with her daughters father they broke up because he did not treat her well....She finally listened to me..... However, now she is with another guy, at first, he seemed to have it together now I am not...	Andrea12	3	484	Jun 22, 2009 by blender_girl
	At a loss - dating a recovering alcoholic (Preview) I'm not really sure where to start in here. A few months ago, I met an amazing wonderful guy and found out soon into it that he was a recovering alcoholic. He was very open and honest about it and I thought it would be no big deal because he was handling it. I am a very non-addictive person - never smoked and ra...	countrygirl84	18	9281	Jun 22, 2009 by SatoriGirl
	The Shift, Wayne Dyer (Preview) This movie is a free download. You will hear some tidbits of "recovery speak", as Dr. Dyer was once an alcoholic. It's very inspiring. He speaks of the knowing within us and trusting in ourselves and much much more. There are several different stories going on simultaniously. All ar...	Christy	3	3915	Jun 22, 2009 by Christy
	Growing from HALF a woman to WHOLE (Preview) My sponsor and I were talking, b4 we broke up and we discussed marriage and love......She had been married multiple times...I was a two time divorcee....We wondered WHAT really is the essence of happiness...Does a woman or man have to be married in order to feel whole????? I used to think so.... I u...	rosielightshines	2	584	Jun 21, 2009 by xter
	Daughter has to see dad under supervised visitation on Father's Day...sad (Preview) My ex-husband made some very poor choices when we were going through our divorce in 2004. It caused him to have to see his only daughter under only supervised visitation conditions ever since. My ex-husband is the ACOA father, who physically, mentally, verbably, spiritually and sexually abused hi...	Overcome	3	1402	Jun 21, 2009 by RobinSchwalb
	Is there a spectrum of alcoholism? (Preview) I need to know what constitutes an alcoholic? That may sound a bit strange but I just feel so confused by my husbands behavior. Is there a spectrum of alcholisim? Can someone be a bigger alcholic than another? My husband drinks on average 3 times a week. He always does it when he is golfing. The bi...	weary	7	845	Jun 21, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Update on BF (Preview) Just wanted to give a little update with how it worked out on setting the boundaries with my boyfriend. He has done every single one of the things that I laid out. I am meeting his dad and step mom this weekend and he has already told them about us. He got tested for std's. I have been slipping on the con...	carolinagirl	6	830	Jun 21, 2009 by maresie
	Changing How I Mow the Grass (Preview) <!-- @page { margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } -->Hi FamilyI was thinking about change last night. I read a share from someone in another group about the way streams sometimes meander out of their beds and alter their paths. As I was reading it, I was reminded of something my sponsor...	david62	9	630	Jun 21, 2009 by maresie
	Meeting the parents (Preview) So I'm finally meeting the boyfriend's parents after 5 months of dating and am sort of beating myself up a little bit. I am full of reasons that they are going to hate me, I'm fat, I'm old, I have a bunch of kids, I'm liberal and they are very conservative, they are religious and I'm not, he deserves better...	carolinagirl	5	692	Jun 21, 2009 by maresie
	Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results! (Preview) Katy's topic heading triggered me to write this post. Isn't it funny how the program works. David's post triggered Katy's post which triggered mine! Anyway, the reason for this post is my A and I are back together at least at some level. I haven't filed for divorce and am not going to right now. Just fo...	java	7	2980	Jun 21, 2009 by maresie
	would like some advice please on my next step (Preview) first of all i would like to say hello to everyone on here and this is my first post. my story goes like this, please be patient in reading as it may go on for a while. i was once in a long term relationship of 15 yrs with my ex from whom i have 2 beautiful grown up children, i have since moved out of that relations...	jojo38	5	776	Jun 21, 2009 by kitty
	The Insanity of it all (Preview) This is my first proper post. I need to vent As it is fathers day, I invited my AB up for a meal with me and our son. When I asked him to come up, he said as long as we can eat at 1pm. I said it would probably be nearer 2pm as my mother would be going to church and 1pm would be too early for her. He said fine as long as he...	needaway	4	873	Jun 21, 2009 by Temple
	There's No Escaping It (Preview) Hello and Hugs All, It truely amazes me how there is no escaping addiction. Everyone connected to my A hubby is some sort of addict. Today, going to take care of me, I hit a detor. My hubby was at the lumber yard getting supplies to repair our fence. His little brother called him and asked to come over....	Sincerely	5	709	Jun 21, 2009 by Sincerely
	humbled and terrified daily (Preview) since i've started reading and posting here, i've been humbled and moved quite a bit. i am grateful to each of you for being open and honest and caring. each day, i learn something new about this disease and how it's affected me. each day i have to give something new up to HP (a concept i'm still trying t...	xter	5	715	Jun 21, 2009 by JaneG
	My Fathers Day Thoughts - Plus Memories Of My Dad (Preview) Happy Fathers Day to all the fathers of MIP, and all the mothers who serve both roles. I can relate to serving both roles, as I was a Mr. Mom from the time my daughter was 12 and and son 8. I used to kid and say I ran my business all day, came home took off my pants, put on my panties and was Mr. Mom. But, I would n...	RLC	3	723	Jun 21, 2009 by needaway
	I need help (Preview) hello everyone, it is great to see that I am not alone, long story short, I am married to a wonderul man who loves me more than life itself, but he is a functioning alcoholic, for eight years, it is always one drunk night to the next, the promises, the I will get help lines, the begging and pleading for m...	Rachel262612	9	784	Jun 21, 2009 by kitty
	HAPPY FATHERS DAY (Preview) HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL THE WONDERFUL FATHERS OUT THERE. PLEASE GIVE YOUR KIDS AN EXTRA HUG TODAY!!!!!!!!!!! HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY... ANDREA	Andrea12	0	423	Jun 21, 2009 by Andrea12
	"hiding" (Preview) It's stupid! I went to do laundry today and there was a small bottle of vodka and two flight bottles of flavored vodka. I took them out and put them in a bag nearby. I found out later that my dad took them out of my mom's purse and hid them there! It's stupid. My mom hides her drinking and my dad (who is also an al...	Lanchas	4	625	Jun 21, 2009 by blender_girl
	In need of support (Preview) Tonight, for the first time, I started reading "How Al-Anon Works: for Families & Friends of Alcoholics". My grandmother sent it to me years ago and has been gently urging me ever since to give it a try. It wasn't until now, in a fit of heaving sobs, that I did. I started reading and on sixt...	holdhands	8	378	Jun 20, 2009 by Bella333
	can I ask some "what would you do" questions? (Preview) I realize that this board if for support and not to give direct advice but i would appreciated some direction on some specific situations while I learn.... ADH has as 20+ history drinking and been "sober" for 3 years (with about 5 one night slips during that time). We dated as teenagers an...	amylynn67	12	677	Jun 20, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Happy Father's Day! (Preview) (((((((Family)))) Tomorrow is Father's Day here in the States. I won't have the chance to post this tomorrow so I am getting a jump on it today. May I extend a very HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all the Dads and Grandpas here. To the Moms who also have to play the role of father this also extends to...	Karilynn	3	375	Jun 20, 2009 by xter
	Java has now become Overcome (Preview) I have been in this forum since 2004 and have always been known as Java, because of a mistake on my part when signing up on the message board. When asked what my user name was, I confused that with "server name" and put Java! lol I never could figure out how to change it so it's always been Java in h...	Overcome	3	556	Jun 20, 2009 by Overcome
	It works if you work it.... (Preview) I can't believe it... I am learning! I used to be so obsessed with my aH, so much so, that it really didn't matter if he was making good choices, or not so good (by my moral and ethical code) that I could always find a problem in laying somewhere. I was "insane" with that. I am learning. And I am g...	Rora	7	1182	Jun 20, 2009 by xter
	Moments of Serenity! (Preview) In the last week I have found moments of serenity which I haven't really had much lately! I have been stressing out of everything up until the last few days. My life is still crazy, though. In the past two months my husband has been dealing with the loss of his brother as I mentioned before. Right now we...	Hoot Nanny	4	663	Jun 20, 2009 by Hoot Nanny
	Strength from nature and my HP (Preview) Dear (((All))) Firstly I want to give you all a great big ((())) of thanks. Thank you all for being there for me, for your wonderful es&h to my recent posts and to all who post here. I have been in a real low the past couple of weeks and I'm sorry that I have not been able to respond to others, I just felt I...	Mariner	3	618	Jun 20, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Alcoholic Husband..wont get help (Preview) I have been married for 14 years...have 3 children...HAD a wonderful..successful business. My husband has always been a drinker. I met him in a bar. I guess I thought I could tame the beast.... He is verbally abusive, violent and has a pattern of blaming everythng on me. The past 6months have been dev...	Lorilynn	13	1834	Jun 20, 2009 by Lorilynn
	It takes Too Much (Preview) Hello Friends, Well, first of all my son had a terrible motor cycle accident...It was horrific, I watched him wreck that bike, thank God he had a helmet on. He is ok, just some major road rash....been on the sofa since it happened. As it gets closer to the anniversary of my husbands death, I seem to have m...	Andrea12	8	575	Jun 20, 2009 by Karilynn
	Speaking of being honest... (Preview) My SoberAfriend clearly wants to resume our friendship that I broke of at Christmas. He's being a sweetheart and isn't pushy but I just cannot be around him. His craziness is better but not good and the base problems are still there and I get triggered over the smallest things he says or does. I feel lik...	gngcrzy	7	485	Jun 20, 2009 by gngcrzy
	I feel so alone (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is Sarah. I'm new to this site and let me tell you, just reading the posts here have given me strength. Sometimes I feel bad because my situation isn't nearly as bad as some of yours. But none the less, its still been very difficult for me. I've never dealt with an alcoholic before. I me...	Lucidgirl	13	616	Jun 20, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Top Ten List...some comic relief (Preview) Hello Friends, My A is starting a long summer vacation and, rather than stress about the misery and drama possibly coming my way due to such close proximity, I have decided to relax and try to get my mind off of my stress with a little comic relief. My apologies go out to the "double winners" ou...	ThisIsBlythe	3	952	Jun 19, 2009 by rosielightshines
	Many Many Thanks (Preview) I'd like to say many many thanks to everyone who sent a get well wish during my recent stay in hosp, it was very nice to read and know so many cared. Am home now and doing much better follwing drs orders, it seemed i had picked up a very bad infection as well as a kidney stone and with having polycystic kidn...	belle1	7	712	Jun 19, 2009 by wp
	Dating in early recovery??? (Preview) What are your thoughts on dating in early recovery...early meaning, 3 months, a sponsor, 3 or 4 meetings a week and per my sponsor "nailed step one (the only one you need to get perfect), passed step two and I am now on 3. Admittedly, I am having more issues with 3 then I did with 1 or 2 (I think it is the...	Bella	8	549	Jun 19, 2009 by rosielightshines
	making faces at the therapist when husband wasn't looking (Preview) yup. i was vigorously shaking my head today at some of the things he was saying (namely that he hasn't had contact with That Woman who "opened his eyes to AA" after i asked him not to. i know he has. i lowered myself to breaking into his phone usage online.) i have become someone who snoops an...	xter	9	578	Jun 19, 2009 by Jerry F
	"Praise Report" (Preview) As they say on the God channel. I'm new. have been lurking a few weeks, posting a few days, haven't told my story yet, will break it down into dribs and drabs cause this has been going on a long time and anybody trying to read it in one sitting would go blind. Thanks to your inspiration and nudging--even wh...	Temple	6	646	Jun 19, 2009 by Temple
	My first day telling the truth... (Preview) For the first time... I let a family member in on what life is really like at my house. There is no addiction in my family of origin, and my siblings all married "well" in that they have stuck with their spouses and pretty much have stable happy marriages. Not perfect, but not full of abuse an...	ThisIsBlythe	8	777	Jun 18, 2009 by blender_girl
	Just sat down and gave myself permission to grieve and let go of supporting anyone else for the next few hours at least. (Preview) Gee family, Rosie and tlc and wildthing, you are so right, I am so good at beating myself up...still an area that I need to work on. Progress not perfection is what matters. I hear you. I am so very human and David you are right too, I made a comment, I spoke the truth, I got to the point of being sick of the...	Suzannah	4	740	Jun 18, 2009 by Temple
	Help!! please (Preview) HI. Im new to this so not sure where to start. I've been in a relationship with an alcoholic ex-cocaine addict for three years now. He was a drug addict for 10 years and decided 2 years ago that enough was enough and gave up. He has been clean ever since. He has always been a drinker but things were just...	oran	6	499	Jun 18, 2009 by xter
	why do they need to keep the family awake in the middle of the night? (Preview) out there smoking again - every time he does i wake up and stay awake till he returns but when i get up early for the gym im quiet, no lights on, etc	florida	6	750	Jun 18, 2009 by amylynn67
	I'd be OK if it weren't for you! (Preview) Ive just read something about the excuses A's make, and one bit really got me. I'd be OK if it weren't for you! My AH said so many things about me for months and months when he was out, I knew nothing of it and would walk into a social situation thinking there was my husband, my loyal husband, who would have ju...	Lilly Burn	10	881	Jun 18, 2009 by Lilly Burn
	Not a good day . (Preview) Yesterday I lost a dear Al-Anon friend , he was 55 yrs old he had been in program for 7 yrs , he was so grateful for his sons addiction as it led him to our program and changed his life . He was truly an enthusiatic , grateful member of Al-Anon . I sit and think of him today and am filled with gratitude that i fou...	abbyal	19	917	Jun 18, 2009 by Andrea12
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.