The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Step one----books says ** admitted i was powerless over the affects of xxxxxxxxx (alcohol or whatever it is that you are struggling with, i.e., food, drugs, et al)....and that my life had become unmanageable*****.....Rosie says......I am powerless over this job I am "over" worrying about...they are not going to change...I am powerless over all things but me...I know that I cannot "fight life" anymore...i just get beaten up if I do...
Step two----books says **came to believe that a power (as I understand it) which is greater than i can restore me to sanity*** ...Rosie says.....b/c I have a higher power, I can be restored to sanity..i am christian, however b4 that I used the program and its tools as my higher power.....either way, My way is not working, so there IS a better way...I just gotta open up for and believe in that there IS a better way......
Step three---Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of my higher power AS I understand him/her it......rosie says....I cannot fix this.....someone else can......Why not turn it over and "toss it off me" and LET GO....LET GOD/HP/PROGRAM (HP as I understand it)......
Knowing that i do not have to fight this alone, helps clear my head and helps me know that I do have help....
even if I were not a christian and I was not one when i came here.....however it "snuck up on me" and it works for me....for a long time my program and the meets and the fellowship with my recovery mates were my higher power and i leaned on it each time I was POWERLESS.....
like today, I am flooding the boards w/posts b/c I need my program...you guys and the support and encouragement and esh (experience/strength/hope) i get out of it gives me strength to "go it another day".......
the serenity prayer also works....
God/HP give the the PEACE to accept what I cannot change/fix give me the STRENGTH to change the things I can... and give me the wisdome to know that the ONLY thing I can change is ME...
AFter talking with my cousin, I may leave the job after all.....I'll know this week, more....IF these guys I am teaching are really interested, i just may give notice....
I sort of see the first three steps as surrender, hope & practising faith. If I am not able to do them... then I got busy with one & get into it with myself. Since I worked all twelves steps... long ago... I try to work them all simultaneously every single day & every moment of my life. As anything comes up in the moment, I pounce on it & give it the attention it needs, until I am able to go back to working them all together.
I also have had to use lots of the slogans & acronyms & take them deeply to heart & now they are a way of being. QTIP was a biggie - as I took everything personally. I had to develop some inner boundaries. MYOB was huge for me too. It is my umbrella/catch all that I've used to redirect my mind, very successfully I'll add. The moment I'd get to thinking on someone else's mental state or lack thereof... and I have the awareness of my thoughts, I simply bring it back to me & what I can do.
It works when u work it ;) lol I'm walking proof!
__________________
Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Today its the first BIG 3....doing step 4, w/ daily 1,2,3....step 4 is a long one, but oh so necessary at least 1 x per month...step 10 each nite in bed as I "review" my day
I only recently asked someone to be my sponsor. My prior sponsor had basically dropped of the face of the planet and I got the message that she couldn't be the sponsor I really need at this moment.
So... I'm back at STEP ONE. And boy do I need it. I have anxiety about not working it - not knowing how to work it, etc.
I only recently asked someone to be my sponsor. My prior sponsor had basically dropped of the face of the planet and I got the message that she couldn't be the sponsor I really need at this moment.
So... I'm back at STEP ONE. And boy do I need it. I have anxiety about not working it - not knowing how to work it, etc.
awwww Runner that hurts ...I got dumped by my sponsor, or EX sponsor I should say, AFTER she worked my inventory w/fangs hanging out of her looking like dracula,
I was blessed to be shed of such toxic and attacking behaviour...it sure left a bad taste in my mouth, and took me some time to feel the anger and grief so i could get over it and move on....so yea, step one is what i did too...
.i am so sorry that happened to you....our first lessons in "trust" come from a sponsor and a bad one can really mess up my willingness to trust again....i just had to say to me "ok, that is HER stuff, and let it go".......
step one is kinda like "ok, i am sick of juggling these balls and so to heck with them...gonna just let them go...i give up" OR step one can be interpreted as "my way is NOT working and my life is crazy b/c i am working on My will and MY will is just not working"....its kinda like the give up step
until i got into step 2 and 3, i felt kinda empty w/step 1...like "ok, i admitted i was powerless, let all the stuff fall to the ground....NOW what???" and then steps #2, and 3 kinda "filled me up again.." with hope...direction....kinda like a mapsco to life...like ok,
I CANT HP CAN Why not give HP a shot at it since my way is not working?????
i know how ya feel, been there..done that..once i got into a roll about the 1st 3 steps, workin them all the time, its like "ok, i may feel fear, but i can deal"...I am not alone, i have my HP, my program, my recovery mates, so its gonna be OK
i'm working 2 and 3. but it's so hard for an atheist like me. i've decided that the inter connectivity between all people and nature could be my higher power. it can be, right? maybe the Unknowable?
i'm working 2 and 3. but it's so hard for an atheist like me. i've decided that the inter connectivity between all people and nature could be my higher power. it can be, right? maybe the Unknowable?
exter what ever "makes you feel right" I would GO for it.... when i first came here, the program and the people/steps/meets/ et al were my HP.....so yea, whatever WORKS for you, i would glom onto it w/both hands
