The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I used to be so obsessed with my aH, so much so, that it really didn't matter if he was making good choices, or not so good (by my moral and ethical code) that I could always find a problem in laying somewhere. I was "insane" with that.
I am learning. And I am growing. With the help of Alanon, HP, the universe, you all...
I am beginning to see how my obsession with my aH and his doing, not doing, feeling, not feeling, loving, not loving, etc etc led me to my extreme unhappiness. For so long I blamed my aH for my unhappiness. If he would only, then I would ... I was so backed into a corner with that thinking. LIke I had nowhere to be but angry, sad, hurt, and carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. Obsessing over my aH resulted in me having no time to live my own life. I really feel like I lost myself.
Now, I know that it's up to me. That I always have a choice. And if I choose wrong, and I don't like the consequences, it's me to blame. I am also learning that I am entitled to decisions about and for me...that are right for me.... but my decisions making is not right for everyone. Just me.
The weight of the world on my shoulders feeling is lifting... and I am finding happiness...
I love my aH. And thru this process, I am learning different things about him too. My mind is more open. I am seeing things differently. Things are not so clautrophic and obsessed.
This is such an awesome description of the way I have felt, but have never been able to put into exact words. Allowing someone their own journey and emarking on your own is scary and exciting. Thank you for reminding me how well this program works - IF YOU WORK IT.
isnt it amazing & empowering to see u have choices & the freedom to make them! And that it is all up to you! it is a process & i'm glad ur more open minded - it means u will be able to see opportunities for your growth.
I personally dont like to use the word blame - that feels like a dead end street. But u sd it with consequences - if u dont like the outcome, u can make another choice. We get that responsibility & it is only to us & for us.
I also like to think of the word responsibility as the ability to respond - as that gives me a window to empower myself & not feel the weight of "blame".
I too was hopelessly obsessed with others, 24/7 & thought it would never ever change for me... but as I focus on me & MYOB mind my own business... I no longer obsess.
So happy for your progress!
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Go for you, Way to work your program... :) My Husband isn't an A... But I he is Moody as all Heck... But this program has also let me "let him" have his own feelings about things and I know I have a choice to listen or walk away... It has saved many arguements, and brought much JOY to my life to know that I have a Voice, as well as a Choice... I pick Pro-Me :)
Great Job... One Day @ A Time:) Love & Prayers Jozie
