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Well, first of all my son had a terrible motor cycle accident...It was horrific, I watched him wreck that bike, thank God he had a helmet on. He is ok, just some major road rash....been on the sofa since it happened.
As it gets closer to the anniversary of my husbands death, I seem to have many tears. My daughter starts college in August I am very proud of her, father's day is Sunday and I can feel the tension in my home, kids are arguing over nothing. I can feel their pain.
I was just thinking about all the things Chuck is missing in our kids life. This awful disease is just that horrible. I told my daughter yesterday dad would be very proud of you for going to college...I am sure she knows this, however it doesn't make things any easier. I am so proud of her she is a mom, and now going to fulfill her dreams of becoming a nurse. I am trying my best to be as supportive as possible.
I am trying, the more I try the harder it seems to be....I hate this disease.....it takes too much way too much.
FIrst it takes the spirit, then the soul and then the life........
Andrea for awhile it helped me to go to the mountains to the creek I put my husbands ashes in.Maybe you and your kids can go do something fun.
NOt that it will take your minds off of it, but you know the earth can heal us. Waterfalls, the ocean a beautiful lake or river.
I took my kids on day trips to the fish hatchery, the beach, out hiking, rafting. After awhile we got into our own familiar. Not like when he was here, but our life continued.
You all just had a huge scare from your son's accident. That triggered all that pain you know of that could have just been again!
I am sure part of the kids thing is they love each other so much,it scared them, and they don't know what to do with those emotions.
My kids were smaller,but even as they got older they had the weirdest ideas from their dad dieing.They were afraid if something happened to me, how would anyone find them?
I don't do Halloween now, but when my son was older, he saw dads helping their kids with costumes and he had a huge blow out at school.
When kids go thru this they lose their innocense much too quickly. That feeling of everything is ok.
It forces them to grow up quicker. In the long run they will be better people. You are good mom. They have you.
I feel for you Andrea, it must be really hard sometimes.... All I can relate to, is a close friend of mine who lost his wife to cancer a couple of years ago, and he actually uses some of our program to help him through..... Sometimes has to take things literally one minute at a time, and sometimes has to almost remind himself to "breathe in, breathe out", and then to "put one foot in front of the other".....
I guess I'd just try to encourage you to remember what Chuck would have wanted for you.... if he loved you as much as you obviously loved you, I would guess that he wants you to move on, and live life to the fullest.... maybe, in some way, you can use his passing as your reminder of how precious life really is, and that you're determined to never waste another day.....
Take care Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Big Hugs To You for all you have been thru. And your children. I am 35 and resently lost my Afather to alcohol. He was 58, three days earlier... I too am having a hard time with the whole "Fathers Day thing", and don't know how I am going to approach it yet! But I do know that my Afather would have wanted me to go to that Dinner we always shared, or just enjoy my son...
My Boy too has a need for speed, and motorcycles, and 4 wheelers, and every time I see his sweet face on one, (he's 11) I want to crawl in a hole..., but that is his dream and in some way connects him to his real dad... see his Bio Father Loved Dirt Bikes, and Shoot'n Pool He was killed in a car wreck when our son was 8 months old. We had split before I knew i was pregnant, because of he lived to far away...He never laid eyes on my boy, he was on his way to my town the night he fell asleep..
My son is 11 and tells me often about him missing him, and wishing they could have got to know one another.. That breaks my heart, but I am glad he shares it with me :) My husband has been with me since day one, and he knew that my son would know of his real father and we would make him a part of our life... So my son now has a Father in Heaven looking over him, and one on Earth Caring and loving him as well...I have to count my blessing often...
You are doing a wonderful job.. You have been thru alot, and yet you still come here, and care, share and help heal others... You are a good person, and your kids will be what you are, Happy, Sad, Mad, or Glad... They feed off us always... Don't moron your husband missing your daughters college, Celibrate as he would that she did it, and is wonderful and blessed... They will always miss him, I know I will always miss mine, and some days it is hard to get out of bed... But I do... We do what we have to...
Take care of you... Be Gentle on Yourself.. For this to will pass... Take what you like and leave the rest... Love & Prayers Jozie
I am trying, the more I try the harder it seems to be....I hate this disease.....it takes too much way too much.
FIrst it takes the spirit, then the soul and then the life........
####### yes it does!!! He is GONE!!! You are NOT!!! I would keep focus on me, working my program and yea, feel the feelings of the loss, however, you have your children and grandchildren and now daughter is going to be a nurse.......yea, you lost your husband and its terrible...however look at all the wonderful blessings you got now....I would be *looking* at the past but not *starring* at it as starring at it takes your eyes of those great kids, and the grandchildren and your daughters gonna be a nurse......sounds like you got a GREAT 2nd chance at happiness....
for that i am glad...yea, its hard...real hard, but nothing is "over the head" of your Higher power who lives within you and is there for you 24/7......
Sweet lady I know exactly how you feel. I can't believe it's been a year for you and next month it will be me. The only thing I can tell is you to let the tears come. It's okay. I had a good cry last night. I feel much better today.
Try and focus on the positive. Chuck came home and he was able to see his family. You know he's up there with Tim and they are looking down on "their girls" and smiling at what strong women we are. We have lots of good memories (and some not so good) to get us through these times. Look into your grandchild's eyes and see Chuck. He's right there with you and your family. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
