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Sitting back relaxing and getting caught up in our recovery. Nothing better to do. I was acting out today (not in the old crazy way) in a way I was taught by a former sponsor. I use to do the Serenity Prayer literally doing all the definition of what and could and could not change all by myself. Anything that sounded, felt, looked like or seemed unchangeable I'd just accept...can't do it; its a gonner. Courage to change the things I can wasn't much of a list and the wisdom to know the difference was a no brainer because I was just accepting, doing nothing else and looking smug.
Until I had a sit down with a sponsor who I revealed my awesome method of working the Serenity Prayer to. After I gave a couple of examples of things I accepted that were going on around me and which I put into the acceptance file and made no attempt at, he asked me "How would you know if it was or wasn't something you could or couldn't change if you never made the attempt and if you never made the attempt how would you reach the wisdom level?" That kinda talk use to leave me confused so I wouldn't deal with the depth of it again just accepting it and letting it go without thought or attempt. But then I am a person who gets hooked on the answers to questions. I like learning and I love puzzles. My sponsor knew that I think and knew I would pull out the Serenity Bone again and chew on it. The fact is that I would never know if I didn't make an attempt and not all conditions are in concrete and cannot be altered if I have more and better tools.
One of the members of a distant community down the coast requested an appeal to a newly approved liquor application for evidence he had uncovered. I just happened to pick up a local newspaper and found out. I cancelled my subscription to newspapers years ago and rarely watch negative reporting but then this wasn't in that category and I am an activist of sorts regarding comprehensive alcohol controls. I have a legislative proposal in the capitol (truthfully its been in two various capitols...sigh) which has been reacted to but then maybe the politicians are using the Old Serenity Prayer as I use to do it on the proposal. Anyhow I turned up the heat and contact the man who appealed who also happens to be a recovering person and we talked and I found that there would be another community meeting today to which I "just" moseyed down to. It wasn't what I expected (My HP does that special for me...keeps me quiet and praying and asking for guidence) and I was not what they were expecting either...aha fair play. Dang we got a ton of public service uniformed high grade officers...a ton!! Only three stayed and given the opportunity to speak to them and the community members who where there directed the meeting toward solutions which I am proposing will call the alcohol manufacturers, distributors and point-of-sale people to the solution table. When the community speaks of "we" need to do this or do that, they need to include the alcohol people and soooo like my sponsor suggested I am in that attempt stage...can I be a part of the change or am I gonna just write it and all of my education and experience off?
It is always kind of like a strange setting for me and I can't decide if I am the only visitor to the zoo or the only animal...Know what I mean?
Of course I'll do followup with the family. You all hold me up.
Hey Jerry, that is funny, I have been verging on sticking my toe into the local waters here, too- it usually kind of takes up a lot of time and energy and I often lose serenity when I do this (in other places, I just moved here so I have not done so here) so I usually avoid such situations always sitting off to the side thinking none of this is my business, I will just accept what comes : ) sounds familiar to what you wrote about.
Yet this is my home now. Do I get involved or not? Do I flourish where I am planted? What does that look like? Am I planted anywhere?
Its a great point your sponsor made- making an attempt. But boy that could just as easily be a slippery slope/ set up for me as its an expectation factory when one works on something...I admire your courage to try, to grapple, to go in there and see, to keep an open mind, to know when to fold 'em and walk away, to know when to persist- that is all a heck of a lot of navigating I do not have enough program to do quite yet but it sure is nice to see this role modeled! Thanks for the inspiration and for the ongoing growth that I get to learn from. hugs, J.
my take, give me the peace to accept what i cannot change--------------FIRST I gotta feel my feelings....GOT to FEEL 1st, b4 I can go any further..
give me the courage to change what what I can----------OK, give it a try...if it is to change another person/place/thing, I am in danagerouls water, however i CAN emotionally detach to see if the other is going to look at themselves and maybe address their issues...maybe the loss of me will "wake them up??"...but don't hold my breath....NO EXPECTATION.....as to place??? give it a try if it is feasible or accept as is and either accept it or reject it......as to thing?? there again, WHAT can i change???? DO i really want to change it (if it is too much painfulwork?? do I really want to go there???)...........usually the only thing I can change is MY attitude....MY perception.....MY expectations.....WITHIN ME
and the wisdom to know the diference......IF i start feeling the "crazies" I am needing to STOP and think "is this time to turn over to my hp???" if i am beating my head against the wall, its time to STOP and THINK about this.....USUALLY , I find that the only thing I can change is ME....MY perception....MY expectations.....MY accepting or rejecting person/place/thing AS THEY ARE and changing ME
Thanks for the feeback sisters and LOL CG...I always am open to new angles and will take your ESH and really consider it. If it leans that way then I know I've never been good at keeping the animals in their cages or a circle. I love it. So far the drinkers are in a smaller group than the rest of the community and I suggested yesterday that they can do as a wider group much better than just a small one. This teases my imagination and so it's time to laugh about it as I consider what my next part is. It's been suggested by some closer to the rooms of legislation that I start a "grass roots" run at it and the child within shrinks and says, "but aren't root surrounded by dirt and worms and other stuff"? HP leads and advises and I do HP's will as best I can with what I have. I'm doing it from the love angle. I do love my home, the place where my soul was created and I love the people and culture. Learning to love those who are not in that same place is where the work is. "Love anyway".
I invite your feedback all the time Jean including any "have you tried?" suggestions. I don't know it all and believe it can be done.
