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It's stupid! I went to do laundry today and there was a small bottle of vodka and two flight bottles of flavored vodka. I took them out and put them in a bag nearby. I found out later that my dad took them out of my mom's purse and hid them there! It's stupid. My mom hides her drinking and my dad (who is also an alcoholic) spends time looking for her bottles - empty ones he puts in with our recycle and last nite he found ones that weren't empty and hid them. Mom doesn't do the laundry so he hid them there b/c it was an easy and quick ("i didn't have much time") spot.
I kept asking him what he wanted for Father's Day and he said a good weekend. I finally was a smart alec yesterday and said well if everyone is sober we will. His response was as long as you mom stays away from the vodka we will and again i said repeated my comment about everyone being sober and he said that him having a few beers is no problem and that he's told me before there's more alcohol in vodka than in beer.
i don't know. it's all stupid! the only nite my mom was sober this week was wednesday - she was drunk mon nite, tues nite, thurs nite, and last nite (fri nite). my dad was drunk tues nite and last nite.
I agree it is stupid. I also admit that I cut my finger several years ago digging in the kitchen garbage at 11;30 P.M. checking to see how many beers my wife had consumed that day. I still have the scar to remind me of my stupidity. Believe it or not I was mad at her for a second because I had cut my finger. She was asleep. "Stupid is as stupid does". I'm just as guilty as your father.The disease affected me in so many ways that I was not aware of untill I entered the rooms of Al-Anon. I realized I had as many problems as the A in my life. I had so much to "unlearn'. The three things I learned that help me more that anyone can imagine was first, to take care of myself, second, to detach with love, and third, and most important, to turn my AW over to my HP. All that took time, it did not happen overnight, but it changed my life for the better.
Your mother and father are going to do what they are going to do. Why? Because such is the disease of alcoholism. I understand from your post how their drinking is affecting you, but you have to keep telling yourself there is absolutely nothing you can do to correct, or control their disease. You are young with your life in front of you. Even though you hate to see the disease continue to take over your parents lives, and take away from yours, it is very important to take care of yourself. If you are not going to f2f meeting, please consider going. That is exactly what I did, and will be forever grateful.
If I were you I would strongly consider trying what worked for me. I detached from my AW, (with love), and turned her over to my HP, 100%, I never interfered with the task I had gave my HP. I asked him to make her better, or make her worse, that I was sick and tired of the middle. HP does not always handle our problems in the time frame we would like, but he will handle them in his own time. I consider myself extremely lucky, because after years of being an alcoholic, my wife quit drinking on April 15th this year, and is still sober, for that I am truly grateful. As I stated in an earlier post, she did not tell me she was quiting, and has not mentioned it till this day. That does not matter, I am proud of her, and I will be there for her. I give all the credit to my HP whose decision was to make her better not worse, his choice.
Keep you head up, try to get to some meeting, and always take care of yourself first.
HUGS, RLC
-- Edited by RLC on Saturday 20th of June 2009 05:03:47 PM
-- Edited by RLC on Saturday 20th of June 2009 05:06:44 PM
Well at least you came here and vented! Do you go to f2f meetings?
That must be so miserable for you.
What can you do for yourself to make your life better?
love,debilyn
i was gonna say do you have a sponsor yet????? 12 steps workbooks???? i see a need in that.....it was good to come here and air your feelings, but program is about taking CARE OF YOU...like "D" says here "what can you do for YOU to make YOUR life better??????" these people are on their OWN course.....your not in control.....acceptance leads to freedom and freedom to taking care of you
