Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

agatha · agatha

Good Morning I would really like some feedback on this please.... For the past two years I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man who is 6 years sober and a very active member of AA. The problem is...although he is sober his disease has become quite active in the way of a food addition. I know this...

lonewolfmama · lonewolfmama

Hello on Sunday morning to everyone on the board. I love and hate to come here. Often I scroll though the stories and feel better, feel like I have enough strength for another day or hour. I just feel so tired, so so so tired of all the work and pretending and trying. I have a 16 mos old son with the A and in t...

DLS · DLS

Hi, I am new here, and I am wondering what to do about my sister. She was clean for almost a year. Now she is smoking pot from the moment she wakes up until she passes out at night. It is really negatively affecting her life in many ways. She has gotten extensions for all her assignments at college, using dep...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I would really be interested in talking to/learning from some double winners in the program -- that they qualify for more than one fellowship?

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

It's been a while since I have been here and the thing that has been jumping out at me lately is the fact that everything changes. When I first came here I was in despair because I had just walked out with three children and left my AH. Now, almost four years later it seems like something so small and insig...

Hopeless · Hopeless

Am I the only one on the boards with a PFA? I know in my situation each time he came home drunk the worse the situation was (binge drinker) He was becoming angier (as I was) and angier, it went from him just denying it and passing out to verbal abuse, then at times physical... The verbal abu...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha ((((All)))) Honesty seems to be the asset of focus at the moment and I am (and have for a while) listening for feedback from others in recovery for their perceptions; ESH. I will be grateful. Take your time and keep and open mind with good recovery memory. practice, practice, practice!! ...

daisygirl · daisygirl

I need to find the courage to end this relationship and the strength to let go of him completely and not look back. Today is the day, I am going to his house to talk, once again. I love him but I know as long as he is an A, we can never have a normal stable life. I have to let go, not only for me but for...

Madison1 · Madison1

Ok hes sober 90 days and leaves me after the last five years of me supporting him while he was drunk. He got his good job back and now wants freedom and no responsibility because he is focusing on sobriety. In rehab he made promises to correct the wrongs he done now he realizes thats too stressful and too...

daisygirl · daisygirl

So, yes... I ended my relationship with him and can't get him out of my head. All weekend, I thought of him... why is it that when I think it is best to end things, correction.... KNOW it is best for me to end things, I beat myself up about it. I seem to only want him more. So, I could not take it anymore... Su...

shellsea · shellsea

On resentment... i guess i am doing a lot of things i don't want to do, feeling like i am trapped. A program friend suggested that i hold resentments to things that i force myself to do and do not want to do for my spouse. i keep working the program, but underneath it all, cannot accept the relationship i...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Need clarification here if possible........I have trouble sometimes with what is the disease vs. what is not. Especially because a lot of people who go through things such as what we all go through and deal with regarding break ups etc, dont even have an alcoholic or addict for a spouse or ex-spouse...

ayjay · ayjay

Well I tink it is pretty correct to say, my ex will do what he can to knock me down, more so if I try and let him see im moving on, getting strong, and keeping firm boundaries with him. He felt the need to leave a message on my phone last night, because I was not answering his calls. He felt the need to let me know...

Hopeless · Hopeless

The more I read some of the post on this site the more I realize that I'm SOOO not alone! Majority of the stories are my own especially the calling, texting, emails, threatening to kill himself, etc... THANK GOD I FOUND THIS MESSAGE BOARD!!!!!

New Member = ( · Hopeless

Hello... I'm new and lost = ( I've been with J for 3 years, we have a beautiful 20 month old daughter and I have a 12 year old son. "J" is a binge drinker he can go months/weeks without drinking but once he steps foot into a bar he can't leave... He choice of drink is hard liquor (Jagerm...

gandalf92478 · gandalf92478

So, I have a choice and I need help making it. I am leaving St. Thomas. I have already bought my dad a plane ticket back to the states. a) give my dad 200.00(1st months rent) to let him stay on St. Thomas and recv unemployment benifits and stay on a boat for 6 months. b) Say no Im not giving you any more money...

Maria123 · Maria123

Invitation to Happiness was the theme for the Massachusetts State Convention this weekend. Boy am I glad I accepted this invitation . . . a weekend of meetings, fellowship, friendships reunited and new ones made . . . what a gift. We had over 500 in attendance from all over New England. We had two membe...

Destynee · Destynee

He called last night to say he was thrown out and to pick him up. It was 11PM. I had 2 sleeping kids. No way was I going. So they let him stay overnight and I have to get him today. It's only 5 days he was there and that was detox. I'm at my wits end.

gandalf92478 · gandalf92478

Hello Friends, My name is Dustin. I am very new. In fact this is my first time even researching my issue. I was sent here by my aunt because she thought this would help. I belive my dad is an alcoholic and uses me. My dad hasn't had a job for months. And, this is not the first time he has mooched off of me. I am co...

oppida · oppida

On Thursday I talked to H about his drinking. I started out nagging and being "mommy" and then stopped myself and talked to him in "I" statements and actually expressed my emotions (something that is VERY hard for me). I told him that I was scared about his drinking, scared that...

bchgurl249 · bchgurl249

Hello Everyone, I'm totally new to Alanon. My mom is an alcoholic and has been for years. She also takes anti-anxiety meds and depression meds. She doesn't think she has a problem. The family, my brother, father and I have tried to talk to her with no results. My dad ended up leaving for a few days a...

Acatnip · Acatnip

After a tumultious beginning to the new year chronicled by my posts here, it seems things are finally looking better and on the upswing. AH is finally in therapy and going faithfully to his AA meetings. He has sought support from our family doctor and is learning to live one day at a time. I have not retur...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting due to commitment with my lawyer. Hopefully, another OP will be available and if not, another member could step up to chair the meeting. Thanks

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I KNOW meetings help. I KNOW I need to be in the rooms. But why is it so hard to get there? I know I need a program in my life - so why do Iresist giving myself over to it completely? I promise myself I am going to go to a meeting - then I do not go and I beat myself up, lose hope and credibility. I must remember - nothi...

maresie · maresie

One of my new insights is that my family of origin had an attitude of contempt and derision for certain people and that never changed no matter what happened that didn't change. When I come across a person like the ex A who exhibits the same contempt and derision I was hooked in by not being able to accept...

miss lucy · miss lucy

hi everyone. have been so busy studying i havent had chance to pop in for a while. am doing great with my dog trainer course - i have one more test to do and then i am fully qualified! my business is starting to take shape and i have just been accepted as a foster carer for one of the local voluntary rescue org...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I've been thinking a lot the past few days about my family of origin and how dysfunctional it was and still is. My mom seems to want to live in a complete atmosphere of chaos and drama - every day it seems like there's something else that's stressing her out (i.e. a good reason to drink). My stepfather tr...

AmberB · AmberB

I've been married to my husband, a recovering alcoholic for almost 3 years now. While he hasn't had an alcohol slip up for almost year now, he has turned to strong anti-anxiety medications. In August 2008, he took a whole bottle of calanopin and acted drunk the entire night. I called his therapist aft...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I feel as though I keep getting punished over and over again. In the months before my split from my 20 year relationship with my A. I somewhat pushed him away. I did things I'm not proud of and then when he blindsided me and up and left and things spiraled out of control, it was to late. He keeps hitting w...

ayjay · ayjay

As expected, my ex finally got in touch to talk about the baby that is due in a few weeks. He wanted to be there at the birth, and for me to pop round and see him from sometimes. I was kind of going along with it, then after the call it just didn't feel right. Why pop round and see him? He swears there is noone e...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi Eveyone, been having a bit of a tough time my ex ABF is letting himself in my house when my son was in before I got home from work. He was drunk been on a bender for a week. He asked me to take him to the hospital that he wants to go to rehab he wants to die. I took him but really did not want to be there. I rang m...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello My Friends, Its been months since I have posted. I'm doing okay. I once again reconciled with my A Hubby and we are experiencing a nice sober marriage. One day at a time! That's all we can do! He is actively working his program through our chruch and I'm taking care of me. We try our best not to i...

Destynee · Destynee

H went into rehab on Wednesday. I had to ask his family for the 250.00 copay because he left us with nothing. My MIL was not told about this, my FIL told me not to say anything (they are divorced). But she ended up paying the copay and sent me a nasty letter and ending it with "tell him we love him and su...

oppida · oppida

Hi I'm new here and new to the understanding that my husband is probably an alcoholic. :( H has always drank. But, it wasn't till recently that I realized that he is a binge drinker and must have a problem. I have not confronted him, as it has not been a problem I have recognized till now. Here is his drinki...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I've been working really hard lately. I decided to take the afternoon off and visit a couple of stores I like without my children - walk nice and slow down the aisles and enjoy myself, etc. :) It's nice to be able to do this once in a while and to believe that I deserve having some time to myself. It's nic...

MissyPoo · MissyPoo

I have recently started to take actions to show myself how much I love me. Got a new haircut, some nice highlights, some new stylish shoes and some new clothes. This week I joined a gym (with a daycare, so I don't need to depend on AH to watch the kids) and have actually gone twice now. In fact, the kids d...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

I constantly find myself unconsciusly making plans to when my AH gets sober. Then I snap out of it and I remember that maybe that will never happen. But I struggle between facing my reality and giving up hope. I don't know I guess a part of me does not ever want to think that this is the way things will be for...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Well, I know I posted earlier when I had finally moved out of the house with my ex-A but, I've been here for almost a month and a half and things are harder. Admittedly I have been drinking more, myself - trying to escape the feelings of dissatisfaction with my life. If I have not already shared this before...

CJ recovery · CJ recovery

My pal, I'll call him H, had a lot of stamina despite being some 35 years older than I. From the moment we met, we hit it off. We chummed around together, sailed together, skiid together. We'd have a few beers and soak in the sunset with the wind on our faces, truly enjoying the joys of nature. I knew H...

Destynee · Destynee

He came back last night and asked for help. He made the phone calls last night and this morning. I just drove him there. Strangely, as I was sitting next to him taking him there, I felt nothing. I felt no emotion except relief. Selfish relief. That he wasn't on the streets or his "friends"...

daisygirl · daisygirl

In my heart I love him so much but in my head, I know he can never be the man I need him to be. So, why does my heart and mind have to have this struggle? Since my last post, so much has happened. We had another heart to heart talk. I asked him to quit for 30 days, to prove to himself and me that he could do it. He...

sdisnie · sdisnie

It's all mind over matter. I know this. It's not time that heals the wounds, it's your entire mind set. Almost like the alcoholic when they are on the sober AA path. I used to see the change in his brain....the difference between when he was actively drinking vs when he was on the sober path and attend...

John · John

Do you love an alcoholic? How can you live with an alcoholic and love them at the same time? Very carefully. It’s true, it is very difficult to live with an alcoholic, but people do it all the time. Alcohol controls the mind and spirit of a person, so in affect as long as the alcoholic is drinking you will no...

Member in China? · lyndebi

Didn't one of us go to China to see her new grandbaby? Who was it? They had a bad earthquake. ?

New member · dusty58

I have only just discovered that my sister (she's 53) is an alcoholic. She and I are very close and although she has a family of her own and lives a distance away from me it has made me really sad and guilty. I feel so sad for her with this illness and so guilty that I never knew and couldn't be there for her. She...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Morning Alanon family, This morning my heart aches immensely as I have lost a beacon of light in my life. Yesterday afternoon my father (step - although I have not called him that part for years) passed away suddenly. Jim came into my life in my early teens and I had made the decision quickly to hate him...

Love Always Hopes · Love Always Hopes

First, sorry to be so needy. It feels like I've been posting a lot and I'm really pretty new here still...It's wierd how for a year this all seemed to be a slow fade into a bad situation and suddenly it's like we are on the Audubon to hell on earth! I've been doing stuff for me this week. First time in a very...

Gailey · Gailey

My son was sober when I got home from work. I went next door to talk to him. It was nice to see him sober. I told him that too (does that apply pressure to the A?) I went out last night and when I got back home he came outside to help me carry things in the house. It was obvious he was drinking. I couldn't talk to...

Gailey · Gailey

Last night I went to a Monday night meeting that I haven't been going to in a while. I did 2 things that really even surprised me. 1) signed up to open a meeting in May (first time ever) 2) ask someone to sponser me....YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! It is a lady that has been in program for many years and when I get back fr...

bethjudi · bethjudi

Thank goodness I found this board. My ALO is recently returned home from his second round of treatment from an addiction with hydrocodone. Things are different this time. He's different, which I know is a good thing but at this time he seems very confused and unsure of his feelings and his life. H...

One4Life · One4Life

I loved an alcoholic who I knew for over 30 years and was married to for 12 of those years. He severly abused alcohol for 15-20 years. I moved back home 10 years ago, back to Northern California from Lexington KY. I left because My ex husband, Ray's parting words to me was that he "wasn't going to sto...

tlynna · tlynna

I'm writing for your thoughts on cutting off my husband's financial access. I dated my husband for 2.5 years and then married him 1.5 years ago. He is a good person (think Indigo1's earlier post) who has slowly degraded and is now verbally and mentally abusive when drinking. Prior to our marriage, m...

Love Always Hopes · Love Always Hopes

I came to a point this week of just not being able to take it anymore. We dropped the kids off (we only get them every other weekend) after a hard weekend with them but good time together. We had a great talk on the way home about kid stuff. We got home and immediately he was gone into the bathroom and the dr...

Destynee · Destynee

The H left on Thursday to go and use. On Sunday he called for his extra set of truck keys as he lost his. He met me at a corner store near where he was staying. I gave them to him and he said "I won't bother you again, I'm done." I said ok. He said the same thing and I said ok. He said I can't believe y...

miss lucy · miss lucy

Last night i had the misfortune to witness first hand the tragic consequences of a drinker out of control. My friend, and don't get me wrong he is one heck of a guy when he is sober, had been out with some mates drinking and celebrating finding a new job after being unemployed for over 18 months. He had als...

Tracy · Tracy

Another al anon member asked me if I had done any step work with my sponsor. She said she was given questions on each step to complete and then discussed th answers. I have been sponsered for over to years. My sponsor is great and we have long chat she has learnt me a lot. I have done tried an attempt at a s...

wp · wp

It has nothing to do with me...repeat....nothing to do with me....repeat.....I didn't cause it.......can't cure, can't control......nothing to do with me. Right? wp

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, Thanks for all who replied to my "hurting" post. I love having a safe place to come to vent. Most of the time I am looking for just that a vent. I love also that I can come here and get ESH and NOT advice. I have enough people telling me what to do, and I love that here I can learn from what yo...

SeekingPeace · SeekingPeace

I've been lurking around here for a little while but finally got the courage to join and post my story. I apologize in advance for the length, but it helps me to read other people's experiences...and let's be honest, it's very cathartic to just "get it out." I'm 24 years old, and my mother is a...

angelchar375 · angelchar375

I saw ah over the weekend. He is a drug addict, lately heroin has taken over... And it was our sons 3rd birthday. So he came along. And I did great with handing over the situation to my HP. I didn't get into his stuff. And we actually spent some nice time the next day together. But it was sooo sad to see him. At o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ESH Please (Preview) Good Morning I would really like some feedback on this please.... For the past two years I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man who is 6 years sober and a very active member of AA. The problem is...although he is sober his disease has become quite active in the way of a food addition. I know this...	agatha	5	612	Apr 20, 2010 by agatha
	The only way to sanity-leave the A? (Preview) Hello on Sunday morning to everyone on the board. I love and hate to come here. Often I scroll though the stories and feel better, feel like I have enough strength for another day or hour. I just feel so tired, so so so tired of all the work and pretending and trying. I have a 16 mos old son with the A and in t...	lonewolfmama	15	1121	Apr 20, 2010 by maire rua
	sister in active addiction...what boundaries to set? (Preview) Hi, I am new here, and I am wondering what to do about my sister. She was clean for almost a year. Now she is smoking pot from the moment she wakes up until she passes out at night. It is really negatively affecting her life in many ways. She has gotten extensions for all her assignments at college, using dep...	DLS	7	1093	Apr 20, 2010 by maresie
	Any double winners? (Preview) I would really be interested in talking to/learning from some double winners in the program -- that they qualify for more than one fellowship?	RunnerChick	4	489	Apr 20, 2010 by maire rua
	Everything changes. (long) (Preview) It's been a while since I have been here and the thing that has been jumping out at me lately is the fact that everything changes. When I first came here I was in despair because I had just walked out with three children and left my AH. Now, almost four years later it seems like something so small and insig...	carolinagirl	6	681	Apr 20, 2010 by Mandy123
	Progressively worse... (Preview) Am I the only one on the boards with a PFA? I know in my situation each time he came home drunk the worse the situation was (binge drinker) He was becoming angier (as I was) and angier, it went from him just denying it and passing out to verbal abuse, then at times physical... The verbal abu...	Hopeless	6	1237	Apr 20, 2010 by Hopeless
	Honesty discussion... (Preview) Aloha ((((All)))) Honesty seems to be the asset of focus at the moment and I am (and have for a while) listening for feedback from others in recovery for their perceptions; ESH. I will be grateful. Take your time and keep and open mind with good recovery memory. practice, practice, practice!! ...	Jerry F	11	5042	Apr 20, 2010 by Mandy123
	Today (Preview) I need to find the courage to end this relationship and the strength to let go of him completely and not look back. Today is the day, I am going to his house to talk, once again. I love him but I know as long as he is an A, we can never have a normal stable life. I have to let go, not only for me but for...	daisygirl	10	937	Apr 20, 2010 by Mandy123
	The aftermath (Preview) Ok hes sober 90 days and leaves me after the last five years of me supporting him while he was drunk. He got his good job back and now wants freedom and no responsibility because he is focusing on sobriety. In rehab he made promises to correct the wrongs he done now he realizes thats too stressful and too...	Madison1	5	959	Apr 20, 2010 by Mandy123
	Addicted to A (Preview) So, yes... I ended my relationship with him and can't get him out of my head. All weekend, I thought of him... why is it that when I think it is best to end things, correction.... KNOW it is best for me to end things, I beat myself up about it. I seem to only want him more. So, I could not take it anymore... Su...	daisygirl	7	1189	Apr 20, 2010 by nmike
	On Resentment (Preview) On resentment... i guess i am doing a lot of things i don't want to do, feeling like i am trapped. A program friend suggested that i hold resentments to things that i force myself to do and do not want to do for my spouse. i keep working the program, but underneath it all, cannot accept the relationship i...	shellsea	5	550	Apr 20, 2010 by shellsea
	Which one is the disease? (Preview) Need clarification here if possible........I have trouble sometimes with what is the disease vs. what is not. Especially because a lot of people who go through things such as what we all go through and deal with regarding break ups etc, dont even have an alcoholic or addict for a spouse or ex-spouse...	sdisnie	12	951	Apr 20, 2010 by lyndebi
	Numb (Preview) Well I tink it is pretty correct to say, my ex will do what he can to knock me down, more so if I try and let him see im moving on, getting strong, and keeping firm boundaries with him. He felt the need to leave a message on my phone last night, because I was not answering his calls. He felt the need to let me know...	ayjay	2	537	Apr 20, 2010 by lyndebi
	Wow... (Preview) The more I read some of the post on this site the more I realize that I'm SOOO not alone! Majority of the stories are my own especially the calling, texting, emails, threatening to kill himself, etc... THANK GOD I FOUND THIS MESSAGE BOARD!!!!!	Hopeless	2	547	Apr 20, 2010 by lyndebi
	New Member = ( (Preview) Hello... I'm new and lost = ( I've been with J for 3 years, we have a beautiful 20 month old daughter and I have a 12 year old son. "J" is a binge drinker he can go months/weeks without drinking but once he steps foot into a bar he can't leave... He choice of drink is hard liquor (Jagerm...	Hopeless	12	882	Apr 20, 2010 by Hopeless
	Where do I draw the line when setting boundries? Boundries line help do choice ultimatum (Preview) So, I have a choice and I need help making it. I am leaving St. Thomas. I have already bought my dad a plane ticket back to the states. a) give my dad 200.00(1st months rent) to let him stay on St. Thomas and recv unemployment benifits and stay on a boat for 6 months. b) Say no Im not giving you any more money...	gandalf92478	6	5208	Apr 19, 2010 by maresie
	Invitation to Happiness (Preview) Invitation to Happiness was the theme for the Massachusetts State Convention this weekend. Boy am I glad I accepted this invitation . . . a weekend of meetings, fellowship, friendships reunited and new ones made . . . what a gift. We had over 500 in attendance from all over New England. We had two membe...	Maria123	4	958	Apr 19, 2010 by Mandy123
	H got thrown out of rehab for fighting (Preview) He called last night to say he was thrown out and to pick him up. It was 11PM. I had 2 sleeping kids. No way was I going. So they let him stay overnight and I have to get him today. It's only 5 days he was there and that was detox. I'm at my wits end.	Destynee	5	929	Apr 19, 2010 by Jerry F
	Help DAD Enable Atheist Stop Enabling New to this New Help (Preview) Hello Friends, My name is Dustin. I am very new. In fact this is my first time even researching my issue. I was sent here by my aunt because she thought this would help. I belive my dad is an alcoholic and uses me. My dad hasn't had a job for months. And, this is not the first time he has mooched off of me. I am co...	gandalf92478	6	8684	Apr 19, 2010 by Jerry F
	I feel crazy! (Preview) On Thursday I talked to H about his drinking. I started out nagging and being "mommy" and then stopped myself and talked to him in "I" statements and actually expressed my emotions (something that is VERY hard for me). I told him that I was scared about his drinking, scared that...	oppida	10	820	Apr 19, 2010 by oppida
	New to the group..Hello (Preview) Hello Everyone, I'm totally new to Alanon. My mom is an alcoholic and has been for years. She also takes anti-anxiety meds and depression meds. She doesn't think she has a problem. The family, my brother, father and I have tried to talk to her with no results. My dad ended up leaving for a few days a...	bchgurl249	6	819	Apr 19, 2010 by Andrea12
	Is Anyone Ever Successful? (Preview) After a tumultious beginning to the new year chronicled by my posts here, it seems things are finally looking better and on the upswing. AH is finally in therapy and going faithfully to his AA meetings. He has sought support from our family doctor and is learning to live one day at a time. I have not retur...	Acatnip	11	1365	Apr 19, 2010 by mon123
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting due to commitment with my lawyer. Hopefully, another OP will be available and if not, another member could step up to chair the meeting. Thanks	shimo	0	325	Apr 19, 2010 by shimo
	Getting back into the rooms... (Preview) I KNOW meetings help. I KNOW I need to be in the rooms. But why is it so hard to get there? I know I need a program in my life - so why do Iresist giving myself over to it completely? I promise myself I am going to go to a meeting - then I do not go and I beat myself up, lose hope and credibility. I must remember - nothi...	RunnerChick	10	807	Apr 19, 2010 by canadianguy
	Attitude (Preview) One of my new insights is that my family of origin had an attitude of contempt and derision for certain people and that never changed no matter what happened that didn't change. When I come across a person like the ex A who exhibits the same contempt and derision I was hooked in by not being able to accept...	maresie	8	1267	Apr 18, 2010 by nmike
	fresh hope and a new future looming (Preview) hi everyone. have been so busy studying i havent had chance to pop in for a while. am doing great with my dog trainer course - i have one more test to do and then i am fully qualified! my business is starting to take shape and i have just been accepted as a foster carer for one of the local voluntary rescue org...	miss lucy	2	687	Apr 18, 2010 by nmike
	Reliving old feelings from family of origin (Preview) I've been thinking a lot the past few days about my family of origin and how dysfunctional it was and still is. My mom seems to want to live in a complete atmosphere of chaos and drama - every day it seems like there's something else that's stressing her out (i.e. a good reason to drink). My stepfather tr...	White Rabbit	4	658	Apr 18, 2010 by bchgurl249
	New here---need guidance (Preview) I've been married to my husband, a recovering alcoholic for almost 3 years now. While he hasn't had an alcohol slip up for almost year now, he has turned to strong anti-anxiety medications. In August 2008, he took a whole bottle of calanopin and acted drunk the entire night. I called his therapist aft...	AmberB	9	963	Apr 18, 2010 by mon123
	Another step back (Preview) I feel as though I keep getting punished over and over again. In the months before my split from my 20 year relationship with my A. I somewhat pushed him away. I did things I'm not proud of and then when he blindsided me and up and left and things spiraled out of control, it was to late. He keeps hitting w...	sdisnie	4	699	Apr 18, 2010 by Jean4444
	Beyond anger, in hurt and fear, but now what? (Preview) As expected, my ex finally got in touch to talk about the baby that is due in a few weeks. He wanted to be there at the birth, and for me to pop round and see him from sometimes. I was kind of going along with it, then after the call it just didn't feel right. Why pop round and see him? He swears there is noone e...	ayjay	6	953	Apr 18, 2010 by Jean4444
	self care (Preview) Hi Eveyone, been having a bit of a tough time my ex ABF is letting himself in my house when my son was in before I got home from work. He was drunk been on a bender for a week. He asked me to take him to the hospital that he wants to go to rehab he wants to die. I took him but really did not want to be there. I rang m...	Tracy	3	737	Apr 18, 2010 by Jean4444
	.....miss you guys!!! (Preview) Hello My Friends, Its been months since I have posted. I'm doing okay. I once again reconciled with my A Hubby and we are experiencing a nice sober marriage. One day at a time! That's all we can do! He is actively working his program through our chruch and I'm taking care of me. We try our best not to i...	Sincerely	5	816	Apr 18, 2010 by wp
	His and my families putting pressure on me in different directions-I can't deal with it. (Preview) H went into rehab on Wednesday. I had to ask his family for the 250.00 copay because he left us with nothing. My MIL was not told about this, my FIL told me not to say anything (they are divorced). But she ended up paying the copay and sent me a nasty letter and ending it with "tell him we love him and su...	Destynee	7	1106	Apr 18, 2010 by wp
	New Member: What is he? What am I in for? What do I do? (Preview) Hi I'm new here and new to the understanding that my husband is probably an alcoholic. :( H has always drank. But, it wasn't till recently that I realized that he is a binge drinker and must have a problem. I have not confronted him, as it has not been a problem I have recognized till now. Here is his drinki...	oppida	12	1050	Apr 18, 2010 by xeno59
	Happy Friday! (Preview) I've been working really hard lately. I decided to take the afternoon off and visit a couple of stores I like without my children - walk nice and slow down the aisles and enjoy myself, etc. :) It's nice to be able to do this once in a while and to believe that I deserve having some time to myself. It's nic...	White Rabbit	3	708	Apr 18, 2010 by Tracy
	Starting to love Me... (Preview) I have recently started to take actions to show myself how much I love me. Got a new haircut, some nice highlights, some new stylish shoes and some new clothes. This week I joined a gym (with a daycare, so I don't need to depend on AH to watch the kids) and have actually gone twice now. In fact, the kids d...	MissyPoo	3	775	Apr 18, 2010 by Tracy
	To give up hope? (Preview) I constantly find myself unconsciusly making plans to when my AH gets sober. Then I snap out of it and I remember that maybe that will never happen. But I struggle between facing my reality and giving up hope. I don't know I guess a part of me does not ever want to think that this is the way things will be for...	Priscilla83	12	1039	Apr 18, 2010 by tlcate
	I've been away again... but now I'm back (Preview) Well, I know I posted earlier when I had finally moved out of the house with my ex-A but, I've been here for almost a month and a half and things are harder. Admittedly I have been drinking more, myself - trying to escape the feelings of dissatisfaction with my life. If I have not already shared this before...	RunnerChick	5	827	Apr 17, 2010 by ythannah
	He was an alcoholic? (Preview) My pal, I'll call him H, had a lot of stamina despite being some 35 years older than I. From the moment we met, we hit it off. We chummed around together, sailed together, skiid together. We'd have a few beers and soak in the sunset with the wind on our faces, truly enjoying the joys of nature. I knew H...	CJ recovery	8	809	Apr 17, 2010 by tlcate
	Took H to rehab today (Preview) He came back last night and asked for help. He made the phone calls last night and this morning. I just drove him there. Strangely, as I was sitting next to him taking him there, I felt nothing. I felt no emotion except relief. Selfish relief. That he wasn't on the streets or his "friends"...	Destynee	4	811	Apr 17, 2010 by Acatnip
	so much has happened since my first post (Preview) In my heart I love him so much but in my head, I know he can never be the man I need him to be. So, why does my heart and mind have to have this struggle? Since my last post, so much has happened. We had another heart to heart talk. I asked him to quit for 30 days, to prove to himself and me that he could do it. He...	daisygirl	5	782	Apr 17, 2010 by lyndebi
	It's all mind over matter (Preview) It's all mind over matter. I know this. It's not time that heals the wounds, it's your entire mind set. Almost like the alcoholic when they are on the sober AA path. I used to see the change in his brain....the difference between when he was actively drinking vs when he was on the sober path and attend...	sdisnie	6	684	Apr 17, 2010 by Jerry F
	Do You Love An Alcoholic? (Preview) Do you love an alcoholic? How can you live with an alcoholic and love them at the same time? Very carefully. It’s true, it is very difficult to live with an alcoholic, but people do it all the time. Alcohol controls the mind and spirit of a person, so in affect as long as the alcoholic is drinking you will no...	John	4	1929	Apr 16, 2010 by Rose
	Member in China? (Preview) Didn't one of us go to China to see her new grandbaby? Who was it? They had a bad earthquake. ?	lyndebi	4	1356	Apr 16, 2010 by lyndebi
	New member (Preview) I have only just discovered that my sister (she's 53) is an alcoholic. She and I are very close and although she has a family of her own and lives a distance away from me it has made me really sad and guilty. I feel so sad for her with this illness and so guilty that I never knew and couldn't be there for her. She...	dusty58	4	683	Apr 16, 2010 by nmike
	Heart that hurts... (Preview) Morning Alanon family, This morning my heart aches immensely as I have lost a beacon of light in my life. Yesterday afternoon my father (step - although I have not called him that part for years) passed away suddenly. Jim came into my life in my early teens and I had made the decision quickly to hate him...	AlaMom	15	1116	Apr 16, 2010 by Maria123
	Is this "normal"? (Preview) First, sorry to be so needy. It feels like I've been posting a lot and I'm really pretty new here still...It's wierd how for a year this all seemed to be a slow fade into a bad situation and suddenly it's like we are on the Audubon to hell on earth! I've been doing stuff for me this week. First time in a very...	Love Always Hopes	14	1118	Apr 16, 2010 by Karilynn
	compassion while they are drinking (Preview) My son was sober when I got home from work. I went next door to talk to him. It was nice to see him sober. I told him that too (does that apply pressure to the A?) I went out last night and when I got back home he came outside to help me carry things in the house. It was obvious he was drinking. I couldn't talk to...	Gailey	7	736	Apr 16, 2010 by Karilynn
	a big step for me last night (Preview) Last night I went to a Monday night meeting that I haven't been going to in a while. I did 2 things that really even surprised me. 1) signed up to open a meeting in May (first time ever) 2) ask someone to sponser me....YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! It is a lady that has been in program for many years and when I get back fr...	Gailey	6	1252	Apr 16, 2010 by Karilynn
	Need ESH !!!!! (Preview) Thank goodness I found this board. My ALO is recently returned home from his second round of treatment from an addiction with hydrocodone. Things are different this time. He's different, which I know is a good thing but at this time he seems very confused and unsure of his feelings and his life. H...	bethjudi	11	855	Apr 16, 2010 by bethjudi
	Loving yourself back to living (Preview) I loved an alcoholic who I knew for over 30 years and was married to for 12 of those years. He severly abused alcohol for 15-20 years. I moved back home 10 years ago, back to Northern California from Lexington KY. I left because My ex husband, Ray's parting words to me was that he "wasn't going to sto...	One4Life	6	722	Apr 16, 2010 by One4Life
	cutting off the finances (Preview) I'm writing for your thoughts on cutting off my husband's financial access. I dated my husband for 2.5 years and then married him 1.5 years ago. He is a good person (think Indigo1's earlier post) who has slowly degraded and is now verbally and mentally abusive when drinking. Prior to our marriage, m...	tlynna	10	680	Apr 15, 2010 by tlynna
	Need to Make Up My Mind - but it keeps shifting and I am so freakin weak!! (Preview) I came to a point this week of just not being able to take it anymore. We dropped the kids off (we only get them every other weekend) after a hard weekend with them but good time together. We had a great talk on the way home about kid stuff. We got home and immediately he was gone into the bathroom and the dr...	Love Always Hopes	10	1108	Apr 15, 2010 by Dyinginside
	Regretting my boundary that I set (Preview) The H left on Thursday to go and use. On Sunday he called for his extra set of truck keys as he lost his. He met me at a corner store near where he was staying. I gave them to him and he said "I won't bother you again, I'm done." I said ok. He said the same thing and I said ok. He said I can't believe y...	Destynee	9	818	Apr 14, 2010 by CJ recovery
	An innocent victim (Preview) Last night i had the misfortune to witness first hand the tragic consequences of a drinker out of control. My friend, and don't get me wrong he is one heck of a guy when he is sober, had been out with some mates drinking and celebrating finding a new job after being unemployed for over 18 months. He had als...	miss lucy	9	900	Apr 14, 2010 by wp
	Step work question (Preview) Another al anon member asked me if I had done any step work with my sponsor. She said she was given questions on each step to complete and then discussed th answers. I have been sponsered for over to years. My sponsor is great and we have long chat she has learnt me a lot. I have done tried an attempt at a s...	Tracy	6	889	Apr 14, 2010 by abbyal
	Drinking and personality change (Preview) It has nothing to do with me...repeat....nothing to do with me....repeat.....I didn't cause it.......can't cure, can't control......nothing to do with me. Right? wp	wp	5	1044	Apr 14, 2010 by wp
	Positive steps to a better me (Preview) Hi family, Thanks for all who replied to my "hurting" post. I love having a safe place to come to vent. Most of the time I am looking for just that a vent. I love also that I can come here and get ESH and NOT advice. I have enough people telling me what to do, and I love that here I can learn from what yo...	Mandy123	5	887	Apr 14, 2010 by Jean4444
	New here - my story (Preview) I've been lurking around here for a little while but finally got the courage to join and post my story. I apologize in advance for the length, but it helps me to read other people's experiences...and let's be honest, it's very cathartic to just "get it out." I'm 24 years old, and my mother is a...	SeekingPeace	8	1059	Apr 14, 2010 by RLC
	Nightmares (Preview) I saw ah over the weekend. He is a drug addict, lately heroin has taken over... And it was our sons 3rd birthday. So he came along. And I did great with handing over the situation to my HP. I didn't get into his stuff. And we actually spent some nice time the next day together. But it was sooo sad to see him. At o...	angelchar375	5	867	Apr 14, 2010 by Rita G
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.