Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

chaztazchaz · chaztazchaz

I have made it clear to my qualifier that he needs to get his own place. I am allowing him to stay here while he saves money for the next 30 days. Partially because he has a 14 yr old daughter here as well. I also made it clear that there will be no alcohol in this house during that time and if he comes here after d...

Jozie · Jozie

Wow What a Couple of weeks: I think, My Last Meeting (F2F) was about 2 weeks ago! Not good for me! I see Now why I continue to stay IN this program, for with out it, I Tend to go backwards... In that F2F, We Spoke on 4th Step, I had said that when left now to my own thoughts, they tend to be cloudy, now that I have &...

Hopeless · Hopeless

To the members that have children with A's... What type of boundaries to you set when it comes to the kids? Does your A have a custody order? How long did you allow the A to not see your kids? It's my understanding that as long as I have a PFA on him he is not allowed to have ANY contact with me but h...

Hopeless · Hopeless

Per court order A is suppose to give me child support money starting TODAY! I've been getting messages all week about how bad he wants to see his daughter, etc... I agreed on supervised visits starting on Monday... Let's just see how interested he is in the well being of our daughter.... *Fingers...

evaangel · evaangel

Hi I have posted on here before and found the strength to leave a 4 year marriage which was absolute misery due to violence, secret drinking and debt worries. To cut a long story short and not wishing to ramble on as I grew tired of my own self pity and guilt, resentment and had to dump that extra load off my b...

wp · wp

When Love is Not Enough, the Lois Wilson Story. New Hallmark movie on tv April 25. I can't wait to see it. wp

daisygirl · daisygirl

After leaving from his house at lunch, he has started emailing me and texting me, wanting to know if I am going to come over. He sent me this email after I left his house and ended our relationship: It breaks my heart to have to end things this way, I love you, you are the world to me. Please find it in yo...

daisygirl · daisygirl

I am leaving in about 30 mins. to go over to his house. My stomach is already rumbling with nerves and anxiety. One look at him and I know he will have me. I know for me, the best way is not to see him... but we always do. What will be different? I can already tell you what will happen... We will talk and h...

nmike · nmike

I go to our local AA meetings every Monday night. I offer to hold a separate meeting for Alanon and explain who Alanon is for. I have held a separate meeting maybe once a year. I just attend AA or go outside the room and read the readings. In the past month, I have had an Alanoner come twice. She is much younge...

agatha · agatha

Here is something I wish someone had told me 4 years ago..... If you even suspect that your marriage may be headed toward divorce...while you still have the chance...photocopy absolutly everything you can get your hands on. Every bank statement, pay stub, insurance form, income tax return, inv...

grammie · grammie

THE LOIS WILSON STORY WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH AIRS THIS SUNDAY THE 25TH ON CBS JUST A REMINDER>>CHECK FOR YOUR LOCAL TIME.... LOVE IN RECOVERY, GRAMMIE

Hopeless · Hopeless

Just found out that the A no longer thinks AA is for him... He said that he will get a sponser and go to meetings when HE thinks it's necessary = / I'm trying to not let this bother me personally it's his life he is the one with the problem... Just a bit disappointed... I'm going to contact Domes...

Hopeless · Hopeless

Online meetings would be ideal for me (do plan on going F2F since I really need it).. I don't get it though?!?!? Do you post what is bothering you and your done? Is there any feedback? Just looking for some guidance as to how it works = )

blender_girl · blender_girl

I have a doctor's appointment and will be unable to chair the meeting - if someone can step up and fill in for me, I would be most grateful! P.S. Thanks to kitty_of_light for filling in last week while I was completely bogged down with work and could not be there.

wp · wp

When Love is Not Enough; the story of Lois Wilson. This is a new Hallmark Hall of Fame movie, which is showing next Saturday April 25 on tv. wp

KellyCO · KellyCO

Thank Goddess for Al Anon. The program has helped me build of framework of sanity in a very hard time. I came to the point of complete saturation in being able to see my alcoholic wallow in his misery in our house and be emotionally unstable in front of the kids. They know their dad is depressed and that i...

intothewoods · intothewoods

Just have to vent here! I'm still living with my AH, due to separate and move 4 states away in late May after graduation from college. So there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but.... Living with his negativity is wearing me down! He is always angry, depressed, drunk or ALL OF THE ABOVE 24/7! He's had pl...

maresie · maresie

I work in a dysfunctional environment and live in one too. My roomates are addicts and alcoholics and seem to go out of their way to create and manufacture chaos. At one time I took this all tremendously personally. I saw both the situations as a marker that I was doomed (dramatic I know!). Lately I h...

xd · xd

Hello. I'm pretty new to AlAnon. I have been to four meetings, with three different groups. One of those meetings (a "beginner's meeting") consisted of just the moderator (a male) and myself. Another two of the meetings were just two ladies and myself...then last night I tried a differen...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

Hi all and thank you for your words of support and experience regarding my Abf-sober's son and possible pot abuse. Turns out he did in fact smoke pot a couple of times. My bf confronted him and gave him a chance to be honest. He fessed up and is "on lockdown" now --as he calls it--until the e...

Hopeless · Hopeless

He wanted me to know that his is 7 days sober (reminder he is a binge drinker and can months without drinking)... He says that he is working the program (which is the first time he has ever been to AA)... And that he wants to see his daughter, he is afraid that she is not going to remember him (she is 21 m...

agatha · agatha

Good Morning I would really like some feedback on this please.... For the past two years I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man who is 6 years sober and a very active member of AA. The problem is...although he is sober his disease has become quite active in the way of a food addition. I know this...

lonewolfmama · lonewolfmama

Hello on Sunday morning to everyone on the board. I love and hate to come here. Often I scroll though the stories and feel better, feel like I have enough strength for another day or hour. I just feel so tired, so so so tired of all the work and pretending and trying. I have a 16 mos old son with the A and in t...

DLS · DLS

Hi, I am new here, and I am wondering what to do about my sister. She was clean for almost a year. Now she is smoking pot from the moment she wakes up until she passes out at night. It is really negatively affecting her life in many ways. She has gotten extensions for all her assignments at college, using dep...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I would really be interested in talking to/learning from some double winners in the program -- that they qualify for more than one fellowship?

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

It's been a while since I have been here and the thing that has been jumping out at me lately is the fact that everything changes. When I first came here I was in despair because I had just walked out with three children and left my AH. Now, almost four years later it seems like something so small and insig...

Hopeless · Hopeless

Am I the only one on the boards with a PFA? I know in my situation each time he came home drunk the worse the situation was (binge drinker) He was becoming angier (as I was) and angier, it went from him just denying it and passing out to verbal abuse, then at times physical... The verbal abu...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha ((((All)))) Honesty seems to be the asset of focus at the moment and I am (and have for a while) listening for feedback from others in recovery for their perceptions; ESH. I will be grateful. Take your time and keep and open mind with good recovery memory. practice, practice, practice!! ...

daisygirl · daisygirl

I need to find the courage to end this relationship and the strength to let go of him completely and not look back. Today is the day, I am going to his house to talk, once again. I love him but I know as long as he is an A, we can never have a normal stable life. I have to let go, not only for me but for...

Madison1 · Madison1

Ok hes sober 90 days and leaves me after the last five years of me supporting him while he was drunk. He got his good job back and now wants freedom and no responsibility because he is focusing on sobriety. In rehab he made promises to correct the wrongs he done now he realizes thats too stressful and too...

daisygirl · daisygirl

So, yes... I ended my relationship with him and can't get him out of my head. All weekend, I thought of him... why is it that when I think it is best to end things, correction.... KNOW it is best for me to end things, I beat myself up about it. I seem to only want him more. So, I could not take it anymore... Su...

shellsea · shellsea

On resentment... i guess i am doing a lot of things i don't want to do, feeling like i am trapped. A program friend suggested that i hold resentments to things that i force myself to do and do not want to do for my spouse. i keep working the program, but underneath it all, cannot accept the relationship i...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Need clarification here if possible........I have trouble sometimes with what is the disease vs. what is not. Especially because a lot of people who go through things such as what we all go through and deal with regarding break ups etc, dont even have an alcoholic or addict for a spouse or ex-spouse...

ayjay · ayjay

Well I tink it is pretty correct to say, my ex will do what he can to knock me down, more so if I try and let him see im moving on, getting strong, and keeping firm boundaries with him. He felt the need to leave a message on my phone last night, because I was not answering his calls. He felt the need to let me know...

Hopeless · Hopeless

The more I read some of the post on this site the more I realize that I'm SOOO not alone! Majority of the stories are my own especially the calling, texting, emails, threatening to kill himself, etc... THANK GOD I FOUND THIS MESSAGE BOARD!!!!!

New Member = ( · Hopeless

Hello... I'm new and lost = ( I've been with J for 3 years, we have a beautiful 20 month old daughter and I have a 12 year old son. "J" is a binge drinker he can go months/weeks without drinking but once he steps foot into a bar he can't leave... He choice of drink is hard liquor (Jagerm...

gandalf92478 · gandalf92478

So, I have a choice and I need help making it. I am leaving St. Thomas. I have already bought my dad a plane ticket back to the states. a) give my dad 200.00(1st months rent) to let him stay on St. Thomas and recv unemployment benifits and stay on a boat for 6 months. b) Say no Im not giving you any more money...

Maria123 · Maria123

Invitation to Happiness was the theme for the Massachusetts State Convention this weekend. Boy am I glad I accepted this invitation . . . a weekend of meetings, fellowship, friendships reunited and new ones made . . . what a gift. We had over 500 in attendance from all over New England. We had two membe...

Destynee · Destynee

He called last night to say he was thrown out and to pick him up. It was 11PM. I had 2 sleeping kids. No way was I going. So they let him stay overnight and I have to get him today. It's only 5 days he was there and that was detox. I'm at my wits end.

gandalf92478 · gandalf92478

Hello Friends, My name is Dustin. I am very new. In fact this is my first time even researching my issue. I was sent here by my aunt because she thought this would help. I belive my dad is an alcoholic and uses me. My dad hasn't had a job for months. And, this is not the first time he has mooched off of me. I am co...

oppida · oppida

On Thursday I talked to H about his drinking. I started out nagging and being "mommy" and then stopped myself and talked to him in "I" statements and actually expressed my emotions (something that is VERY hard for me). I told him that I was scared about his drinking, scared that...

bchgurl249 · bchgurl249

Hello Everyone, I'm totally new to Alanon. My mom is an alcoholic and has been for years. She also takes anti-anxiety meds and depression meds. She doesn't think she has a problem. The family, my brother, father and I have tried to talk to her with no results. My dad ended up leaving for a few days a...

Acatnip · Acatnip

After a tumultious beginning to the new year chronicled by my posts here, it seems things are finally looking better and on the upswing. AH is finally in therapy and going faithfully to his AA meetings. He has sought support from our family doctor and is learning to live one day at a time. I have not retur...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting due to commitment with my lawyer. Hopefully, another OP will be available and if not, another member could step up to chair the meeting. Thanks

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I KNOW meetings help. I KNOW I need to be in the rooms. But why is it so hard to get there? I know I need a program in my life - so why do Iresist giving myself over to it completely? I promise myself I am going to go to a meeting - then I do not go and I beat myself up, lose hope and credibility. I must remember - nothi...

maresie · maresie

One of my new insights is that my family of origin had an attitude of contempt and derision for certain people and that never changed no matter what happened that didn't change. When I come across a person like the ex A who exhibits the same contempt and derision I was hooked in by not being able to accept...

miss lucy · miss lucy

hi everyone. have been so busy studying i havent had chance to pop in for a while. am doing great with my dog trainer course - i have one more test to do and then i am fully qualified! my business is starting to take shape and i have just been accepted as a foster carer for one of the local voluntary rescue org...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I've been thinking a lot the past few days about my family of origin and how dysfunctional it was and still is. My mom seems to want to live in a complete atmosphere of chaos and drama - every day it seems like there's something else that's stressing her out (i.e. a good reason to drink). My stepfather tr...

AmberB · AmberB

I've been married to my husband, a recovering alcoholic for almost 3 years now. While he hasn't had an alcohol slip up for almost year now, he has turned to strong anti-anxiety medications. In August 2008, he took a whole bottle of calanopin and acted drunk the entire night. I called his therapist aft...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I feel as though I keep getting punished over and over again. In the months before my split from my 20 year relationship with my A. I somewhat pushed him away. I did things I'm not proud of and then when he blindsided me and up and left and things spiraled out of control, it was to late. He keeps hitting w...

ayjay · ayjay

As expected, my ex finally got in touch to talk about the baby that is due in a few weeks. He wanted to be there at the birth, and for me to pop round and see him from sometimes. I was kind of going along with it, then after the call it just didn't feel right. Why pop round and see him? He swears there is noone e...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi Eveyone, been having a bit of a tough time my ex ABF is letting himself in my house when my son was in before I got home from work. He was drunk been on a bender for a week. He asked me to take him to the hospital that he wants to go to rehab he wants to die. I took him but really did not want to be there. I rang m...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello My Friends, Its been months since I have posted. I'm doing okay. I once again reconciled with my A Hubby and we are experiencing a nice sober marriage. One day at a time! That's all we can do! He is actively working his program through our chruch and I'm taking care of me. We try our best not to i...

Destynee · Destynee

H went into rehab on Wednesday. I had to ask his family for the 250.00 copay because he left us with nothing. My MIL was not told about this, my FIL told me not to say anything (they are divorced). But she ended up paying the copay and sent me a nasty letter and ending it with "tell him we love him and su...

oppida · oppida

Hi I'm new here and new to the understanding that my husband is probably an alcoholic. :( H has always drank. But, it wasn't till recently that I realized that he is a binge drinker and must have a problem. I have not confronted him, as it has not been a problem I have recognized till now. Here is his drinki...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I've been working really hard lately. I decided to take the afternoon off and visit a couple of stores I like without my children - walk nice and slow down the aisles and enjoy myself, etc. :) It's nice to be able to do this once in a while and to believe that I deserve having some time to myself. It's nic...

MissyPoo · MissyPoo

I have recently started to take actions to show myself how much I love me. Got a new haircut, some nice highlights, some new stylish shoes and some new clothes. This week I joined a gym (with a daycare, so I don't need to depend on AH to watch the kids) and have actually gone twice now. In fact, the kids d...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

I constantly find myself unconsciusly making plans to when my AH gets sober. Then I snap out of it and I remember that maybe that will never happen. But I struggle between facing my reality and giving up hope. I don't know I guess a part of me does not ever want to think that this is the way things will be for...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Well, I know I posted earlier when I had finally moved out of the house with my ex-A but, I've been here for almost a month and a half and things are harder. Admittedly I have been drinking more, myself - trying to escape the feelings of dissatisfaction with my life. If I have not already shared this before...

CJ recovery · CJ recovery

My pal, I'll call him H, had a lot of stamina despite being some 35 years older than I. From the moment we met, we hit it off. We chummed around together, sailed together, skiid together. We'd have a few beers and soak in the sunset with the wind on our faces, truly enjoying the joys of nature. I knew H...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Keeping Strength/My current story (Preview) I have made it clear to my qualifier that he needs to get his own place. I am allowing him to stay here while he saves money for the next 30 days. Partially because he has a 14 yr old daughter here as well. I also made it clear that there will be no alcohol in this house during that time and if he comes here after d...	chaztazchaz	5	696	Apr 23, 2010 by Jerry F
	When I Sit IN Wonder (Preview) Wow What a Couple of weeks: I think, My Last Meeting (F2F) was about 2 weeks ago! Not good for me! I see Now why I continue to stay IN this program, for with out it, I Tend to go backwards... In that F2F, We Spoke on 4th Step, I had said that when left now to my own thoughts, they tend to be cloudy, now that I have &...	Jozie	4	930	Apr 23, 2010 by hotrod
	The children of A's... (Preview) To the members that have children with A's... What type of boundaries to you set when it comes to the kids? Does your A have a custody order? How long did you allow the A to not see your kids? It's my understanding that as long as I have a PFA on him he is not allowed to have ANY contact with me but h...	Hopeless	7	1166	Apr 23, 2010 by Hopeless
	It's Friday!!! (Preview) Per court order A is suppose to give me child support money starting TODAY! I've been getting messages all week about how bad he wants to see his daughter, etc... I agreed on supervised visits starting on Monday... Let's just see how interested he is in the well being of our daughter.... *Fingers...	Hopeless	0	542	Apr 23, 2010 by Hopeless
	Paranoia...bitter divorce!! (Preview) Hi I have posted on here before and found the strength to leave a 4 year marriage which was absolute misery due to violence, secret drinking and debt worries. To cut a long story short and not wishing to ramble on as I grew tired of my own self pity and guilt, resentment and had to dump that extra load off my b...	evaangel	9	1370	Apr 23, 2010 by Bettina
	WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH (Preview) When Love is Not Enough, the Lois Wilson Story. New Hallmark movie on tv April 25. I can't wait to see it. wp	wp	0	605	Apr 22, 2010 by wp
	and the desperation begins... (Preview) After leaving from his house at lunch, he has started emailing me and texting me, wanting to know if I am going to come over. He sent me this email after I left his house and ended our relationship: It breaks my heart to have to end things this way, I love you, you are the world to me. Please find it in yo...	daisygirl	4	874	Apr 22, 2010 by RLC
	Give me the strength!!! (Preview) I am leaving in about 30 mins. to go over to his house. My stomach is already rumbling with nerves and anxiety. One look at him and I know he will have me. I know for me, the best way is not to see him... but we always do. What will be different? I can already tell you what will happen... We will talk and h...	daisygirl	6	897	Apr 22, 2010 by daisygirl
	I am thrilled! (Preview) I go to our local AA meetings every Monday night. I offer to hold a separate meeting for Alanon and explain who Alanon is for. I have held a separate meeting maybe once a year. I just attend AA or go outside the room and read the readings. In the past month, I have had an Alanoner come twice. She is much younge...	nmike	5	935	Apr 22, 2010 by miss lucy
	Wish someone had told me Divorce (Preview) Here is something I wish someone had told me 4 years ago..... If you even suspect that your marriage may be headed toward divorce...while you still have the chance...photocopy absolutly everything you can get your hands on. Every bank statement, pay stub, insurance form, income tax return, inv...	agatha	5	8490	Apr 22, 2010 by agatha
	THE LOIS WILSON STORY (Preview) THE LOIS WILSON STORY WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH AIRS THIS SUNDAY THE 25TH ON CBS JUST A REMINDER>>CHECK FOR YOUR LOCAL TIME.... LOVE IN RECOVERY, GRAMMIE	grammie	2	675	Apr 22, 2010 by belle1
	AA is not for him... (Preview) Just found out that the A no longer thinks AA is for him... He said that he will get a sponser and go to meetings when HE thinks it's necessary = / I'm trying to not let this bother me personally it's his life he is the one with the problem... Just a bit disappointed... I'm going to contact Domes...	Hopeless	8	1148	Apr 22, 2010 by Hopeless
	On-line Meetings... (Preview) Online meetings would be ideal for me (do plan on going F2F since I really need it).. I don't get it though?!?!? Do you post what is bothering you and your done? Is there any feedback? Just looking for some guidance as to how it works = )	Hopeless	1	620	Apr 22, 2010 by Mandy123
	Need a chair for Friday April 23 Morning Meeting (Preview) I have a doctor's appointment and will be unable to chair the meeting - if someone can step up and fill in for me, I would be most grateful! P.S. Thanks to kitty_of_light for filling in last week while I was completely bogged down with work and could not be there.	blender_girl	0	438	Apr 22, 2010 by blender_girl
	Lois W MOVIE COMING UP (Preview) When Love is Not Enough; the story of Lois Wilson. This is a new Hallmark Hall of Fame movie, which is showing next Saturday April 25 on tv. wp	wp	6	870	Apr 22, 2010 by grammie
	Big changes - now what? (Preview) Thank Goddess for Al Anon. The program has helped me build of framework of sanity in a very hard time. I came to the point of complete saturation in being able to see my alcoholic wallow in his misery in our house and be emotionally unstable in front of the kids. They know their dad is depressed and that i...	KellyCO	6	942	Apr 21, 2010 by maresie
	Living with a Storm Cloud (Preview) Just have to vent here! I'm still living with my AH, due to separate and move 4 states away in late May after graduation from college. So there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but.... Living with his negativity is wearing me down! He is always angry, depressed, drunk or ALL OF THE ABOVE 24/7! He's had pl...	intothewoods	3	849	Apr 21, 2010 by maresie
	Detachment comes first (Preview) I work in a dysfunctional environment and live in one too. My roomates are addicts and alcoholics and seem to go out of their way to create and manufacture chaos. At one time I took this all tremendously personally. I saw both the situations as a marker that I was doomed (dramatic I know!). Lately I h...	maresie	2	833	Apr 21, 2010 by kitty
	New to AlAnon- are there any other men? (Preview) Hello. I'm pretty new to AlAnon. I have been to four meetings, with three different groups. One of those meetings (a "beginner's meeting") consisted of just the moderator (a male) and myself. Another two of the meetings were just two ladies and myself...then last night I tried a differen...	xd	12	2168	Apr 21, 2010 by Destynee
	An Update....and a big THANK YOU! (Preview) Hi all and thank you for your words of support and experience regarding my Abf-sober's son and possible pot abuse. Turns out he did in fact smoke pot a couple of times. My bf confronted him and gave him a chance to be honest. He fessed up and is "on lockdown" now --as he calls it--until the e...	lizzakiss	2	897	Apr 21, 2010 by Jerry F
	Got a message from A... (Preview) He wanted me to know that his is 7 days sober (reminder he is a binge drinker and can months without drinking)... He says that he is working the program (which is the first time he has ever been to AA)... And that he wants to see his daughter, he is afraid that she is not going to remember him (she is 21 m...	Hopeless	7	1067	Apr 21, 2010 by Hopeless
	ESH Please (Preview) Good Morning I would really like some feedback on this please.... For the past two years I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man who is 6 years sober and a very active member of AA. The problem is...although he is sober his disease has become quite active in the way of a food addition. I know this...	agatha	5	662	Apr 20, 2010 by agatha
	The only way to sanity-leave the A? (Preview) Hello on Sunday morning to everyone on the board. I love and hate to come here. Often I scroll though the stories and feel better, feel like I have enough strength for another day or hour. I just feel so tired, so so so tired of all the work and pretending and trying. I have a 16 mos old son with the A and in t...	lonewolfmama	15	1174	Apr 20, 2010 by maire rua
	sister in active addiction...what boundaries to set? (Preview) Hi, I am new here, and I am wondering what to do about my sister. She was clean for almost a year. Now she is smoking pot from the moment she wakes up until she passes out at night. It is really negatively affecting her life in many ways. She has gotten extensions for all her assignments at college, using dep...	DLS	7	1150	Apr 20, 2010 by maresie
	Any double winners? (Preview) I would really be interested in talking to/learning from some double winners in the program -- that they qualify for more than one fellowship?	RunnerChick	4	545	Apr 20, 2010 by maire rua
	Everything changes. (long) (Preview) It's been a while since I have been here and the thing that has been jumping out at me lately is the fact that everything changes. When I first came here I was in despair because I had just walked out with three children and left my AH. Now, almost four years later it seems like something so small and insig...	carolinagirl	6	738	Apr 20, 2010 by Mandy123
	Progressively worse... (Preview) Am I the only one on the boards with a PFA? I know in my situation each time he came home drunk the worse the situation was (binge drinker) He was becoming angier (as I was) and angier, it went from him just denying it and passing out to verbal abuse, then at times physical... The verbal abu...	Hopeless	6	1295	Apr 20, 2010 by Hopeless
	Honesty discussion... (Preview) Aloha ((((All)))) Honesty seems to be the asset of focus at the moment and I am (and have for a while) listening for feedback from others in recovery for their perceptions; ESH. I will be grateful. Take your time and keep and open mind with good recovery memory. practice, practice, practice!! ...	Jerry F	11	5297	Apr 20, 2010 by Mandy123
	Today (Preview) I need to find the courage to end this relationship and the strength to let go of him completely and not look back. Today is the day, I am going to his house to talk, once again. I love him but I know as long as he is an A, we can never have a normal stable life. I have to let go, not only for me but for...	daisygirl	10	1006	Apr 20, 2010 by Mandy123
	The aftermath (Preview) Ok hes sober 90 days and leaves me after the last five years of me supporting him while he was drunk. He got his good job back and now wants freedom and no responsibility because he is focusing on sobriety. In rehab he made promises to correct the wrongs he done now he realizes thats too stressful and too...	Madison1	5	1013	Apr 20, 2010 by Mandy123
	Addicted to A (Preview) So, yes... I ended my relationship with him and can't get him out of my head. All weekend, I thought of him... why is it that when I think it is best to end things, correction.... KNOW it is best for me to end things, I beat myself up about it. I seem to only want him more. So, I could not take it anymore... Su...	daisygirl	7	1251	Apr 20, 2010 by nmike
	On Resentment (Preview) On resentment... i guess i am doing a lot of things i don't want to do, feeling like i am trapped. A program friend suggested that i hold resentments to things that i force myself to do and do not want to do for my spouse. i keep working the program, but underneath it all, cannot accept the relationship i...	shellsea	5	609	Apr 20, 2010 by shellsea
	Which one is the disease? (Preview) Need clarification here if possible........I have trouble sometimes with what is the disease vs. what is not. Especially because a lot of people who go through things such as what we all go through and deal with regarding break ups etc, dont even have an alcoholic or addict for a spouse or ex-spouse...	sdisnie	12	1005	Apr 20, 2010 by lyndebi
	Numb (Preview) Well I tink it is pretty correct to say, my ex will do what he can to knock me down, more so if I try and let him see im moving on, getting strong, and keeping firm boundaries with him. He felt the need to leave a message on my phone last night, because I was not answering his calls. He felt the need to let me know...	ayjay	2	597	Apr 20, 2010 by lyndebi
	Wow... (Preview) The more I read some of the post on this site the more I realize that I'm SOOO not alone! Majority of the stories are my own especially the calling, texting, emails, threatening to kill himself, etc... THANK GOD I FOUND THIS MESSAGE BOARD!!!!!	Hopeless	2	609	Apr 20, 2010 by lyndebi
	New Member = ( (Preview) Hello... I'm new and lost = ( I've been with J for 3 years, we have a beautiful 20 month old daughter and I have a 12 year old son. "J" is a binge drinker he can go months/weeks without drinking but once he steps foot into a bar he can't leave... He choice of drink is hard liquor (Jagerm...	Hopeless	12	936	Apr 20, 2010 by Hopeless
	Where do I draw the line when setting boundries? Boundries line help do choice ultimatum (Preview) So, I have a choice and I need help making it. I am leaving St. Thomas. I have already bought my dad a plane ticket back to the states. a) give my dad 200.00(1st months rent) to let him stay on St. Thomas and recv unemployment benifits and stay on a boat for 6 months. b) Say no Im not giving you any more money...	gandalf92478	6	5499	Apr 19, 2010 by maresie
	Invitation to Happiness (Preview) Invitation to Happiness was the theme for the Massachusetts State Convention this weekend. Boy am I glad I accepted this invitation . . . a weekend of meetings, fellowship, friendships reunited and new ones made . . . what a gift. We had over 500 in attendance from all over New England. We had two membe...	Maria123	4	1010	Apr 19, 2010 by Mandy123
	H got thrown out of rehab for fighting (Preview) He called last night to say he was thrown out and to pick him up. It was 11PM. I had 2 sleeping kids. No way was I going. So they let him stay overnight and I have to get him today. It's only 5 days he was there and that was detox. I'm at my wits end.	Destynee	5	980	Apr 19, 2010 by Jerry F
	Help DAD Enable Atheist Stop Enabling New to this New Help (Preview) Hello Friends, My name is Dustin. I am very new. In fact this is my first time even researching my issue. I was sent here by my aunt because she thought this would help. I belive my dad is an alcoholic and uses me. My dad hasn't had a job for months. And, this is not the first time he has mooched off of me. I am co...	gandalf92478	6	9520	Apr 19, 2010 by Jerry F
	I feel crazy! (Preview) On Thursday I talked to H about his drinking. I started out nagging and being "mommy" and then stopped myself and talked to him in "I" statements and actually expressed my emotions (something that is VERY hard for me). I told him that I was scared about his drinking, scared that...	oppida	10	870	Apr 19, 2010 by oppida
	New to the group..Hello (Preview) Hello Everyone, I'm totally new to Alanon. My mom is an alcoholic and has been for years. She also takes anti-anxiety meds and depression meds. She doesn't think she has a problem. The family, my brother, father and I have tried to talk to her with no results. My dad ended up leaving for a few days a...	bchgurl249	6	872	Apr 19, 2010 by Andrea12
	Is Anyone Ever Successful? (Preview) After a tumultious beginning to the new year chronicled by my posts here, it seems things are finally looking better and on the upswing. AH is finally in therapy and going faithfully to his AA meetings. He has sought support from our family doctor and is learning to live one day at a time. I have not retur...	Acatnip	11	1418	Apr 19, 2010 by mon123
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting due to commitment with my lawyer. Hopefully, another OP will be available and if not, another member could step up to chair the meeting. Thanks	shimo	0	383	Apr 19, 2010 by shimo
	Getting back into the rooms... (Preview) I KNOW meetings help. I KNOW I need to be in the rooms. But why is it so hard to get there? I know I need a program in my life - so why do Iresist giving myself over to it completely? I promise myself I am going to go to a meeting - then I do not go and I beat myself up, lose hope and credibility. I must remember - nothi...	RunnerChick	10	864	Apr 19, 2010 by canadianguy
	Attitude (Preview) One of my new insights is that my family of origin had an attitude of contempt and derision for certain people and that never changed no matter what happened that didn't change. When I come across a person like the ex A who exhibits the same contempt and derision I was hooked in by not being able to accept...	maresie	8	1329	Apr 18, 2010 by nmike
	fresh hope and a new future looming (Preview) hi everyone. have been so busy studying i havent had chance to pop in for a while. am doing great with my dog trainer course - i have one more test to do and then i am fully qualified! my business is starting to take shape and i have just been accepted as a foster carer for one of the local voluntary rescue org...	miss lucy	2	740	Apr 18, 2010 by nmike
	Reliving old feelings from family of origin (Preview) I've been thinking a lot the past few days about my family of origin and how dysfunctional it was and still is. My mom seems to want to live in a complete atmosphere of chaos and drama - every day it seems like there's something else that's stressing her out (i.e. a good reason to drink). My stepfather tr...	White Rabbit	4	713	Apr 18, 2010 by bchgurl249
	New here---need guidance (Preview) I've been married to my husband, a recovering alcoholic for almost 3 years now. While he hasn't had an alcohol slip up for almost year now, he has turned to strong anti-anxiety medications. In August 2008, he took a whole bottle of calanopin and acted drunk the entire night. I called his therapist aft...	AmberB	9	1015	Apr 18, 2010 by mon123
	Another step back (Preview) I feel as though I keep getting punished over and over again. In the months before my split from my 20 year relationship with my A. I somewhat pushed him away. I did things I'm not proud of and then when he blindsided me and up and left and things spiraled out of control, it was to late. He keeps hitting w...	sdisnie	4	751	Apr 18, 2010 by Jean4444
	Beyond anger, in hurt and fear, but now what? (Preview) As expected, my ex finally got in touch to talk about the baby that is due in a few weeks. He wanted to be there at the birth, and for me to pop round and see him from sometimes. I was kind of going along with it, then after the call it just didn't feel right. Why pop round and see him? He swears there is noone e...	ayjay	6	1006	Apr 18, 2010 by Jean4444
	self care (Preview) Hi Eveyone, been having a bit of a tough time my ex ABF is letting himself in my house when my son was in before I got home from work. He was drunk been on a bender for a week. He asked me to take him to the hospital that he wants to go to rehab he wants to die. I took him but really did not want to be there. I rang m...	Tracy	3	787	Apr 18, 2010 by Jean4444
	.....miss you guys!!! (Preview) Hello My Friends, Its been months since I have posted. I'm doing okay. I once again reconciled with my A Hubby and we are experiencing a nice sober marriage. One day at a time! That's all we can do! He is actively working his program through our chruch and I'm taking care of me. We try our best not to i...	Sincerely	5	870	Apr 18, 2010 by wp
	His and my families putting pressure on me in different directions-I can't deal with it. (Preview) H went into rehab on Wednesday. I had to ask his family for the 250.00 copay because he left us with nothing. My MIL was not told about this, my FIL told me not to say anything (they are divorced). But she ended up paying the copay and sent me a nasty letter and ending it with "tell him we love him and su...	Destynee	7	1162	Apr 18, 2010 by wp
	New Member: What is he? What am I in for? What do I do? (Preview) Hi I'm new here and new to the understanding that my husband is probably an alcoholic. :( H has always drank. But, it wasn't till recently that I realized that he is a binge drinker and must have a problem. I have not confronted him, as it has not been a problem I have recognized till now. Here is his drinki...	oppida	12	1102	Apr 18, 2010 by xeno59
	Happy Friday! (Preview) I've been working really hard lately. I decided to take the afternoon off and visit a couple of stores I like without my children - walk nice and slow down the aisles and enjoy myself, etc. :) It's nice to be able to do this once in a while and to believe that I deserve having some time to myself. It's nic...	White Rabbit	3	760	Apr 18, 2010 by Tracy
	Starting to love Me... (Preview) I have recently started to take actions to show myself how much I love me. Got a new haircut, some nice highlights, some new stylish shoes and some new clothes. This week I joined a gym (with a daycare, so I don't need to depend on AH to watch the kids) and have actually gone twice now. In fact, the kids d...	MissyPoo	3	836	Apr 18, 2010 by Tracy
	To give up hope? (Preview) I constantly find myself unconsciusly making plans to when my AH gets sober. Then I snap out of it and I remember that maybe that will never happen. But I struggle between facing my reality and giving up hope. I don't know I guess a part of me does not ever want to think that this is the way things will be for...	Priscilla83	12	1093	Apr 18, 2010 by tlcate
	I've been away again... but now I'm back (Preview) Well, I know I posted earlier when I had finally moved out of the house with my ex-A but, I've been here for almost a month and a half and things are harder. Admittedly I have been drinking more, myself - trying to escape the feelings of dissatisfaction with my life. If I have not already shared this before...	RunnerChick	5	882	Apr 17, 2010 by ythannah
	He was an alcoholic? (Preview) My pal, I'll call him H, had a lot of stamina despite being some 35 years older than I. From the moment we met, we hit it off. We chummed around together, sailed together, skiid together. We'd have a few beers and soak in the sunset with the wind on our faces, truly enjoying the joys of nature. I knew H...	CJ recovery	8	864	Apr 17, 2010 by tlcate
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.