The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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level.
<sigh> My xah has begun the angry pouting tantrum. In reply to my letter restating, and the last contact i will make with him, my wish for no contact, I got two letters. The first angry and insisting he would pay me back the money which I never mentioned in my request (not really sure what money he is talking about), and insisting that we will see what happens when he gets out. The second calling me a monster, and some names I won;t repeat. The PS made me smile, he insists someone is influencing me to make these decisions and I am falling for it. Can't fault him for thinking I am gullible and naive and easy to mislead.... I may learn slow but good golly I learn eventually I do believe I have everything I need noe though to get my request granted and probably a restraining order to boot when the time comes that he is released. I guess that is something to hip hip hurray about.
It can be scarey making change, when you are met with angry resistance. If the way you was in the past suited him, maybe he is just trying to get that control back.
Stay strong, and look out for me posting soon in a real frenzy, desperate for help, because my ex will probably be using a new angle to get to me at some point in the future.
I don't have any ESH in this area to share as I still choose to live with my A and out up with constant daily pouting . I can only imagine how hard it is to avoid opening those letters. Maybe next time put them aside and call your sponser before you open them? Treat them like the A's first drink. Call someone before you pick it up! You do have a choice about whether you open and read the junk he is serving up to you... especially since you have laid down the boundary that you will not have any more contact with him. I guess we always hope they are sending us that letter that says they have seen the light and will turn it around. Thing is.. actions are still much louder than words.. and an A is always an A.... Be gentle and kind to yourself today!
. I can only imagine how hard it is to avoid opening those letters. Maybe next time put them aside and call your sponser before you open them? Treat them like the A's first drink. Call someone before you pick it up! You do have a choice about whether you open and read the junk he is serving up to you... especially since you have laid down the boundary that you will not have any more contact with him. I guess we always hope they are sending us that letter that says they have seen the light and will turn it around. Thing is.. actions are still much louder than words.. and an A is always an A.... Be gentle and kind to yourself today!