The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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Hi family, my son is in hospital 4 days now. He took three big seizures within the space of 2 hours, luckily his drinking partner had the sense to call the emergency service after the 1st seizure.
Funny thing is he called us the night before..........1st since Xmas . He sounded weak and ill on the phone, not eating again, weight down to 98lbs. He had been assaulted that day in the street. He said, once again, he wanted help and once again I reminded him that help was there on his doorstep all he had to do was reach out to the people and places...that he should be secure in our love for him......he told me he loved us all too and I went to bed that night praying for his survival and I am praying his HP has put him in hospital and that he is ready and will find the courage to change . We phoned the hospital and they told us he is asking for help and they are seeing what can be done. I told them he is not alone, although he lives in homeless accommodation, that he has a loving family who are supportive of his recovery attempts but wont rescue, or enable his disease.
Me?I am desperately, desperately sad for him, heartbroken that he has this hellish disease and what it has done and continues to do to him, to us all. Hes a good man and it is beyond cruel what this disease takes away.
I know I am powerless, I have to keep building my own strength in Alanon. I remain as detached as I can and boundaries are in place. I have faith that a power greater than me is watching over him and hope is always with me. The fear has gone. I am tired today and know I have to take care of me.
Oh my friend - I'm sure you are more than tired - how draining physically and mentally this must be -
Please know I'm praying for your son - that his mind and heart will remain open to the help he can receive.
Also - I'm praying for comfort and peace for you - that your HP will wrap you in His arms and give you a rest the can only come from an understanding that HE is in control and HE will protect you.
HUGS, Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
Wow Ness. I don't think I have seen a more beautiful post. Thank you so much for sharing with us. I am so sorry your heart is breaking but am so inspired by your love, faith, and understanding around this disease.
Thank you for showing me exactly what the program looks like if used properly.
My heart goes out to you and I am sending good thoughts for your family. We are here for you with much love and support.
Tricia
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To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
Oh, Ness - I'm so sorry your son is in the hospital. I will pray for you both, and for the rest of your family.
I agree that your post was beautiful, and felt inspired by it. There is definitely a balance to be achieved between loving your child and enabling him or her. I too, see how amazingly the program can work. Sometimes I find myself thinking that detachment means that I can't feel - that if I feel sad or angry that I have not detached. I see from your post that that's just not true. It is possible to feel sad and even heartbroken - admit the feelings, own them, and work through them - and still remain detached.
Thank you for being here and for sharing. It's trite, but this too shall pass - it won't always hurt the way it does right this second.
Aloha Ness...yes this is the time that your relationship with HP is put to the test as well as your relationship with your son and all else. Might you call AA central in your town and ask them if they have members in the fellowship that make hospital visits? A good 12th step might evolve from it. In my prayers... (((((hugs)))))
Tonight I will offer prayers to HP that you and your son continue on your paths to recovery. It's devastating to see the disease take our loved one to severe medical consequences. HP is with him. Working through the medical staff to take care of him and offer more help if he wants it.
I too hope the best for your son. I can't imagine the pain that accompanies when it is your child's life the disease has a hold on. To watch our spouses suffer is bad enough. To see the disease affect a child that you have raised and loved, had such hopes and dreams for must be horrific. There is always, always, hope and there are definately miracles.
My heart goes out to you and your son. BELIEVE.
(((((big fat hugs)))) Christy
-- Edited by Christy on Thursday 8th of April 2010 03:42:14 AM
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
How horribly hard this has to be on all you. You are doing exactly what you should be. I hope and pray he finds his way into recovery. Miracles do happen. Keeping you and your family in my prayers. Much love and blessings to you all.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Ness, what an inspiration you are to me tonight. Your post and all the others reminds me of what a powerful net of love there is all over this planet and its called al-anon!! Much love and gratitude to you and my prayers are with you and your son. Jean
(((((Ness))))) - so sorry for your son being in the hospital and my hope is that HP is taking good care of both of you. Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
