The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This morning my heart aches immensely as I have lost a beacon of light in my life. Yesterday afternoon my father (step - although I have not called him that part for years) passed away suddenly.
Jim came into my life in my early teens and I had made the decision quickly to hate him as he would be the reason my parents would not reunite. I hated him because in my mind then he convinced my mother to drag us kicking & screaming to Alateen. I hated him because he was everything that my father wasn't. At that time I just needed someone to hate & he fit the bill. I grappled for so many years with the relationship with my real father and Jim just sat back and never asked to be anything more than what he was.
I never knew Jim in his drinking days - something of which I am happy for. Simply because all of the male influences in my life to that point were active. Jim showed me & the rest of my family what it was like to live in a house of recovery. He led by example, more often than not was the voice of reason, and loved simply & laughed often. Something that until it is gone we often do not appreciate. It was this demeanor that finally won me over to love him. Some years ago we talked & I was able to tell him all of this - something for which I am grateful for. He knew he was loved & that I was proud to be his daughter.
We were fortunate to come together this past Sunday with a minor crisis at my parents house by way of a blown hot water tank. As a family we all worked hard together & laughed much. It was God's greatest gift to us - we all will cherish this last memory.
This November, Jim would have celebrated 62 years of life & 34 years of recovery. The lessons I have learned from his simple life of recovery are endless. If I can carry the message half as well as he did then my life will have been well lived. I will miss Jim terribly & the next few days & weeks will be almost unbearable but I have a higher power who will carry me through & if he is busy I now have an angel to help.
Cherish what you have. Look for the bright spot in even the darkest of situations. Love simply & laugh often. Embrace the pain for it is what helps you grow. And when someone pisses you off - pray for them - wish them a nice day - it may never make them feel better but it will make you feel better.
Be well all.
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Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Love you all!
Karen
I am so very sorry for your loss - your tribute to your (step) father brought tears to my eyes. How wonderful that you got to experience a loving relationship like that.
For me, your story helps put things in perspective...that we should cherish our HP's gifts to us each day even when everything seems hopeless.
"Cherish what you have. Look for the bright spot in even the darkest of situations. Love simply & laugh often. Embrace the pain for it is what helps you grow. And when someone pisses you off - pray for them - wish them a nice day - it may never make them feel better but it will make you feel better."
^^ These are words to live by! You are so wise.
Praying for you and your family...and wishing you peace.
Please accept my heartfelt sympathy at the loss of your father Jim.
He sounds like he was truly a wonderful man and a blessing to man - Glad to know he is enjoying the Big Meeting in the Sky with all those who have gone on before him. And when they say "Who is always with us in our meetings . . ." Jim's HP will be with him face to face
Prayers and good thoughts of comfort, peace and love for you, your family and all the friends of Jim.
HUGS, Rita
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No matter what me and my God are going to be ok, even better than OK -
such an inspirational experience to share and you were so fortunate to have such a wonderful person come into your life and guide you at such a crucial time.
Your step dad was a "walker" and at times a "talker" but if I listen to your story he was a "walker" who showed you how to do it also. I'm glad you brought him here and grateful you will continue the walk. Thanks much. Sad that it may have come to soon. (((((hugs)))))
sudden death is so hard! I am sorry to hear of this loss- he sounds like a wonderful inspiration to many around him. Take care and know my best thoughts are with you and your family. hugs, J.
in recovery,