Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hopeless · Hopeless

A is starting his supervised visitations with our daughter this week so I had to call and find out when he was coming (i will not be home when he comes to see her, my mother is going to supervise his visitations)... Of course he automatically started with the "i miss you", "i love y...

bucknathaniel · bucknathaniel

Hi, Once in an Alanon meeting I heard a list read of 12 to 15 ways in which an adult should behave. What is this list? Where can I find it in the literature? I would love to find this list so I can make a copy for myself and learn it. It has things like, "an adult is happy for someone instead of envious when t...

RLC · RLC

To my MIP Family, David wrote a great post on gratitude today. I just watched the Hallmark Hall of Fame movie "When Love Is Not Enough". So I've had a double dose of gratitude today. If there is anyone in the family that watched the movie and did not tear-up several times then they didn't watch...

david62 · david62

Hi Family, I got home a couple of hours ago from the small conference that my home group hosts every year. This was my seventh year attending and is my annual Al-Anon birthday celebration. On April 17, 2004 I attended this conference at the invitation of my then AA wife, and for that I am grateful. Grat...

Jozie · Jozie

I 1st Want to say THANK YOU to all who responded & helped lift me from my Slump Last week, every day I got on here & seen another response, it was really an uplifting part of my day, and helped carry me thru, many tears, many memories of those past... I DID Make a Meeting last night, and it was SOOOO ni...

intothewoods · intothewoods

Here's a little inspirational quote from Nelson Mandela: Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actual...

hopeforrecovery · hopeforrecovery

I'm a wife of a addict/alcoholic. We've been together for 29 years, 25 of them married. He was a drug user back in 1987, when I was pregnant with our first child. He entered rehab in 1988 and was clean for 18 years. He started using prescription drugs and when the debt piled high he turned to drinking to for...

RLC · RLC

I have been without internet service for the last two day at my business, modem problems. If someone had told me ten or twelve years ago that I would have a hard time doing without the Internet--- my Black Labs--- a microwave--- and MIP, I would have told them they were crazy. But they would have been ri...

belle1 · belle1

If the movie Love Is Not... Being Shown In The UK Or Even Online Perhaps?? Belle1x

daisygirl · daisygirl

Well, I had gone to his house the other day... but the timing was not right. Last night, he went out to the bars and I was once again left to worry and drive myself nuts. So, today he made me lunch. I went there to talk. He was certainly not prepared to hear what I had to say. I appeared strong (even thou...

maire rua · maire rua

Hi Guys, am after two punishing days, things went ok but very long. I come home to relax, and my A father rings, I have no way of knowing who is ringing, will have to get new phone and he starts complaining about why my a-brother is getting passed over for state housing, he has been passed over three times. I...

CCC12 · CCC12

Hello, I just joined this group a few moments ago because I have been "planning" to attend actual meetings but it never seems to happen with work. I am the adult child of an alcoholic mother and actually an alcoholic father as well. To keep this short she has been in rehab multiple times and...

lacewing · lacewing

The upcoming Al-Anon Message Board Meeting was to be held this Sunday, April 25th @ 9:00PM...however, due to the high volume of interest in the upcoming movie: When Love is Not Enough; The Story of Lois Wilson, we are rescheduling the Al-Anon Message Board Meeting to be held on SATURDAY, APRIL 24th @...

lyndebi · lyndebi

Who am I kidding, I am scared. Monday the 26th is the surgery on my shoulder.The tendon is torn away from the bone. Talking major stuff, drills, pins, screws....This is when I am in trouble. I can hold back the big gut pain of the lonliness and actually been lots better. But this brings me too far down. I wo...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, I have had a chat with my ExABF it was quite nice but hard. He has gone back to Aa and has gotten himself somewhere to live. I told him I could not have a relationship with him anymore that cared for him but I needed to focus on my recovery, life and kids. He said that he was sorry for all the pain , tha...

maresie · maresie

Today I am going to an al anon conference which isn't as near to my home as I thought. I am having to compromise. In the past, in my perfectinist thinking anything less than total immersion would be a failure. I will probably go to a few workshops and that's about it. For now that's good enough. I had no g...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I just wrote about this in another response to a post - but my obsessing is almost hardwired into me. It is a physical and automatic response to feeling as though I am out of control OR that abandonment or rejection may be imminent. My A and I live apart now. We had discussed that we would "Date"...

Acatnip · Acatnip

I have spent a lot of time on here posting about the disruption to my world so I think you all deserve an update since this board helped me get thru it and I am now hoping to be on the "other" side. Quick back story- At the end of Jan, I discovered my new husband was an A. He had cleverly hid it until so...

hopeforme · hopeforme

I am really glad to have found this message board! Feeling the need to share... Three months ago, after having an intervention for my bf, he agreed to go to rehab. I was so happy and relieved. He stayed for detox, but those people were "crazy losers". He was so "bored". He was &quo...

Kellie Bovarro · Kellie Bovarro

I know that it's been a long time since i've posted anything, but good news my husband has already gone through detox and is going to rehab :). I recently told my husband to get help or get out and he has followed through with getting help. I had enough of him yelling at the kids and putting them down and fi...

Leetle · Leetle

I feel as though I have tripped and landed back on step one. Have I truly let go and let God? Am I still trying to control my destiny by staying in a relationship with my A to keep our girls safe, to keep me from being vulnerable, to not feel abandoned? If that is not living in denial and letting fear keep...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I think I'm damaged, and I think there's no repair. Especially because I've lived way to long with no self esteem to ever really get any back. My dad was not an alcoholic, but he might as well have been, the way he treated me, and still treats me is not how a father should treat a daughter. I left that home...

JrN-Celias Mami · JrN-Celias Mami

Hi I'm new here and have been dealing with an alcoholic boyfriend for about 3 years. We have a 2 year old son and I am 7 months pregnant with a daughter. He already has an 11 year old daughter who he doesn't see anymore because her mother was so fed up. He drinks whenever he finds money somewhere, someti...

Tracy · Tracy

I am so sad, My ABF gas been back in the grips of the disease for around three weeks. The consequences he now faces are big lost his best friend stole 1400 off of him. His kids do not want to know. So he is trying with all his might to win me over. He has rang his sponsor and is going back to the rooms tonight....

chaztazchaz · chaztazchaz

I have made it clear to my qualifier that he needs to get his own place. I am allowing him to stay here while he saves money for the next 30 days. Partially because he has a 14 yr old daughter here as well. I also made it clear that there will be no alcohol in this house during that time and if he comes here after d...

Jozie · Jozie

Wow What a Couple of weeks: I think, My Last Meeting (F2F) was about 2 weeks ago! Not good for me! I see Now why I continue to stay IN this program, for with out it, I Tend to go backwards... In that F2F, We Spoke on 4th Step, I had said that when left now to my own thoughts, they tend to be cloudy, now that I have &...

Hopeless · Hopeless

To the members that have children with A's... What type of boundaries to you set when it comes to the kids? Does your A have a custody order? How long did you allow the A to not see your kids? It's my understanding that as long as I have a PFA on him he is not allowed to have ANY contact with me but h...

Hopeless · Hopeless

Per court order A is suppose to give me child support money starting TODAY! I've been getting messages all week about how bad he wants to see his daughter, etc... I agreed on supervised visits starting on Monday... Let's just see how interested he is in the well being of our daughter.... *Fingers...

evaangel · evaangel

Hi I have posted on here before and found the strength to leave a 4 year marriage which was absolute misery due to violence, secret drinking and debt worries. To cut a long story short and not wishing to ramble on as I grew tired of my own self pity and guilt, resentment and had to dump that extra load off my b...

wp · wp

When Love is Not Enough, the Lois Wilson Story. New Hallmark movie on tv April 25. I can't wait to see it. wp

daisygirl · daisygirl

After leaving from his house at lunch, he has started emailing me and texting me, wanting to know if I am going to come over. He sent me this email after I left his house and ended our relationship: It breaks my heart to have to end things this way, I love you, you are the world to me. Please find it in yo...

daisygirl · daisygirl

I am leaving in about 30 mins. to go over to his house. My stomach is already rumbling with nerves and anxiety. One look at him and I know he will have me. I know for me, the best way is not to see him... but we always do. What will be different? I can already tell you what will happen... We will talk and h...

nmike · nmike

I go to our local AA meetings every Monday night. I offer to hold a separate meeting for Alanon and explain who Alanon is for. I have held a separate meeting maybe once a year. I just attend AA or go outside the room and read the readings. In the past month, I have had an Alanoner come twice. She is much younge...

agatha · agatha

Here is something I wish someone had told me 4 years ago..... If you even suspect that your marriage may be headed toward divorce...while you still have the chance...photocopy absolutly everything you can get your hands on. Every bank statement, pay stub, insurance form, income tax return, inv...

grammie · grammie

THE LOIS WILSON STORY WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH AIRS THIS SUNDAY THE 25TH ON CBS JUST A REMINDER>>CHECK FOR YOUR LOCAL TIME.... LOVE IN RECOVERY, GRAMMIE

Hopeless · Hopeless

Just found out that the A no longer thinks AA is for him... He said that he will get a sponser and go to meetings when HE thinks it's necessary = / I'm trying to not let this bother me personally it's his life he is the one with the problem... Just a bit disappointed... I'm going to contact Domes...

Hopeless · Hopeless

Online meetings would be ideal for me (do plan on going F2F since I really need it).. I don't get it though?!?!? Do you post what is bothering you and your done? Is there any feedback? Just looking for some guidance as to how it works = )

blender_girl · blender_girl

I have a doctor's appointment and will be unable to chair the meeting - if someone can step up and fill in for me, I would be most grateful! P.S. Thanks to kitty_of_light for filling in last week while I was completely bogged down with work and could not be there.

wp · wp

When Love is Not Enough; the story of Lois Wilson. This is a new Hallmark Hall of Fame movie, which is showing next Saturday April 25 on tv. wp

KellyCO · KellyCO

Thank Goddess for Al Anon. The program has helped me build of framework of sanity in a very hard time. I came to the point of complete saturation in being able to see my alcoholic wallow in his misery in our house and be emotionally unstable in front of the kids. They know their dad is depressed and that i...

intothewoods · intothewoods

Just have to vent here! I'm still living with my AH, due to separate and move 4 states away in late May after graduation from college. So there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but.... Living with his negativity is wearing me down! He is always angry, depressed, drunk or ALL OF THE ABOVE 24/7! He's had pl...

maresie · maresie

I work in a dysfunctional environment and live in one too. My roomates are addicts and alcoholics and seem to go out of their way to create and manufacture chaos. At one time I took this all tremendously personally. I saw both the situations as a marker that I was doomed (dramatic I know!). Lately I h...

xd · xd

Hello. I'm pretty new to AlAnon. I have been to four meetings, with three different groups. One of those meetings (a "beginner's meeting") consisted of just the moderator (a male) and myself. Another two of the meetings were just two ladies and myself...then last night I tried a differen...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

Hi all and thank you for your words of support and experience regarding my Abf-sober's son and possible pot abuse. Turns out he did in fact smoke pot a couple of times. My bf confronted him and gave him a chance to be honest. He fessed up and is "on lockdown" now --as he calls it--until the e...

Hopeless · Hopeless

He wanted me to know that his is 7 days sober (reminder he is a binge drinker and can months without drinking)... He says that he is working the program (which is the first time he has ever been to AA)... And that he wants to see his daughter, he is afraid that she is not going to remember him (she is 21 m...

agatha · agatha

Good Morning I would really like some feedback on this please.... For the past two years I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man who is 6 years sober and a very active member of AA. The problem is...although he is sober his disease has become quite active in the way of a food addition. I know this...

lonewolfmama · lonewolfmama

Hello on Sunday morning to everyone on the board. I love and hate to come here. Often I scroll though the stories and feel better, feel like I have enough strength for another day or hour. I just feel so tired, so so so tired of all the work and pretending and trying. I have a 16 mos old son with the A and in t...

DLS · DLS

Hi, I am new here, and I am wondering what to do about my sister. She was clean for almost a year. Now she is smoking pot from the moment she wakes up until she passes out at night. It is really negatively affecting her life in many ways. She has gotten extensions for all her assignments at college, using dep...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I would really be interested in talking to/learning from some double winners in the program -- that they qualify for more than one fellowship?

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

It's been a while since I have been here and the thing that has been jumping out at me lately is the fact that everything changes. When I first came here I was in despair because I had just walked out with three children and left my AH. Now, almost four years later it seems like something so small and insig...

Hopeless · Hopeless

Am I the only one on the boards with a PFA? I know in my situation each time he came home drunk the worse the situation was (binge drinker) He was becoming angier (as I was) and angier, it went from him just denying it and passing out to verbal abuse, then at times physical... The verbal abu...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha ((((All)))) Honesty seems to be the asset of focus at the moment and I am (and have for a while) listening for feedback from others in recovery for their perceptions; ESH. I will be grateful. Take your time and keep and open mind with good recovery memory. practice, practice, practice!! ...

daisygirl · daisygirl

I need to find the courage to end this relationship and the strength to let go of him completely and not look back. Today is the day, I am going to his house to talk, once again. I love him but I know as long as he is an A, we can never have a normal stable life. I have to let go, not only for me but for...

Madison1 · Madison1

Ok hes sober 90 days and leaves me after the last five years of me supporting him while he was drunk. He got his good job back and now wants freedom and no responsibility because he is focusing on sobriety. In rehab he made promises to correct the wrongs he done now he realizes thats too stressful and too...

daisygirl · daisygirl

So, yes... I ended my relationship with him and can't get him out of my head. All weekend, I thought of him... why is it that when I think it is best to end things, correction.... KNOW it is best for me to end things, I beat myself up about it. I seem to only want him more. So, I could not take it anymore... Su...

shellsea · shellsea

On resentment... i guess i am doing a lot of things i don't want to do, feeling like i am trapped. A program friend suggested that i hold resentments to things that i force myself to do and do not want to do for my spouse. i keep working the program, but underneath it all, cannot accept the relationship i...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Need clarification here if possible........I have trouble sometimes with what is the disease vs. what is not. Especially because a lot of people who go through things such as what we all go through and deal with regarding break ups etc, dont even have an alcoholic or addict for a spouse or ex-spouse...

ayjay · ayjay

Well I tink it is pretty correct to say, my ex will do what he can to knock me down, more so if I try and let him see im moving on, getting strong, and keeping firm boundaries with him. He felt the need to leave a message on my phone last night, because I was not answering his calls. He felt the need to let me know...

Hopeless · Hopeless

The more I read some of the post on this site the more I realize that I'm SOOO not alone! Majority of the stories are my own especially the calling, texting, emails, threatening to kill himself, etc... THANK GOD I FOUND THIS MESSAGE BOARD!!!!!

New Member = ( · Hopeless

Hello... I'm new and lost = ( I've been with J for 3 years, we have a beautiful 20 month old daughter and I have a 12 year old son. "J" is a binge drinker he can go months/weeks without drinking but once he steps foot into a bar he can't leave... He choice of drink is hard liquor (Jagerm...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Talked to the A (Preview) A is starting his supervised visitations with our daughter this week so I had to call and find out when he was coming (i will not be home when he comes to see her, my mother is going to supervise his visitations)... Of course he automatically started with the "i miss you", "i love y...	Hopeless	6	746	Apr 26, 2010 by Hopeless
	List of Adult Behaviors Alanon adult list behaviors (Preview) Hi, Once in an Alanon meeting I heard a list read of 12 to 15 ways in which an adult should behave. What is this list? Where can I find it in the literature? I would love to find this list so I can make a copy for myself and learn it. It has things like, "an adult is happy for someone instead of envious when t...	bucknathaniel	2	1332	Apr 26, 2010 by abbyal
	If I Could Say Only One Thing------I Would Say Thank You Lois (Preview) To my MIP Family, David wrote a great post on gratitude today. I just watched the Hallmark Hall of Fame movie "When Love Is Not Enough". So I've had a double dose of gratitude today. If there is anyone in the family that watched the movie and did not tear-up several times then they didn't watch...	RLC	7	865	Apr 26, 2010 by cdngirl
	Gratitude (Preview) Hi Family, I got home a couple of hours ago from the small conference that my home group hosts every year. This was my seventh year attending and is my annual Al-Anon birthday celebration. On April 17, 2004 I attended this conference at the invitation of my then AA wife, and for that I am grateful. Grat...	david62	6	912	Apr 26, 2010 by Mandy123
	Gratitude always finds a way.... (Preview) I 1st Want to say THANK YOU to all who responded & helped lift me from my Slump Last week, every day I got on here & seen another response, it was really an uplifting part of my day, and helped carry me thru, many tears, many memories of those past... I DID Make a Meeting last night, and it was SOOOO ni...	Jozie	2	676	Apr 26, 2010 by hotrod
	Shine (Preview) Here's a little inspirational quote from Nelson Mandela: Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actual...	intothewoods	3	787	Apr 26, 2010 by pineapple
	new and learning(I hope) (Preview) I'm a wife of a addict/alcoholic. We've been together for 29 years, 25 of them married. He was a drug user back in 1987, when I was pregnant with our first child. He entered rehab in 1988 and was clean for 18 years. He started using prescription drugs and when the debt piled high he turned to drinking to for...	hopeforrecovery	3	719	Apr 26, 2010 by pineapple
	I Never realized How Lost I Would Be Without---- What ?? (Preview) I have been without internet service for the last two day at my business, modem problems. If someone had told me ten or twelve years ago that I would have a hard time doing without the Internet--- my Black Labs--- a microwave--- and MIP, I would have told them they were crazy. But they would have been ri...	RLC	8	932	Apr 26, 2010 by pineapple
	Does Anyone Know (Preview) If the movie Love Is Not... Being Shown In The UK Or Even Online Perhaps?? Belle1x	belle1	3	605	Apr 25, 2010 by Mandy123
	I ended it... (Preview) Well, I had gone to his house the other day... but the timing was not right. Last night, he went out to the bars and I was once again left to worry and drive myself nuts. So, today he made me lunch. I went there to talk. He was certainly not prepared to hear what I had to say. I appeared strong (even thou...	daisygirl	11	913	Apr 25, 2010 by lonewolfmama
	Need to vent (Preview) Hi Guys, am after two punishing days, things went ok but very long. I come home to relax, and my A father rings, I have no way of knowing who is ringing, will have to get new phone and he starts complaining about why my a-brother is getting passed over for state housing, he has been passed over three times. I...	maire rua	3	829	Apr 25, 2010 by maire rua
	New and not sure... (Preview) Hello, I just joined this group a few moments ago because I have been "planning" to attend actual meetings but it never seems to happen with work. I am the adult child of an alcoholic mother and actually an alcoholic father as well. To keep this short she has been in rehab multiple times and...	CCC12	12	937	Apr 25, 2010 by maresie
	UPCOMING AL-ANON MESSAGE BOARD MEETING SCHEDULE (Preview) The upcoming Al-Anon Message Board Meeting was to be held this Sunday, April 25th @ 9:00PM...however, due to the high volume of interest in the upcoming movie: When Love is Not Enough; The Story of Lois Wilson, we are rescheduling the Al-Anon Message Board Meeting to be held on SATURDAY, APRIL 24th @...	lacewing	2	1181	Apr 25, 2010 by tlcate
	sick and a bit of apprehension (Preview) Who am I kidding, I am scared. Monday the 26th is the surgery on my shoulder.The tendon is torn away from the bone. Talking major stuff, drills, pins, screws....This is when I am in trouble. I can hold back the big gut pain of the lonliness and actually been lots better. But this brings me too far down. I wo...	lyndebi	10	739	Apr 25, 2010 by buick23
	New start (Preview) Hi all, I have had a chat with my ExABF it was quite nice but hard. He has gone back to Aa and has gotten himself somewhere to live. I told him I could not have a relationship with him anymore that cared for him but I needed to focus on my recovery, life and kids. He said that he was sorry for all the pain , tha...	Tracy	1	538	Apr 24, 2010 by RLC
	compromise not in my vocabulary. (Preview) Today I am going to an al anon conference which isn't as near to my home as I thought. I am having to compromise. In the past, in my perfectinist thinking anything less than total immersion would be a failure. I will probably go to a few workshops and that's about it. For now that's good enough. I had no g...	maresie	2	913	Apr 24, 2010 by maire rua
	And I still obsess... (Preview) I just wrote about this in another response to a post - but my obsessing is almost hardwired into me. It is a physical and automatic response to feeling as though I am out of control OR that abandonment or rejection may be imminent. My A and I live apart now. We had discussed that we would "Date"...	RunnerChick	2	834	Apr 24, 2010 by Tracy
	Update- of the good kind (Preview) I have spent a lot of time on here posting about the disruption to my world so I think you all deserve an update since this board helped me get thru it and I am now hoping to be on the "other" side. Quick back story- At the end of Jan, I discovered my new husband was an A. He had cleverly hid it until so...	Acatnip	2	801	Apr 24, 2010 by Jerry F
	My First Post- My Story (Preview) I am really glad to have found this message board! Feeling the need to share... Three months ago, after having an intervention for my bf, he agreed to go to rehab. I was so happy and relieved. He stayed for detox, but those people were "crazy losers". He was so "bored". He was &quo...	hopeforme	6	1082	Apr 24, 2010 by Tracy
	Trying to stay sane while my husband is gone for 28 days. (Preview) I know that it's been a long time since i've posted anything, but good news my husband has already gone through detox and is going to rehab :). I recently told my husband to get help or get out and he has followed through with getting help. I had enough of him yelling at the kids and putting them down and fi...	Kellie Bovarro	6	917	Apr 24, 2010 by RunnerChick
	My fear and denial (Preview) I feel as though I have tripped and landed back on step one. Have I truly let go and let God? Am I still trying to control my destiny by staying in a relationship with my A to keep our girls safe, to keep me from being vulnerable, to not feel abandoned? If that is not living in denial and letting fear keep...	Leetle	8	1266	Apr 24, 2010 by RunnerChick
	Damaged (Preview) I think I'm damaged, and I think there's no repair. Especially because I've lived way to long with no self esteem to ever really get any back. My dad was not an alcoholic, but he might as well have been, the way he treated me, and still treats me is not how a father should treat a daughter. I left that home...	sdisnie	11	1206	Apr 24, 2010 by RunnerChick
	Oh, I'm losing my mind... (Preview) Hi I'm new here and have been dealing with an alcoholic boyfriend for about 3 years. We have a 2 year old son and I am 7 months pregnant with a daughter. He already has an 11 year old daughter who he doesn't see anymore because her mother was so fed up. He drinks whenever he finds money somewhere, someti...	JrN-Celias Mami	10	1210	Apr 23, 2010 by tlcate
	in pain (Preview) I am so sad, My ABF gas been back in the grips of the disease for around three weeks. The consequences he now faces are big lost his best friend stole 1400 off of him. His kids do not want to know. So he is trying with all his might to win me over. He has rang his sponsor and is going back to the rooms tonight....	Tracy	6	770	Apr 23, 2010 by tlcate
	Keeping Strength/My current story (Preview) I have made it clear to my qualifier that he needs to get his own place. I am allowing him to stay here while he saves money for the next 30 days. Partially because he has a 14 yr old daughter here as well. I also made it clear that there will be no alcohol in this house during that time and if he comes here after d...	chaztazchaz	5	625	Apr 23, 2010 by Jerry F
	When I Sit IN Wonder (Preview) Wow What a Couple of weeks: I think, My Last Meeting (F2F) was about 2 weeks ago! Not good for me! I see Now why I continue to stay IN this program, for with out it, I Tend to go backwards... In that F2F, We Spoke on 4th Step, I had said that when left now to my own thoughts, they tend to be cloudy, now that I have &...	Jozie	4	843	Apr 23, 2010 by hotrod
	The children of A's... (Preview) To the members that have children with A's... What type of boundaries to you set when it comes to the kids? Does your A have a custody order? How long did you allow the A to not see your kids? It's my understanding that as long as I have a PFA on him he is not allowed to have ANY contact with me but h...	Hopeless	7	1095	Apr 23, 2010 by Hopeless
	It's Friday!!! (Preview) Per court order A is suppose to give me child support money starting TODAY! I've been getting messages all week about how bad he wants to see his daughter, etc... I agreed on supervised visits starting on Monday... Let's just see how interested he is in the well being of our daughter.... *Fingers...	Hopeless	0	471	Apr 23, 2010 by Hopeless
	Paranoia...bitter divorce!! (Preview) Hi I have posted on here before and found the strength to leave a 4 year marriage which was absolute misery due to violence, secret drinking and debt worries. To cut a long story short and not wishing to ramble on as I grew tired of my own self pity and guilt, resentment and had to dump that extra load off my b...	evaangel	9	1291	Apr 23, 2010 by Bettina
	WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH (Preview) When Love is Not Enough, the Lois Wilson Story. New Hallmark movie on tv April 25. I can't wait to see it. wp	wp	0	533	Apr 22, 2010 by wp
	and the desperation begins... (Preview) After leaving from his house at lunch, he has started emailing me and texting me, wanting to know if I am going to come over. He sent me this email after I left his house and ended our relationship: It breaks my heart to have to end things this way, I love you, you are the world to me. Please find it in yo...	daisygirl	4	787	Apr 22, 2010 by RLC
	Give me the strength!!! (Preview) I am leaving in about 30 mins. to go over to his house. My stomach is already rumbling with nerves and anxiety. One look at him and I know he will have me. I know for me, the best way is not to see him... but we always do. What will be different? I can already tell you what will happen... We will talk and h...	daisygirl	6	813	Apr 22, 2010 by daisygirl
	I am thrilled! (Preview) I go to our local AA meetings every Monday night. I offer to hold a separate meeting for Alanon and explain who Alanon is for. I have held a separate meeting maybe once a year. I just attend AA or go outside the room and read the readings. In the past month, I have had an Alanoner come twice. She is much younge...	nmike	5	854	Apr 22, 2010 by miss lucy
	Wish someone had told me Divorce (Preview) Here is something I wish someone had told me 4 years ago..... If you even suspect that your marriage may be headed toward divorce...while you still have the chance...photocopy absolutly everything you can get your hands on. Every bank statement, pay stub, insurance form, income tax return, inv...	agatha	5	6995	Apr 22, 2010 by agatha
	THE LOIS WILSON STORY (Preview) THE LOIS WILSON STORY WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH AIRS THIS SUNDAY THE 25TH ON CBS JUST A REMINDER>>CHECK FOR YOUR LOCAL TIME.... LOVE IN RECOVERY, GRAMMIE	grammie	2	592	Apr 22, 2010 by belle1
	AA is not for him... (Preview) Just found out that the A no longer thinks AA is for him... He said that he will get a sponser and go to meetings when HE thinks it's necessary = / I'm trying to not let this bother me personally it's his life he is the one with the problem... Just a bit disappointed... I'm going to contact Domes...	Hopeless	8	1072	Apr 22, 2010 by Hopeless
	On-line Meetings... (Preview) Online meetings would be ideal for me (do plan on going F2F since I really need it).. I don't get it though?!?!? Do you post what is bothering you and your done? Is there any feedback? Just looking for some guidance as to how it works = )	Hopeless	1	542	Apr 22, 2010 by Mandy123
	Need a chair for Friday April 23 Morning Meeting (Preview) I have a doctor's appointment and will be unable to chair the meeting - if someone can step up and fill in for me, I would be most grateful! P.S. Thanks to kitty_of_light for filling in last week while I was completely bogged down with work and could not be there.	blender_girl	0	364	Apr 22, 2010 by blender_girl
	Lois W MOVIE COMING UP (Preview) When Love is Not Enough; the story of Lois Wilson. This is a new Hallmark Hall of Fame movie, which is showing next Saturday April 25 on tv. wp	wp	6	784	Apr 22, 2010 by grammie
	Big changes - now what? (Preview) Thank Goddess for Al Anon. The program has helped me build of framework of sanity in a very hard time. I came to the point of complete saturation in being able to see my alcoholic wallow in his misery in our house and be emotionally unstable in front of the kids. They know their dad is depressed and that i...	KellyCO	6	840	Apr 21, 2010 by maresie
	Living with a Storm Cloud (Preview) Just have to vent here! I'm still living with my AH, due to separate and move 4 states away in late May after graduation from college. So there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but.... Living with his negativity is wearing me down! He is always angry, depressed, drunk or ALL OF THE ABOVE 24/7! He's had pl...	intothewoods	3	769	Apr 21, 2010 by maresie
	Detachment comes first (Preview) I work in a dysfunctional environment and live in one too. My roomates are addicts and alcoholics and seem to go out of their way to create and manufacture chaos. At one time I took this all tremendously personally. I saw both the situations as a marker that I was doomed (dramatic I know!). Lately I h...	maresie	2	735	Apr 21, 2010 by kitty
	New to AlAnon- are there any other men? (Preview) Hello. I'm pretty new to AlAnon. I have been to four meetings, with three different groups. One of those meetings (a "beginner's meeting") consisted of just the moderator (a male) and myself. Another two of the meetings were just two ladies and myself...then last night I tried a differen...	xd	12	2043	Apr 21, 2010 by Destynee
	An Update....and a big THANK YOU! (Preview) Hi all and thank you for your words of support and experience regarding my Abf-sober's son and possible pot abuse. Turns out he did in fact smoke pot a couple of times. My bf confronted him and gave him a chance to be honest. He fessed up and is "on lockdown" now --as he calls it--until the e...	lizzakiss	2	820	Apr 21, 2010 by Jerry F
	Got a message from A... (Preview) He wanted me to know that his is 7 days sober (reminder he is a binge drinker and can months without drinking)... He says that he is working the program (which is the first time he has ever been to AA)... And that he wants to see his daughter, he is afraid that she is not going to remember him (she is 21 m...	Hopeless	7	986	Apr 21, 2010 by Hopeless
	ESH Please (Preview) Good Morning I would really like some feedback on this please.... For the past two years I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man who is 6 years sober and a very active member of AA. The problem is...although he is sober his disease has become quite active in the way of a food addition. I know this...	agatha	5	587	Apr 20, 2010 by agatha
	The only way to sanity-leave the A? (Preview) Hello on Sunday morning to everyone on the board. I love and hate to come here. Often I scroll though the stories and feel better, feel like I have enough strength for another day or hour. I just feel so tired, so so so tired of all the work and pretending and trying. I have a 16 mos old son with the A and in t...	lonewolfmama	15	1085	Apr 20, 2010 by maire rua
	sister in active addiction...what boundaries to set? (Preview) Hi, I am new here, and I am wondering what to do about my sister. She was clean for almost a year. Now she is smoking pot from the moment she wakes up until she passes out at night. It is really negatively affecting her life in many ways. She has gotten extensions for all her assignments at college, using dep...	DLS	7	1058	Apr 20, 2010 by maresie
	Any double winners? (Preview) I would really be interested in talking to/learning from some double winners in the program -- that they qualify for more than one fellowship?	RunnerChick	4	461	Apr 20, 2010 by maire rua
	Everything changes. (long) (Preview) It's been a while since I have been here and the thing that has been jumping out at me lately is the fact that everything changes. When I first came here I was in despair because I had just walked out with three children and left my AH. Now, almost four years later it seems like something so small and insig...	carolinagirl	6	655	Apr 20, 2010 by Mandy123
	Progressively worse... (Preview) Am I the only one on the boards with a PFA? I know in my situation each time he came home drunk the worse the situation was (binge drinker) He was becoming angier (as I was) and angier, it went from him just denying it and passing out to verbal abuse, then at times physical... The verbal abu...	Hopeless	6	1205	Apr 20, 2010 by Hopeless
	Honesty discussion... (Preview) Aloha ((((All)))) Honesty seems to be the asset of focus at the moment and I am (and have for a while) listening for feedback from others in recovery for their perceptions; ESH. I will be grateful. Take your time and keep and open mind with good recovery memory. practice, practice, practice!! ...	Jerry F	11	4818	Apr 20, 2010 by Mandy123
	Today (Preview) I need to find the courage to end this relationship and the strength to let go of him completely and not look back. Today is the day, I am going to his house to talk, once again. I love him but I know as long as he is an A, we can never have a normal stable life. I have to let go, not only for me but for...	daisygirl	10	903	Apr 20, 2010 by Mandy123
	The aftermath (Preview) Ok hes sober 90 days and leaves me after the last five years of me supporting him while he was drunk. He got his good job back and now wants freedom and no responsibility because he is focusing on sobriety. In rehab he made promises to correct the wrongs he done now he realizes thats too stressful and too...	Madison1	5	924	Apr 20, 2010 by Mandy123
	Addicted to A (Preview) So, yes... I ended my relationship with him and can't get him out of my head. All weekend, I thought of him... why is it that when I think it is best to end things, correction.... KNOW it is best for me to end things, I beat myself up about it. I seem to only want him more. So, I could not take it anymore... Su...	daisygirl	7	1136	Apr 20, 2010 by nmike
	On Resentment (Preview) On resentment... i guess i am doing a lot of things i don't want to do, feeling like i am trapped. A program friend suggested that i hold resentments to things that i force myself to do and do not want to do for my spouse. i keep working the program, but underneath it all, cannot accept the relationship i...	shellsea	5	517	Apr 20, 2010 by shellsea
	Which one is the disease? (Preview) Need clarification here if possible........I have trouble sometimes with what is the disease vs. what is not. Especially because a lot of people who go through things such as what we all go through and deal with regarding break ups etc, dont even have an alcoholic or addict for a spouse or ex-spouse...	sdisnie	12	916	Apr 20, 2010 by lyndebi
	Numb (Preview) Well I tink it is pretty correct to say, my ex will do what he can to knock me down, more so if I try and let him see im moving on, getting strong, and keeping firm boundaries with him. He felt the need to leave a message on my phone last night, because I was not answering his calls. He felt the need to let me know...	ayjay	2	508	Apr 20, 2010 by lyndebi
	Wow... (Preview) The more I read some of the post on this site the more I realize that I'm SOOO not alone! Majority of the stories are my own especially the calling, texting, emails, threatening to kill himself, etc... THANK GOD I FOUND THIS MESSAGE BOARD!!!!!	Hopeless	2	516	Apr 20, 2010 by lyndebi
	New Member = ( (Preview) Hello... I'm new and lost = ( I've been with J for 3 years, we have a beautiful 20 month old daughter and I have a 12 year old son. "J" is a binge drinker he can go months/weeks without drinking but once he steps foot into a bar he can't leave... He choice of drink is hard liquor (Jagerm...	Hopeless	12	848	Apr 20, 2010 by Hopeless
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.