Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lacewing · lacewing

The upcoming Al-Anon Message Board Meeting was to be held this Sunday, April 25th @ 9:00PM...however, due to the high volume of interest in the upcoming movie: When Love is Not Enough; The Story of Lois Wilson, we are rescheduling the Al-Anon Message Board Meeting to be held on SATURDAY, APRIL 24th @...

lyndebi · lyndebi

Who am I kidding, I am scared. Monday the 26th is the surgery on my shoulder.The tendon is torn away from the bone. Talking major stuff, drills, pins, screws....This is when I am in trouble. I can hold back the big gut pain of the lonliness and actually been lots better. But this brings me too far down. I wo...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, I have had a chat with my ExABF it was quite nice but hard. He has gone back to Aa and has gotten himself somewhere to live. I told him I could not have a relationship with him anymore that cared for him but I needed to focus on my recovery, life and kids. He said that he was sorry for all the pain , tha...

maresie · maresie

Today I am going to an al anon conference which isn't as near to my home as I thought. I am having to compromise. In the past, in my perfectinist thinking anything less than total immersion would be a failure. I will probably go to a few workshops and that's about it. For now that's good enough. I had no g...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I just wrote about this in another response to a post - but my obsessing is almost hardwired into me. It is a physical and automatic response to feeling as though I am out of control OR that abandonment or rejection may be imminent. My A and I live apart now. We had discussed that we would "Date"...

Acatnip · Acatnip

I have spent a lot of time on here posting about the disruption to my world so I think you all deserve an update since this board helped me get thru it and I am now hoping to be on the "other" side. Quick back story- At the end of Jan, I discovered my new husband was an A. He had cleverly hid it until so...

hopeforme · hopeforme

I am really glad to have found this message board! Feeling the need to share... Three months ago, after having an intervention for my bf, he agreed to go to rehab. I was so happy and relieved. He stayed for detox, but those people were "crazy losers". He was so "bored". He was &quo...

Kellie Bovarro · Kellie Bovarro

I know that it's been a long time since i've posted anything, but good news my husband has already gone through detox and is going to rehab :). I recently told my husband to get help or get out and he has followed through with getting help. I had enough of him yelling at the kids and putting them down and fi...

Leetle · Leetle

I feel as though I have tripped and landed back on step one. Have I truly let go and let God? Am I still trying to control my destiny by staying in a relationship with my A to keep our girls safe, to keep me from being vulnerable, to not feel abandoned? If that is not living in denial and letting fear keep...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I think I'm damaged, and I think there's no repair. Especially because I've lived way to long with no self esteem to ever really get any back. My dad was not an alcoholic, but he might as well have been, the way he treated me, and still treats me is not how a father should treat a daughter. I left that home...

JrN-Celias Mami · JrN-Celias Mami

Hi I'm new here and have been dealing with an alcoholic boyfriend for about 3 years. We have a 2 year old son and I am 7 months pregnant with a daughter. He already has an 11 year old daughter who he doesn't see anymore because her mother was so fed up. He drinks whenever he finds money somewhere, someti...

Tracy · Tracy

I am so sad, My ABF gas been back in the grips of the disease for around three weeks. The consequences he now faces are big lost his best friend stole 1400 off of him. His kids do not want to know. So he is trying with all his might to win me over. He has rang his sponsor and is going back to the rooms tonight....

chaztazchaz · chaztazchaz

I have made it clear to my qualifier that he needs to get his own place. I am allowing him to stay here while he saves money for the next 30 days. Partially because he has a 14 yr old daughter here as well. I also made it clear that there will be no alcohol in this house during that time and if he comes here after d...

Jozie · Jozie

Wow What a Couple of weeks: I think, My Last Meeting (F2F) was about 2 weeks ago! Not good for me! I see Now why I continue to stay IN this program, for with out it, I Tend to go backwards... In that F2F, We Spoke on 4th Step, I had said that when left now to my own thoughts, they tend to be cloudy, now that I have &...

Hopeless · Hopeless

To the members that have children with A's... What type of boundaries to you set when it comes to the kids? Does your A have a custody order? How long did you allow the A to not see your kids? It's my understanding that as long as I have a PFA on him he is not allowed to have ANY contact with me but h...

Hopeless · Hopeless

Per court order A is suppose to give me child support money starting TODAY! I've been getting messages all week about how bad he wants to see his daughter, etc... I agreed on supervised visits starting on Monday... Let's just see how interested he is in the well being of our daughter.... *Fingers...

evaangel · evaangel

Hi I have posted on here before and found the strength to leave a 4 year marriage which was absolute misery due to violence, secret drinking and debt worries. To cut a long story short and not wishing to ramble on as I grew tired of my own self pity and guilt, resentment and had to dump that extra load off my b...

wp · wp

When Love is Not Enough, the Lois Wilson Story. New Hallmark movie on tv April 25. I can't wait to see it. wp

daisygirl · daisygirl

After leaving from his house at lunch, he has started emailing me and texting me, wanting to know if I am going to come over. He sent me this email after I left his house and ended our relationship: It breaks my heart to have to end things this way, I love you, you are the world to me. Please find it in yo...

daisygirl · daisygirl

I am leaving in about 30 mins. to go over to his house. My stomach is already rumbling with nerves and anxiety. One look at him and I know he will have me. I know for me, the best way is not to see him... but we always do. What will be different? I can already tell you what will happen... We will talk and h...

nmike · nmike

I go to our local AA meetings every Monday night. I offer to hold a separate meeting for Alanon and explain who Alanon is for. I have held a separate meeting maybe once a year. I just attend AA or go outside the room and read the readings. In the past month, I have had an Alanoner come twice. She is much younge...

agatha · agatha

Here is something I wish someone had told me 4 years ago..... If you even suspect that your marriage may be headed toward divorce...while you still have the chance...photocopy absolutly everything you can get your hands on. Every bank statement, pay stub, insurance form, income tax return, inv...

grammie · grammie

THE LOIS WILSON STORY WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH AIRS THIS SUNDAY THE 25TH ON CBS JUST A REMINDER>>CHECK FOR YOUR LOCAL TIME.... LOVE IN RECOVERY, GRAMMIE

Hopeless · Hopeless

Just found out that the A no longer thinks AA is for him... He said that he will get a sponser and go to meetings when HE thinks it's necessary = / I'm trying to not let this bother me personally it's his life he is the one with the problem... Just a bit disappointed... I'm going to contact Domes...

Hopeless · Hopeless

Online meetings would be ideal for me (do plan on going F2F since I really need it).. I don't get it though?!?!? Do you post what is bothering you and your done? Is there any feedback? Just looking for some guidance as to how it works = )

blender_girl · blender_girl

I have a doctor's appointment and will be unable to chair the meeting - if someone can step up and fill in for me, I would be most grateful! P.S. Thanks to kitty_of_light for filling in last week while I was completely bogged down with work and could not be there.

wp · wp

When Love is Not Enough; the story of Lois Wilson. This is a new Hallmark Hall of Fame movie, which is showing next Saturday April 25 on tv. wp

KellyCO · KellyCO

Thank Goddess for Al Anon. The program has helped me build of framework of sanity in a very hard time. I came to the point of complete saturation in being able to see my alcoholic wallow in his misery in our house and be emotionally unstable in front of the kids. They know their dad is depressed and that i...

intothewoods · intothewoods

Just have to vent here! I'm still living with my AH, due to separate and move 4 states away in late May after graduation from college. So there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but.... Living with his negativity is wearing me down! He is always angry, depressed, drunk or ALL OF THE ABOVE 24/7! He's had pl...

maresie · maresie

I work in a dysfunctional environment and live in one too. My roomates are addicts and alcoholics and seem to go out of their way to create and manufacture chaos. At one time I took this all tremendously personally. I saw both the situations as a marker that I was doomed (dramatic I know!). Lately I h...

xd · xd

Hello. I'm pretty new to AlAnon. I have been to four meetings, with three different groups. One of those meetings (a "beginner's meeting") consisted of just the moderator (a male) and myself. Another two of the meetings were just two ladies and myself...then last night I tried a differen...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

Hi all and thank you for your words of support and experience regarding my Abf-sober's son and possible pot abuse. Turns out he did in fact smoke pot a couple of times. My bf confronted him and gave him a chance to be honest. He fessed up and is "on lockdown" now --as he calls it--until the e...

Hopeless · Hopeless

He wanted me to know that his is 7 days sober (reminder he is a binge drinker and can months without drinking)... He says that he is working the program (which is the first time he has ever been to AA)... And that he wants to see his daughter, he is afraid that she is not going to remember him (she is 21 m...

agatha · agatha

Good Morning I would really like some feedback on this please.... For the past two years I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man who is 6 years sober and a very active member of AA. The problem is...although he is sober his disease has become quite active in the way of a food addition. I know this...

lonewolfmama · lonewolfmama

Hello on Sunday morning to everyone on the board. I love and hate to come here. Often I scroll though the stories and feel better, feel like I have enough strength for another day or hour. I just feel so tired, so so so tired of all the work and pretending and trying. I have a 16 mos old son with the A and in t...

DLS · DLS

Hi, I am new here, and I am wondering what to do about my sister. She was clean for almost a year. Now she is smoking pot from the moment she wakes up until she passes out at night. It is really negatively affecting her life in many ways. She has gotten extensions for all her assignments at college, using dep...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I would really be interested in talking to/learning from some double winners in the program -- that they qualify for more than one fellowship?

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

It's been a while since I have been here and the thing that has been jumping out at me lately is the fact that everything changes. When I first came here I was in despair because I had just walked out with three children and left my AH. Now, almost four years later it seems like something so small and insig...

Hopeless · Hopeless

Am I the only one on the boards with a PFA? I know in my situation each time he came home drunk the worse the situation was (binge drinker) He was becoming angier (as I was) and angier, it went from him just denying it and passing out to verbal abuse, then at times physical... The verbal abu...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha ((((All)))) Honesty seems to be the asset of focus at the moment and I am (and have for a while) listening for feedback from others in recovery for their perceptions; ESH. I will be grateful. Take your time and keep and open mind with good recovery memory. practice, practice, practice!! ...

daisygirl · daisygirl

I need to find the courage to end this relationship and the strength to let go of him completely and not look back. Today is the day, I am going to his house to talk, once again. I love him but I know as long as he is an A, we can never have a normal stable life. I have to let go, not only for me but for...

Madison1 · Madison1

Ok hes sober 90 days and leaves me after the last five years of me supporting him while he was drunk. He got his good job back and now wants freedom and no responsibility because he is focusing on sobriety. In rehab he made promises to correct the wrongs he done now he realizes thats too stressful and too...

daisygirl · daisygirl

So, yes... I ended my relationship with him and can't get him out of my head. All weekend, I thought of him... why is it that when I think it is best to end things, correction.... KNOW it is best for me to end things, I beat myself up about it. I seem to only want him more. So, I could not take it anymore... Su...

shellsea · shellsea

On resentment... i guess i am doing a lot of things i don't want to do, feeling like i am trapped. A program friend suggested that i hold resentments to things that i force myself to do and do not want to do for my spouse. i keep working the program, but underneath it all, cannot accept the relationship i...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Need clarification here if possible........I have trouble sometimes with what is the disease vs. what is not. Especially because a lot of people who go through things such as what we all go through and deal with regarding break ups etc, dont even have an alcoholic or addict for a spouse or ex-spouse...

ayjay · ayjay

Well I tink it is pretty correct to say, my ex will do what he can to knock me down, more so if I try and let him see im moving on, getting strong, and keeping firm boundaries with him. He felt the need to leave a message on my phone last night, because I was not answering his calls. He felt the need to let me know...

Hopeless · Hopeless

The more I read some of the post on this site the more I realize that I'm SOOO not alone! Majority of the stories are my own especially the calling, texting, emails, threatening to kill himself, etc... THANK GOD I FOUND THIS MESSAGE BOARD!!!!!

New Member = ( · Hopeless

Hello... I'm new and lost = ( I've been with J for 3 years, we have a beautiful 20 month old daughter and I have a 12 year old son. "J" is a binge drinker he can go months/weeks without drinking but once he steps foot into a bar he can't leave... He choice of drink is hard liquor (Jagerm...

gandalf92478 · gandalf92478

So, I have a choice and I need help making it. I am leaving St. Thomas. I have already bought my dad a plane ticket back to the states. a) give my dad 200.00(1st months rent) to let him stay on St. Thomas and recv unemployment benifits and stay on a boat for 6 months. b) Say no Im not giving you any more money...

Maria123 · Maria123

Invitation to Happiness was the theme for the Massachusetts State Convention this weekend. Boy am I glad I accepted this invitation . . . a weekend of meetings, fellowship, friendships reunited and new ones made . . . what a gift. We had over 500 in attendance from all over New England. We had two membe...

Destynee · Destynee

He called last night to say he was thrown out and to pick him up. It was 11PM. I had 2 sleeping kids. No way was I going. So they let him stay overnight and I have to get him today. It's only 5 days he was there and that was detox. I'm at my wits end.

gandalf92478 · gandalf92478

Hello Friends, My name is Dustin. I am very new. In fact this is my first time even researching my issue. I was sent here by my aunt because she thought this would help. I belive my dad is an alcoholic and uses me. My dad hasn't had a job for months. And, this is not the first time he has mooched off of me. I am co...

oppida · oppida

On Thursday I talked to H about his drinking. I started out nagging and being "mommy" and then stopped myself and talked to him in "I" statements and actually expressed my emotions (something that is VERY hard for me). I told him that I was scared about his drinking, scared that...

bchgurl249 · bchgurl249

Hello Everyone, I'm totally new to Alanon. My mom is an alcoholic and has been for years. She also takes anti-anxiety meds and depression meds. She doesn't think she has a problem. The family, my brother, father and I have tried to talk to her with no results. My dad ended up leaving for a few days a...

Acatnip · Acatnip

After a tumultious beginning to the new year chronicled by my posts here, it seems things are finally looking better and on the upswing. AH is finally in therapy and going faithfully to his AA meetings. He has sought support from our family doctor and is learning to live one day at a time. I have not retur...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting due to commitment with my lawyer. Hopefully, another OP will be available and if not, another member could step up to chair the meeting. Thanks

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I KNOW meetings help. I KNOW I need to be in the rooms. But why is it so hard to get there? I know I need a program in my life - so why do Iresist giving myself over to it completely? I promise myself I am going to go to a meeting - then I do not go and I beat myself up, lose hope and credibility. I must remember - nothi...

maresie · maresie

One of my new insights is that my family of origin had an attitude of contempt and derision for certain people and that never changed no matter what happened that didn't change. When I come across a person like the ex A who exhibits the same contempt and derision I was hooked in by not being able to accept...

miss lucy · miss lucy

hi everyone. have been so busy studying i havent had chance to pop in for a while. am doing great with my dog trainer course - i have one more test to do and then i am fully qualified! my business is starting to take shape and i have just been accepted as a foster carer for one of the local voluntary rescue org...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I've been thinking a lot the past few days about my family of origin and how dysfunctional it was and still is. My mom seems to want to live in a complete atmosphere of chaos and drama - every day it seems like there's something else that's stressing her out (i.e. a good reason to drink). My stepfather tr...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	UPCOMING AL-ANON MESSAGE BOARD MEETING SCHEDULE (Preview) The upcoming Al-Anon Message Board Meeting was to be held this Sunday, April 25th @ 9:00PM...however, due to the high volume of interest in the upcoming movie: When Love is Not Enough; The Story of Lois Wilson, we are rescheduling the Al-Anon Message Board Meeting to be held on SATURDAY, APRIL 24th @...	lacewing	2	1176	Apr 25, 2010 by tlcate
	sick and a bit of apprehension (Preview) Who am I kidding, I am scared. Monday the 26th is the surgery on my shoulder.The tendon is torn away from the bone. Talking major stuff, drills, pins, screws....This is when I am in trouble. I can hold back the big gut pain of the lonliness and actually been lots better. But this brings me too far down. I wo...	lyndebi	10	733	Apr 25, 2010 by buick23
	New start (Preview) Hi all, I have had a chat with my ExABF it was quite nice but hard. He has gone back to Aa and has gotten himself somewhere to live. I told him I could not have a relationship with him anymore that cared for him but I needed to focus on my recovery, life and kids. He said that he was sorry for all the pain , tha...	Tracy	1	536	Apr 24, 2010 by RLC
	compromise not in my vocabulary. (Preview) Today I am going to an al anon conference which isn't as near to my home as I thought. I am having to compromise. In the past, in my perfectinist thinking anything less than total immersion would be a failure. I will probably go to a few workshops and that's about it. For now that's good enough. I had no g...	maresie	2	909	Apr 24, 2010 by maire rua
	And I still obsess... (Preview) I just wrote about this in another response to a post - but my obsessing is almost hardwired into me. It is a physical and automatic response to feeling as though I am out of control OR that abandonment or rejection may be imminent. My A and I live apart now. We had discussed that we would "Date"...	RunnerChick	2	828	Apr 24, 2010 by Tracy
	Update- of the good kind (Preview) I have spent a lot of time on here posting about the disruption to my world so I think you all deserve an update since this board helped me get thru it and I am now hoping to be on the "other" side. Quick back story- At the end of Jan, I discovered my new husband was an A. He had cleverly hid it until so...	Acatnip	2	793	Apr 24, 2010 by Jerry F
	My First Post- My Story (Preview) I am really glad to have found this message board! Feeling the need to share... Three months ago, after having an intervention for my bf, he agreed to go to rehab. I was so happy and relieved. He stayed for detox, but those people were "crazy losers". He was so "bored". He was &quo...	hopeforme	6	1080	Apr 24, 2010 by Tracy
	Trying to stay sane while my husband is gone for 28 days. (Preview) I know that it's been a long time since i've posted anything, but good news my husband has already gone through detox and is going to rehab :). I recently told my husband to get help or get out and he has followed through with getting help. I had enough of him yelling at the kids and putting them down and fi...	Kellie Bovarro	6	913	Apr 24, 2010 by RunnerChick
	My fear and denial (Preview) I feel as though I have tripped and landed back on step one. Have I truly let go and let God? Am I still trying to control my destiny by staying in a relationship with my A to keep our girls safe, to keep me from being vulnerable, to not feel abandoned? If that is not living in denial and letting fear keep...	Leetle	8	1261	Apr 24, 2010 by RunnerChick
	Damaged (Preview) I think I'm damaged, and I think there's no repair. Especially because I've lived way to long with no self esteem to ever really get any back. My dad was not an alcoholic, but he might as well have been, the way he treated me, and still treats me is not how a father should treat a daughter. I left that home...	sdisnie	11	1204	Apr 24, 2010 by RunnerChick
	Oh, I'm losing my mind... (Preview) Hi I'm new here and have been dealing with an alcoholic boyfriend for about 3 years. We have a 2 year old son and I am 7 months pregnant with a daughter. He already has an 11 year old daughter who he doesn't see anymore because her mother was so fed up. He drinks whenever he finds money somewhere, someti...	JrN-Celias Mami	10	1204	Apr 23, 2010 by tlcate
	in pain (Preview) I am so sad, My ABF gas been back in the grips of the disease for around three weeks. The consequences he now faces are big lost his best friend stole 1400 off of him. His kids do not want to know. So he is trying with all his might to win me over. He has rang his sponsor and is going back to the rooms tonight....	Tracy	6	766	Apr 23, 2010 by tlcate
	Keeping Strength/My current story (Preview) I have made it clear to my qualifier that he needs to get his own place. I am allowing him to stay here while he saves money for the next 30 days. Partially because he has a 14 yr old daughter here as well. I also made it clear that there will be no alcohol in this house during that time and if he comes here after d...	chaztazchaz	5	621	Apr 23, 2010 by Jerry F
	When I Sit IN Wonder (Preview) Wow What a Couple of weeks: I think, My Last Meeting (F2F) was about 2 weeks ago! Not good for me! I see Now why I continue to stay IN this program, for with out it, I Tend to go backwards... In that F2F, We Spoke on 4th Step, I had said that when left now to my own thoughts, they tend to be cloudy, now that I have &...	Jozie	4	836	Apr 23, 2010 by hotrod
	The children of A's... (Preview) To the members that have children with A's... What type of boundaries to you set when it comes to the kids? Does your A have a custody order? How long did you allow the A to not see your kids? It's my understanding that as long as I have a PFA on him he is not allowed to have ANY contact with me but h...	Hopeless	7	1090	Apr 23, 2010 by Hopeless
	It's Friday!!! (Preview) Per court order A is suppose to give me child support money starting TODAY! I've been getting messages all week about how bad he wants to see his daughter, etc... I agreed on supervised visits starting on Monday... Let's just see how interested he is in the well being of our daughter.... *Fingers...	Hopeless	0	466	Apr 23, 2010 by Hopeless
	Paranoia...bitter divorce!! (Preview) Hi I have posted on here before and found the strength to leave a 4 year marriage which was absolute misery due to violence, secret drinking and debt worries. To cut a long story short and not wishing to ramble on as I grew tired of my own self pity and guilt, resentment and had to dump that extra load off my b...	evaangel	9	1287	Apr 23, 2010 by Bettina
	WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH (Preview) When Love is Not Enough, the Lois Wilson Story. New Hallmark movie on tv April 25. I can't wait to see it. wp	wp	0	529	Apr 22, 2010 by wp
	and the desperation begins... (Preview) After leaving from his house at lunch, he has started emailing me and texting me, wanting to know if I am going to come over. He sent me this email after I left his house and ended our relationship: It breaks my heart to have to end things this way, I love you, you are the world to me. Please find it in yo...	daisygirl	4	784	Apr 22, 2010 by RLC
	Give me the strength!!! (Preview) I am leaving in about 30 mins. to go over to his house. My stomach is already rumbling with nerves and anxiety. One look at him and I know he will have me. I know for me, the best way is not to see him... but we always do. What will be different? I can already tell you what will happen... We will talk and h...	daisygirl	6	809	Apr 22, 2010 by daisygirl
	I am thrilled! (Preview) I go to our local AA meetings every Monday night. I offer to hold a separate meeting for Alanon and explain who Alanon is for. I have held a separate meeting maybe once a year. I just attend AA or go outside the room and read the readings. In the past month, I have had an Alanoner come twice. She is much younge...	nmike	5	849	Apr 22, 2010 by miss lucy
	Wish someone had told me Divorce (Preview) Here is something I wish someone had told me 4 years ago..... If you even suspect that your marriage may be headed toward divorce...while you still have the chance...photocopy absolutly everything you can get your hands on. Every bank statement, pay stub, insurance form, income tax return, inv...	agatha	5	6705	Apr 22, 2010 by agatha
	THE LOIS WILSON STORY (Preview) THE LOIS WILSON STORY WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH AIRS THIS SUNDAY THE 25TH ON CBS JUST A REMINDER>>CHECK FOR YOUR LOCAL TIME.... LOVE IN RECOVERY, GRAMMIE	grammie	2	588	Apr 22, 2010 by belle1
	AA is not for him... (Preview) Just found out that the A no longer thinks AA is for him... He said that he will get a sponser and go to meetings when HE thinks it's necessary = / I'm trying to not let this bother me personally it's his life he is the one with the problem... Just a bit disappointed... I'm going to contact Domes...	Hopeless	8	1068	Apr 22, 2010 by Hopeless
	On-line Meetings... (Preview) Online meetings would be ideal for me (do plan on going F2F since I really need it).. I don't get it though?!?!? Do you post what is bothering you and your done? Is there any feedback? Just looking for some guidance as to how it works = )	Hopeless	1	538	Apr 22, 2010 by Mandy123
	Need a chair for Friday April 23 Morning Meeting (Preview) I have a doctor's appointment and will be unable to chair the meeting - if someone can step up and fill in for me, I would be most grateful! P.S. Thanks to kitty_of_light for filling in last week while I was completely bogged down with work and could not be there.	blender_girl	0	360	Apr 22, 2010 by blender_girl
	Lois W MOVIE COMING UP (Preview) When Love is Not Enough; the story of Lois Wilson. This is a new Hallmark Hall of Fame movie, which is showing next Saturday April 25 on tv. wp	wp	6	779	Apr 22, 2010 by grammie
	Big changes - now what? (Preview) Thank Goddess for Al Anon. The program has helped me build of framework of sanity in a very hard time. I came to the point of complete saturation in being able to see my alcoholic wallow in his misery in our house and be emotionally unstable in front of the kids. They know their dad is depressed and that i...	KellyCO	6	835	Apr 21, 2010 by maresie
	Living with a Storm Cloud (Preview) Just have to vent here! I'm still living with my AH, due to separate and move 4 states away in late May after graduation from college. So there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but.... Living with his negativity is wearing me down! He is always angry, depressed, drunk or ALL OF THE ABOVE 24/7! He's had pl...	intothewoods	3	764	Apr 21, 2010 by maresie
	Detachment comes first (Preview) I work in a dysfunctional environment and live in one too. My roomates are addicts and alcoholics and seem to go out of their way to create and manufacture chaos. At one time I took this all tremendously personally. I saw both the situations as a marker that I was doomed (dramatic I know!). Lately I h...	maresie	2	730	Apr 21, 2010 by kitty
	New to AlAnon- are there any other men? (Preview) Hello. I'm pretty new to AlAnon. I have been to four meetings, with three different groups. One of those meetings (a "beginner's meeting") consisted of just the moderator (a male) and myself. Another two of the meetings were just two ladies and myself...then last night I tried a differen...	xd	12	2038	Apr 21, 2010 by Destynee
	An Update....and a big THANK YOU! (Preview) Hi all and thank you for your words of support and experience regarding my Abf-sober's son and possible pot abuse. Turns out he did in fact smoke pot a couple of times. My bf confronted him and gave him a chance to be honest. He fessed up and is "on lockdown" now --as he calls it--until the e...	lizzakiss	2	814	Apr 21, 2010 by Jerry F
	Got a message from A... (Preview) He wanted me to know that his is 7 days sober (reminder he is a binge drinker and can months without drinking)... He says that he is working the program (which is the first time he has ever been to AA)... And that he wants to see his daughter, he is afraid that she is not going to remember him (she is 21 m...	Hopeless	7	981	Apr 21, 2010 by Hopeless
	ESH Please (Preview) Good Morning I would really like some feedback on this please.... For the past two years I have been in a relationship with a wonderful man who is 6 years sober and a very active member of AA. The problem is...although he is sober his disease has become quite active in the way of a food addition. I know this...	agatha	5	583	Apr 20, 2010 by agatha
	The only way to sanity-leave the A? (Preview) Hello on Sunday morning to everyone on the board. I love and hate to come here. Often I scroll though the stories and feel better, feel like I have enough strength for another day or hour. I just feel so tired, so so so tired of all the work and pretending and trying. I have a 16 mos old son with the A and in t...	lonewolfmama	15	1079	Apr 20, 2010 by maire rua
	sister in active addiction...what boundaries to set? (Preview) Hi, I am new here, and I am wondering what to do about my sister. She was clean for almost a year. Now she is smoking pot from the moment she wakes up until she passes out at night. It is really negatively affecting her life in many ways. She has gotten extensions for all her assignments at college, using dep...	DLS	7	1054	Apr 20, 2010 by maresie
	Any double winners? (Preview) I would really be interested in talking to/learning from some double winners in the program -- that they qualify for more than one fellowship?	RunnerChick	4	458	Apr 20, 2010 by maire rua
	Everything changes. (long) (Preview) It's been a while since I have been here and the thing that has been jumping out at me lately is the fact that everything changes. When I first came here I was in despair because I had just walked out with three children and left my AH. Now, almost four years later it seems like something so small and insig...	carolinagirl	6	651	Apr 20, 2010 by Mandy123
	Progressively worse... (Preview) Am I the only one on the boards with a PFA? I know in my situation each time he came home drunk the worse the situation was (binge drinker) He was becoming angier (as I was) and angier, it went from him just denying it and passing out to verbal abuse, then at times physical... The verbal abu...	Hopeless	6	1199	Apr 20, 2010 by Hopeless
	Honesty discussion... (Preview) Aloha ((((All)))) Honesty seems to be the asset of focus at the moment and I am (and have for a while) listening for feedback from others in recovery for their perceptions; ESH. I will be grateful. Take your time and keep and open mind with good recovery memory. practice, practice, practice!! ...	Jerry F	11	4741	Apr 20, 2010 by Mandy123
	Today (Preview) I need to find the courage to end this relationship and the strength to let go of him completely and not look back. Today is the day, I am going to his house to talk, once again. I love him but I know as long as he is an A, we can never have a normal stable life. I have to let go, not only for me but for...	daisygirl	10	899	Apr 20, 2010 by Mandy123
	The aftermath (Preview) Ok hes sober 90 days and leaves me after the last five years of me supporting him while he was drunk. He got his good job back and now wants freedom and no responsibility because he is focusing on sobriety. In rehab he made promises to correct the wrongs he done now he realizes thats too stressful and too...	Madison1	5	921	Apr 20, 2010 by Mandy123
	Addicted to A (Preview) So, yes... I ended my relationship with him and can't get him out of my head. All weekend, I thought of him... why is it that when I think it is best to end things, correction.... KNOW it is best for me to end things, I beat myself up about it. I seem to only want him more. So, I could not take it anymore... Su...	daisygirl	7	1130	Apr 20, 2010 by nmike
	On Resentment (Preview) On resentment... i guess i am doing a lot of things i don't want to do, feeling like i am trapped. A program friend suggested that i hold resentments to things that i force myself to do and do not want to do for my spouse. i keep working the program, but underneath it all, cannot accept the relationship i...	shellsea	5	513	Apr 20, 2010 by shellsea
	Which one is the disease? (Preview) Need clarification here if possible........I have trouble sometimes with what is the disease vs. what is not. Especially because a lot of people who go through things such as what we all go through and deal with regarding break ups etc, dont even have an alcoholic or addict for a spouse or ex-spouse...	sdisnie	12	914	Apr 20, 2010 by lyndebi
	Numb (Preview) Well I tink it is pretty correct to say, my ex will do what he can to knock me down, more so if I try and let him see im moving on, getting strong, and keeping firm boundaries with him. He felt the need to leave a message on my phone last night, because I was not answering his calls. He felt the need to let me know...	ayjay	2	504	Apr 20, 2010 by lyndebi
	Wow... (Preview) The more I read some of the post on this site the more I realize that I'm SOOO not alone! Majority of the stories are my own especially the calling, texting, emails, threatening to kill himself, etc... THANK GOD I FOUND THIS MESSAGE BOARD!!!!!	Hopeless	2	510	Apr 20, 2010 by lyndebi
	New Member = ( (Preview) Hello... I'm new and lost = ( I've been with J for 3 years, we have a beautiful 20 month old daughter and I have a 12 year old son. "J" is a binge drinker he can go months/weeks without drinking but once he steps foot into a bar he can't leave... He choice of drink is hard liquor (Jagerm...	Hopeless	12	842	Apr 20, 2010 by Hopeless
	Where do I draw the line when setting boundries? Boundries line help do choice ultimatum (Preview) So, I have a choice and I need help making it. I am leaving St. Thomas. I have already bought my dad a plane ticket back to the states. a) give my dad 200.00(1st months rent) to let him stay on St. Thomas and recv unemployment benifits and stay on a boat for 6 months. b) Say no Im not giving you any more money...	gandalf92478	6	4782	Apr 19, 2010 by maresie
	Invitation to Happiness (Preview) Invitation to Happiness was the theme for the Massachusetts State Convention this weekend. Boy am I glad I accepted this invitation . . . a weekend of meetings, fellowship, friendships reunited and new ones made . . . what a gift. We had over 500 in attendance from all over New England. We had two membe...	Maria123	4	922	Apr 19, 2010 by Mandy123
	H got thrown out of rehab for fighting (Preview) He called last night to say he was thrown out and to pick him up. It was 11PM. I had 2 sleeping kids. No way was I going. So they let him stay overnight and I have to get him today. It's only 5 days he was there and that was detox. I'm at my wits end.	Destynee	5	893	Apr 19, 2010 by Jerry F
	Help DAD Enable Atheist Stop Enabling New to this New Help (Preview) Hello Friends, My name is Dustin. I am very new. In fact this is my first time even researching my issue. I was sent here by my aunt because she thought this would help. I belive my dad is an alcoholic and uses me. My dad hasn't had a job for months. And, this is not the first time he has mooched off of me. I am co...	gandalf92478	6	7488	Apr 19, 2010 by Jerry F
	I feel crazy! (Preview) On Thursday I talked to H about his drinking. I started out nagging and being "mommy" and then stopped myself and talked to him in "I" statements and actually expressed my emotions (something that is VERY hard for me). I told him that I was scared about his drinking, scared that...	oppida	10	779	Apr 19, 2010 by oppida
	New to the group..Hello (Preview) Hello Everyone, I'm totally new to Alanon. My mom is an alcoholic and has been for years. She also takes anti-anxiety meds and depression meds. She doesn't think she has a problem. The family, my brother, father and I have tried to talk to her with no results. My dad ended up leaving for a few days a...	bchgurl249	6	785	Apr 19, 2010 by Andrea12
	Is Anyone Ever Successful? (Preview) After a tumultious beginning to the new year chronicled by my posts here, it seems things are finally looking better and on the upswing. AH is finally in therapy and going faithfully to his AA meetings. He has sought support from our family doctor and is learning to live one day at a time. I have not retur...	Acatnip	11	1322	Apr 19, 2010 by mon123
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. meeting due to commitment with my lawyer. Hopefully, another OP will be available and if not, another member could step up to chair the meeting. Thanks	shimo	0	290	Apr 19, 2010 by shimo
	Getting back into the rooms... (Preview) I KNOW meetings help. I KNOW I need to be in the rooms. But why is it so hard to get there? I know I need a program in my life - so why do Iresist giving myself over to it completely? I promise myself I am going to go to a meeting - then I do not go and I beat myself up, lose hope and credibility. I must remember - nothi...	RunnerChick	10	770	Apr 19, 2010 by canadianguy
	Attitude (Preview) One of my new insights is that my family of origin had an attitude of contempt and derision for certain people and that never changed no matter what happened that didn't change. When I come across a person like the ex A who exhibits the same contempt and derision I was hooked in by not being able to accept...	maresie	8	1224	Apr 18, 2010 by nmike
	fresh hope and a new future looming (Preview) hi everyone. have been so busy studying i havent had chance to pop in for a while. am doing great with my dog trainer course - i have one more test to do and then i am fully qualified! my business is starting to take shape and i have just been accepted as a foster carer for one of the local voluntary rescue org...	miss lucy	2	644	Apr 18, 2010 by nmike
	Reliving old feelings from family of origin (Preview) I've been thinking a lot the past few days about my family of origin and how dysfunctional it was and still is. My mom seems to want to live in a complete atmosphere of chaos and drama - every day it seems like there's something else that's stressing her out (i.e. a good reason to drink). My stepfather tr...	White Rabbit	4	613	Apr 18, 2010 by bchgurl249
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.