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How to go about asking someone to be my sponsor
(Preview)
I started going to meetings a little over a year ago and stopped going about 6 months ago (got married and moved). Life's been great, but I really missed going to meetings so I'm back at my old group (we only moved to the next town). Anyway, I never got a sponsor back when I started going to meetings but I thi...
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Phoe
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3
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835
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3rd year's the charm
(Preview)
I celebrated my third Al-Anon birthday with some of my Al-Anon friends yesterday, along with three other January birthdays. It's so wonderful to take a look back at our accomplishments as time moves forward. Al-Anon has gifted me so many wonderful things... It's brought me closer to my HP than any ot...
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Aloha
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3
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686
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Just a little something that came to me one day
(Preview)
He leaves scars which you can't see
Why is he doing this to me?
Loves me Hates me
Tears me down
Yet no one sees the way I frown
He loves his beer
He loves his smoke
Ain't our life a bleeping joke
I try and keep the pain inside
But all I wanna do is cry
For 20 years I've loved this man
But had no idea
That...
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Evian
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8
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728
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Question about going back
(Preview)
Has anyone left their A, had him go into recovery and gone back successfully? If so, what were the parameters for your return? timing etc?
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anewyear
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10
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808
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A Testament to Denial...and Progress
(Preview)
As I think I've mentioned in the past, my AH has multiple DUIs in his past. He also has MANY friends with numerous DUIs, and it seems like another guy gets a DUI every few months or so. One of his buddies/co-workers was picked up for his second DUI over the holidays. Apparently his blood alcohol content...
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stephaniej
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5
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702
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What is wrong ???
(Preview)
hello again Everyone well I drove my son to rehab tonight....a very wonderful friend came with me....I am so happy that he is there and of course I am pray that he gets well......Now my question....I know he was ready and is in the right place but I can't stop crying and I am so upset that I am actually vomit...
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butterfliesnroses60
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5
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663
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I 'relapsed'.. as I like to call it.
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I haven't been posting and reading on here and going to meetings as much lately (last few weeks)... been busy (just me making excuses to justify what I know leeds to no good!)... and so, low and behold, I fall right back into my old patterns! Guess I needed to prove to myself, yet again, that n...
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danielle0516
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7
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700
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Thumbs Up A-Hubby
(Preview)
Hello Everyone! I have to give my A Hubby a thumbs up! Yesterday he joined me and about 100 family members at my Grandma's 94th birthday party. We had to arrive 1 hour early because I was co hosting the party and bringing food and chips, the weather was terrible and he had got called earlier to work and ha...
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Sincerely
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3
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500
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I need some E S & H....
(Preview)
Ok. I lost it Friday. I lost my serenity. I got it back too. All on my own, got it back. I would like to go on and on about what happened, here is the long and short of it: Friday night after work it began to snow very hard. I had an hour long drive ahead of me, with my son in the car. The drive is my normal com...
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sunflowergirl
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4
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658
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Friend marrying into dysfunction
(Preview)
I didn't want to hijack Lou's post, but she was talking about having a friend dating in a dysfunctional situation and I realized that this situation has been heavily on my mind for a few weeks. My best friend is getting married next month, and I see all the signs of an alcoholic family she is marrying in...
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White Rabbit
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7
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804
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Not sure how to approach this?
(Preview)
I have a frustrating situation with my Abf and I am not sure how to approach. I am open to ideas. First I should give some background. Four years I ago I found out I was pregnet by my ABF we weren't serious when it happened and when I told him he went back and fourth with what he wanted to do. I was going thro...
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parfait624
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13
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612
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Stopping In to say, Hi!
(Preview)
I haven't posted or been active here for years, but come by often to read, and thought I'd thank so many of you that have helped me greatly. I've learned a lot here, and so much from, John, in the past years. I'm a little shy about entering this domain but here I am. I am married to an active AH and have...
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VickieB
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3
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754
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I am Back
(Preview)
Hello All It has been a long time since I have been here...I just wanted to let everyone know that I have not forgotten...My life was crazy busy for a bit.....I appreciate everyone.....A short update...I continue to attend meetings every week and have learned a lot...and still learning.......my da...
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butterfliesnroses60
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3
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829
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What sparked the previous post...
(Preview)
I just drove over 800 miles to meet up with my wife in another state. She said she had to get away and think. She told me she was on her way to Indianapolis, IN to visit with her deceased ex husbands mother who she could talk to about anything. It went exactly as bad as I thought it might as I left North Car...
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John
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7
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770
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hard to keep track of time...
(Preview)
It has been so hard to keep track of time lately! maybe because it is going so fast! I am on here on Saturday & now it is Monday! I am still sleeping well, am still holding on to my serenity. I am still trying to not control everyone & everything in my life! If it doesn't go my way, will I shrivel up &...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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675
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How I feel
(Preview)
I work my program, attend meetings and my alcoholic boyfriend, (we lived together for many years and have had some wonderful times together) is recovering. My therapist, many years ago, told me that alcoholics will "sneak" alcohol even while recovering. They are not drunk but through...
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marcia
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10
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1013
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Wedding Anniversary
(Preview)
Today is my 39th Wedding Anniversary. I was so happy that day - and for most of the years thereafter. Good thing we cannot see round corners! I made an effort. I bought him a card, although it took me quite a long time to find one that just said "Happy Anniversary Husband" rather than "Hap...
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Tattyhead
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7
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633
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Feeling so sorry for the ExA
(Preview)
I haven't yet to see the ExA face to face......it's been since before Thanksgiving that I have! Through email I set up a time for him to come to my house to get a few things from the garage (tool box etc) I had a friend of mine (a very big guy who is 6'5) be here so there would be no scene. I was able to just stay...
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sdisnie
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6
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486
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25 years!
(Preview)
I just want to share w/ all of you that on Tuesday 25 years ago I attended my first Alanon meeting. I walked into my first meeting on January 4, 1986 & have tried to inspire people ever since. I can't say that I attended meetings the whole time but I did go to a lot of open AA meetings. I didn't "get&q...
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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731
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Owning My Part vs. Him Owning His
(Preview)
I've been with my bf for almost two years. He has about 20 years dry but only really started working the program about six or seven months ago. I still have to work my program very hard around him due to his mood swings, attitudes and oftentimes anger issues. It isn't perfect but we both are trying to recov...
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Saved By Grace
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5
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797
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Forgiving my husband means putting our children at risk
(Preview)
Hi everyone, This is my first time here, or on any recovery messageboard. I have been with my husband for more than 10 years, married for 8.5. We have two beautiful boys. I knew he was an alcoholic when I married him, but we were so young - I thought it would just naturally improve. Silly me. Long story shor...
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hollygoheavily
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14
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1730
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Alcohol in Cooking
(Preview)
Hello! I'm new and have a question that I have not been able to find the answer. First a little about me. I live with my significant other who is a recovering alcoholic. She has been sober for three 1/2 years, we have been together for a 11 years. She has never atte...
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beaglegal
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11
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534
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MONDAY A.M. MEETING - JAN 10
(Preview)
I am unable to chair the Monday morning meeting as I have a Dr.'s appointment and will be unable to get back home in time to chair. Hoping someone will be able to step up for me. Thanks
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shimo
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1
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480
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My friend and the chaos
(Preview)
One of my closest friends is an A I do believe. When I met him he was sober but seemed to be a dry drunk. Of course at the time I didn't know that. I just knew something was wrong. We started out dating, but that didn't last long as I knew he wasn't right for me. We remained good friends. I find though sinc...
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clep
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4
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908
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thoughts while waiting for the paint to dry...
(Preview)
Feeling the need to post tonight, though no real topic. Just stuff, I guess... I am sitting in my 17 yr old son's bedroom, literally waiting for paint to dry. My exAh (now sober) came over today and we cleaned it out and primered it. It was hideous and depressing, and time for a change. I will let my so...
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Loupiness
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7
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829
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Just stuff
(Preview)
Oregon is cold, snow is suppose to come. The person I shared I am emailing with is showing more and more who he is. Day at a time. Have his number and am going to call. Theres so much positive. More of a giver, much more than I originally saw. Is a good friend. As much as you can be by email. I must be all grown up,...
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Debilyn
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1
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831
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AA Books online
(Preview)
I would like to read the Al-anon book we used online. Where can I find it?
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Cocoon
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2
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2416
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This inspired me today. . .
(Preview)
A crisis becomes a breaking point when we fail to use it as a turning point.
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BlazeB
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6
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844
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One more drink and he's out?
(Preview)
so I made it very clear to AH that if he has another drink, then i take the kids and leave. we have been seeing a therapist and made my point clear to him in front of her. He hasn't drank since last week. It's only a matter of time. I don't want to live that life anymore. I have given it YEARS!!! I am DONE w...
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need lots of help
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16
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1129
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Confronting, but not about drinking
(Preview)
I'm struggling with the issue of confronting my wife, especially about things not related to drinking. My attitude lately has been her issues are her issues, and I'm not going to confront her on the things she does that I don't like. However, my appointment with my therapist this week has me a bit confu...
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usedtobeanyer
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16
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1469
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not again!!!!!
(Preview)
why am I allowing myself to feel such anxiety about knowing my A son is out in a bar tonight and will be driving when he leaves? Tonight I am feeling envious of all moms who know their grown child is at home with their family...where they should be. HP...help me to be able to relax a little tonight
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Gailey
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3
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1222
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Starting A Saturday Morning Step Study
(Preview)
My local Tuesday night group is starting a step study tomorrow morning (Sat.). We thought it was something that would be beneficial to old and new member alike. Our plans are to have one meeting each month until the study is complete. We decided we would have no time table on how many meetings we would al...
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RLC
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3
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970
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Struggling with being kind to AH
(Preview)
My AH hasn't had a drink in about a week and a half, and that part has been a blessing. Over the last few days though, he has come clean about a few things that he was previously lying about (I've been lied to A LOT), one big thing being a hefty credit card bill that I had no idea about. Well, he didn't exactly...
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ms621
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8
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713
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More of the same?
(Preview)
My brother is getting out of jail this coming Wednesday. Before he was sentenced, he was begging the judge, DA, and his lawyer to help him get the help he needed for depression and alcoholism that he just couldn't in jail. He could've gotten 5 years since this was his second parole violation. Instead...
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NCSUgeology
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5
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586
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Getting off of my "but"
(Preview)
Aloha Kakahiaka Ohana (good morning family...just exercising the language)!! I've done some reading here this morning and some of it keyed a lesson I got early in recovery part of which came from inside of the ODAAT daily reader which said something like "I say I would do anything to help my alc...
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Jerry F
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12
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412
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Enough!
(Preview)
I always knew my HP would help me understand when I had enough. This has been building for weeks and his drinking has got worse but this morning after receiving a load of verbal abuse I called the Police (its not the first time). I could have had him arrested and will do if he 'breaches the peace"agai...
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flinn66
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11
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905
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Nervous to attend first meeting...
(Preview)
There is a meeting tonight. I really want to go to it, but am so nervous... I'm typically OK with doing new things, but for some reason I'm nervous about attending my first meeting... I don't want to have to talk, or even identify myself. If I could attend while being invisible that would be perfect....
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ms621
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10
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1285
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My first phone call to come get him out of treatment- that was hard
(Preview)
I got a phone call tonight from my A. He wanted me to come pick him up from treatment on Saturday morning. (He went in Tues night voluntarily- his idea). I told him that I did not think that was a good idea and told him I thought he wasn't even supposed to be contacting me in the first 72 hours. I asked him why he...
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babygirl71
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10
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895
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Dr. Jekyal and Mr. Hyde
(Preview)
I am so frustrated with my ABF! First I would like to say that in the past couple of weeks since we started having issues I have started seeing my shrink again, gone to my first alanon meeting, and joined a gym. I am working on finding things to do besides thinking about and dealing with him. Rescently h...
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parfait624
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7
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867
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twisted relations with family, friends, that many of us have suffered the most
(Preview)
Hello everyone. I joined this board a few weeks ago, and I been kinda in the back ground reading and taking things in, trying to learn new ways to combat this disease I suffer from. Its alcoholism. I been comming to alanon for around a year, just using it as a place of refuge looking to be validated on how h...
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liam
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2
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1080
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I'm not who I was
(Preview)
Lord, I may not be the person you would like me to be I may not be the person I could be, but Lord thank you I;m not the person I used to be.
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liam
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1
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566
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sick of the lies
(Preview)
I heard someone say once at a meeting if an alcoholic is talking, he is probably telling a lie. Everyone chuckled. So I guess I forgot that a dry drunk often lies also. My husband took a job in the fall where he works all weekend long. I take care of our 2 very small children all by myself. When we were dis...
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supermom
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5
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948
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Gifts of practice
(Preview)
Tonight I learned that my biological Dad had another mini stroke and is in the hospital for treatment of a blood clot in the left ventricle of his heart. My Dad has lived many years on borrowed time due to heart disease. The blood clot is not in the best place, as it can break off, travel to the brain and ca...
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bud
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6
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365
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I have hit the wall
(Preview)
I'm sure that every single parent on this board can relate to this: I am constantly told "I don't know how you do it." Technically, I am not a single parent, because I am married. But my AH works 600 miles away right now, so in essence I am single parenting my three kids. My family does not li...
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stephaniej
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14
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748
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In need of ADVISE!!! please help...
(Preview)
hello, well my Brother Justin who is 20, is a recoving alcoholic, and a drug addict. He has been sober for almost two years. it will be two years in april. Me and justin are very close, but recentily (tuesday the 3rd) i was told by his very good friend who dose my hair that justin told her he had drank a beer on...
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posusta
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5
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1223
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*sigh*
(Preview)
Hello Everyone,
It's been a couple of weeks since I was last on here. Christmas and New Years went surprisingly well.
That quickly changed though. One night while talking, he said something about us not having relations (it's been a month and a half). I said I was sorry, that I have issues to deal wi...
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Evian
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11
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969
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Worried sick, frustrated, and unhappy . . .
(Preview)
My A (best friend) has been actively drinking for over a week. Yesterday morning I went to her place to check on her as she was not answering her phone. I found her in an unspeakable situation. It is very painful to be exposed to this and have no ability to change it. I couldn't leave her in a mess so did what I...
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BlazeB
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5
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1163
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New at this so bear with me
(Preview)
Hello everyone. This is a big step for me. I've lived with an alcoholic for 4 and a half years. He went into treatment a couple days ago and I have no idea how to deal with it. I'm happy, mad, scared, relieved, all of it. I have been enabling for years. In the beginning I would go to the liquor store and buy it fo...
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babygirl71
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10
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948
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is it right for me?
(Preview)
My son's father is a recovering addict of nearly 6 months. I had gone through hell with that man and I think I am still harboring a lot of resentment and anger towards him for the things we had gone through. He suggested I go to Al-Anon meetings to try and get help for my anger and hatred for him. But from what...
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JrsMommy215
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8
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875
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Nice words to hear
(Preview)
So in my once again talk session with the on again off again Abf, some nice words were actually said. Finally a calm discussion. He told me that one of the reason that he likes being around me is because I have turned my life around. He said that I have gone from a substance abuser to someone who has settl...
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member922
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3
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898
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Something powerful I just read in Courage to change....
(Preview)
Page 13 January 13th: at the very bottom: "In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer." -Albert Camus.... Wow. I am beginning to see this and realize that its so very true. any e s and h you can share on it? Thanks ;)
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sunflowergirl
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5
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756
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"When a man loves a woman"
(Preview)
Watched 'when a man loves a woman' today.I have seen it more than once over the years but I decided to watch it and see if I saw anything new or got any new insights.I did.I saw myself as my AH saw me.A person who projects that she is perfect,so good,so much better than you.If you would just listen to me your l...
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drucilla06
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8
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1465
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Boyfriend is coming home from treatment tomorrow
(Preview)
I don't know whether to be excited or scared. I'm a little bit of both, I think. My ABF has been in inpatient treatment since September. We've had family counseling, and got to go out on passes together on weekends after we'd had a few counseling sessions. I have seen him steadily become healthier and ha...
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Sangyaa
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9
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630
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Are fights/arguments ever productive?
(Preview)
My wife & I had a huge blow-out argument last night. I will admit to "starting" it, but I do feel I was justified in my criticism. Long story short, I had been home for 10 days because of the holidays and had found myself becoming more and more frustrated by my wife's complete lack of intera...
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usedtobeanyer
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18
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811
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Changing my attitude... one moment at a time
(Preview)
My story is not new. We have all been wrought with some of the same things through our childhoods and lives. Some worse, some not so bad, still causing us to grow a disease... Last night I had an attitude problem about something that I couldn't change. I was cranky, and I could feel my vibes affectin...
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sunflowergirl
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3
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959
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it has been a loooong time!
(Preview)
It has been a long time since I posted--I guess it was meant to be that I couldn't get on here for quite a while. I have been busy getting it back together & putting the focus back on me after spending the holidays trying to "run the show"! I did have a lot of people around me to bring in the new y...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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652
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Thank God for PAUSE.
(Preview)
... working the program in all my affairs. I just about nearly ripped into a supplier at my job because of an unhappy client. I was getting frustrated because everyone else in the office has been in reactionary-mode with the client because he's unhappy. I nearly joined in on the knee-jerk thing... typ...
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Aloha
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6
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1092
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What do you do or say when they beg and are still in denial?
(Preview)
He called asking to come home. He only gave detox 2 days. He left and has since drank again. I don't know if he used any other drugs. He said it will be 29 degrees tonight. I think he ran out of money. What should I do? Should I take him to a shelter. He can't come back to my home. I just don't feel safe or comfort...
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suave75
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5
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776
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requesting prayers be sent our way
(Preview)
Thanks to Al Anon I have been able to step back and really see what is best for my children and me. I left my AH a year ago to live with my dad who is an functioning alcoholic, nonetheless alcoholic. I have begun to take steps toward freeing myself from familiar uncomfortable known to unfamiliar free. It w...
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kath
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7
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727
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SOOO nervous!
(Preview)
I am going to my first meeting tonight and my anxiety level is HIGH. I am the daughter of an alcoholic (deceased) and daughter of a mother who is doesn't drink but has all the behaviors. I also have a brother who is an alcoholic. I have been seeing a therapist who has encouraged me to attend a meeting. Toni...
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hmeshow
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9
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726
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