Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't know where I am going but I sure know where I have been! I am letting go today of a counselor/friend. I am so saddened by this--he is not dying or anything but I am going to have to make it w/o him for three long mos. He is going on medical leave. I feel so selfish because I have really be thinking too muc...

member922 · member922

Just wanted to wish you all a happy, stress-free weekend. My kids (plus one) are outside playing in the snow already. Taking the rest as it comes. Enjoy!

ms621 · ms621

I posted this above also, but the last post before mine was in 2009, so I'm thinking it's not looked at too often? I've tried many times to enter the chat and take part in the meetings, but keep getting this message: Unable to connect : java.security.AccessControlException : access denied (java.net....

sdisnie · sdisnie

Ok, so this is kind of hard for me.....the alcoholic vs. the alcohol abuser. Here's the thing.....I know what I don't ever want to be around again...and that of course is what I lived with for 16 years....pure alcoholism hell.....binging, disappearing, complete craziness and chaos..... Now there...

ms621 · ms621

Just talked to my husband and he has had two beers. He's in the very beginning of realizing he is an alcohol abuser. We no longer have it in the house and he says he's never felt better. He lied and lied until I begged for the truth--but I knew, I heard it in his voice--just sort of a test, I guess, waiting t...

member922 · member922

My ABF is a smoker. Recently he attacked me for wanting to see my psychiatrist for a med adjustment (perhaps). He goes on a huge rampage about how the whole world is shutting off their feelings by taking meds and walking around all goofy etc. I am on a mood stabilizer, btw, and have fought with the idea o...

clep · clep

My new study was quite interesting. I have thought often that the extreme co dependence of my A is a program killer when we reconcile. It seems that no matter how strong his program is, once he is in an intimate relationship he loses it via gradually living for me. It is the one thing that really drives...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

From Jerry's post: "Nothing can be more demoralizing than a clinging and abject dependence upon another human being. This often amounts to the demand for a degree of protection and love that no one could possibly satisfy. So our hoped for protectors finally flee, and once more we are left al...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, I was dreaming about the things I'd really like to do to get back at my dh. I know, totally petty and ridiculous, but I thought it was funny to dream. 1. Make him keep track of every penny he spends and give me all his receipts. My goal here would be to make him nervous and force him to sneak a bit more. 2....

ythannah · ythannah

The current Group Representative in my home group has been trying to recruit a new volunteer to replace her, as her term is up. And I'm not clear on the exact situation, but I think she now has a service commitment that puts her in a position where she can't remain as GR. So we need a new GR. At last night'...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

AH often helps me get our children to and from their various activities. There is one activity where I really need him to drive our DS. How do I enforce a boundary that he may not drive with the children in the car if he has been drinking? I don't want to turn our children into police by telling them they c...

clep · clep

As some of you know my A is a dry drunk. I work my program very consistently and haven't felt frustrated for about a month. Today I feel very frustrated. I think because it just dawned on me that there seems to be no bottom with a dry drunk and I will have to live with this behavior as long as I am with him. We j...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Sorry for the short notice, but I will be unable to chair tomorrow's morning meeting. Hopefully someone can step in and chair for us. Thanks, bg

LOSTMOMMY · LOSTMOMMY

I just married my husband in october of 2010. I have been with him for seven years. We have a six year old. He just found out his leukemia came back in november 09 and since then had a stem cell transplant. He was sober for 4 years and has just recently started using heroin again. He is in a detox right no...

floridawife · floridawife

Hi everyone! I am new to the whole Al-Anon thing; I have read some things and want to go to a meeting but haven't had the time YET. I was hoping maybe someone would be able to give me some advise or share their experiences with me. Here is my story: I have been married 8 years (with my husband 13yrs total) I am...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, quick recap of my story: dh and I quit drinking 15 years ago of our own accord. No AA involved, we just quit because we didn't want alcohol in our lives and because dh had a history of being verbally abusive and flying into rages or depressions when he drank too much. We were in our early 20's back then...

Snowdrop · Snowdrop

Hello everyone, I will try and keep it brief. Been with my partner just over a year. He was having a tough time looking after his terminally ill Father when we met and I put his drinking down to that. Wrong! Long story short he went into rehab in the Summer and did really, really well. So proud of him an...

member922 · member922

So recently I have decided to really listen when ABF (or even others) is talking. I do not plan what I am going to say and decide that I do not have to defend anything I do. I am realizing that everyone has a right to their opinion and their right to express it. I feel like I am soaking in a lot and learning mor...

suave75 · suave75

I said he could come home after almost two weeks. He lived out on the street. He stayed at shelters. He is clean and Sober. He has to do 90 meeting in 90 days. I am praying for the best. My boundaries are in place. We decided to work on ourselves and our relationship. Every one thinks I am nuts. I don't have muc...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife & I correspond throughout the day via e-mail and text. When she was actively drinking, I usually could get a sense that something was wrong by her e-mails to me (or lack of e-mails). We had a bunch of snow last night and before I left for work I shoveled our driveway and shoveled out her car. I go...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...just some verifying information from the other program that I came across from inside my own library of literature (literature is very good!!). I use to wonder what the alcoholic knew and felt and thought. Did they (she) understand and I haunted that question if not her self wantin...

Angeliki · Angeliki

Hi! I finally took all of your advice and went to my first F2F meeting yesterday. I was incredibly nervous and was already in tears by the time I walked into the room. I felt like a complete basketcase... I expected to be nervous but I don't really know where the tears came from. It was really crazy. But wit...

Jozie · Jozie

Currently I am Having a Week from Hell... And I Can't seem to catch a Break... Went Out to Eat with some Al-Anon Friends Fri, and the Brakes went out on my truck so Its in the shop, Sat. My Sister Was Hit in a Car Acciedent, (Thank God OK) My Office & Home Computer have Both Crashed with in the last 5 days, a...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

For the last week and a half, AH has been on vacation. The first week, we were in Winter Park, CO on a ski trip. This week he spent Monday thru Wednesday at home, while I had to work. His first day back to work was yesterday, but this week is his week to work from home. Yesterday was his only work day this we...

Evian · Evian

I just went to go to our one family email, where I discovered 4 emails from the one questionable site linked from fb. One was confirming the new account, and 3 were notifications of new messages for HIM!! He doesn't know that I know, and at first I was really angry, and upset. I didn't tell him or lead on t...

craftygirl · craftygirl

In my life, the state of my mental well being is directly shown by how well my house is kept. My house is a wreck today. I am afraid of what the future holds for me. There's so much to know and figure out...sometimes I really just want to give up. So why don't I? I guess this is the time to really turn it over to G...

kath · kath

I was so angry at my AH that I said some very hurtul words to him. I wanted him to hurt as much as I was hurting. I made amends but the damage is done. He won't be able to forget the hurtful words I said, that is what he told me. I realize my expectations of this marriage are crazy and I must let go of them. Insanity...

Hayes · Hayes

He just get's NASTY. And then I get nasty back. The verbal abuse he flings at me triggers everything in me from my childhood and I show little self control - engaging in an argument and trying to defend and justify. So, so down on myself. Going to read on here and hopefully read about some detachment. Wish...

Jennifer · Jennifer

As usual when I least want to share and would rather curl up and hide here I am making myself type it out. Thanks for listening. For the last couple years I have been working hard to accept something about myself that I did not choose and is impossible to change. I manage it as best I can and it impacts other...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and so part of my "coming to understand" included college and the rooms of the Al-Anon Family Groups and the program as suggested. I learned about Denial and Diminishing the problem and Delusion. Aloha...my mind has been on former sponsors and wise oldtimers in the program who raised me....

Evian · Evian

My AH and I have issues pertaining to the bedroom.. I'm sure I don't have to explain what.. He wants it, I don't. The other day however I let him, and I tell you, it made me feel so dirty and gross, and I hated every second of it. That being said, I'm not sure why it then bothers me to find out that while on Face...

rahamimi · rahamimi

I see there are a number of people looking for help with family/friends with eating disorders. I went to an O-ANon meeting 20+ years ago in Cincinnati. I had contact with O-Anon several years ago, but it was petering out at the time. I notice that people are asking for information. The best informa...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Okay, I was hoping that maybe my son's time away would allow me to start again. And yes, i was hoping his heart may have been touched too... Problem is chaos started before I could even see him in the first 24hrs, and I find myself back where I left off. So, I grabbed my Courage to Change book and read all of...

agatha · agatha

Does anyone know of an online chat site for Overeaters and/or for their friends and family? I'm also looking for any meetings for friends and family of overeaters in the Niagara Region (Southren Ontario Canada). I'm having a hard time finding much online. Thanks

VickieB · VickieB

After reading Evians poem this came to me and maybe others have something of a poem in them. I lie in my bed at night and listen to the cry of distress. I wonder how did I get myself into this mess? I cannot feel his guilt or pain, not if I want to stay sane. Its late in the nighthe calls my name. I lie still with no...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

Hi! I'm new here. My first face-to-face Al-Anon meeting was a week ago. I've been lurking on this site for a couple of weeks. I've only recently admitted the extent of my AH's drinking. We have been married for 18 years. My AH has drank heavily our entire relationship. The last two years the drink...

alexmaui · alexmaui

It's been a rotten time. My AH is accelerating going from RX pills to drinking and back. I miss the man i love and I feel alone. He sleeps, stumbles around and goes back to sleep. I keep waiting for him to hit bottom...and the bottom never comes. I can't help thinking "If i leave THEN he'll change&quo...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

Last night was another blackout. My bf was drinking before noon yesterday, got enough buzz to go buy his other drug of choice (the heroin) and then drank some more. When I got home he was that ghost man again. With my kids there, I didn't go berserk or anything. I stayed to myself while he went to slee...

Hayes · Hayes

I don't know what I am doing or if I am doing the right thing. I found out I am pregnant yesterday to my alcoholic and I also have a four year old daughter. We have two houses. I couldn't sleep last night - out of absolute fear and guilt. Things are really not okay - this is not going to be okay to bring up my daugh...

pattyann1963 · pattyann1963

ok,i need to talk agin about my a,ive avoided him for weeks,not answering his calls and not calling him,but i broke down tonite and called himjust to check onhim,to c if he was doing ok,knowing that he would be drunk,everynite of the week if i just waited till in the mornin and called him i would have caug...

butterfliesnroses60 · butterfliesnroses60

WOW it finally came to me today during meditation....It hit me like a bolt of lightning...the tears I have been shedding are not grief,sorrow, fear, etc...they are because I am on my frist step......I admit I am powerless over my son's addiction and that MY life had become unmanagable......when...

allecto · allecto

Hi all! My name is Kristen and I was excited to find an al-anon support community online! A bit about me - I'm a recovering alcoholic (and active member of AA), been sober since June '08. My husband of one year is also an active member of AA with 2 yrs of sobriety. He is also diagnosed and being treated f...

member922 · member922

So I spent the weekend with the ABF. We had to spend a long time in the car and he actually brought up a quite interesting discussion about his past (and mine), his first time smoking and addiction and things. It was nice to have the conversation as we really don't have "real" conversations...

helpme08 · helpme08

On Dec. 21, my diabetic AH was drinking all day, so that evening he got really weird with me at about 8:30 p.m. I told our 8 year son that it was time for us to go to bed & my AH would not let us down the hallway to our bedrooms. Long story short, I called a neighbor to come over because I didn't want to be alo...

Phoe · Phoe

I started going to meetings a little over a year ago and stopped going about 6 months ago (got married and moved). Life's been great, but I really missed going to meetings so I'm back at my old group (we only moved to the next town). Anyway, I never got a sponsor back when I started going to meetings but I thi...

Aloha · Aloha

I celebrated my third Al-Anon birthday with some of my Al-Anon friends yesterday, along with three other January birthdays. It's so wonderful to take a look back at our accomplishments as time moves forward. Al-Anon has gifted me so many wonderful things... It's brought me closer to my HP than any ot...

Evian · Evian

He leaves scars which you can't see Why is he doing this to me? Loves me Hates me Tears me down Yet no one sees the way I frown He loves his beer He loves his smoke Ain't our life a bleeping joke I try and keep the pain inside But all I wanna do is cry For 20 years I've loved this man But had no idea That...

anewyear · anewyear

Has anyone left their A, had him go into recovery and gone back successfully? If so, what were the parameters for your return? timing etc?

stephaniej · stephaniej

As I think I've mentioned in the past, my AH has multiple DUIs in his past. He also has MANY friends with numerous DUIs, and it seems like another guy gets a DUI every few months or so. One of his buddies/co-workers was picked up for his second DUI over the holidays. Apparently his blood alcohol content...

butterfliesnroses60 · butterfliesnroses60

hello again Everyone well I drove my son to rehab tonight....a very wonderful friend came with me....I am so happy that he is there and of course I am pray that he gets well......Now my question....I know he was ready and is in the right place but I can't stop crying and I am so upset that I am actually vomit...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone, I haven't been posting and reading on here and going to meetings as much lately (last few weeks)... been busy (just me making excuses to justify what I know leeds to no good!)... and so, low and behold, I fall right back into my old patterns! Guess I needed to prove to myself, yet again, that n...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello Everyone! I have to give my A Hubby a thumbs up! Yesterday he joined me and about 100 family members at my Grandma's 94th birthday party. We had to arrive 1 hour early because I was co hosting the party and bringing food and chips, the weather was terrible and he had got called earlier to work and ha...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

Ok. I lost it Friday. I lost my serenity. I got it back too. All on my own, got it back. I would like to go on and on about what happened, here is the long and short of it: Friday night after work it began to snow very hard. I had an hour long drive ahead of me, with my son in the car. The drive is my normal com...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I didn't want to hijack Lou's post, but she was talking about having a friend dating in a dysfunctional situation and I realized that this situation has been heavily on my mind for a few weeks. My best friend is getting married next month, and I see all the signs of an alcoholic family she is marrying in...

parfait624 · parfait624

I have a frustrating situation with my Abf and I am not sure how to approach. I am open to ideas. First I should give some background. Four years I ago I found out I was pregnet by my ABF we weren't serious when it happened and when I told him he went back and fourth with what he wanted to do. I was going thro...

VickieB · VickieB

I haven't posted or been active here for years, but come by often to read, and thought I'd thank so many of you that have helped me greatly. I've learned a lot here, and so much from, John, in the past years. I'm a little shy about entering this domain but here I am. I am married to an active AH and have...

butterfliesnroses60 · butterfliesnroses60

Hello All It has been a long time since I have been here...I just wanted to let everyone know that I have not forgotten...My life was crazy busy for a bit.....I appreciate everyone.....A short update...I continue to attend meetings every week and have learned a lot...and still learning.......my da...

John · John

I just drove over 800 miles to meet up with my wife in another state. She said she had to get away and think. She told me she was on her way to Indianapolis, IN to visit with her deceased ex husbands mother who she could talk to about anything. It went exactly as bad as I thought it might as I left North Car...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It has been so hard to keep track of time lately! maybe because it is going so fast! I am on here on Saturday & now it is Monday! I am still sleeping well, am still holding on to my serenity. I am still trying to not control everyone & everything in my life! If it doesn't go my way, will I shrivel up &...

marcia · marcia

I work my program, attend meetings and my alcoholic boyfriend, (we lived together for many years and have had some wonderful times together) is recovering. My therapist, many years ago, told me that alcoholics will "sneak" alcohol even while recovering. They are not drunk but through...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I don't know where I am going... (Preview) I don't know where I am going but I sure know where I have been! I am letting go today of a counselor/friend. I am so saddened by this--he is not dying or anything but I am going to have to make it w/o him for three long mos. He is going on medical leave. I feel so selfish because I have really be thinking too muc...	Hoot Nanny	1	453	Jan 15, 2011 by Phoe
	Good Morning All! (Preview) Just wanted to wish you all a happy, stress-free weekend. My kids (plus one) are outside playing in the snow already. Taking the rest as it comes. Enjoy!	member922	5	752	Jan 15, 2011 by xeno59
	Trouble with chat room (Preview) I posted this above also, but the last post before mine was in 2009, so I'm thinking it's not looked at too often? I've tried many times to enter the chat and take part in the meetings, but keep getting this message: Unable to connect : java.security.AccessControlException : access denied (java.net....	ms621	3	649	Jan 15, 2011 by abbyal
	Alcoholic vs. Alcohol abuser (Preview) Ok, so this is kind of hard for me.....the alcoholic vs. the alcohol abuser. Here's the thing.....I know what I don't ever want to be around again...and that of course is what I lived with for 16 years....pure alcoholism hell.....binging, disappearing, complete craziness and chaos..... Now there...	sdisnie	10	1215	Jan 14, 2011 by xeno59
	Just two drinks, but still... (Preview) Just talked to my husband and he has had two beers. He's in the very beginning of realizing he is an alcohol abuser. We no longer have it in the house and he says he's never felt better. He lied and lied until I begged for the truth--but I knew, I heard it in his voice--just sort of a test, I guess, waiting t...	ms621	8	804	Jan 14, 2011 by xeno59
	Meds vs illegal drugs? (Preview) My ABF is a smoker. Recently he attacked me for wanting to see my psychiatrist for a med adjustment (perhaps). He goes on a huge rampage about how the whole world is shutting off their feelings by taking meds and walking around all goofy etc. I am on a mood stabilizer, btw, and have fought with the idea o...	member922	6	762	Jan 14, 2011 by member922
	Started Al-anon study last night (Preview) My new study was quite interesting. I have thought often that the extreme co dependence of my A is a program killer when we reconcile. It seems that no matter how strong his program is, once he is in an intimate relationship he loses it via gradually living for me. It is the one thing that really drives...	clep	2	762	Jan 14, 2011 by member922
	RE: Feeling the daunting issue of focusing on me (Preview) From Jerry's post: "Nothing can be more demoralizing than a clinging and abject dependence upon another human being. This often amounts to the demand for a degree of protection and love that no one could possibly satisfy. So our hoped for protectors finally flee, and once more we are left al...	sunflowergirl	6	1097	Jan 14, 2011 by maresie
	Funny things I'd like to actually do! (Preview) So, I was dreaming about the things I'd really like to do to get back at my dh. I know, totally petty and ridiculous, but I thought it was funny to dream. 1. Make him keep track of every penny he spends and give me all his receipts. My goal here would be to make him nervous and force him to sneak a bit more. 2....	ilovedogs	5	837	Jan 14, 2011 by ilovedogs
	Service Work (Preview) The current Group Representative in my home group has been trying to recruit a new volunteer to replace her, as her term is up. And I'm not clear on the exact situation, but I think she now has a service commitment that puts her in a position where she can't remain as GR. So we need a new GR. At last night'...	ythannah	4	2041	Jan 14, 2011 by ythannah
	Practical question about kids and AH driving (Preview) AH often helps me get our children to and from their various activities. There is one activity where I really need him to drive our DS. How do I enforce a boundary that he may not drive with the children in the car if he has been drinking? I don't want to turn our children into police by telling them they c...	Very Very Tired	11	1011	Jan 14, 2011 by Very Very Tired
	Dry drunk (Preview) As some of you know my A is a dry drunk. I work my program very consistently and haven't felt frustrated for about a month. Today I feel very frustrated. I think because it just dawned on me that there seems to be no bottom with a dry drunk and I will have to live with this behavior as long as I am with him. We j...	clep	3	1564	Jan 14, 2011 by Karilynn
	Friday Morning meeting - need a chair (Preview) Sorry for the short notice, but I will be unable to chair tomorrow's morning meeting. Hopefully someone can step in and chair for us. Thanks, bg	blender_girl	0	406	Jan 13, 2011 by blender_girl
	I NEED HELP (Preview) I just married my husband in october of 2010. I have been with him for seven years. We have a six year old. He just found out his leukemia came back in november 09 and since then had a stem cell transplant. He was sober for 4 years and has just recently started using heroin again. He is in a detox right no...	LOSTMOMMY	5	818	Jan 13, 2011 by hotrod
	I'm new to the board and new to Al-Anon-need advise (Preview) Hi everyone! I am new to the whole Al-Anon thing; I have read some things and want to go to a meeting but haven't had the time YET. I was hoping maybe someone would be able to give me some advise or share their experiences with me. Here is my story: I have been married 8 years (with my husband 13yrs total) I am...	floridawife	6	734	Jan 13, 2011 by Bettina
	I'm back. Question about confronting (Preview) So, quick recap of my story: dh and I quit drinking 15 years ago of our own accord. No AA involved, we just quit because we didn't want alcohol in our lives and because dh had a history of being verbally abusive and flying into rages or depressions when he drank too much. We were in our early 20's back then...	ilovedogs	8	844	Jan 13, 2011 by ilovedogs
	New to Al-anon. My "recovering alcholic" is starting to drink again. How do I deal with it? (Preview) Hello everyone, I will try and keep it brief. Been with my partner just over a year. He was having a tough time looking after his terminally ill Father when we met and I put his drinking down to that. Wrong! Long story short he went into rehab in the Summer and did really, really well. So proud of him an...	Snowdrop	6	1087	Jan 13, 2011 by KimmyJo
	Working on an open mind (Preview) So recently I have decided to really listen when ABF (or even others) is talking. I do not plan what I am going to say and decide that I do not have to defend anything I do. I am realizing that everyone has a right to their opinion and their right to express it. I feel like I am soaking in a lot and learning mor...	member922	3	727	Jan 13, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	He said he hit bottom... (Preview) I said he could come home after almost two weeks. He lived out on the street. He stayed at shelters. He is clean and Sober. He has to do 90 meeting in 90 days. I am praying for the best. My boundaries are in place. We decided to work on ourselves and our relationship. Every one thinks I am nuts. I don't have muc...	suave75	6	744	Jan 13, 2011 by suave75
	Little, teeny, tiny, babysteps (Preview) My wife & I correspond throughout the day via e-mail and text. When she was actively drinking, I usually could get a sense that something was wrong by her e-mails to me (or lack of e-mails). We had a bunch of snow last night and before I left for work I shoveled our driveway and shoveled out her car. I go...	usedtobeanyer	5	517	Jan 13, 2011 by stephaniej
	From the Co-founder of AA (Preview) Aloha Family...just some verifying information from the other program that I came across from inside my own library of literature (literature is very good!!). I use to wonder what the alcoholic knew and felt and thought. Did they (she) understand and I haunted that question if not her self wantin...	Jerry F	4	915	Jan 13, 2011 by kristiekansas
	Went to my first meeting, have some questions (Preview) Hi! I finally took all of your advice and went to my first F2F meeting yesterday. I was incredibly nervous and was already in tears by the time I walked into the room. I felt like a complete basketcase... I expected to be nervous but I don't really know where the tears came from. It was really crazy. But wit...	Angeliki	10	837	Jan 13, 2011 by 1911A1
	Struggling... (Preview) Currently I am Having a Week from Hell... And I Can't seem to catch a Break... Went Out to Eat with some Al-Anon Friends Fri, and the Brakes went out on my truck so Its in the shop, Sat. My Sister Was Hit in a Car Acciedent, (Thank God OK) My Office & Home Computer have Both Crashed with in the last 5 days, a...	Jozie	2	687	Jan 13, 2011 by Debilyn
	Here we go again! (Preview) For the last week and a half, AH has been on vacation. The first week, we were in Winter Park, CO on a ski trip. This week he spent Monday thru Wednesday at home, while I had to work. His first day back to work was yesterday, but this week is his week to work from home. Yesterday was his only work day this we...	kimmy1975	10	1048	Jan 13, 2011 by ilovedogs
	Update on Mixed emotions (Preview) I just went to go to our one family email, where I discovered 4 emails from the one questionable site linked from fb. One was confirming the new account, and 3 were notifications of new messages for HIM!! He doesn't know that I know, and at first I was really angry, and upset. I didn't tell him or lead on t...	Evian	2	761	Jan 13, 2011 by danielle0516
	struggling (Preview) In my life, the state of my mental well being is directly shown by how well my house is kept. My house is a wreck today. I am afraid of what the future holds for me. There's so much to know and figure out...sometimes I really just want to give up. So why don't I? I guess this is the time to really turn it over to G...	craftygirl	6	668	Jan 12, 2011 by wp
	slip (Preview) I was so angry at my AH that I said some very hurtul words to him. I wanted him to hurt as much as I was hurting. I made amends but the damage is done. He won't be able to forget the hurtful words I said, that is what he told me. I realize my expectations of this marriage are crazy and I must let go of them. Insanity...	kath	4	820	Jan 12, 2011 by Hayes
	Nasty (Preview) He just get's NASTY. And then I get nasty back. The verbal abuse he flings at me triggers everything in me from my childhood and I show little self control - engaging in an argument and trying to defend and justify. So, so down on myself. Going to read on here and hopefully read about some detachment. Wish...	Hayes	15	823	Jan 12, 2011 by liam
	Having a hard time (Preview) As usual when I least want to share and would rather curl up and hide here I am making myself type it out. Thanks for listening. For the last couple years I have been working hard to accept something about myself that I did not choose and is impossible to change. I manage it as best I can and it impacts other...	Jennifer	4	779	Jan 12, 2011 by Jennifer
	I didn't know and didn't know that I didn't know (Preview) and so part of my "coming to understand" included college and the rooms of the Al-Anon Family Groups and the program as suggested. I learned about Denial and Diminishing the problem and Delusion. Aloha...my mind has been on former sponsors and wise oldtimers in the program who raised me....	Jerry F	9	699	Jan 12, 2011 by david62
	Mixed emotions/confused?? (Preview) My AH and I have issues pertaining to the bedroom.. I'm sure I don't have to explain what.. He wants it, I don't. The other day however I let him, and I tell you, it made me feel so dirty and gross, and I hated every second of it. That being said, I'm not sure why it then bothers me to find out that while on Face...	Evian	1	513	Jan 12, 2011 by Bettina
	O-ANon (closed) O-Anon Overeaters Anonymous eating disorders (Preview) I see there are a number of people looking for help with family/friends with eating disorders. I went to an O-ANon meeting 20+ years ago in Cincinnati. I had contact with O-Anon several years ago, but it was petering out at the time. I notice that people are asking for information. The best informa...	rahamimi	2	4121	Jan 12, 2011 by canadianguy
	I didn't get a do-over... (Preview) Okay, I was hoping that maybe my son's time away would allow me to start again. And yes, i was hoping his heart may have been touched too... Problem is chaos started before I could even see him in the first 24hrs, and I find myself back where I left off. So, I grabbed my Courage to Change book and read all of...	Loupiness	4	852	Jan 12, 2011 by Karilynn
	O-Anon (Preview) Does anyone know of an online chat site for Overeaters and/or for their friends and family? I'm also looking for any meetings for friends and family of overeaters in the Niagara Region (Southren Ontario Canada). I'm having a hard time finding much online. Thanks	agatha	6	5204	Jan 12, 2011 by rahamimi
	Poems (Preview) After reading Evians poem this came to me and maybe others have something of a poem in them. I lie in my bed at night and listen to the cry of distress. I wonder how did I get myself into this mess? I cannot feel his guilt or pain, not if I want to stay sane. Its late in the nighthe calls my name. I lie still with no...	VickieB	3	3823	Jan 12, 2011 by stomoxys
	A newbie looking for guidance (Preview) Hi! I'm new here. My first face-to-face Al-Anon meeting was a week ago. I've been lurking on this site for a couple of weeks. I've only recently admitted the extent of my AH's drinking. We have been married for 18 years. My AH has drank heavily our entire relationship. The last two years the drink...	Very Very Tired	8	773	Jan 12, 2011 by Very Very Tired
	How will I know when to leave? (Preview) It's been a rotten time. My AH is accelerating going from RX pills to drinking and back. I miss the man i love and I feel alone. He sleeps, stumbles around and goes back to sleep. I keep waiting for him to hit bottom...and the bottom never comes. I can't help thinking "If i leave THEN he'll change&quo...	alexmaui	14	1890	Jan 12, 2011 by alexmaui
	Yet another blackout.... (Preview) Last night was another blackout. My bf was drinking before noon yesterday, got enough buzz to go buy his other drug of choice (the heroin) and then drank some more. When I got home he was that ghost man again. With my kids there, I didn't go berserk or anything. I stayed to myself while he went to slee...	sunflowergirl	8	1049	Jan 12, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	Newly pregnant and four year old daughter - asked alcoholic to leave (Preview) I don't know what I am doing or if I am doing the right thing. I found out I am pregnant yesterday to my alcoholic and I also have a four year old daughter. We have two houses. I couldn't sleep last night - out of absolute fear and guilt. Things are really not okay - this is not going to be okay to bring up my daugh...	Hayes	13	734	Jan 12, 2011 by Hayes
	hurting so bad it makes me cry (Preview) ok,i need to talk agin about my a,ive avoided him for weeks,not answering his calls and not calling him,but i broke down tonite and called himjust to check onhim,to c if he was doing ok,knowing that he would be drunk,everynite of the week if i just waited till in the mornin and called him i would have caug...	pattyann1963	2	818	Jan 12, 2011 by Jerry F
	I FIGURED OUT WHAT IS WRONG (Preview) WOW it finally came to me today during meditation....It hit me like a bolt of lightning...the tears I have been shedding are not grief,sorrow, fear, etc...they are because I am on my frist step......I admit I am powerless over my son's addiction and that MY life had become unmanagable......when...	butterfliesnroses60	4	824	Jan 12, 2011 by Loupiness
	Newbie - just saying hello :) (Preview) Hi all! My name is Kristen and I was excited to find an al-anon support community online! A bit about me - I'm a recovering alcoholic (and active member of AA), been sober since June '08. My husband of one year is also an active member of AA with 2 yrs of sobriety. He is also diagnosed and being treated f...	allecto	3	699	Jan 11, 2011 by Jennifer
	More learning... (Preview) So I spent the weekend with the ABF. We had to spend a long time in the car and he actually brought up a quite interesting discussion about his past (and mine), his first time smoking and addiction and things. It was nice to have the conversation as we really don't have "real" conversations...	member922	6	815	Jan 11, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Scared & Frustrated (Preview) On Dec. 21, my diabetic AH was drinking all day, so that evening he got really weird with me at about 8:30 p.m. I told our 8 year son that it was time for us to go to bed & my AH would not let us down the hallway to our bedrooms. Long story short, I called a neighbor to come over because I didn't want to be alo...	helpme08	5	707	Jan 11, 2011 by VickieB
	How to go about asking someone to be my sponsor (Preview) I started going to meetings a little over a year ago and stopped going about 6 months ago (got married and moved). Life's been great, but I really missed going to meetings so I'm back at my old group (we only moved to the next town). Anyway, I never got a sponsor back when I started going to meetings but I thi...	Phoe	3	905	Jan 11, 2011 by Jerry F
	3rd year's the charm (Preview) I celebrated my third Al-Anon birthday with some of my Al-Anon friends yesterday, along with three other January birthdays. It's so wonderful to take a look back at our accomplishments as time moves forward. Al-Anon has gifted me so many wonderful things... It's brought me closer to my HP than any ot...	Aloha	3	754	Jan 11, 2011 by Bettina
	Just a little something that came to me one day (Preview) He leaves scars which you can't see Why is he doing this to me? Loves me Hates me Tears me down Yet no one sees the way I frown He loves his beer He loves his smoke Ain't our life a bleeping joke I try and keep the pain inside But all I wanna do is cry For 20 years I've loved this man But had no idea That...	Evian	8	796	Jan 11, 2011 by Evian
	Question about going back (Preview) Has anyone left their A, had him go into recovery and gone back successfully? If so, what were the parameters for your return? timing etc?	anewyear	10	876	Jan 11, 2011 by anewyear
	A Testament to Denial...and Progress (Preview) As I think I've mentioned in the past, my AH has multiple DUIs in his past. He also has MANY friends with numerous DUIs, and it seems like another guy gets a DUI every few months or so. One of his buddies/co-workers was picked up for his second DUI over the holidays. Apparently his blood alcohol content...	stephaniej	5	772	Jan 11, 2011 by danielle0516
	What is wrong ??? (Preview) hello again Everyone well I drove my son to rehab tonight....a very wonderful friend came with me....I am so happy that he is there and of course I am pray that he gets well......Now my question....I know he was ready and is in the right place but I can't stop crying and I am so upset that I am actually vomit...	butterfliesnroses60	5	732	Jan 11, 2011 by butterfliesnroses60
	I 'relapsed'.. as I like to call it. (Preview) Hi everyone, I haven't been posting and reading on here and going to meetings as much lately (last few weeks)... been busy (just me making excuses to justify what I know leeds to no good!)... and so, low and behold, I fall right back into my old patterns! Guess I needed to prove to myself, yet again, that n...	danielle0516	7	764	Jan 11, 2011 by danielle0516
	Thumbs Up A-Hubby (Preview) Hello Everyone! I have to give my A Hubby a thumbs up! Yesterday he joined me and about 100 family members at my Grandma's 94th birthday party. We had to arrive 1 hour early because I was co hosting the party and bringing food and chips, the weather was terrible and he had got called earlier to work and ha...	Sincerely	3	565	Jan 11, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	I need some E S & H.... (Preview) Ok. I lost it Friday. I lost my serenity. I got it back too. All on my own, got it back. I would like to go on and on about what happened, here is the long and short of it: Friday night after work it began to snow very hard. I had an hour long drive ahead of me, with my son in the car. The drive is my normal com...	sunflowergirl	4	728	Jan 11, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	Friend marrying into dysfunction (Preview) I didn't want to hijack Lou's post, but she was talking about having a friend dating in a dysfunctional situation and I realized that this situation has been heavily on my mind for a few weeks. My best friend is getting married next month, and I see all the signs of an alcoholic family she is marrying in...	White Rabbit	7	866	Jan 11, 2011 by Phoe
	Not sure how to approach this? (Preview) I have a frustrating situation with my Abf and I am not sure how to approach. I am open to ideas. First I should give some background. Four years I ago I found out I was pregnet by my ABF we weren't serious when it happened and when I told him he went back and fourth with what he wanted to do. I was going thro...	parfait624	13	680	Jan 11, 2011 by Phoe
	Stopping In to say, Hi! (Preview) I haven't posted or been active here for years, but come by often to read, and thought I'd thank so many of you that have helped me greatly. I've learned a lot here, and so much from, John, in the past years. I'm a little shy about entering this domain but here I am. I am married to an active AH and have...	VickieB	3	820	Jan 10, 2011 by xeno59
	I am Back (Preview) Hello All It has been a long time since I have been here...I just wanted to let everyone know that I have not forgotten...My life was crazy busy for a bit.....I appreciate everyone.....A short update...I continue to attend meetings every week and have learned a lot...and still learning.......my da...	butterfliesnroses60	3	895	Jan 10, 2011 by xeno59
	What sparked the previous post... (Preview) I just drove over 800 miles to meet up with my wife in another state. She said she had to get away and think. She told me she was on her way to Indianapolis, IN to visit with her deceased ex husbands mother who she could talk to about anything. It went exactly as bad as I thought it might as I left North Car...	John	7	834	Jan 10, 2011 by xeno59
	hard to keep track of time... (Preview) It has been so hard to keep track of time lately! maybe because it is going so fast! I am on here on Saturday & now it is Monday! I am still sleeping well, am still holding on to my serenity. I am still trying to not control everyone & everything in my life! If it doesn't go my way, will I shrivel up &...	Hoot Nanny	2	739	Jan 10, 2011 by member922
	How I feel (Preview) I work my program, attend meetings and my alcoholic boyfriend, (we lived together for many years and have had some wonderful times together) is recovering. My therapist, many years ago, told me that alcoholics will "sneak" alcohol even while recovering. They are not drunk but through...	marcia	10	1080	Jan 10, 2011 by Bettina
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.