Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Thank God for PAUSE.


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1652
Date:
Thank God for PAUSE.


... working the program in all my affairs.

I just about nearly ripped into a supplier at my job because of an unhappy client. I was getting frustrated because everyone else in the office has been in reactionary-mode with the client because he's unhappy. I nearly joined in on the knee-jerk thing... typed out a frustrated email to the supplier everyone was thinking may have been involved, and then realized I was really getting wound up over things and that I needed to pause.

This was right before my lunch break, so instead of sending off the email, I saved it as a draft and went and took my lunch. During my lunch, I was able to mildly reflect on things and thought of some possible other reasons for the problem at hand... sure enough, I checked the files that had to do with the client's unhappiness and found something had been put together wrong. On further investigation, we've been doing these files wrong for quite a LONG time because no one ever made updates to the reference materials when things changed.

Unfortunately, one of my employees was still very much in reactionary-mode. When I got back from my lunch break, I overheard her on the phone in a pretty condescending tone leaving a message with the client. I then found the true cause was on our end and calmly pointed it out to her... she ended up needing to make amends and called the client back to apologize.

I'm glad I didn't go so far as to have to call and apologize myself to the supplier.

All because I remembered what I've learned in Al-Anon today before I decided to go off the deep end.


__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:



Wow...so that's how it's done!!  Worked yourself, worked the system, worked the client
and supplier and the employee and all in the program.  Wonderful and brought it all
back to family...High fives and (((((hugs))))) smile

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 831
Date:

Good reminder, Aloha. For me, it goes along with the "When in doubt, don't" slogan. Sometimes just taking the time to not react, can bring a lot of clarity to the situation.

Thanks for sharing,

Lou

__________________

Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace.
~ Ronald Reagan~

Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't
~Marguerite Bro~


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:

Aloha

Thank You for the remionder.  DO NOT REACT is a powerful slogan.  It works each and every time. 
In the beginning I had to force myself to take deep breaths, count to 100, say Let Go and Let God in my head in order  to stop the automatic response that was my disease.

Today after all this time , reacting is not an option.  Keeping an open mind, praying . looking for alternate solutions are automatic.  It sounds as if you are on the way.

It works if you work it. 


__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 523
Date:

I love these posts everyone, thank you so much! I am a big reacter... its in my genes I think. I am working so hard on not reacting, and work is a big place for that. I am working on not allowing the people who call into the front desk that I handle, to bother me. They call in SO MAD because they didn't get their newspaper. Sometimes I get dragged into their crap, other times I am becoming more able to tune out, tell them I have to transfer their call and let it go. I am starting to laugh after I transfer them at how mad they are and how much they have allowed things in their lives to make them so mad about a newspaper not arriving.... anyway, thanks guys for this great post today!

__________________
You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.  -Buddha

The past has flown away.  The coming month and year do not exsist.  Ours only is the present's tiny point.  -Mahmud Shabistanri


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3223
Date:

My daughter and I were recently discussing not reacting and when in doubt, don't. 

She said, It's amazing that almost everytime she reacts..opening her mouth morphs her in to an a**. 

I can so relate.  Numerous times I've been very grateful I didn't comment or react.  Of course I had to learn the hard way..lol

__________________

If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them.  And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1235
Date:

I love that story, ALoha!!! That is awesome.

I recently got very angry with my employer... and I was sooo ready to speak my mind when he came back. In my anger, I was totally convinced that it was the "next right thing!!" So often in my step 4 inventory, over and over, I say nothing... I do nothing... to advocate for myself. So, I truly believed the day had come when I was supposed to let him know how I expect to be treated. (hahahahaha)

Thankfully, I phoned my sponsor first, who told me she wanted me to finish my "emote" with her, then sit down, get calm, and write out an inventory and get clear on what really needed to be done.

When I think of what I was planning to say.... LOL!!! I was definitely off the deep end. Saying those things would have made me...

 an ass-oholic.

In my case, my sponsor saved the day (and my job) by getting me to pause.

-- Edited by glad lee on Tuesday 4th of January 2011 03:01:16 PM

-- Edited by glad lee on Tuesday 4th of January 2011 03:16:29 PM

__________________

The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.