Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Debilyn · Debilyn

UPdate part! I just got an email I can have this place if I want it! You guys its late, I tend to be pretty weak when I am tired. I have to tell you I am scared. Very scared. I know moving is always hard right? I have to go no matter what. I will go put the deposit down Tuesday to hold to Feb. The internet and tv are be...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I have been working hard here since July 28th... And last night I decided I need some face to face time too. And I didn't have my kids or anything going on. So I went. My bf actually went to a meeting in the next room for him as well. I had already decided I was going no matter what, if he went to one or not. I...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

AH is coming home within a week from a 28 day intensive rehab. Honestly, Im nervous, and dont know if all of my mixed up emotions can handle his arrival..The mental issues or so called A behaviors are the ones that will throw me under the bus faster than anything... I have already heard them on the phone wh...

wintergirl · wintergirl

I hear often "don't be an enabler"...I need help understanding how to practice that.

Jennifer · Jennifer

Yes I am a glutton ... I got through my classes, moved the business, worked enough to pay for my life and hopefully this semester and finished it all up in time to have one weekend off and here I go again. I'll be checking in and reading as much as possible and thinking of you all constantly but probably not...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

My wife came home from rehab on Wednesday. We are separated, but we went out for dinner as a family Wednesday and we made dinner together last night, and she hung out for a couple of hours both nights. The difference in her has been amazing so far. It is like these last two nights she has been present in t...

Hayes · Hayes

I feel so disappointed. MY AH organised to have my daughter's friend from childcare of this evening and her parents for dinner. I thought it was a big ask as the house is really messy and I've had really bad morning sickness. I said three days ago that I wasn't feeling comfortable with this. But he assure...

billr · billr

I am a recovering alcoholic (almost two years sober, absolutely zero slips not even a sip) and am married to an alcoholic. I am sure for those never having been an alcoholic personally, that living with one can be extremely difficult/impossible. Trust me, its alot worse (?) when you are a recoverin...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

One day at a time right? Today was a good day. Something happened yesterday while reading responses here and hearing from my wonderful sponsor.... I became aware of what you have all been telling me all along. To set boundaries they have to be for me and there cannot ever be an expectation that those...

jocelgp · jocelgp

how do I start participating in this forum?

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I'm new to Al-Anon and am working hard to change my ways of thinking (I'm also going to F2F meetings). As a newbie, I'm experiencing a lot of confusion with trying to understand my behaviors and attitudes. I find myself struggling with having boundaries versus trying to control someone's behavior...

Lizabelle123 · Lizabelle123

I think my husband is an alcoholic but he does not. He knows he has a problem drinking but believes he can control it. I believe he needs help and to abstain from alcohol. But, I also want to believe in him and feel like if I don't give him a chance to prove himself to me then I'm somehow letting him down and...

Rose · Rose

Why does my AH think its ok that he buys the bottles of wine and drinks them at night while we are sleeping? He says, he's not out, he's home and he provides for the family..... Should I bend down and kiss his feet? A little angry right now and need to vent. Last week I turned the computer on and all porn sites...

Debilyn · Debilyn

http://corvallis.craigslist.org/apa/2139275436.html

kitty · kitty

I want to say to everyone out there that find themelves here and also in therapy - that it takes one to know one. Going to therapy wont give you peace of mind or forgiveness and sharing wont "do" the work for you. Forgiveness as a form of reconciling and releasing the past and pain is the most e...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

My A brother got out of jail last Wednesday. The judge said if he came back for any alchohol related offense he was facing 5 yrs in the big-boy jail. I drove him around so he could find a place to live. Every place that he liked, did a background check, but he got approval from his number one choice, and we mov...

Cleo76 · Cleo76

Hello all, I'm not sure if this is the right forum, but I figured since this is alcohol related, I'd post here. I need advice in dealing with a friend's alcohol abuse and the promiscouity that is a result of it. She has had a hard life. She was molested by both her father and step-father and she was take...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My A has always had a temper, even when he was sober (I think he was a dry drunk, quite frankly). He loses his temper very easily but 99% of the time it's not anger AT ME, it's anger about a situation and he wants to vent about it. Usually, he curses while raising his voice, stomps around, slams doors, etc....

floridawife · floridawife

So my AH admitted he had a drinking problem (about 2 weeks ago) after one of his episodes. Then Tuesday night I came home and asked if he had been drinking, he admitted it, I left it at that and said nothing more about it and tried not to show that I was upset or disappointed. So lastnight I tried to calmly tal...

Lila Frost · Lila Frost

I am currently struggling with the detachment process. I am trying to distance myself from my AM but how do you do this without feeling like you have turned your back on them? The problem is I have had enough. I can't sleep and I'm constantly distracted so my kids and my work suffer. I have four siblings...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I have to let my home go. Cannot fight this anymore, its honestly too much for one person. I almost fainted when I got the letter. I called the advocate who gave me more options. I told him I am done. Its too much on my income. I cannot upkeep a 5 acre place with as big a payment as it is on my income. If the paymen...

stomoxys · stomoxys

At the f2f meeting I attended this week the topic was willingness and there was lots of great sharing and I was glad I went. I didn't have an opportunity to share but wanted to here. My AH has been hospitalized recently for complications from the disease, then he tried to get sober on his own and now it is j...

free angel · free angel

My husband has a problem with drink for along time now. But as years gone by its getting harder for me to deal with.He blames everybody else especially myself and my 11yr old mainly when he has to much and says horrible things to us.But he goes more mad when we fight back at him and he doesnt like it. My 1...

knowmadic · knowmadic

anyone see television as being a form of addiction? I saw my mom turn to television after my father was arrested. she would watch all day long until she went to sleep. I think my soon-to-be-ex-husband, who also drinks and smokes pot, uses television as a form of escapism as well. it's crazy that i use...

Jozie · Jozie

Martyr--- 1) A Person who Dies rather then renounce his religion; 2) One who Makes a Great Sacrifice for the Sake of Principle... 3) A GREAT or CONSTANT Sufferer.... Ok, Well I must confess that When I 1st Entered the Room of Al-Anon and someone would say, "My Mom is a Martyr" I would Dismiss i...

Sincerely · Sincerely

UGH, our joint account is NEGATIVE again. My personal account is just fine. Yesterday I put $200 from my personal account into our joint account to avoid NSF charges, however it didn't work. All those pending charges from the weekend and MLK day jumped up to bite me in the butt. Anyway, went to the ban...

floridawife · floridawife

So my AH recently admitted that he has a drinking problem, he promised himself he wouldn't drink again, was good for about 3 weeks (he was never an everyday drinker-he is a social drinker-goes out with friends and can't control his drinking-comes home drunk and drives drunk at times-arrested for a DU...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I am working on letting go of outcomes and surrendering. Today I have a second interview at a Doctor's office where they train you to become a medical assistant. I already have some college courses in this field so it would be great. The pay would be better than I make now, most likely. Also I have my...

this too shall pass · this too shall pass

he has been sober for over a year... last week i was moving out when he sat down and spoke and had a discussion-- not something he does- he said he needed time to change and let's give it another shot.. i thought for a couple of days and then agreed... he tried for a week and then last night was out with his fri...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Time to do our happy dance! It's Christy's birthday today! She wears 39 very well! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY CUJO! Love ya tons! Thanks for all you do here. It's been a remarkable journey with you. Remember calories don't count this week, so you can have your and eat it too! Live strong, Karilynn &a...

suave75 · suave75

I went to my first Alanon meeting. I was so nervous. They recommended at least 6 meetings. I am very shy so didn't speak. I just listened. I now know I am not alone. I was feeling very alone. My AB is in the early stages of recovery. It's been a week since he last had alcohol and drugs. He got a sponsor and is go...

kath · kath

I am so finally glad I broke out of my isolation. I used to suffer so much because I thought it was normal to be treated like dirt by my AH. I thought it was the way things were because I was such a bad person and I deserved it. In this program I have learned that I am a valuable and lovable person, and that the fir...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi everyone, there is something stressing me out (that Id like to squash) and Id like to hear others thoughts or experiences in similar situations. As some of you know, my AH is in rehab right now, he was in detox before that. His mother keeps emailing me telling me how worried sick she is, she hasnt heard...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Perhaps one of the premises of al-anon that makes it "work", is the repetition of concepts, ideas, and priniciples until one is ready to get it. Could it be that time has come for me? Now I am not talking about something earth-shattering and new, I am talking about the basic premise that al-...

Rhivenn · Rhivenn

Hello all. I'm 39, and happily attached to my guy. He's just had his 4th AA birthday (this time around) We've been together for a little over a year, and the AA world was very new to me. I've not gone to al anon meetings, but I have gone to plenty of open AA meetings with him, and have read some of the Big Book. (...

helpme08 · helpme08

My diabetic AH is going to court next Monday for what's called an "Initial Appearance". I am staring at a blank sheet of paper and wondering where to even start. I can only write about the incident in which he was arrested. On that date, he drank most of the day and became verbally abusive t...

knowmadic · knowmadic

Hello, everyone. I'm new to this group. I've been scrolling through the message board and am comforted just reading other people's stories. I left my AH this weekend. He drank to "celebrate" finishing an exam and a good meeting with his supervisor after promising not to drink "f...

Phoe · Phoe

This morning there was an article in the paper...my exAH has been suspended from his job pending investigation. I know his situation is not my problem, and let me tell you, I am so grateful that it isn't! However, it did dredge up a lot of feelings...I am very ashamed of things I did/accepted when I was in...

sdisnie · sdisnie

As I read posts and read the newcomers stories.....I realize how I have been in their places, how we have all been in their places. A lot of us have married young......we have kids, we don't make enough money, or we stay home with our young kids, our spouses support us, our spouses develop these pro...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I have been on the AA board on this site for over 2 years. I came there when I had about 60 days sober (which was a pink chip in the meetings in my area). I am here to learn and understand more about how alcoholism affects families. I am also a therapist, though I don't claim to have expertise that I don't. I...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

Recently I don't know why, I am feeling badly. I was trying a lot last week in every area of my life (health, Alanon, studies, schedule), and just kind of ran out of steam. I think maybe I have just entered some sort of delayed grieving over my canceled wedding (mid-October), and fed up about still not kno...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Marriage and Money! (the message at church yesterday) My husband initiated going to church yesterday morning. We do go often but not often enough. The devil has a strange way of getting at me, even in church! Anyways.. last week our Pastor asked all of us to think about Gratfulness all week long. Th...

f2fmember · f2fmember

Hi I've been in Alanon recovery for a long time now. My AH can be annoying but hes working his program hard and doing really well. My problem is with a friend of mine S who is not in recovery. She'll quite openly say shes an A to get attention and sympathy but she won't get help. Since my AH went into recovery...

ntxalanon · ntxalanon

I did some searches on this board under this topic and found it strikingly similiar, but I thought I would throw out this topic in search of some wisdom. My wife came back from a 30 day rehab experience and has been home about 10 days (40 days sober which is something to be commended and celebrated). I had t...

floridawife · floridawife

I am feeling very overwhelmed. My husband and I just realized that he is an Alcoholic. I am just starting to get into AL-Anon, I haven't even went to my 1st f2f Al-Anon meeting yet. I will, but right now I am feeling very overwhelmed with things in my life. I keep reading that we need to focus on ourselves...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

I have been seperated from my wife since September, but the emotional seperation has been for years. I have been posting to a divorce forum. In the beginning the addiction was this pesky little problem that once the marriage got resolved would get fixed. My wife is very high functioning and succe...

Willow1 · Willow1

Hi, I have lived with a husband who is an alcoholic for 15 yrs. Though I made it clear that I disliked his drinking, he did not think he had an issue and enjoyed it so refused to stop. Afterall, when he was young he was a D&A counselor so knew all the signs of an alcoholic and he considered himself a funct...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I'm struggling a lot with compassion today. It has been an incredibly tough few weeks for me, and every day seems to pile more on. Today's bad news involves my mom's deteriorating health. I am so insanely angry at my AH right now because he is totally unable to show me any meaningful compassion. Every co...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

I watched the Movie "When Love is not Enough" - the Lois Wilson Story with Winona Ryder last night. Wow... great movie. I think I have done and said every single thing Lois did in that movie, I could feel her feelings, her heartbreak and despair, her guilt, her isolation, the progression, t...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

This weekend, my wife and I took the kids out to a park that we go to a lot in the spring and summer. We've had a fair amount of snow recently and we thought we may be able to find some hills for the kids to go sledding or just explore a bit and see what we found. When we got there, we were surprised to see no other ca...

desperateaunt · desperateaunt

Hello, I am the aunt of a 19 year old boy. He has a drug and alcohol problem. He has been using mostly pot and pills. He is not able to get along with his mom so I agreed to take him in after he had been in jail for stealing. Over the last year he has been leaving with friends families and stealing from them and...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I was doing some reading online about people who hide their drinking. I stumbled upon a psychologist's website where he gives this advice: If your spouse is hiding their alcohol, you should take the bottles and put them out on the kitchen counter. When spouse comes home and says, "what's this...

kath · kath

I ended it with my husband last night. He didnt believe me when I told him that I didnt want to be married to someone who has to stay high all the time. He thinks I have found another man. I have not. He accused me of taking his daughter away from him and asked me to leave him alone as he was mourning the loss of hi...

clep · clep

I have a family that is horrendous. I have had nothing to do with them for many years. I couldn't imagine having my son around such dysfunctional and manipulative people. We can't even visit for a short time as that time is filled with such chaos, brainwashing, control, cruelty and shame. I have tw...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

My life has become unmanageable...WOW! What strong words and sooo true right now. Last week I found out I am facing another surgery...number six, for a tumor growing in me. It has to be removed as the Dr said it will continue to grow. Of course I was in shock...not again I thought...but yes again. Thi...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

Keep on hearing this word. Would like to read what it really is in your opinion, along with their behaviors. Does this come after rehab & when they are truely sober?

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I have a question about a recurrent theme on this board and at my Al-Anon meetings that I just can't understand. When the alcoholic drinks and decides to drive, I get the strong impression that I should never call the cops. I understand we need detach from the alcoholic's drinking and not let it make us c...

maresie · maresie

I have been reading again (I had not been able to as I was working so much) and discovered that compassion is a skill rather than a given. In the past I had a great deal of compassion for others and little for myself. The compassion I had was linked to my desire to control. I had compassion for them and use...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My emotions are free floating about 20 feet off of the cliff. I'm sad and very sad and I'm angry and depressed and concerned. I am not trusting for the moment and am groping for the hemline of my HP's pullover. I've been like this off and on for over 5 months as a direct result of the death of a person I've...

casa · casa

Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. December minutes were approved as written. First item: Meeting schedule. AM MON Shimo TUES xeno WED Iona THURS OPEN FRI Blendergirl SAT OPEN SUN (Spiritual) OPEN PM MON grammie TUES casa WEDS ednaxrat THURS (Step/tradition) courage...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	HP decisions and rug NOT pulled out....(c:UPDATE!!!! (Preview) UPdate part! I just got an email I can have this place if I want it! You guys its late, I tend to be pretty weak when I am tired. I have to tell you I am scared. Very scared. I know moving is always hard right? I have to go no matter what. I will go put the deposit down Tuesday to hold to Feb. The internet and tv are be...	Debilyn	5	1481	Jan 22, 2011 by VickieB
	Went to a f2f last night :) (Preview) I have been working hard here since July 28th... And last night I decided I need some face to face time too. And I didn't have my kids or anything going on. So I went. My bf actually went to a meeting in the next room for him as well. I had already decided I was going no matter what, if he went to one or not. I...	sunflowergirl	10	754	Jan 22, 2011 by knowmadic
	Is there a difference in LIQUIDS??? (Preview) AH is coming home within a week from a 28 day intensive rehab. Honestly, Im nervous, and dont know if all of my mixed up emotions can handle his arrival..The mental issues or so called A behaviors are the ones that will throw me under the bus faster than anything... I have already heard them on the phone wh...	KimmyJo	11	2432	Jan 22, 2011 by pinkchip
	trying to understand (Preview) I hear often "don't be an enabler"...I need help understanding how to practice that.	wintergirl	4	752	Jan 22, 2011 by wintergirl
	Back to the books and other stuff (Preview) Yes I am a glutton ... I got through my classes, moved the business, worked enough to pay for my life and hopefully this semester and finished it all up in time to have one weekend off and here I go again. I'll be checking in and reading as much as possible and thinking of you all constantly but probably not...	Jennifer	2	593	Jan 21, 2011 by Debilyn
	feeling hopeful (Preview) My wife came home from rehab on Wednesday. We are separated, but we went out for dinner as a family Wednesday and we made dinner together last night, and she hung out for a couple of hours both nights. The difference in her has been amazing so far. It is like these last two nights she has been present in t...	DadtoCandE	5	785	Jan 21, 2011 by Jerry F
	Just Got my AH to Cancel A Playdate (Preview) I feel so disappointed. MY AH organised to have my daughter's friend from childcare of this evening and her parents for dinner. I thought it was a big ask as the house is really messy and I've had really bad morning sickness. I said three days ago that I wasn't feeling comfortable with this. But he assure...	Hayes	9	1037	Jan 21, 2011 by McFripp
	My story ... (Preview) I am a recovering alcoholic (almost two years sober, absolutely zero slips not even a sip) and am married to an alcoholic. I am sure for those never having been an alcoholic personally, that living with one can be extremely difficult/impossible. Trust me, its alot worse (?) when you are a recoverin...	billr	9	1221	Jan 21, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	More and more I am getting it :) (Preview) One day at a time right? Today was a good day. Something happened yesterday while reading responses here and hearing from my wonderful sponsor.... I became aware of what you have all been telling me all along. To set boundaries they have to be for me and there cannot ever be an expectation that those...	sunflowergirl	5	693	Jan 21, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	how do i get started? (Preview) how do I start participating in this forum?	jocelgp	3	834	Jan 21, 2011 by canadianguy
	Boundaries vs. control (Preview) I'm new to Al-Anon and am working hard to change my ways of thinking (I'm also going to F2F meetings). As a newbie, I'm experiencing a lot of confusion with trying to understand my behaviors and attitudes. I find myself struggling with having boundaries versus trying to control someone's behavior...	Very Very Tired	15	8639	Jan 21, 2011 by maisey
	Is it irresponsible? (Preview) I think my husband is an alcoholic but he does not. He knows he has a problem drinking but believes he can control it. I believe he needs help and to abstain from alcohol. But, I also want to believe in him and feel like if I don't give him a chance to prove himself to me then I'm somehow letting him down and...	Lizabelle123	4	740	Jan 21, 2011 by abbyal
	Why does my AH think its ok? (Preview) Why does my AH think its ok that he buys the bottles of wine and drinks them at night while we are sleeping? He says, he's not out, he's home and he provides for the family..... Should I bend down and kiss his feet? A little angry right now and need to vent. Last week I turned the computer on and all porn sites...	Rose	13	1123	Jan 21, 2011 by danielle0516
	amazing update (Preview) http://corvallis.craigslist.org/apa/2139275436.html	Debilyn	15	980	Jan 20, 2011 by Jennifer
	the fallacy of therapy (Preview) I want to say to everyone out there that find themelves here and also in therapy - that it takes one to know one. Going to therapy wont give you peace of mind or forgiveness and sharing wont "do" the work for you. Forgiveness as a form of reconciling and releasing the past and pain is the most e...	kitty	17	1394	Jan 20, 2011 by Emi
	My update (Preview) My A brother got out of jail last Wednesday. The judge said if he came back for any alchohol related offense he was facing 5 yrs in the big-boy jail. I drove him around so he could find a place to live. Every place that he liked, did a background check, but he got approval from his number one choice, and we mov...	NCSUgeology	3	835	Jan 20, 2011 by Jerry F
	Need Advice in Dealing With a Friend (Preview) Hello all, I'm not sure if this is the right forum, but I figured since this is alcohol related, I'd post here. I need advice in dealing with a friend's alcohol abuse and the promiscouity that is a result of it. She has had a hard life. She was molested by both her father and step-father and she was take...	Cleo76	7	562	Jan 20, 2011 by Mattie
	Boundaries and outbursts in the home (Preview) My A has always had a temper, even when he was sober (I think he was a dry drunk, quite frankly). He loses his temper very easily but 99% of the time it's not anger AT ME, it's anger about a situation and he wants to vent about it. Usually, he curses while raising his voice, stomps around, slams doors, etc....	ilovedogs	11	663	Jan 20, 2011 by ClaireW
	Argument about me going to Al-Anon meeting (Preview) So my AH admitted he had a drinking problem (about 2 weeks ago) after one of his episodes. Then Tuesday night I came home and asked if he had been drinking, he admitted it, I left it at that and said nothing more about it and tried not to show that I was upset or disappointed. So lastnight I tried to calmly tal...	floridawife	12	1517	Jan 20, 2011 by kitty
	Struggling!! (Preview) I am currently struggling with the detachment process. I am trying to distance myself from my AM but how do you do this without feeling like you have turned your back on them? The problem is I have had enough. I can't sleep and I'm constantly distracted so my kids and my work suffer. I have four siblings...	Lila Frost	7	829	Jan 20, 2011 by reqforpeace
	my update (Preview) I have to let my home go. Cannot fight this anymore, its honestly too much for one person. I almost fainted when I got the letter. I called the advocate who gave me more options. I told him I am done. Its too much on my income. I cannot upkeep a 5 acre place with as big a payment as it is on my income. If the paymen...	Debilyn	6	879	Jan 20, 2011 by kath
	Willingness (Preview) At the f2f meeting I attended this week the topic was willingness and there was lots of great sharing and I was glad I went. I didn't have an opportunity to share but wanted to here. My AH has been hospitalized recently for complications from the disease, then he tried to get sober on his own and now it is j...	stomoxys	4	1628	Jan 20, 2011 by pinkchip
	Confused (Preview) My husband has a problem with drink for along time now. But as years gone by its getting harder for me to deal with.He blames everybody else especially myself and my 11yr old mainly when he has to much and says horrible things to us.But he goes more mad when we fight back at him and he doesnt like it. My 1...	free angel	7	776	Jan 20, 2011 by PrestenT
	TV as an addiction... (Preview) anyone see television as being a form of addiction? I saw my mom turn to television after my father was arrested. she would watch all day long until she went to sleep. I think my soon-to-be-ex-husband, who also drinks and smokes pot, uses television as a form of escapism as well. it's crazy that i use...	knowmadic	12	795	Jan 20, 2011 by Emi
	Awareness into a Martyr... And ME! (Preview) Martyr--- 1) A Person who Dies rather then renounce his religion; 2) One who Makes a Great Sacrifice for the Sake of Principle... 3) A GREAT or CONSTANT Sufferer.... Ok, Well I must confess that When I 1st Entered the Room of Al-Anon and someone would say, "My Mom is a Martyr" I would Dismiss i...	Jozie	5	1429	Jan 19, 2011 by hotrod
	NSF Charges Again (Preview) UGH, our joint account is NEGATIVE again. My personal account is just fine. Yesterday I put $200 from my personal account into our joint account to avoid NSF charges, however it didn't work. All those pending charges from the weekend and MLK day jumped up to bite me in the butt. Anyway, went to the ban...	Sincerely	3	724	Jan 19, 2011 by Aloha
	Oops he did it again (Preview) So my AH recently admitted that he has a drinking problem, he promised himself he wouldn't drink again, was good for about 3 weeks (he was never an everyday drinker-he is a social drinker-goes out with friends and can't control his drinking-comes home drunk and drives drunk at times-arrested for a DU...	floridawife	12	963	Jan 19, 2011 by xeno59
	Surrendering ???? (Preview) I am working on letting go of outcomes and surrendering. Today I have a second interview at a Doctor's office where they train you to become a medical assistant. I already have some college courses in this field so it would be great. The pay would be better than I make now, most likely. Also I have my...	sunflowergirl	11	978	Jan 19, 2011 by xeno59
	leavign him... need the strength (Preview) he has been sober for over a year... last week i was moving out when he sat down and spoke and had a discussion-- not something he does- he said he needed time to change and let's give it another shot.. i thought for a couple of days and then agreed... he tried for a week and then last night was out with his fri...	this too shall pass	17	1022	Jan 19, 2011 by stomoxys
	Happy Birthday Christy! (Preview) Time to do our happy dance! It's Christy's birthday today! She wears 39 very well! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY CUJO! Love ya tons! Thanks for all you do here. It's been a remarkable journey with you. Remember calories don't count this week, so you can have your and eat it too! Live strong, Karilynn &a...	Karilynn	5	814	Jan 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	Went to alanon meeting (Preview) I went to my first Alanon meeting. I was so nervous. They recommended at least 6 meetings. I am very shy so didn't speak. I just listened. I now know I am not alone. I was feeling very alone. My AB is in the early stages of recovery. It's been a week since he last had alcohol and drugs. He got a sponsor and is go...	suave75	6	1118	Jan 19, 2011 by Tracy
	isolation (Preview) I am so finally glad I broke out of my isolation. I used to suffer so much because I thought it was normal to be treated like dirt by my AH. I thought it was the way things were because I was such a bad person and I deserved it. In this program I have learned that I am a valuable and lovable person, and that the fir...	kath	7	897	Jan 19, 2011 by maresie
	Dealing with AH's mom, stressing me out. (Preview) Hi everyone, there is something stressing me out (that Id like to squash) and Id like to hear others thoughts or experiences in similar situations. As some of you know, my AH is in rehab right now, he was in detox before that. His mother keeps emailing me telling me how worried sick she is, she hasnt heard...	danielle0516	8	881	Jan 19, 2011 by maresie
	keeping inside my hula hoop... (Preview) Perhaps one of the premises of al-anon that makes it "work", is the repetition of concepts, ideas, and priniciples until one is ready to get it. Could it be that time has come for me? Now I am not talking about something earth-shattering and new, I am talking about the basic premise that al-...	Loupiness	3	4930	Jan 19, 2011 by canadianguy
	Feeling left out. (Preview) Hello all. I'm 39, and happily attached to my guy. He's just had his 4th AA birthday (this time around) We've been together for a little over a year, and the AA world was very new to me. I've not gone to al anon meetings, but I have gone to plenty of open AA meetings with him, and have read some of the Big Book. (...	Rhivenn	9	1175	Jan 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	Victim Impact Statement (Preview) My diabetic AH is going to court next Monday for what's called an "Initial Appearance". I am staring at a blank sheet of paper and wondering where to even start. I can only write about the incident in which he was arrested. On that date, he drank most of the day and became verbally abusive t...	helpme08	4	1855	Jan 19, 2011 by lacewing
	left husband this weekend... (Preview) Hello, everyone. I'm new to this group. I've been scrolling through the message board and am comforted just reading other people's stories. I left my AH this weekend. He drank to "celebrate" finishing an exam and a good meeting with his supervisor after promising not to drink "f...	knowmadic	11	992	Jan 18, 2011 by knowmadic
	Sometimes it's one hour or one minute at a time! (Preview) This morning there was an article in the paper...my exAH has been suspended from his job pending investigation. I know his situation is not my problem, and let me tell you, I am so grateful that it isn't! However, it did dredge up a lot of feelings...I am very ashamed of things I did/accepted when I was in...	Phoe	7	832	Jan 18, 2011 by firehorse
	So many of us feel so stuck! (Preview) As I read posts and read the newcomers stories.....I realize how I have been in their places, how we have all been in their places. A lot of us have married young......we have kids, we don't make enough money, or we stay home with our young kids, our spouses support us, our spouses develop these pro...	sdisnie	4	781	Jan 18, 2011 by ilovedogs
	Introducing self (Preview) I have been on the AA board on this site for over 2 years. I came there when I had about 60 days sober (which was a pink chip in the meetings in my area). I am here to learn and understand more about how alcoholism affects families. I am also a therapist, though I don't claim to have expertise that I don't. I...	pinkchip	10	849	Jan 18, 2011 by pinkchip
	what gets you out of a rut when you lose hope and feel overhwelmed? (Preview) Recently I don't know why, I am feeling badly. I was trying a lot last week in every area of my life (health, Alanon, studies, schedule), and just kind of ran out of steam. I think maybe I have just entered some sort of delayed grieving over my canceled wedding (mid-October), and fed up about still not kno...	Imogen421	12	934	Jan 18, 2011 by kitty
	M & M's (Preview) Marriage and Money! (the message at church yesterday) My husband initiated going to church yesterday morning. We do go often but not often enough. The devil has a strange way of getting at me, even in church! Anyways.. last week our Pastor asked all of us to think about Gratfulness all week long. Th...	Sincerely	3	653	Jan 18, 2011 by Sincerely
	How easy it is to relapse (Preview) Hi I've been in Alanon recovery for a long time now. My AH can be annoying but hes working his program hard and doing really well. My problem is with a friend of mine S who is not in recovery. She'll quite openly say shes an A to get attention and sympathy but she won't get help. Since my AH went into recovery...	f2fmember	7	1141	Jan 18, 2011 by f2fmember
	back from Rehab (Preview) I did some searches on this board under this topic and found it strikingly similiar, but I thought I would throw out this topic in search of some wisdom. My wife came back from a 30 day rehab experience and has been home about 10 days (40 days sober which is something to be commended and celebrated). I had t...	ntxalanon	9	781	Jan 17, 2011 by ntxalanon
	Overwhelmed Newbie (Preview) I am feeling very overwhelmed. My husband and I just realized that he is an Alcoholic. I am just starting to get into AL-Anon, I haven't even went to my 1st f2f Al-Anon meeting yet. I will, but right now I am feeling very overwhelmed with things in my life. I keep reading that we need to focus on ourselves...	floridawife	8	859	Jan 17, 2011 by Peggy7
	hello (Preview) I have been seperated from my wife since September, but the emotional seperation has been for years. I have been posting to a divorce forum. In the beginning the addiction was this pesky little problem that once the marriage got resolved would get fixed. My wife is very high functioning and succe...	DadtoCandE	7	481	Jan 17, 2011 by Jennifer
	Newbie- how do I support my DH? (Preview) Hi, I have lived with a husband who is an alcoholic for 15 yrs. Though I made it clear that I disliked his drinking, he did not think he had an issue and enjoyed it so refused to stop. Afterall, when he was young he was a D&A counselor so knew all the signs of an alcoholic and he considered himself a funct...	Willow1	3	503	Jan 17, 2011 by abbyal
	Compassion (Preview) I'm struggling a lot with compassion today. It has been an incredibly tough few weeks for me, and every day seems to pile more on. Today's bad news involves my mom's deteriorating health. I am so insanely angry at my AH right now because he is totally unable to show me any meaningful compassion. Every co...	stephaniej	6	642	Jan 17, 2011 by kitty
	When Love is not Enough (Preview) I watched the Movie "When Love is not Enough" - the Lois Wilson Story with Winona Ryder last night. Wow... great movie. I think I have done and said every single thing Lois did in that movie, I could feel her feelings, her heartbreak and despair, her guilt, her isolation, the progression, t...	danielle0516	6	923	Jan 17, 2011 by hotrod
	A moment I felt close to HP (Preview) This weekend, my wife and I took the kids out to a park that we go to a lot in the spring and summer. We've had a fair amount of snow recently and we thought we may be able to find some hills for the kids to go sledding or just explore a bit and see what we found. When we got there, we were surprised to see no other ca...	usedtobeanyer	5	804	Jan 17, 2011 by member922
	struggling aunt (Preview) Hello, I am the aunt of a 19 year old boy. He has a drug and alcohol problem. He has been using mostly pot and pills. He is not able to get along with his mom so I agreed to take him in after he had been in jail for stealing. Over the last year he has been leaving with friends families and stealing from them and...	desperateaunt	3	768	Jan 17, 2011 by abbyal
	Would this tactic work? (Preview) I was doing some reading online about people who hide their drinking. I stumbled upon a psychologist's website where he gives this advice: If your spouse is hiding their alcohol, you should take the bottles and put them out on the kitchen counter. When spouse comes home and says, "what's this...	ilovedogs	22	1052	Jan 16, 2011 by danielle0516
	I ended it (Preview) I ended it with my husband last night. He didnt believe me when I told him that I didnt want to be married to someone who has to stay high all the time. He thinks I have found another man. I have not. He accused me of taking his daughter away from him and asked me to leave him alone as he was mourning the loss of hi...	kath	12	1060	Jan 16, 2011 by AngieD
	My niece died and here comes my dreaded family. (Preview) I have a family that is horrendous. I have had nothing to do with them for many years. I couldn't imagine having my son around such dysfunctional and manipulative people. We can't even visit for a short time as that time is filled with such chaos, brainwashing, control, cruelty and shame. I have tw...	clep	2	610	Jan 16, 2011 by member922
	WOW!!! Talk about HP's will....I got to see how unmanageable my life is again. (Preview) My life has become unmanageable...WOW! What strong words and sooo true right now. Last week I found out I am facing another surgery...number six, for a tumor growing in me. It has to be removed as the Dr said it will continue to grow. Of course I was in shock...not again I thought...but yes again. Thi...	shellyj123	4	675	Jan 16, 2011 by Loupiness
	DEFINE "DRY DRUNK" (Preview) Keep on hearing this word. Would like to read what it really is in your opinion, along with their behaviors. Does this come after rehab & when they are truely sober?	KimmyJo	9	4364	Jan 16, 2011 by All I can be
	Drinking and driving (Preview) I have a question about a recurrent theme on this board and at my Al-Anon meetings that I just can't understand. When the alcoholic drinks and decides to drive, I get the strong impression that I should never call the cops. I understand we need detach from the alcoholic's drinking and not let it make us c...	looking_for_peace	7	1291	Jan 16, 2011 by canadianguy
	compassion (Preview) I have been reading again (I had not been able to as I was working so much) and discovered that compassion is a skill rather than a given. In the past I had a great deal of compassion for others and little for myself. The compassion I had was linked to my desire to control. I had compassion for them and use...	maresie	6	1627	Jan 16, 2011 by Ava
	Remorsing... (Preview) My emotions are free floating about 20 feet off of the cliff. I'm sad and very sad and I'm angry and depressed and concerned. I am not trusting for the moment and am groping for the hemline of my HP's pullover. I've been like this off and on for over 5 months as a direct result of the death of a person I've...	Jerry F	16	1197	Jan 15, 2011 by Jennifer
	01.09.2010 MIP Chatroom Group Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. December minutes were approved as written. First item: Meeting schedule. AM MON Shimo TUES xeno WED Iona THURS OPEN FRI Blendergirl SAT OPEN SUN (Spiritual) OPEN PM MON grammie TUES casa WEDS ednaxrat THURS (Step/tradition) courage...	casa	0	409	Jan 15, 2011 by casa
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.