Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Rhivenn · Rhivenn

Hello all. I'm 39, and happily attached to my guy. He's just had his 4th AA birthday (this time around) We've been together for a little over a year, and the AA world was very new to me. I've not gone to al anon meetings, but I have gone to plenty of open AA meetings with him, and have read some of the Big Book. (...

helpme08 · helpme08

My diabetic AH is going to court next Monday for what's called an "Initial Appearance". I am staring at a blank sheet of paper and wondering where to even start. I can only write about the incident in which he was arrested. On that date, he drank most of the day and became verbally abusive t...

knowmadic · knowmadic

Hello, everyone. I'm new to this group. I've been scrolling through the message board and am comforted just reading other people's stories. I left my AH this weekend. He drank to "celebrate" finishing an exam and a good meeting with his supervisor after promising not to drink "f...

Phoe · Phoe

This morning there was an article in the paper...my exAH has been suspended from his job pending investigation. I know his situation is not my problem, and let me tell you, I am so grateful that it isn't! However, it did dredge up a lot of feelings...I am very ashamed of things I did/accepted when I was in...

sdisnie · sdisnie

As I read posts and read the newcomers stories.....I realize how I have been in their places, how we have all been in their places. A lot of us have married young......we have kids, we don't make enough money, or we stay home with our young kids, our spouses support us, our spouses develop these pro...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I have been on the AA board on this site for over 2 years. I came there when I had about 60 days sober (which was a pink chip in the meetings in my area). I am here to learn and understand more about how alcoholism affects families. I am also a therapist, though I don't claim to have expertise that I don't. I...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

Recently I don't know why, I am feeling badly. I was trying a lot last week in every area of my life (health, Alanon, studies, schedule), and just kind of ran out of steam. I think maybe I have just entered some sort of delayed grieving over my canceled wedding (mid-October), and fed up about still not kno...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Marriage and Money! (the message at church yesterday) My husband initiated going to church yesterday morning. We do go often but not often enough. The devil has a strange way of getting at me, even in church! Anyways.. last week our Pastor asked all of us to think about Gratfulness all week long. Th...

f2fmember · f2fmember

Hi I've been in Alanon recovery for a long time now. My AH can be annoying but hes working his program hard and doing really well. My problem is with a friend of mine S who is not in recovery. She'll quite openly say shes an A to get attention and sympathy but she won't get help. Since my AH went into recovery...

ntxalanon · ntxalanon

I did some searches on this board under this topic and found it strikingly similiar, but I thought I would throw out this topic in search of some wisdom. My wife came back from a 30 day rehab experience and has been home about 10 days (40 days sober which is something to be commended and celebrated). I had t...

floridawife · floridawife

I am feeling very overwhelmed. My husband and I just realized that he is an Alcoholic. I am just starting to get into AL-Anon, I haven't even went to my 1st f2f Al-Anon meeting yet. I will, but right now I am feeling very overwhelmed with things in my life. I keep reading that we need to focus on ourselves...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

I have been seperated from my wife since September, but the emotional seperation has been for years. I have been posting to a divorce forum. In the beginning the addiction was this pesky little problem that once the marriage got resolved would get fixed. My wife is very high functioning and succe...

Willow1 · Willow1

Hi, I have lived with a husband who is an alcoholic for 15 yrs. Though I made it clear that I disliked his drinking, he did not think he had an issue and enjoyed it so refused to stop. Afterall, when he was young he was a D&A counselor so knew all the signs of an alcoholic and he considered himself a funct...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I'm struggling a lot with compassion today. It has been an incredibly tough few weeks for me, and every day seems to pile more on. Today's bad news involves my mom's deteriorating health. I am so insanely angry at my AH right now because he is totally unable to show me any meaningful compassion. Every co...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

I watched the Movie "When Love is not Enough" - the Lois Wilson Story with Winona Ryder last night. Wow... great movie. I think I have done and said every single thing Lois did in that movie, I could feel her feelings, her heartbreak and despair, her guilt, her isolation, the progression, t...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

This weekend, my wife and I took the kids out to a park that we go to a lot in the spring and summer. We've had a fair amount of snow recently and we thought we may be able to find some hills for the kids to go sledding or just explore a bit and see what we found. When we got there, we were surprised to see no other ca...

desperateaunt · desperateaunt

Hello, I am the aunt of a 19 year old boy. He has a drug and alcohol problem. He has been using mostly pot and pills. He is not able to get along with his mom so I agreed to take him in after he had been in jail for stealing. Over the last year he has been leaving with friends families and stealing from them and...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I was doing some reading online about people who hide their drinking. I stumbled upon a psychologist's website where he gives this advice: If your spouse is hiding their alcohol, you should take the bottles and put them out on the kitchen counter. When spouse comes home and says, "what's this...

kath · kath

I ended it with my husband last night. He didnt believe me when I told him that I didnt want to be married to someone who has to stay high all the time. He thinks I have found another man. I have not. He accused me of taking his daughter away from him and asked me to leave him alone as he was mourning the loss of hi...

clep · clep

I have a family that is horrendous. I have had nothing to do with them for many years. I couldn't imagine having my son around such dysfunctional and manipulative people. We can't even visit for a short time as that time is filled with such chaos, brainwashing, control, cruelty and shame. I have tw...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

My life has become unmanageable...WOW! What strong words and sooo true right now. Last week I found out I am facing another surgery...number six, for a tumor growing in me. It has to be removed as the Dr said it will continue to grow. Of course I was in shock...not again I thought...but yes again. Thi...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

Keep on hearing this word. Would like to read what it really is in your opinion, along with their behaviors. Does this come after rehab & when they are truely sober?

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I have a question about a recurrent theme on this board and at my Al-Anon meetings that I just can't understand. When the alcoholic drinks and decides to drive, I get the strong impression that I should never call the cops. I understand we need detach from the alcoholic's drinking and not let it make us c...

maresie · maresie

I have been reading again (I had not been able to as I was working so much) and discovered that compassion is a skill rather than a given. In the past I had a great deal of compassion for others and little for myself. The compassion I had was linked to my desire to control. I had compassion for them and use...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My emotions are free floating about 20 feet off of the cliff. I'm sad and very sad and I'm angry and depressed and concerned. I am not trusting for the moment and am groping for the hemline of my HP's pullover. I've been like this off and on for over 5 months as a direct result of the death of a person I've...

casa · casa

Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. December minutes were approved as written. First item: Meeting schedule. AM MON Shimo TUES xeno WED Iona THURS OPEN FRI Blendergirl SAT OPEN SUN (Spiritual) OPEN PM MON grammie TUES casa WEDS ednaxrat THURS (Step/tradition) courage...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Yesterday I found out that my mom has elevated liver enzymes. She didn't want to tell anyone in the family about it (she's still in denial that everyone knows she drinks and has known for the last 20 years). My stepfather told me, though - he told me she went to see a new doctor to get her high blood pressu...

Jozie · Jozie

As Most Know I have resently had a Pretty Tough Week, and i have to say yesterdays Veiwing was the hardest, Not just because my Friends Father had Past, but because of the Addictions that has reared its ugly head in their family... But only with their Youngest Son, Who at one time, I could have called my br...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't know where I am going but I sure know where I have been! I am letting go today of a counselor/friend. I am so saddened by this--he is not dying or anything but I am going to have to make it w/o him for three long mos. He is going on medical leave. I feel so selfish because I have really be thinking too muc...

member922 · member922

Just wanted to wish you all a happy, stress-free weekend. My kids (plus one) are outside playing in the snow already. Taking the rest as it comes. Enjoy!

ms621 · ms621

I posted this above also, but the last post before mine was in 2009, so I'm thinking it's not looked at too often? I've tried many times to enter the chat and take part in the meetings, but keep getting this message: Unable to connect : java.security.AccessControlException : access denied (java.net....

sdisnie · sdisnie

Ok, so this is kind of hard for me.....the alcoholic vs. the alcohol abuser. Here's the thing.....I know what I don't ever want to be around again...and that of course is what I lived with for 16 years....pure alcoholism hell.....binging, disappearing, complete craziness and chaos..... Now there...

ms621 · ms621

Just talked to my husband and he has had two beers. He's in the very beginning of realizing he is an alcohol abuser. We no longer have it in the house and he says he's never felt better. He lied and lied until I begged for the truth--but I knew, I heard it in his voice--just sort of a test, I guess, waiting t...

member922 · member922

My ABF is a smoker. Recently he attacked me for wanting to see my psychiatrist for a med adjustment (perhaps). He goes on a huge rampage about how the whole world is shutting off their feelings by taking meds and walking around all goofy etc. I am on a mood stabilizer, btw, and have fought with the idea o...

clep · clep

My new study was quite interesting. I have thought often that the extreme co dependence of my A is a program killer when we reconcile. It seems that no matter how strong his program is, once he is in an intimate relationship he loses it via gradually living for me. It is the one thing that really drives...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

From Jerry's post: "Nothing can be more demoralizing than a clinging and abject dependence upon another human being. This often amounts to the demand for a degree of protection and love that no one could possibly satisfy. So our hoped for protectors finally flee, and once more we are left al...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, I was dreaming about the things I'd really like to do to get back at my dh. I know, totally petty and ridiculous, but I thought it was funny to dream. 1. Make him keep track of every penny he spends and give me all his receipts. My goal here would be to make him nervous and force him to sneak a bit more. 2....

ythannah · ythannah

The current Group Representative in my home group has been trying to recruit a new volunteer to replace her, as her term is up. And I'm not clear on the exact situation, but I think she now has a service commitment that puts her in a position where she can't remain as GR. So we need a new GR. At last night'...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

AH often helps me get our children to and from their various activities. There is one activity where I really need him to drive our DS. How do I enforce a boundary that he may not drive with the children in the car if he has been drinking? I don't want to turn our children into police by telling them they c...

clep · clep

As some of you know my A is a dry drunk. I work my program very consistently and haven't felt frustrated for about a month. Today I feel very frustrated. I think because it just dawned on me that there seems to be no bottom with a dry drunk and I will have to live with this behavior as long as I am with him. We j...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Sorry for the short notice, but I will be unable to chair tomorrow's morning meeting. Hopefully someone can step in and chair for us. Thanks, bg

LOSTMOMMY · LOSTMOMMY

I just married my husband in october of 2010. I have been with him for seven years. We have a six year old. He just found out his leukemia came back in november 09 and since then had a stem cell transplant. He was sober for 4 years and has just recently started using heroin again. He is in a detox right no...

floridawife · floridawife

Hi everyone! I am new to the whole Al-Anon thing; I have read some things and want to go to a meeting but haven't had the time YET. I was hoping maybe someone would be able to give me some advise or share their experiences with me. Here is my story: I have been married 8 years (with my husband 13yrs total) I am...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, quick recap of my story: dh and I quit drinking 15 years ago of our own accord. No AA involved, we just quit because we didn't want alcohol in our lives and because dh had a history of being verbally abusive and flying into rages or depressions when he drank too much. We were in our early 20's back then...

Snowdrop · Snowdrop

Hello everyone, I will try and keep it brief. Been with my partner just over a year. He was having a tough time looking after his terminally ill Father when we met and I put his drinking down to that. Wrong! Long story short he went into rehab in the Summer and did really, really well. So proud of him an...

member922 · member922

So recently I have decided to really listen when ABF (or even others) is talking. I do not plan what I am going to say and decide that I do not have to defend anything I do. I am realizing that everyone has a right to their opinion and their right to express it. I feel like I am soaking in a lot and learning mor...

suave75 · suave75

I said he could come home after almost two weeks. He lived out on the street. He stayed at shelters. He is clean and Sober. He has to do 90 meeting in 90 days. I am praying for the best. My boundaries are in place. We decided to work on ourselves and our relationship. Every one thinks I am nuts. I don't have muc...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife & I correspond throughout the day via e-mail and text. When she was actively drinking, I usually could get a sense that something was wrong by her e-mails to me (or lack of e-mails). We had a bunch of snow last night and before I left for work I shoveled our driveway and shoveled out her car. I go...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...just some verifying information from the other program that I came across from inside my own library of literature (literature is very good!!). I use to wonder what the alcoholic knew and felt and thought. Did they (she) understand and I haunted that question if not her self wantin...

Angeliki · Angeliki

Hi! I finally took all of your advice and went to my first F2F meeting yesterday. I was incredibly nervous and was already in tears by the time I walked into the room. I felt like a complete basketcase... I expected to be nervous but I don't really know where the tears came from. It was really crazy. But wit...

Jozie · Jozie

Currently I am Having a Week from Hell... And I Can't seem to catch a Break... Went Out to Eat with some Al-Anon Friends Fri, and the Brakes went out on my truck so Its in the shop, Sat. My Sister Was Hit in a Car Acciedent, (Thank God OK) My Office & Home Computer have Both Crashed with in the last 5 days, a...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

For the last week and a half, AH has been on vacation. The first week, we were in Winter Park, CO on a ski trip. This week he spent Monday thru Wednesday at home, while I had to work. His first day back to work was yesterday, but this week is his week to work from home. Yesterday was his only work day this we...

Evian · Evian

I just went to go to our one family email, where I discovered 4 emails from the one questionable site linked from fb. One was confirming the new account, and 3 were notifications of new messages for HIM!! He doesn't know that I know, and at first I was really angry, and upset. I didn't tell him or lead on t...

craftygirl · craftygirl

In my life, the state of my mental well being is directly shown by how well my house is kept. My house is a wreck today. I am afraid of what the future holds for me. There's so much to know and figure out...sometimes I really just want to give up. So why don't I? I guess this is the time to really turn it over to G...

kath · kath

I was so angry at my AH that I said some very hurtul words to him. I wanted him to hurt as much as I was hurting. I made amends but the damage is done. He won't be able to forget the hurtful words I said, that is what he told me. I realize my expectations of this marriage are crazy and I must let go of them. Insanity...

Hayes · Hayes

He just get's NASTY. And then I get nasty back. The verbal abuse he flings at me triggers everything in me from my childhood and I show little self control - engaging in an argument and trying to defend and justify. So, so down on myself. Going to read on here and hopefully read about some detachment. Wish...

Jennifer · Jennifer

As usual when I least want to share and would rather curl up and hide here I am making myself type it out. Thanks for listening. For the last couple years I have been working hard to accept something about myself that I did not choose and is impossible to change. I manage it as best I can and it impacts other...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and so part of my "coming to understand" included college and the rooms of the Al-Anon Family Groups and the program as suggested. I learned about Denial and Diminishing the problem and Delusion. Aloha...my mind has been on former sponsors and wise oldtimers in the program who raised me....

Evian · Evian

My AH and I have issues pertaining to the bedroom.. I'm sure I don't have to explain what.. He wants it, I don't. The other day however I let him, and I tell you, it made me feel so dirty and gross, and I hated every second of it. That being said, I'm not sure why it then bothers me to find out that while on Face...

rahamimi · rahamimi

I see there are a number of people looking for help with family/friends with eating disorders. I went to an O-ANon meeting 20+ years ago in Cincinnati. I had contact with O-Anon several years ago, but it was petering out at the time. I notice that people are asking for information. The best informa...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Feeling left out. (Preview) Hello all. I'm 39, and happily attached to my guy. He's just had his 4th AA birthday (this time around) We've been together for a little over a year, and the AA world was very new to me. I've not gone to al anon meetings, but I have gone to plenty of open AA meetings with him, and have read some of the Big Book. (...	Rhivenn	9	1095	Jan 19, 2011 by Jerry F
	Victim Impact Statement (Preview) My diabetic AH is going to court next Monday for what's called an "Initial Appearance". I am staring at a blank sheet of paper and wondering where to even start. I can only write about the incident in which he was arrested. On that date, he drank most of the day and became verbally abusive t...	helpme08	4	1776	Jan 19, 2011 by lacewing
	left husband this weekend... (Preview) Hello, everyone. I'm new to this group. I've been scrolling through the message board and am comforted just reading other people's stories. I left my AH this weekend. He drank to "celebrate" finishing an exam and a good meeting with his supervisor after promising not to drink "f...	knowmadic	11	915	Jan 18, 2011 by knowmadic
	Sometimes it's one hour or one minute at a time! (Preview) This morning there was an article in the paper...my exAH has been suspended from his job pending investigation. I know his situation is not my problem, and let me tell you, I am so grateful that it isn't! However, it did dredge up a lot of feelings...I am very ashamed of things I did/accepted when I was in...	Phoe	7	745	Jan 18, 2011 by firehorse
	So many of us feel so stuck! (Preview) As I read posts and read the newcomers stories.....I realize how I have been in their places, how we have all been in their places. A lot of us have married young......we have kids, we don't make enough money, or we stay home with our young kids, our spouses support us, our spouses develop these pro...	sdisnie	4	707	Jan 18, 2011 by ilovedogs
	Introducing self (Preview) I have been on the AA board on this site for over 2 years. I came there when I had about 60 days sober (which was a pink chip in the meetings in my area). I am here to learn and understand more about how alcoholism affects families. I am also a therapist, though I don't claim to have expertise that I don't. I...	pinkchip	10	758	Jan 18, 2011 by pinkchip
	what gets you out of a rut when you lose hope and feel overhwelmed? (Preview) Recently I don't know why, I am feeling badly. I was trying a lot last week in every area of my life (health, Alanon, studies, schedule), and just kind of ran out of steam. I think maybe I have just entered some sort of delayed grieving over my canceled wedding (mid-October), and fed up about still not kno...	Imogen421	12	863	Jan 18, 2011 by kitty
	M & M's (Preview) Marriage and Money! (the message at church yesterday) My husband initiated going to church yesterday morning. We do go often but not often enough. The devil has a strange way of getting at me, even in church! Anyways.. last week our Pastor asked all of us to think about Gratfulness all week long. Th...	Sincerely	3	570	Jan 18, 2011 by Sincerely
	How easy it is to relapse (Preview) Hi I've been in Alanon recovery for a long time now. My AH can be annoying but hes working his program hard and doing really well. My problem is with a friend of mine S who is not in recovery. She'll quite openly say shes an A to get attention and sympathy but she won't get help. Since my AH went into recovery...	f2fmember	7	1064	Jan 18, 2011 by f2fmember
	back from Rehab (Preview) I did some searches on this board under this topic and found it strikingly similiar, but I thought I would throw out this topic in search of some wisdom. My wife came back from a 30 day rehab experience and has been home about 10 days (40 days sober which is something to be commended and celebrated). I had t...	ntxalanon	9	701	Jan 17, 2011 by ntxalanon
	Overwhelmed Newbie (Preview) I am feeling very overwhelmed. My husband and I just realized that he is an Alcoholic. I am just starting to get into AL-Anon, I haven't even went to my 1st f2f Al-Anon meeting yet. I will, but right now I am feeling very overwhelmed with things in my life. I keep reading that we need to focus on ourselves...	floridawife	8	779	Jan 17, 2011 by Peggy7
	hello (Preview) I have been seperated from my wife since September, but the emotional seperation has been for years. I have been posting to a divorce forum. In the beginning the addiction was this pesky little problem that once the marriage got resolved would get fixed. My wife is very high functioning and succe...	DadtoCandE	7	402	Jan 17, 2011 by Jennifer
	Newbie- how do I support my DH? (Preview) Hi, I have lived with a husband who is an alcoholic for 15 yrs. Though I made it clear that I disliked his drinking, he did not think he had an issue and enjoyed it so refused to stop. Afterall, when he was young he was a D&A counselor so knew all the signs of an alcoholic and he considered himself a funct...	Willow1	3	419	Jan 17, 2011 by abbyal
	Compassion (Preview) I'm struggling a lot with compassion today. It has been an incredibly tough few weeks for me, and every day seems to pile more on. Today's bad news involves my mom's deteriorating health. I am so insanely angry at my AH right now because he is totally unable to show me any meaningful compassion. Every co...	stephaniej	6	565	Jan 17, 2011 by kitty
	When Love is not Enough (Preview) I watched the Movie "When Love is not Enough" - the Lois Wilson Story with Winona Ryder last night. Wow... great movie. I think I have done and said every single thing Lois did in that movie, I could feel her feelings, her heartbreak and despair, her guilt, her isolation, the progression, t...	danielle0516	6	826	Jan 17, 2011 by hotrod
	A moment I felt close to HP (Preview) This weekend, my wife and I took the kids out to a park that we go to a lot in the spring and summer. We've had a fair amount of snow recently and we thought we may be able to find some hills for the kids to go sledding or just explore a bit and see what we found. When we got there, we were surprised to see no other ca...	usedtobeanyer	5	734	Jan 17, 2011 by member922
	struggling aunt (Preview) Hello, I am the aunt of a 19 year old boy. He has a drug and alcohol problem. He has been using mostly pot and pills. He is not able to get along with his mom so I agreed to take him in after he had been in jail for stealing. Over the last year he has been leaving with friends families and stealing from them and...	desperateaunt	3	691	Jan 17, 2011 by abbyal
	Would this tactic work? (Preview) I was doing some reading online about people who hide their drinking. I stumbled upon a psychologist's website where he gives this advice: If your spouse is hiding their alcohol, you should take the bottles and put them out on the kitchen counter. When spouse comes home and says, "what's this...	ilovedogs	22	973	Jan 16, 2011 by danielle0516
	I ended it (Preview) I ended it with my husband last night. He didnt believe me when I told him that I didnt want to be married to someone who has to stay high all the time. He thinks I have found another man. I have not. He accused me of taking his daughter away from him and asked me to leave him alone as he was mourning the loss of hi...	kath	12	955	Jan 16, 2011 by AngieD
	My niece died and here comes my dreaded family. (Preview) I have a family that is horrendous. I have had nothing to do with them for many years. I couldn't imagine having my son around such dysfunctional and manipulative people. We can't even visit for a short time as that time is filled with such chaos, brainwashing, control, cruelty and shame. I have tw...	clep	2	538	Jan 16, 2011 by member922
	WOW!!! Talk about HP's will....I got to see how unmanageable my life is again. (Preview) My life has become unmanageable...WOW! What strong words and sooo true right now. Last week I found out I am facing another surgery...number six, for a tumor growing in me. It has to be removed as the Dr said it will continue to grow. Of course I was in shock...not again I thought...but yes again. Thi...	shellyj123	4	603	Jan 16, 2011 by Loupiness
	DEFINE "DRY DRUNK" (Preview) Keep on hearing this word. Would like to read what it really is in your opinion, along with their behaviors. Does this come after rehab & when they are truely sober?	KimmyJo	9	4258	Jan 16, 2011 by All I can be
	Drinking and driving (Preview) I have a question about a recurrent theme on this board and at my Al-Anon meetings that I just can't understand. When the alcoholic drinks and decides to drive, I get the strong impression that I should never call the cops. I understand we need detach from the alcoholic's drinking and not let it make us c...	looking_for_peace	7	1215	Jan 16, 2011 by canadianguy
	compassion (Preview) I have been reading again (I had not been able to as I was working so much) and discovered that compassion is a skill rather than a given. In the past I had a great deal of compassion for others and little for myself. The compassion I had was linked to my desire to control. I had compassion for them and use...	maresie	6	1541	Jan 16, 2011 by Ava
	Remorsing... (Preview) My emotions are free floating about 20 feet off of the cliff. I'm sad and very sad and I'm angry and depressed and concerned. I am not trusting for the moment and am groping for the hemline of my HP's pullover. I've been like this off and on for over 5 months as a direct result of the death of a person I've...	Jerry F	16	1122	Jan 15, 2011 by Jennifer
	01.09.2010 MIP Chatroom Group Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. December minutes were approved as written. First item: Meeting schedule. AM MON Shimo TUES xeno WED Iona THURS OPEN FRI Blendergirl SAT OPEN SUN (Spiritual) OPEN PM MON grammie TUES casa WEDS ednaxrat THURS (Step/tradition) courage...	casa	0	336	Jan 15, 2011 by casa
	Prayers, please (Preview) Yesterday I found out that my mom has elevated liver enzymes. She didn't want to tell anyone in the family about it (she's still in denial that everyone knows she drinks and has known for the last 20 years). My stepfather told me, though - he told me she went to see a new doctor to get her high blood pressu...	White Rabbit	7	707	Jan 15, 2011 by Jerry F
	Hard Place to Be, But Grateful (Preview) As Most Know I have resently had a Pretty Tough Week, and i have to say yesterdays Veiwing was the hardest, Not just because my Friends Father had Past, but because of the Addictions that has reared its ugly head in their family... But only with their Youngest Son, Who at one time, I could have called my br...	Jozie	2	752	Jan 15, 2011 by xeno59
	I don't know where I am going... (Preview) I don't know where I am going but I sure know where I have been! I am letting go today of a counselor/friend. I am so saddened by this--he is not dying or anything but I am going to have to make it w/o him for three long mos. He is going on medical leave. I feel so selfish because I have really be thinking too muc...	Hoot Nanny	1	388	Jan 15, 2011 by Phoe
	Good Morning All! (Preview) Just wanted to wish you all a happy, stress-free weekend. My kids (plus one) are outside playing in the snow already. Taking the rest as it comes. Enjoy!	member922	5	681	Jan 15, 2011 by xeno59
	Trouble with chat room (Preview) I posted this above also, but the last post before mine was in 2009, so I'm thinking it's not looked at too often? I've tried many times to enter the chat and take part in the meetings, but keep getting this message: Unable to connect : java.security.AccessControlException : access denied (java.net....	ms621	3	583	Jan 15, 2011 by abbyal
	Alcoholic vs. Alcohol abuser (Preview) Ok, so this is kind of hard for me.....the alcoholic vs. the alcohol abuser. Here's the thing.....I know what I don't ever want to be around again...and that of course is what I lived with for 16 years....pure alcoholism hell.....binging, disappearing, complete craziness and chaos..... Now there...	sdisnie	10	1146	Jan 14, 2011 by xeno59
	Just two drinks, but still... (Preview) Just talked to my husband and he has had two beers. He's in the very beginning of realizing he is an alcohol abuser. We no longer have it in the house and he says he's never felt better. He lied and lied until I begged for the truth--but I knew, I heard it in his voice--just sort of a test, I guess, waiting t...	ms621	8	741	Jan 14, 2011 by xeno59
	Meds vs illegal drugs? (Preview) My ABF is a smoker. Recently he attacked me for wanting to see my psychiatrist for a med adjustment (perhaps). He goes on a huge rampage about how the whole world is shutting off their feelings by taking meds and walking around all goofy etc. I am on a mood stabilizer, btw, and have fought with the idea o...	member922	6	680	Jan 14, 2011 by member922
	Started Al-anon study last night (Preview) My new study was quite interesting. I have thought often that the extreme co dependence of my A is a program killer when we reconcile. It seems that no matter how strong his program is, once he is in an intimate relationship he loses it via gradually living for me. It is the one thing that really drives...	clep	2	689	Jan 14, 2011 by member922
	RE: Feeling the daunting issue of focusing on me (Preview) From Jerry's post: "Nothing can be more demoralizing than a clinging and abject dependence upon another human being. This often amounts to the demand for a degree of protection and love that no one could possibly satisfy. So our hoped for protectors finally flee, and once more we are left al...	sunflowergirl	6	1011	Jan 14, 2011 by maresie
	Funny things I'd like to actually do! (Preview) So, I was dreaming about the things I'd really like to do to get back at my dh. I know, totally petty and ridiculous, but I thought it was funny to dream. 1. Make him keep track of every penny he spends and give me all his receipts. My goal here would be to make him nervous and force him to sneak a bit more. 2....	ilovedogs	5	774	Jan 14, 2011 by ilovedogs
	Service Work (Preview) The current Group Representative in my home group has been trying to recruit a new volunteer to replace her, as her term is up. And I'm not clear on the exact situation, but I think she now has a service commitment that puts her in a position where she can't remain as GR. So we need a new GR. At last night'...	ythannah	4	1737	Jan 14, 2011 by ythannah
	Practical question about kids and AH driving (Preview) AH often helps me get our children to and from their various activities. There is one activity where I really need him to drive our DS. How do I enforce a boundary that he may not drive with the children in the car if he has been drinking? I don't want to turn our children into police by telling them they c...	Very Very Tired	11	938	Jan 14, 2011 by Very Very Tired
	Dry drunk (Preview) As some of you know my A is a dry drunk. I work my program very consistently and haven't felt frustrated for about a month. Today I feel very frustrated. I think because it just dawned on me that there seems to be no bottom with a dry drunk and I will have to live with this behavior as long as I am with him. We j...	clep	3	1502	Jan 14, 2011 by Karilynn
	Friday Morning meeting - need a chair (Preview) Sorry for the short notice, but I will be unable to chair tomorrow's morning meeting. Hopefully someone can step in and chair for us. Thanks, bg	blender_girl	0	334	Jan 13, 2011 by blender_girl
	I NEED HELP (Preview) I just married my husband in october of 2010. I have been with him for seven years. We have a six year old. He just found out his leukemia came back in november 09 and since then had a stem cell transplant. He was sober for 4 years and has just recently started using heroin again. He is in a detox right no...	LOSTMOMMY	5	751	Jan 13, 2011 by hotrod
	I'm new to the board and new to Al-Anon-need advise (Preview) Hi everyone! I am new to the whole Al-Anon thing; I have read some things and want to go to a meeting but haven't had the time YET. I was hoping maybe someone would be able to give me some advise or share their experiences with me. Here is my story: I have been married 8 years (with my husband 13yrs total) I am...	floridawife	6	670	Jan 13, 2011 by Bettina
	I'm back. Question about confronting (Preview) So, quick recap of my story: dh and I quit drinking 15 years ago of our own accord. No AA involved, we just quit because we didn't want alcohol in our lives and because dh had a history of being verbally abusive and flying into rages or depressions when he drank too much. We were in our early 20's back then...	ilovedogs	8	779	Jan 13, 2011 by ilovedogs
	New to Al-anon. My "recovering alcholic" is starting to drink again. How do I deal with it? (Preview) Hello everyone, I will try and keep it brief. Been with my partner just over a year. He was having a tough time looking after his terminally ill Father when we met and I put his drinking down to that. Wrong! Long story short he went into rehab in the Summer and did really, really well. So proud of him an...	Snowdrop	6	1024	Jan 13, 2011 by KimmyJo
	Working on an open mind (Preview) So recently I have decided to really listen when ABF (or even others) is talking. I do not plan what I am going to say and decide that I do not have to defend anything I do. I am realizing that everyone has a right to their opinion and their right to express it. I feel like I am soaking in a lot and learning mor...	member922	3	665	Jan 13, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	He said he hit bottom... (Preview) I said he could come home after almost two weeks. He lived out on the street. He stayed at shelters. He is clean and Sober. He has to do 90 meeting in 90 days. I am praying for the best. My boundaries are in place. We decided to work on ourselves and our relationship. Every one thinks I am nuts. I don't have muc...	suave75	6	680	Jan 13, 2011 by suave75
	Little, teeny, tiny, babysteps (Preview) My wife & I correspond throughout the day via e-mail and text. When she was actively drinking, I usually could get a sense that something was wrong by her e-mails to me (or lack of e-mails). We had a bunch of snow last night and before I left for work I shoveled our driveway and shoveled out her car. I go...	usedtobeanyer	5	456	Jan 13, 2011 by stephaniej
	From the Co-founder of AA (Preview) Aloha Family...just some verifying information from the other program that I came across from inside my own library of literature (literature is very good!!). I use to wonder what the alcoholic knew and felt and thought. Did they (she) understand and I haunted that question if not her self wantin...	Jerry F	4	845	Jan 13, 2011 by kristiekansas
	Went to my first meeting, have some questions (Preview) Hi! I finally took all of your advice and went to my first F2F meeting yesterday. I was incredibly nervous and was already in tears by the time I walked into the room. I felt like a complete basketcase... I expected to be nervous but I don't really know where the tears came from. It was really crazy. But wit...	Angeliki	10	771	Jan 13, 2011 by 1911A1
	Struggling... (Preview) Currently I am Having a Week from Hell... And I Can't seem to catch a Break... Went Out to Eat with some Al-Anon Friends Fri, and the Brakes went out on my truck so Its in the shop, Sat. My Sister Was Hit in a Car Acciedent, (Thank God OK) My Office & Home Computer have Both Crashed with in the last 5 days, a...	Jozie	2	626	Jan 13, 2011 by Debilyn
	Here we go again! (Preview) For the last week and a half, AH has been on vacation. The first week, we were in Winter Park, CO on a ski trip. This week he spent Monday thru Wednesday at home, while I had to work. His first day back to work was yesterday, but this week is his week to work from home. Yesterday was his only work day this we...	kimmy1975	10	972	Jan 13, 2011 by ilovedogs
	Update on Mixed emotions (Preview) I just went to go to our one family email, where I discovered 4 emails from the one questionable site linked from fb. One was confirming the new account, and 3 were notifications of new messages for HIM!! He doesn't know that I know, and at first I was really angry, and upset. I didn't tell him or lead on t...	Evian	2	701	Jan 13, 2011 by danielle0516
	struggling (Preview) In my life, the state of my mental well being is directly shown by how well my house is kept. My house is a wreck today. I am afraid of what the future holds for me. There's so much to know and figure out...sometimes I really just want to give up. So why don't I? I guess this is the time to really turn it over to G...	craftygirl	6	608	Jan 12, 2011 by wp
	slip (Preview) I was so angry at my AH that I said some very hurtul words to him. I wanted him to hurt as much as I was hurting. I made amends but the damage is done. He won't be able to forget the hurtful words I said, that is what he told me. I realize my expectations of this marriage are crazy and I must let go of them. Insanity...	kath	4	754	Jan 12, 2011 by Hayes
	Nasty (Preview) He just get's NASTY. And then I get nasty back. The verbal abuse he flings at me triggers everything in me from my childhood and I show little self control - engaging in an argument and trying to defend and justify. So, so down on myself. Going to read on here and hopefully read about some detachment. Wish...	Hayes	15	760	Jan 12, 2011 by liam
	Having a hard time (Preview) As usual when I least want to share and would rather curl up and hide here I am making myself type it out. Thanks for listening. For the last couple years I have been working hard to accept something about myself that I did not choose and is impossible to change. I manage it as best I can and it impacts other...	Jennifer	4	721	Jan 12, 2011 by Jennifer
	I didn't know and didn't know that I didn't know (Preview) and so part of my "coming to understand" included college and the rooms of the Al-Anon Family Groups and the program as suggested. I learned about Denial and Diminishing the problem and Delusion. Aloha...my mind has been on former sponsors and wise oldtimers in the program who raised me....	Jerry F	9	640	Jan 12, 2011 by david62
	Mixed emotions/confused?? (Preview) My AH and I have issues pertaining to the bedroom.. I'm sure I don't have to explain what.. He wants it, I don't. The other day however I let him, and I tell you, it made me feel so dirty and gross, and I hated every second of it. That being said, I'm not sure why it then bothers me to find out that while on Face...	Evian	1	449	Jan 12, 2011 by Bettina
	O-ANon (closed) O-Anon Overeaters Anonymous eating disorders (Preview) I see there are a number of people looking for help with family/friends with eating disorders. I went to an O-ANon meeting 20+ years ago in Cincinnati. I had contact with O-Anon several years ago, but it was petering out at the time. I notice that people are asking for information. The best informa...	rahamimi	2	3860	Jan 12, 2011 by canadianguy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.