The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So, I was dreaming about the things I'd really like to do to get back at my dh. I know, totally petty and ridiculous, but I thought it was funny to dream.
1. Make him keep track of every penny he spends and give me all his receipts. My goal here would be to make him nervous and force him to sneak a bit more.
2.Take the half empty bottles and empty about 1/3rd of it and make him wonder: Did I really drink that much last night? I'd love to catch him scratching his head on this one.
3. Take the half empty vodka bottle and put some water in it to water it down and see if he notices.
4. Hide his bottles in secondary hiding places. So, if he looks for the gin that was in his golf bag, I will have it hiding in his tennis bag.
I could think of others and I want to say: I WILL NOT do any of those things. These are just things that I amuse myself with to keep me entertained. As if I don't have enough to think about, right? LOL!
I think it is a good possibility if anyone living in this disease said they not had thoughts much like yours they might not be telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
There's enough drudgery, so having a sense of humor gives us a break from the everyday junk that is thrown at us. There is nothing wrong with feeling the way we feel, and thinking humorous thoughts gives us a short break from the seriousness and sadness of alcoholism.
I'll be the first to admit I have had thoughts such as yours, sorry it's my nature. Playing a little humor in your head doesn't hurt anyone. I would love to list a few.....but I think it's best if I take the 5th amendment so as not to incriminate myself!!! LOL
We have to do whatever it takes to stay sane living in the insanity.
Yes, I've poured out some of his beer while he was passed out. I've even taken a couple extra bottles and poured them out and put the empty ones next to the rest of his empty ones to trip him out and make him think he'd drank more.
I got vindictive and did the "crazy making" thing to him. When he was clearly extremely drunk I'd say stuff to him that would confuse him. "Don't you remember when you told me X?" or "I don't know what you're talking about. I never said/did that."
Oh yes... I've done many things. Sometimes in an attempt to control his drinking, others just to alleviate the absolute hurt and anger I was feeling towards him.
Were they constructive? No. When I ask myself "is this how God would have me treat another human being?" my answer would be "no."
I have learned it's far better not to act on my own crazy impulses than to give in to the temptation. Better to pick up the phone and call my sponsor, else my impulse might create more stress in my situation.
Thank you for seeing that I was trying to lighten up my situation. I did look at the grocery ads to day and noticed that his vodka of choice is on sale. I had this vision of me calling him and saying, "Hey, that stuff you like to drink is on sale. Want me to pick up a 5th for ya?"
I guess I have this wishful thinking that I could possibly drive him crazier than he's driving me, LOL!
I've done exactly the same thing -- and sometimes I think concocting silly scenarios in our own heads is kinda therapeutic. Humour really lightens up some grave moments that would probably overwhelm us if we couldn't find a laugh in there.
I even remember getting some friends involved in one of my "revenge fantasies" about my A parents. It was a long time ago, but it had something to do with hip waders, and luring them into a swamp with a couple of bottles of wine. Everyone just contributed more ridiculous components. (You had to be there, it was sheer lunacy)
Every now and then when some minor crisis looms, I'll find myself saying to ABF "I have Al-Anon now, so I'm SERENE" even if I'm saying it through gritted teeth and I'm clearly the opposite of serene at the time -- it brightens my mood just to make a wisecrack.
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Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could... Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson
Well, I have to keep the wisecracks in my head or I might start something I'd regret, LOL!
Just this AM I was thinking that maybe I should try the old: If you can't beat 'em, join 'em philosophy. I wonder what he'd think if he came home and found me drinking a bottle of wine and me saying, "Well, if you're doing it, why shouldn't I? You can't be the only one around here having fun, right?" I'd love to see what he says. Quite frankly, this is one that I might actually try. I sort of hem and haw over it, but it seems to have merit in my passive aggressive thinking right now. I know it will pass, but boy, it's tempting!
