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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Struggling...
Post Info TOPIC: Struggling...
Jozie


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1558
Date:
Struggling...
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Currently I am Having a Week from Hell... And I Can't seem to catch a Break...

Went Out to Eat with some Al-Anon Friends Fri, and the Brakes went out on my truck so Its in the shop, Sat. My Sister Was Hit in a Car Acciedent, (Thank God OK) My Office & Home Computer have Both Crashed with in the last 5 days, and Today I lost My Wallet in a Convient Store, but By the Grace of God a City Cop Found it and I Did get that Back...

The Girlfriend i Spoke to you all about that I just resently hooked up with, after 27 yrs, Just lost her Mom to Cancer this Week, so Went to her Service on Monday, Yesterday.... A Dear Friend of The Family Went to Bed and Never Woke Up... And Today, My Best Friend Since Birth, Just Lost Her Dad, so Survices This Weekend as well...

You know I know that God Gives us Only what he feels we can handle, but there are times when i think he may just have a Little More Faith in me then I do... I can Say that NON of this were a Cause of Alcohol so I guess thats Good, but still... WOW... I want to Crawl in bed and Just Stay there for a week...

I know that God Gave me Back my friend so that I could help her Move Past this With her Mom... Our Familys were so Close a Kids, and Going to that Service and Seeing Her Brother that i hadn't seen in 27 yrs, and her other Sister, and to Meet Her Children and there familys, it was just "Sur real", looking into the Faces of there Children took me Right back to seeing ALL of them as Children, and the memory's that we had...

My BF that Lost Her Dad ...He was my Neighbor for the 1st 9 yrs of my life, and her mom and My mom were best friends and we were always together... I know it was this man that broke me of EVER wanting to see a scary movie in my life...lol... When the Older Kids would make me watch them, he would sneak around the back side of the kitchen, and when a Scary part would come on... He would jump out of no where and grab me by the ankles & Drag me backwards across the floor and scare the B-Jesus out of me...

And my Family Friend, He was a Man that You never Seen not Smiling, He always had a Joke or a Laugh for ya, even if it was no more then giving his Smile to you...

In times like this it is almost like I see Parts of my Past that I haven't looked at in a Long time, The GOOD Parts, the laughs and the fun that we had, I guess this hurts so much because they were all a part of my life in a time were life wasn't so tough.. A time Before the "Alcoholic" Took hold, and started to Tarnish, and sometimes Erase moments like that... Funny How much you can reflect on those times when you are trying to love & hold on to someone you just lost, but when they are here, we take for granted what they bring or have brought to my life...

I am Stepping back a bit from all the "Drama" or at least I "Thought" I was till this week, Of course I know these are all things I can not change, but it does not Change the Emotional Roller Coaster it has caused in my life... The Tears of More Time Lost with People that Did Matter in My LIfe, and Who I Loved & Respected...

Sometimes these LIfe Lesson are harder to accept then I care to admit to... Some may look at this as "they weren't Family" but to Me they Where, they helped Shape and Model me, just as my Own Parents did, they played a Roll in my life that helped lead me to were I am, and it is Very Difficult to accept ALL of this In Under 4 days...

I am Doing My Best to Charge on, and Stay OK, But it is Definately a Struggle to say the Least... Wishing I had a Little Possitive to Look Forward too, instead of all this pain, and Sorrow...

Thanks So Much For Listening... Just Tryin to Hang on...

Love & Prayers to all

pray.gif

Jozie

__________________

Thee Only Journey I Control Is MY Own :)

Gratitude.... Is a God Honoring Attitude! :D
Hayes


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 67
Date:
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I'm so sorry to hear of your losses - and so much at once. But I LOVE to hear the blessings and memories you have drawn from it. True faith. Brilliant. Thinking of you.

__________________
Hayes
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3653
Date:
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gads, sometimes life is like this. Hope it helped to come let it out.

Are you remembering to turn it all off and think of you? We need to refuel you know?

I know for me earthy things make me feel better. Even just sitting on the deck looking at the mountains. Even watering my plants helps me.

Simple things like a new pretty nightgown to put on after a shower relaxes me. All my stuff is gardenia. Love to smell like my grama used to. (c:

give yourself a hug for me. love,deb

__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Struggling...