Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Where is Peggy? In the past few weeks one son who had finally found sobriety of nearly a year was in a major car accident while driving to work. Side effects upon leaving the trauma unit consist of short term memory loss, chest pains, trouble sleeping, loss of his job. Other son just lost a dear friend t...

rosielee · rosielee

im an adult child of an alcohlic mother thankfully my dramas are over (apart from the occaisional bad phase) and mostly i tend to sympathise more with the people who are having to live with this disease on a daily basis- thats where it can get heavy going so anyways...as an adult child i am lucky enough t...

NovSun · NovSun

It's been awhile since I've been on the board and since my last post. I have missed my last two weekly F2F meetings, too. I did get the promotion at work and it has been a whirlwind! It's fantastic. And so demanding, but I love it. But I feel guilty about the F2F meeting. The last one I attended, I just p...

Woodenships · Woodenships

This is my first post to a message board I have been reading a very long time. August 9, 2011 I took my AH husband to the emergency room with a belly as big as a 8 month pregnant woman. His eyes were yellow, he has lost all his body weight, muscle mass, etc. He bascially stopped eating and would drink from t...

Pushka · Pushka

That is such an interesting statement and it can provoke powerful responses, especially if married, how can that not be my business that is my life partner!!? Tonight at our meeting someone shared something that I thought was amazing, what not my business means, it's not rude or meant in that way, my...

maresie · maresie

I have been feeling pretty lonely lately. I thought I would dabble in dating! I've gone back and forth on it. One minute I think I am too needy and next I think why not. I've also been feeling kind of torn. Setting limits and bottom lines is hard stuff. After all I feel like I owe the world for being alive....

youfoundme · youfoundme

In alanon we are taught about advice giving and trying to orchestrate other people's lives. It is said that to do that takes away from ourselves and our self-focus. March 25th in Courage to Change really struck me today. The line "to listen, not just with my ears, but also with my heart...&quo...

kris10 · kris10

New to this.. First post. I'm really wondering if one can truely "turn a cheek" to all this and get better?? Or is that just keeping our feelings inside until we blow up??? Cuz most of the time lately this is how I feel.. Please remember I just started with this (step one and two)..... Does it g...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am kind of anxious about chairing the meeting tonight at an out-of-town meeting--I have been there many times but have never chaired this meeting. It is a great meeting whether there are many or few. Maybe because summer is ending, there will be a good crowd. I am not nervous about chairing the meetin...

Doozy · Doozy

Well, earlier this week I decided to turn down a job offer. I wrestled with it and decided I didn't want to move right now. Partially, this is because of my recovery work and I don't want to get derailed when I'm making so much progress. It's too much stress right now. So... I wrestled and decided to turn it...

nyc018 · nyc018

Question how to handle something for those of you who've ever separated from your A. My AH is in inpatient rehab now after several hospitalizations and being unable to stay sober enough for outpatient, and going on a bender with his own mother (who'd been sober 22 years). He hasn't lived with me sinc...

Debilyn · Debilyn

ok I am venting, I know better than what I am saying!! Just spitting out my imperfect me! RRRRRR son's fb is gone. HUH? He calls to check in. Hey what happened to your fb. Oh he says it is causing too many problems. HUH? His not wife cept on paper is accusing him of cheating and all that bolony. My son has very...

Pushka · Pushka

Wow I had more steam in my engine than I thought .. LOL. I have rearranged the computer area, which cleared out a ton of clutter. I'm still going through it just taking a quick break. I'm going to pay for this tomorrow .. gak .. oh well, I"m hoping for just some sore muscles. I'm not sure I like the s...

scholarlydragon · scholarlydragon

I am 28 years old and have an alcoholic mother. In the last year, with the help of God, my boyfriend, and his family I have finally begun to uncover the scars from mental and emotional abuse as I was growing up and deal with them properly. As a survival mechanism, I clamped down on all the anger and resentm...

janetteaa · janetteaa

Hi, I'm new to Al Anon, but not new to AA. I'm trying to decide whether to stay and work on me while continuing my marriage with my AH, or if I need to leave to be able to finish my work. Going to just let it all out...and hope for the best here. Been married for 25 years and he is the love of my life. However the l...

Doozy · Doozy

Well, I haven't posted in a bit because I've been out of town. I'm back now and have a couple things to put out there. I'm really hoping to get to a meeting or meetings this week because I really need the support. I joined Alanon and this group primarily because of my pain at the end of a 3-yr relationship wit...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Just a few of my favorites I wanted to share. Enjoy!There is so much satisifaction in work well done; praise is sweet, but there can be no happiness equal to the joy of finding a heart that truly understands - Victor RobinsonMay God give you eyes to see the beauty only the heart can understand unknown...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Tonight Ive been messing with my latest experiment. This morning I was doing something that made me start wondering why I couldnt make some kind of concentrated coffee thing that you just add a few tablespoons of the concentrate to a cup of hot liquid to make coffee that tastes fresh from the pot. So, af...

Debilyn · Debilyn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=B8ISzf2pryI

Debilyn · Debilyn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=B8ISzf2pryI

bellaellaella · bellaellaella

I asked my husband to leave today... he has had a binge drinking problem since i met him. After 3 years i fanally had enough today and asked him to leave. He manages to stay dry for six weeks at a time and then the seventh week is hell. Thing is i miss him already and now he's angry with me for making him leave hi...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Hi everyone. Question for you. I read over and over again about not engaging with our addicts. We can't control whether they are using or not. Time and time again I read that when people have seen or know their addict is using they walk away, don't react, etc. But does that show the addict we "c...

Bluefin · Bluefin

My daughter is married to an addict, for years she thought he was bi polar and he was being treated for that by a doctor. He wanted her to keep that a secret and she believed that he had his right to privacy so for years our family saw strange behavior but got no answers, he abused her but she didn't tell anyo...

Pushka · Pushka

Well, .. my AH has a history of doing things that affect the family with no regard of the big picture. The truck .. LOL .. that has been a theme and I'm really have got to get myself into some kind of dark comedy writing course or something. Off topic one of my girlfriends who rocks in ways I can't begin to de...

Pushka · Pushka

My avatar is what I did for myself this weekend. I happened to the grocery store and they were selling 1 dozen roses for 1$. They are on their last legs they were so pretty I picked up 2$ worth. I'm sooo glad I did they look so pretty on my kitchen table (clean kitchen table). It has been nice to just enjoy...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I've had a rough couple of days. Feeling a lot of emotions. After all of these months, it is still hard for me to pick up the phone and call someone. I was sitting outside today, tears flowing, beginning to drown in my own self-pity, trying to grab some serenity and failing miserably. Then, I remembered...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

With all the bad things that are happening in the world today, I feel so blessed to live where I do w/ the people I live with. Not to seem callous or anything to any of you who are suffering right now, but I am happy & content where I am. Sunday is a very important day to so many--especially to the survivor...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys I have been doing well I think. Handing it over, not taking it personally, not reacting. Him noticing the change in me etc. I have been laughing and smiling again at times I even felt calm. Yesterday my husband asked me to go fishing with him today. IN the past we have talked and I 'accept' that h...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, My ABF has been back out there for over two months after being sober for 9 months its his journey and i do believe he will get back into programme he is already talking about it. I have told him I want no contact that we both need to sort ourselves out. I have not ruled out a relationship in the f...

ineedhelpnow · ineedhelpnow

How do you know when the sponsor you signed up with is actually not working out? I've heard people in groups say that they didn't like what their sponsor told them and they stuck it out. My sponsor points out my flaws but she's sick too so how is a sponsor credible? She'll ask my questions and then halfway...

ineedhelpnow · ineedhelpnow

Hello: I posted a question earlier about how to determine if your sponsor is helping you or hurting you. Now I need to know how to best deal with running into her in future meetings. We go to the same meeting one day a week and I will not stop going to that meeting. She has been in the program for many,, ma...

maresie · maresie

There are times most days when I would give a lot to be away from the addicts I live with and have to deal with. Watching them progress in their disease from whatever vantage point is not pretty. These days however I do have boundaries. I do have perspective. I do have self preservation. I didn't have t...

shimo · shimo

I have a Dr.'s appointment Monday a.m. and it is not certain whether I will be able to return home in time to chair the meeting. Hoping someone will be able step up and chair for me. Thanks.

hmiller6 · hmiller6

Hi. I don't know anything about alanon. It was suggested I go to a mtg by my therapist, but I work full time and have a 6 yr old daughter so it is hard to find the time. So I thought maybe I could give this a try. My mother was an alcholic, an abusive one and she died when I was 15. I was in a bad marriage from 19-27. I...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Mac had to go up a side as my Newfyx was up there about to come down an impossible side of a cliff! At first he stood below waiting to catch her. He has NO idea how heavy she is! mac is watching me take the pic as I precariously am on the side of a huge slopping rock. sauvy is next to him and his dog is right by his han...

KLotus · KLotus

Two nights ago, my baby was having trouble sleeping. We had a late night. Yesterday evening I was tired (not hungry, not lonely) and the baby was having trouble with bedtime - this is frustrating (as I'm sure many parents can attest to) because it wasn't clear what the issue is, so the mommy and the ACO...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, I am leaving my RA tomorrow. I'm going out town and will be gone for 9 days. Pray that his friends come over and help him get out, because I think that is the best of bad options. It's been such a roller coaster lately - you know, the fluctuations between awesome real guy and crazy guy. W...

Jennifer · Jennifer

A few days ago my moostiff developed a limp, his back leg was weak. I kept him on an easy schedule and everything seemed to be going well while we waited for the vet appointment today. Last night his leg swelled to an amazing size and his lymph nodes were hugely swollen. We went to the furry ones ER where we e...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Had a good run for about a month, and then the evil twin showed up. I knew as soon as I got home from work that my AH was on a rant. Verbal jabs hidden under the guise of 'just kidding', trying to get me to respond to negative comments meant to start an argument. I did well in simply not responding, went about m...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I asked my husband if he had seen anything different in me the past few weeks. he said I seemed less stressed with...then trailed off his voice. I said less stressed with what? "well.. with me smoking and stuff, you seem to have accepted it" I was shocked he said that and my immediate response...

maresie · maresie

Recently I've met two men who are really struggling in their lives. One contemplating divorce and the other a former co worker. Normally I would see it as my civic duty to help and fix them. Right now I'm just aware of how lost both of them seem. Where did I ever get the idea I could be a sign post for peop...

Ruby · Ruby

Hello! not sure if this board is active, but I need some help on step 4. Thanks!

PrincessPeriwinkle · PrincessPeriwinkle

My son is taking on the characteristics of an alcoholic without the alcohol. He has been married six years, and the last two years has been with a full-blown alconolic. She has spent two stints in rehab, leaving both times before the end of the program, and is now supposedly going into rehab a third ti...

MDK · MDK

Things have been really tense lately at home. My husband is out of work and it has put a little stress on me. He has been on a binge and is starting come off of it. It concerns me and when he comes off of his binge then I can confront him in a non confrontational way. I had slipped back a little bit. Not sleeping a...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... I have been Read Read Reading Here of Late and I have to say it has opened new Doors... I have been Reading the Story of Lois W.(One of the Founders of Al-Anon) . It is an Amazing story of her Life with Bill W. ... I Love to hear Quotes "From Her" and in her Quote/statements or comments she m...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

On the 13 September, my husband and I fly out to my family of origin for holidays. I am most 'concerned' about the time with my sister. My sister is 10 years older than me and is far worse than me when it comes to emotional manipulation. Cutting a long story short, she is an amphetamine addict who says she is...

kitty · kitty

When I landed in program I thought I had absolutely no choices. I began to realize that every single thought I entertained, every reaction, feeling -- they were all choices of mine to make. I saw that if I did X and was left feeling Y (heh, "why") then that was very bad for me and fed my incredi...

CUrbs83 · CUrbs83

Wednesdays are hard...they're my day off and I have time to think. They're also the days I have individual counseling. I'm having a hard time learning how to detach. Finding out that my alcoholic bf whom I have been with for a year and a half, 5 months sober, cheated on me last Christmas, you'd think I...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Ok so here's the story: Yesterday I read that great page in ODAAT for Sept. 6th. I gained a new perspective from that. I was able to hold onto it all day. Spoke with my sponsor and another Alanon friend through texts and messages. I am glad I read that page because I may not have had such an easy time las...

rosielee · rosielee

ive got about 40 years worth of venting to do, so please be aware my mum probably isnt as bad as I make out as i am focussing on her faults and BPD at the moment- she s a generous caring individual who is geneuinely sick anyway--- like i said- i do need to vent- she has been sober for last 20 years- but to be hone...

MrsHennepope · MrsHennepope

I had a good couple weeks with my AH.I allowed him to do his thing,with no nagging,while I tried to take care of me.We were enjoying each others company alot.....till today. I had to go to the city to take care of some errands and he stayed at home.When I was at the cash paying for some items I heard my cell r...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am handing over all my frustrations to my HP, who can better handle my worries than I. I am turning off the computer and taking a looong hoooot soak in the tub and won't be back for a looong time! I am working on relaxation and self care tonight and am going to embrace it fully! I hope everyone is doing well...

stephaniej · stephaniej

We finally had our internet access set up last week; it was tough going a month without home-based internet access, but I survived. I am struggling mightily right now. Losing my job has left me directionless. I had been doing so well detaching from my AH, but over the past month I have backslid trem...

KLotus · KLotus

Today's "Courage to Change" addressed priorities, and daily focus. I find it interesting that I was thinking about this very thing this morning. I want to be able to function, perhaps someday be happy in my own life. I had another appmt with employee services. The counselor there has...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I am not going to be able to make it to my Alanon home meeting on time tonight due to another obligation. There is an open AA meeting near my home that starts an hour later, so I would be able to make it there in time. I am interested in seeing what it's like on the "other side of the pond" and hoping t...

mgh · mgh

my husband has been sober for 10 years and i have just discovered that he is acting out sexually he blames me for being distant and removed since the birth of my grandchildren can my behavior lead to his acting out

pinkchip · pinkchip

While I am an alcoholic, there is so much to this alanon program that keeps me coming back to the boards. I do need to learn to detach and stop controlling others. I need to learn that I am powerless over people. I need to stop being controlling, nagging, and bitter. I need to turn the focus on me. Now t...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi Everyone, I have been posting over the past two months how my ABF had slipped after 9 months sober having been in rehab for 6 and a dry house for 3. I just got myself out of the way and he moved in with his sister. I have tried to work on myself doing ore meetings etc. He text me last night saying he is going...

maresie · maresie

Today I had an issue at work which I had once before in April of this year. I am not feeling too well. I am doing better than I was but I still feel pretty pushed up against a brick wall. I immediately went into panic, over reaction and then catastophe and of course I went into feeling upset, annoyed, isola...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI I often feel like I say all bad things about my husband. I wanted to say some good things about him and put some positive vibes out there. He is a very good man in my opinion. He works hard and brings in the paychecks every week, as do I. He is very complimentary on my skills to do the budget and give us a goo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Cluttered mind syndrom (Preview) Where is Peggy? In the past few weeks one son who had finally found sobriety of nearly a year was in a major car accident while driving to work. Side effects upon leaving the trauma unit consist of short term memory loss, chest pains, trouble sleeping, loss of his job. Other son just lost a dear friend t...	Peggy7	8	766	Sep 14, 2011 by Debilyn
	self obessed "self gratification" conversation (Preview) im an adult child of an alcohlic mother thankfully my dramas are over (apart from the occaisional bad phase) and mostly i tend to sympathise more with the people who are having to live with this disease on a daily basis- thats where it can get heavy going so anyways...as an adult child i am lucky enough t...	rosielee	11	830	Sep 14, 2011 by rosielee
	Been Awhile (Preview) It's been awhile since I've been on the board and since my last post. I have missed my last two weekly F2F meetings, too. I did get the promotion at work and it has been a whirlwind! It's fantastic. And so demanding, but I love it. But I feel guilty about the F2F meeting. The last one I attended, I just p...	NovSun	5	505	Sep 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	AH diagnosed with Cirrhosis (Preview) This is my first post to a message board I have been reading a very long time. August 9, 2011 I took my AH husband to the emergency room with a belly as big as a 8 month pregnant woman. His eyes were yellow, he has lost all his body weight, muscle mass, etc. He bascially stopped eating and would drink from t...	Woodenships	10	790	Sep 14, 2011 by Woodenships
	Not my business ... (Preview) That is such an interesting statement and it can provoke powerful responses, especially if married, how can that not be my business that is my life partner!!? Tonight at our meeting someone shared something that I thought was amazing, what not my business means, it's not rude or meant in that way, my...	Pushka	5	720	Sep 14, 2011 by Jozie
	light at the end of the tunnel (Preview) I have been feeling pretty lonely lately. I thought I would dabble in dating! I've gone back and forth on it. One minute I think I am too needy and next I think why not. I've also been feeling kind of torn. Setting limits and bottom lines is hard stuff. After all I feel like I owe the world for being alive....	maresie	4	445	Sep 14, 2011 by maresie
	Self-focus (Preview) In alanon we are taught about advice giving and trying to orchestrate other people's lives. It is said that to do that takes away from ourselves and our self-focus. March 25th in Courage to Change really struck me today. The line "to listen, not just with my ears, but also with my heart...&quo...	youfoundme	9	669	Sep 14, 2011 by youfoundme
	Can I really get better while still in the same house?? (Preview) New to this.. First post. I'm really wondering if one can truely "turn a cheek" to all this and get better?? Or is that just keeping our feelings inside until we blow up??? Cuz most of the time lately this is how I feel.. Please remember I just started with this (step one and two)..... Does it g...	kris10	16	760	Sep 14, 2011 by kris10
	chairing the meeting tonight (Preview) I am kind of anxious about chairing the meeting tonight at an out-of-town meeting--I have been there many times but have never chaired this meeting. It is a great meeting whether there are many or few. Maybe because summer is ending, there will be a good crowd. I am not nervous about chairing the meetin...	Hoot Nanny	4	811	Sep 14, 2011 by Pushka
	Closes a door and opens a window... (Preview) Well, earlier this week I decided to turn down a job offer. I wrestled with it and decided I didn't want to move right now. Partially, this is because of my recovery work and I don't want to get derailed when I'm making so much progress. It's too much stress right now. So... I wrestled and decided to turn it...	Doozy	3	410	Sep 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	What to Say to AH (Preview) Question how to handle something for those of you who've ever separated from your A. My AH is in inpatient rehab now after several hospitalizations and being unable to stay sober enough for outpatient, and going on a bender with his own mother (who'd been sober 22 years). He hasn't lived with me sinc...	nyc018	9	830	Sep 14, 2011 by rosielee
	Even though I know why!!!! (Preview) ok I am venting, I know better than what I am saying!! Just spitting out my imperfect me! RRRRRR son's fb is gone. HUH? He calls to check in. Hey what happened to your fb. Oh he says it is causing too many problems. HUH? His not wife cept on paper is accusing him of cheating and all that bolony. My son has very...	Debilyn	3	568	Sep 14, 2011 by rosielee
	Productive :) (Preview) Wow I had more steam in my engine than I thought .. LOL. I have rearranged the computer area, which cleared out a ton of clutter. I'm still going through it just taking a quick break. I'm going to pay for this tomorrow .. gak .. oh well, I"m hoping for just some sore muscles. I'm not sure I like the s...	Pushka	11	684	Sep 13, 2011 by Pushka
	Trying to learn how to heal (Preview) I am 28 years old and have an alcoholic mother. In the last year, with the help of God, my boyfriend, and his family I have finally begun to uncover the scars from mental and emotional abuse as I was growing up and deal with them properly. As a survival mechanism, I clamped down on all the anger and resentm...	scholarlydragon	7	527	Sep 13, 2011 by Pushka
	Do I stay or do I go now? (Preview) Hi, I'm new to Al Anon, but not new to AA. I'm trying to decide whether to stay and work on me while continuing my marriage with my AH, or if I need to leave to be able to finish my work. Going to just let it all out...and hope for the best here. Been married for 25 years and he is the love of my life. However the l...	janetteaa	11	829	Sep 13, 2011 by Pushka
	Light at the end of this tunnel?? (Preview) Well, I haven't posted in a bit because I've been out of town. I'm back now and have a couple things to put out there. I'm really hoping to get to a meeting or meetings this week because I really need the support. I joined Alanon and this group primarily because of my pain at the end of a 3-yr relationship wit...	Doozy	8	587	Sep 13, 2011 by Pushka
	Quotes (Preview) Just a few of my favorites I wanted to share. Enjoy!There is so much satisifaction in work well done; praise is sweet, but there can be no happiness equal to the joy of finding a heart that truly understands - Victor RobinsonMay God give you eyes to see the beauty only the heart can understand unknown...	tommyecat	5	665	Sep 13, 2011 by Doozy
	A look at my weird (Preview) Tonight Ive been messing with my latest experiment. This morning I was doing something that made me start wondering why I couldnt make some kind of concentrated coffee thing that you just add a few tablespoons of the concentrate to a cup of hot liquid to make coffee that tastes fresh from the pot. So, af...	likemyheart	9	592	Sep 13, 2011 by NovSun
	oops! for Hannah (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=B8ISzf2pryI	Debilyn	0	397	Sep 13, 2011 by Debilyn
	(Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=B8ISzf2pryI	Debilyn	0	459	Sep 13, 2011 by Debilyn
	I aksed him to go. Now he's angry and i'm devasted (Preview) I asked my husband to leave today... he has had a binge drinking problem since i met him. After 3 years i fanally had enough today and asked him to leave. He manages to stay dry for six weeks at a time and then the seventh week is hell. Thing is i miss him already and now he's angry with me for making him leave hi...	bellaellaella	10	808	Sep 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	Not reacting = a blind eye? (Preview) Hi everyone. Question for you. I read over and over again about not engaging with our addicts. We can't control whether they are using or not. Time and time again I read that when people have seen or know their addict is using they walk away, don't react, etc. But does that show the addict we "c...	ELEKTRAWMN	13	796	Sep 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	How do I quit feeling (Preview) My daughter is married to an addict, for years she thought he was bi polar and he was being treated for that by a doctor. He wanted her to keep that a secret and she believed that he had his right to privacy so for years our family saw strange behavior but got no answers, he abused her but she didn't tell anyo...	Bluefin	9	925	Sep 12, 2011 by Bluefin
	Do I or Don't I .. (Preview) Well, .. my AH has a history of doing things that affect the family with no regard of the big picture. The truck .. LOL .. that has been a theme and I'm really have got to get myself into some kind of dark comedy writing course or something. Off topic one of my girlfriends who rocks in ways I can't begin to de...	Pushka	5	769	Sep 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	Something for myself (Preview) My avatar is what I did for myself this weekend. I happened to the grocery store and they were selling 1 dozen roses for 1$. They are on their last legs they were so pretty I picked up 2$ worth. I'm sooo glad I did they look so pretty on my kitchen table (clean kitchen table). It has been nice to just enjoy...	Pushka	6	488	Sep 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	I am thankful for my sponsor (Preview) I've had a rough couple of days. Feeling a lot of emotions. After all of these months, it is still hard for me to pick up the phone and call someone. I was sitting outside today, tears flowing, beginning to drown in my own self-pity, trying to grab some serenity and failing miserably. Then, I remembered...	Very Very Tired	6	417	Sep 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	just another day in PARADISE! (Preview) With all the bad things that are happening in the world today, I feel so blessed to live where I do w/ the people I live with. Not to seem callous or anything to any of you who are suffering right now, but I am happy & content where I am. Sunday is a very important day to so many--especially to the survivor...	Hoot Nanny	7	511	Sep 12, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	here we go again (Preview) Hi guys I have been doing well I think. Handing it over, not taking it personally, not reacting. Him noticing the change in me etc. I have been laughing and smiling again at times I even felt calm. Yesterday my husband asked me to go fishing with him today. IN the past we have talked and I 'accept' that h...	Lindaoakford	16	716	Sep 12, 2011 by rosielee
	strength (Preview) Hi everyone, My ABF has been back out there for over two months after being sober for 9 months its his journey and i do believe he will get back into programme he is already talking about it. I have told him I want no contact that we both need to sort ourselves out. I have not ruled out a relationship in the f...	Tracy	6	581	Sep 12, 2011 by Debilyn
	Sponsor Conflict - How do you know... (Preview) How do you know when the sponsor you signed up with is actually not working out? I've heard people in groups say that they didn't like what their sponsor told them and they stuck it out. My sponsor points out my flaws but she's sick too so how is a sponsor credible? She'll ask my questions and then halfway...	ineedhelpnow	6	1198	Sep 12, 2011 by maresie
	Ex sponsor in same meeting...the aftermath (Preview) Hello: I posted a question earlier about how to determine if your sponsor is helping you or hurting you. Now I need to know how to best deal with running into her in future meetings. We go to the same meeting one day a week and I will not stop going to that meeting. She has been in the program for many,, ma...	ineedhelpnow	10	921	Sep 12, 2011 by maresie
	gratitude (Preview) There are times most days when I would give a lot to be away from the addicts I live with and have to deal with. Watching them progress in their disease from whatever vantage point is not pretty. These days however I do have boundaries. I do have perspective. I do have self preservation. I didn't have t...	maresie	7	1020	Sep 12, 2011 by hotrod
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING - SEPT 12 (Preview) I have a Dr.'s appointment Monday a.m. and it is not certain whether I will be able to return home in time to chair the meeting. Hoping someone will be able step up and chair for me. Thanks.	shimo	0	268	Sep 11, 2011 by shimo
	Brande new to Al-Anon (Preview) Hi. I don't know anything about alanon. It was suggested I go to a mtg by my therapist, but I work full time and have a 6 yr old daughter so it is hard to find the time. So I thought maybe I could give this a try. My mother was an alcholic, an abusive one and she died when I was 15. I was in a bad marriage from 19-27. I...	hmiller6	10	637	Sep 11, 2011 by maresie
	Eden's River pictures (Preview) Mac had to go up a side as my Newfyx was up there about to come down an impossible side of a cliff! At first he stood below waiting to catch her. He has NO idea how heavy she is! mac is watching me take the pic as I precariously am on the side of a huge slopping rock. sauvy is next to him and his dog is right by his han...	Debilyn	10	594	Sep 11, 2011 by Debilyn
	Last night (Preview) Two nights ago, my baby was having trouble sleeping. We had a late night. Yesterday evening I was tired (not hungry, not lonely) and the baby was having trouble with bedtime - this is frustrating (as I'm sure many parents can attest to) because it wasn't clear what the issue is, so the mommy and the ACO...	KLotus	14	719	Sep 11, 2011 by Pushka
	Leaving him tomorrow (Preview) Hey everybody, I am leaving my RA tomorrow. I'm going out town and will be gone for 9 days. Pray that his friends come over and help him get out, because I think that is the best of bad options. It's been such a roller coaster lately - you know, the fluctuations between awesome real guy and crazy guy. W...	rara avis	17	810	Sep 10, 2011 by rara avis
	Prayers please (Preview) A few days ago my moostiff developed a limp, his back leg was weak. I kept him on an easy schedule and everything seemed to be going well while we waited for the vet appointment today. Last night his leg swelled to an amazing size and his lymph nodes were hugely swollen. We went to the furry ones ER where we e...	Jennifer	14	768	Sep 10, 2011 by Jennifer
	A Mirror Into Your Soul (Preview) Had a good run for about a month, and then the evil twin showed up. I knew as soon as I got home from work that my AH was on a rant. Verbal jabs hidden under the guise of 'just kidding', trying to get me to respond to negative comments meant to start an argument. I did well in simply not responding, went about m...	surfgirl123	6	579	Sep 9, 2011 by Iamgood
	my change in attitude (Preview) I asked my husband if he had seen anything different in me the past few weeks. he said I seemed less stressed with...then trailed off his voice. I said less stressed with what? "well.. with me smoking and stuff, you seem to have accepted it" I was shocked he said that and my immediate response...	Lindaoakford	11	648	Sep 9, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	giving up fixing others (Preview) Recently I've met two men who are really struggling in their lives. One contemplating divorce and the other a former co worker. Normally I would see it as my civic duty to help and fix them. Right now I'm just aware of how lost both of them seem. Where did I ever get the idea I could be a sign post for peop...	maresie	8	779	Sep 9, 2011 by maresie
	Help! (closed) (Preview) Hello! not sure if this board is active, but I need some help on step 4. Thanks!	Ruby	1	519	Sep 9, 2011 by canadianguy
	How to respons to my son (Preview) My son is taking on the characteristics of an alcoholic without the alcohol. He has been married six years, and the last two years has been with a full-blown alconolic. She has spent two stints in rehab, leaving both times before the end of the program, and is now supposedly going into rehab a third ti...	PrincessPeriwinkle	10	542	Sep 9, 2011 by PrincessPeriwinkle
	I'm BAAAAACK!!! :) (Preview) Things have been really tense lately at home. My husband is out of work and it has put a little stress on me. He has been on a binge and is starting come off of it. It concerns me and when he comes off of his binge then I can confront him in a non confrontational way. I had slipped back a little bit. Not sleeping a...	MDK	5	572	Sep 9, 2011 by MDK
	Gettin Help from those b4 Me :) (Preview) Welp... I have been Read Read Reading Here of Late and I have to say it has opened new Doors... I have been Reading the Story of Lois W.(One of the Founders of Al-Anon) . It is an Amazing story of her Life with Bill W. ... I Love to hear Quotes "From Her" and in her Quote/statements or comments she m...	Jozie	6	688	Sep 9, 2011 by youfoundme
	visit to my Family of Origin coming up (Preview) On the 13 September, my husband and I fly out to my family of origin for holidays. I am most 'concerned' about the time with my sister. My sister is 10 years older than me and is far worse than me when it comes to emotional manipulation. Cutting a long story short, she is an amphetamine addict who says she is...	Lindaoakford	8	665	Sep 9, 2011 by Debilyn
	Choices (Preview) When I landed in program I thought I had absolutely no choices. I began to realize that every single thought I entertained, every reaction, feeling -- they were all choices of mine to make. I saw that if I did X and was left feeling Y (heh, "why") then that was very bad for me and fed my incredi...	kitty	12	1157	Sep 9, 2011 by Christy
	Feeling Trapped (Preview) Wednesdays are hard...they're my day off and I have time to think. They're also the days I have individual counseling. I'm having a hard time learning how to detach. Finding out that my alcoholic bf whom I have been with for a year and a half, 5 months sober, cheated on me last Christmas, you'd think I...	CUrbs83	13	778	Sep 8, 2011 by pinkchip
	On not reacting and other such things (Preview) Ok so here's the story: Yesterday I read that great page in ODAAT for Sept. 6th. I gained a new perspective from that. I was able to hold onto it all day. Spoke with my sponsor and another Alanon friend through texts and messages. I am glad I read that page because I may not have had such an easy time las...	youfoundme	17	706	Sep 8, 2011 by maresie
	adult with a mum with BPD (and a sober alcoholic) (Preview) ive got about 40 years worth of venting to do, so please be aware my mum probably isnt as bad as I make out as i am focussing on her faults and BPD at the moment- she s a generous caring individual who is geneuinely sick anyway--- like i said- i do need to vent- she has been sober for last 20 years- but to be hone...	rosielee	6	1570	Sep 8, 2011 by rosielee
	Sober=crabby!!! (Preview) I had a good couple weeks with my AH.I allowed him to do his thing,with no nagging,while I tried to take care of me.We were enjoying each others company alot.....till today. I had to go to the city to take care of some errands and he stayed at home.When I was at the cash paying for some items I heard my cell r...	MrsHennepope	17	954	Sep 8, 2011 by MrsHennepope
	I hardly ever do this! (Preview) I am handing over all my frustrations to my HP, who can better handle my worries than I. I am turning off the computer and taking a looong hoooot soak in the tub and won't be back for a looong time! I am working on relaxation and self care tonight and am going to embrace it fully! I hope everyone is doing well...	Breakingfree	6	527	Sep 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Finally back online (Preview) We finally had our internet access set up last week; it was tough going a month without home-based internet access, but I survived. I am struggling mightily right now. Losing my job has left me directionless. I had been doing so well detaching from my AH, but over the past month I have backslid trem...	stephaniej	3	528	Sep 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Courage (Preview) Today's "Courage to Change" addressed priorities, and daily focus. I find it interesting that I was thinking about this very thing this morning. I want to be able to function, perhaps someday be happy in my own life. I had another appmt with employee services. The counselor there has...	KLotus	5	680	Sep 8, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Thinking of Visiting an Open AA Meeting for the First Time AA (Preview) I am not going to be able to make it to my Alanon home meeting on time tonight due to another obligation. There is an open AA meeting near my home that starts an hour later, so I would be able to make it there in time. I am interested in seeing what it's like on the "other side of the pond" and hoping t...	Green Eyes	10	8452	Sep 7, 2011 by Pushka
	alcoholic sobriety and other devient behavior (Preview) my husband has been sober for 10 years and i have just discovered that he is acting out sexually he blames me for being distant and removed since the birth of my grandchildren can my behavior lead to his acting out	mgh	6	596	Sep 7, 2011 by pinkchip
	Tools of Alanon (Preview) While I am an alcoholic, there is so much to this alanon program that keeps me coming back to the boards. I do need to learn to detach and stop controlling others. I need to learn that I am powerless over people. I need to stop being controlling, nagging, and bitter. I need to turn the focus on me. Now t...	pinkchip	6	564	Sep 7, 2011 by Pushka
	where from here (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have been posting over the past two months how my ABF had slipped after 9 months sober having been in rehab for 6 and a dry house for 3. I just got myself out of the way and he moved in with his sister. I have tried to work on myself doing ore meetings etc. He text me last night saying he is going...	Tracy	8	674	Sep 7, 2011 by Pushka
	ove reacting then catastrophizing (Preview) Today I had an issue at work which I had once before in April of this year. I am not feeling too well. I am doing better than I was but I still feel pretty pushed up against a brick wall. I immediately went into panic, over reaction and then catastophe and of course I went into feeling upset, annoyed, isola...	maresie	3	521	Sep 7, 2011 by hotrod
	good things (Preview) HI I often feel like I say all bad things about my husband. I wanted to say some good things about him and put some positive vibes out there. He is a very good man in my opinion. He works hard and brings in the paychecks every week, as do I. He is very complimentary on my skills to do the budget and give us a goo...	Lindaoakford	11	713	Sep 7, 2011 by Lindaoakford
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.