Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

bellaellaella · bellaellaella

I asked my husband to leave today... he has had a binge drinking problem since i met him. After 3 years i fanally had enough today and asked him to leave. He manages to stay dry for six weeks at a time and then the seventh week is hell. Thing is i miss him already and now he's angry with me for making him leave hi...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Hi everyone. Question for you. I read over and over again about not engaging with our addicts. We can't control whether they are using or not. Time and time again I read that when people have seen or know their addict is using they walk away, don't react, etc. But does that show the addict we "c...

Bluefin · Bluefin

My daughter is married to an addict, for years she thought he was bi polar and he was being treated for that by a doctor. He wanted her to keep that a secret and she believed that he had his right to privacy so for years our family saw strange behavior but got no answers, he abused her but she didn't tell anyo...

Pushka · Pushka

Well, .. my AH has a history of doing things that affect the family with no regard of the big picture. The truck .. LOL .. that has been a theme and I'm really have got to get myself into some kind of dark comedy writing course or something. Off topic one of my girlfriends who rocks in ways I can't begin to de...

Pushka · Pushka

My avatar is what I did for myself this weekend. I happened to the grocery store and they were selling 1 dozen roses for 1$. They are on their last legs they were so pretty I picked up 2$ worth. I'm sooo glad I did they look so pretty on my kitchen table (clean kitchen table). It has been nice to just enjoy...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I've had a rough couple of days. Feeling a lot of emotions. After all of these months, it is still hard for me to pick up the phone and call someone. I was sitting outside today, tears flowing, beginning to drown in my own self-pity, trying to grab some serenity and failing miserably. Then, I remembered...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

With all the bad things that are happening in the world today, I feel so blessed to live where I do w/ the people I live with. Not to seem callous or anything to any of you who are suffering right now, but I am happy & content where I am. Sunday is a very important day to so many--especially to the survivor...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys I have been doing well I think. Handing it over, not taking it personally, not reacting. Him noticing the change in me etc. I have been laughing and smiling again at times I even felt calm. Yesterday my husband asked me to go fishing with him today. IN the past we have talked and I 'accept' that h...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, My ABF has been back out there for over two months after being sober for 9 months its his journey and i do believe he will get back into programme he is already talking about it. I have told him I want no contact that we both need to sort ourselves out. I have not ruled out a relationship in the f...

ineedhelpnow · ineedhelpnow

How do you know when the sponsor you signed up with is actually not working out? I've heard people in groups say that they didn't like what their sponsor told them and they stuck it out. My sponsor points out my flaws but she's sick too so how is a sponsor credible? She'll ask my questions and then halfway...

ineedhelpnow · ineedhelpnow

Hello: I posted a question earlier about how to determine if your sponsor is helping you or hurting you. Now I need to know how to best deal with running into her in future meetings. We go to the same meeting one day a week and I will not stop going to that meeting. She has been in the program for many,, ma...

maresie · maresie

There are times most days when I would give a lot to be away from the addicts I live with and have to deal with. Watching them progress in their disease from whatever vantage point is not pretty. These days however I do have boundaries. I do have perspective. I do have self preservation. I didn't have t...

shimo · shimo

I have a Dr.'s appointment Monday a.m. and it is not certain whether I will be able to return home in time to chair the meeting. Hoping someone will be able step up and chair for me. Thanks.

hmiller6 · hmiller6

Hi. I don't know anything about alanon. It was suggested I go to a mtg by my therapist, but I work full time and have a 6 yr old daughter so it is hard to find the time. So I thought maybe I could give this a try. My mother was an alcholic, an abusive one and she died when I was 15. I was in a bad marriage from 19-27. I...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Mac had to go up a side as my Newfyx was up there about to come down an impossible side of a cliff! At first he stood below waiting to catch her. He has NO idea how heavy she is! mac is watching me take the pic as I precariously am on the side of a huge slopping rock. sauvy is next to him and his dog is right by his han...

KLotus · KLotus

Two nights ago, my baby was having trouble sleeping. We had a late night. Yesterday evening I was tired (not hungry, not lonely) and the baby was having trouble with bedtime - this is frustrating (as I'm sure many parents can attest to) because it wasn't clear what the issue is, so the mommy and the ACO...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, I am leaving my RA tomorrow. I'm going out town and will be gone for 9 days. Pray that his friends come over and help him get out, because I think that is the best of bad options. It's been such a roller coaster lately - you know, the fluctuations between awesome real guy and crazy guy. W...

Jennifer · Jennifer

A few days ago my moostiff developed a limp, his back leg was weak. I kept him on an easy schedule and everything seemed to be going well while we waited for the vet appointment today. Last night his leg swelled to an amazing size and his lymph nodes were hugely swollen. We went to the furry ones ER where we e...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Had a good run for about a month, and then the evil twin showed up. I knew as soon as I got home from work that my AH was on a rant. Verbal jabs hidden under the guise of 'just kidding', trying to get me to respond to negative comments meant to start an argument. I did well in simply not responding, went about m...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I asked my husband if he had seen anything different in me the past few weeks. he said I seemed less stressed with...then trailed off his voice. I said less stressed with what? "well.. with me smoking and stuff, you seem to have accepted it" I was shocked he said that and my immediate response...

maresie · maresie

Recently I've met two men who are really struggling in their lives. One contemplating divorce and the other a former co worker. Normally I would see it as my civic duty to help and fix them. Right now I'm just aware of how lost both of them seem. Where did I ever get the idea I could be a sign post for peop...

Ruby · Ruby

Hello! not sure if this board is active, but I need some help on step 4. Thanks!

PrincessPeriwinkle · PrincessPeriwinkle

My son is taking on the characteristics of an alcoholic without the alcohol. He has been married six years, and the last two years has been with a full-blown alconolic. She has spent two stints in rehab, leaving both times before the end of the program, and is now supposedly going into rehab a third ti...

MDK · MDK

Things have been really tense lately at home. My husband is out of work and it has put a little stress on me. He has been on a binge and is starting come off of it. It concerns me and when he comes off of his binge then I can confront him in a non confrontational way. I had slipped back a little bit. Not sleeping a...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... I have been Read Read Reading Here of Late and I have to say it has opened new Doors... I have been Reading the Story of Lois W.(One of the Founders of Al-Anon) . It is an Amazing story of her Life with Bill W. ... I Love to hear Quotes "From Her" and in her Quote/statements or comments she m...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

On the 13 September, my husband and I fly out to my family of origin for holidays. I am most 'concerned' about the time with my sister. My sister is 10 years older than me and is far worse than me when it comes to emotional manipulation. Cutting a long story short, she is an amphetamine addict who says she is...

kitty · kitty

When I landed in program I thought I had absolutely no choices. I began to realize that every single thought I entertained, every reaction, feeling -- they were all choices of mine to make. I saw that if I did X and was left feeling Y (heh, "why") then that was very bad for me and fed my incredi...

CUrbs83 · CUrbs83

Wednesdays are hard...they're my day off and I have time to think. They're also the days I have individual counseling. I'm having a hard time learning how to detach. Finding out that my alcoholic bf whom I have been with for a year and a half, 5 months sober, cheated on me last Christmas, you'd think I...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Ok so here's the story: Yesterday I read that great page in ODAAT for Sept. 6th. I gained a new perspective from that. I was able to hold onto it all day. Spoke with my sponsor and another Alanon friend through texts and messages. I am glad I read that page because I may not have had such an easy time las...

rosielee · rosielee

ive got about 40 years worth of venting to do, so please be aware my mum probably isnt as bad as I make out as i am focussing on her faults and BPD at the moment- she s a generous caring individual who is geneuinely sick anyway--- like i said- i do need to vent- she has been sober for last 20 years- but to be hone...

MrsHennepope · MrsHennepope

I had a good couple weeks with my AH.I allowed him to do his thing,with no nagging,while I tried to take care of me.We were enjoying each others company alot.....till today. I had to go to the city to take care of some errands and he stayed at home.When I was at the cash paying for some items I heard my cell r...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am handing over all my frustrations to my HP, who can better handle my worries than I. I am turning off the computer and taking a looong hoooot soak in the tub and won't be back for a looong time! I am working on relaxation and self care tonight and am going to embrace it fully! I hope everyone is doing well...

stephaniej · stephaniej

We finally had our internet access set up last week; it was tough going a month without home-based internet access, but I survived. I am struggling mightily right now. Losing my job has left me directionless. I had been doing so well detaching from my AH, but over the past month I have backslid trem...

KLotus · KLotus

Today's "Courage to Change" addressed priorities, and daily focus. I find it interesting that I was thinking about this very thing this morning. I want to be able to function, perhaps someday be happy in my own life. I had another appmt with employee services. The counselor there has...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I am not going to be able to make it to my Alanon home meeting on time tonight due to another obligation. There is an open AA meeting near my home that starts an hour later, so I would be able to make it there in time. I am interested in seeing what it's like on the "other side of the pond" and hoping t...

mgh · mgh

my husband has been sober for 10 years and i have just discovered that he is acting out sexually he blames me for being distant and removed since the birth of my grandchildren can my behavior lead to his acting out

pinkchip · pinkchip

While I am an alcoholic, there is so much to this alanon program that keeps me coming back to the boards. I do need to learn to detach and stop controlling others. I need to learn that I am powerless over people. I need to stop being controlling, nagging, and bitter. I need to turn the focus on me. Now t...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi Everyone, I have been posting over the past two months how my ABF had slipped after 9 months sober having been in rehab for 6 and a dry house for 3. I just got myself out of the way and he moved in with his sister. I have tried to work on myself doing ore meetings etc. He text me last night saying he is going...

maresie · maresie

Today I had an issue at work which I had once before in April of this year. I am not feeling too well. I am doing better than I was but I still feel pretty pushed up against a brick wall. I immediately went into panic, over reaction and then catastophe and of course I went into feeling upset, annoyed, isola...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI I often feel like I say all bad things about my husband. I wanted to say some good things about him and put some positive vibes out there. He is a very good man in my opinion. He works hard and brings in the paychecks every week, as do I. He is very complimentary on my skills to do the budget and give us a goo...

winnie · winnie

i have a question that may seem a little unusual...ok, maybe it's just fear, but nonetheless i'm not sure how to approach this. i know f2f meetings would be good for me, however, i have a bit of a conflict of interest. in my line of work, i deal with many, many people in recovery (isn't there an old sayin...

winnie · winnie

i just feel horrible. i'm so angry at my ah that i find myself yelling at my kids...and they start school tomorrow! i don't want them to feel more anxious than they already may be feeling. they're so little...5 and 7. i feel so guilty. but sometimes i'm just screaming inside my head with the feelin...

Jennifer · Jennifer

In the morning I am going on my very first fourth date to have breakfast. That seems really strange considering I had a 6 year high school relationship, an 11 year marriage/relationship, and 2 other year or so relationships in my life. Being honest though each of those relationships never had fourth...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

After talking to my dh and doing some serious introspection, I have realized that I am out of control with fear and anxiety. I am placing expectations on him, I am holding him to MY standards and then getting mad when my standard gets broken, I am fearful of what may happen even though it hasn't. I have a...

Pushka · Pushka

I am so grateful for the support the board has provided during this time. Thank you for your prayers. It was peaceful, and she went because her body was tired and it was just time. Thank you again. P :)

youfoundme · youfoundme

"I will not interfere with the activities of the alcoholic, or watch over him, counsel him, or assume his responsibilities. He must have the same freedom to make his own decisions as I have, since he must suffer for them if they are wrong." And then: "Teach me to leave to others their...

pineapple · pineapple

A few months ago my a and I separated as much as possible while still living on the same property. He has his place and I have mine. We occasionally run into each other in the shared kitchen, or out on the patio but mostly he stays in his place and drinks. He offered to make dinner for both of us last night (he...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

After suffering for over 24 hrs. w/ a broken filling, I got it fixed on Friday! It was the back one on the bottom right. My tongue was scraping against it for all that time. I could barely talk & eating & drinking were almost out of the question! But, thanks to my God of my understanding it got fille...

kael1539 · kael1539

My AH is in AA and is currently 30 days out from his last relapse. He has tried to quit drinking for the past two years, had several relapses but is trying to stop drinking. My current problem is that he is very hateful and angry all the time. I saw him relaxed and happy for a couple days during an inpati...

on a rollercoaster · on a rollercoaster

Hi. I'm new here. I just went to an al-anon meeting for the first time last Thurs. It was nice and I think it will help me...but it might take me forever to feel better and try to heal form the harsh reality that I have an alcoholic husband. He has FINALLY admitted he has an issue with it, but still doesn't thi...

Eliza · Eliza

My husband has been sober for 5yrs and has always been angry and irritable. He refuses counseling or AA. Is there hope that he may change with working on recovery? Is this a symptom of the being a dry drunk? I welcome any feedback.

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, So sorry to bogart the forum, but it really is getting down to the wire. Some ESH would be really helpful. Anyone here have ESH on giving a final ultimatum? Basically, I am done. Done. I've planned to leave my boyfriend and tell him to move out this next weekend. My RA's best pal said I sh...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

So here it is .. my last night out of town with my primary alcoholic's family .. this truly has been Such a trip .. at this point i'm hoping to make it back on my way out of this town and safely back to my home town .. I made a decision to stay home from a family outting today and knew it would make the addicts a litt...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Really pleased to announce that we have a new Board Moderator, effective immediately..... Hotrod (Betty) is back from vacation, and has agreed to become a Moderator, and I am thrilled to have the help. She has been a valuable member of our family for a long time on MIP, and will be a valuable addi...

keiker · keiker

I don't even know where to start... I am so worried about my father. I am 33 years old and do not live with him.... In the last year or so he has become an alcoholic. It is so hard to believe it since before last year he hardly ever had a drink. His drink of choice is crown and 7. He has become emotionaly...

odalis · odalis

My AH and I had a wonderful day. We took our dog to the park, talked about things other than his problem, and went to eat ice cream with the kids. Yesterday he told me he had been hiding his rum but hasn't bought any in the past month. Good for him, I am really proud of him for that and told him so. Then he says he'...

tommyecat · tommyecat

The other night I was meeting with a sponsee whom I meet with weekly at a coffee shop to guide them through step 4. I was running a few minutes late and was anxious to get there. As I get closer to the place I see an open parking spot in front which is nothing short of a miracle. I was about to pull in when I no...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

One day left to go and then i return to my home state .. I have watched the primary alcoholic in my life flip his last switch .. i'm just too tired and angry to watch anymore but i'm not really angry and tired with him .. i'm angry and tired with myself .. the lies i've told myself to survive .. the ones like .. he...

nicjon · nicjon

I left my husband 3 years ago and in the past 19 months that we've been back together his drinking has escalated to alcoholism. He was an alcoholic before I met him but was sober for 7 years (he did relapse a few times in that time period but was always able to pull himself together and stop). Now he is drinki...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys I can't help but get my hopes up at the moment and enjoying the current 'good' feeling and I am tempering it with the reality of 'this too shall pass'. Yesterday, my husband went fishing with his mate who also smokes pot. I detached for the day. I didnt test in the hope that when he gets reception h...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I aksed him to go. Now he's angry and i'm devasted (Preview) I asked my husband to leave today... he has had a binge drinking problem since i met him. After 3 years i fanally had enough today and asked him to leave. He manages to stay dry for six weeks at a time and then the seventh week is hell. Thing is i miss him already and now he's angry with me for making him leave hi...	bellaellaella	10	766	Sep 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	Not reacting = a blind eye? (Preview) Hi everyone. Question for you. I read over and over again about not engaging with our addicts. We can't control whether they are using or not. Time and time again I read that when people have seen or know their addict is using they walk away, don't react, etc. But does that show the addict we "c...	ELEKTRAWMN	13	750	Sep 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	How do I quit feeling (Preview) My daughter is married to an addict, for years she thought he was bi polar and he was being treated for that by a doctor. He wanted her to keep that a secret and she believed that he had his right to privacy so for years our family saw strange behavior but got no answers, he abused her but she didn't tell anyo...	Bluefin	9	886	Sep 12, 2011 by Bluefin
	Do I or Don't I .. (Preview) Well, .. my AH has a history of doing things that affect the family with no regard of the big picture. The truck .. LOL .. that has been a theme and I'm really have got to get myself into some kind of dark comedy writing course or something. Off topic one of my girlfriends who rocks in ways I can't begin to de...	Pushka	5	726	Sep 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	Something for myself (Preview) My avatar is what I did for myself this weekend. I happened to the grocery store and they were selling 1 dozen roses for 1$. They are on their last legs they were so pretty I picked up 2$ worth. I'm sooo glad I did they look so pretty on my kitchen table (clean kitchen table). It has been nice to just enjoy...	Pushka	6	447	Sep 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	I am thankful for my sponsor (Preview) I've had a rough couple of days. Feeling a lot of emotions. After all of these months, it is still hard for me to pick up the phone and call someone. I was sitting outside today, tears flowing, beginning to drown in my own self-pity, trying to grab some serenity and failing miserably. Then, I remembered...	Very Very Tired	6	377	Sep 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	just another day in PARADISE! (Preview) With all the bad things that are happening in the world today, I feel so blessed to live where I do w/ the people I live with. Not to seem callous or anything to any of you who are suffering right now, but I am happy & content where I am. Sunday is a very important day to so many--especially to the survivor...	Hoot Nanny	7	470	Sep 12, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	here we go again (Preview) Hi guys I have been doing well I think. Handing it over, not taking it personally, not reacting. Him noticing the change in me etc. I have been laughing and smiling again at times I even felt calm. Yesterday my husband asked me to go fishing with him today. IN the past we have talked and I 'accept' that h...	Lindaoakford	16	673	Sep 12, 2011 by rosielee
	strength (Preview) Hi everyone, My ABF has been back out there for over two months after being sober for 9 months its his journey and i do believe he will get back into programme he is already talking about it. I have told him I want no contact that we both need to sort ourselves out. I have not ruled out a relationship in the f...	Tracy	6	542	Sep 12, 2011 by Debilyn
	Sponsor Conflict - How do you know... (Preview) How do you know when the sponsor you signed up with is actually not working out? I've heard people in groups say that they didn't like what their sponsor told them and they stuck it out. My sponsor points out my flaws but she's sick too so how is a sponsor credible? She'll ask my questions and then halfway...	ineedhelpnow	6	1121	Sep 12, 2011 by maresie
	Ex sponsor in same meeting...the aftermath (Preview) Hello: I posted a question earlier about how to determine if your sponsor is helping you or hurting you. Now I need to know how to best deal with running into her in future meetings. We go to the same meeting one day a week and I will not stop going to that meeting. She has been in the program for many,, ma...	ineedhelpnow	10	875	Sep 12, 2011 by maresie
	gratitude (Preview) There are times most days when I would give a lot to be away from the addicts I live with and have to deal with. Watching them progress in their disease from whatever vantage point is not pretty. These days however I do have boundaries. I do have perspective. I do have self preservation. I didn't have t...	maresie	7	977	Sep 12, 2011 by hotrod
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING - SEPT 12 (Preview) I have a Dr.'s appointment Monday a.m. and it is not certain whether I will be able to return home in time to chair the meeting. Hoping someone will be able step up and chair for me. Thanks.	shimo	0	229	Sep 11, 2011 by shimo
	Brande new to Al-Anon (Preview) Hi. I don't know anything about alanon. It was suggested I go to a mtg by my therapist, but I work full time and have a 6 yr old daughter so it is hard to find the time. So I thought maybe I could give this a try. My mother was an alcholic, an abusive one and she died when I was 15. I was in a bad marriage from 19-27. I...	hmiller6	10	593	Sep 11, 2011 by maresie
	Eden's River pictures (Preview) Mac had to go up a side as my Newfyx was up there about to come down an impossible side of a cliff! At first he stood below waiting to catch her. He has NO idea how heavy she is! mac is watching me take the pic as I precariously am on the side of a huge slopping rock. sauvy is next to him and his dog is right by his han...	Debilyn	10	551	Sep 11, 2011 by Debilyn
	Last night (Preview) Two nights ago, my baby was having trouble sleeping. We had a late night. Yesterday evening I was tired (not hungry, not lonely) and the baby was having trouble with bedtime - this is frustrating (as I'm sure many parents can attest to) because it wasn't clear what the issue is, so the mommy and the ACO...	KLotus	14	682	Sep 11, 2011 by Pushka
	Leaving him tomorrow (Preview) Hey everybody, I am leaving my RA tomorrow. I'm going out town and will be gone for 9 days. Pray that his friends come over and help him get out, because I think that is the best of bad options. It's been such a roller coaster lately - you know, the fluctuations between awesome real guy and crazy guy. W...	rara avis	17	770	Sep 10, 2011 by rara avis
	Prayers please (Preview) A few days ago my moostiff developed a limp, his back leg was weak. I kept him on an easy schedule and everything seemed to be going well while we waited for the vet appointment today. Last night his leg swelled to an amazing size and his lymph nodes were hugely swollen. We went to the furry ones ER where we e...	Jennifer	14	726	Sep 10, 2011 by Jennifer
	A Mirror Into Your Soul (Preview) Had a good run for about a month, and then the evil twin showed up. I knew as soon as I got home from work that my AH was on a rant. Verbal jabs hidden under the guise of 'just kidding', trying to get me to respond to negative comments meant to start an argument. I did well in simply not responding, went about m...	surfgirl123	6	537	Sep 9, 2011 by Iamgood
	my change in attitude (Preview) I asked my husband if he had seen anything different in me the past few weeks. he said I seemed less stressed with...then trailed off his voice. I said less stressed with what? "well.. with me smoking and stuff, you seem to have accepted it" I was shocked he said that and my immediate response...	Lindaoakford	11	607	Sep 9, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	giving up fixing others (Preview) Recently I've met two men who are really struggling in their lives. One contemplating divorce and the other a former co worker. Normally I would see it as my civic duty to help and fix them. Right now I'm just aware of how lost both of them seem. Where did I ever get the idea I could be a sign post for peop...	maresie	8	737	Sep 9, 2011 by maresie
	Help! (closed) (Preview) Hello! not sure if this board is active, but I need some help on step 4. Thanks!	Ruby	1	471	Sep 9, 2011 by canadianguy
	How to respons to my son (Preview) My son is taking on the characteristics of an alcoholic without the alcohol. He has been married six years, and the last two years has been with a full-blown alconolic. She has spent two stints in rehab, leaving both times before the end of the program, and is now supposedly going into rehab a third ti...	PrincessPeriwinkle	10	501	Sep 9, 2011 by PrincessPeriwinkle
	I'm BAAAAACK!!! :) (Preview) Things have been really tense lately at home. My husband is out of work and it has put a little stress on me. He has been on a binge and is starting come off of it. It concerns me and when he comes off of his binge then I can confront him in a non confrontational way. I had slipped back a little bit. Not sleeping a...	MDK	5	530	Sep 9, 2011 by MDK
	Gettin Help from those b4 Me :) (Preview) Welp... I have been Read Read Reading Here of Late and I have to say it has opened new Doors... I have been Reading the Story of Lois W.(One of the Founders of Al-Anon) . It is an Amazing story of her Life with Bill W. ... I Love to hear Quotes "From Her" and in her Quote/statements or comments she m...	Jozie	6	641	Sep 9, 2011 by youfoundme
	visit to my Family of Origin coming up (Preview) On the 13 September, my husband and I fly out to my family of origin for holidays. I am most 'concerned' about the time with my sister. My sister is 10 years older than me and is far worse than me when it comes to emotional manipulation. Cutting a long story short, she is an amphetamine addict who says she is...	Lindaoakford	8	625	Sep 9, 2011 by Debilyn
	Choices (Preview) When I landed in program I thought I had absolutely no choices. I began to realize that every single thought I entertained, every reaction, feeling -- they were all choices of mine to make. I saw that if I did X and was left feeling Y (heh, "why") then that was very bad for me and fed my incredi...	kitty	12	1110	Sep 9, 2011 by Christy
	Feeling Trapped (Preview) Wednesdays are hard...they're my day off and I have time to think. They're also the days I have individual counseling. I'm having a hard time learning how to detach. Finding out that my alcoholic bf whom I have been with for a year and a half, 5 months sober, cheated on me last Christmas, you'd think I...	CUrbs83	13	739	Sep 8, 2011 by pinkchip
	On not reacting and other such things (Preview) Ok so here's the story: Yesterday I read that great page in ODAAT for Sept. 6th. I gained a new perspective from that. I was able to hold onto it all day. Spoke with my sponsor and another Alanon friend through texts and messages. I am glad I read that page because I may not have had such an easy time las...	youfoundme	17	666	Sep 8, 2011 by maresie
	adult with a mum with BPD (and a sober alcoholic) (Preview) ive got about 40 years worth of venting to do, so please be aware my mum probably isnt as bad as I make out as i am focussing on her faults and BPD at the moment- she s a generous caring individual who is geneuinely sick anyway--- like i said- i do need to vent- she has been sober for last 20 years- but to be hone...	rosielee	6	1446	Sep 8, 2011 by rosielee
	Sober=crabby!!! (Preview) I had a good couple weeks with my AH.I allowed him to do his thing,with no nagging,while I tried to take care of me.We were enjoying each others company alot.....till today. I had to go to the city to take care of some errands and he stayed at home.When I was at the cash paying for some items I heard my cell r...	MrsHennepope	17	909	Sep 8, 2011 by MrsHennepope
	I hardly ever do this! (Preview) I am handing over all my frustrations to my HP, who can better handle my worries than I. I am turning off the computer and taking a looong hoooot soak in the tub and won't be back for a looong time! I am working on relaxation and self care tonight and am going to embrace it fully! I hope everyone is doing well...	Breakingfree	6	484	Sep 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Finally back online (Preview) We finally had our internet access set up last week; it was tough going a month without home-based internet access, but I survived. I am struggling mightily right now. Losing my job has left me directionless. I had been doing so well detaching from my AH, but over the past month I have backslid trem...	stephaniej	3	488	Sep 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Courage (Preview) Today's "Courage to Change" addressed priorities, and daily focus. I find it interesting that I was thinking about this very thing this morning. I want to be able to function, perhaps someday be happy in my own life. I had another appmt with employee services. The counselor there has...	KLotus	5	635	Sep 8, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Thinking of Visiting an Open AA Meeting for the First Time AA (Preview) I am not going to be able to make it to my Alanon home meeting on time tonight due to another obligation. There is an open AA meeting near my home that starts an hour later, so I would be able to make it there in time. I am interested in seeing what it's like on the "other side of the pond" and hoping t...	Green Eyes	10	7875	Sep 7, 2011 by Pushka
	alcoholic sobriety and other devient behavior (Preview) my husband has been sober for 10 years and i have just discovered that he is acting out sexually he blames me for being distant and removed since the birth of my grandchildren can my behavior lead to his acting out	mgh	6	557	Sep 7, 2011 by pinkchip
	Tools of Alanon (Preview) While I am an alcoholic, there is so much to this alanon program that keeps me coming back to the boards. I do need to learn to detach and stop controlling others. I need to learn that I am powerless over people. I need to stop being controlling, nagging, and bitter. I need to turn the focus on me. Now t...	pinkchip	6	523	Sep 7, 2011 by Pushka
	where from here (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have been posting over the past two months how my ABF had slipped after 9 months sober having been in rehab for 6 and a dry house for 3. I just got myself out of the way and he moved in with his sister. I have tried to work on myself doing ore meetings etc. He text me last night saying he is going...	Tracy	8	629	Sep 7, 2011 by Pushka
	ove reacting then catastrophizing (Preview) Today I had an issue at work which I had once before in April of this year. I am not feeling too well. I am doing better than I was but I still feel pretty pushed up against a brick wall. I immediately went into panic, over reaction and then catastophe and of course I went into feeling upset, annoyed, isola...	maresie	3	479	Sep 7, 2011 by hotrod
	good things (Preview) HI I often feel like I say all bad things about my husband. I wanted to say some good things about him and put some positive vibes out there. He is a very good man in my opinion. He works hard and brings in the paychecks every week, as do I. He is very complimentary on my skills to do the budget and give us a goo...	Lindaoakford	11	671	Sep 7, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	? on attending my first f2f al-anon (Preview) i have a question that may seem a little unusual...ok, maybe it's just fear, but nonetheless i'm not sure how to approach this. i know f2f meetings would be good for me, however, i have a bit of a conflict of interest. in my line of work, i deal with many, many people in recovery (isn't there an old sayin...	winnie	11	823	Sep 7, 2011 by Hot Chicka
	i don't even know who i am anymore! (Preview) i just feel horrible. i'm so angry at my ah that i find myself yelling at my kids...and they start school tomorrow! i don't want them to feel more anxious than they already may be feeling. they're so little...5 and 7. i feel so guilty. but sometimes i'm just screaming inside my head with the feelin...	winnie	11	739	Sep 7, 2011 by pinkchip
	My first ever fourth date (Preview) In the morning I am going on my very first fourth date to have breakfast. That seems really strange considering I had a 6 year high school relationship, an 11 year marriage/relationship, and 2 other year or so relationships in my life. Being honest though each of those relationships never had fourth...	Jennifer	4	754	Sep 7, 2011 by KLotus
	A lot of our problem is ME (Preview) After talking to my dh and doing some serious introspection, I have realized that I am out of control with fear and anxiety. I am placing expectations on him, I am holding him to MY standards and then getting mad when my standard gets broken, I am fearful of what may happen even though it hasn't. I have a...	ilovedogs	19	923	Sep 7, 2011 by pinkchip
	OT - Grandma passed (Preview) I am so grateful for the support the board has provided during this time. Thank you for your prayers. It was peaceful, and she went because her body was tired and it was just time. Thank you again. P :)	Pushka	10	590	Sep 7, 2011 by MrsHennepope
	Todays One Day at a Time.... (Preview) "I will not interfere with the activities of the alcoholic, or watch over him, counsel him, or assume his responsibilities. He must have the same freedom to make his own decisions as I have, since he must suffer for them if they are wrong." And then: "Teach me to leave to others their...	youfoundme	5	490	Sep 6, 2011 by rara avis
	expectations - my bad (Preview) A few months ago my a and I separated as much as possible while still living on the same property. He has his place and I have mine. We occasionally run into each other in the shared kitchen, or out on the patio but mostly he stays in his place and drinks. He offered to make dinner for both of us last night (he...	pineapple	15	615	Sep 6, 2011 by maresie
	life is good! (Preview) After suffering for over 24 hrs. w/ a broken filling, I got it fixed on Friday! It was the back one on the bottom right. My tongue was scraping against it for all that time. I could barely talk & eating & drinking were almost out of the question! But, thanks to my God of my understanding it got fille...	Hoot Nanny	2	566	Sep 6, 2011 by ilovedogs
	RAH hates the world and is driving me nuts (Preview) My AH is in AA and is currently 30 days out from his last relapse. He has tried to quit drinking for the past two years, had several relapses but is trying to stop drinking. My current problem is that he is very hateful and angry all the time. I saw him relaxed and happy for a couple days during an inpati...	kael1539	7	534	Sep 6, 2011 by rrib
	Please help! Advice needed and I need to vent. I feel crazy (Preview) Hi. I'm new here. I just went to an al-anon meeting for the first time last Thurs. It was nice and I think it will help me...but it might take me forever to feel better and try to heal form the harsh reality that I have an alcoholic husband. He has FINALLY admitted he has an issue with it, but still doesn't thi...	on a rollercoaster	9	861	Sep 6, 2011 by rrib
	Is Anger and Rudeness part of the Dry Drunk Syndrome? (Preview) My husband has been sober for 5yrs and has always been angry and irritable. He refuses counseling or AA. Is there hope that he may change with working on recovery? Is this a symptom of the being a dry drunk? I welcome any feedback.	Eliza	8	6570	Sep 6, 2011 by rrib
	ESH on final ultimatums? (Preview) Hey everybody, So sorry to bogart the forum, but it really is getting down to the wire. Some ESH would be really helpful. Anyone here have ESH on giving a final ultimatum? Basically, I am done. Done. I've planned to leave my boyfriend and tell him to move out this next weekend. My RA's best pal said I sh...	rara avis	11	714	Sep 6, 2011 by GailMichelle
	the levels of insanity .. (Preview) So here it is .. my last night out of town with my primary alcoholic's family .. this truly has been Such a trip .. at this point i'm hoping to make it back on my way out of this town and safely back to my home town .. I made a decision to stay home from a family outting today and knew it would make the addicts a litt...	MeTwo2	10	897	Sep 6, 2011 by maresie
	New Board Moderator (Preview) Really pleased to announce that we have a new Board Moderator, effective immediately..... Hotrod (Betty) is back from vacation, and has agreed to become a Moderator, and I am thrilled to have the help. She has been a valuable member of our family for a long time on MIP, and will be a valuable addi...	canadianguy	12	795	Sep 6, 2011 by maresie
	New Here - Need advice~ (Preview) I don't even know where to start... I am so worried about my father. I am 33 years old and do not live with him.... In the last year or so he has become an alcoholic. It is so hard to believe it since before last year he hardly ever had a drink. His drink of choice is crown and 7. He has become emotionaly...	keiker	12	585	Sep 6, 2011 by Pushka
	feeling scared of my own decisions (Preview) My AH and I had a wonderful day. We took our dog to the park, talked about things other than his problem, and went to eat ice cream with the kids. Yesterday he told me he had been hiding his rum but hasn't bought any in the past month. Good for him, I am really proud of him for that and told him so. Then he says he'...	odalis	8	660	Sep 6, 2011 by tommyecat
	Perspective (Preview) The other night I was meeting with a sponsee whom I meet with weekly at a coffee shop to guide them through step 4. I was running a few minutes late and was anxious to get there. As I get closer to the place I see an open parking spot in front which is nothing short of a miracle. I was about to pull in when I no...	tommyecat	12	673	Sep 6, 2011 by tommyecat
	Just so angry and tired (Preview) One day left to go and then i return to my home state .. I have watched the primary alcoholic in my life flip his last switch .. i'm just too tired and angry to watch anymore but i'm not really angry and tired with him .. i'm angry and tired with myself .. the lies i've told myself to survive .. the ones like .. he...	MeTwo2	6	1894	Sep 5, 2011 by winnie
	Stuck trying to figure out why he drinks (Preview) I left my husband 3 years ago and in the past 19 months that we've been back together his drinking has escalated to alcoholism. He was an alcoholic before I met him but was sober for 7 years (he did relapse a few times in that time period but was always able to pull himself together and stop). Now he is drinki...	nicjon	9	711	Sep 5, 2011 by nicjon
	I have learned so much.. and am only beginning (Preview) Hi guys I can't help but get my hopes up at the moment and enjoying the current 'good' feeling and I am tempering it with the reality of 'this too shall pass'. Yesterday, my husband went fishing with his mate who also smokes pot. I detached for the day. I didnt test in the hope that when he gets reception h...	Lindaoakford	1	375	Sep 5, 2011 by youfoundme
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.