I rarely write about my qualifier on here since the relationship has been over for a while and also my whole AA side takes over when I respond to many posts here.  But...I have been meaning to write that I got a text from my ex-A that stated he went to his first AA meeting because his life had gotten so unmanageable and "it was time to change."  I had wanted this so bad for him when we were together and then also when I was just starting out in my recovery.  Of course it would not have been good to come into the AA program together like that and events happened the way they did for a reason.  I don't think he will stick with AA but we had some really good conversation about his drinking, what it does to him and the repeated patterns it creates in his life based upon what happened with us and in other relationships he's had since.  I really want him to embrace AA but ultimately, it's his choice.  I am currently afraid to ask if he's been to other meetings because I really doubt it and I don't want to hear that.  I think he is probably not because he is also going on and on about how the city we live in is awful and he needs to move to have a good life again.  This is his pattern:  running away from problems and taking himself and his alcoholism with him.  I rode on that crazy train for 7 years.