Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Thanks to all who commented on my post yesterday. It was wonderful to know I had friends thinking of me and sending good thoughts. One day at a time, and we are on day two of this chaos. I don't know where AH spent the night, but he called me this morning, with a half-hearted apology. That's when I told him th...

Number30 · Number30

Good morning, I thought I'd share a new technique I'm trying during this rough patch. I'm not sure if it is making a difference for me yet, but I'm trying it out. Background: A few nights ago AH and I went to an event that was very important to me. I had waited months, and was nervous about it as he is actively...

el-cee · el-cee

-- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:18:52 AM -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:20:26 AM -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:23:24 AM

Jerry F · Jerry F

It is very comforting and supportive coming here and reading the ESH which my recovery often stands on. John's share of needing a break and Paris's share with her husbands response to her reaction and ILD's growth. Actually all of it is supportive to my program. I get to read these growths with my e...

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

We need a chair for tomorrows 9 a.m. eastern meeting. I will not be able to chair three morning meetings a week. Please volunteer. We need chairs and greeters for Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday mornings. -- Edited by RobinKSC on Wednesday 13th of February 2013 09:37:58 AM

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

PM myself, tigger or overcome for more details....

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

Thought I would share something I have been learning about in regards to disfunctional relationships. Before I ran like hell from my alcoholic marriage, I was introduced to the theory ( or whatever you would call it) of the Distancer and the pursuer by a marriage counseled and I think it rings to true i...

midas · midas

Hi folks, I keep wanting to post something inspirational here- I had something in mind- something about lessons I've learned in Al-anon and how I was finally seeing "progress." But today my AH was loaded into an ambulance, unconcious, gurgling, with vomit all over his clothes. He was fin...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I haven't always really gotten that saying but I think I'm learning. It was a nice reprieve but the no contact order with my ex and the boys will be lifted within the next week or two as I've been told. He agreed to stop drinking so they are lifting the order. In another lifetime I'd have driven myself ins...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Hello everybody, well, I thought today would be a good day as any to take the first step, but I don't even know how to begin. I've posted a few times on this forum, always hoping of course, that my ABF would somehow wake up and smell the coffee. The last few days however, I've come to realize that I can't depe...

laurab · laurab

My 35 year old A son is sitting in a room in Thailand without a friend, money, food etc. He just blew away a wonderful situation that was his dream. He was so sucessful and happy. He met a nice girl, fell in love, pushed her to see how much crap she would take from and she left him. He couldn't believe that he...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I ran across this on Facebook today. Detachment has alway been a tough thing for me, so this really caught my attention: Detachment The concept of letting go can be confusing to many of us. When are we doing too much or trying too hard to control people and outcomes? When are we doing too little? When is...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I was feeling so good about my program and the progess I've been making this week. My AH on the other had was drinking most of the week, but I was doing so good, trying not to react, being compassionate, and so on. We had a good morning yesterday, getting along better than we have in months. Then in the after...

blondie99 · blondie99

The last few weeks, the only things that I could manage to do was 1) breathe; 2) sleep; 3) read and go to meetings; 4) go to work. At first I was hard on myself about this...why can't I do more, plan more, be more active? Start working out at the gym, do the laundry and the dishes, reorganize my bills so that I c...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, last night I went to my favorite Al Anon meeting. It's a large group well mixed with men and women of all ages. Lots of wisdom in that room, there are 2 ladies in there who have been in program for 38 plus years!!! Anyway, I also had gone to a meeting on Thursday, which is my home meeting group and close...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I had to break away from the board this morning which I decided was better for me than going to a meeting. It was cause the power of recovery can be found MIP and often this is as good or better than an open meeting. I have another chance this evening should not a surprise interfere. The surprise cause...

Temple · Temple

I was reading on the AA board, and John posted in answer to a direct question that he had to come up with some of the money to keep the boards up in December. I realize that many of us live in chronic financial chaos, many of us are in a temporarily dicey place right now, and these of us are doing all we can to pra...

tortuga · tortuga

Some of you might remember me and my ' story'. I haven't been posting the last weeks much, I was trying to live out the things that I learned here in Al Anon. I left my 'dry' A in January, then built myself a quite good self-care program, and things seemed to get back on track. I was finally feeling like getti...

el-cee · el-cee

The play about the merry go round called denial has led me to see a fact that I had not thought of before. While my a was drinking heavily when we were together. I would play the role of enabler, victim and provoker. I would chastise him for his drinking and he would talk about his childhood and blame his mot...

Temple · Temple

I haven't thanked you often enough or with as much fervor as I feel, for making these boards available to us. I get so much support and hope from reading everybody's stories and the responses. I have been pretty good about telling the wise ones how much their shared wisdom means to me, and I haven't sa...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Hello my friends. Today I am feeling positive. I read today about accepting that alcoholism is a disease. Some days I struggle to remember this. When I came home last night, and saw that he had been drinking again, I reacted, got angry, same old bad behavior from ME. He responded by saying,"Yes...

Determined · Determined

My AH went to Schick Shadle a year and 3 months ago it was truely the first time in a long time I felt like I could breathe it did not cure all of our problems but gave us both hope. Neither of us did any follow through besides his scheduled visit however long after he checked out. We just assumed that it would...

John · John

okay, I whined about the pump on the pressure washer, about the fuel pump on the truck, about my dog needing to go to the vet... not being able to get ahead, that I "Can't get a break".... Well, we have had such good weather here the past two or three weeks that I have busted ass trying to get work lined up, don...

John · John

"You are absolutely invited to join me for a cup of coffee this morning." I woke relatively early this morning. Sat up, put feet on the floor, then leaned forward and asked my Higher Power to guide me through this day, and thanked Him for giving me another one. I got off the bed, stumbled into the kitchen...

blondie99 · blondie99

I came to some really important realizations today - some true bing!lightbulb, monkey-touching-the-monolith moments. My AH is in his first full day of rehab today. He is on a 7-day communication blackout, but he was able to call me last night and let me know he was in safe and sound. He told me briefly a...

John · John

When I became willing to simply hold on, work the steps, spend time with others in recovery, not allow my dis-EASE to separate me and isolate me, and started to beg for some relief from a God I surely DIDN'T understand... the pain lessened a little bit, and I was able to move through whatever the source of...

nyc018 · nyc018

After being a semi regular on this board I have not posted in a long time; I have been very busy in a new role in my job which is keeping me offline most of the day, and evenings are spent with my son. My current schedule just doesn't allow me the time to go to f2f meetings. I relied heavily on the comfort of th...

cneely · cneely

Hi, this is my first time on this website. I am 21 married to a 32 year old man. We've been married for over two years and we have one one-year-old son and a daughter due in three weeks. Before we married, we only dated for one year and before that we had only known each other for a few months. Most of the time, w...

sookie · sookie

Ugh....tonight my separated AH is coming over to talk about our divorce. I am full of anxiety. I am the main breadwinner and he is entitled to half of everything I have worked for during the last 10 years--a good savings account I have built for our kids college, half my pension, half the house, and the re...

marycontrary · marycontrary

I read it every moring and I see my self. I can identify with the different states. Things repressed come back too. It stirs me up in a way. I make myself come back. I am so grateful for all those brave enough to share. I feel like my inner mechanics are crunching, grinding, bursting. I feel like the ground I...

1976love · 1976love

All I was doing was washing the dishes. That's all it took to let my mind wonder into the land of "If I could..." So in that thought, I am recalling the incident that went down this weekend. If only I kept my mouth shut and didn't tell my MIL that my recovering SIL put their address up on social...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My dad was born on Valentine's Day--he would have been 73. He died on Dec. 21, 2011. It is hard to celebrate these days. But...I did pretty well. My husband bought me flowers & took me out to Mexican food. He usually doesn't give me flowers but I think he realized that I was struggling w/ the loss &...

milkwood · milkwood

AH and I have been together for 32 years. We have so many shared memories and a lot of them are good. His drinking started twelve years ago and my crazies set in about six years ago when AH decided to dangle an affair in front of me. Three years ago I finally drew some lines (so much time wasted in my ignora...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Although I grew up in an alcoholic home, I truly believed that alcoholism would not be an issue in my life if there were no active alcoholic drinking. I did not realize how much living with the disease of alcoholism as a child would affect my relationships with my children and husband.I found Al-Anon w...

AngelicH57 · AngelicH57

Hi, I'm new to this board and after many years realize I'm an ENABLER to my 27 years old daughter and her alcoholism. I have finally realized through many tears that I have not allowed her to suffer the consquences of her addiction by giving her money, buying her cars, bailing her out of jail, pay...

John · John

I work and I work hard. Of course this time of year is extremely slow for pressure washing and painting. But I keep putting the word out there and catch a job or two a week, which just allows me to hold on until spring. I even sold my Ford F250 work truck and got a small Nissian truck which saves me a bunch on...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Wife texts husband on a cold winters Morning: Windows frozen, wont open. Husband texts back: Gently pour some lukewarm water over it. Wife texts back five minutes later: Computer really screwed up now. ************************* Happy Valentine's Day!

Jennifer · Jennifer

I am having a case of the what if's. My what if's are not related to any A but are a residual challenge from years of trying to be prepared, reacting and worrying about uncontrollable situations. My tried and dependable practices are not helping very much on this today. I am hoping some of you may share w...

Keaghan · Keaghan

Well I feel betrayed again. Every time I think we are moving to a better place we goes 3 steps backward. Yesterday on valentines I give her roses etc and in return my AW decides to be angry at me all night. I couldn't do any right, calling me names you know the drill. I just don't understand any of this diseas...

blondie99 · blondie99

So I was in a f2f meeting yesterday - Valentine's Day. It's supposed to be a time for romance, for love, for mutual admiration. For sweet whispers, bubble baths tempered with chocolates. For flowers and stuffed animals. I feared that if I stood still too long that I would be saturated in sickenly-swee...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok .. I'm sure there are a few out there that are sick of me talking about this dang truck .. LOL! Burn baby burn, Pink they are playing our song. Things with the STBAX are coming to a head and I've had a lot of learning curves. I don't know how to be anything other than combative with someone who has hurt me s...

Heather 68 · Heather 68

Well, my AB gets out of jail tomorrow, or midnight tonight? I haven't spoken to him but he sent me a Valentine's Day card, it wobled me, to say the least. I do not want to get sucked back into the drama and abuse that accompany his drinking. I can no longer trust in him and I have been working hard on my own reco...

dponlyme · dponlyme

AW has been drinking alot more in the past couple weeks. My mental health is on a slide since my car blew up. Sleep is all out of whack. I didn't eat todayat all. I am sleeping on the dining room floor because we are fighting. I've resorted back to old and self destructive coping mechanisms. If I don't do som...

earthtorachel · earthtorachel

Hi everyone, This is going to be long so I thank whoever sits through and reads it all in advance! I am new to this and not sure where I fit in. My therapist urged me to read the Alanon book and my husband has been encouraging me to go to meetings. I am 8 months pregnant right now and have two other children to te...

sportychick · sportychick

Hi I have been in Al Anon for 2 years coming up in April. But today I have been feeling Lonley and not using my program. I moved back to Australia from Canada in August last year with my husband and now 2 yr old son. My reasons for moving back to Australia was to live closer to family and friends. My husband wa...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

4 years of begging, yelling, crying and paying I did not make one thing better for either me or my son. Since October 30, 2012 when I came to accept the first step in Al-anon did my life begin to change. Yes I still worry, cry, fear and obsess sometimes ( never to my son) but I'm getting the help I need to over...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. Today, I found myself playing the victim and feeling sorry for myself, something that I acquired growing up in an alcoholic home. My alcoholic father got laid off from his jobs several times when I was a kid. He was never able to sti...

marycontrary · marycontrary

It was another long night, another barrage of crazy to somehow nutralize for my own sanity, so I can maintain my position. That being, the ability to be available when I am not working for a living to the particular people in my family who need a regular supportive presence. I have frail elderly parents...

Afraidparent · Afraidparent

Got a text from my daughter last night saying she wanted to "talk to us about how she feels." I didn't want to go to bed on a negative and lose sleep. Learned all of my lessons there. I don't respond at night and I don't look at my phone early in the morning. I give Myself time away from it and give...

jdlewis · jdlewis

My daughter is 33 and severely alcoholic. She lives with her husband on the east coast and the first intervention by her family (me, her father, brother and sister in law) was January of 2011. She has been to detox countless times and has spent at total of 75 days in treatment at Hazelden in Oregon. He...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

Im guessing Im emotionally detached, but we read something last night that made me really reflect- I became an alcoholic partially because of my damaged upbringing and the biggest part of it all was living with an alcoholic father, being abused by his wives (which Ive never really settled with becau...

DebLisa55 · DebLisa55

I am new here - found this website by mistake and I just need to vent. My husband of 25 years is an alcoholic. He has been drinking on and off for years but I never thought he had a problem until three years ago when I found out he was drinking at work, hiding beer from me in the garbage pail outside our house and...

oldergal · oldergal

My son who is my qualifier is seeing a counselor and doing a little better. Anyway his wife and him have 3 kids and his wife today ask me to borrow money so the bank won't take away their vehicle. Do I lend it or am I stopping a crisis? Causing soft landings. She is not an alcoholic, and he is making an attempt t...

afglin · afglin

I have a question for you. Last night at Alanon this came up. Two different people said their loved ones learned that the year you started drinking you totally stopped in mental years from then on. So if you started drinking at 13 you woudl remain 13 forever...even if you stopped drinking for a long tim...

rmbergeron1 · rmbergeron1

Hello, I am new to this site. I have been doing al-anon now for about a year. I sometimes feel stuck in one place. I listen to the tapes, I visit the forums, I read the books and readings. It all makes perfect sense, but I just can't seem to do it!! I know what I should do, but when I come home to my AH and he h...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Hello friends. I need some gudance today. I read today's Courage to Change entry about loving myself, loving my A, and loving others. The first and last, I understand, but the middle one is hard for me lately. How do I act lovingly to him, when I can smell the booze on his breath, and it makes my blood boi...

MDK · MDK

I haven't been on here in quite some time and I am glad I chose tonight to read some stories. I am going through some very hard issues right now. I am scared I feel lonely. I have even thought deep dark thoughts that creep up unexpectidly. I miss my friend Rodney now more than ever. He was the one I turned to an...

orchidlover · orchidlover

In my deeply mixed up view of life I had some idea that in the right place I could find someone who would take care of me. I had this view because I did not get taken care of as a child. I lived on survival. I did not get my needs met. Basically I had a roof over my head and not much else. Indeed the roof was barely a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been reminscing a lot lately. I am basically trying to let go but I find myself remembering past relationships, etc. Mostly I am remembering the sick ones. Doesn't it figure? I wish I could stop. All the alcoholics in my past whether they were in recovery or not. Some of them were really out there...

Janet007 · Janet007

I'm new to Al-Anon. My boyfriend who has been a drinker for 20+ years, 3 weeks ago, went to detox. We have been together for about a year and a half and he has been a heavy drinker the entire time. He has never been abusive and he doesn't hang out in bars nor did he drink hard liquor. He only drank beer,...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Day Two... (Preview) Thanks to all who commented on my post yesterday. It was wonderful to know I had friends thinking of me and sending good thoughts. One day at a time, and we are on day two of this chaos. I don't know where AH spent the night, but he called me this morning, with a half-hearted apology. That's when I told him th...	ParisMemories	3	205	Feb 18, 2013 by learning
	Trying something new (Preview) Good morning, I thought I'd share a new technique I'm trying during this rough patch. I'm not sure if it is making a difference for me yet, but I'm trying it out. Background: A few nights ago AH and I went to an event that was very important to me. I had waited months, and was nervous about it as he is actively...	Number30	4	357	Feb 18, 2013 by Afraidparent
	Nice quote (Preview) -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:18:52 AM -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:20:26 AM -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:23:24 AM	el-cee	5	228	Feb 18, 2013 by Afraidparent
	Listen also with your eyes... (Preview) It is very comforting and supportive coming here and reading the ESH which my recovery often stands on. John's share of needing a break and Paris's share with her husbands response to her reaction and ILD's growth. Actually all of it is supportive to my program. I get to read these growths with my e...	Jerry F	6	243	Feb 18, 2013 by PP
	Tomorrow's AM meeting, please do not delete this message, we do not have a chair, please step up to chair and greet (Preview) We need a chair for tomorrows 9 a.m. eastern meeting. I will not be able to chair three morning meetings a week. Please volunteer. We need chairs and greeters for Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday mornings. -- Edited by RobinKSC on Wednesday 13th of February 2013 09:37:58 AM	RobinKSC	7	297	Feb 18, 2013 by RobinKSC
	We are still looking for chairs and greeters for Wed Thursday and Sunday mornings, we will train you.. (Preview) PM myself, tigger or overcome for more details....	RobinKSC	0	140	Feb 18, 2013 by RobinKSC
	The Pursuer and the Distancer (Preview) Thought I would share something I have been learning about in regards to disfunctional relationships. Before I ran like hell from my alcoholic marriage, I was introduced to the theory ( or whatever you would call it) of the Distancer and the pursuer by a marriage counseled and I think it rings to true i...	GreenerGrass	8	4921	Feb 18, 2013 by ilovedogs
	waiting for the miracle (Preview) Hi folks, I keep wanting to post something inspirational here- I had something in mind- something about lessons I've learned in Al-anon and how I was finally seeing "progress." But today my AH was loaded into an ambulance, unconcious, gurgling, with vomit all over his clothes. He was fin...	midas	9	445	Feb 18, 2013 by midas
	Learning to live life on life's terms (Preview) I haven't always really gotten that saying but I think I'm learning. It was a nice reprieve but the no contact order with my ex and the boys will be lifted within the next week or two as I've been told. He agreed to stop drinking so they are lifting the order. In another lifetime I'd have driven myself ins...	AStrongerMe	3	210	Feb 18, 2013 by AStrongerMe
	New Week, New Start--But Where and How? (Preview) Hello everybody, well, I thought today would be a good day as any to take the first step, but I don't even know how to begin. I've posted a few times on this forum, always hoping of course, that my ABF would somehow wake up and smell the coffee. The last few days however, I've come to realize that I can't depe...	Raven Juniper	3	419	Feb 18, 2013 by Jerry F
	I want to rescue and i know I can't (Preview) My 35 year old A son is sitting in a room in Thailand without a friend, money, food etc. He just blew away a wonderful situation that was his dream. He was so sucessful and happy. He met a nice girl, fell in love, pushed her to see how much crap she would take from and she left him. He couldn't believe that he...	laurab	16	400	Feb 18, 2013 by hotrod
	Detachment Detachment (Preview) I ran across this on Facebook today. Detachment has alway been a tough thing for me, so this really caught my attention: Detachment The concept of letting go can be confusing to many of us. When are we doing too much or trying too hard to control people and outcomes? When are we doing too little? When is...	Green Eyes	1	4693	Feb 18, 2013 by hotrod
	A Bad Day (Preview) I was feeling so good about my program and the progess I've been making this week. My AH on the other had was drinking most of the week, but I was doing so good, trying not to react, being compassionate, and so on. We had a good morning yesterday, getting along better than we have in months. Then in the after...	ParisMemories	12	335	Feb 18, 2013 by xeno59
	Let The Sunshine In (Preview) The last few weeks, the only things that I could manage to do was 1) breathe; 2) sleep; 3) read and go to meetings; 4) go to work. At first I was hard on myself about this...why can't I do more, plan more, be more active? Start working out at the gym, do the laundry and the dishes, reorganize my bills so that I c...	blondie99	3	207	Feb 17, 2013 by Jerry F
	AH's before meeting comment: had to share (Preview) So, last night I went to my favorite Al Anon meeting. It's a large group well mixed with men and women of all ages. Lots of wisdom in that room, there are 2 ladies in there who have been in program for 38 plus years!!! Anyway, I also had gone to a meeting on Thursday, which is my home meeting group and close...	ilovedogs	7	440	Feb 17, 2013 by Pushka
	Life on Life's terms...Yay (Preview) I had to break away from the board this morning which I decided was better for me than going to a meeting. It was cause the power of recovery can be found MIP and often this is as good or better than an open meeting. I have another chance this evening should not a surprise interfere. The surprise cause...	Jerry F	13	503	Feb 17, 2013 by likemyheart
	And another thing. (Preview) I was reading on the AA board, and John posted in answer to a direct question that he had to come up with some of the money to keep the boards up in December. I realize that many of us live in chronic financial chaos, many of us are in a temporarily dicey place right now, and these of us are doing all we can to pra...	Temple	2	190	Feb 17, 2013 by Temple
	self-sabotage, in honesty! (Preview) Some of you might remember me and my ' story'. I haven't been posting the last weeks much, I was trying to live out the things that I learned here in Al Anon. I left my 'dry' A in January, then built myself a quite good self-care program, and things seemed to get back on track. I was finally feeling like getti...	tortuga	8	402	Feb 17, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	tools of denial (Preview) The play about the merry go round called denial has led me to see a fact that I had not thought of before. While my a was drinking heavily when we were together. I would play the role of enabler, victim and provoker. I would chastise him for his drinking and he would talk about his childhood and blame his mot...	el-cee	4	291	Feb 17, 2013 by hotrod
	Thank you to John (Preview) I haven't thanked you often enough or with as much fervor as I feel, for making these boards available to us. I get so much support and hope from reading everybody's stories and the responses. I have been pretty good about telling the wise ones how much their shared wisdom means to me, and I haven't sa...	Temple	2	215	Feb 17, 2013 by milkwood
	Feeling positive today (Preview) Hello my friends. Today I am feeling positive. I read today about accepting that alcoholism is a disease. Some days I struggle to remember this. When I came home last night, and saw that he had been drinking again, I reacted, got angry, same old bad behavior from ME. He responded by saying,"Yes...	ParisMemories	3	284	Feb 17, 2013 by Jerry F
	Is there a fairy tale ending? (Preview) My AH went to Schick Shadle a year and 3 months ago it was truely the first time in a long time I felt like I could breathe it did not cure all of our problems but gave us both hope. Neither of us did any follow through besides his scheduled visit however long after he checked out. We just assumed that it would...	Determined	8	405	Feb 17, 2013 by Jerry F
	It's Snowing!! WTF! (Preview) okay, I whined about the pump on the pressure washer, about the fuel pump on the truck, about my dog needing to go to the vet... not being able to get ahead, that I "Can't get a break".... Well, we have had such good weather here the past two or three weeks that I have busted ass trying to get work lined up, don...	John	5	292	Feb 17, 2013 by Jerry F
	Shared on AA board today... (Preview) "You are absolutely invited to join me for a cup of coffee this morning." I woke relatively early this morning. Sat up, put feet on the floor, then leaned forward and asked my Higher Power to guide me through this day, and thanked Him for giving me another one. I got off the bed, stumbled into the kitchen...	John	1	349	Feb 17, 2013 by Jerry F
	I chose grace (Preview) I came to some really important realizations today - some true bing!lightbulb, monkey-touching-the-monolith moments. My AH is in his first full day of rehab today. He is on a 7-day communication blackout, but he was able to call me last night and let me know he was in safe and sound. He told me briefly a...	blondie99	6	394	Feb 17, 2013 by ParisMemories
	Just a thought... (Preview) When I became willing to simply hold on, work the steps, spend time with others in recovery, not allow my dis-EASE to separate me and isolate me, and started to beg for some relief from a God I surely DIDN'T understand... the pain lessened a little bit, and I was able to move through whatever the source of...	John	2	402	Feb 16, 2013 by Jackie Z
	Back after a while (Preview) After being a semi regular on this board I have not posted in a long time; I have been very busy in a new role in my job which is keeping me offline most of the day, and evenings are spent with my son. My current schedule just doesn't allow me the time to go to f2f meetings. I relied heavily on the comfort of th...	nyc018	4	262	Feb 16, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	I have no trust left. (Preview) Hi, this is my first time on this website. I am 21 married to a 32 year old man. We've been married for over two years and we have one one-year-old son and a daughter due in three weeks. Before we married, we only dated for one year and before that we had only known each other for a few months. Most of the time, w...	cneely	4	492	Feb 16, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Praying for strength for tonight (Preview) Ugh....tonight my separated AH is coming over to talk about our divorce. I am full of anxiety. I am the main breadwinner and he is entitled to half of everything I have worked for during the last 10 years--a good savings account I have built for our kids college, half my pension, half the house, and the re...	sookie	5	440	Feb 16, 2013 by Auntyaya
	Thanks to this board - (Preview) I read it every moring and I see my self. I can identify with the different states. Things repressed come back too. It stirs me up in a way. I make myself come back. I am so grateful for all those brave enough to share. I feel like my inner mechanics are crunching, grinding, bursting. I feel like the ground I...	marycontrary	5	289	Feb 16, 2013 by marycontrary
	Just had one of those great light bulb moments (Preview) All I was doing was washing the dishes. That's all it took to let my mind wonder into the land of "If I could..." So in that thought, I am recalling the incident that went down this weekend. If only I kept my mouth shut and didn't tell my MIL that my recovering SIL put their address up on social...	1976love	2	223	Feb 16, 2013 by Pushka
	life after Valentine's Day (Preview) My dad was born on Valentine's Day--he would have been 73. He died on Dec. 21, 2011. It is hard to celebrate these days. But...I did pretty well. My husband bought me flowers & took me out to Mexican food. He usually doesn't give me flowers but I think he realized that I was struggling w/ the loss &...	Hoot Nanny	1	195	Feb 16, 2013 by milkwood
	Marriage counselling (Preview) AH and I have been together for 32 years. We have so many shared memories and a lot of them are good. His drinking started twelve years ago and my crazies set in about six years ago when AH decided to dangle an affair in front of me. Three years ago I finally drew some lines (so much time wasted in my ignora...	milkwood	9	450	Feb 16, 2013 by milkwood
	Getting off the emotional roller coaster (Preview) Although I grew up in an alcoholic home, I truly believed that alcoholism would not be an issue in my life if there were no active alcoholic drinking. I did not realize how much living with the disease of alcoholism as a child would affect my relationships with my children and husband.I found Al-Anon w...	Tracey C	2	274	Feb 16, 2013 by hotrod
	I'm New Here... (Preview) Hi, I'm new to this board and after many years realize I'm an ENABLER to my 27 years old daughter and her alcoholism. I have finally realized through many tears that I have not allowed her to suffer the consquences of her addiction by giving her money, buying her cars, bailing her out of jail, pay...	AngelicH57	5	208	Feb 16, 2013 by John
	Can't get a break! (Preview) I work and I work hard. Of course this time of year is extremely slow for pressure washing and painting. But I keep putting the word out there and catch a job or two a week, which just allows me to hold on until spring. I even sold my Ford F250 work truck and got a small Nissian truck which saves me a bunch on...	John	14	304	Feb 16, 2013 by laurab
	Context is important - passing on the laughter! (Preview) Wife texts husband on a cold winters Morning: Windows frozen, wont open. Husband texts back: Gently pour some lukewarm water over it. Wife texts back five minutes later: Computer really screwed up now. ************************* Happy Valentine's Day!	likemyheart	4	295	Feb 16, 2013 by John
	What if? (Preview) I am having a case of the what if's. My what if's are not related to any A but are a residual challenge from years of trying to be prepared, reacting and worrying about uncontrollable situations. My tried and dependable practices are not helping very much on this today. I am hoping some of you may share w...	Jennifer	8	563	Feb 16, 2013 by Debilyn
	I feel betrayed again (Preview) Well I feel betrayed again. Every time I think we are moving to a better place we goes 3 steps backward. Yesterday on valentines I give her roses etc and in return my AW decides to be angry at me all night. I couldn't do any right, calling me names you know the drill. I just don't understand any of this diseas...	Keaghan	6	257	Feb 15, 2013 by sookie
	A bouquet of flowers and a 12-pack (Preview) So I was in a f2f meeting yesterday - Valentine's Day. It's supposed to be a time for romance, for love, for mutual admiration. For sweet whispers, bubble baths tempered with chocolates. For flowers and stuffed animals. I feared that if I stood still too long that I would be saturated in sickenly-swee...	blondie99	3	498	Feb 15, 2013 by Jerry F
	The truck .. (Preview) Ok .. I'm sure there are a few out there that are sick of me talking about this dang truck .. LOL! Burn baby burn, Pink they are playing our song. Things with the STBAX are coming to a head and I've had a lot of learning curves. I don't know how to be anything other than combative with someone who has hurt me s...	Pushka	3	338	Feb 15, 2013 by Pushka
	Here we go again!! (Preview) Well, my AB gets out of jail tomorrow, or midnight tonight? I haven't spoken to him but he sent me a Valentine's Day card, it wobled me, to say the least. I do not want to get sucked back into the drama and abuse that accompany his drinking. I can no longer trust in him and I have been working hard on my own reco...	Heather 68	3	267	Feb 15, 2013 by Jerry F
	Scared I am falling backward (Preview) AW has been drinking alot more in the past couple weeks. My mental health is on a slide since my car blew up. Sleep is all out of whack. I didn't eat todayat all. I am sleeping on the dining room floor because we are fighting. I've resorted back to old and self destructive coping mechanisms. If I don't do som...	dponlyme	6	419	Feb 15, 2013 by Jerry F
	New, Confused and in Pain (Preview) Hi everyone, This is going to be long so I thank whoever sits through and reads it all in advance! I am new to this and not sure where I fit in. My therapist urged me to read the Alanon book and my husband has been encouraging me to go to meetings. I am 8 months pregnant right now and have two other children to te...	earthtorachel	9	878	Feb 15, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	Negative Thinking/ Loneliness (Preview) Hi I have been in Al Anon for 2 years coming up in April. But today I have been feeling Lonley and not using my program. I moved back to Australia from Canada in August last year with my husband and now 2 yr old son. My reasons for moving back to Australia was to live closer to family and friends. My husband wa...	sportychick	5	542	Feb 15, 2013 by slogan_jim
	4 Years (Preview) 4 years of begging, yelling, crying and paying I did not make one thing better for either me or my son. Since October 30, 2012 when I came to accept the first step in Al-anon did my life begin to change. Yes I still worry, cry, fear and obsess sometimes ( never to my son) but I'm getting the help I need to over...	Cathyinaz	5	290	Feb 14, 2013 by AStrongerMe
	Keeping things in perspective/playing the victim. (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. Today, I found myself playing the victim and feeling sorry for myself, something that I acquired growing up in an alcoholic home. My alcoholic father got laid off from his jobs several times when I was a kid. He was never able to sti...	slogan_jim	3	253	Feb 14, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Anxiety of Indecision (Preview) It was another long night, another barrage of crazy to somehow nutralize for my own sanity, so I can maintain my position. That being, the ability to be available when I am not working for a living to the particular people in my family who need a regular supportive presence. I have frail elderly parents...	marycontrary	5	311	Feb 14, 2013 by marycontrary
	Daughter working on me hard this a.m. (Preview) Got a text from my daughter last night saying she wanted to "talk to us about how she feels." I didn't want to go to bed on a negative and lose sleep. Learned all of my lessons there. I don't respond at night and I don't look at my phone early in the morning. I give Myself time away from it and give...	Afraidparent	10	304	Feb 14, 2013 by Afraidparent
	Alcoholic daughter (Preview) My daughter is 33 and severely alcoholic. She lives with her husband on the east coast and the first intervention by her family (me, her father, brother and sister in law) was January of 2011. She has been to detox countless times and has spent at total of 75 days in treatment at Hazelden in Oregon. He...	jdlewis	6	474	Feb 14, 2013 by jdlewis
	My AA meeting nearly brought tears to my eyes last night (Preview) Im guessing Im emotionally detached, but we read something last night that made me really reflect- I became an alcoholic partially because of my damaged upbringing and the biggest part of it all was living with an alcoholic father, being abused by his wives (which Ive never really settled with becau...	AlAnonDave	9	393	Feb 14, 2013 by AlAnonDave
	Tired of the BS (Preview) I am new here - found this website by mistake and I just need to vent. My husband of 25 years is an alcoholic. He has been drinking on and off for years but I never thought he had a problem until three years ago when I found out he was drinking at work, hiding beer from me in the garbage pail outside our house and...	DebLisa55	8	379	Feb 14, 2013 by Mattie
	Lending my son and family money (Preview) My son who is my qualifier is seeing a counselor and doing a little better. Anyway his wife and him have 3 kids and his wife today ask me to borrow money so the bank won't take away their vehicle. Do I lend it or am I stopping a crisis? Causing soft landings. She is not an alcoholic, and he is making an attempt t...	oldergal	6	370	Feb 13, 2013 by Debilyn
	question (Preview) I have a question for you. Last night at Alanon this came up. Two different people said their loved ones learned that the year you started drinking you totally stopped in mental years from then on. So if you started drinking at 13 you woudl remain 13 forever...even if you stopped drinking for a long tim...	afglin	6	236	Feb 13, 2013 by Debilyn
	Getting it right?! (Preview) Hello, I am new to this site. I have been doing al-anon now for about a year. I sometimes feel stuck in one place. I listen to the tapes, I visit the forums, I read the books and readings. It all makes perfect sense, but I just can't seem to do it!! I know what I should do, but when I come home to my AH and he h...	rmbergeron1	3	221	Feb 13, 2013 by el-cee
	Loving an A - need your examples (Preview) Hello friends. I need some gudance today. I read today's Courage to Change entry about loving myself, loving my A, and loving others. The first and last, I understand, but the middle one is hard for me lately. How do I act lovingly to him, when I can smell the booze on his breath, and it makes my blood boi...	ParisMemories	7	297	Feb 13, 2013 by ParisMemories
	It has been well over a year........... (Preview) I haven't been on here in quite some time and I am glad I chose tonight to read some stories. I am going through some very hard issues right now. I am scared I feel lonely. I have even thought deep dark thoughts that creep up unexpectidly. I miss my friend Rodney now more than ever. He was the one I turned to an...	MDK	6	245	Feb 13, 2013 by Jerry F
	Taking care of myself. (Preview) In my deeply mixed up view of life I had some idea that in the right place I could find someone who would take care of me. I had this view because I did not get taken care of as a child. I lived on survival. I did not get my needs met. Basically I had a roof over my head and not much else. Indeed the roof was barely a...	orchidlover	4	221	Feb 13, 2013 by el-cee
	reminscing--is that healthy? (Preview) I have been reminscing a lot lately. I am basically trying to let go but I find myself remembering past relationships, etc. Mostly I am remembering the sick ones. Doesn't it figure? I wish I could stop. All the alcoholics in my past whether they were in recovery or not. Some of them were really out there...	Hoot Nanny	2	227	Feb 13, 2013 by Jerry F
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) I'm new to Al-Anon. My boyfriend who has been a drinker for 20+ years, 3 weeks ago, went to detox. We have been together for about a year and a half and he has been a heavy drinker the entire time. He has never been abusive and he doesn't hang out in bars nor did he drink hard liquor. He only drank beer,...	Janet007	9	262	Feb 13, 2013 by Janet007
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.