Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

blondie99 · blondie99

I know that my HP only gives me what I can take, and gently places me in the right place according to HP's plan, not mine. However, today I am struggling. I called my AH's therapist earlier this week, told him I had had enough and that I needed to schedule a family meeting at the rehab facility to hopefully w...

Lyne · Lyne

Tonight my A is going out with her drinking buddies and she is telling me she is working. I asked her to just please tell me the truth-nope. I'm angry but not devastated. I need to stay calm later when I see her after the lies. I probably will shut down and not want to talk to her. She will tell me I have a p...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Even long time Al Anoners can mess up. As I have shared my manfriend has filed D from his wife. It takes about 6 months to be final. We had met here at MIP many, many years ago and we have been best friends only. We were both married to a's. I was freed by man by adultery. Now he is also freed by his wife. We both ha...

KELLY88 · KELLY88

I am new here, this is my first post. I really need support.....I will give you my life in a nutshell.....I have two boys..one is 15 and one is 9.....I live with my alcoholic partner....he does not work, and I support all of us......I travel for a living...... My partner and I have been together for 11 y...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi MIP Family IN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL Step 10 has been posted to the Step Work Board http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52723393/step-10-alanon/

cinders · cinders

I spent some time thinking through my frustrations and anger that I was feeling towards my AH for all the years of let down and finally the abandonment. After some reflection I came to accept that in part, it was that I was angry at myself for having put up with it for so long, allowing myself to be treated...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, Lately, I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety. My problem is that this anxiety is unwarranted and it's getting better but it can't stop. One thing I am worried about is that I will one day snap and cause a lot of distress for everyone around me, much like my parents did. They are both menta...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

I've been feeling very sad, lonely, anxious and depressed for the past few weeks. My Mom passed unexpectedly in May from stomach cancer - diagnosed and ten days later she died, at the age of 58. My AH has not made any progress in his program and has been (unsuccessfully) trying to persuade me that he's...

John · John

Woke up to my dog Max mouning this morning. He couldn't stand on his legs. I picked him up and he callapsed in my arms. Limp and barely rsponding to me. I rushed him back to the vets office. Please say a "max" prayer this morning. John

cRaZyJaDe · cRaZyJaDe

I've been trying to decide if I wanted to post this or not, mostly because I know when I post this I will sound super-pathetic for keeping him around. Because that is how I feel. I want to be the strong, intelligent, independent woman that I used to be, but I can't find her. The only way to describe this we...

DavidG · DavidG

Its Saturday here in Sunny old New Zealand. its bin warm this summer, after a wet spring. The cherries have all bin picked, but followed by apricots, nectarine and them kinds of fruit. The grapes are the last to be picked. Ah well, I know they are grown to make gutrot, but the growers here believe they do m...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I don't have much to say but I will say this: I haven't been on the computer for a few days so I haven't been able to post. I usually try to say something when I get on here. I guess I just can't shut up! No seriously. I have been reading a really good book lately--not alanon approved but good none the less. I jus...

tortuga · tortuga

today i'm posting here, just out of tiredness of being sad and hopeless. Am not feeling right inside...still a lot of anger and guilt, and disappointment and resentment. i know time will make this right, and hope and kindness will be back in place. right now there is emptiness. or is it the calm after th...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

A couple of days ago my son wanted to help me at the house doing work that I don't get done all the time. I prayed about it and let it go but he continued to ask...PLEASE just let me do something. So I said OK, you know where the quad is and the dragger. Go up there and drag the property, pull any weeds and trim...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

I got an award at work for finding something a few months ago wrong with an aircraft- an 8 inch cut in one of the tails underneath while the pilot was started up getting ready to take off. Im a contractor for the government and I work on F18 Hornets. As an inspector, I am obligated to stop the launch, and I did...

Katy · Katy

Errm I am really starting to think about my denial over things, although I like to belive I am an honest person, I am thinking denial is far from honest, yet I have only just started thinking about this, if honesty and denial are what I am doing I am not actually being honest, did my denial happen because of...

dponlyme · dponlyme

I'm getting so fed up with aw finding fault with everything I do. Even though I know that I've done nothing wrong it hurts that she makes me out to be this completely self centered uncaring person. Because I would not drop my plans to go the gym today and take son to get new eyeglasses then I "care more...

afglin · afglin

I woudl like to include an avatar on my message board posts. I can't fin a place for profile or preferences. I posted on the tech section yesterday but have not gotten a rely yet. Can anybody tell me how I put in an avatar? LIN

PP · PP

Although my hubbie has been in recovery for 4 years (me about 8) I still experience the same hurt (now I am aware of the hurt, before al anon I would not acknowledge it) from the same kinds of choices he made when he was in the active stages of his substance/sexual addictions. Throughout our marriage, he...

Pushka · Pushka

This is for all sake and purposes my wedding anniverary .. we would have been married this year for 14 years together for 17. Last year we went and had a date night as we were still together in a very weird way .. however .. it was a disaster. At least that's how I remember it. I had a wonderful meal .. I wan...

el-cee · el-cee

My mind has been sick again lately. I've been feeling a bit resentful and intolerant. I think my behaviour is not too bad. Im hiding my feelings but my thinking is horrible. I have no one to blame either. I want these shortcomings removed please.

sookie · sookie

I have let myself spend the the day at home alone crying for the first time in ages. This week I visited a lawyer, beginning the divorce process from my AH of 10 years, who has been living on his own for almost 18 months now. During this 18 months, I hoped he would find sobriety and we would make things work. I...

1976love · 1976love

So early this morning I get to thinking, "Why do I care if someone is mad at me?" I can understand the reasononing of the problem, I know I am right. I also know the other person has lied and betrayed people, people where I had to stick up for them, and now you are mad at me because I voiced a truth...

blondie99 · blondie99

OK...all the serenity I have built on for the last week is GONE. My AH called me today...was supposed to officially be his first day out of blackout in rehab, but he's called me pretty much every day. It started as a nice conversation, I was telling him I am home today under the weather. He said that he's b...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I am finding that my biggest issue is my growing anger at the lies I am being told. I know it's the disease he has. I know it's alcoholism. I can tell myself these things until I'm blue in the face but it doesn't make me like it any less. I HATE being lied to. It's as simple as that. I have no idea how to liv...

tortuga · tortuga

Hello and good morning, I'm back into active daily program. After the events this weekend i questioned myself a lot, my trust in myself, my self-worth, my anger, my resentments. I went way back low, to feel so much hurt and self-deception. And Jerry recommended to throw a temper tantrum. I had to think...

John · John

My lil' dog, Max is back home!! I had taken him to the vet on Friday, got supportive care, took him home, was okay saturday, sunday started showing signs of not being very well, and Monday morning was non responsive at all. The only thing on his body that he could move was his eyes. He was limp. He spent...

Breezie · Breezie

Thanks for the warm welcomes Right now I am in the midst of turmoil with my AH. He has been clean a year now. I am happy and proud he has remained clean, but that seems to be the only part of his program he is working. He thinks his program is great. I will not take his inventory to him, but have felt the nee...

ChristineD · ChristineD

Hi, I'm new. My alcoholic mother passed away at the age of 53 Feb. 2. She had nothing prepared, left me with a mess and I've finally gotten her laid to rest. I still have to take care of her apartment and bills. I new this day was coming for five years. I knew in the end she would die alone with just me to take car...

John · John

Hi everyone, First I want to thank everyone for your warm, loving and supportive words as I trudge through this hard time regarding my dog Max. Your letting me just share it here, have a place to dump my heart out means so much to me. I saw Max this morning. And he is doing sooo much better. The vet says he...

cinders · cinders

So yesterday when I had the 2nd oldest out doing his driving training, as he went to open the door to get out of the vehicle, the door handled snapped off. So today I am headed out with what is left of my day off to work on fixing the handle because I am not interested in climbing over the center console to get...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

First I am thankful for all of the ESH I have received from these boards; am so grateful to be able to come here. I know that I have to keep the focus on me, not my A and his disease, and I have been dedicated to daily reading of literature, almost daily meetings, and listening. That being said, it is so diff...

laurab · laurab

How will he know when he has reached the bottom? Will he figure out what to do next? As I said previously my son is in Phuket Thailand where he just blew away what he considered the very best situation ever. Now he is alone in a room, rent is paid through the end of the month, no money, no friends, no motorbike...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I have to share that my AH got himself to the hospital today and begins a 5 day inpatient program tomorrow. I don't have any details. He hasn't told me any of this. He has only communicated with his brother via text. I know he is angry, embarrassed, etc. with me. I also know that this is only the first step. I...

Sangyaa · Sangyaa

Hi all, First, I've been an on-again-off-again member of al-anon for years. I haven't been to a f2f meeting in a while. I know that I really need to go back though. I've been in a relationship with my ABF for 4 years now. The first few months were great but looking back now, the whole rest has been a mess of em...

Pushka · Pushka

Ok, .. so I got a call this AM from the STBAX and guess what .. he's been in a car accident and is calling me for a ride home. He's ok if you consider a badly broken wrist ok, and a broken bone under his eye. Now knock me over with a feather .. trust me when I say the last person in the world I would call if I did ANYT...

Number30 · Number30

Today I am struggling. I WANT to be at my bottom-the point where I walk away (with love). I want to be done, but I've admitted that I'm not. I'm not there (at the "10" mentioned in another post the other day). To be clear, I'm not deciding divorce, simply pondering asking him to leave until clea...

Breezie · Breezie

Hello friends! New here, been in Al-Anon almost a year now. So grateful to find a place I can come at any time for some wisdom! I love CAL, but always great to hear new experience, strength and hope. And there are those times it's 2am and I want to call my sponsor, now I have a place to say it :) Me and my sto...

el-cee · el-cee

My life has been on hold for a while now. Especially during this weekend. Son is out getting drunk again. I have not slept very well since he left Friday afternoon. He has not came back yet but I have been jumpy and anxious. I have been on my own all weekend its as if my friends and family sense this and have le...

anon · anon

i have been dating a recovering alcoholic for the past 9 months. we are deeply in love with eachother and very committed. he has been so open about his recovery, and we are both very committed to self growth. we do fight, but we always come out on the other side with lessons gains and a better understandin...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I wrote yesterday re: "let go let God" The phone rang early this morning, my SIL, I didn't pick up. I got so anxious about it, my codependent behavior/issues are out of control, I can't stand the thought of someone being in pain. I prayed about it, called my sponsor and prayed about it ag...

John · John

This morning I got up to find my dog unable to move, pretty non responsive. I took him back to the vet.. After blood work it was determined he has pantricis and kidney shutting down. They are going to keep him for 2-3 days and do all they can but told me to get myself ready to have him put down if they can't get h...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I just received this email from my AS. He has been doing pretty good lately going to AA even. It's not easy and I just don't know how to take it. He is a good guy with a very kind heart. I just always paid him for everything he did...hence emabling I'm sure. Yes I'm looking for ESH here my MIP family. MOM I...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

A lot of well meaning people have been trying to tell me that I need to turn AH in somehow. He rents cars out of state while traveling for work and drives them illegally because he's on a restricted interlock device license issued in our state. My friend suggested I call the rental car company and make t...

Temple · Temple

Yesterday I read "Dewey: The Small Town Library Cat Who Touched the World." Vicki Myron, the author, writes about her marriage to an alcoholic and something I found interesting was, she quotes a Dr. Christine Bell, one of her heroes, as saying: "Everyone has a pain thermometer th...

kellyp1965 · kellyp1965

My son, 18, has been struggling with a heroin addiction for several years. We dealt with the failing grades, the stolen valuables, and all of the lies. Now, after 2 stints in rehab, he is 165 days sober and living in a sober house in Illinois. Now that he is out of the house, I look around at my surroundi...

Annie1234 · Annie1234

So, my AH, who was doing so well with not drinking for 49 days, has now drank beer, on two occasions within the past three weeks. The first time, after his 49 days of sobriety, he only had 4 beers, which is really good for him. The second time, which was two Saturdays ago, I have no idea how many he had. We g...

Stevey Y · Stevey Y

Hi. I am currently dating a recovering alcoholic. She has been clean and sober for four years now. We have only been dating for not quite two months. She is great, but I don't love her, and think we should break up. She is almost a decade younger than me, and we work together as well. Can anyone give me some a...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

I almost let my a/a daughter get me in the middle of another cyclone, this time using her 8 y.o. daughter. A couple of weeks ago she went to visit her daughter and her X-husband, she said she was going to stay for a few wks. "to get clean" anyway, she stayed for a wk. came back, saying she wanted...

learning · learning

With heavy heart I said, "I come to you in need of help. Let me explain." (I proceeded.) (Silence) A few days later.... I repeat, "I really need your help with this problem." (Again I state my request.) (Silence) A while later and frustrat...

alanon23 · alanon23

When does a person who feels guilt and sadness for leaving someone who is mentally abusive and an alcoholic and pot smoker able to let it go. I remember the good times and my husband who I legally separated from blames me for everything and still refuses to accept responsiblity for his actions. He say...

Fool4You · Fool4You

My A just called me after not hearing from him for two weeks. He called using someone's cell phone on the street begging me for $20. He said it was a matter of life and death. Riiiight. We live in an area with a subway and he said he'll meet me at one of the subway stations. I have no intention of giving him mon...

MoominMama · MoominMama

Hi This is all completely new to me, but I just feel so upset and alone I needed to try and talk to someone that might understand. I have been with my partner for 18 months. We are both in our 40s and have children from previous marriages. We don't live together but spend a lot of time with each other, general...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Thanks to all who commented on my post yesterday. It was wonderful to know I had friends thinking of me and sending good thoughts. One day at a time, and we are on day two of this chaos. I don't know where AH spent the night, but he called me this morning, with a half-hearted apology. That's when I told him th...

Number30 · Number30

Good morning, I thought I'd share a new technique I'm trying during this rough patch. I'm not sure if it is making a difference for me yet, but I'm trying it out. Background: A few nights ago AH and I went to an event that was very important to me. I had waited months, and was nervous about it as he is actively...

el-cee · el-cee

-- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:18:52 AM -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:20:26 AM -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:23:24 AM

Jerry F · Jerry F

It is very comforting and supportive coming here and reading the ESH which my recovery often stands on. John's share of needing a break and Paris's share with her husbands response to her reaction and ILD's growth. Actually all of it is supportive to my program. I get to read these growths with my e...

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

We need a chair for tomorrows 9 a.m. eastern meeting. I will not be able to chair three morning meetings a week. Please volunteer. We need chairs and greeters for Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday mornings. -- Edited by RobinKSC on Wednesday 13th of February 2013 09:37:58 AM

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

PM myself, tigger or overcome for more details....

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

Thought I would share something I have been learning about in regards to disfunctional relationships. Before I ran like hell from my alcoholic marriage, I was introduced to the theory ( or whatever you would call it) of the Distancer and the pursuer by a marriage counseled and I think it rings to true i...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hello? HP? Are you there? (Preview) I know that my HP only gives me what I can take, and gently places me in the right place according to HP's plan, not mine. However, today I am struggling. I called my AH's therapist earlier this week, told him I had had enough and that I needed to schedule a family meeting at the rehab facility to hopefully w...	blondie99	9	609	Feb 24, 2013 by blondie99
	confronting lying A (Preview) Tonight my A is going out with her drinking buddies and she is telling me she is working. I asked her to just please tell me the truth-nope. I'm angry but not devastated. I need to stay calm later when I see her after the lies. I probably will shut down and not want to talk to her. She will tell me I have a p...	Lyne	5	569	Feb 23, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Need to make amends to you (Preview) Even long time Al Anoners can mess up. As I have shared my manfriend has filed D from his wife. It takes about 6 months to be final. We had met here at MIP many, many years ago and we have been best friends only. We were both married to a's. I was freed by man by adultery. Now he is also freed by his wife. We both ha...	Debilyn	11	571	Feb 23, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	please help (Preview) I am new here, this is my first post. I really need support.....I will give you my life in a nutshell.....I have two boys..one is 15 and one is 9.....I live with my alcoholic partner....he does not work, and I support all of us......I travel for a living...... My partner and I have been together for 11 y...	KELLY88	10	348	Feb 23, 2013 by KELLY88
	STEP 10 (Preview) Hi MIP Family IN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL Step 10 has been posted to the Step Work Board http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52723393/step-10-alanon/	hotrod	3	270	Feb 23, 2013 by hotrod
	Letting go of anger (Preview) I spent some time thinking through my frustrations and anger that I was feeling towards my AH for all the years of let down and finally the abandonment. After some reflection I came to accept that in part, it was that I was angry at myself for having put up with it for so long, allowing myself to be treated...	cinders	3	433	Feb 23, 2013 by el-cee
	Coping with Anxiety (Preview) Hi Everyone, Lately, I have been experiencing a lot of anxiety. My problem is that this anxiety is unwarranted and it's getting better but it can't stop. One thing I am worried about is that I will one day snap and cause a lot of distress for everyone around me, much like my parents did. They are both menta...	slogan_jim	9	524	Feb 23, 2013 by atheos
	Checking In (Preview) I've been feeling very sad, lonely, anxious and depressed for the past few weeks. My Mom passed unexpectedly in May from stomach cancer - diagnosed and ten days later she died, at the age of 58. My AH has not made any progress in his program and has been (unsuccessfully) trying to persuade me that he's...	Mlkiss75	4	299	Feb 23, 2013 by Overcome
	Max is back at vets (Preview) Woke up to my dog Max mouning this morning. He couldn't stand on his legs. I picked him up and he callapsed in my arms. Limp and barely rsponding to me. I rushed him back to the vets office. Please say a "max" prayer this morning. John	John	12	523	Feb 23, 2013 by Debilyn
	What to do? (Preview) I've been trying to decide if I wanted to post this or not, mostly because I know when I post this I will sound super-pathetic for keeping him around. Because that is how I feel. I want to be the strong, intelligent, independent woman that I used to be, but I can't find her. The only way to describe this we...	cRaZyJaDe	7	434	Feb 23, 2013 by Debilyn
	Saturday- Duck Joke. (Preview) Its Saturday here in Sunny old New Zealand. its bin warm this summer, after a wet spring. The cherries have all bin picked, but followed by apricots, nectarine and them kinds of fruit. The grapes are the last to be picked. Ah well, I know they are grown to make gutrot, but the growers here believe they do m...	DavidG	5	429	Feb 23, 2013 by Overcome
	don't have much to say... (Preview) I don't have much to say but I will say this: I haven't been on the computer for a few days so I haven't been able to post. I usually try to say something when I get on here. I guess I just can't shut up! No seriously. I have been reading a really good book lately--not alanon approved but good none the less. I jus...	Hoot Nanny	3	323	Feb 23, 2013 by Overcome
	acceptance on it's way....s-l-o-w-l-y (Preview) today i'm posting here, just out of tiredness of being sad and hopeless. Am not feeling right inside...still a lot of anger and guilt, and disappointment and resentment. i know time will make this right, and hope and kindness will be back in place. right now there is emptiness. or is it the calm after th...	tortuga	5	528	Feb 23, 2013 by hotrod
	Why do I feel quilty (Preview) A couple of days ago my son wanted to help me at the house doing work that I don't get done all the time. I prayed about it and let it go but he continued to ask...PLEASE just let me do something. So I said OK, you know where the quad is and the dragger. Go up there and drag the property, pull any weeds and trim...	Cathyinaz	12	465	Feb 23, 2013 by Jerry F
	Regretting getting an award at work yesterday (Preview) I got an award at work for finding something a few months ago wrong with an aircraft- an 8 inch cut in one of the tails underneath while the pilot was started up getting ready to take off. Im a contractor for the government and I work on F18 Hornets. As an inspector, I am obligated to stop the launch, and I did...	AlAnonDave	17	458	Feb 23, 2013 by lightblue2
	Denial (Preview) Errm I am really starting to think about my denial over things, although I like to belive I am an honest person, I am thinking denial is far from honest, yet I have only just started thinking about this, if honesty and denial are what I am doing I am not actually being honest, did my denial happen because of...	Katy	5	1007	Feb 22, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Tired of being shamed... (Preview) I'm getting so fed up with aw finding fault with everything I do. Even though I know that I've done nothing wrong it hurts that she makes me out to be this completely self centered uncaring person. Because I would not drop my plans to go the gym today and take son to get new eyeglasses then I "care more...	dponlyme	6	544	Feb 22, 2013 by canadianguy
	avatar? (Preview) I woudl like to include an avatar on my message board posts. I can't fin a place for profile or preferences. I posted on the tech section yesterday but have not gotten a rely yet. Can anybody tell me how I put in an avatar? LIN	afglin	4	297	Feb 22, 2013 by hotrod
	I want to see my blind spots..not sure my self inventory is going so well..feedback please (Preview) Although my hubbie has been in recovery for 4 years (me about 8) I still experience the same hurt (now I am aware of the hurt, before al anon I would not acknowledge it) from the same kinds of choices he made when he was in the active stages of his substance/sexual addictions. Throughout our marriage, he...	PP	8	418	Feb 22, 2013 by PP
	Anniversary #2 (Preview) This is for all sake and purposes my wedding anniverary .. we would have been married this year for 14 years together for 17. Last year we went and had a date night as we were still together in a very weird way .. however .. it was a disaster. At least that's how I remember it. I had a wonderful meal .. I wan...	Pushka	5	318	Feb 22, 2013 by Pushka
	feeling sick (Preview) My mind has been sick again lately. I've been feeling a bit resentful and intolerant. I think my behaviour is not too bad. Im hiding my feelings but my thinking is horrible. I have no one to blame either. I want these shortcomings removed please.	el-cee	6	338	Feb 22, 2013 by rehprof
	So lost (Preview) I have let myself spend the the day at home alone crying for the first time in ages. This week I visited a lawyer, beginning the divorce process from my AH of 10 years, who has been living on his own for almost 18 months now. During this 18 months, I hoped he would find sobriety and we would make things work. I...	sookie	11	480	Feb 22, 2013 by el-cee
	Why is it??? (Preview) So early this morning I get to thinking, "Why do I care if someone is mad at me?" I can understand the reasononing of the problem, I know I am right. I also know the other person has lied and betrayed people, people where I had to stick up for them, and now you are mad at me because I voiced a truth...	1976love	4	303	Feb 22, 2013 by f2fmember
	Are you 'xxxx' kidding me? (Preview) OK...all the serenity I have built on for the last week is GONE. My AH called me today...was supposed to officially be his first day out of blackout in rehab, but he's called me pretty much every day. It started as a nice conversation, I was telling him I am home today under the weather. He said that he's b...	blondie99	6	639	Feb 21, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Handling lies and resulting anger (Preview) I am finding that my biggest issue is my growing anger at the lies I am being told. I know it's the disease he has. I know it's alcoholism. I can tell myself these things until I'm blue in the face but it doesn't make me like it any less. I HATE being lied to. It's as simple as that. I have no idea how to liv...	ilovedogs	15	626	Feb 21, 2013 by Cheri_Swanson
	garbage list as temper tantrum (Preview) Hello and good morning, I'm back into active daily program. After the events this weekend i questioned myself a lot, my trust in myself, my self-worth, my anger, my resentments. I went way back low, to feel so much hurt and self-deception. And Jerry recommended to throw a temper tantrum. I had to think...	tortuga	5	432	Feb 21, 2013 by Jennifer
	Max Update & God story... (Preview) My lil' dog, Max is back home!! I had taken him to the vet on Friday, got supportive care, took him home, was okay saturday, sunday started showing signs of not being very well, and Monday morning was non responsive at all. The only thing on his body that he could move was his eyes. He was limp. He spent...	John	6	357	Feb 21, 2013 by Temple
	Relationships and dealing with turmoil (Preview) Thanks for the warm welcomes Right now I am in the midst of turmoil with my AH. He has been clean a year now. I am happy and proud he has remained clean, but that seems to be the only part of his program he is working. He thinks his program is great. I will not take his inventory to him, but have felt the nee...	Breezie	5	603	Feb 21, 2013 by Breezie
	She's Dead (Preview) Hi, I'm new. My alcoholic mother passed away at the age of 53 Feb. 2. She had nothing prepared, left me with a mess and I've finally gotten her laid to rest. I still have to take care of her apartment and bills. I new this day was coming for five years. I knew in the end she would die alone with just me to take car...	ChristineD	12	596	Feb 21, 2013 by ChristineD
	Another day at the vets... (Good News!) (Preview) Hi everyone, First I want to thank everyone for your warm, loving and supportive words as I trudge through this hard time regarding my dog Max. Your letting me just share it here, have a place to dump my heart out means so much to me. I saw Max this morning. And he is doing sooo much better. The vet says he...	John	9	629	Feb 21, 2013 by grateful2be
	Anger and resentment leaving me with hate (Preview) So yesterday when I had the 2nd oldest out doing his driving training, as he went to open the door to get out of the vehicle, the door handled snapped off. So today I am headed out with what is left of my day off to work on fixing the handle because I am not interested in climbing over the center console to get...	cinders	7	510	Feb 21, 2013 by abbyalana
	trying to keep my focus (Preview) First I am thankful for all of the ESH I have received from these boards; am so grateful to be able to come here. I know that I have to keep the focus on me, not my A and his disease, and I have been dedicated to daily reading of literature, almost daily meetings, and listening. That being said, it is so diff...	yanksfan51	6	367	Feb 21, 2013 by Annie1234
	How will he know when he has reached the bottom? (Preview) How will he know when he has reached the bottom? Will he figure out what to do next? As I said previously my son is in Phuket Thailand where he just blew away what he considered the very best situation ever. Now he is alone in a room, rent is paid through the end of the month, no money, no friends, no motorbike...	laurab	9	387	Feb 20, 2013 by laurab
	AH checked himself in for help. Progress! (Preview) I have to share that my AH got himself to the hospital today and begins a 5 day inpatient program tomorrow. I don't have any details. He hasn't told me any of this. He has only communicated with his brother via text. I know he is angry, embarrassed, etc. with me. I also know that this is only the first step. I...	ParisMemories	7	346	Feb 20, 2013 by afglin
	Feeling blocked from ending 4 year relationship (Preview) Hi all, First, I've been an on-again-off-again member of al-anon for years. I haven't been to a f2f meeting in a while. I know that I really need to go back though. I've been in a relationship with my ABF for 4 years now. The first few months were great but looking back now, the whole rest has been a mess of em...	Sangyaa	6	490	Feb 20, 2013 by tortuga
	Having a moment .. HELP!! (Preview) Ok, .. so I got a call this AM from the STBAX and guess what .. he's been in a car accident and is calling me for a ride home. He's ok if you consider a badly broken wrist ok, and a broken bone under his eye. Now knock me over with a feather .. trust me when I say the last person in the world I would call if I did ANYT...	Pushka	8	459	Feb 20, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Wish I was at the bottom (Preview) Today I am struggling. I WANT to be at my bottom-the point where I walk away (with love). I want to be done, but I've admitted that I'm not. I'm not there (at the "10" mentioned in another post the other day). To be clear, I'm not deciding divorce, simply pondering asking him to leave until clea...	Number30	2	325	Feb 20, 2013 by Mattie
	Glad to find you!! (Preview) Hello friends! New here, been in Al-Anon almost a year now. So grateful to find a place I can come at any time for some wisdom! I love CAL, but always great to hear new experience, strength and hope. And there are those times it's 2am and I want to call my sponsor, now I have a place to say it :) Me and my sto...	Breezie	3	286	Feb 20, 2013 by el-cee
	Living. On hold! (Preview) My life has been on hold for a while now. Especially during this weekend. Son is out getting drunk again. I have not slept very well since he left Friday afternoon. He has not came back yet but I have been jumpy and anxious. I have been on my own all weekend its as if my friends and family sense this and have le...	el-cee	6	371	Feb 20, 2013 by el-cee
	recovering alcoholics and porn (Preview) i have been dating a recovering alcoholic for the past 9 months. we are deeply in love with eachother and very committed. he has been so open about his recovery, and we are both very committed to self growth. we do fight, but we always come out on the other side with lessons gains and a better understandin...	anon	21	5731	Feb 20, 2013 by John
	Losing my serenity! (Preview) I wrote yesterday re: "let go let God" The phone rang early this morning, my SIL, I didn't pick up. I got so anxious about it, my codependent behavior/issues are out of control, I can't stand the thought of someone being in pain. I prayed about it, called my sponsor and prayed about it ag...	Highlyfavored	2	301	Feb 19, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Dog back at vet today... (Preview) This morning I got up to find my dog unable to move, pretty non responsive. I took him back to the vet.. After blood work it was determined he has pantricis and kidney shutting down. They are going to keep him for 2-3 days and do all they can but told me to get myself ready to have him put down if they can't get h...	John	10	560	Feb 19, 2013 by kellyp1965
	Email from my son (Preview) I just received this email from my AS. He has been doing pretty good lately going to AA even. It's not easy and I just don't know how to take it. He is a good guy with a very kind heart. I just always paid him for everything he did...hence emabling I'm sure. Yes I'm looking for ESH here my MIP family. MOM I...	Cathyinaz	13	499	Feb 19, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Pressure from family and friends (Preview) A lot of well meaning people have been trying to tell me that I need to turn AH in somehow. He rents cars out of state while traveling for work and drives them illegally because he's on a restricted interlock device license issued in our state. My friend suggested I call the rental car company and make t...	ilovedogs	3	307	Feb 19, 2013 by rehprof
	Pain Thermometer. (Preview) Yesterday I read "Dewey: The Small Town Library Cat Who Touched the World." Vicki Myron, the author, writes about her marriage to an alcoholic and something I found interesting was, she quotes a Dr. Christine Bell, one of her heroes, as saying: "Everyone has a pain thermometer th...	Temple	4	330	Feb 19, 2013 by PP
	I need new friends (Preview) My son, 18, has been struggling with a heroin addiction for several years. We dealt with the failing grades, the stolen valuables, and all of the lies. Now, after 2 stints in rehab, he is 165 days sober and living in a sober house in Illinois. Now that he is out of the house, I look around at my surroundi...	kellyp1965	9	421	Feb 19, 2013 by kellyp1965
	Why am I crying? (Preview) So, my AH, who was doing so well with not drinking for 49 days, has now drank beer, on two occasions within the past three weeks. The first time, after his 49 days of sobriety, he only had 4 beers, which is really good for him. The second time, which was two Saturdays ago, I have no idea how many he had. We g...	Annie1234	5	324	Feb 19, 2013 by yanksfan51
	Breakup question (Preview) Hi. I am currently dating a recovering alcoholic. She has been clean and sober for four years now. We have only been dating for not quite two months. She is great, but I don't love her, and think we should break up. She is almost a decade younger than me, and we work together as well. Can anyone give me some a...	Stevey Y	3	346	Feb 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	Letting go, Letting God!! (Preview) I almost let my a/a daughter get me in the middle of another cyclone, this time using her 8 y.o. daughter. A couple of weeks ago she went to visit her daughter and her X-husband, she said she was going to stay for a few wks. "to get clean" anyway, she stayed for a wk. came back, saying she wanted...	Highlyfavored	2	309	Feb 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	Hearing (Preview) With heavy heart I said, "I come to you in need of help. Let me explain." (I proceeded.) (Silence) A few days later.... I repeat, "I really need your help with this problem." (Again I state my request.) (Silence) A while later and frustrat...	learning	2	295	Feb 19, 2013 by Fool4You
	Blame Game (Preview) When does a person who feels guilt and sadness for leaving someone who is mentally abusive and an alcoholic and pot smoker able to let it go. I remember the good times and my husband who I legally separated from blames me for everything and still refuses to accept responsiblity for his actions. He say...	alanon23	2	305	Feb 19, 2013 by Fool4You
	A beacon no more (Preview) My A just called me after not hearing from him for two weeks. He called using someone's cell phone on the street begging me for $20. He said it was a matter of life and death. Riiiight. We live in an area with a subway and he said he'll meet me at one of the subway stations. I have no intention of giving him mon...	Fool4You	5	305	Feb 19, 2013 by Fool4You
	So upset by his denial and hurtful behaviour (Preview) Hi This is all completely new to me, but I just feel so upset and alone I needed to try and talk to someone that might understand. I have been with my partner for 18 months. We are both in our 40s and have children from previous marriages. We don't live together but spend a lot of time with each other, general...	MoominMama	13	527	Feb 19, 2013 by MoominMama
	Day Two... (Preview) Thanks to all who commented on my post yesterday. It was wonderful to know I had friends thinking of me and sending good thoughts. One day at a time, and we are on day two of this chaos. I don't know where AH spent the night, but he called me this morning, with a half-hearted apology. That's when I told him th...	ParisMemories	3	287	Feb 18, 2013 by learning
	Trying something new (Preview) Good morning, I thought I'd share a new technique I'm trying during this rough patch. I'm not sure if it is making a difference for me yet, but I'm trying it out. Background: A few nights ago AH and I went to an event that was very important to me. I had waited months, and was nervous about it as he is actively...	Number30	4	438	Feb 18, 2013 by Afraidparent
	Nice quote (Preview) -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:18:52 AM -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:20:26 AM -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 18th of February 2013 11:23:24 AM	el-cee	5	309	Feb 18, 2013 by Afraidparent
	Listen also with your eyes... (Preview) It is very comforting and supportive coming here and reading the ESH which my recovery often stands on. John's share of needing a break and Paris's share with her husbands response to her reaction and ILD's growth. Actually all of it is supportive to my program. I get to read these growths with my e...	Jerry F	6	320	Feb 18, 2013 by PP
	Tomorrow's AM meeting, please do not delete this message, we do not have a chair, please step up to chair and greet (Preview) We need a chair for tomorrows 9 a.m. eastern meeting. I will not be able to chair three morning meetings a week. Please volunteer. We need chairs and greeters for Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday mornings. -- Edited by RobinKSC on Wednesday 13th of February 2013 09:37:58 AM	RobinKSC	7	385	Feb 18, 2013 by RobinKSC
	We are still looking for chairs and greeters for Wed Thursday and Sunday mornings, we will train you.. (Preview) PM myself, tigger or overcome for more details....	RobinKSC	0	214	Feb 18, 2013 by RobinKSC
	The Pursuer and the Distancer (Preview) Thought I would share something I have been learning about in regards to disfunctional relationships. Before I ran like hell from my alcoholic marriage, I was introduced to the theory ( or whatever you would call it) of the Distancer and the pursuer by a marriage counseled and I think it rings to true i...	GreenerGrass	8	5622	Feb 18, 2013 by ilovedogs
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.