The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I work and I work hard. Of course this time of year is extremely slow for pressure washing and painting. But I keep putting the word out there and catch a job or two a week, which just allows me to hold on until spring. I even sold my Ford F250 work truck and got a small Nissian truck which saves me a bunch on gas money, Sold my motorcycle a few months ago as well and rented a room in my apartment. Just trying so hard to keep things from spiralling downhill, and trying to keep my lifestyle down to the right size. Well, this past month has been hell.
Beginning of the month. I get 400.00 in utility bills and 400.00 in work. I'm grateful. God has my back! Right on time!
While doing the second of 3 jobs, the pump goes out on my pressure washer. New pump cost 450.00! And that is a deal. It's an industrial washer and the pump for it usually goes for about 600.00! (4200psi @ 5.5 gpm) Well, without my pressure washer running I'm flat in the water. That's what I use to make a living. So, I have to let the bills go, and get the pump. In short, I end up working for my equipment instead of being able to pay my bills.
The next week, I get 2 good easy to do, fast, good paying jobs. The money will be made for and is ear marked for the bills! I'm grateful, God has my back! Right on time! I get the jobs done, all is good! I'm on my way to the bank to make the deposit... and the truck dies. Cranks, won't start. Have to have it towed to a repair shop, only to find out the fuel pump has gone out and it plus the towing bill is going to be 440.00! In short, I end up working to get my work truck back on the road, for without it, I'm unable to get my equipment to any jobs I get....instead of being able to pay my bills again.
Now while all this is going on, I am just trying to get my electric and water bill paid, and not only is this not happening, I'm getting other bills, like cell phone bill (which is the only phone I have and its where I get all my calls for work, MIP housing inquiries ect), auto liability insurance, cable/internet...
This week, I do a few estimates and get a few small jobs worth 530.00. I am grateful, God has my back! Right on time! I get up, get ready to head out the door to go do this work and one of my little dogs crawls out from under the bed (which he usually sleeps on), on his belly. I pick him up, he is shaking like a leaf. I put him down and he can't support himself, he is too weak. It is obvious I have a very sick dog on my hands. I take him as a walk-in to a veterinian clinic. They say I will need to leave him so they can fit him in between scheduled appointments and they will get to him asap, and call me on the job with what they determine the problem is, and its cost. Two hours later I get the call. My dog has a very severe upper sinus infection and bad pneumonia virus in his respriatory system. They need to treat him aggressively or put him down. There is no middle of the road solution. Cost to treat him would be approximately 500.00! I am at awe! There was nothing apparently wrong with him the day before! Why were there not any signs of this previously to him crawling out from under the bed?? I'm questioning them in such a way that they state that I am welcome to take him else where for a second opinion, but in doing so, I'd owe them 150.00 for the blood work, examine and meds they have already provided, and I'm not going to get a different diag. no matter how much I want one. The vet Dr. explains to me that a small dog, like mine (I have two white Maltese and a black mini Poodle, which altogether on a scale only weigh about 17 lbs, not each, but all of them on it at once!) anyways, he tells me that their personalities coupled with their immune system is such that something like this can go undetected because the dogs can appear viberate and well, throughout the onset of the illness, but their immune system cannot hold out once it hits them hard. Often by the time the symtoms are visual or obvious, the dog is as close to death as it can get. The dogs system liver and kidney starts shutting down, in just a few hours time. I am lucky I saw and got to him when I did or my dog would be dead by the end of the day! Now, what do I want to do??? The vet tells me that they cannot extend any credit or work out any payment plan, its cash, credit card or check at time of pick up. If I put him down, I'll have to pay the 150.00 for what they have done thus far and 125.00 for putting him under. If I try to have him saved, it could get as high as 500.00 as they will likely have to treat him and keep him for two or three days minimum.
Some might think.. this is just a dog, let it go and get out before the bill gets any bigger! But to me its not just a dog. His life is worth to me every dollar the vet might have to charge to save him. I won't go into why, but me putting this dog down to save a few hundred dollars just won't float. So, I agree to let them do what they need to do to save the dogs life. I picked him up this afternoon. He is doing very well now, but still has some recovery to go through. It can just be done here at home from this point. Cost 565.00!
Now tonight, or actually this morning I am sitting here wide awake at 2am, without a dime. Completely broke, not enough to even buy toilet paper, kitty litter or any of the small things that life is made up of, no less pay the bills which have become urgent.
I live a good life. Not extravagant, pretty simple. An apartment I have been in since 2004, a car, a work truck, 3 dogs and two cats. My involvement in AA and Al-Anon is the most valuable part of my daily life. The MIP recovery home is the next most important area of my life. It helps many take their first steps into the world of recovery, and find their place within our rooms, and learn how to live clean and sober one day at a time. While there is not a mergin of profit from doing this, the guys have been good about taking care of things so that their home is self supporting now and I'm not having to struggle to see that their bills are paid as well. I just need to pay my own personal bills now. I am grateful for that!!
Today I am faced with a utility being turned off and car insurance canceled if I don't find a way to pay them before 4pm.
I am hopeful and I pray that my phone will ring early this morning for a job to be done today. I will live in a place of faith and trust in my Higher Power. I know He has my back and shows up right on time, when I'm about to give up hope. He might work in the 11th hour and show up at 11:59, but He never shows up at 12:01, late. I have to believe that today will be no different.
Below is a picture of my dog that just got out of the vet. He looks very happy to be back home.
John
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" And what did we gain? A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."
Hi John, Sending prayers and (((((((hugs)))))))) and gratitude to you. I'm so sorry you've had these ghastly extra expenses rolling in at you over the past month. I am looking at the gratitude and love in your dogs beautiful button eyes and it seems to me he thinks you are a very ok dude - you've got got your priorities spot on!
Been where you are more times that I care to count. The worst I think was when I had to find a way to buy Hubby's $1000 RX that he needed before surgery could be done and w/o the surgery, we were looking a death. Yep, God had my back! ..but I can't even begin to describe the feelings & emotions what went along with it.
Late one night, my 15yo border collie went into a major seizure, vet estimated $1500-2000 just to keep him overnight & assess him. I just had to make that dreaded decsion to send him back to God.
When this kind of stuff happens, I have to put my emotions & feelings in stealth mode, beg my HP to walk with me as HE always does - just sometimes, I wish HE'd act a little quicker...lol
I'll keep a prayer in my heart that the phone rings. (((((BIG HUG)))))
John, I'm so sorry that you are in this place. I've been there so often myself, and recently too. How awesome that you can still thank God for His mercies. Keep the faith. I will be praying that He gives you what you need, and that you are able to hold off the creditors who are growing impatient. Stay strong and faithful. I will be praying for you, that God gives you "enough". That's my prayer for myself and my family every day.
sending love and support, you constantly remind me that God does show up and is never late.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
we have two fur-mobiles here, of that same white variety... toys on legs really.
I asked my Hp for answers- my financial situation is similar. The solution for me would be to cut our own firewood instead of buying it in and donating the difference.
Bill and Lois W. arose out of the 1929 crash. Bill was mortified, as a stock broker, that he was a small part of that. And AA grew out of the deep dark despair of those times... it isn't much different now, though NZ and Australia are faring just a bit better.
The irony is that most likely this will be a time when people will turn to the 12 step groups for answers. Ok, and yes, we ARE here for ourselves, but an essential part of recovery is reaching out.
It was fantastic to see the new format for the chat meetings. I come here to the Alanon board for support [and i do find it!] But mostly I am on the ACA board. It is a real team effort. But so far so good- the access to the meetings has improved and we are getting more people joining in.
It is really good to get your testimony. This is family and all our concerns are family concerns. The MIP programme is unique and independent. We get to promote just what works for us. And judging by the sharing I see here every day- the regular 12 step groups must see MIP as a valuable resource.
Tradition 8 provides for people who use their own time and resources to further the programme. Maybe long term it might pay for that to be 'out there' and a part of our combined group conscience.
I would welcome further thoughts and opinions, and regular updates, John, at to how you are getting on...
Speedy recovery wishes for your furred one. I have been in those situations. Especially when Sully's signs of lymphoma showed up overnight. There were people who helped me quickly and practically with expenses, transportation and a spot to lay him to rest. Even a backhoe operator donated his time. I promised to pass on what I could, when I could. Thank you.
Thanks to everyone, for prayers, financial help, words of encouragement... it all means a great deal to me, beyond what I can describe in mere words. I will simply say that I see a very strong reflection of God in you people, your words and your actions. Thank you for letting me be a witness to it.
I didn't get to go do any work today, but I did get a two calls for estimates, one of which I did, and now he "has to talk it over with the boss" (his wife) and the other estimate I'll do in the morning when the lady of the house is off work. Hopefully between the two I will pull out a job or two. I'll keep ya'll posted. Heck, right now I feel so desparate for work, that I would almost do it for free, just to have something to do besides sit inside my head wondering what I'm going to do. LOL It hasn't been actually a bad day.. me and my HP did a lot of communicating. I put together enough to take care of the water bill before it was scheduled for shut off tomorrow, and my auto insurance is carrying me for 10 days grace period to pay them (only owe 66.03), so now I just need to move on to the next bills in line, and they are hitting me, one right behind the other... with last notices... so if nothing else, put me in your prayers. Most urgent right now is my electric bill of 223.84, followed within just a few days by my cable/internet bill of 132.63. Electric is due Monday and Cable/internet is due Wenesday. They have to be paid by then to avoid disconnects the following day, so while I got some relief today, the crunch is still on big time. This time of year really sucks for pressure washing and painting bids. Alot of the time people are just shopping around for the best price for their spring cleaning plans... so I'm spending gas money driving to do the estimates for work that isn't going to take place... TODAY! LOL Since I know this, I always throw in an enticement that says, "if you do it then when my services are in high demand it will cost blah, blah, blah... but if you let me do it today, while I'm here, I can do it for..." some of them bite the bait and get it done now opposed to later, and others, well, they are stuck on doing it at some future point in time.
Oh, good news too! Regarding Vet and my dog. The dog is doing much better today. He is drinking water and eating on his own now, and went poop outside when I opened the door for the other two. He just wants to be let right back in, where he is usually the last to want to come in and has to be called in a few times to get his attention. He has just hung out on the couch most of the day, but he is not acting all lethargic and not wanting to be bothered. A little bit mounie, but I think he is playing it for all the attention he can get! LOL So he is coming around. Then... my vet called me this afternoon to find out how the dog was doing, we talked and he asked me about taking a look at his house and giving him a price on pressure washing it the first week of March. I told him I already figured it out... it would be 565.00, no payment plan, cash, credit card or check upon completion! We both laughed, and I told him I'd take a look and get back to him with a price before the beginning of the week. So, March might start off much better than Feburary did.. I sure hope so.
Well, thats it folks... I'm still sober, I'm still alive and so is everyone I have had contact with today... so all things considered... its another successful day.
Again, thanks for your words of encouragement, your prayers and your financial help. It is all very valuable to me.
John
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" And what did we gain? A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."
