Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> New Week, New Start--But Where and How?
Post Info TOPIC: New Week, New Start--But Where and How?
Raven Juniper


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 251
Date:
New Week, New Start--But Where and How?
Permalink  

Hello everybody, well, I thought today would be a good day as any to take the first step, but I don't even know how to begin. I've posted a few times on this forum, always hoping of course, that my ABF would somehow wake up and smell the coffee. The last few days however, I've come to realize that I can't depend on him for anything. I have said of course that the 18 months I've been with him have made me a much stronger person, and this is true. But I can't seem to get rid of the anger and resentment that many of you here have mentioned. I have to acknowledge that I'm angry. I'm angry at him and myself. Some days (like today) I don't understand why I keep wasting my time with him. He's completely oblivious to anything other than his own interests which are alcohol, marijuana, online gaming and cigarettes. I don't get acknowleged for anything, unless he wants to tell me about his gaming experiences of the day. How can I feign interest when I come home and see the house such a mess, just waiting for me to clean up after him? The beer cans and bottles, the full ashtrays, the stinky socks....I'm just tired of it all. Of course, in his eyes, I'm the one with the problem, because I'm the one who gets upset that he's doing what he loves.

Do I even love this man anymore? Sometimes, I just don't know. I would take myself out for a day away from it all, but of course the car isn't running dependably, because he hasn't worked on it as he's promised, and I can't afford a mechanic at this point.

I guess I just needed to vent. I've gone to a f2f meeting, but it didn't seem to be for me. The people at the only meeting in this area all seem to know each other and it doesn't seem to follow the steps. It's more like a reunion of old friends and sharing is not encouraged or even possible. At this point, I'm looking into counseling for "my problem." I don't understand how to work the steps as an Al-Anon participant. Any advice or direction would be very appreciated. Thank you.

 



__________________
el-cee


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 5075
Date:
Permalink  

I'm sorry you haven't found a meeting that has helped you. Mines is so valuable to me. There is a step board on this site. Also there is helpful books and pamphlets. I use the steps booklet, courage to change and the odat. All available online at the alanon website. At the back of these books there is each step and you can look at the readings that relate to each step. I recommend persevering as they hold the key to a new way to think ans see life. Good luck on your journey.x

__________________
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:
Permalink  

Hi Raven

I am so sorry that the face to face meetings in your community are not up to the standards and the format outlined by alanon World Service.

We do have excellent on line meetings here 2xs a day and I urge you to connect. This is a we program. Which means that "We" cannot do this alone. Together, with the help of each other and a higher power we learn and support each other on this spiritual journey

http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

Our Current Meeting Schedule is:
Group Business Meeting held in this room on
The FIRST SUNDAY OF EACH MONTH immediately following 7PM meeting.

(Morning Meetings)
Mon. - Fri. at 9am eastern time
Sat - Sun. - 10am eastern time

(Nite Meetings)
Mon -Saturday 9PM eastern time
Sunday 7PM eastern time

You can point your web browser at us at any time and join the room for general and supportive chat.
http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

I hope we will see you at tonight's 9PM (eastern time) meeting.

John

Also, for those who are computer software savvy you can also download mIRC, an IRC chat client program and set it up to enter the room.
Upon downloading and opening mIRC, Just add irc.chat4all.org to your server list and #alanonchat to your channels list.



__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:
Permalink  

 

 

Aloha Raven...I remember first getting into the program and coming to the meetins with "My" idea of what "they" should do and I had no idea the problem was alcoholism...I didn't know and didn't know that I didn't know.  I knew I was POed and I knew it was the world fault...not mine...so I left and as I learned later they knew that when I left it would get worse for me while I still didn't know and didn't know that I didn't know.  I had no experience or awareness to comment on them and I wouldn't talk to them about what was going on with me.  Months later I got back into the rooms still alive...with a breath and a heartbeat and thats all while I had plans to stop that also.  When I really got in I heard the words "give the program a chance" which I did and I heard do "90 meetings in 90 days" which was very doable in the area I got into Al-Anon and so I did 102 in 90 days and they told me don't make any major decisions about my life and marriage and other important things for 2 years and I followed that also.  I became a follower and the fellowship led me into a life I would not surrender for anything today.  The suggestions of meetings, literature, Steps, Tradiitons, slogans, sponsors and other powers greater than yourself are the keys to peace of mind and serenity...so is MIP.   Keep coming back  ((((Hugs)))) smile



__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> New Week, New Start--But Where and How?