Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

justlearning · justlearning

As exciting it is to see your loved one recover, how do you deal with them reinventing themselves into someone you don't know. Almost a selfishness of I don't care what you think.

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

This morning has been a bit hard. I'm having trouble giving my AM over to my HP....its consuming my thoughts which isn't a good thing... Any prayers would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Heather 68 · Heather 68

I opened that door by calling the ex AB and picking up the phone after he kept hanging up on me. Of course he had been drinking, gives him beer muscles. So in for a lot of tears today. I heard "I never stopped loving you" and WTF I believed it. He tried so hard to get me to come to him but I was on to the m...

lnc12 · lnc12

So, I came face to face today with one of the scariest questions I've ever been asked: "Did you see any red flags before you married your husband?" Me: "Ummm... (long pause) Yes." "Why did you choose to ignore them?" Me: "Oh, just shoot me now and get it over with...

Markmark · Markmark

My wife has been sober now for 18 months and I still sleep down stairs I have no desire to sleep with her. I have not been the best husband in the past and she blames me for her drinking ( I was violent and did join dating agency's ) but I got counselling and she did support me. she thinks we should spit now as thi...

Heather 68 · Heather 68

Feeling lonely so what stupid thing do i do? That's right call the ex AB, who is drinking. Try to talk, not fight, he hangs on me says he is partying and its more fun cuz I'm not around. Tells me " how can you blame all your actions on me"? But I do, I try to tell him I could not handle the alcohol and I d...

lnc12 · lnc12

One of my favorite poems! The JourneyOne day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice - though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. "Mend my life!" each voice cried. But you didn't stop. You...

newwoman · newwoman

My love is now out of rehab and in a few short weeks I find myself being pulled around in his wagon with 3 flat tires. Prior to his exit I was driving a car with 4 inflated tires, now true to form- I have allowed his games to creep back into to my center throwing me out of whack. Granted I am at least aware it is hap...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I can't believe it but it is my mom afterall. We were watching a movie yesterday & my mom exitted before the end. My husband & I were wondering what was wrong? I ended up getting called in a busy movie theater. The manager said" Is there a Kathleen in here? Just after they stopped the movie. A...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

I feel terrible with myself. Over the last 6 months I have had struggles with myself and wife the wife's drinking. I was at a point of detachment with love. I had in my head that as long as she was not abusive to me, neglecting normal things, basically if it was just that I thought she drank too much and no...

mammapepper · mammapepper

I have been going through a lot..here's my story My bestfriend from when I was 14 was addicted to meth ofr years and recovered in 2010 through treatment centers and half way house. I was there for him and in 2011 we decided to be together and live together. I have two kids outside of him and have been divo...

texasgal · texasgal

I have posted before about the weekends which no surprise my AH is already ranting and raving about his job and how terrible it is to work their, etc. I know its just an excuse for him to stay out all weekend again. I have an early shift tonight so I made plans with another program friend to have a late dinner...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

There was a notice in the local newspaper recently about the weekly street sweeping program that resumes on April 1. I smiled when I read it - warm weather is on the way. The streets of my neighborhoood will be swept clean the third Wednesday of every month from April through October, and neighbors who a...

Heather 68 · Heather 68

Well stilling holding up. Was doing better but mourning the lose of my relationship still has my emotions raw. With my HP guiding the way and time I will work throught this. Some days are definitly better and easy than others. I am little sad at times and the bitterness comes and goes. I lost my love to the...

dponlyme · dponlyme

Basically kicked out of the house because wife was drunk and being abusive. No really major physical abuse but enough that it was intolerable. So here I sit the hospital emergency room with tablet. Not because I need medical attention but because they have free wifi. Place is empty. I am the only one in...

Pete · Pete

... sounds like something out of a tabloid magazine, and it probably could be. Wonder whether anyone can offer anything constructive on this... So, after a year of lies, my wife finally admitted to alcoholism in November last year and, after the usual refusals etc, finally agreed to go into rehab in...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

MY HP certainly works in mysterious ways! We are vacationing in Florida, AD daughter is home in PA. She just texted that her support hearing earlier today with her baby Daddy did not go well for her and is continued (yet again!!! ) AND.......that she just got home from a meeting entitled Life or Deat...

forestfairy · forestfairy

My ah is not drinking. He's not drinking and he's not an alcoholic and I've no reason to be going to alanon. He is so angry that he no longer hugs our son or has any interaction with him. He treats him as if he's not there. I think he is doing this because he is in a rage at me because I am getting help through ala...

1976love · 1976love

Sorry if this post is sort of long winded, but it's a definite point I need to share. When I first started Alanon I went because my AH told me it would be a good idea since he was going to AA. I of course agreed and went. I hear the horror stories of growing up with alcoholics and that in no way shape or form wa...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi all Over the last 4 years I have spent most of my time and energy helping and in fear and worry for my son. Now that I've stepped back and practice the tools of Al-anon I'm feeling more like myself again. This week has been a little tough in the fact my son is drinking again and I started my worry again. I...

sunflower22 · sunflower22

http://alanon.activeboard.com/t53059024/should-i-keep-my-sponsor/

Jerry F · Jerry F

It's a God thing cause my HP and I have this kind of relationship. I'm not close to my family and haven't ever been that close. Both sides of my family come from within the disease and at one time we were all active. The relationships were (at least for me) not close and trusting and we had lots and lots o...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t53061486/step-12-alanon/

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon family groups. It's funny how the more you progress and become in tune with your feelings, the more they creep up in places that you never thought they would. Tonight they came up at Ball hockey. I currently play in a local league and...

chinup · chinup

so far ive come to realize that withh all my childhood abuse has effected my relationships with men but im not so sure how its effected my relationships with men or boyfreinds yet i hope i dont fall into denial with this,i dont know how it may have effected my relationships with my siblings since all of my...

blondie99 · blondie99

I was talking to a dear friend who ran into my STBXAH a couple days ago. She said that he was saying "I'm so happy, everything's going so well, I'm doing this and this and this and (Blondie) and I have agreed to be friends even after the divorce." Yeah, right. Pink cloud time - I've seen and heard...

cRaZyJaDe · cRaZyJaDe

I posted a few weeks ago about detaching from my ABF. Tonight I was on my way out the door to my 2nd F2F meeting. On the way out he asked if I would pick up some AA pamphlets for him. My first thought was "sure", but as I was driving to the meeting, I started wondering if I should. I mean, if he wa...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

The topic leader last night shared the March 12th reading from "Hope for Today." It was all about focusing on the positives in life and even jotting a positive word on a daily calendar. I hadn't been to a meeting in a couple of weeks and was worried that I might have a meltdown if the sharing at t...

Katy · Katy

I was just talking to someone yesterday, and said I could never make out I was ill to claim for benifits because I would not like to cry wolf and be punished for it!, They replied that makes me think of your relationship with your husband? and went on to say is that how I see life? He said that at our age we'r...

sunflower22 · sunflower22

Hello, This is my first time on these boards. I have been in Alanon now for 90 days and have had a sponsor since day 1. She at first was very attentive towards me, very encouraging, helpful and motivating. She would say how I am so similar to her and almost like I was her favorite of all her sponsee's. We...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I've been trying to straighten this all out in my head lately, as I come closer and closer to the end of my rope with my AH. I do still struggle with accepting that his addiction/drinking is his business, although I've gotten much better at accepting that. But then we have the whole universe of "un...

dponlyme · dponlyme

It's almost as if the waiting is finally over and I can feel comfortable again. She hadn't drank for over two weeks and now finally I can relax and not have all that terrible hope hanging over my head. She is a mean angry drunk even moreso than usual due to us already at odds with one another... but she is s...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

-- Edited by mercedes1959 on Thursday 21st of March 2013 12:54:17 PM

beckon11 · beckon11

Hi friends, Wondering if any of you have abandonment issues,and pain. I have done so much work on this.Yet it still can really pull me down. Im doing work again on the inner child. Would love to hear from anyone who has experienced this. I know alanon helps alot also. thx beckon11

Jozie · Jozie

Have ya Ever Stepped Down off your Ego Button and had an 'Auh..Hah... Moment' Resently I have been having some "Stinkin thinkin's" going on within my Head, and I have been Reading the Lit, and Doing Alot of differant tools that i Learned to Really get to the surface of it! Well when I Sat Down a...

Heather 68 · Heather 68

Hello All, next chapter of my saga....my ex AB has sent me a few texts trying to stab at I me, I respond with messages of my positive recovery and courage to change my situation. That shuts him up for a day or so, but I finally blocked him from contacting me...again. My last "I love you" but this i...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

I've been so worried and anxious about this court date that AH and I have on March 27. He keeps referring to it as "me vs him" and today I reminded him that it is not me vs him, it is the State vs him. I received my subpoena the other day, which clearly states this. He still thinks he will waltz in fr...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I am really confused. The alcoholic in my life is my boyfriend and we have been through so many " episodes " of his drinking causing complete chaos, weekly, bi weekly.. like you would get your mail or visit the gym. He has embarassed himself in front of me because of the amount of blacking out...

lnc12 · lnc12

First of all, I want to thank everyone here for being so kind and accepting! Oh, and most of all encouraging! It's just so great knowing that I can come on here, vent my hurts and frustrations, and I won't be judged. After almost 7 months of separation from my AH, I did something shocking this morning. I r...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp Peeps... After Some Much Needed Work on ME! I have Found that I Can No Longer Allow "Pity Pot" time for My Woo's... This Last Week has been a Roller Coaster of Emotions for me, and Frankly I'm just Sick to Death of Allowing it time of My Thoughts, & My Actions... I Have Found that when I S...

blondie99 · blondie99

So, as the divorce is progressing and people are starting to find out about what has happened between my STBXAH and me, I have been receiving information on happenings that have occurred, unknowingly to me, over the last several years. The most interesting thing I've heard so far is that both my mom an...

ClearTheFog · ClearTheFog

I have been getting so much out of this board, in lurker-mode, for the past few months. I 'tried' Al-Anon 11 years ago right as my 13 year marriage to my then alcoholic husband was ending. I didn't go back to the meetings at that time . The first meeting I went to had about 30 people in it, which was terrifyin...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I want to post about three things, but I dont want to post three times my creative side wants to tie them in together lets see if I can manage it eh? #1 I love second hand stores and when I get a few minutes/half a morning, I go to town for just that, to browse through my favorites before getting groceries, lun...

John · John

I read your post here, and I hear you, I feel you. We are not that different when it comes to the feelings associated with loving an alcoholic or addict. We hurt, we guess, we question, we wonder, we fear, we give up trying, and then try harder, we attach and then detach, we hold on with all our might, and the...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... I came into this forum last year after going through the Alanon Traditions on this MIP board. i was so impressed. I learned stuff through interacting with the fine people doing this task. At this end of the world keeping Alanon going does take a lot of patience and I feel we need all the help we...

cinders · cinders

I feel like I am in a new stage of grief. I kind of think its a new phase of acceptance. This process sure has been a whirlwind ride of emotions. Most of the time I am doing pretty good and most days I am enjoying my life. I am lonely at times, miss having a partner in my life, someone to hang out with, share s...

Rinn · Rinn

I am so overwhelmed dealing with his last fall off the wagon. He had a huge pain pill problem the last three years. His Dr just gave him more and more then he started buying them when he ran out. It was terrible. We have kids and a mixed family (step kids and shared kids). I feel responsible for holding i...

forestfairy · forestfairy

Hi I'm new to the board and I originally posted this in response to another post, but I'm reposting because I think I should have started a new thread. Much of what I've read here really resonates with me. I too have had my spouse email back a friend and insult them. I too am blamed for everything that goes w...

John · John

Just wanted to let you folks see what your prayers brought about. Max is doing very well, and playing hard and living large. In the beginning of this very short video you can see Lilly Girl tap on Max a few times with her paw..."C'on, play.. its only 2am!" And the fun beguns between them. Thank each an...

gorby928 · gorby928

Hi Im quite new to all of this so please forgive me if I rant a bit. First off I did make the step of going to my first meeting last Friday it felt strange but I was made to feel welcome.It was strange in that I was talking to complete strangers about how my AW problem was affecting me.I do want to go back this wee...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

Tonight my al-anon group discussed rigorous honesty. With ourselves. I really have to say that in relating to this disease, my rigorous honesty lately has been with myself over the last month accepting that my boyfriend is not changing or working on sobriety. At all. All I can do is change myself. As h...

pinnu · pinnu

Hello! I am looking for an online Alanon sponsor to do my steps with. Since I am residing currently in the country where there are no active Alanon meetings available, online meetings would be my only source, Skype chats possible with sponsor. I have separated from my abusive AH but having tough t...

tania31 · tania31

4 days ago my husband admitted to me and his family that he is an alcoholic. He has started AA meetings and is trying to foucs on getting himself help. The thing I am struggling with is that he has asked that we do not speak or see each other for a month as he needs to foucs on himself and can not worry about...

fruitbat · fruitbat

HI This is the first time I have ever spoken to anyone about this Im not sure what to do anymore or how to manage whats going on. My husband has been an alcoholic for around 8years he had a period of around a year when he didnt drink at all, then a few days after xmas we lost our home and have had to move in with a f...

chinup · chinup

what and where do or does one go to or do when you just come to reality of that youve been a victim of child moletation-age 5 several times,child molestation one time age 8 and drugged and raped by a gang age 14.and its now been 40 yrs since this has all happened but just now realizeing it,and done been to the...

Cherubhmm · Cherubhmm

I was reading the upto date posts just now. How familiar. I haven't been on here in a while as I THOUGHT I was coping with partner's drinking. I am not today. In fact I've cried and cried all day and I'm hurting so much inside. I feel dismal and worthless. Since I last posted, he has made a conscious eff...

texasgal · texasgal

I worked an early shift and im outside parked I dont want to get off cuz their isnt anyone to greet me or even care if im home. I texted a friend but they haven't texted back yet. I even called my AH but he has his phone off. I hate the feelings that I have right now. I want to be part of something but im not. We dont...

beckon11 · beckon11

Hi every one.So glad to have found you.I feel so alone!! Dealing with a abusive dry alcoholic mother.Who knows every hurt game there is.Also my best girlfriend just ended our friendship/with no closure at all. I really thought I could trust her.She just acts like she never knew me.Kind of fami...

lmyya · lmyya

This seems like such a wonderful group. I have very little experience with Al-Anon but I am married to someone who did the 12 steps before I met him. I love him very much. We are going to have our first baby any day now-- a son. However, I think he needs some help. For the past year or more, I keep having the s...

texasgal · texasgal

I had a pleasant Saturday and AH did not come home but this morning at 5am my AH text me that he hated his life and he wanted to die. He hadn't said anything like that since he used to drink. One time he took out the shot gun and tried to do it when he was very drunk. I didn't take it lightly and I texted with him for...

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	Old sticky posts - Read Only Not sure what to do with these so parking them here.	6	91	Mar 10, 2026 by yopame7132

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	How to deal (Preview) As exciting it is to see your loved one recover, how do you deal with them reinventing themselves into someone you don't know. Almost a selfishness of I don't care what you think.	justlearning	4	377	Mar 25, 2013 by John
	Having trouble giving my AM over to my HP this morning (Preview) This morning has been a bit hard. I'm having trouble giving my AM over to my HP....its consuming my thoughts which isn't a good thing... Any prayers would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.	phoenixmagicgirl	3	329	Mar 25, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	Back on the roller-coaster! (Preview) I opened that door by calling the ex AB and picking up the phone after he kept hanging up on me. Of course he had been drinking, gives him beer muscles. So in for a lot of tears today. I heard "I never stopped loving you" and WTF I believed it. He tried so hard to get me to come to him but I was on to the m...	Heather 68	2	466	Mar 25, 2013 by yanksfan51
	Counseling (Preview) So, I came face to face today with one of the scariest questions I've ever been asked: "Did you see any red flags before you married your husband?" Me: "Ummm... (long pause) Yes." "Why did you choose to ignore them?" Me: "Oh, just shoot me now and get it over with...	lnc12	3	340	Mar 24, 2013 by milkwood
	No feelings (Preview) My wife has been sober now for 18 months and I still sleep down stairs I have no desire to sleep with her. I have not been the best husband in the past and she blames me for her drinking ( I was violent and did join dating agency's ) but I got counselling and she did support me. she thinks we should spit now as thi...	Markmark	3	376	Mar 24, 2013 by milkwood
	What am I thinking? (Preview) Feeling lonely so what stupid thing do i do? That's right call the ex AB, who is drinking. Try to talk, not fight, he hangs on me says he is partying and its more fun cuz I'm not around. Tells me " how can you blame all your actions on me"? But I do, I try to tell him I could not handle the alcohol and I d...	Heather 68	5	413	Mar 24, 2013 by milkwood
	Just wanted to share (Preview) One of my favorite poems! The JourneyOne day you finally knew what you had to do, and began, though the voices around you kept shouting their bad advice - though the whole house began to tremble and you felt the old tug at your ankles. "Mend my life!" each voice cried. But you didn't stop. You...	lnc12	2	309	Mar 24, 2013 by wornoutmrsfixit
	This board was the only home I felt normal living in...then I snuck out of the house. Can someone unlock the front door? (Preview) My love is now out of rehab and in a few short weeks I find myself being pulled around in his wagon with 3 flat tires. Prior to his exit I was driving a car with 4 inflated tires, now true to form- I have allowed his games to creep back into to my center throwing me out of whack. Granted I am at least aware it is hap...	newwoman	8	843	Mar 24, 2013 by Pushka
	my mom went to the ER last night. (Preview) I can't believe it but it is my mom afterall. We were watching a movie yesterday & my mom exitted before the end. My husband & I were wondering what was wrong? I ended up getting called in a busy movie theater. The manager said" Is there a Kathleen in here? Just after they stopped the movie. A...	Hoot Nanny	1	286	Mar 23, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I feel like such an idiot! (Preview) I feel terrible with myself. Over the last 6 months I have had struggles with myself and wife the wife's drinking. I was at a point of detachment with love. I had in my head that as long as she was not abusive to me, neglecting normal things, basically if it was just that I thought she drank too much and no...	hdftby100	5	695	Mar 24, 2013 by hdftby100
	Newbie needs advice (Preview) I have been going through a lot..here's my story My bestfriend from when I was 14 was addicted to meth ofr years and recovered in 2010 through treatment centers and half way house. I was there for him and in 2011 we decided to be together and live together. I have two kids outside of him and have been divo...	mammapepper	4	521	Mar 23, 2013 by kksmom
	finding things to do this weekend (Preview) I have posted before about the weekends which no surprise my AH is already ranting and raving about his job and how terrible it is to work their, etc. I know its just an excuse for him to stay out all weekend again. I have an early shift tonight so I made plans with another program friend to have a late dinner...	texasgal	6	323	Mar 23, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Street Sweeper (Preview) There was a notice in the local newspaper recently about the weekly street sweeping program that resumes on April 1. I smiled when I read it - warm weather is on the way. The streets of my neighborhoood will be swept clean the third Wednesday of every month from April through October, and neighbors who a...	ParisMemories	4	317	Mar 23, 2013 by afglin
	In Mourning (Preview) Well stilling holding up. Was doing better but mourning the lose of my relationship still has my emotions raw. With my HP guiding the way and time I will work throught this. Some days are definitly better and easy than others. I am little sad at times and the bitterness comes and goes. I lost my love to the...	Heather 68	1	352	Mar 23, 2013 by hotrod
	Here I am again (Preview) Basically kicked out of the house because wife was drunk and being abusive. No really major physical abuse but enough that it was intolerable. So here I sit the hospital emergency room with tablet. Not because I need medical attention but because they have free wifi. Place is empty. I am the only one in...	dponlyme	5	337	Mar 23, 2013 by PP
	I helped save her, now she's ending out marriage (Preview) ... sounds like something out of a tabloid magazine, and it probably could be. Wonder whether anyone can offer anything constructive on this... So, after a year of lies, my wife finally admitted to alcoholism in November last year and, after the usual refusals etc, finally agreed to go into rehab in...	Pete	5	496	Mar 23, 2013 by pinkchip
	Daughter went to a AA meeting this afternoon.... (Preview) MY HP certainly works in mysterious ways! We are vacationing in Florida, AD daughter is home in PA. She just texted that her support hearing earlier today with her baby Daddy did not go well for her and is continued (yet again!!! ) AND.......that she just got home from a meeting entitled Life or Deat...	LeenieBeanie	8	461	Mar 23, 2013 by AngelicH57
	his rage (Preview) My ah is not drinking. He's not drinking and he's not an alcoholic and I've no reason to be going to alanon. He is so angry that he no longer hugs our son or has any interaction with him. He treats him as if he's not there. I think he is doing this because he is in a rage at me because I am getting help through ala...	forestfairy	7	494	Mar 23, 2013 by Ebunny59
	me. (Preview) Sorry if this post is sort of long winded, but it's a definite point I need to share. When I first started Alanon I went because my AH told me it would be a good idea since he was going to AA. I of course agreed and went. I hear the horror stories of growing up with alcoholics and that in no way shape or form wa...	1976love	6	394	Mar 23, 2013 by 1976love
	Cleaning and a new hobby (Preview) Hi all Over the last 4 years I have spent most of my time and energy helping and in fear and worry for my son. Now that I've stepped back and practice the tools of Al-anon I'm feeling more like myself again. This week has been a little tough in the fact my son is drinking again and I started my worry again. I...	Cathyinaz	9	431	Mar 23, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I'm gonna drop my sponsor... (Preview) http://alanon.activeboard.com/t53059024/should-i-keep-my-sponsor/	sunflower22	12	642	Mar 22, 2013 by el-cee
	Detached and still connected.... (Preview) It's a God thing cause my HP and I have this kind of relationship. I'm not close to my family and haven't ever been that close. Both sides of my family come from within the disease and at one time we were all active. The relationships were (at least for me) not close and trusting and we had lots and lots o...	Jerry F	7	535	Mar 22, 2013 by hotrod
	STEP 12 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t53061486/step-12-alanon/	hotrod	0	325	Mar 22, 2013 by hotrod
	Afraid to disappoint (share) (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon family groups. It's funny how the more you progress and become in tune with your feelings, the more they creep up in places that you never thought they would. Tonight they came up at Ball hockey. I currently play in a local league and...	slogan_jim	3	455	Mar 22, 2013 by rehprof
	still searching for snswers (Preview) so far ive come to realize that withh all my childhood abuse has effected my relationships with men but im not so sure how its effected my relationships with men or boyfreinds yet i hope i dont fall into denial with this,i dont know how it may have effected my relationships with my siblings since all of my...	chinup	3	355	Mar 22, 2013 by chinup
	Happiness is in the eye of the beholder (Preview) I was talking to a dear friend who ran into my STBXAH a couple days ago. She said that he was saying "I'm so happy, everything's going so well, I'm doing this and this and this and (Blondie) and I have agreed to be friends even after the divorce." Yeah, right. Pink cloud time - I've seen and heard...	blondie99	2	324	Mar 22, 2013 by Pushka
	F2F Meeting (Preview) I posted a few weeks ago about detaching from my ABF. Tonight I was on my way out the door to my 2nd F2F meeting. On the way out he asked if I would pick up some AA pamphlets for him. My first thought was "sure", but as I was driving to the meeting, I started wondering if I should. I mean, if he wa...	cRaZyJaDe	2	412	Mar 22, 2013 by PP
	Great Topic at My Meeting Last Night (Preview) The topic leader last night shared the March 12th reading from "Hope for Today." It was all about focusing on the positives in life and even jotting a positive word on a daily calendar. I hadn't been to a meeting in a couple of weeks and was worried that I might have a meltdown if the sharing at t...	Green Eyes	3	457	Mar 22, 2013 by Pushka
	punishment! (Preview) I was just talking to someone yesterday, and said I could never make out I was ill to claim for benifits because I would not like to cry wolf and be punished for it!, They replied that makes me think of your relationship with your husband? and went on to say is that how I see life? He said that at our age we'r...	Katy	7	699	Mar 21, 2013 by beckon11
	Should I keep my sponsor? (Preview) Hello, This is my first time on these boards. I have been in Alanon now for 90 days and have had a sponsor since day 1. She at first was very attentive towards me, very encouraging, helpful and motivating. She would say how I am so similar to her and almost like I was her favorite of all her sponsee's. We...	sunflower22	9	1218	Mar 21, 2013 by sunflower22
	Need some ESH on not accepting unacceptable behavior (Preview) I've been trying to straighten this all out in my head lately, as I come closer and closer to the end of my rope with my AH. I do still struggle with accepting that his addiction/drinking is his business, although I've gotten much better at accepting that. But then we have the whole universe of "un...	stephaniej	7	658	Mar 21, 2013 by stephaniej
	AW is drinking and strangely I feel relief (Preview) It's almost as if the waiting is finally over and I can feel comfortable again. She hadn't drank for over two weeks and now finally I can relax and not have all that terrible hope hanging over my head. She is a mean angry drunk even moreso than usual due to us already at odds with one another... but she is s...	dponlyme	6	470	Mar 21, 2013 by pinkchip
	THURSDAY (Preview) -- Edited by mercedes1959 on Thursday 21st of March 2013 12:54:17 PM	mercedes1959	0	542	Mar 21, 2013 by mercedes1959
	abandonment issues (Preview) Hi friends, Wondering if any of you have abandonment issues,and pain. I have done so much work on this.Yet it still can really pull me down. Im doing work again on the inner child. Would love to hear from anyone who has experienced this. I know alanon helps alot also. thx beckon11	beckon11	2	871	Mar 21, 2013 by beckon11
	My Helping Hand... (Preview) Have ya Ever Stepped Down off your Ego Button and had an 'Auh..Hah... Moment' Resently I have been having some "Stinkin thinkin's" going on within my Head, and I have been Reading the Lit, and Doing Alot of differant tools that i Learned to Really get to the surface of it! Well when I Sat Down a...	Jozie	2	550	Mar 21, 2013 by beckon11
	Next ..... (Preview) Hello All, next chapter of my saga....my ex AB has sent me a few texts trying to stab at I me, I respond with messages of my positive recovery and courage to change my situation. That shuts him up for a day or so, but I finally blocked him from contacting me...again. My last "I love you" but this i...	Heather 68	2	326	Mar 21, 2013 by dponlyme
	Trial Date is coming (Preview) I've been so worried and anxious about this court date that AH and I have on March 27. He keeps referring to it as "me vs him" and today I reminded him that it is not me vs him, it is the State vs him. I received my subpoena the other day, which clearly states this. He still thinks he will waltz in fr...	ParisMemories	6	458	Mar 21, 2013 by ParisMemories
	"I can control my drinking" (Preview) I am really confused. The alcoholic in my life is my boyfriend and we have been through so many " episodes " of his drinking causing complete chaos, weekly, bi weekly.. like you would get your mail or visit the gym. He has embarassed himself in front of me because of the amount of blacking out...	giraffe13	15	817	Mar 20, 2013 by Heather 68
	Hmmmm.. Progress? (Preview) First of all, I want to thank everyone here for being so kind and accepting! Oh, and most of all encouraging! It's just so great knowing that I can come on here, vent my hurts and frustrations, and I won't be judged. After almost 7 months of separation from my AH, I did something shocking this morning. I r...	lnc12	8	343	Mar 20, 2013 by Heather 68
	Boundrys... Tough, Yet Worth It! (Preview) Welp Peeps... After Some Much Needed Work on ME! I have Found that I Can No Longer Allow "Pity Pot" time for My Woo's... This Last Week has been a Roller Coaster of Emotions for me, and Frankly I'm just Sick to Death of Allowing it time of My Thoughts, & My Actions... I Have Found that when I S...	Jozie	3	393	Mar 20, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I will not be destroyed (Preview) So, as the divorce is progressing and people are starting to find out about what has happened between my STBXAH and me, I have been receiving information on happenings that have occurred, unknowingly to me, over the last several years. The most interesting thing I've heard so far is that both my mom an...	blondie99	3	498	Mar 20, 2013 by Jerry F
	De-lurking: thank you all so much! (Preview) I have been getting so much out of this board, in lurker-mode, for the past few months. I 'tried' Al-Anon 11 years ago right as my 13 year marriage to my then alcoholic husband was ending. I didn't go back to the meetings at that time . The first meeting I went to had about 30 people in it, which was terrifyin...	ClearTheFog	4	508	Mar 20, 2013 by Jerry F
	Recent thinkings (Preview) I want to post about three things, but I dont want to post three times my creative side wants to tie them in together lets see if I can manage it eh? #1 I love second hand stores and when I get a few minutes/half a morning, I go to town for just that, to browse through my favorites before getting groceries, lun...	likemyheart	6	359	Mar 20, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	Good Morning Everyone! (Preview) I read your post here, and I hear you, I feel you. We are not that different when it comes to the feelings associated with loving an alcoholic or addict. We hurt, we guess, we question, we wonder, we fear, we give up trying, and then try harder, we attach and then detach, we hold on with all our might, and the...	John	11	673	Mar 20, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	A great assembly- and thanks.... (Preview) Hi y'all... I came into this forum last year after going through the Alanon Traditions on this MIP board. i was so impressed. I learned stuff through interacting with the fine people doing this task. At this end of the world keeping Alanon going does take a lot of patience and I feel we need all the help we...	DavidG	6	340	Mar 20, 2013 by david62
	Mourning my marriage (Preview) I feel like I am in a new stage of grief. I kind of think its a new phase of acceptance. This process sure has been a whirlwind ride of emotions. Most of the time I am doing pretty good and most days I am enjoying my life. I am lonely at times, miss having a partner in my life, someone to hang out with, share s...	cinders	8	587	Mar 20, 2013 by John
	Ever feel like giving up? throwing in the towel? Saying this is WAY to much to handle? (Preview) I am so overwhelmed dealing with his last fall off the wagon. He had a huge pain pill problem the last three years. His Dr just gave him more and more then he started buying them when he ran out. It was terrible. We have kids and a mixed family (step kids and shared kids). I feel responsible for holding i...	Rinn	6	532	Mar 20, 2013 by Rinn
	He says I'm crazy (Preview) Hi I'm new to the board and I originally posted this in response to another post, but I'm reposting because I think I should have started a new thread. Much of what I've read here really resonates with me. I too have had my spouse email back a friend and insult them. I too am blamed for everything that goes w...	forestfairy	7	582	Mar 20, 2013 by giraffe13
	Max - Playing with my other dogs (Preview) Just wanted to let you folks see what your prayers brought about. Max is doing very well, and playing hard and living large. In the beginning of this very short video you can see Lilly Girl tap on Max a few times with her paw..."C'on, play.. its only 2am!" And the fun beguns between them. Thank each an...	John	3	349	Mar 19, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Newbie/need to vent (Preview) Hi Im quite new to all of this so please forgive me if I rant a bit. First off I did make the step of going to my first meeting last Friday it felt strange but I was made to feel welcome.It was strange in that I was talking to complete strangers about how my AW problem was affecting me.I do want to go back this wee...	gorby928	9	524	Mar 19, 2013 by gorby928
	Rigorous Honesty (Today's al-anon meeting) (Preview) Tonight my al-anon group discussed rigorous honesty. With ourselves. I really have to say that in relating to this disease, my rigorous honesty lately has been with myself over the last month accepting that my boyfriend is not changing or working on sobriety. At all. All I can do is change myself. As h...	giraffe13	4	975	Mar 19, 2013 by canadianguy
	looking for an online Alanon sponsor (Preview) Hello! I am looking for an online Alanon sponsor to do my steps with. Since I am residing currently in the country where there are no active Alanon meetings available, online meetings would be my only source, Skype chats possible with sponsor. I have separated from my abusive AH but having tough t...	pinnu	3	428	Mar 19, 2013 by mammapepper
	Struggling - My husband just admitted he is an alcoholic (Preview) 4 days ago my husband admitted to me and his family that he is an alcoholic. He has started AA meetings and is trying to foucs on getting himself help. The thing I am struggling with is that he has asked that we do not speak or see each other for a month as he needs to foucs on himself and can not worry about...	tania31	5	869	Mar 19, 2013 by mammapepper
	HELP? (Preview) HI This is the first time I have ever spoken to anyone about this Im not sure what to do anymore or how to manage whats going on. My husband has been an alcoholic for around 8years he had a period of around a year when he didnt drink at all, then a few days after xmas we lost our home and have had to move in with a f...	fruitbat	5	377	Mar 19, 2013 by PP
	lost and dont know where to turn (Preview) what and where do or does one go to or do when you just come to reality of that youve been a victim of child moletation-age 5 several times,child molestation one time age 8 and drugged and raped by a gang age 14.and its now been 40 yrs since this has all happened but just now realizeing it,and done been to the...	chinup	5	543	Mar 19, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Sounds familiar.. (Preview) I was reading the upto date posts just now. How familiar. I haven't been on here in a while as I THOUGHT I was coping with partner's drinking. I am not today. In fact I've cried and cried all day and I'm hurting so much inside. I feel dismal and worthless. Since I last posted, he has made a conscious eff...	Cherubhmm	8	404	Mar 19, 2013 by Cherubhmm
	lonely (Preview) I worked an early shift and im outside parked I dont want to get off cuz their isnt anyone to greet me or even care if im home. I texted a friend but they haven't texted back yet. I even called my AH but he has his phone off. I hate the feelings that I have right now. I want to be part of something but im not. We dont...	texasgal	5	479	Mar 19, 2013 by beckon11
	Abusive mother/loss of best friend/greif and painI (Preview) Hi every one.So glad to have found you.I feel so alone!! Dealing with a abusive dry alcoholic mother.Who knows every hurt game there is.Also my best girlfriend just ended our friendship/with no closure at all. I really thought I could trust her.She just acts like she never knew me.Kind of fami...	beckon11	3	442	Mar 19, 2013 by beckon11
	I am married to a recovering alcoholic who may need more help spouse recovering alcoholic dry relapse (Preview) This seems like such a wonderful group. I have very little experience with Al-Anon but I am married to someone who did the 12 steps before I met him. I love him very much. We are going to have our first baby any day now-- a son. However, I think he needs some help. For the past year or more, I keep having the s...	lmyya	6	8859	Mar 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	today has been a long day (Preview) I had a pleasant Saturday and AH did not come home but this morning at 5am my AH text me that he hated his life and he wanted to die. He hadn't said anything like that since he used to drink. One time he took out the shot gun and tried to do it when he was very drunk. I didn't take it lightly and I texted with him for...	texasgal	2	2374	Mar 19, 2013 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.