Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Rinn · Rinn

I am so overwhelmed dealing with his last fall off the wagon. He had a huge pain pill problem the last three years. His Dr just gave him more and more then he started buying them when he ran out. It was terrible. We have kids and a mixed family (step kids and shared kids). I feel responsible for holding i...

forestfairy · forestfairy

Hi I'm new to the board and I originally posted this in response to another post, but I'm reposting because I think I should have started a new thread. Much of what I've read here really resonates with me. I too have had my spouse email back a friend and insult them. I too am blamed for everything that goes w...

John · John

Just wanted to let you folks see what your prayers brought about. Max is doing very well, and playing hard and living large. In the beginning of this very short video you can see Lilly Girl tap on Max a few times with her paw..."C'on, play.. its only 2am!" And the fun beguns between them. Thank each an...

gorby928 · gorby928

Hi Im quite new to all of this so please forgive me if I rant a bit. First off I did make the step of going to my first meeting last Friday it felt strange but I was made to feel welcome.It was strange in that I was talking to complete strangers about how my AW problem was affecting me.I do want to go back this wee...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

Tonight my al-anon group discussed rigorous honesty. With ourselves. I really have to say that in relating to this disease, my rigorous honesty lately has been with myself over the last month accepting that my boyfriend is not changing or working on sobriety. At all. All I can do is change myself. As h...

pinnu · pinnu

Hello! I am looking for an online Alanon sponsor to do my steps with. Since I am residing currently in the country where there are no active Alanon meetings available, online meetings would be my only source, Skype chats possible with sponsor. I have separated from my abusive AH but having tough t...

tania31 · tania31

4 days ago my husband admitted to me and his family that he is an alcoholic. He has started AA meetings and is trying to foucs on getting himself help. The thing I am struggling with is that he has asked that we do not speak or see each other for a month as he needs to foucs on himself and can not worry about...

fruitbat · fruitbat

HI This is the first time I have ever spoken to anyone about this Im not sure what to do anymore or how to manage whats going on. My husband has been an alcoholic for around 8years he had a period of around a year when he didnt drink at all, then a few days after xmas we lost our home and have had to move in with a f...

chinup · chinup

what and where do or does one go to or do when you just come to reality of that youve been a victim of child moletation-age 5 several times,child molestation one time age 8 and drugged and raped by a gang age 14.and its now been 40 yrs since this has all happened but just now realizeing it,and done been to the...

Cherubhmm · Cherubhmm

I was reading the upto date posts just now. How familiar. I haven't been on here in a while as I THOUGHT I was coping with partner's drinking. I am not today. In fact I've cried and cried all day and I'm hurting so much inside. I feel dismal and worthless. Since I last posted, he has made a conscious eff...

texasgal · texasgal

I worked an early shift and im outside parked I dont want to get off cuz their isnt anyone to greet me or even care if im home. I texted a friend but they haven't texted back yet. I even called my AH but he has his phone off. I hate the feelings that I have right now. I want to be part of something but im not. We dont...

beckon11 · beckon11

Hi every one.So glad to have found you.I feel so alone!! Dealing with a abusive dry alcoholic mother.Who knows every hurt game there is.Also my best girlfriend just ended our friendship/with no closure at all. I really thought I could trust her.She just acts like she never knew me.Kind of fami...

lmyya · lmyya

This seems like such a wonderful group. I have very little experience with Al-Anon but I am married to someone who did the 12 steps before I met him. I love him very much. We are going to have our first baby any day now-- a son. However, I think he needs some help. For the past year or more, I keep having the s...

texasgal · texasgal

I had a pleasant Saturday and AH did not come home but this morning at 5am my AH text me that he hated his life and he wanted to die. He hadn't said anything like that since he used to drink. One time he took out the shot gun and tried to do it when he was very drunk. I didn't take it lightly and I texted with him for...

Heather 68 · Heather 68

I see the light at the end of the tunnel, it may be far far away but i see it! After about 2 months of a lot of meetings and throwing myself in to the literature i was ready and comfortable enough to ask for more help. I have found a wonderful sponsor from my home meeting, I am overjoyed. I cried when she agreed,...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi everyone.... Had a relaxing day just playing on the computer and watching TV. My son now has a whole lot of money and on the biggest binge of his life. I can't seem to get it out of my mind and don't even want to talk to him at all if he calls me. My choice right? I will pray to my HP that he makes it thoug...

dponlyme · dponlyme

AW has been on the wagon for a couple weeks now and we are having terrible fights. She says I am treating her like she is stupid but my intention is just to let her know that I disagree with her. She seems so hypersensitive to me. I for my part get upset because she gets upset with me when I feel I have done nothi...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

The topic is posted here http://meetinginfo.activeboard.com/

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Dear Friends, Last night, I couldn't sleep, (worrying about AH, legal issues, bills....etc.) so I opened up Netflix on my computer and began to browse titles suggested for me. I saw "The Secret" and remembered that someone had mentioned that in a recent F2F meeting. I gave it a try. Wow, wh...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

Is there a book (perhaps the AA Big Book or an Al-Anon book) that walks you through the steps one by one? Thank you.

KSwiss · KSwiss

I am really struggling today. This morning when I was sleeping, my AH replied to a text from my sister. We were going out to breakfast together. He acted as me and said I was mad at my sister. It was this whole conversation, she quickly figured out it was him. He woke me up and told me. I told him how wro...

tortuga · tortuga

Dear family, recovery is not perfection, but progress. I know that. But when I'm faaling back into the hurt, as it happens more often lately again, it happens i loose hope as well. I know I chose the right thing, the best way for me to be healthy. and I did a lot of progress and I'm proud of that. But yesterda...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I feel relieved because the post went through. I am having some difficulties w/ money & dealing w/ my sister & the fact that the sale of my parents' house went through. My sis is upset & I am upset because she is upset. I wrote a post that didn't go through that explained in more detail. I can't...

texasgal · texasgal

Lately my soberAH hasn't been coming home until Sunday morning. I'm off on saturday and Sunday this weekend. I know i cant change his actions but I need to find something to do. I only have plans for saturday morning. I plan to go to a meeting but other than that I don't have anything. I don't want to be coop...

scaredandconfused · scaredandconfused

Maybe it is because our anniversary is coming up but I have been doing a lot of looking back on my relationship with my hopefully stbxah. If only I could get him to sign those divorce papers. The question I keep coming back to is "What was I thinking? Why did I put up with this insanity and disrespect f...

11lks11 · 11lks11

I'm living with my boyfriend, a recovering alcoholic 3 months sober. Things have improved there is no doubt. The fact that he's not drinking is amazing. I know I'm to support his recovery & that is his focus...that it needs to be. But he is an unemotional robot. He doesn't want to talk about an...

teachmath · teachmath

I'm back! I have been dating a sober alcoholic for nearly 16 months and his sobriety started just about two months before we met. Things were definitely getting better for our relationship and for him. He has a great job, a nice place to live and gets to at least 3-5 meetings a week. As always, I helpe...

PP · PP

After reading some of the posts this morning I began pondering co-dependency. The meaning of it and how it shows up in my life is still unfoldingfor today, I see that it has given me a false sense of power over people and my life. I looked for power from ineffective sources. I thought I had power when som...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning everyone: I took the ultimate plunge and completely let go. As you might know I'm a big enabler and almost 5 months ago I stop. I stop all but one little detail. His phone.... I thought he HAD to have comunication with the outside world but today I have a change of heart. He sold his ca...

blondie99 · blondie99

Was feeling a bit down in the dumps this morning - knew I had a lot to do around the house that my STBXAH left unfinished before he went to rehab - and now will never do since he chose to move in with his mistress. So I went and picked up dog messes, gave the grass and trees a good soaking, and, all by my darn self,...

Heather 68 · Heather 68

The next chapter of the saga continues. My ex ABF has been silent lately, no calls, thought that would be good. Well I can not keep my heart in check, I miss him, I hurt a lot, cry off and on all day, cant sleep or focus. I go back to "how could the next drink be more important than me"? Despite the ch...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well the car is sold, rent is paid until June, got all his stuff out of the pawn shop, looking for a beater car and got a job that starts April 8. Sounds great. Took me out to dinner last night an paid...he was very excited and also sad about losing the car...but oh well he says. Talking up a storm and havi...

Path to Serenity · Path to Serenity

If anyone has any experience with the Smart Recovery Program (alternative to AA) please share. My son is leaning toward this group instead of AA - I have no intention to intervene in his decision but I would like to educate myself a little. TIA Path

texasgal · texasgal

I knew my AH wasn't going to come home so last night after work I went to video store rented some movies and came home to relax. Wouldnt u know it just as I'm at the end of movie my AH comes in the door. I just sat and continued with my movie and fell asleep. Today I'm going to a meeting in an hour and then idk. My co...

Cheri_Swanson · Cheri_Swanson

Again, I am questioning myself, am I being unreasonable, or is it that I am letting him manipulate me again? My husband says he is not an alcoholic if he drinks four to six beers a night. I say he is because he is only happy when he is drinking. I also tell him that the reason he won't eat dinner until later...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Dear Friends I am leaving shortly for my f2f meeting. AH is also going to an AA meeting this morning, so this Saturday is better than last. I've said the Serenity Prayer a million times this past week. That, and reading all of your posts have been my lifeline this week. In 10 days AH has his trial dat...

lnc12 · lnc12

My AH stayed sober for one month, but now he is drinking again. Bad. He has been staying with his grandmother for about 5 months, and I have been at my parents since August. Wednesday morning, everything seemed to be going ok. I went over to see him, we talked and laughed, and it was wonderful. Around 1:00...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Tradition 5 says we work the same steps the alcoholic works. So I guess that means ill be going through AAs Big Book. I allowed myself to be guided thru that work and one thing that happened was I was taught how to identify what's really going inside of me immediately and how to get rid of it and even USE it t...

el-cee · el-cee

I have been working my program and even though there are lots going on in my family that is upsetting I have been quite proud of myself for keeping a smile on my face, continuing to focus on my own life and generally feeling ok about this bad situation. But then I notice that I can hardly keep from being judg...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I had a revelation so to speak this morning..I've accepted that I can't control her drinking, I didn't cause her drinking and I can't cure her of her drinking...Just like when my brother used to drink this took me a long time to realize and accept. (my brother has been sober for 4 years). I just wanted to s...

beeurip · beeurip

My Son's father is an addict and an alcoholic. He has always used some type of substance. Pot, Cocaine, Booze, Pills... Our first 4 years were a roller coaster to say the least. I feel in love with him almost immediately. It was the same for him. I was a sophomore in college and he was 8 years my senior. I smo...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

This may sound odd but I'm having trouble accepting my mothers drinking even though I live at home with her and my dad and brother. This may sound mean and I don't intend it to be but it would be so much easier for me to deal with/accept if my mom would just admit she has a problem and go to an outpatient facili...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

AH is coming out of his most recent depressed mood and seems more manic today. Scares me, because this is when he is more likely to binge drink. The good news is, he admiited to feeling manic, I'm encouraged that he is at least aware. He is 6 days sober today, still working his IOP. I am hoping that tomorr...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Hello again everybody... I was wondering if anybody out there would share their advice for how to have a successful talk with an A about the future. I don't know that such a thing exists in reality, but I guess I'm wondering how to express my feelings and views on my situation with ABF in a way that will som...

canadianguy · canadianguy

There seem to be a lot of posts these days looking for some clarity around what Al-Anon is, and what it is not.... The first segment (in italics) is taken directly from the Al-Anon website, and gives an overview of what Al-Anon is..... The second segment is just some random thoughts that I threw toge...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, I think AH's disease is progressing. He is away for business and called me twice this week drunk. This AM he texted me and told me he was sorry that he didn't call me back and that he had gone to be early. Umm, here we go again. He DID call me back, but he hung up after 2 rings and the proceeded to text me t...

John · John

First and foremost, I stayed sober... didn't throw bad thoughts at anyone, including myself.... and second, I did some marketing stuff on my truck and online. Here are some pictures of what I created today.Just getting ready for a spring and summer full of good work, but it doesn't happen without my...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

My AH is actively attending meetings and has been for quite some time. He has been sober on and off and lately, for a few years, "under the influence, not drunk, but buzzed, which he can hide but not from me. I know his speech and his physical movements which gives him away. I do not ask if he has bee...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

I keep getting a " message too short" error when trying to send pm....tried today and yesterday....any ideas.thanks

hope4ever · hope4ever

I am in an online group and there is a lady there who always wants to tell me "the right answer". It is like she sees me as a little child who needs her motherly advice. It instantly puts me feeling as if I am a child again. My mom always needed me to "need her" so that she could feel be...

RSanders · RSanders

I am going absolutely out of my mind with myself lately. Most of this has to do with being around my verbally abusive alcoholic mother. I'm afraid to move out in case anything happens to her. I just started school, was paying for it on my own fine. My mom is currently unemployed and sits around drinking a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am still recovering from the anxiety of receiving the money from the sale of my parents' house. It was coming since January when I found about it & spent the last nearly two months anticipating its arrival. I felt like I was spending the money in my head. It is so crazy to get money like that when you(...

willowtree · willowtree

Hello, I am an introvert and an HSP (Highly sensitive person). About 15% of the population are HSP's. I really enjoy going to my meetings and I do contribute in my own way. I am not an "out there" "loud" person. I speak more quietly and people have told me they think I am shy. I a...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

hello, I'm new here to this board and I wanted to introduce myself. I've dealt with alcoholism with my AB who is currently sober 4 years. The Active A in my house is my mom although she won't admit she has a problem and it tears me up inside to see her like this!! At times I want to punch a wall and scream and oth...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I'm a recovering Co-Dependent. Is there a link between being co-dependent and having an Active A in your life? Thanks!

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I'm new here to this board, and wanted to know...how do I begin step #1? The website that is posted that lists the steps for Al-Anon, I find very confusing. I won't have a chance to go to my first Al-Anon meeting until a few weeks from now...how can I do step #1 in the meantime?

oldergal · oldergal

I thought in my mind one day I would not be able to fly anymore because I would be afraid. I thought in my mind that someday I would not be able to drive on the California freeway. I feel like I don't want to subject myself to any of that. And I think that time has arrived. But how do I visit, how do I see my sisters...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So, it feels like all I do lately is post here and email my sponsor ... Its been three looong weeks. Three lonely weeks. Last nite when my ah left again for the night I did a pretty.good job of finding peace. Connected with my sponsor, gave fear over to hp...and did sleep. Howver, then morning came....obv...

rehprof · rehprof

You know, it sure is safe to have someone else to focus on. I wondered for years why I stayed with my A...and after being apart and now divorced...I think I stayed in it for my self-esteem. I was NEVER as 'xxxx' up as HE was. As long as I focussed on him, I was a saint. Nothing wrong with ME. Denial isn't just f...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of the fellowship of al-anon. The alcoholic that qualifies me for al-anon is my father. Over the years he has seen it all as an alcoholic. Layoffs, bankruptcy, DUI, rehab..... Recently, he took 2 months off work to deal with depression. He sp...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Ever feel like giving up? throwing in the towel? Saying this is WAY to much to handle? (Preview) I am so overwhelmed dealing with his last fall off the wagon. He had a huge pain pill problem the last three years. His Dr just gave him more and more then he started buying them when he ran out. It was terrible. We have kids and a mixed family (step kids and shared kids). I feel responsible for holding i...	Rinn	6	428	Mar 20, 2013 by Rinn
	He says I'm crazy (Preview) Hi I'm new to the board and I originally posted this in response to another post, but I'm reposting because I think I should have started a new thread. Much of what I've read here really resonates with me. I too have had my spouse email back a friend and insult them. I too am blamed for everything that goes w...	forestfairy	7	485	Mar 20, 2013 by giraffe13
	Max - Playing with my other dogs (Preview) Just wanted to let you folks see what your prayers brought about. Max is doing very well, and playing hard and living large. In the beginning of this very short video you can see Lilly Girl tap on Max a few times with her paw..."C'on, play.. its only 2am!" And the fun beguns between them. Thank each an...	John	3	254	Mar 19, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Newbie/need to vent (Preview) Hi Im quite new to all of this so please forgive me if I rant a bit. First off I did make the step of going to my first meeting last Friday it felt strange but I was made to feel welcome.It was strange in that I was talking to complete strangers about how my AW problem was affecting me.I do want to go back this wee...	gorby928	9	425	Mar 19, 2013 by gorby928
	Rigorous Honesty (Today's al-anon meeting) (Preview) Tonight my al-anon group discussed rigorous honesty. With ourselves. I really have to say that in relating to this disease, my rigorous honesty lately has been with myself over the last month accepting that my boyfriend is not changing or working on sobriety. At all. All I can do is change myself. As h...	giraffe13	4	855	Mar 19, 2013 by canadianguy
	looking for an online Alanon sponsor (Preview) Hello! I am looking for an online Alanon sponsor to do my steps with. Since I am residing currently in the country where there are no active Alanon meetings available, online meetings would be my only source, Skype chats possible with sponsor. I have separated from my abusive AH but having tough t...	pinnu	3	337	Mar 19, 2013 by mammapepper
	Struggling - My husband just admitted he is an alcoholic (Preview) 4 days ago my husband admitted to me and his family that he is an alcoholic. He has started AA meetings and is trying to foucs on getting himself help. The thing I am struggling with is that he has asked that we do not speak or see each other for a month as he needs to foucs on himself and can not worry about...	tania31	5	766	Mar 19, 2013 by mammapepper
	HELP? (Preview) HI This is the first time I have ever spoken to anyone about this Im not sure what to do anymore or how to manage whats going on. My husband has been an alcoholic for around 8years he had a period of around a year when he didnt drink at all, then a few days after xmas we lost our home and have had to move in with a f...	fruitbat	5	272	Mar 19, 2013 by PP
	lost and dont know where to turn (Preview) what and where do or does one go to or do when you just come to reality of that youve been a victim of child moletation-age 5 several times,child molestation one time age 8 and drugged and raped by a gang age 14.and its now been 40 yrs since this has all happened but just now realizeing it,and done been to the...	chinup	5	453	Mar 19, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Sounds familiar.. (Preview) I was reading the upto date posts just now. How familiar. I haven't been on here in a while as I THOUGHT I was coping with partner's drinking. I am not today. In fact I've cried and cried all day and I'm hurting so much inside. I feel dismal and worthless. Since I last posted, he has made a conscious eff...	Cherubhmm	8	312	Mar 19, 2013 by Cherubhmm
	lonely (Preview) I worked an early shift and im outside parked I dont want to get off cuz their isnt anyone to greet me or even care if im home. I texted a friend but they haven't texted back yet. I even called my AH but he has his phone off. I hate the feelings that I have right now. I want to be part of something but im not. We dont...	texasgal	5	366	Mar 19, 2013 by beckon11
	Abusive mother/loss of best friend/greif and painI (Preview) Hi every one.So glad to have found you.I feel so alone!! Dealing with a abusive dry alcoholic mother.Who knows every hurt game there is.Also my best girlfriend just ended our friendship/with no closure at all. I really thought I could trust her.She just acts like she never knew me.Kind of fami...	beckon11	3	358	Mar 19, 2013 by beckon11
	I am married to a recovering alcoholic who may need more help spouse recovering alcoholic dry relapse (Preview) This seems like such a wonderful group. I have very little experience with Al-Anon but I am married to someone who did the 12 steps before I met him. I love him very much. We are going to have our first baby any day now-- a son. However, I think he needs some help. For the past year or more, I keep having the s...	lmyya	6	6979	Mar 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	today has been a long day (Preview) I had a pleasant Saturday and AH did not come home but this morning at 5am my AH text me that he hated his life and he wanted to die. He hadn't said anything like that since he used to drink. One time he took out the shot gun and tried to do it when he was very drunk. I didn't take it lightly and I texted with him for...	texasgal	2	1956	Mar 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	Got a sponsor!!!! (Preview) I see the light at the end of the tunnel, it may be far far away but i see it! After about 2 months of a lot of meetings and throwing myself in to the literature i was ready and comfortable enough to ask for more help. I have found a wonderful sponsor from my home meeting, I am overjoyed. I cried when she agreed,...	Heather 68	9	357	Mar 19, 2013 by giraffe13
	I want to contact my Son (Preview) Hi everyone.... Had a relaxing day just playing on the computer and watching TV. My son now has a whole lot of money and on the biggest binge of his life. I can't seem to get it out of my mind and don't even want to talk to him at all if he calls me. My choice right? I will pray to my HP that he makes it thoug...	Cathyinaz	13	581	Mar 19, 2013 by Auntyaya
	Terrible fights and hurt feelings (Preview) AW has been on the wagon for a couple weeks now and we are having terrible fights. She says I am treating her like she is stupid but my intention is just to let her know that I disagree with her. She seems so hypersensitive to me. I for my part get upset because she gets upset with me when I feel I have done nothi...	dponlyme	11	554	Mar 19, 2013 by Jerry F
	Monday morning meeting (Preview) The topic is posted here http://meetinginfo.activeboard.com/	mercedes1959	0	159	Mar 18, 2013 by mercedes1959
	"The Secret" (Preview) Dear Friends, Last night, I couldn't sleep, (worrying about AH, legal issues, bills....etc.) so I opened up Netflix on my computer and began to browse titles suggested for me. I saw "The Secret" and remembered that someone had mentioned that in a recent F2F meeting. I gave it a try. Wow, wh...	ParisMemories	1	586	Mar 18, 2013 by Aloha
	A written copy of The 12 steps? (Preview) Is there a book (perhaps the AA Big Book or an Al-Anon book) that walks you through the steps one by one? Thank you.	phoenixmagicgirl	5	792	Mar 18, 2013 by Path to Serenity
	How to deal with mental abuse (Preview) I am really struggling today. This morning when I was sleeping, my AH replied to a text from my sister. We were going out to breakfast together. He acted as me and said I was mad at my sister. It was this whole conversation, she quickly figured out it was him. He woke me up and told me. I told him how wro...	KSwiss	5	552	Mar 18, 2013 by giraffe13
	need a hug...in the loop! (Preview) Dear family, recovery is not perfection, but progress. I know that. But when I'm faaling back into the hurt, as it happens more often lately again, it happens i loose hope as well. I know I chose the right thing, the best way for me to be healthy. and I did a lot of progress and I'm proud of that. But yesterda...	tortuga	8	327	Mar 18, 2013 by forestfairy
	the post went through (Preview) I feel relieved because the post went through. I am having some difficulties w/ money & dealing w/ my sister & the fact that the sale of my parents' house went through. My sis is upset & I am upset because she is upset. I wrote a post that didn't go through that explained in more detail. I can't...	Hoot Nanny	2	269	Mar 17, 2013 by Jen
	the weekend is here :( (Preview) Lately my soberAH hasn't been coming home until Sunday morning. I'm off on saturday and Sunday this weekend. I know i cant change his actions but I need to find something to do. I only have plans for saturday morning. I plan to go to a meeting but other than that I don't have anything. I don't want to be coop...	texasgal	8	425	Mar 17, 2013 by forestfairy
	What was I thinking? (Preview) Maybe it is because our anniversary is coming up but I have been doing a lot of looking back on my relationship with my hopefully stbxah. If only I could get him to sign those divorce papers. The question I keep coming back to is "What was I thinking? Why did I put up with this insanity and disrespect f...	scaredandconfused	4	401	Mar 17, 2013 by likemyheart
	3 months sober ...things are better....yet worse??? (Preview) I'm living with my boyfriend, a recovering alcoholic 3 months sober. Things have improved there is no doubt. The fact that he's not drinking is amazing. I know I'm to support his recovery & that is his focus...that it needs to be. But he is an unemotional robot. He doesn't want to talk about an...	11lks11	5	490	Mar 17, 2013 by hotrod
	His life is complicated and I am drowing in my own problems (Preview) I'm back! I have been dating a sober alcoholic for nearly 16 months and his sobriety started just about two months before we met. Things were definitely getting better for our relationship and for him. He has a great job, a nice place to live and gets to at least 3-5 meetings a week. As always, I helpe...	teachmath	19	707	Mar 17, 2013 by likemyheart
	Co-Dependency and Power (Preview) After reading some of the posts this morning I began pondering co-dependency. The meaning of it and how it shows up in my life is still unfoldingfor today, I see that it has given me a false sense of power over people and my life. I looked for power from ineffective sources. I thought I had power when som...	PP	10	371	Mar 17, 2013 by Theoceancalls
	Have I done the right thing (Preview) Good Morning everyone: I took the ultimate plunge and completely let go. As you might know I'm a big enabler and almost 5 months ago I stop. I stop all but one little detail. His phone.... I thought he HAD to have comunication with the outside world but today I have a change of heart. He sold his ca...	Cathyinaz	16	392	Mar 17, 2013 by AngelicH57
	Did it my darn self! (Preview) Was feeling a bit down in the dumps this morning - knew I had a lot to do around the house that my STBXAH left unfinished before he went to rehab - and now will never do since he chose to move in with his mistress. So I went and picked up dog messes, gave the grass and trees a good soaking, and, all by my darn self,...	blondie99	5	296	Mar 17, 2013 by tortuga
	In a lot of pain! (Preview) The next chapter of the saga continues. My ex ABF has been silent lately, no calls, thought that would be good. Well I can not keep my heart in check, I miss him, I hurt a lot, cry off and on all day, cant sleep or focus. I go back to "how could the next drink be more important than me"? Despite the ch...	Heather 68	8	503	Mar 17, 2013 by Heather 68
	OH WELL I'm OK (Preview) Well the car is sold, rent is paid until June, got all his stuff out of the pawn shop, looking for a beater car and got a job that starts April 8. Sounds great. Took me out to dinner last night an paid...he was very excited and also sad about losing the car...but oh well he says. Talking up a storm and havi...	Cathyinaz	7	381	Mar 16, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	SMART Recovery Program (Preview) If anyone has any experience with the Smart Recovery Program (alternative to AA) please share. My son is leaning toward this group instead of AA - I have no intention to intervene in his decision but I would like to educate myself a little. TIA Path	Path to Serenity	12	605	Mar 16, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	feeling better today (Preview) I knew my AH wasn't going to come home so last night after work I went to video store rented some movies and came home to relax. Wouldnt u know it just as I'm at the end of movie my AH comes in the door. I just sat and continued with my movie and fell asleep. Today I'm going to a meeting in an hour and then idk. My co...	texasgal	2	254	Mar 16, 2013 by texasgal
	He says he is not alcoholic.... (Preview) Again, I am questioning myself, am I being unreasonable, or is it that I am letting him manipulate me again? My husband says he is not an alcoholic if he drinks four to six beers a night. I say he is because he is only happy when he is drinking. I also tell him that the reason he won't eat dinner until later...	Cheri_Swanson	9	506	Mar 16, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Good morning (Preview) Dear Friends I am leaving shortly for my f2f meeting. AH is also going to an AA meeting this morning, so this Saturday is better than last. I've said the Serenity Prayer a million times this past week. That, and reading all of your posts have been my lifeline this week. In 10 days AH has his trial dat...	ParisMemories	1	244	Mar 16, 2013 by AngieP
	Update (Preview) My AH stayed sober for one month, but now he is drinking again. Bad. He has been staying with his grandmother for about 5 months, and I have been at my parents since August. Wednesday morning, everything seemed to be going ok. I went over to see him, we talked and laughed, and it was wonderful. Around 1:00...	lnc12	4	238	Mar 16, 2013 by Jerry F
	I feel so good!! (Preview) Tradition 5 says we work the same steps the alcoholic works. So I guess that means ill be going through AAs Big Book. I allowed myself to be guided thru that work and one thing that happened was I was taught how to identify what's really going inside of me immediately and how to get rid of it and even USE it t...	WorkingThroughIt	2	241	Mar 16, 2013 by tortuga
	Im still not perfect!!!! (Preview) I have been working my program and even though there are lots going on in my family that is upsetting I have been quite proud of myself for keeping a smile on my face, continuing to focus on my own life and generally feeling ok about this bad situation. But then I notice that I can hardly keep from being judg...	el-cee	4	345	Mar 16, 2013 by PP
	Acceptance of my AM drinking...a revelation for me. (Preview) I had a revelation so to speak this morning..I've accepted that I can't control her drinking, I didn't cause her drinking and I can't cure her of her drinking...Just like when my brother used to drink this took me a long time to realize and accept. (my brother has been sober for 4 years). I just wanted to s...	phoenixmagicgirl	4	218	Mar 16, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	This is new for me (Preview) My Son's father is an addict and an alcoholic. He has always used some type of substance. Pot, Cocaine, Booze, Pills... Our first 4 years were a roller coaster to say the least. I feel in love with him almost immediately. It was the same for him. I was a sophomore in college and he was 8 years my senior. I smo...	beeurip	3	286	Mar 16, 2013 by Path to Serenity
	Having difficulty accepting my AM drinking while she's at home (Preview) This may sound odd but I'm having trouble accepting my mothers drinking even though I live at home with her and my dad and brother. This may sound mean and I don't intend it to be but it would be so much easier for me to deal with/accept if my mom would just admit she has a problem and go to an outpatient facili...	phoenixmagicgirl	6	222	Mar 15, 2013 by Aloha
	AH Manic Mood (Preview) AH is coming out of his most recent depressed mood and seems more manic today. Scares me, because this is when he is more likely to binge drink. The good news is, he admiited to feeling manic, I'm encouraged that he is at least aware. He is 6 days sober today, still working his IOP. I am hoping that tomorr...	ParisMemories	4	346	Mar 15, 2013 by ParisMemories
	I need to have "The Talk" with ABF (Preview) Hello again everybody... I was wondering if anybody out there would share their advice for how to have a successful talk with an A about the future. I don't know that such a thing exists in reality, but I guess I'm wondering how to express my feelings and views on my situation with ABF in a way that will som...	Raven Juniper	12	388	Mar 15, 2013 by giraffe13
	What is Al-Anon? What is Al-Anon NOT? (Preview) There seem to be a lot of posts these days looking for some clarity around what Al-Anon is, and what it is not.... The first segment (in italics) is taken directly from the Al-Anon website, and gives an overview of what Al-Anon is..... The second segment is just some random thoughts that I threw toge...	canadianguy	10	1077	Mar 15, 2013 by Jozie
	Keeping my peace and serenity in the midst of chaos! (Preview) So, I think AH's disease is progressing. He is away for business and called me twice this week drunk. This AM he texted me and told me he was sorry that he didn't call me back and that he had gone to be early. Umm, here we go again. He DID call me back, but he hung up after 2 rings and the proceeded to text me t...	ilovedogs	6	388	Mar 15, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	What I did today... (Preview) First and foremost, I stayed sober... didn't throw bad thoughts at anyone, including myself.... and second, I did some marketing stuff on my truck and online. Here are some pictures of what I created today.Just getting ready for a spring and summer full of good work, but it doesn't happen without my...	John	5	296	Mar 15, 2013 by PP
	The rollercoaster of alcoholism and my survival (Preview) My AH is actively attending meetings and has been for quite some time. He has been sober on and off and lately, for a few years, "under the influence, not drunk, but buzzed, which he can hide but not from me. I know his speech and his physical movements which gives him away. I do not ask if he has bee...	wifeofalcoholic	4	493	Mar 15, 2013 by giraffe13
	Tech diff (Preview) I keep getting a " message too short" error when trying to send pm....tried today and yesterday....any ideas.thanks	Theoceancalls	1	180	Mar 15, 2013 by likemyheart
	Do I play the "poor me" card? (Preview) I am in an online group and there is a lady there who always wants to tell me "the right answer". It is like she sees me as a little child who needs her motherly advice. It instantly puts me feeling as if I am a child again. My mom always needed me to "need her" so that she could feel be...	hope4ever	4	350	Mar 15, 2013 by AngelicH57
	I'm going crazy, I don't know what to do anymore. No one cares. (Preview) I am going absolutely out of my mind with myself lately. Most of this has to do with being around my verbally abusive alcoholic mother. I'm afraid to move out in case anything happens to her. I just started school, was paying for it on my own fine. My mom is currently unemployed and sits around drinking a...	RSanders	5	409	Mar 15, 2013 by pinkchip
	my life can & will get better! (Preview) I am still recovering from the anxiety of receiving the money from the sale of my parents' house. It was coming since January when I found about it & spent the last nearly two months anticipating its arrival. I felt like I was spending the money in my head. It is so crazy to get money like that when you(...	Hoot Nanny	1	213	Mar 15, 2013 by PP
	introverts or HSP's here? (Preview) Hello, I am an introvert and an HSP (Highly sensitive person). About 15% of the population are HSP's. I really enjoy going to my meetings and I do contribute in my own way. I am not an "out there" "loud" person. I speak more quietly and people have told me they think I am shy. I a...	willowtree	4	608	Mar 14, 2013 by Aloha
	New to this place (Preview) hello, I'm new here to this board and I wanted to introduce myself. I've dealt with alcoholism with my AB who is currently sober 4 years. The Active A in my house is my mom although she won't admit she has a problem and it tears me up inside to see her like this!! At times I want to punch a wall and scream and oth...	phoenixmagicgirl	4	225	Mar 14, 2013 by Aloha
	Do Co dependency and Al-Anon/Active A go together? (Preview) I'm a recovering Co-Dependent. Is there a link between being co-dependent and having an Active A in your life? Thanks!	phoenixmagicgirl	7	318	Mar 14, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	how to begin step #1...very confused... (Preview) I'm new here to this board, and wanted to know...how do I begin step #1? The website that is posted that lists the steps for Al-Anon, I find very confusing. I won't have a chance to go to my first Al-Anon meeting until a few weeks from now...how can I do step #1 in the meantime?	phoenixmagicgirl	5	447	Mar 14, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	Nothing Life Threatening, Just Needs Your In-Put (Preview) I thought in my mind one day I would not be able to fly anymore because I would be afraid. I thought in my mind that someday I would not be able to drive on the California freeway. I feel like I don't want to subject myself to any of that. And I think that time has arrived. But how do I visit, how do I see my sisters...	oldergal	3	224	Mar 14, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	The mornings are hard too (Preview) So, it feels like all I do lately is post here and email my sponsor ... Its been three looong weeks. Three lonely weeks. Last nite when my ah left again for the night I did a pretty.good job of finding peace. Connected with my sponsor, gave fear over to hp...and did sleep. Howver, then morning came....obv...	Theoceancalls	7	378	Mar 14, 2013 by Temple
	Denial (Preview) You know, it sure is safe to have someone else to focus on. I wondered for years why I stayed with my A...and after being apart and now divorced...I think I stayed in it for my self-esteem. I was NEVER as 'xxxx' up as HE was. As long as I focussed on him, I was a saint. Nothing wrong with ME. Denial isn't just f...	rehprof	7	944	Mar 14, 2013 by rehprof
	My father is getting worse and worse. (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of the fellowship of al-anon. The alcoholic that qualifies me for al-anon is my father. Over the years he has seen it all as an alcoholic. Layoffs, bankruptcy, DUI, rehab..... Recently, he took 2 months off work to deal with depression. He sp...	slogan_jim	3	288	Mar 14, 2013 by pinkchip
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.