Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

el-cee · el-cee

I have been working my program and even though there are lots going on in my family that is upsetting I have been quite proud of myself for keeping a smile on my face, continuing to focus on my own life and generally feeling ok about this bad situation. But then I notice that I can hardly keep from being judg...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I had a revelation so to speak this morning..I've accepted that I can't control her drinking, I didn't cause her drinking and I can't cure her of her drinking...Just like when my brother used to drink this took me a long time to realize and accept. (my brother has been sober for 4 years). I just wanted to s...

beeurip · beeurip

My Son's father is an addict and an alcoholic. He has always used some type of substance. Pot, Cocaine, Booze, Pills... Our first 4 years were a roller coaster to say the least. I feel in love with him almost immediately. It was the same for him. I was a sophomore in college and he was 8 years my senior. I smo...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

This may sound odd but I'm having trouble accepting my mothers drinking even though I live at home with her and my dad and brother. This may sound mean and I don't intend it to be but it would be so much easier for me to deal with/accept if my mom would just admit she has a problem and go to an outpatient facili...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

AH is coming out of his most recent depressed mood and seems more manic today. Scares me, because this is when he is more likely to binge drink. The good news is, he admiited to feeling manic, I'm encouraged that he is at least aware. He is 6 days sober today, still working his IOP. I am hoping that tomorr...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Hello again everybody... I was wondering if anybody out there would share their advice for how to have a successful talk with an A about the future. I don't know that such a thing exists in reality, but I guess I'm wondering how to express my feelings and views on my situation with ABF in a way that will som...

canadianguy · canadianguy

There seem to be a lot of posts these days looking for some clarity around what Al-Anon is, and what it is not.... The first segment (in italics) is taken directly from the Al-Anon website, and gives an overview of what Al-Anon is..... The second segment is just some random thoughts that I threw toge...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, I think AH's disease is progressing. He is away for business and called me twice this week drunk. This AM he texted me and told me he was sorry that he didn't call me back and that he had gone to be early. Umm, here we go again. He DID call me back, but he hung up after 2 rings and the proceeded to text me t...

John · John

First and foremost, I stayed sober... didn't throw bad thoughts at anyone, including myself.... and second, I did some marketing stuff on my truck and online. Here are some pictures of what I created today.Just getting ready for a spring and summer full of good work, but it doesn't happen without my...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

My AH is actively attending meetings and has been for quite some time. He has been sober on and off and lately, for a few years, "under the influence, not drunk, but buzzed, which he can hide but not from me. I know his speech and his physical movements which gives him away. I do not ask if he has bee...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

I keep getting a " message too short" error when trying to send pm....tried today and yesterday....any ideas.thanks

hope4ever · hope4ever

I am in an online group and there is a lady there who always wants to tell me "the right answer". It is like she sees me as a little child who needs her motherly advice. It instantly puts me feeling as if I am a child again. My mom always needed me to "need her" so that she could feel be...

RSanders · RSanders

I am going absolutely out of my mind with myself lately. Most of this has to do with being around my verbally abusive alcoholic mother. I'm afraid to move out in case anything happens to her. I just started school, was paying for it on my own fine. My mom is currently unemployed and sits around drinking a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am still recovering from the anxiety of receiving the money from the sale of my parents' house. It was coming since January when I found about it & spent the last nearly two months anticipating its arrival. I felt like I was spending the money in my head. It is so crazy to get money like that when you(...

willowtree · willowtree

Hello, I am an introvert and an HSP (Highly sensitive person). About 15% of the population are HSP's. I really enjoy going to my meetings and I do contribute in my own way. I am not an "out there" "loud" person. I speak more quietly and people have told me they think I am shy. I a...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

hello, I'm new here to this board and I wanted to introduce myself. I've dealt with alcoholism with my AB who is currently sober 4 years. The Active A in my house is my mom although she won't admit she has a problem and it tears me up inside to see her like this!! At times I want to punch a wall and scream and oth...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I'm a recovering Co-Dependent. Is there a link between being co-dependent and having an Active A in your life? Thanks!

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I'm new here to this board, and wanted to know...how do I begin step #1? The website that is posted that lists the steps for Al-Anon, I find very confusing. I won't have a chance to go to my first Al-Anon meeting until a few weeks from now...how can I do step #1 in the meantime?

oldergal · oldergal

I thought in my mind one day I would not be able to fly anymore because I would be afraid. I thought in my mind that someday I would not be able to drive on the California freeway. I feel like I don't want to subject myself to any of that. And I think that time has arrived. But how do I visit, how do I see my sisters...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So, it feels like all I do lately is post here and email my sponsor ... Its been three looong weeks. Three lonely weeks. Last nite when my ah left again for the night I did a pretty.good job of finding peace. Connected with my sponsor, gave fear over to hp...and did sleep. Howver, then morning came....obv...

rehprof · rehprof

You know, it sure is safe to have someone else to focus on. I wondered for years why I stayed with my A...and after being apart and now divorced...I think I stayed in it for my self-esteem. I was NEVER as 'xxxx' up as HE was. As long as I focussed on him, I was a saint. Nothing wrong with ME. Denial isn't just f...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of the fellowship of al-anon. The alcoholic that qualifies me for al-anon is my father. Over the years he has seen it all as an alcoholic. Layoffs, bankruptcy, DUI, rehab..... Recently, he took 2 months off work to deal with depression. He sp...

scaredandconfused · scaredandconfused

Today my husband had court for DUI. I was subpoenaed as a witness. I called the police on him after a domestic incident and he was arrested for DUI after driving away when the police arrived. Of course he totally blames me for his arrest and has this whole crazy scenario in his head how I carried him out o...

Tracey C · Tracey C

B.)) I receive so many emails and calls from spouses of alcoholics, who all tell me, in varying ways, ''My husband is a drinking alcoholic. We have twin 11-year-olds and he wants a divorce. I feel devastated and don't want this. I was seeing a therapist, who told me to just learn how to ''deta...

laurab · laurab

i have been here 6 days. we leave tomorrow. son is a mess. His gait is unbalanced, his speech is garbled his hans shake. he can hardly read and write. he was in the hospital for 9 days. prior to that he drank beer in his room for 3 weeks his stomach was pumped and lots of med inluding lithium. from the hospital...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

AH just called me. He was sent from his outpatient program to the local ER to be "medically cleared" for a new prescription. He was stressed about going to the ER again (third time in 2 weeks) and at the end said, "maybe I should just go home - this is crazy". I said, "No, do the r...

Mama Marie · Mama Marie

Hello!! I am brand new to this site. I've been reading over some posts and trying to decide if I should jump in and share my story. Something lead me to you guys tonight, so I figure I have nothing to lose! :) So here goes nothing..... First and foremost I am a mom to 3 wonderful children. They are my entire li...

oldergal · oldergal

When my son was still in deep insanity in his drinking, I did not seek him out for any reason. Because I could not handle anything that he was going to say or look at the condition he was in or even hear his hard luck stories. He knew I would not give him money. Occasionally he would text and say I am still ali...

John · John

dogsaremyhigherpower · dogsaremyhigherpower

Hello, I am just heartsick tonight and want someone to hear it because I don't know what to do with all of my emotional pain. My thirty year relationship with my AH is in a spiral because of repeated relapses he has had with his disease. We have had long periods of sobriety followed by relapses every few...

Temple · Temple

There's an article on AOL this morning by Tina Marie Swithin, who has written "Divorcing a Narcissist, One Woman's Battle." It gave me cold chills. As bad as dealing with a mean alcoholic can be, the Narcissistic Personality Disorder(ed) person is like that in spades and on steroids. ...

leeannalove · leeannalove

New to this program (Al-Non) and chat room. I am not new to living with an alcoholic but I am new to living with someone who is putting fourth an effort of becoming a recovering alcoholic. I have been married to this person for six years now. I still worry that he is going to not be at home when I get home fro...

Smollen · Smollen

So my AH is leaving for rehab on Friday. It was either rehab or his own apartment. He is going to a really nice and expensive facility because he wouldn't go to a place that wasn't fancy. He is walking around my life feeling sorry for himself. Talking about how hard it is going to be for him and is upset wi...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Ive stayed for 13 yrs..we have one child. My ah is a most the time functioning active ah. If youve ever read my posts you know I seem to live from crisis to crisis. Im trying to work with alanon tools and an online sponsor but I get so messed up in my reacting. I lose sleep, have hbp, anxiety.....theres much a...

Rinn · Rinn

______ -- Edited by Rinn on Wednesday 13th of March 2013 01:05:29 AM

Clueless Optimist · Clueless Optimist

The bashing, the blaming, the anger. What the hell? A/DA/PA Husband has been going to his outpatient treatment for about two weeks now and it's been up and down since. I really don't know how to act around him. My understanding of being supportive is to leave him alone and let him talk to me about his trea...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Does anyone know if there's a website that posts the readings each day from Hope For Today and/or Courage To Change?

KLotus · KLotus

I made the decision to file for divorce, and for a Civil Protection Order. The CPO was issued, and still in place - just revised - both I and my 2 year old child are on it. For now (until we arrange visitation in the divorce), he gets my her every other weekend, entirely supervised by his parents, at thei...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha MIP Family and I am posting this as a response to some why questions DebLisa posted below that reminded me of when I was asking my own versions of the "Why" questions as a newbie in Al-Anon. I am a double winner...a member of both Al-Anon and AA with AA coming after 9 years of being al...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Just heard from my son. He sold his baby ( car ) and will now have the money he needs so he won't be homeless for the short term. Oh so much money....... God give me the strength and courage to keep my mouth shut.

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

real quick: Here comes the money! I have to stand back & make decisions based on what I know & feel. I just need to be careful. But, I am scared. Fear leave me now! Kathleen

Smollen · Smollen

I am new here, so-Hi. When I met my husband of 19 yrs, he had already clean and sober. He remained that way for 17 years. Then 2 years ago I begin to notice thechanges. No overt drinking just personality changes like sullenness, lying over "mostly" stupid things, then the slips begin byst...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So...its been two and half weeks since returning from family vaction and I am quite sure my ah has been drunk or drinking more than not. Other than maybe three nights im quite sure ive slept alone either because he was out all night and finally came home and slept on the couch, or he was too hungover to wake...

chinup · chinup

hi everyone ive been missing you all,been hectic around here for sure well as for my update im been really down lately not just with my greiveing my loss of my precious mother but everything hitting me too ,bills,being very sick with crud and going through menopause,and getting my 1st ticket not havei...

hippychik45 · hippychik45

Hi my name is dawn and im an addict. i have 5 years sober may 5th.. but my concern today is my step daughter started cutting her self. she has alot of issues going on but ver sistant. we have her in counsilin and stable on medication and at the moment seems fine. she is very lonely but won alow anyon in, she nee...

lost87 · lost87

I am the adult child of an alcoholic. My mother began drinking about 9 years ago, when she is sober she is my best friend. Her drinking habits consist of extreme periods of binging that result in her becomming unconscious and ending up in the ER, there have been many episodes where she mixed benzos with t...

Pushka · Pushka

Something I read in one of the posts struck me big time and that was the issue of not addressing the pink elephant in the room. When I first came into Alanon I only knew to address everything bluntly with no filter, no courtesy and def no kindness. The first year in Alanon I thought I wasn't suppose to say...

Precious · Precious

I just found your Al-Anon message board tonight, and I am so grateful. My husband has been an alcoholic for around seven years, even though I only really started accepting that it was alcoholism a few years ago. We will be married 10 years this September, and I am so exhausted from what this disease has d...

astoria · astoria

I just thought to look on the internet for help and I've found you. Part of me still feels like what am I even doing here...but I do know I need some help learning how to deal with this. I read alot before posting. One question. If I'm angry, upset, resentful....what do I do in place of the 'silent' treat...

AngelicH57 · AngelicH57

We have 4 children, all are happily married with families of their own except the youngest our AD. I drive myself crazy trying to understand why she can't be like her siblings. We enabled her with money and used the excuses that she was just immature and couldn't handle her finances or keep jobs or frien...

AngelicH57 · AngelicH57

I came to this board a month ago seeking help for my alcoholic daughter. I never thought about it until now but I Am An Adult Child of an Alcoholic, my mother was co-dependant and enabled my father so history repeats itself. I've got a lot of work head....

oldergal · oldergal

Character defect and underlying symptom of the disease of alcoholism and drug abuse. I looked up Codependency, because that is what I was doing I was being codependent. Which means to me, that I was putting my self in my son's shoes and feeling emotionally and almost physically like his problems...

pinkchip · pinkchip

This is something I have been reading in several posts from folks lately. Comments like "He/She chose the alcohol over me" and "He chose the alcohol over his family." I just wanted to throw in my opinion (whatever it's worth) on this because this line of thinking only cause...

afglin · afglin

I did a google search for free alanon speaker tapes and one link brought me hre. I could not find them. Can somebody tell me where to find them here and if so, is ther a way to download to a CD so I can play it in my car? LIN

Heather 68 · Heather 68

So the ex ABF contacted me, thought those days were gone. Anyhow, he tried so very hard to push my buttons with tall tales of women and fun in his life while bitterly taking stabs at me for not wanting to be with him. I responded with compassion, tack and even empathy. He sure does not know how to take that, i...

lolabelle · lolabelle

Hello there, I am new to this site. I am hoping to become active with my own recovery from 22 years with an alcoholic emotional abuser. I left my husband 3 years ago, he has since stopped drinking through A.A. He kept pressuring me to here his amends, I was not ready for it, but finally told him that he shoul...

texasgal · texasgal

Im off today from one of my jobs im only working tonight so I texted my AH if he was coming home for lunch. Im tired today I think it was from all the walking at the fair. As we texted I said I had spoken to sponsor and I stated that I need not react to his behavior, that I need to ask HP for guidance, his issues of fe...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Some days, I want to turn into a tornado in this house and scream and throw things. I read and read on this forum, I go back over the steps and yet, I feel this rage and frustration inside. I read somewhere that anger is really fear. That could be true, because I fear doing this much longer and realize that it...

Victoria McLaughlin · Victoria McLaughlin

My name is Victoria McLaughlin, and I am a student in need of help with a class project--not research. Respectfully, I am listed on the William & Mary website, so that you may see my credientials and my student status in the Counselor Education program, and my smiling face. http://education.wm...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

There have been some questions regarding literature (books), what others would recommend and so on. For newcomers this could possibly be confusing when we start recommending outside literature without clarifying that it is not Al-Anon (CAL) literature. In Al-Anon meetings, we keep it Al-A...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Im still not perfect!!!! (Preview) I have been working my program and even though there are lots going on in my family that is upsetting I have been quite proud of myself for keeping a smile on my face, continuing to focus on my own life and generally feeling ok about this bad situation. But then I notice that I can hardly keep from being judg...	el-cee	4	324	Mar 16, 2013 by PP
	Acceptance of my AM drinking...a revelation for me. (Preview) I had a revelation so to speak this morning..I've accepted that I can't control her drinking, I didn't cause her drinking and I can't cure her of her drinking...Just like when my brother used to drink this took me a long time to realize and accept. (my brother has been sober for 4 years). I just wanted to s...	phoenixmagicgirl	4	201	Mar 16, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	This is new for me (Preview) My Son's father is an addict and an alcoholic. He has always used some type of substance. Pot, Cocaine, Booze, Pills... Our first 4 years were a roller coaster to say the least. I feel in love with him almost immediately. It was the same for him. I was a sophomore in college and he was 8 years my senior. I smo...	beeurip	3	261	Mar 16, 2013 by Path to Serenity
	Having difficulty accepting my AM drinking while she's at home (Preview) This may sound odd but I'm having trouble accepting my mothers drinking even though I live at home with her and my dad and brother. This may sound mean and I don't intend it to be but it would be so much easier for me to deal with/accept if my mom would just admit she has a problem and go to an outpatient facili...	phoenixmagicgirl	6	200	Mar 15, 2013 by Aloha
	AH Manic Mood (Preview) AH is coming out of his most recent depressed mood and seems more manic today. Scares me, because this is when he is more likely to binge drink. The good news is, he admiited to feeling manic, I'm encouraged that he is at least aware. He is 6 days sober today, still working his IOP. I am hoping that tomorr...	ParisMemories	4	320	Mar 15, 2013 by ParisMemories
	I need to have "The Talk" with ABF (Preview) Hello again everybody... I was wondering if anybody out there would share their advice for how to have a successful talk with an A about the future. I don't know that such a thing exists in reality, but I guess I'm wondering how to express my feelings and views on my situation with ABF in a way that will som...	Raven Juniper	12	368	Mar 15, 2013 by giraffe13
	What is Al-Anon? What is Al-Anon NOT? (Preview) There seem to be a lot of posts these days looking for some clarity around what Al-Anon is, and what it is not.... The first segment (in italics) is taken directly from the Al-Anon website, and gives an overview of what Al-Anon is..... The second segment is just some random thoughts that I threw toge...	canadianguy	10	1014	Mar 15, 2013 by Jozie
	Keeping my peace and serenity in the midst of chaos! (Preview) So, I think AH's disease is progressing. He is away for business and called me twice this week drunk. This AM he texted me and told me he was sorry that he didn't call me back and that he had gone to be early. Umm, here we go again. He DID call me back, but he hung up after 2 rings and the proceeded to text me t...	ilovedogs	6	363	Mar 15, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	What I did today... (Preview) First and foremost, I stayed sober... didn't throw bad thoughts at anyone, including myself.... and second, I did some marketing stuff on my truck and online. Here are some pictures of what I created today.Just getting ready for a spring and summer full of good work, but it doesn't happen without my...	John	5	276	Mar 15, 2013 by PP
	The rollercoaster of alcoholism and my survival (Preview) My AH is actively attending meetings and has been for quite some time. He has been sober on and off and lately, for a few years, "under the influence, not drunk, but buzzed, which he can hide but not from me. I know his speech and his physical movements which gives him away. I do not ask if he has bee...	wifeofalcoholic	4	472	Mar 15, 2013 by giraffe13
	Tech diff (Preview) I keep getting a " message too short" error when trying to send pm....tried today and yesterday....any ideas.thanks	Theoceancalls	1	164	Mar 15, 2013 by likemyheart
	Do I play the "poor me" card? (Preview) I am in an online group and there is a lady there who always wants to tell me "the right answer". It is like she sees me as a little child who needs her motherly advice. It instantly puts me feeling as if I am a child again. My mom always needed me to "need her" so that she could feel be...	hope4ever	4	332	Mar 15, 2013 by AngelicH57
	I'm going crazy, I don't know what to do anymore. No one cares. (Preview) I am going absolutely out of my mind with myself lately. Most of this has to do with being around my verbally abusive alcoholic mother. I'm afraid to move out in case anything happens to her. I just started school, was paying for it on my own fine. My mom is currently unemployed and sits around drinking a...	RSanders	5	393	Mar 15, 2013 by pinkchip
	my life can & will get better! (Preview) I am still recovering from the anxiety of receiving the money from the sale of my parents' house. It was coming since January when I found about it & spent the last nearly two months anticipating its arrival. I felt like I was spending the money in my head. It is so crazy to get money like that when you(...	Hoot Nanny	1	190	Mar 15, 2013 by PP
	introverts or HSP's here? (Preview) Hello, I am an introvert and an HSP (Highly sensitive person). About 15% of the population are HSP's. I really enjoy going to my meetings and I do contribute in my own way. I am not an "out there" "loud" person. I speak more quietly and people have told me they think I am shy. I a...	willowtree	4	509	Mar 14, 2013 by Aloha
	New to this place (Preview) hello, I'm new here to this board and I wanted to introduce myself. I've dealt with alcoholism with my AB who is currently sober 4 years. The Active A in my house is my mom although she won't admit she has a problem and it tears me up inside to see her like this!! At times I want to punch a wall and scream and oth...	phoenixmagicgirl	4	207	Mar 14, 2013 by Aloha
	Do Co dependency and Al-Anon/Active A go together? (Preview) I'm a recovering Co-Dependent. Is there a link between being co-dependent and having an Active A in your life? Thanks!	phoenixmagicgirl	7	294	Mar 14, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	how to begin step #1...very confused... (Preview) I'm new here to this board, and wanted to know...how do I begin step #1? The website that is posted that lists the steps for Al-Anon, I find very confusing. I won't have a chance to go to my first Al-Anon meeting until a few weeks from now...how can I do step #1 in the meantime?	phoenixmagicgirl	5	431	Mar 14, 2013 by phoenixmagicgirl
	Nothing Life Threatening, Just Needs Your In-Put (Preview) I thought in my mind one day I would not be able to fly anymore because I would be afraid. I thought in my mind that someday I would not be able to drive on the California freeway. I feel like I don't want to subject myself to any of that. And I think that time has arrived. But how do I visit, how do I see my sisters...	oldergal	3	201	Mar 14, 2013 by LeenieBeanie
	The mornings are hard too (Preview) So, it feels like all I do lately is post here and email my sponsor ... Its been three looong weeks. Three lonely weeks. Last nite when my ah left again for the night I did a pretty.good job of finding peace. Connected with my sponsor, gave fear over to hp...and did sleep. Howver, then morning came....obv...	Theoceancalls	7	358	Mar 14, 2013 by Temple
	Denial (Preview) You know, it sure is safe to have someone else to focus on. I wondered for years why I stayed with my A...and after being apart and now divorced...I think I stayed in it for my self-esteem. I was NEVER as 'xxxx' up as HE was. As long as I focussed on him, I was a saint. Nothing wrong with ME. Denial isn't just f...	rehprof	7	920	Mar 14, 2013 by rehprof
	My father is getting worse and worse. (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of the fellowship of al-anon. The alcoholic that qualifies me for al-anon is my father. Over the years he has seen it all as an alcoholic. Layoffs, bankruptcy, DUI, rehab..... Recently, he took 2 months off work to deal with depression. He sp...	slogan_jim	3	267	Mar 14, 2013 by pinkchip
	Once again he makes the wrong choice (Preview) Today my husband had court for DUI. I was subpoenaed as a witness. I called the police on him after a domestic incident and he was arrested for DUI after driving away when the police arrived. Of course he totally blames me for his arrest and has this whole crazy scenario in his head how I carried him out o...	scaredandconfused	5	302	Mar 14, 2013 by pinkchip
	Words of Wisdom by Toby Rice Drews (Preview) B.)) I receive so many emails and calls from spouses of alcoholics, who all tell me, in varying ways, ''My husband is a drinking alcoholic. We have twin 11-year-olds and he wants a divorce. I feel devastated and don't want this. I was seeing a therapist, who told me to just learn how to ''deta...	Tracey C	3	493	Mar 14, 2013 by el-cee
	update from phuket (Preview) i have been here 6 days. we leave tomorrow. son is a mess. His gait is unbalanced, his speech is garbled his hans shake. he can hardly read and write. he was in the hospital for 9 days. prior to that he drank beer in his room for 3 weeks his stomach was pumped and lots of med inluding lithium. from the hospital...	laurab	8	365	Mar 14, 2013 by AngelicH57
	Worried (Preview) AH just called me. He was sent from his outpatient program to the local ER to be "medically cleared" for a new prescription. He was stressed about going to the ER again (third time in 2 weeks) and at the end said, "maybe I should just go home - this is crazy". I said, "No, do the r...	ParisMemories	8	350	Mar 14, 2013 by el-cee
	Ready to leave, but too scared to follow through! (Preview) Hello!! I am brand new to this site. I've been reading over some posts and trying to decide if I should jump in and share my story. Something lead me to you guys tonight, so I figure I have nothing to lose! :) So here goes nothing..... First and foremost I am a mom to 3 wonderful children. They are my entire li...	Mama Marie	4	327	Mar 13, 2013 by Auntyaya
	HEARING FROM HIM (Preview) When my son was still in deep insanity in his drinking, I did not seek him out for any reason. Because I could not handle anything that he was going to say or look at the condition he was in or even hear his hard luck stories. He knew I would not give him money. Occasionally he would text and say I am still ali...	oldergal	6	389	Mar 13, 2013 by Highlyfavored
	Everybody falls sometime... (Preview)	John	3	319	Mar 13, 2013 by PP
	New to this group, hello out there, feeling heartsick and losing hope... (Preview) Hello, I am just heartsick tonight and want someone to hear it because I don't know what to do with all of my emotional pain. My thirty year relationship with my AH is in a spiral because of repeated relapses he has had with his disease. We have had long periods of sobriety followed by relapses every few...	dogsaremyhigherpower	4	311	Mar 13, 2013 by PP
	Does this help? (It could be worse, apparently.) (Preview) There's an article on AOL this morning by Tina Marie Swithin, who has written "Divorcing a Narcissist, One Woman's Battle." It gave me cold chills. As bad as dealing with a mean alcoholic can be, the Narcissistic Personality Disorder(ed) person is like that in spades and on steroids. ...	Temple	1	245	Mar 13, 2013 by milkwood
	Ideas in my mind (Preview) New to this program (Al-Non) and chat room. I am not new to living with an alcoholic but I am new to living with someone who is putting fourth an effort of becoming a recovering alcoholic. I have been married to this person for six years now. I still worry that he is going to not be at home when I get home fro...	leeannalove	2	554	Mar 13, 2013 by el-cee
	AH looking for my sympathy for his pity party (Preview) So my AH is leaving for rehab on Friday. It was either rehab or his own apartment. He is going to a really nice and expensive facility because he wouldn't go to a place that wasn't fancy. He is walking around my life feeling sorry for himself. Talking about how hard it is going to be for him and is upset wi...	Smollen	2	255	Mar 13, 2013 by Jerry F
	To wives staying with active ah (Preview) Ive stayed for 13 yrs..we have one child. My ah is a most the time functioning active ah. If youve ever read my posts you know I seem to live from crisis to crisis. Im trying to work with alanon tools and an online sponsor but I get so messed up in my reacting. I lose sleep, have hbp, anxiety.....theres much a...	Theoceancalls	3	302	Mar 13, 2013 by Mama Marie
	I need help, I thought I was doing ok but WHAM yesterday happened. spouse addition pain pills meth kids (Preview) ______ -- Edited by Rinn on Wednesday 13th of March 2013 01:05:29 AM	Rinn	4	5993	Mar 13, 2013 by Rinn
	When is it gonna end? (Preview) The bashing, the blaming, the anger. What the hell? A/DA/PA Husband has been going to his outpatient treatment for about two weeks now and it's been up and down since. I really don't know how to act around him. My understanding of being supportive is to leave him alone and let him talk to me about his trea...	Clueless Optimist	10	458	Mar 13, 2013 by Mattie
	Online Literature? (Preview) Does anyone know if there's a website that posts the readings each day from Hope For Today and/or Courage To Change?	WorkingThroughIt	1	167	Mar 12, 2013 by canadianguy
	I have done it - support please! (Preview) I made the decision to file for divorce, and for a Civil Protection Order. The CPO was issued, and still in place - just revised - both I and my 2 year old child are on it. For now (until we arrange visitation in the divorce), he gets my her every other weekend, entirely supervised by his parents, at thei...	KLotus	4	256	Mar 12, 2013 by PP
	If you only knew... (Preview) Aloha MIP Family and I am posting this as a response to some why questions DebLisa posted below that reminded me of when I was asking my own versions of the "Why" questions as a newbie in Al-Anon. I am a double winner...a member of both Al-Anon and AA with AA coming after 9 years of being al...	Jerry F	8	543	Mar 12, 2013 by el-cee
	The car is sold (Preview) Just heard from my son. He sold his baby ( car ) and will now have the money he needs so he won't be homeless for the short term. Oh so much money....... God give me the strength and courage to keep my mouth shut.	Cathyinaz	11	414	Mar 12, 2013 by el-cee
	here it comes... (Preview) real quick: Here comes the money! I have to stand back & make decisions based on what I know & feel. I just need to be careful. But, I am scared. Fear leave me now! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	2	189	Mar 12, 2013 by el-cee
	Who takes care of me? (Preview) I am new here, so-Hi. When I met my husband of 19 yrs, he had already clean and sober. He remained that way for 17 years. Then 2 years ago I begin to notice thechanges. No overt drinking just personality changes like sullenness, lying over "mostly" stupid things, then the slips begin byst...	Smollen	9	582	Mar 12, 2013 by Rinn
	I think hes getting worse, and so am I Desperate for sanity (Preview) So...its been two and half weeks since returning from family vaction and I am quite sure my ah has been drunk or drinking more than not. Other than maybe three nights im quite sure ive slept alone either because he was out all night and finally came home and slept on the couch, or he was too hungover to wake...	Theoceancalls	6	390	Mar 12, 2013 by Theoceancalls
	update and checking in. (Preview) hi everyone ive been missing you all,been hectic around here for sure well as for my update im been really down lately not just with my greiveing my loss of my precious mother but everything hitting me too ,bills,being very sick with crud and going through menopause,and getting my 1st ticket not havei...	chinup	2	347	Mar 12, 2013 by Breakingfree
	my concern is of my step daughter (Preview) Hi my name is dawn and im an addict. i have 5 years sober may 5th.. but my concern today is my step daughter started cutting her self. she has alot of issues going on but ver sistant. we have her in counsilin and stable on medication and at the moment seems fine. she is very lonely but won alow anyon in, she nee...	hippychik45	3	268	Mar 12, 2013 by hippychik45
	When is it okay to cut ties? (Preview) I am the adult child of an alcoholic. My mother began drinking about 9 years ago, when she is sober she is my best friend. Her drinking habits consist of extreme periods of binging that result in her becomming unconscious and ending up in the ER, there have been many episodes where she mixed benzos with t...	lost87	4	367	Mar 12, 2013 by Breakingfree
	What I have learned .. (Preview) Something I read in one of the posts struck me big time and that was the issue of not addressing the pink elephant in the room. When I first came into Alanon I only knew to address everything bluntly with no filter, no courtesy and def no kindness. The first year in Alanon I thought I wasn't suppose to say...	Pushka	5	408	Mar 12, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Hello, Everyone. My First Post. (Preview) I just found your Al-Anon message board tonight, and I am so grateful. My husband has been an alcoholic for around seven years, even though I only really started accepting that it was alcoholism a few years ago. We will be married 10 years this September, and I am so exhausted from what this disease has d...	Precious	7	440	Mar 12, 2013 by Courage
	Hello, I'm a newbie...so confused. (Preview) I just thought to look on the internet for help and I've found you. Part of me still feels like what am I even doing here...but I do know I need some help learning how to deal with this. I read alot before posting. One question. If I'm angry, upset, resentful....what do I do in place of the 'silent' treat...	astoria	7	351	Mar 12, 2013 by giraffe13
	Looking the other way... (Preview) We have 4 children, all are happily married with families of their own except the youngest our AD. I drive myself crazy trying to understand why she can't be like her siblings. We enabled her with money and used the excuses that she was just immature and couldn't handle her finances or keep jobs or frien...	AngelicH57	4	256	Mar 12, 2013 by Chicago Bears
	I just realized (Preview) I came to this board a month ago seeking help for my alcoholic daughter. I never thought about it until now but I Am An Adult Child of an Alcoholic, my mother was co-dependant and enabled my father so history repeats itself. I've got a lot of work head....	AngelicH57	5	306	Mar 12, 2013 by Path to Serenity
	Codependent/Rumination (Preview) Character defect and underlying symptom of the disease of alcoholism and drug abuse. I looked up Codependency, because that is what I was doing I was being codependent. Which means to me, that I was putting my self in my son's shoes and feeling emotionally and almost physically like his problems...	oldergal	2	3339	Mar 12, 2013 by Findinghope
	Alcohol never wins (Preview) This is something I have been reading in several posts from folks lately. Comments like "He/She chose the alcohol over me" and "He chose the alcohol over his family." I just wanted to throw in my opinion (whatever it's worth) on this because this line of thinking only cause...	pinkchip	11	526	Mar 11, 2013 by Findinghope
	free speaker tapes? (Preview) I did a google search for free alanon speaker tapes and one link brought me hre. I could not find them. Can somebody tell me where to find them here and if so, is ther a way to download to a CD so I can play it in my car? LIN	afglin	1	1175	Mar 12, 2013 by Green Eyes
	A pat on the back for me!! (Preview) So the ex ABF contacted me, thought those days were gone. Anyhow, he tried so very hard to push my buttons with tall tales of women and fun in his life while bitterly taking stabs at me for not wanting to be with him. I responded with compassion, tack and even empathy. He sure does not know how to take that, i...	Heather 68	3	208	Mar 12, 2013 by hotrod
	He thinks he's made amends (Preview) Hello there, I am new to this site. I am hoping to become active with my own recovery from 22 years with an alcoholic emotional abuser. I left my husband 3 years ago, he has since stopped drinking through A.A. He kept pressuring me to here his amends, I was not ready for it, but finally told him that he shoul...	lolabelle	7	358	Mar 12, 2013 by lolabelle
	Did I do wrong?? (Preview) Im off today from one of my jobs im only working tonight so I texted my AH if he was coming home for lunch. Im tired today I think it was from all the walking at the fair. As we texted I said I had spoken to sponsor and I stated that I need not react to his behavior, that I need to ask HP for guidance, his issues of fe...	texasgal	7	366	Mar 12, 2013 by Jerry F
	Some Days (Preview) Some days, I want to turn into a tornado in this house and scream and throw things. I read and read on this forum, I go back over the steps and yet, I feel this rage and frustration inside. I read somewhere that anger is really fear. That could be true, because I fear doing this much longer and realize that it...	Raven Juniper	3	313	Mar 12, 2013 by Jerry F
	Respectful request (Preview) My name is Victoria McLaughlin, and I am a student in need of help with a class project--not research. Respectfully, I am listed on the William & Mary website, so that you may see my credientials and my student status in the Counselor Education program, and my smiling face. http://education.wm...	Victoria McLaughlin	0	259	Mar 11, 2013 by Victoria McLaughlin
	CAL (Conference Approved Literature) vs. Outside Literature (Preview) There have been some questions regarding literature (books), what others would recommend and so on. For newcomers this could possibly be confusing when we start recommending outside literature without clarifying that it is not Al-Anon (CAL) literature. In Al-Anon meetings, we keep it Al-A...	kismetstrand	3	481	Mar 11, 2013 by KL
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.