The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Lately my soberAH hasn't been coming home until Sunday morning. I'm off on saturday and Sunday this weekend. I know i cant change his actions but I need to find something to do. I only have plans for saturday morning. I plan to go to a meeting but other than that I don't have anything. I don't want to be cooped up in this house with only my sad feelings. I hate the weekend their was a time when it was a joy to be off but now it only means loneliness and heartbrake. I wish it were different but its not. The reality is my soberAH would rather be wherever he goes than be with me. I can't change it and I can't make him stay. All I have left is me and my HP.
My son will be getting out of detox on Saturday and I don't want to engulf myself in his stuff so I plan on working in my garden - gotta get the tomato plants in the ground before it gets too hot. :-} I'm totally at peace when I'm out in the garden.
Well Seems like a Great time to treat yourself to a Nice Pedicure, Manicure, Lunch with friends, Call up someone you Love & Ask if they can Hang Out! Find something that YOU LOVE! Other then Your AH, Do your Craft? Like Craft Shows? Walking around flee Markets, A Nice Walk on a Nice Day always Helps me Clear my Head, Is there something You have been wanting to do but can't get him too.. Go Do that... When the A See's that you are Taking better Care of you! and Not Focusing on Them, Alot of the times things will change! But we have to be willing to step out of our Comfort Zone and See what this Great big World has to offer! You Can do this! And You are So Worth it, So Chin Up...
If you Go to F2F Meetings, find someone there you feel safe with, and maybe invite them out of Tea... All these things will help bring some light back into your world... And a Weekend off Can & Should be a Wonderful thing, So Enjoy every moment you can!
Glad your Here :) Please Take what you like & Leave the Rest!
Thx for ur posts I started thinking abt whst I like to do and all I know how to do is work and watch tv. I used to read a lot when I was young but I only read to escape reality I think I do the same with tv. One of my coworkers sent a group text that they are having a bday party for at their home tomorrow night. I don't have plans so I said I would go.
Birthday Parties...... it will be fun so please go and enjoy yourself and tell us all how it went.
I get so lonely sometimes but I found a lot of reading of my Al-anon books and lit. give me peace and also takes time. I find writing in my journal shows me my progress and I can go back anytime I want. Start one....go to the store and pick out a pretty one with a nice pen and get started. Mine is all pink with flowers.
((( hugs )))
__________________
Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Dear Texas Gal - I can totally relate. Today, my STBXAH finished his last day in rehab. He is not coming home - decided to start a new life with a mistress. Divorce is under way. And it's the first REALLY nice weekend where I live (not far from TX, in fact).
EVERYTHING that I do outside reminds me of him - we used to love this time of year because we'd start our garden, get the backyard ready for BBQs and family events, hang out and enjoy the weather. I'm a lot like our fellow poster Path to Serenity on this one.
This weekend, for the first time in 10 years, I'm doing all these things on my own. I told my therapist that I feel like I don't have enough new memories to cancel out the old ones. And the good memories at times like this come to the surface instead of the bad ones that I cried and prayed about. Why can't I remember the bad things as easily as the good times. I HATE that! :)
But she told me it's OK to do things one day at a time, that I can still do things we enjoyed together if I still like to do them, and the new memories will come in time.
So I'm going to try and make some new memories this weekend. Got a late afternoon appt for a massage (check out beauty colleges - you can get massages/manis/facials for less than half the price). Made some fresh iced tea, have all the doors and windows open to let in the fresh air, gonna go pick up some yard maintenance items from the home improvement store later today. Got my PC all set up to play some great music. Will definently be watching Selection Sunday - college hoops is my favorite and my alma mater could very well be a #2 seed in the bracket. And all of this without alcohol and drama! What a true joy!
We all have to start somewhere, dear sister. (((hugs))) and go make your own memories! I'll be thinking of you.
First off Howdy! And HUGS! :) I'm a Texan too-feel free to PM me if you'd like to see if we live nearby. I go to meetings but don't have any meeting friends to hang out with. I'm at least close through the Internet, lol!
Secondly, I agree-you have to find things to do that are for you. I'm having a hard time with that myself. AH and I usually did everything together until he started using-now it's rarely us doing anything, esp on the weekends. I don't have a lot of extra money, so I try to find cheap things to do-walking the mall, getting a coffee, or joining a group (I've been looking on Meetup for groups nearby and have started going to a new church and will join their activities). I'm a crafter, so I find ideas on pinterest.
Keep coming back!
One more fellow texan here, wouldn't it be great if we were
Anywhere near Close together?
I find weekend difficult too.. They seems to drag on & I think of things to so but can't seem to force myself to do them. Thank you for the wonderful list of ideas!
Hugs to you all. Been there, lonely too, lonely and stuck in the house looking after my son. Trying to think of something fun for us to do but he's an only child and he only wants to do stuff with his buddies and Sunday is family time for everyone else, and we have no family here and my ah is in his own world. Keep your chin up and I will do the same, one day at a time. It is cold but sunny here so maybe I can get time in the garden today or get a bike ride in. Find something you like and do it. Try to get outside at least once every day even if its only for a little walk. You all try and I'll try and let me know how today goes. Hugs Hugs.
