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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Im still not perfect!!!!
Post Info TOPIC: Im still not perfect!!!!
el-cee


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Im still not perfect!!!!
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I have been working my program and even though there are lots going on in my family that is upsetting I have been quite proud of myself for keeping a smile on my face, continuing to focus on my own life and generally feeling ok about this bad situation.

But then I notice that I can hardly keep from being judgemental at some point with someone in my day. So, Im still thinking well done lc, you are coping so well and giving myself a wee pat on the back but really my resentment and whatever I have inside has been bubbling out in a passive aggressive way. Today at work I was horrible to someone I actually really like and I feel terrible about it. Thats the truth but since I have been beating myself up and I know thats not the answer either. Im not sure what to do with this, I know I havent been keeping up with my daily reading and my just for today card and I have not really sat down with my steps for a while.

Im not sure if I have been denying my feelings about the family situation and they have been bottled up and coming out in a negative way. My question is how can I deal with myself in a healthier way because I dont want this to keep happening. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks.x



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Cathyinaz


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I'm so sorry your going through this. I find if I don't keep up on my steps I have a problem. I need to keep focused and continue to work them one by one. Like you say your being judgmental towards people. Write it down on a piece of paper. Now work with that one defect. If your anything like me it will take a lot of thought and praying to come to some conclusion and the need to work it, if you work it is going to be worth it. You have a sponsor so please ask for help.

This is not a marathon but a slow and steady pace. Practice, practice practice....

Also keep your boundaries in place and don't let anyone cross over that line.

Online help:

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t47170823/step-4-alanon/


(((( hugs ))))


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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
Pushka


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Lol.. your title makes me smilie. The best thing I can do when I am not perfect (and never will be) is go directly to the person I have to make the amends to and apologize for what I did. I'm not taking about I'm sorry but .. statements just this is what I did and I was wrong. Now I can figure out how to do it differently and show through my actions my intention to follow through. I have been really checking in with how I feel during certain situations as they happen. Then I can see immediately when I start the old behavior and correct it right there. It can mean me walking away to gather myself for a min, slogans, if I can call my sponsor I will. Just something to do anything different than I used to do. Don't be si hard and it's never going to be "perfect" it's going to be better than it used to be and that is really good!!! Hugs p :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Breakingfree


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You said you haven't been doing your daily readings which answers your own question. I know this human condition sometimes gets tiring, lol, but that is how we learn and grow. Keep on keeping on. Sending you love and support!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
PP


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For me, it works best if I clean it up with the person the best I can as soon as possible so I don't continue to suffer, then talk it over with a person that knows recovery work to help me get to what might be really bugging me.  You might learn something wonderful from the experience...it does hurt, though, when we hurt another.  Sometimes the relationship can actually deepen if the amend is deeply heartfelt.  There have been times, too, when I make it seem worse than it really is.  Progress not perfection, as the saying goes.  It is wonderful that you are working your program and recognize what might be missing.  We are way too hard on us, though  Be gentle.......hugs


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Paula
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Im still not perfect!!!!