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What to do?
(Preview)
Hi, My daughter has been an alcoholic for about a year now, and just returned from an inpatient rehab center. She has started work again, and asked to be put on anabuse. She has been home a week(she does not live in my state) and has been sick with a bad cold, so she has not attended AA yet. She says she want...
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Milo
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4
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182
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been there, done that,….but still triggers!
(Preview)
I have been enjoying Peace of mind more or less the past month. The reason being zero contact with ex A. Of course memories come back and i was mourning my losses.but that's part of healing right. The waves of emotion get less and less now for some reason he wrote me an email. Recalling ALL the memoriesal...
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tortuga
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10
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328
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our thoughts are our worst enemies
(Preview)
I just want to say, during a meditation this came into my mind. It seems like the biggest battle we have is the A. . but really it is our thoughts. If my thoughts are ok and I am in control, who can hurt me? Or control me? We all know this disease is not just physical, it is mental and in my experience he was ofte...
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giraffe13
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12
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316
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Concerto in BS major.
(Preview)
lol. Got suckered into a "deep and meaningful" conversation with A tonight. I felt that euphoric moment- he was asking me how I FEEL and I found just the right words and got on a roll and expressed myself...I've barely said a word to him for weeks...and he almost held up one of those old-fashi...
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Melly1248
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20
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677
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Detachment and other lessons learned
(Preview)
So, I really thought that I was going to have to move out. I got myself a place, even paid extra (go me) for a DVR. the funny thing is that I didn't move in. I think that many times the PROCESS of doing things for myself and making BIG decisions and STICKING to them (to a degree) is more healing than actually f...
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sadsusie
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10
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567
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new update
(Preview)
many of you have reached out to me so i need to reach back. you are an AMAZING grouo of of friends, yes friends. my non cyber friends are limited and judging. . . after almost walking out 8 days ago, i am still home. i am taking a slight break from therapy as i need a break from ME. LOL.i havent pushed marr cnslg...
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Theoceancalls
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6
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215
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Irish Proverb
(Preview)
"A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything."
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Beatrice
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8
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298
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Beginner
(Preview)
I have known that my. Husband(of 31 years) had a drinking problem for approx 15 years. 7 years ago he declared he was an alchoholic and joined AA. I went to one Alanon meeting, read a few books - he got his drinking under control ( only one relapse in the past 7 years) and continued to attend AA sporadicall...
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Deceived
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4
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795
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Thoughts
(Preview)
"Running away from things you find unpleasant causes suffering. But facing and challenging such situations will enrich your life." Daisaku Ikeda Buddhist philosopher
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Beatrice
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9
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273
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Good News :)
(Preview)
I am blessed .. I am so blessed sometimes I forget how blessed I am .. seriously speaking I just keep taking things one day at a time and God (HP) is teaching me to trust .. holy COW .. God teaches me to trust Him and myself. Right now I'm in the process of moving literally packing up and moving a house in 4 days...
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SerenityRUS
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9
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355
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I am better!!!!!
(Preview)
I did a simple surgery on my gums... yep I could not find any help! Was just too painful to do nothing. My son reminded me of Tom Hanks on that movie where he got stranded, using a ice skate and a rock I think it was. Well no one cared that it could kill me, but me. Meaning dentist. er said they could do nothing...
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Debilyn
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9
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429
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I really want to kill him!!
(Preview)
When he drinks his vodka shooters in the driveway after he gets home from work, stumbles in the house and says something really stupid, I just want to push him down the stairs, shoot him or stab him, or something. No dinner tonight, honey. He brings out the violence in me. One time, I took his glasse...
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genie1000
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10
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572
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Proud of my son; fallout from AH
(Preview)
I didn't know how to title this thread. Some of you may remember that AH was planning on taking ds(our son) on a whirlwind 2 week around the world trip in October. AH was all excited about it and ds....not so much. The grandiosity of the trip, itself, was quite astonishing. He wanted to go to Tokyo, So...
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ilovedogs
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9
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263
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New to the forum
(Preview)
I have attended Alanon for about 11 years but stop going about 5 months ago. It's been hard for me to go due to my schedule so I thought I would check out this forum. I currently live with an active high functioning alcoholic. My marriage is almost at an end. We are going to try counseling at my husbands req...
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lucymae
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14
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479
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Well my bubble got burst
(Preview)
So I had my lawyer appointment basically I have to be a cop to get anything changed. Now what?
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Truth
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19
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497
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Awesome prayer
(Preview)
I just read this prayer and would like to include all of us into its grace... Today I ask that the grace of healing flow in abundance to all humanity. This world shivers in turmoil and though I do not understand the power of grace or the influence of prayer, I need to believe that it matters when I pray for th...
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PP
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6
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202
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Just for Today
(Preview)
Just for today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime. I was reading about people talking slogans and how they are used way to much. It upset me some...
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Cathyinaz
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10
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420
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For Cathy and anyone who needs a warm fuzzy;)
(Preview)
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Raven Juniper
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7
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263
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Supporting a Fellow Al-Anoner Without Enabling
(Preview)
Sorry to use a counseling term in my subject line, but it is what it is. After a meeting a couple of weeks ago, a fellow member reached out to me and asked if she could give me a call. I said, "Of course." She called me a couple of days later. She is a divorced mom with two grown children (exAH and one...
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Green Eyes
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10
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509
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Being single, had another false start
(Preview)
I am open to the process of dating and so I went on a few dates with a new gentlemen and it was going really well. Then he let me know about his crazy past and that he had an STD that doesn't go away. I felt like I was still attracted to addicts with hearing his past and he was honest about liking to go to bars on th...
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Breakingfree
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9
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386
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Opinions wanted
(Preview)
I have been on this bord for years I have worked on me and have thought I had everything going well .... on my side anyway... my AH is functioning and I know nothing was gonna change with him cuz "he didnt have a prob" Well two DWI's later and $12000 to fight it all and still awaiting court for las...
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sweeetr
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12
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380
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What a night...
(Preview)
Had a terrible night last...after returning home from having coffee with a close friend my AH was home drunk and my son bought a case of beer and drank them all after being sober for close to 2 months. I realize the potential for him to slip was going to be a reality when he returned home from treatment and c...
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SB
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5
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370
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Family fun!!
(Preview)
Ah dear. Thursday, I went to stay at my mothers. I hadn't seen her since my super-fun trip away in January but all of our conversations since then have been..pleasant..sorta. For my part I ignore anything I perceive as a barb or a taunt and just steer the conversation on to happy things, and if she persi...
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Melly1248
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8
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406
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Sponsoring (balance)
(Preview)
This week I am working with my hp on removing some of my anxiety. It is around finding balance between "being there" for sponsees vs. having healthy boundaries/self care. I have had to learn and unlearn a lot of things about relationships while in the program. Sponsorship relationship...
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luv123
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2
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375
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Vulgar activities
(Preview)
I went searching for drama and found it. I went to a website where my AH posts crazy crap. I read a lot of his posts. They all hurt me really bad. He claims its satire. Keeps telling me how its annonymous. What i have written here about him is nothing compared to his lovely website. OMG. Vulgar language. Vul...
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Newlife girl
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11
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602
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New Member (not sure how this goes)
(Preview)
Hi there, i am new to this forum so I am not quite sure how this goes or what the etiquette is. Please forgive me if this is lengthy or not in proper form. I am 35 years old and the daughter of an alcoholic mother. She has drank my whole life, with a few extended stints of sobriety. My mother has always stumb...
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sissy0202
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6
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366
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To speak or to stay silent
(Preview)
I know you're drinking again. I accept that I have no control over that, and you make your own choices. I just want to remind you about that one night, what my boundaries are, and what is at stake. I truly hope you do not fall back into old habits. Just because I've forgiven you does not mean I have forgo...
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SpiderArcana
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8
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480
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Hearing 2
(Preview)
I had a good day. Met my X and his wife and we were the only family there. WOW. When my son finally came in he was in the usual orange suit shackled both hands and feet. He didn't see us because he came in looking at the judge. I started crying ...couldn't help myself but I was quite about it. His court a...
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Cathyinaz
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16
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343
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Did I do the right thing?
(Preview)
My best friend has a son who is a lot like my eldest son, with issues, bad behaviour, addiction issues, his is less to do with alcohol though. Anyway, he has befriended my youngest son who has no alcohol issues of his own but having been brought up in an alcoholic home and seeing the disease in his Father th...
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el-cee
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12
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478
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Rainy Days and Mondays
(Preview)
One of those days...I know it will pass...
It was a nice warm sunny afternoon and I washed a couple of loads of laundry and hung them out. I took my son to work, came home, and sat down to relax and watch a movie. I was so enthralled that I didn't hear the rain when it started again. The A, who had seen me hangi...
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Raven Juniper
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3
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226
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don't think he has COPD! It looks so good!
(Preview)
The results of the test came back. He doesn't seem to have COPD but has had asthma in the past & it might be that only. I am still in a place where I am just so grateful. I even took care of the insurance issue yesterday. The wait was long but it was worth it. I have been at a stalemate for about two weeks. I ju...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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250
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I guess I need a starting point AGAIN....young children involved
(Preview)
I was on this board several years ago and for some reason just stopped coming. At that point I was going to meetings once a week. A lot has happened since then and I find myself asking where do I start AGAIN? Aside from having an AH, I also now have a little guy who's 9 months old. My oldest is in college and my A...
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odalis
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6
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310
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wrap them in a blanket and give them to our higher power ..where in r books ?
(Preview)
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loveofladybug
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4
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322
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Guilty but not to the point of enabling..... just within me
(Preview)
I'm sitting here trying to figure out why but can't come to a good answer. I love to make all the fixings for Tacos, lay it out on the table and have at it. I make flour and corn tortilla shells and just pig out. My son loved to come over and do it with us. Last night I made the taco's but as I was eating I felt...
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Cathyinaz
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7
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487
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Even after years of Al-Anon, there's no perfection here. LOL
(Preview)
I'm having a rough day today. I have been an active Al-Anon member both here and in the f2f rooms for a long time, but this morning I felt like a total newcomer. I'm crabby, irritable, and critical of those around me. I feel like the ground is shifting under my feet and I don't know why. My AH has been sober fo...
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Jen
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6
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400
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New to Al anon...again
(Preview)
Hi all...reaching out for all the support I can get right now, I have been a member of al anon for years but have not been going to meetings for the last 5 years or so. In this time I have gained a new alcoholic/addict in my life, my son, I now live with 2 alcoholics my husband and my son. My son is 20 and just got o...
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SB
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3
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250
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Hi all..
(Preview)
I get on here daily and read. I have been working a lot and trying to stay at peace.. Update my son got a full time job.. No phone for him or car and he still has a roof over his head he sees his daughter twice a week as court ordered and is paying his child support and as of today he has 46 days clean. His hours are a...
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Gaby
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4
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193
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Lack of progress with intervention for AM...advice please!
(Preview)
We started the process of an intervention for my AM. My brother, dad and I all wrote letters, my sister has yet to finish her letter because she thinks my AM is still angry over a fight they had a few weeks ago.. That is maddening because I can't control my sister's actions...just like I can't control whet...
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phoenixmagicgirl
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4
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213
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I think I am really done
(Preview)
I need more. I deserve a good life, a partner whole loves me. I am sick and tired of being like this. I hope he has a good life. I need to start living mine again. I don't ever want to hear that snarling voice again. I want to get married and be happy. And every day I spend in this dysfunctional chaos is one more d...
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mm830
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7
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531
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STEP 3 POSTED TO STEP WORK BOARD
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57174490/alanon-step-3/
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hotrod
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1
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102
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What is it with him? Or what is it with me?
(Preview)
I have to leave, get out of here right now. The A decided to start working on the broke down jeep. Mind you it has sat there for 6 months, and in that time he's worked on it maybe ten times, to be generous. So he just pulled off a giant part of the engine block, and sat it on some milk crates in the back room. It loo...
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Raven Juniper
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4
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294
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As Popeye would say...
(Preview)
That's all I can stands, cause I can't stands no more!! Sorry if I mangled it, it's something to that effect. I wish Popeye could fix this, lol.. I have to let my A go. I realize it now, I realized it then, but I was so far up Denial.... Now I'm trying to figure how to go about it, get myself ready for the after...
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Raven Juniper
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8
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376
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Feeling Fantastic!
(Preview)
I am feeling so grateful, happy and full of joy today.
I am a little nervous about what I am taking a stand on but I know that is self-imposed anxiety. (I always wonder if I have prepared enough documentation)
My prayers and thoughts are with all of you I feel their will be great blessings on your jo...
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Truth
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3
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385
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How far is he going to go before he falls.....
(Preview)
I HAVE BEEN HOME ALONE FOR 4 DAYS NOW, WITH NO TRACE OF HIM COMING HOME. ALL HE DOE IS CALL THATS ALL. HE COMES UP WITH EVERY SINGLE EXCUSE THAT HE WILL BE HOME. THE LAST TIME I SAW HIM WAS ON MY BIRTHDAY MARCH 26 AND HAVEN NOT SEEN HIM SINCE. I KNOW THAT ME BEING ALONE IS BETTER THEN BEING WITH HIM, BUT I HAVE ...
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NavySealWife
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12
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542
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good news & sad news!
(Preview)
As a rule, I want to send out the good news first. My husband doesn't have COPD according to his symptoms & probably doesn't have it at all. I am so relieved. Anyhow, my week started out kind of crazy but now I am into acceptance-mode. I spent way too much time in deep concern & not handling situati...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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169
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Prayers again :)
(Preview)
I'm doing something I should have done months ago just lacked the ability to do so. I think I'm ready. It's going to have to be a God thing. It's either going to workout or it's not .. I am praying that it does workout. It would be the best ideal situation .. who knows though .. lol .. it just is what it is an...
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SerenityRUS
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7
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280
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My dad's behavior
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. So, I called my dad tonight to hang out. He was sober which he has been for awhile. He said sure but he has to leave around 9 to go visit 'some friends'. It immediately struck me as odd because anytime he's gone out he's always mentione...
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slogan_jim
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7
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377
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A few wee belters!
(Preview)
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el-cee
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9
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546
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Up's and Down's
(Preview)
This morning I went to my COPD study and blew my lungs out. I'm not liking this study but it is what it is. The money bought my groceries this week and that's a good thing. I'm at peace on one hand and upset on another. Getting a grip on what is happening to my son can really take you down if you let it. I fee...
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Cathyinaz
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9
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368
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What to do when you really, REALLY want to scream
(Preview)
Normally, when I want to scream, I'll do it. Scream come on out. But I'm having one of those days where an employee is making me completely bonkers (she's an alcoholic, so no surprise there.) I hear more and more news about her manipulating and doing stuff on the sly and I just want to SCREAM. But screamin...
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Aloha
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10
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559
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learning to love…. starting with me
(Preview)
in recovery while walking on this new path, I have to keep myself reminding 'this too shall pass', and 'if i keep on doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, that is my insanity'. Those two really help right now. I miss him, the good times we had, and I'm resisting the surge...
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tortuga
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4
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329
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Learning curve
(Preview)
I'm posting this in the hope that I and others might learn from my mistakes and because writing on the board here always helps me to gain some insight. The question that I'm struggling with now is why do I give so much more weight to what my AH thinks of me than I do to the voice of other people in my life? I mad...
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milkwood
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7
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377
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Mother's Intuition
(Preview)
So I trusted my gut today and reported the behaviors to the police for my son. They cannot tell me what is going on but say that my gut is 100% correct. I don't think he is using/drinking however there are highly illegal behaviors. They advised me that I should go back to my lawyer and ask for supervised vis...
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Truth
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12
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270
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Prayers
(Preview)
It has been a week is putting it mildly and I've had the opportunity to share some Alanon with some friends even. I am grateful for the experience. What I love so much about this program I can give it away and other people don't know I'm doing it. There is a lot of addiction issues and consequences from sa...
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SerenityRUS
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2
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159
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How Important Is It?
(Preview)
That was the topic of last nights meeting and I love that slogan and because of the simplicity forget it the easiest at times so it was a great reminder. This for me relates directly to my need to be right .. I have wondered if it's my need to be right .. or is it my need to be heard especially by others who are t...
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SerenityRUS
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1
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1549
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Obsessing again
(Preview)
It's a rough week for me due to having a crisis with needing helpers for my 90 yr old mom. So guess what I found myself doing this morning? Obsessing about my A. Like where the hell did that come from? I don't have enought stress already? I'm already having anxiety everyday. I'm getting the run arou...
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Lyne
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8
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169
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Today~What can I do with it?
(Preview)
I am going to study, workout, but besides the normal hum drum, I am going to laugh and enjoy this day. I was on the pity pot most the day yesterday and wasted precious moments. Today is a brand new day and I deserve to be happy and to feel healthy. I did my al-anon readings and am going to roll with God today...
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Breakingfree
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4
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215
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Thought I was doing good work but it takes so much longer than I ever imagined.
(Preview)
I have posted here some months back and I really haven't been back on the board unfortunately. The insights and thoughts I gained really helped me to see that my wife's addiction was her problem and that my co-dependency problems were mine. They were so helpful at that point in her recovery I am forever...
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skahtul
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9
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450
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If you didn't know...
(Preview)
If you didn't know how old you are, how old would you be? What age would you place yourself at? for me... a youthful spirit, a youthful brain, shared with a 55 yr old body... I would guess I'm about 30 yrs old. or a very immature 35 yr. old. My body tells the truth but my spirit and brain don't listen to it t...
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John
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10
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391
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Always Prayers...Always
(Preview)
Thats the very best I can do. Aloha Family...Thursday morning in Hilo. Woke up in conversation with my HP repeating "place me where you want me...tell me what to do" and then went to my business. My office is a garden and the biggest part of my work is to have it look like the best part of th...
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Jerry F
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9
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312
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