The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I met with my A son for lunch today. He is doing well right now with a temporary job and alcohol and drug free. He is making choices I wouldn't make, but he is 38 and must make his own choices. Our connections didn't work for today and after multiple cellphone missed calls and texts for reasons that will wear you out if I detail them, we finally met up with each other. I wasn't feeling well today due to a chronic disorder I have that had a flare-up. Usually, it is me who is calm and positive, but not today mainly due to me losing patience with the missed connections, the pain and the inconvenience of my physical issues. We finally were able to get to a restaurant where he ordered food and I complained aloud about my inability to take any chances eating with the abdominal distress I was experiencing. "Mom, I'm needing to be around positive people only. I'm not going to allow any negative people in my life. If you're going to continue to be negative today, I'm leaving." LOL! I loved it. My son was turning the tables on me and in spite of my pain, I felt joy.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 4th of April 2014 04:49:37 PM
Dear Catherine I'm so sorry to read that you were ill and unable to be your positive, supportive and nurturing self. Great news that your son is working and attempting to rebuild his life. He's a wise man to understand that surrounding yourself with positive people works.
I know this was a beautiful lesson that he learned from you. Please be gentle with yourself and rest.
I hope you feel better soon and don't let it interrupt your serenity much. In turn What your telling me is great. I will continue to pray your son will view his recovery the most thing in his life even if it includes getting mad at your..sorry but it is what it is. I would gladly let my son be mad me if it helped him live a better life.
Take care of you illness and be careful on what you eat for the tummy.
((( hugs )))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I'm glad you got to spend time with your son after all the to-ing and fro-ing. I understand what it's like basically not to be able to eat anything in a restaurant. I hope the flare up goes away again very soon.
-- Edited by ClearTheFog on Friday 4th of April 2014 08:32:51 PM
Hearing program come back at you from the alcoholic is stunning...cause for a smile...give him a hug and whisper in his ear "Yay!!" Good on you. ((((hugs))))
Thanks, all. Yes, his calm yet firm, "Mom! If you're going to continue to be negative, I'm going to leave," made me laugh just for the sheer joy of hearing some program tools come out of his mouth. He grinned when I laughed and I quit complaining. We scheduled another lunch date for next Friday. Hopefully, his Mom will be in much better physical shape than she was on Friday.
And for the parents who are concerned about your children, I want you to know he also showed up at my car bearing a bouquet of hydrangeas he had purchased for me and had lots of patience with my numerous stops at bathrooms along the way. This can change in the future, but Friday was a day when my son looked out for me much more than I could look out for him. He is still homeless although he is staying in local mission. His job is only part-time. He had to take a bus to a Laundromat to wash his clothes before I could pick him up (or tried to pick him up) at our agreed upon location. So, not helping can result in a change in our loved ones - so much so, they actually show some care and respect for us even when their own lives are still very difficult. Knowing he had a job, I didn't make a move for the check either. I wanted to let him experience paying for something out of his own earned income for me rather than the other way around. It was only a day of turnaround, but I'll take that day over years of how things have been for him.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Saturday 5th of April 2014 09:05:30 AM
-- Edited by grateful2be on Saturday 5th of April 2014 09:21:08 AM
I was thinking about her too last night. Went to the other boards looking for Rose.
HI ROSE!!!!
Hey Cathy, I think of you too...I do stop by to check up on you and my other good mates who have helped me very much in my journey.....i am working a great book on inner child healing....and reparenting myself......other than that, busy with income taxes....hope you are doing good and doing stuff for you
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
love it!