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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> He keeps leaving messages
Post Info TOPIC: He keeps leaving messages
Truth


~*Service Worker*~

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He keeps leaving messages
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Gosh... My ex-A has left four messages (asked him not to call) and I am just not interested in even trying to co-parent. I have not returned one call, text or e-mail. I use to feel guilty about that. Under normal circumstances, (if the person was nice I would return the call) Progress?

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Truth


~*Service Worker*~

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I realize even the co-parenting is destructive and toxic. It has been the best four weeks

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Debilyn


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As long as you feel your little one is safe, it may be better to put him in HPs hands when he is with the ex AH. That is great you are not allowing the A to harass you or get you riled up.

I hope your child is ok. I know you are doing the best you can. It is a very hard situation.

hugs! debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

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Truth


~*Service Worker*~

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My son has not seen him either. He has been gone for four weeks so yes he has been safe.

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KennyFenderjazz


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I would say that sticking to your guns is progress. Guilt feelings or not, it's the action that marks the progress, and you are doing it. Great job!

Kenny

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grateful2be


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On the subject of guilt - for some odd reason, I felt that I owed my x my active engagement with him. When I didn't engage, I felt guilty. One day, the skies of understanding opened up and I realized I owed no one anything and only had to remember to my "own self be true." Guilt was replaced with integrity.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
SerenityRUS


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I made a decision not to engage and then I kept the messages. I'm grateful I did that .. it helped in my divorce case. Especially with mediation .. he's not ok. I've had a very weird turn of events. What grateful said about feeling the need to engage .. I find myself asking not because I want him to say yes .. because I'm suppose to ask if he wants to stay for dinner. I'm suppose to ask if he wants to come to church. I'm suppose to ask .. fill in the blank. It's a weird feeling to say the least. I'm really not engaging a lot .. I just feel like because he's doing x and y I'm suppose to fill in z. At least I can see his behavior and mine as it is and not as I want it to be. I am listening with my eyes and I am not blowing off yellow Orange or red flags and that's a good thing. I will be very glad the move will be over soon. I'm not good at it and it is throwing me a bit. Hugs

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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
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