Sorry for all you animal lovers but I feel like I am beating a dead horse w/ all the comments I have been making. I seem to be staying on a subject that I should have dropped a long time ago. I was supposed to speak at our Alano Club on Sunday. I am feeling a bit guilty that I changed my mind & that there is not another person to take my place yet. I have been feeling like if I did speak other than at a regular meeting, I would have an attack of mania. I am afraid of my own emotions. I have a lot to say but I don't know how to say what I need to say w/o divulging too much information. I don't know if I will ever be able to speak at a podium ever because of FEAR! What really gets me is that it was planned too far in advance. Boy, do I feel like a complainer today. Yesterday I felt lost. Today I feel like I am still going under a bit because of the guilt I still feel. I prayed for the wisdom to know if doing that was the right thing to do. I got some confirmation when I had a very interesting day a couple of weeks ago. I have to let the stress of life go. How many times have I got on here w/ a ramble that almost didn't make any sense? I am just grateful that some days I do make sense.

I waver from feeling on top of the world to barely staying above water. At least I can say that the Program works if I work it. Staying on task is part of the process. Commitment is part of living. I will let all the crap go & start this day over.

Thank you for listening & sharing!

Kathleen