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No longer with AH but still suffering
(Preview)
I wanted to share my story for some thoughts and experiences you all went through. I am no longer living with my AH and we are divorced a year ago...I know i dont want to get back to him and our marriage has made me discover so many deffects of character which i need to work on to be a healthier and happier pers...
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koukou
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8
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973
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Happy 4th of July!
(Preview)
(((((Family))))), A quick HAPPY 4th of JULY to all! Have a wonderful weekend. Celebrate the meaning of this day. I am so proud to be an American. To my military families thank you for doing what you do. Come home safe and sound to us. I am off to work for the entire weekend, but that's okay. I have lot...
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Karilynn
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0
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291
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Thanks To All That Travel Along Side......
(Preview)
I appreciate every response to my question. There is a lot of love and wisdom here.
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DreamsOver
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2
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649
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Program working...
(Preview)
I tend to focus on the struggles I have and post to seek the invaluable support and ESH offered here. A situation occurred the other day and I wanted to share how it helped me to realize that the tools I am gaining spread to my Non-A interactions as well. The other night I ordered a pizza for pick up. It was...
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Rora
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6
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732
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Changing the things I can
(Preview)
The time has come for me to make some changes. A few days of peace and quiet every few weeks is not enough for me to heal. Being in the same house the majority of the time simply takes its toll on me when my AH is drinking. I can detach most of the time, but sometimes the insanity just leaks in and takes hold....
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blender_girl
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5
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1070
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My 1 year Alanon Anniversary
(Preview)
Hello and Hugs,This month makes one year since HP guided me to MIP. That is my #1 on my gratitude list today. Even though the last year has been a tough one, it has been one of the best ones. As many newbies do, I came here hopeless and desperate of learning how to deal with the alcoholic in my life. Wha...
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Sincerely
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6
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928
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Met with lawyer today
(Preview)
Hi MIP family. Thought I would just keep you abreast of my situation and hold myself accountable at the same time. I met with the lawyer today and had all the information that I needed for him to file an uncontested divorce, except husband's address (which I have and forgot to bring) and social security...
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Overcome
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6
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428
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Having Computer Problems
(Preview)
I am having trouble loading the chat room, because my computer says that my adobe reader is damaged and can't be fixed. I guess that somehow effects my Java from running and now I can't get into chat. I am going to take my computer to the "fix-it" guy, since I know nothing about computers and am...
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Overcome
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6
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602
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To change or not to change...
(Preview)
For some years now I have this friend who over and over and over again tells me that the one thing holding me back is the fact that I hold on to my married name. She goes as far as to tell me that all the powers on earth are working against me in that name. She tells me that until I relinquish this name I will alw...
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Suzannah
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8
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519
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Old habits die hard
(Preview)
I spent yesterday evening with a guy who I like well enough but not LIKE like, as we used to say. Fun. Not much too it. I don't particularly even care what he thinks of me. And yet here I am obsessing about what I should have said differently or not said or... or... or... LOL I swear, my brain does this on auto...
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gngcrzy
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1
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471
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Husband in recovery....worse than ever
(Preview)
I don't know where to begin and I am almost to tired to think. I have not talked to him in almost 2 days. He is 3 weeks sober and seemingly doing great. But it also seems that i no longer have a place in his life now that he has found AA. He has checked himself in to a 12-step halfway house type place right dow...
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crispin777
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13
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497
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New here and so sad
(Preview)
Hy husband is an alcoholic. He has tried AA and claims it doesn't work for him. Makes him feel like drinking more. He has tried to quit for about 5 years now. His older brother died of alcoholism and he says he's doomed to be just like him. The past 2 weeks he has gotten drunk every night - very drunk. I miss h...
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smy922000
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11
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570
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never been on a rollercoaster like this one!
(Preview)
I suppose it's normal to feel like you are on one, right? One day good, the next bad, then good and so on. No wonder we all feel like we are going crazy!! I thank God for this place. I think I have found, for me, what is going to keep me focused on me and my kids. Everytime I take the plunge and start to organize th...
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beacheemom
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9
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638
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my first f2f
(Preview)
I went to my first face to face meeting!!!!!!!!!! it took me a long time to get there but i did it and now i am looking forward to going back...i guess i thought if he would just quit drinking everything would be fine. he is now 2 years sober and I am certainly not fine....but i am ready to work on myself for a...
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lam0204
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3
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732
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Back on here
(Preview)
I haven't posted in such a long time. But, I'm glad to be back on here. I will be updating and look foreword to talking to everyone. I missed you all! I hope everyone is doing ok. Christina
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christinajeanne
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3
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366
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Discovery and Choices
(Preview)
I woke up last night with a pit in my stomach. That has been happening to me a lot lately. But, instead of fretting about it I just spent time with God and went back to sleep. I felt a sense of peace come over me. Then yesterday as I was going to pick up my lunch I decided to go into a local bookstore. I ran into a fr...
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christinajeanne
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2
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299
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Courage to Change
(Preview)
****Sooo for me today this was a tough one... I went to the mail and got out my Test Results I have been dreading... For good reason... So Choles. was Up to 216... WOW... BAD Very BAD... BUT... On a good note, My Tryglycerides that at one time was up over 880... was down to 120.. Not Great But ALOT BETTER... S...
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Jozie
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3
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514
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Testing.....Testing....Testing.....
(Preview)
Just checking to see if I can post yet! I can put things on the whiteboard. We'll see.
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Karilynn
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2
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451
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A warm and sincere Mahalo
(Preview)
Aloha MIP Family...I am grateful that when I had to fall back on others for support you all were there!! It was 3+ hours before my spouse made it home and absolutely nothing I would have planned or expected or feared about came about. Every time I went to put my crown on along with my sword and shield I end...
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Jerry F
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11
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548
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How bad can it get?
(Preview)
Okay flights been delayed over 3 hours..... Instead to reacting I decided to come back here and hold myself still and read some more. How bad can it get? Actually after reading some of the post...this isn't even a knee jerk. Gratefully. (((((hugs)))))
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Jerry F
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9
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849
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I'll do it different this time...
(Preview)
The spouse is returning this afternoon from her annual family trip to the mainland. She called yesterday to tell me what time she would be at the Hilo Airport so that I could be there to pick her up suggesting that If I were to leave the house 10 minutes before she landed I could get there just after she got...
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Jerry F
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8
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539
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Should I make a call?
(Preview)
I feel like one of my husband's friends has been a terrible influence on him. Drinking and smoking pot all the time. And getting ahold of and bringing over other types of drugs that my husband never would have sought out on his own. There is a festival coming up this weekend. Previously I had gone with...
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Eve55
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9
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510
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At the beginning, yet at the end
(Preview)
Hi all,I'm glad to have found this community to share and learn and I'm looking forward to meeting all of you. Where to begin...I'm 26 and I've been in a relationship with an alcoholic for two years now. The first year I didn't really notice the effects on him, or I just didn't take them too seriously. How...
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JBee
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8
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530
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very keyed up and angry
(Preview)
argh... people have been posting about this issue (their ABF or AH or AGF or AW in early recovery and acting like a horrible mess - and then slipping and then being awful again...) and i really don't want to rehash it but i kinda want to just vent. i'm going away for 5 days after work tomorrow. AH said he was...
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xter
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10
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471
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Hard to believe it.......I still can't believe it........ESH for those trying to Detach
(Preview)
Those of you who have followed my story/struggle/recovery the past 7 mths know where I came from and how miserably impossible it was for me to Detach... It will be two weeks this Thursday and for me that is a miracle and a blessing! There has been absolutely NC. ESABF dropped my stuff off last week and s...
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shellyj123
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8
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540
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Clarity of thinking after funeral
(Preview)
Dear All, went to funeral this evening, it was a quiet one, I guess alcoholics are only drawing a crowd when they are paying for drinks or providing the entertainment, I did not see many of the publicans who would have gained financially from this woman's death there, but hold it, its not to say they were...
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maire rua
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2
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430
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Overcoming procrastination.
(Preview)
I am on a roll in terms of decluttering and have some major projects to do. I need to get them done shortly as my life is going in many different directions now. I need to step up and take care of this. I am posting this so I have to make a update on the issue regularly. There is always something that gets in t...
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maresie
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6
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427
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Recommendation book Beautiful Boy.
(Preview)
I have just finished reading Beautiful Boy by David Scheff. The author and his son were on Oprah which is one reason I read the book. I think this is a great book if you are in early al anon. The author is a great writer and talks earnestly and passionately about the pain and anxiety of being involved with...
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maresie
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3
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2615
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A LITTLE BORED...BUT OK
(Preview)
I am finding myself to be a little bored lately. I try to keep busy but seem to still be bored. I am doing better this time of my life. I am getting along pretty well with my husband & somewhat better with my mom. Sometimes I just want to go to meetings again like I mentioned before without my mom there. O...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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357
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Free At Last
(Preview)
I just worked my 1st step "again" with my new sponsor. The first time, my A boyfriend was still active. Since he went into recovery and in a 1/2 house, I found myself wanting to take control and force solutions again especially after he broke off our 7 year relationship. What working th...
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Pfunk
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5
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542
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Trying So Hard.....
(Preview)
to hold on. My AS drives a very old beat up truck his father and I gave him several years ago, I had a very little hope (but some hope) at that time that he would take a job, but that hope has faded with his continuing drug use. The old truck is now dying, he called me yesterday in a fit saying he was going to run...
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DreamsOver
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4
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496
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how to focus on myself under my circumstances
(Preview)
As I am learning the ways of Al Anon, and digging deeper into the program, I am coming up with more questions I have. I know that I am supposed to focus more on me and stop the focusing on my AH. I didn't realize how hard this one would be for me. I don't want to sound like I am making excuses, I am just not sure how...
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beacheemom
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7
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511
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What am I not understanding?? in tears....
(Preview)
Please clarify something for me. My aoca h is attending al anon. I am too, different group. His take on looking after him seems to be playing out as shutting me out. completely. He does not even talk to me, unless our kids are around. In fact, he seems to be 2 completely different people, totally depen...
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heatherranki
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6
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518
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death from alcoholism
(Preview)
Dear all, am a bit upset today, a lady I know died yesterday evening from chronic alcoholism, leaving her fourteen year old daughter behind. She was my age, 44, and I liked her though she was a messy drunk, she had good qualities but was afflicted with the disease, I am going to part of the funeral and I kno...
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maire rua
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7
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487
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My friends keep relapsing...Is this worth it?
(Preview)
Im in an "emotional growth program" for young adults with five students. It used to be six, but a close friend of mine relapsed and behaved in a way that got her kicked out. Im the only person here currently who doesn't struggle with addiction. For a lot of people, this is an after care afte...
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waddleton
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4
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452
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My issues
(Preview)
I can see the red flags with guy I have been posting about. I can see all that, but what bothers me is he feeling of rejection I get after I have embarrassed myself by texting him over and over pretending I was stranded- well sort of pretending. While I know alcohol played a part in my persistence it was mo...
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Codependent
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1
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311
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A quick hello and an invitation.
(Preview)
Hello my alanon family, just wanted to do a lil catch up as I have been MIA (lol that's my dog's name) from the board and rooms for a bit. I find myself stuggling to keep up with the work building up, home life, and trying to keep the focus on me. The day-to-day drama of living with addiciton and working on cha...
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Mandy123
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1
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457
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july 4th weekend is already making nervous- couple of ?'s
(Preview)
Well, I said in my last reply I was going to bed, but I really need to get this off of my chest. I think it's the reason that today just wasn't a moving forward kind of day. My AH has a friend that has a house on a lake about 1 hour away from our home. This friend is truly a good man. I know my AH will want me and our gir...
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beacheemom
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10
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369
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programme slip
(Preview)
Hi all, I am feeling a bit ashamed. My AB has been sober for 2 months and is doing really well attending meetings, keeping in contact etc. I on the other hand am becoming very resentful after everything I have been through still feel very alone. As he gets better and better he seems to be out all the time...
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Tracy
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5
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557
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{sigh} Expectations...
(Preview)
I didn't see this one coming. Some of you may have seen my earlier post. I was excited I made my first friend at al-anon and we were invited over for a cookout. It was seriously our first "dry" social event. We have three small children. My friend called and asked if it was ok to invite ano...
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Inpain
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5
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498
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Addictions Hold...
(Preview)
The Biggest Liar was my own Addiction We have lived with dishonesty- in others and in ourselves. Many of us had to learn to cope with the ovcious lies accompanying our parents' dysfunction or the enabling of that dysfunction. One of the ways we coped was to convince ourselves that our perceptions were...
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Jozie
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1
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440
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Needing Experience, Strengh and Hope
(Preview)
Hello, I'm new to the board but have been in and out of alanon for about 15 years only taking and seriously working my program for the last year. I have been doing great, loving my program, growing within myself and rebuilding a relationship with my recovering AA boyfriend of 7 years. My A lives in a 1/2...
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Pfunk
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4
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811
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Boy did I loose it!
(Preview)
((((Family)))), Here I am my weekend off. I am sicker than a dog. and I'm trying to get better so that I can go to my niece's graduation today. I talked to both my sister and niece yesterday and said that I would most likely be at the graduation. However I wasn't sure if I could make it out to dinner. My s...
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Karilynn
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8
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434
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Dating
(Preview)
I hope I am not boring you all posting about my dating life, but it makes me feel better to get it out there and get feedback from you guys. After the text apology I sent a text on Thursday just casual and he responded. We didn't talk on Friday. But, Saturday I really wanted to see him. Was going out with...
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Codependent
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4
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411
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Naranon chatrooms??
(Preview)
Hi friends, my hub jsut got out of jail (15 months) and 2 months rehab for multiple dui's. He came outta jail with a new addiction..Hydro morphine, he snorts it..so i'm trying to find a room to talk to ppl that can relate to my situation..thanks xo Serenity62..not lol
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serenity62
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3
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4420
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Need help Please!!!!
(Preview)
(((((((Everyone)))))))) I'm in need of some ES&H please. I am totally overwhelmed with stress. It seems that things keep piling up on me. I try to deal with one thing at a time but when one issue is resolved then 2 more roll in. I try to reach out to others that are close to me they appear to be disappoin...
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shadow1
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7
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567
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summer weekend festivals- yuck
(Preview)
I am back living in the American Midwest and in the summer there are always these weekend "fests" which are completely soaked in alcohol. Having not lived with this for awhile, I had forgotten how gross it is. I went to one last weekend and it all came back to me- totally smashed people all le...
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Jean4444
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3
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312
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my STEP 3 on RE-parenting me
(Preview)
ASSIGNMENT__________ STEP 3---Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him Self parenting step 3---Learn to let go of the compulsive self reliance by reaching out to our Higher Parent as we understand it ########Rosie's take "compulsive self relia...
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rosielightshines
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2
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547
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what can i do?
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I have just found this board, or maybe it found me!!! I am so so desperate for some advice. My wife is 5 months pregnant, and she won't stop drinking... What the hell do i do??? From day one, i know she has made no secret that she will have a drink "every now and then". But, on Sunday,...
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ajay147
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7
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841
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June Business Meeting Minutes
(Preview)
June Business meeting Minutes Meeting was held June 7, 2009 Meeting opened with the serenity prayer Motion to accept May Business Meeting Minutes as posted on the Board - Voted on and accepted Chair meeting schedule was posted and revisedCurrent Chair Schedule is:AMMon Shimo/no altTues -Aun...
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ernie
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0
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429
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Delusional husband plays games.
(Preview)
Some of you will remember my "checking for ticks" post, others might even remember my "I've had enough" post, under my old nick of Java, concerning my dry drunk husband. My most recent post was a decision I made to go back into the relationship entitled "doing the same thin...
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Overcome
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6
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522
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thanks
(Preview)
Thanks to all who replied to my post. happy that people bothered to reply. My husband is in rehab. Visited him each day this week and it was very nice and CALM!I was seeing some hope for a future, probably naively? Yesteray and today he was allowed home for a few hours and all we did was fight...over stupid...
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Grace11
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3
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513
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The REAL gift my AH gave me today...
(Preview)
for those of you that have read my posts know that one of the hardest things I was/am trying to overcome is my AH lack of motivation when it comes to our home. I had alot of anger and bitterness about this issue. Well, he texted me today and let me know that he bought a weed eater for our yard. This must sound s...
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beacheemom
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5
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866
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I've been offered an interview for a new job
(Preview)
So after my last post of presenting an emplyment contract and my seeing the audit to fruition, that went totally out the window. My ex-bf wouldn't sign anything and I stood my ground and walked out. The audit was today and he had to handle it by himself. I don't know the details of the results, only what he...
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redfred
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5
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570
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FYI - Some of the legalities of my situation with my ex-bf
(Preview)
First of all, THANK YOU to everyone who has taken the time to follow my little soap opera on this message board and share some of your wisdom with me. So much is happening and it's happening so fast the I have only been able (emotionally and time wise) to post the most critical information for what's happe...
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redfred
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5
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430
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Just For Today...report
(Preview)
I did not do all the things on my "to do" list and Just for that day, I didn't worry about it, I just did "the next right thing" One of the things that I added to my 'to do' list was taking my mom to another Assisted Living Facility (this makes the second one we've visited). She really li...
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Overcome
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3
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372
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Need some love tonight...
(Preview)
Even though I know I am working hard, I am changing the things I can and I am accepting the things I cannot, today has been a really hard day. Physically pain is not helping from when my legs collapsed from under me late Monday night and I knocked myself out on my kitchen floor. The fact that I buried a dear d...
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Suzannah
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14
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951
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At a loss
(Preview)
I have no idea what to do or where to go. I dated a recovering alcoholic for four years. Then around four years ago he was no longer recovering as he started drinking again. In a weird way it was sort of nice in the beginning because he was so relaxed with a few drinks. He had always found it difficult to relax...
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Grace11
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7
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837
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Progress
(Preview)
I just got a call from a boiler room operation. A young woman wanted to talk to me about my credit card ending in XXXX. Credit card ending in XXXX has been cancelled, because some scam artists got hold of it and were charging little $2 and $4 items to my account. The card company alerted me--said they d...
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Temple
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3
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595
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Doing it Right
(Preview)
I'm not sure if anyone can relate to what I've been feeling for the past few days but, I have this sense of anxiety at times about 'working the program' right. I often wonder if my sponsor choice was right - I am being guided in a wonderful way. Am I working the steps the way I should? Am I in denial about somet...
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RunnerChick
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4
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670
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