Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Overcome · Overcome

Sponsorship was a topic for tonight's meeting and since no one shared on it, I thought I would post a topic on it. I have been doing a lot of reading in the ODAAT in Al-Anon and Courage to Change, mediation books on this topic. It is a very important one and one that shouldn't be taken lightly if you are asked...

ajay147 · ajay147

I can't think straight anymore. My head hurts! What are my choices? Me and my wife (an A in denial), are about to break up. She hasn't really spoken to me in 10 days now. Since she found out that I told our doctor that she's still drinking, even at almost 6 months pregnant. This is my problem: We have two kids...

sad4life · sad4life

I have posted before but under a different name, which I can't remember. Today I am distraught, as I was yesterday, last week, last year, two years ago. I have been 'hanging on' to a dry drunk who left my family, (we have a 5 year old son together) and moved countries. For the last 2 years I have wanted to b...

imasharm · imasharm

OK, this is new to me. I really don't know if my husband is an alcoholic. I know he drinks everyday and is so obnoxious i can't stand him when he is drinking. His drinking doesn't affect his work, he doesn't drink in the morning or anything like that. It is the same routine everyday. After work he stops for a...

kristielaine · kristielaine

Just as I thought I feel better, I'm back to being sad. I'm getting sick of myself at this point

Joanie · Joanie

Hi there- Im new to all of this so am getting my feet wet- glad to have found this board. My husband wants to save our family and get his drinking under control but it is a bumpy road and he has been in therapy about 6 weeks. We have a LOT of underlying stress (child with cancer) that has caused him to progre...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hello family, I made a boo-boo. In my post yesterday I said that it was page 174 in C2C, actually it is 74. That's what I get for quoting a page from a book when the book was home and I was not :) Yours in recovery, Mandy

Mariner · Mariner

Dear (((All))) My name is Carol and I'm codependant I was reading an earlier post by Tracy and was prompted to post the following 'check list' for codependancy. When I first read this list it was with great amazement. I could put a tick next to every statement I thought THATS ME! All of it applied to...

kristielaine · kristielaine

Thanks everyone. Slowly I'm starting see the light. I had a chat with a board member on the AA board, and started talking about how on our birthdays, this month he wanted to get a hotel room. well he wanted to invite this guy that I don't like, who is an alcoholic, and his friends girlfriend, and I remember...

kristielaine · kristielaine

Can you help me think my way through this please, because this is what keeps me lingering on this entire issue with my EAB because of the way he left it. This is what transpired the week leading to our breakup. That Tuesday before our breakup, he and his mother had some sort of big argument where she confir...

Inpain · Inpain

In my honest opinion, it's far easier said than done. For 8 months I've struggled with that. I might have a difference of opinion here to on the interpretation of "letting go" - but for me, it means letting go of HIS actions. The consequences to his actions are MY responsibility. For exam...

david62 · david62

Hi ((((Family)))) I just had a moment I have to tell about. I spent most of the day today in San Antonio playing. I had a great time and was pulling back into my hometown about 9 o'clock. I am tired, but was trying to decide if I wanted to pull into the video store near my house to rent a movie to "watch&...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all,I saw once again how working your program can really scare your A and just had to share. My addict husband went over to the neighbors Sunday night and came back and said he was going to walk up the little convenience store and buy the neighbor a beer for his birthday. I said ok and went about my busine...

Aloha · Aloha

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/fashion/02love.html

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Long after reading ODAT and C2C today, I realized that I had read the wrong date. Apparently, the error occurred yesterday when I skipped August 3 and went right to August 4. This may seem like a minor problem to most, but for me, it has me confused. Should I read August 3's reading tomorrow and then be...

malady · malady

My husband has been inactive for only 18 days for the first time in 35 years. I have only known him 10 years and during this time he has never gone any longer than 3 days without drinking. I realize now that the withdrawl symptoms were too much for him to bare so he went right back to it. He finally admitted h...

FlyingSquirrel · FlyingSquirrel

Is there NOTHING I can do? We've been separated for almost 11 months now but still communicate daily and see each other once or twice a week. I am now 5 and a half months sober. She knows she has a problem but is prejudiced against A.A. because she thinks she already knows everything about it (her dad is a...

beacheemom · beacheemom

When an A stops drinking, are they able to express their love for you better, or does that get worse? He thinks he is, even though I've expressed to him what I need from him, things dont change. You all know the dilemma on our sleeping situation, I've made several posts lately, and he emailed me and said it...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I remember the first time I read that I thought WOW! How can so few words hold soooo much insight. I remember coming here and being told if I didn't like the way I was feeling to try doing the opposite of what I had been doing and again thought WOW....pretty insightful. Today I am at a wall.......and I eithe...

katiecat · katiecat

Same old scenario with me and my sister. She gets drunk and I get worried and want to take care of her. She has two addictions alcohol and gambling. I don't even know how she's going to pay her rent. Oh and yes I had to drive over there(45 minutes) to see if she was alright and take her to lunch so that she...

debilyn · debilyn

I got up at five thirty, drove all the way there with no pain pills. Was all in a dress, did everything I could to my girl body to look ok. Everyone has to fill out an app. to visit someone in prison. Mine should have been done. Guess what, they screwed up. Typical eh? Administration is a joke. So I waited as th...

kristielaine · kristielaine

I text him and said "I hope to God that you are getting help - spare me with a violent response - goodbye". Now I feel bad and set myself up for the fact that he won't respond. I guess I'm just angry because everyone got to say what they needed to say but me. He said his peace, my family said what they...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

I have made peace--sorta--with everything I'm gonna tell you. Right now I'm still processing through the feelings. But I'm alive, sober, living in the solution, and it's all b/c of y'all. After I lost the job in KS, there was 1 more interview I had: Baylor University, Waco, TX. After a 10 minute interv...

HG · HG

After 15 years together, my A and I have separated. His drinking didn't become a problem until the last 4 years, during which time he's logged a total of 120 days inpatient treatment (28 days program, then later, a 90-day transitional living program). He also went to 3 different outpatient treatme...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I'm grieving. One of our local 15 year old female died of apparent alcohol poisoning. I wanna scream and throw a tantrum!!!! I'll end up outside doing a chant to HP. HP knows. HP hears me. I don't need further proof. This is a grievable offense and so that is what happens with me. I've worked with t...

Jozie · Jozie

Welperz... Yesterday was the start of my Son's Practice for Soccer, and My SIL & I desided to make a go of it, and while they practiced we would "Walk" for a Healthier US... She too is in Al-anon Program... Well honestly I looked forward to it all day... We walked to her Aunts to find out wh...

Overcome · Overcome

Well it's 11:40 p.m. I guess it's still officially August 3, so I can share on what the C2C reading on Aug. 3th meant to me. I must start with the beginning sentence, "There was a time in my life when I furiously insisted that alcoholism did not exist in my family." I remember being at a Thanksgi...

ESH · ESH

A-bf has been in hospital x 4 weeks now... 2-weeks in ICU and 2-weeks on a floor. He had had so much alcohol and pain-killers in his body that his liver and kidneys shut down. He then went into heart failure; had pneumonia and 2 other infections. Has needed transfusions and dialysis. He is still very w...

Inpain · Inpain

No really. I've been recognizing when and how my life has been controlled and how I control. My AH-sober-dry drunk (not b/c he wants to but because he wants to stay with his family) decided after watching a reality show on baking cakes, that he wanted to bake one. I had to secrety laugh to myself but to...

newbelief · newbelief

Hi everyone, I don't really ever post on the board but that doesn't mean I don't work my program, I am often in online meetings, f2f, and do my daily readings, but have a really hard time sharing sometimes. Well, right now I really need some support, as I just came back from a week long business trip to Cal...

kristielaine · kristielaine

I want to call him so bad, I want him to know how much he hurt me, but I want to know he's not angry with me. What is wrong with me!! I'm shaking, crying, my stomach hurts. There is absolutely nothing positive to go back to him for but I need to hear his voice :(

Cashey100 · Cashey100

Hi... I posted earlier that I got blasted from my folks for losing my wallet. I appreciated all your support! Those of you who said that I shouldn't be giving my parents stuff to worry about-- you're right. I will try to stick to this and watch my speech around them. The way it goes is that anything tha...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

To update everyone, the new friend "M" of the EXABF emailed me today to let me know pretty much that she emailed EXABF last night and told him that she was sorry but wasn't ready to start dating right now and her daughters didn't want her too, and that there was to much drama in his life that she d...

Overcome · Overcome

In todays ODAAT in Al-Anon reading, August 1, it talks about how sometimes we think that by running away from our problems that all could be solved. I know I have tried this approach myself and can attest to the fact that it does not work. When I first married at 19 to an active drinker, I had no idea what alc...

beacheemom · beacheemom

hi all, confused on alot of things right now. Maybe someone has some answers for me as to what is going on with me. I know this is long (most of mine are -lol) a few nights ago, AH came to bed with me for two nights and it was wonderful- yes, he was still drinking, but there was intimacy, a feeling of closeness w...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I hope this is ok to write on here because it helps you focus on yourself. I read this book 20 wishes by Debbie Macomber it was so good. After reading it I started my list. Its making me so happy and i"m doing the things I want and taking time for my self. I have not thought about doing things I want to d...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Old African Proverb: "Advise and counsel him. If he does not listen, Let adversity teach him." Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty -- Edited by Karilynn on Monday 3rd of August 2009 10:45:19 AM -- Edited by Karilynn on Monday 3rd of August 2009 10:47:39 AM

Jozie · Jozie

Been working out some much needed things in my mind & heart these last couple weeks. Haven't been here quite as much as usual, however I know that If I don't get "ME" back on track, I am going to stay "STUCK" and I don't want that... My boy turned 12 yesterday, and after spending...

glad · glad

My sponsor keeps telling me I need to love my A for who he is and accept him as he is. When I ask my boyfriend what it meant that he bought me a $1, 200 gift (that represents alot of money to us) even though he had just said he "wasn't so sure about us", he acts offended and he said" I'm not gonn...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Choices Such a small word but such a life changer. My AH-sober is struggling right now with not being happy in his job.Tonite when we were watching tv he said " I hate my job".This is due to a change in his job that was not of his doing.He has gone from being ok with it to hating it to being ok with it...

kristielaine · kristielaine

I know this is my first weekend without him. But last night I had a hard time, it was like I was going through withdrawals or something, and I wasn't the one who drank. I couldn't sleep, I was hurting all over and shaking. I haven't heard from him and I'm not calling or contacting him, even though the pit of...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((Family))), At what age is it appropriate to tell a child about a parent's addiction? Here's what's going on. Yesterday my older niece "Laura" called me to tell me her Dad stole her car while she was with her Mom & younger sister "Lisa" white water rafting. When she call...

Tracy · Tracy

My ABF has been sober for 3months and is doing well atending meetings has a sponsor so on. He is working now and paying me some money towards the bills. However I am finding I am becoming resentful. I earn more money than him and we have a nice standard of living. His money he contributes isnt even enog...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well after adding the EXABF's new "freind" to MY page, I got to feeling guily and decided to fess up to her. (of course Trish ya had to be on my shoulder didn't ya???) I basically told her that my ex was on her page also, and if that was an issue for her that I understood if she wanted to delete me-...

Maine Girl · Maine Girl

As challenging as it was to try to re-integrate with my husband after exiting rehab last week was - it was a walk in the park compared to dealing with the fact that he had an affair with a suicidal alcoholic while there. I found out Monday night and confronted him - I informed her husband and she confirmed...

kristielaine · kristielaine

Hello everyone, my name is Kristi. This is my first time posting on the board. I am just three days out of a relationship with an abusive man who suffers with alcoholism, and right now I'm having a hard time because despite of all the abuse, I miss him. I've been told that's normal, but I don't want to go bac...

Overcome · Overcome

Here it is the last day of July! As I read in ODAAT in Al-Anon for July 31, it suggests that we look back over the month to see what progress we have made in our program and what changes have taken place in our life. I wonder if this is like doing a 10th step or an al-anon group doing an inventory conscience? We...

debilyn · debilyn

Has anyone visited a loved one in prison? Would appreciate your thoughts and esh. For one, I do not do well out of control. Being inside is hard for me. I will not go in a skyscraper. Being locked in, bothers me. I read they search you. So all I am bringing in is me, and my keys. I guess I have to take my piercing...

maresie · maresie

Part of detaching for me is the joy of having manageable achievable goals rather than struggling and feeling I am not achieving much. I could of course be really down as I still live around very dsyfunctional people (detaching really helps there) there is little work to be hard where I am and I am worki...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I wrote yesterday about the peace I felt when I went on vacation. I want to feel this peace all the time in my life. I did not stick to my boundries again. I said he was to leave on July 31. I gave him a month and I did remind him about that date. It came a went, he started to say I could not afford the bill staying in...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Woke up today and made my mind up that I am done being crazy:)! I simply can not spend another day of my life allowing myself to get sucked into other people's insanity and chasing it around on my own when that doesn't happen. Yesterday I went so far as to check EXABF's page again-my thought process was &q...

kristielaine · kristielaine

I attended my first Al-Anon meeting today and I must say it felt good to know all the crap my ex told me was typical comments. When it came time to share, I cried like a baby explaining what happened and that I was just four days out of this relationship. I still miss his, but its going to get better :(

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

He would prefer to be miserable. I don't know why I never saw it before, why I just realized it now...in the middle of a talk about where things went wrong. I clearly remember him choosing to be unhappy-about everything! I would run myself ragged trying to make things right for him and they never were. He...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello and Hugs My MIP Family, I'd like to start by thanking Overcoming for chairing last's night Step and Traditions meeting. I would also like to apologize to everyone for popping in, sharing and running off. If you have a second, I'd like to share a little bit about my day yesterday. Baiscally, it w...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I went on vacation 2 times in July and it was awsome with out my AH. But when I came home I could smell the beer and cigs on his breath. He asked Did you miss me. He++ no this last time last weekend I went to his family cottage with his dad and step mom. AH made me feel guilty about going to his familys place. I did...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

AH is smoking weed to "curb the cravings". This is a horribly msguided attempt to prove to me he's serious about change. I don't even know where to start or what to think. I already told him I want my divorce. The man is terminally ill and I wanted to be there for him but I can't. This is too much....

Christy · Christy

I came upon this old post I wrote about a year and a half ago. With all the new people we've had since then I thought perhaps this portion of it may be of some help. What made me post it today is the way that living with alcoholism can seem to change who we are and rob us of who we once were. Below are some state...

MamaAmy · MamaAmy

Hi, My name is Amy. I just stumbled upon this forum doing a google search about DUI stuff. I've been reading through some of the posts and find it oddly comforting that so many people will understand what I too am going through. I've never actually admitted out loud to anyone that my husband is an alcohol...

Tracy · Tracy

One of my f2f meetings ahs voted me in to chair the meetings for next 6 months has anyone got any tips for chairing a good meeting, any ground rules etc

Bezer · Bezer

I just attended my first "Al-Anon meeting last night. All of you were right, the ability to listen to others who have traveled the same path was comforting. There were no lightening bolts, but I am planning to "keep coming back". I surprised myself with my honesty in sharing but ha...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Sponsorship (Preview) Sponsorship was a topic for tonight's meeting and since no one shared on it, I thought I would post a topic on it. I have been doing a lot of reading in the ODAAT in Al-Anon and Courage to Change, mediation books on this topic. It is a very important one and one that shouldn't be taken lightly if you are asked...	Overcome	2	835	Aug 6, 2009 by maresie
	This is tearing me apart (Preview) I can't think straight anymore. My head hurts! What are my choices? Me and my wife (an A in denial), are about to break up. She hasn't really spoken to me in 10 days now. Since she found out that I told our doctor that she's still drinking, even at almost 6 months pregnant. This is my problem: We have two kids...	ajay147	8	867	Aug 6, 2009 by maresie
	Oh so sad ... (Preview) I have posted before but under a different name, which I can't remember. Today I am distraught, as I was yesterday, last week, last year, two years ago. I have been 'hanging on' to a dry drunk who left my family, (we have a 5 year old son together) and moved countries. For the last 2 years I have wanted to b...	sad4life	4	526	Aug 6, 2009 by Rita G
	new here (Preview) OK, this is new to me. I really don't know if my husband is an alcoholic. I know he drinks everyday and is so obnoxious i can't stand him when he is drinking. His drinking doesn't affect his work, he doesn't drink in the morning or anything like that. It is the same routine everyday. After work he stops for a...	imasharm	3	735	Aug 6, 2009 by Inpain
	Freakin annoying........! (Preview) Just as I thought I feel better, I'm back to being sad. I'm getting sick of myself at this point	kristielaine	5	743	Aug 5, 2009 by kristielaine
	Newcome- logistical ?s about meetings (Preview) Hi there- Im new to all of this so am getting my feet wet- glad to have found this board. My husband wants to save our family and get his drinking under control but it is a bumpy road and he has been in therapy about 6 weeks. We have a LOT of underlying stress (child with cancer) that has caused him to progre...	Joanie	5	683	Aug 5, 2009 by Jerry F
	opps (Preview) Hello family, I made a boo-boo. In my post yesterday I said that it was page 174 in C2C, actually it is 74. That's what I get for quoting a page from a book when the book was home and I was not :) Yours in recovery, Mandy	Mandy123	1	356	Aug 5, 2009 by rtexas
	Codependant (Preview) Dear (((All))) My name is Carol and I'm codependant I was reading an earlier post by Tracy and was prompted to post the following 'check list' for codependancy. When I first read this list it was with great amazement. I could put a tick next to every statement I thought THATS ME! All of it applied to...	Mariner	2	768	Aug 5, 2009 by shellyj123
	An Epiphany (Preview) Thanks everyone. Slowly I'm starting see the light. I had a chat with a board member on the AA board, and started talking about how on our birthdays, this month he wanted to get a hotel room. well he wanted to invite this guy that I don't like, who is an alcoholic, and his friends girlfriend, and I remember...	kristielaine	1	658	Aug 5, 2009 by buick23
	How things transpired is what keeps me......... (Preview) Can you help me think my way through this please, because this is what keeps me lingering on this entire issue with my EAB because of the way he left it. This is what transpired the week leading to our breakup. That Tuesday before our breakup, he and his mother had some sort of big argument where she confir...	kristielaine	7	814	Aug 5, 2009 by buick23
	Letting go.. (Preview) In my honest opinion, it's far easier said than done. For 8 months I've struggled with that. I might have a difference of opinion here to on the interpretation of "letting go" - but for me, it means letting go of HIS actions. The consequences to his actions are MY responsibility. For exam...	Inpain	6	812	Aug 5, 2009 by Lotus
	....sugar and spice and everything nice. (Preview) Hi ((((Family)))) I just had a moment I have to tell about. I spent most of the day today in San Antonio playing. I had a great time and was pulling back into my hometown about 9 o'clock. I am tired, but was trying to decide if I wanted to pull into the video store near my house to rent a movie to "watch&...	david62	12	667	Aug 5, 2009 by Peggy7
	A good page in C2C, my humor, and potential disaster was diverted (Preview) Hi all,I saw once again how working your program can really scare your A and just had to share. My addict husband went over to the neighbors Sunday night and came back and said he was going to walk up the little convenience store and buy the neighbor a beer for his birthday. I said ok and went about my busine...	Mandy123	5	719	Aug 5, 2009 by canadianguy
	A fantastic read (Preview) http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/fashion/02love.html	Aloha	8	891	Aug 5, 2009 by Inpain
	Oops - skipped a page (Preview) Long after reading ODAT and C2C today, I realized that I had read the wrong date. Apparently, the error occurred yesterday when I skipped August 3 and went right to August 4. This may seem like a minor problem to most, but for me, it has me confused. Should I read August 3's reading tomorrow and then be...	N8SMOM	3	464	Aug 5, 2009 by teddybearpoet
	How do you deal with lie after lie after lie (Preview) My husband has been inactive for only 18 days for the first time in 35 years. I have only known him 10 years and during this time he has never gone any longer than 3 days without drinking. I realize now that the withdrawl symptoms were too much for him to bare so he went right back to it. He finally admitted h...	malady	18	2842	Aug 4, 2009 by Princess8899
	I don't want to just wait till my wife hits bottom (Preview) Is there NOTHING I can do? We've been separated for almost 11 months now but still communicate daily and see each other once or twice a week. I am now 5 and a half months sober. She knows she has a problem but is prejudiced against A.A. because she thinks she already knows everything about it (her dad is a...	FlyingSquirrel	11	1058	Aug 4, 2009 by FlyingSquirrel
	what usually happens when A loves you, just can't show you (Preview) When an A stops drinking, are they able to express their love for you better, or does that get worse? He thinks he is, even though I've expressed to him what I need from him, things dont change. You all know the dilemma on our sleeping situation, I've made several posts lately, and he emailed me and said it...	beacheemom	10	837	Aug 4, 2009 by glad lee
	If nothing ever changes, nothing ever changes... (Preview) I remember the first time I read that I thought WOW! How can so few words hold soooo much insight. I remember coming here and being told if I didn't like the way I was feeling to try doing the opposite of what I had been doing and again thought WOW....pretty insightful. Today I am at a wall.......and I eithe...	shellyj123	5	908	Aug 4, 2009 by Inpain
	I did it again.... (Preview) Same old scenario with me and my sister. She gets drunk and I get worried and want to take care of her. She has two addictions alcohol and gambling. I don't even know how she's going to pay her rent. Oh and yes I had to drive over there(45 minutes) to see if she was alright and take her to lunch so that she...	katiecat	6	776	Aug 4, 2009 by Inpain
	update on the unvisit to prison (Preview) I got up at five thirty, drove all the way there with no pain pills. Was all in a dress, did everything I could to my girl body to look ok. Everyone has to fill out an app. to visit someone in prison. Mine should have been done. Guess what, they screwed up. Typical eh? Administration is a joke. So I waited as th...	debilyn	5	562	Aug 4, 2009 by debilyn
	Dumb me :( (Preview) I text him and said "I hope to God that you are getting help - spare me with a violent response - goodbye". Now I feel bad and set myself up for the fact that he won't respond. I guess I'm just angry because everyone got to say what they needed to say but me. He said his peace, my family said what they...	kristielaine	12	765	Aug 4, 2009 by Aloha
	This program works! (Preview) I have made peace--sorta--with everything I'm gonna tell you. Right now I'm still processing through the feelings. But I'm alive, sober, living in the solution, and it's all b/c of y'all. After I lost the job in KS, there was 1 more interview I had: Baylor University, Waco, TX. After a 10 minute interv...	Tiger2006	6	693	Aug 4, 2009 by maresie
	Separating from my A (Preview) After 15 years together, my A and I have separated. His drinking didn't become a problem until the last 4 years, during which time he's logged a total of 120 days inpatient treatment (28 days program, then later, a 90-day transitional living program). He also went to 3 different outpatient treatme...	HG	4	814	Aug 4, 2009 by maresie
	Letter to the Editor... (Preview) I'm grieving. One of our local 15 year old female died of apparent alcohol poisoning. I wanna scream and throw a tantrum!!!! I'll end up outside doing a chant to HP. HP knows. HP hears me. I don't need further proof. This is a grievable offense and so that is what happens with me. I've worked with t...	Jerry F	14	598	Aug 4, 2009 by barisax
	Newness... (Preview) Welperz... Yesterday was the start of my Son's Practice for Soccer, and My SIL & I desided to make a go of it, and while they practiced we would "Walk" for a Healthier US... She too is in Al-anon Program... Well honestly I looked forward to it all day... We walked to her Aunts to find out wh...	Jozie	1	611	Aug 4, 2009 by Tracy
	Looking back without staring (Preview) Well it's 11:40 p.m. I guess it's still officially August 3, so I can share on what the C2C reading on Aug. 3th meant to me. I must start with the beginning sentence, "There was a time in my life when I furiously insisted that alcoholism did not exist in my family." I remember being at a Thanksgi...	Overcome	2	803	Aug 4, 2009 by maresie
	I'm so sad and mad (Preview) A-bf has been in hospital x 4 weeks now... 2-weeks in ICU and 2-weeks on a floor. He had had so much alcohol and pain-killers in his body that his liver and kidneys shut down. He then went into heart failure; had pneumonia and 2 other infections. Has needed transfusions and dialysis. He is still very w...	ESH	5	963	Aug 3, 2009 by ESH
	Control can be a funny thing... (Preview) No really. I've been recognizing when and how my life has been controlled and how I control. My AH-sober-dry drunk (not b/c he wants to but because he wants to stay with his family) decided after watching a reality show on baking cakes, that he wanted to bake one. I had to secrety laugh to myself but to...	Inpain	5	693	Aug 3, 2009 by penelope
	Disappointed and exhausted (Preview) Hi everyone, I don't really ever post on the board but that doesn't mean I don't work my program, I am often in online meetings, f2f, and do my daily readings, but have a really hard time sharing sometimes. Well, right now I really need some support, as I just came back from a week long business trip to Cal...	newbelief	4	980	Aug 3, 2009 by newbelief
	Someone stop me please! (Preview) I want to call him so bad, I want him to know how much he hurt me, but I want to know he's not angry with me. What is wrong with me!! I'm shaking, crying, my stomach hurts. There is absolutely nothing positive to go back to him for but I need to hear his voice :(	kristielaine	10	817	Aug 3, 2009 by kristielaine
	Wallet and dysfunctional family update (Preview) Hi... I posted earlier that I got blasted from my folks for losing my wallet. I appreciated all your support! Those of you who said that I shouldn't be giving my parents stuff to worry about-- you're right. I will try to stick to this and watch my speech around them. The way it goes is that anything tha...	Cashey100	2	706	Aug 3, 2009 by Cashey100
	This too shall pass......Holding on and diggin in with all I have.... (Preview) To update everyone, the new friend "M" of the EXABF emailed me today to let me know pretty much that she emailed EXABF last night and told him that she was sorry but wasn't ready to start dating right now and her daughters didn't want her too, and that there was to much drama in his life that she d...	shellyj123	0	592	Aug 3, 2009 by shellyj123
	running away.... (Preview) In todays ODAAT in Al-Anon reading, August 1, it talks about how sometimes we think that by running away from our problems that all could be solved. I know I have tried this approach myself and can attest to the fact that it does not work. When I first married at 19 to an active drinker, I had no idea what alc...	Overcome	8	661	Aug 3, 2009 by sterling7
	what is going on with me? confused, please help (Preview) hi all, confused on alot of things right now. Maybe someone has some answers for me as to what is going on with me. I know this is long (most of mine are -lol) a few nights ago, AH came to bed with me for two nights and it was wonderful- yes, he was still drinking, but there was intimacy, a feeling of closeness w...	beacheemom	4	631	Aug 3, 2009 by sterling7
	20 Wishes (Preview) I hope this is ok to write on here because it helps you focus on yourself. I read this book 20 wishes by Debbie Macomber it was so good. After reading it I started my list. Its making me so happy and i"m doing the things I want and taking time for my self. I have not thought about doing things I want to d...	peacewithin	1	459	Aug 3, 2009 by debilyn
	Something to ponder.... (Preview) *Old African Proverb: "Advise and counsel him. If he does not listen, Let adversity teach him." Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty* -- Edited by Karilynn on Monday 3rd of August 2009 10:45:19 AM -- Edited by Karilynn on Monday 3rd of August 2009 10:47:39 AM	Karilynn	2	613	Aug 3, 2009 by shellyj123
	Time for Me :) (Preview) Been working out some much needed things in my mind & heart these last couple weeks. Haven't been here quite as much as usual, however I know that If I don't get "ME" back on track, I am going to stay "STUCK" and I don't want that... My boy turned 12 yesterday, and after spending...	Jozie	3	712	Aug 3, 2009 by shellyj123
	Acceptance of the unacceptable (Preview) My sponsor keeps telling me I need to love my A for who he is and accept him as he is. When I ask my boyfriend what it meant that he bought me a $1, 200 gift (that represents alot of money to us) even though he had just said he "wasn't so sure about us", he acts offended and he said" I'm not gonn...	glad	4	591	Aug 3, 2009 by katiecat
	CHOICES (Preview) Choices Such a small word but such a life changer. My AH-sober is struggling right now with not being happy in his job.Tonite when we were watching tv he said " I hate my job".This is due to a change in his job that was not of his doing.He has gone from being ok with it to hating it to being ok with it...	drucilla06	3	633	Aug 3, 2009 by katiecat
	Why am I feeling this way? (Preview) I know this is my first weekend without him. But last night I had a hard time, it was like I was going through withdrawals or something, and I wasn't the one who drank. I couldn't sleep, I was hurting all over and shaking. I haven't heard from him and I'm not calling or contacting him, even though the pit of...	kristielaine	6	665	Aug 3, 2009 by kristielaine
	At what age??? (Preview) (((Family))), At what age is it appropriate to tell a child about a parent's addiction? Here's what's going on. Yesterday my older niece "Laura" called me to tell me her Dad stole her car while she was with her Mom & younger sister "Lisa" white water rafting. When she call...	Karilynn	8	553	Aug 3, 2009 by abbyal
	responsibility (Preview) My ABF has been sober for 3months and is doing well atending meetings has a sponsor so on. He is working now and paying me some money towards the bills. However I am finding I am becoming resentful. I earn more money than him and we have a nice standard of living. His money he contributes isnt even enog...	Tracy	4	475	Aug 3, 2009 by sterling7
	Insanity at it's finest.........all over again. (Preview) Well after adding the EXABF's new "freind" to MY page, I got to feeling guily and decided to fess up to her. (of course Trish ya had to be on my shoulder didn't ya???) I basically told her that my ex was on her page also, and if that was an issue for her that I understood if she wanted to delete me-...	shellyj123	3	816	Aug 2, 2009 by sterling7
	Had affair when he was in rehab.....insanity is creeping in. (Preview) As challenging as it was to try to re-integrate with my husband after exiting rehab last week was - it was a walk in the park compared to dealing with the fact that he had an affair with a suicidal alcoholic while there. I found out Monday night and confronted him - I informed her husband and she confirmed...	Maine Girl	9	2792	Aug 2, 2009 by Maine Girl
	Just days out of abusive relationship (Preview) Hello everyone, my name is Kristi. This is my first time posting on the board. I am just three days out of a relationship with an abusive man who suffers with alcoholism, and right now I'm having a hard time because despite of all the abuse, I miss him. I've been told that's normal, but I don't want to go bac...	kristielaine	11	822	Aug 2, 2009 by maresie
	Doing the 10th step? (Preview) Here it is the last day of July! As I read in ODAAT in Al-Anon for July 31, it suggests that we look back over the month to see what progress we have made in our program and what changes have taken place in our life. I wonder if this is like doing a 10th step or an al-anon group doing an inventory conscience? We...	Overcome	3	494	Aug 2, 2009 by maresie
	esh visiting AH in prison, please, afraid (Preview) Has anyone visited a loved one in prison? Would appreciate your thoughts and esh. For one, I do not do well out of control. Being inside is hard for me. I will not go in a skyscraper. Being locked in, bothers me. I read they search you. So all I am bringing in is me, and my keys. I guess I have to take my piercing...	debilyn	8	572	Aug 2, 2009 by maresie
	the benefit of having goals. (Preview) Part of detaching for me is the joy of having manageable achievable goals rather than struggling and feeling I am not achieving much. I could of course be really down as I still live around very dsyfunctional people (detaching really helps there) there is little work to be hard where I am and I am worki...	maresie	3	746	Aug 2, 2009 by maresie
	Dry for 4 days (Preview) I wrote yesterday about the peace I felt when I went on vacation. I want to feel this peace all the time in my life. I did not stick to my boundries again. I said he was to leave on July 31. I gave him a month and I did remind him about that date. It came a went, he started to say I could not afford the bill staying in...	peacewithin	3	733	Aug 2, 2009 by abbyal
	Comfortably uncomfortable....A new day, a new month, a new me..... (Preview) Woke up today and made my mind up that I am done being crazy:)! I simply can not spend another day of my life allowing myself to get sucked into other people's insanity and chasing it around on my own when that doesn't happen. Yesterday I went so far as to check EXABF's page again-my thought process was &q...	shellyj123	3	837	Aug 2, 2009 by Tracy
	First Al-Anon meeting (Preview) I attended my first Al-Anon meeting today and I must say it felt good to know all the crap my ex told me was typical comments. When it came time to share, I cried like a baby explaining what happened and that I was just four days out of this relationship. I still miss his, but its going to get better :(	kristielaine	2	656	Aug 2, 2009 by Tracy
	Another big AHA moment (Preview) He would prefer to be miserable. I don't know why I never saw it before, why I just realized it now...in the middle of a talk about where things went wrong. I clearly remember him choosing to be unhappy-about everything! I would run myself ragged trying to make things right for him and they never were. He...	RainyJamie	5	833	Aug 2, 2009 by RainyJamie
	Last night's step meeting... (Preview) Hello and Hugs My MIP Family, I'd like to start by thanking Overcoming for chairing last's night Step and Traditions meeting. I would also like to apologize to everyone for popping in, sharing and running off. If you have a second, I'd like to share a little bit about my day yesterday. Baiscally, it w...	Sincerely	2	1249	Aug 2, 2009 by debilyn
	I felt the peace within (Preview) I went on vacation 2 times in July and it was awsome with out my AH. But when I came home I could smell the beer and cigs on his breath. He asked Did you miss me. He++ no this last time last weekend I went to his family cottage with his dad and step mom. AH made me feel guilty about going to his familys place. I did...	peacewithin	3	861	Aug 1, 2009 by nmike
	This is too dumb (Preview) AH is smoking weed to "curb the cravings". This is a horribly msguided attempt to prove to me he's serious about change. I don't even know where to start or what to think. I already told him I want my divorce. The man is terminally ill and I wanted to be there for him but I can't. This is too much....	RainyJamie	7	826	Aug 1, 2009 by RainyJamie
	A re-post (Preview) I came upon this old post I wrote about a year and a half ago. With all the new people we've had since then I thought perhaps this portion of it may be of some help. What made me post it today is the way that living with alcoholism can seem to change who we are and rob us of who we once were. Below are some state...	Christy	2	827	Aug 1, 2009 by Overcome
	Introducing myself =) first timer here (Preview) Hi, My name is Amy. I just stumbled upon this forum doing a google search about DUI stuff. I've been reading through some of the posts and find it oddly comforting that so many people will understand what I too am going through. I've never actually admitted out loud to anyone that my husband is an alcohol...	MamaAmy	7	530	Aug 1, 2009 by abbyal
	chairing meetings (Preview) One of my f2f meetings ahs voted me in to chair the meetings for next 6 months has anyone got any tips for chairing a good meeting, any ground rules etc	Tracy	6	6874	Aug 1, 2009 by Mobirdie
	"A little help from my friends....." (Preview) I just attended my first "Al-Anon meeting last night. All of you were right, the ability to listen to others who have traveled the same path was comforting. There were no lightening bolts, but I am planning to "keep coming back". I surprised myself with my honesty in sharing but ha...	Bezer	7	781	Aug 1, 2009 by Lotus
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.