The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
AH is smoking weed to "curb the cravings". This is a horribly msguided attempt to prove to me he's serious about change. I don't even know where to start or what to think. I already told him I want my divorce. The man is terminally ill and I wanted to be there for him but I can't. This is too much. And he's babbling incoherently with a vacant smile, I'm not even amused.
__________________
I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.
I can relate to your post so much my Abf has been sober for 3 months and is smoking. This is his problem I know he is aware of it and hs shared it at his meeting. I am just glad he is sober anything is better than that. I believe he will stop smoking and its his recovery I am leaving that up to him. Since my A has become sober it has made me realsie how much I focus on him, his life , his choices I know if I leave him tomorrow and meet someone else they may not drink but they wont be perfect either I will focus on what they need to change e.g loose weight, handle money better etc etc. Step one I am powerless i am really trying to focus on myself.
I hope this helps take what you like and leave the rest
Hey, I thought my A was the only one who tried that. Divorce? He's filed once and I've filed once! I want COURAGE to really get a divorce. Good Luck! Sincerely, Tonya
My A traded alcohol for weed too! It doesn't work. Alcohol is physically addictive. Even self proclaimed "smokers who don't like drinking" will prefer drinking once they are addicted to alcohol.
RJ, sometimes for some of our loved A's, they honestly believe it is easier for them to be high/down/whatever, than clean on a program. This sad as it takes until they are so deathly sick to think, "well it might be better to go to detox then rehab." Sadly then after awhile, they think,"Oh it is not that bad, I will try it." That is all it takes and they are right back where they were.
We have to do what is best for each one of us. Sometimes we have to be so miserable and hopeless to give up! I gave up living with my AH. But I am still there for him as my friend.
It's called "marijuana maintenance" in the program and it is a common route among A's. I also think it is stupid. And many A's come to see it as stupid also, when they choose real sobriety.
Get this...my ex A was a crack addict. But he loved AA (more than NA or other 12 step geared for cocaine addiction) so, he decided to make alcohol his drug of choice and proceeded to hang out in bars and drink himself stupid. Get into bar fights, spend all his money on alcohol, make drunk, slobering middle of the night phone calls to me, keep a stash of beer and hard alcohol on hand where he was living. Brillant!!
That way, he would fit in better with the AA's.
The best way I have heard of an A to get sober is to surrender their life and their will to their HP. Because pot, alcohol, pills, cocaine or herione will never ever fill the hole in their soul.
And the same thing can be said for me trying to fill the hole in my soul with another human being. Never worked for me.
Great Post RJ, and the responses were right on for me and then I find my self repeating ..."Came to believe a power greater than myself could lead me to sanity." My alcoholic lost much power when I finally got it!! Thanks again.
oh I'm so glad i came back for ESH. I told him I don't want him smoking in the house or around the kids. I just had to go stop him from sparking up in MY car. And I know it wont work, he will still get cravings and maybe even go into DTs, as it has now been about 36 hours since his last drink. Then he will be drunk and stoned. I can't even look at him stoned, he's so ridiculous, and the kids can tell, even if they can't put thier finger right on it. I mean, what is the trade off? It's not damaging to his liver (he already had hep C) but it is to his lungs. It makes him dumb but not rowdy like alcohol. He's trying to convince me he's using it medicinally.
__________________
I'm like a pinch of tea...put me in hot water and see how strong I can be.