Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kerry5 · kerry5

I am having xmas eve tonight with my kids. As they will be with my ex this year for xmas. I will not be home in time to chair. if an op can please fill in.. thank you Kerry

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

My 40 yo A/DA son entered himself into detox and then rehab. I was quite proud of him for taking those steps and still am. He had been living with us for around 9 months with stipulations that we would support him in what he must do. Those stipulations were... Stay clean and sober Go to meetings regular...

belle1 · belle1

Lauras family have been told it could take weeks before they can release her body. Her hubby (sober A) hasnt yet found a way to tell the boys, reason being he admits to being a coward(his own words) and her death being on the 16th and oldest sons 11th birthday on the 20th and next is christmas ..bless him, g...

Jozie · Jozie

Surgery went well as well as it could, She is home however, She is still in Alot of pain, So any and All that could spare some more Prayers Please keep them coming... She is down & out and needs a MIP Uplift if you all could help out :o) If you could spare a message of love... Anything to help her get out o...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Went and saw AH at the prison sunday. When the visit was over, I got this rush of emotion. Started to cry as he hugged me goodbye. He said everything will be ok. He probably thought I was crying for him. I was crying because we will never be ok again, there is no we at all. That night I had dreams of someone tel...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I was in an open AA meeting this morning - it's a step 10, 11, and 12 meeting, and it's my favorite one all week. :) This morning we were talking about Step 10. "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it." This has been on my mind a lot the last few days,...

3dogs · 3dogs

Hello, I am new here. My husband of 16 years is an alcoholic. I am at my wits end in trying to help him. I don't know what to do, but I know I will not leave. The drinking is progressively getting worse. He blames all of our problems on everyone but himself. The frustrating part is that I am graduate schoo...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Just got the call to tell me that surgery is tomorrow at 730am.....I am the first of the day-YEAH! Funny last night I started praying, asking my HP to please get me in there as early as I could, and I'd love to be first......that way it's not so long that I have to go without a drink (which is the HARDEST thin...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

The last couple of weeks have been a time of a lot of transformation for me. Well, basically since my ex boyfriend and I split up. I have had a lot of chaos at home related to the oldest and middle children and have been dealing with a lot of stress related to that. Also, going to school every other weeken...

fishinmama · fishinmama

I had posted in the past that due to some medical problems I can not drive right now. I live in a rural area and that makes it tough. Today though I get to get out. I am going to lunch with family and then hopefully stop by a good friends house. I am so excited since Thanksgiving the only place I have been is...

noclue · noclue

I have been reading a few post there was a comment about treating others better than yourself. This really hit home I'm guilty, I don't drink or drug I just don't have any desire. My wife on the otherhand who has been clean and sober for almost five years lives everyday to stay that way. When she first cam...

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

My daughter is sobbing, grieving terribly for her cat. This cat was 20 years old and has been her comfort during the A's binges and rages. This cat has dried her tears with his fur, "kissed" (licked) her tears away and stood still while she sobbed into his fur, burying her face, hiding from...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha MIPers/Al-Anon Family Groupers...The consequence of practice is new found or in this case old found knowledge and awareness which is so supportive to ones recovery from the disease and its effects. I remember in early program reading from inside the ODAAT daily reader the wisdom of Dr. Har...

Ginger · Ginger

Hi, I am new here and looking for advise. I have been married 20 years, the problem began 6 years ago. My AH has had help and is in AA. A year ago I thought he reached his rock bottom, and has been sober until about 8weeks ago, when he fell of the wagon for the weekend. I thought when you hit rock bottom you were d...

scotslass · scotslass

Hi everyone im new to this forum have read it a few times thought id post i left my husband finally after 8 years of crap finding it very very difficult not to think about him wonder if hes drinking etc god only knows why but im angry i guess that ive left and hes still drinking what does it take him to stop he by...

rosielee · rosielee

before i de my request i want to fill you in ,y mum has been sober for 15 years but was drunk for 15 yrs before that- when she was drunk, shed go off on abusive ravings and ramblings for hours- it would start from the time she picked us up frm school to the time she crashed out late- we were withdrawn kids and sc...

intothewoods · intothewoods

I feel the need to tell my story, and I'm a writer so this is the easiest way for me to tell it. I'm not so much looking for advice as I am just needing to get this out. Maybe it's my way of telling my HP. If reading this gives you any insight you'd like to share, please do. And thanks in advance if you read the whol...

belle1 · belle1

My Friend Laura(35) Passed Away This Morning Fom Alchol And Pain Killers Abuse Leaving 2 Small Boys With CP 10&6 Yrs Old And Her Long Term Partner Her Organs Failed And Took Swelling On The Brain Which Gave Her Brain Damage Her Family Were Advised To Switch Off Her Life Support. Death leaves a hear...

layneee · layneee

hello.... i've shared serveral times on this site and recieved great words of widom and encouragment and I am more grateful than you could ever know.. this message is to say that my Abf passed away early sunday morning after a struggle with alcohol. He was 31 years old and the absolute love of my life. Ev...

John · John

Hello Fellow members! The outpouring of cards being sent to the MIP recovery homes, for the residents in them is absolutely amazing! The guys are so touched by what you have done. Every time I walk into one of the homes, someone pulls me aside to share one of the cards they have recieved. These are not...

Rora · Rora

I feel like Alanon is a good tool in recognizing some enabling behaviours and helping us to deal better in our relationships with an A, no matter if that relationship is a child, friend, parent, sibling, spouse, what have you. In my particular case, my A is a spouse, from whom I am separated. At this poi...

maresie · maresie

I know one reason I stayed with the ex A was that all his chaos, confusion, demands meant I could not focus on myself at all. In fact I really feel he felt that if I had a moment to myself it was somehow stolen from him. He complained when I was grieving about my mother's sudden death that I was not paying att...

Jen · Jen

I had a minor blowup with my mother this morning. She called to ask me about my A brothers check that our dad always sends for Christmas. I did not realise she was also going to invite me to a resentment. She is codependent, of course, and is very good at sending me these covert invitations to resentments....

shellyj123 · shellyj123

The last thing I wanted to do Friday night was go to my F2F meeting. I haven't been feeling the best physically, mentally or spiritually and the depression is soooo huge and overwelming right now, and didn't really want to rain on anyone else's holidays and good times. As I layed there in bed half asle...

john boy · john boy

T o start off I would like to wish everybody an early Merry Christmas , and a Happy New Year , I am going to pray for forgiveness to my hp ( god ) ! And pray for forgiveness for my X wife and her family and wish them a merry christmas and a happy new year also ! Mabe I'll luck out and my X wife will send me a christmas...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

I'm sorry - just need a bit of a (subdued) vent I now feel my AH is at the point of no return. He spends most of the time in bed, doesn't eat and only moves to drag himself to local shop for more fags and brandy. His only hope, I feel, would be a long spell in residential treatment which neither I nor the (UK) Na...

dori711 · dori711

Surprisingly my husband cut down on his drinking to weekends only. I was already thinking he doesn't have a drinking problem, but today his behavior was very agitated like it hurt his brain to cope even though he wasn't drinking. I spent all evening looking for some papers for him, and you would thi...

fishinmama · fishinmama

As to how I did yesterday...It was a busy day reminding myself to stick to the now. I see how my mind is keeping me stuck in the past. The amount of time I am spending there in sad thoughts or fantasy is amazing. As with anything that is worth while I need to stick to it. I sure see alot of alanon basics in t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just want to mention that my last post was supposed to be funny! I was very excited when I wrote it earlier this week. I had a good experience at the dentist really. I am so happy to report any positive things & hope I will get feedback. This week has been better than most. Maybe it is because Christm...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so happy to finally have gotten my gold crown last WEDS. I was waiting to get in for a few weeks but couldn't get in. You are saying what does that have to do with Alanon? Here goes: I sat in the dentist's chair for several minutes before he could finally get the crown in. It was rocking & even the d...

fishinmama · fishinmama

I started to read a new book. It talks of staying in the now. That our thinking draws from the past and future. I almost put it down when I started as it difficult for me and a different concept. I read at night to close down my brain. This was making me think, but I thought what the heck. It talks about o...

Mom09 · Mom09

This is my first time to post. I'm really lost right now. I have 2 sons that I love very much. D is 21 and b is 20. D went to rehab for 26 days for oxycoti and b does not admit to having a problem. When away to college came home and the last 6 months has been hell. I put both out of the house last night. Both h...

Gailey · Gailey

I don't know how many people have ever picked up the Big Book of AA but I bought one many years ago when I belonged to OA. Chapter 5...How it Works...was read at the beginning of every meeting. I will never forget those words as they mean so much more to me today then they ever did at that time. If you get a chan...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

It finally happened. My husband lost his so-called control over alcohol and didn't come home last night. I called his friend and he said that my husband stayed with them last night and was heading over to the house this morning. What a bunch os BS. If he so innocently stayed there, why didn't he called an...

Ash · Ash

So I am learning how to feel again after creating the habit of denying them for a REALLY long time. My sponsor and therapist say that I am grieving many things right now. Biggest one being the "dream" of the way I thought things were and should (haha) be. Acceptance that hurt hurt's kind of s...

cmh2009 · cmh2009

My husband and I have been separated for just over a month. Due to his alcohol use he came home from a bad day and work and took it out on our teenager and made threats to myself, this is not a normal occurance - the violence but the drinking is the norm. The police were called and he was removed and charged...

suzydawn · suzydawn

I think it has probably been about three years since I last posted. The roller coaster ride I have been on just seems unbelievable to me. I work in adult psychiatric health & work with my share of addictions. I never experienced addictions in my personal life before meeting my now husband. And...

Ash · Ash

Hitting a bit of fear and panic here guys and gals. And I just got out of a meeting to. The reality of this disease is painful and scary to me. I thought the dui in June that my AH got with our son in the car would have snapped him into recovery (I met him in the program when he supposedly had 12 years - that was 7...

pixie711 · pixie711

Hi. My boyfriend of 1 year (2 years of being friends with him) relapsed after 6 years of sobriety a few months ago. Almost two months ago he called things off saying he couldn't handle a relationship considering his state (he's also suffering from depression and anxiety). We were still "talking...

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

I can't believe this happened to me! I am just SO angry!!! Someone broke out the windows in my basement, climbed in, and stole all of the copper pipes in my basement to sell to a scrap metal place to have some money to buy drugs. When I called the police they told me that it is a common crime now, addicts...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

Thank you. Your input to my last post has been fantastic and truly appreciated! You opened up your hearts & souls to me and gave me insight into a difficult subject. I now understand much more and also realize the reasons are as numerous as the stars. To those who felt I was being judgmental, my pos...

hopeful923 · hopeful923

So, within the last 6 months I have seriously addressed my ABF's drinking problem. Of course it's an ongoing issue as I'm sure you can all relate. He has always denied. Always had an excuse and justification for EVERYTHING. I know that this is part of the disease. Well, we got into a fight on Sunday and I...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I was in an open AA meeting this morning. A fellow al-anon shared that he was angry that particular family members would call his alcoholic before they went out to dinner and ask if she minded if they drank. He was angry that the family members wouldn't give up alcohol for one meal. He said that he had g...

jdaniel · jdaniel

Mum powered away a bunch of drinks at dinner and I've got to set a boundry. Can you tell me what you think of this? Is this healthy? --- Mum, Thanks for giving me the time to write this, I think it's just better to digest stuff and then respond. I got your texts and this isnt about whether of not I love you or try...

brynnk · brynnk

Hello, I am looking to attend an Al Anon meeting, and have never been to one before. Can I just show up to one, or do I need to attend a beginners meeting first?

fishinmama · fishinmama

Ok so today I am thinking about fear...I am thinking part of my hang up with let go and let god is fear. fear fear fear...as I reread posts others have written it is extrememly important to overcome our fears to allow growth to flow. I thought about this, this morning. A glance at the past shows me that I h...

jasobel · jasobel

This weekend my alcoholic boyfriend left me yet again. We have been together 2 years, most of the time he has been sober, but this is the third and probably last time. This time he left to live with his parents. He went on a binge 2 months ago and left me to live with another woman who was actively drinking....

Jerry F · Jerry F

Thanks for the responses to "Reaching"...the problem is denial which has its roots firmly planted in my subconscious. I am being reminded of how I got here, what happened and what hasn't been done and why. I understand and need to understand more because of the current situation. So I...

Ragdolls · Ragdolls

I won't go into all of the incidents of this past weekend, just the latest that's irritating me. I don't think I reacted correctly and I need some input. Yesterday evening, I was missing $3 from my purse. I normally don't keep cash in there because it seems to walk off on it's own. I called my alcoholic...

jasobel · jasobel

Hi - I am new to Alanon - well about 2 months. The hardest part for me is getting to meetings. I am a single mom and most meetings are evenings. I work during the day. I can get to one meeting on Sundays when I don't have my daughter - but one meeting a week doesn't seem to do it for me. My boyfriend just left me who...

Rora · Rora

Some of you may recall that I was feeling unhappy with my Sponsor. I felt as though she wasn't listening to me the way I needed her to, that she'd interject and it always seemed like she was waiting on the edge of her seat to speak her mind and experiences, rather than just give the chance to clear out my min...

Not2bforgot10 · Not2bforgot10

My partner and I got into an argument today about Christmas. I know I shouldn't care, but I am really bothered because over Christmas she wants to go and visit her mother, and at her mother's is where all the issues with addiction are. I am highly uncomfortable. Every time I have visited there, there has...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

During the past two days I have done a lot of reflecting on my personal issues and character "traits" (hate to use the word flaws). I've realized that a lot of my anxiety about my upcoming surgery is more likely than not a product of me NOT being able to be in control.......something I a...

so confused · so confused

Well I guess abit of history, I have been with an alcholic for the last 4 years. It wasn't completely apparent in the beginning, but the last year or so has been very bad. He has had a couple of stints with rehad, in fact just came out today. He is very positive and really wanting to try. Starts his AADAC...

hopeful923 · hopeful923

Well, I am still fairly new to this site and this is only my second posting. I have commented once or twice and I read other people's postings. It's comforting to know other people can relate. I know I need to go to Al-ANON meetings. It's just not that easy...with sharing a car and all with my ABF. The last t...

angel66 · angel66

I need help. I actually need strength. I'm tired of dealing w/ my AH , who promises that he will "really work on" cutting his beer drinking down. He still has an alcoholic personality. He still blames me for everything. I am going to start going to f2f meetings next week but I am so frustr...

codependent_who_knew · codependent_who_knew

Its been along time since I have been here and my story is very long, I will make it short...My husband left last year for two months, went to detox and then a half way house.He also moved in with a woman he met and lived with her for the 4 weeks prior to ending up at my door sick about where he ended up. Had every...

blender_girl · blender_girl

My head knows my AH is ill. My head knows he is manipulative. My head knows he is fearful and that his fear is driving a lot of his behavior. My head knows I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to. My heart is angry and frustrated that he is not rational and that I can't have a meaningful discussio...

codependent_who_knew · codependent_who_knew

My AH has been sober now almost 7 months. This is the 1st time he has been soberin 8.5 years for this long and I know this is WHY he is so UP ON HIMSELF.... and has decided to move out and now wants a divorce. He moved out 2 days ago and is already in a frenzy, cant see the kids, NEEDS a meeting.....really hard on...

Mattie · Mattie

I'm in kind of an unusual position -- I took my codie tendencies to whole new complicated lengths. I had an alcoholic husband, and after a lot of turmoil I realized he wasn't going into recovery and I couldn't take it, and so we split up. I was helped through this by a close friend who was a pillar of AA and...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Need an op to chair tonight 9pm meeting (Preview) I am having xmas eve tonight with my kids. As they will be with my ex this year for xmas. I will not be home in time to chair. if an op can please fill in.. thank you Kerry	kerry5	0	466	Dec 22, 2009 by kerry5
	Did what I had to...why does it hurt so much (Preview) My 40 yo A/DA son entered himself into detox and then rehab. I was quite proud of him for taking those steps and still am. He had been living with us for around 9 months with stipulations that we would support him in what he must do. Those stipulations were... Stay clean and sober Go to meetings regular...	Mobirdie	7	1571	Dec 22, 2009 by Mobirdie
	update on friend (Preview) Lauras family have been told it could take weeks before they can release her body. Her hubby (sober A) hasnt yet found a way to tell the boys, reason being he admits to being a coward(his own words) and her death being on the 16th and oldest sons 11th birthday on the 20th and next is christmas ..bless him, g...	belle1	3	465	Dec 22, 2009 by shadow1
	Shellyj123 Update.... (Preview) Surgery went well as well as it could, She is home however, She is still in Alot of pain, So any and All that could spare some more Prayers Please keep them coming... She is down & out and needs a MIP Uplift if you all could help out :o) If you could spare a message of love... Anything to help her get out o...	Jozie	8	990	Dec 22, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Finally the end (Preview) Went and saw AH at the prison sunday. When the visit was over, I got this rush of emotion. Started to cry as he hugged me goodbye. He said everything will be ok. He probably thought I was crying for him. I was crying because we will never be ok again, there is no we at all. That night I had dreams of someone tel...	Debilyn	17	1067	Dec 21, 2009 by artygirl
	Step 10 - AHA moment! (Preview) I was in an open AA meeting this morning - it's a step 10, 11, and 12 meeting, and it's my favorite one all week. :) This morning we were talking about Step 10. "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it." This has been on my mind a lot the last few days,...	White Rabbit	1	893	Dec 21, 2009 by artie
	New here (Preview) Hello, I am new here. My husband of 16 years is an alcoholic. I am at my wits end in trying to help him. I don't know what to do, but I know I will not leave. The drinking is progressively getting worse. He blames all of our problems on everyone but himself. The frustrating part is that I am graduate schoo...	3dogs	5	867	Dec 21, 2009 by abbyal
	Surgery tomorrow at 7:30am-please send up some prayers MIP family! (Preview) Just got the call to tell me that surgery is tomorrow at 730am.....I am the first of the day-YEAH! Funny last night I started praying, asking my HP to please get me in there as early as I could, and I'd love to be first......that way it's not so long that I have to go without a drink (which is the HARDEST thin...	shellyj123	10	880	Dec 21, 2009 by Andrea12
	Update on me (Preview) The last couple of weeks have been a time of a lot of transformation for me. Well, basically since my ex boyfriend and I split up. I have had a lot of chaos at home related to the oldest and middle children and have been dealing with a lot of stress related to that. Also, going to school every other weeken...	carolinagirl	3	692	Dec 21, 2009 by carolinagirl
	I'm getting out and want the world to know (Preview) I had posted in the past that due to some medical problems I can not drive right now. I live in a rural area and that makes it tough. Today though I get to get out. I am going to lunch with family and then hopefully stop by a good friends house. I am so excited since Thanksgiving the only place I have been is...	fishinmama	6	966	Dec 20, 2009 by maire rua
	love you,best friend, get away talk (Preview) I have been reading a few post there was a comment about treating others better than yourself. This really hit home I'm guilty, I don't drink or drug I just don't have any desire. My wife on the otherhand who has been clean and sober for almost five years lives everyday to stay that way. When she first cam...	noclue	3	1023	Dec 20, 2009 by Jerry F
	Need prayers for daughter to deal with losing part of support system for A dad. (Preview) My daughter is sobbing, grieving terribly for her cat. This cat was 20 years old and has been her comfort during the A's binges and rages. This cat has dried her tears with his fur, "kissed" (licked) her tears away and stood still while she sobbed into his fur, burying her face, hiding from...	MaryPoppins	10	1023	Dec 20, 2009 by MaryPoppins
	An old lesson revisited (Preview) Aloha MIPers/Al-Anon Family Groupers...The consequence of practice is new found or in this case old found knowledge and awareness which is so supportive to ones recovery from the disease and its effects. I remember in early program reading from inside the ODAAT daily reader the wisdom of Dr. Har...	Jerry F	1	845	Dec 20, 2009 by fishinmama
	Newbie needing advice (Preview) Hi, I am new here and looking for advise. I have been married 20 years, the problem began 6 years ago. My AH has had help and is in AA. A year ago I thought he reached his rock bottom, and has been sober until about 8weeks ago, when he fell of the wagon for the weekend. I thought when you hit rock bottom you were d...	Ginger	4	1016	Dec 20, 2009 by Tattyhead
	newbie (Preview) Hi everyone im new to this forum have read it a few times thought id post i left my husband finally after 8 years of crap finding it very very difficult not to think about him wonder if hes drinking etc god only knows why but im angry i guess that ive left and hes still drinking what does it take him to stop he by...	scotslass	8	1301	Dec 20, 2009 by kitty
	an introduction and request for support (Preview) before i de my request i want to fill you in ,y mum has been sober for 15 years but was drunk for 15 yrs before that- when she was drunk, shed go off on abusive ravings and ramblings for hours- it would start from the time she picked us up frm school to the time she crashed out late- we were withdrawn kids and sc...	rosielee	4	836	Dec 20, 2009 by Overcome
	My Story WARNING: LONG POST! LOL (Preview) I feel the need to tell my story, and I'm a writer so this is the easiest way for me to tell it. I'm not so much looking for advice as I am just needing to get this out. Maybe it's my way of telling my HP. If reading this gives you any insight you'd like to share, please do. And thanks in advance if you read the whol...	intothewoods	9	1005	Dec 19, 2009 by Debilyn
	RIP Friend (Preview) My Friend Laura(35) Passed Away This Morning Fom Alchol And Pain Killers Abuse Leaving 2 Small Boys With CP 10&6 Yrs Old And Her Long Term Partner Her Organs Failed And Took Swelling On The Brain Which Gave Her Brain Damage Her Family Were Advised To Switch Off Her Life Support. *Death leaves a hear...*	belle1	12	963	Dec 19, 2009 by wp
	finally able to RIP..... (Preview) hello.... i've shared serveral times on this site and recieved great words of widom and encouragment and I am more grateful than you could ever know.. this message is to say that my Abf passed away early sunday morning after a struggle with alcohol. He was 31 years old and the absolute love of my life. Ev...	layneee	14	864	Dec 19, 2009 by Tattyhead
	Holiday Amazement - MIP Residents (Preview) Hello Fellow members! The outpouring of cards being sent to the MIP recovery homes, for the residents in them is absolutely amazing! The guys are so touched by what you have done. Every time I walk into one of the homes, someone pulls me aside to share one of the cards they have recieved. These are not...	John	1	884	Dec 19, 2009 by Jen
	Do you ever think Alanon is just a way to cope with an unhappy marriage? (Preview) I feel like Alanon is a good tool in recognizing some enabling behaviours and helping us to deal better in our relationships with an A, no matter if that relationship is a child, friend, parent, sibling, spouse, what have you. In my particular case, my A is a spouse, from whom I am separated. At this poi...	Rora	12	1126	Dec 19, 2009 by Dyinginside
	Reality (Preview) I know one reason I stayed with the ex A was that all his chaos, confusion, demands meant I could not focus on myself at all. In fact I really feel he felt that if I had a moment to myself it was somehow stolen from him. He complained when I was grieving about my mother's sudden death that I was not paying att...	maresie	3	922	Dec 19, 2009 by Andrea12
	Who is it safe to be ME around? (Preview) I had a minor blowup with my mother this morning. She called to ask me about my A brothers check that our dad always sends for Christmas. I did not realise she was also going to invite me to a resentment. She is codependent, of course, and is very good at sending me these covert invitations to resentments....	Jen	4	1314	Dec 19, 2009 by blender_girl
	Challenges are my HP's way to help me grow spiritually.... (Preview) The last thing I wanted to do Friday night was go to my F2F meeting. I haven't been feeling the best physically, mentally or spiritually and the depression is soooo huge and overwelming right now, and didn't really want to rain on anyone else's holidays and good times. As I layed there in bed half asle...	shellyj123	3	1439	Dec 19, 2009 by kitty
	Christmas , and forgiveness (Preview) T o start off I would like to wish everybody an early Merry Christmas , and a Happy New Year , I am going to pray for forgiveness to my hp ( god ) ! And pray for forgiveness for my X wife and her family and wish them a merry christmas and a happy new year also ! Mabe I'll luck out and my X wife will send me a christmas...	john boy	5	1059	Dec 18, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Depressed (Preview) I'm sorry - just need a bit of a (subdued) vent I now feel my AH is at the point of no return. He spends most of the time in bed, doesn't eat and only moves to drag himself to local shop for more fags and brandy. His only hope, I feel, would be a long spell in residential treatment which neither I nor the (UK) Na...	Tattyhead	6	818	Dec 18, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Cut down on drinking. (Preview) Surprisingly my husband cut down on his drinking to weekends only. I was already thinking he doesn't have a drinking problem, but today his behavior was very agitated like it hurt his brain to cope even though he wasn't drinking. I spent all evening looking for some papers for him, and you would thi...	dori711	8	881	Dec 18, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Staying in the now --part 2 (Preview) As to how I did yesterday...It was a busy day reminding myself to stick to the now. I see how my mind is keeping me stuck in the past. The amount of time I am spending there in sad thoughts or fantasy is amazing. As with anything that is worth while I need to stick to it. I sure see alot of alanon basics in t...	fishinmama	2	490	Dec 18, 2009 by fishinmama
	I hope you got it; it was supposed to be FUNNY! (Preview) I just want to mention that my last post was supposed to be funny! I was very excited when I wrote it earlier this week. I had a good experience at the dentist really. I am so happy to report any positive things & hope I will get feedback. This week has been better than most. Maybe it is because Christm...	Hoot Nanny	1	741	Dec 18, 2009 by Jerry F
	A GOLD CROWN FOR ME! (Preview) I am so happy to finally have gotten my gold crown last WEDS. I was waiting to get in for a few weeks but couldn't get in. You are saying what does that have to do with Alanon? Here goes: I sat in the dentist's chair for several minutes before he could finally get the crown in. It was rocking & even the d...	Hoot Nanny	2	662	Dec 18, 2009 by Debilyn
	Staying in the now (Preview) I started to read a new book. It talks of staying in the now. That our thinking draws from the past and future. I almost put it down when I started as it difficult for me and a different concept. I read at night to close down my brain. This was making me think, but I thought what the heck. It talks about o...	fishinmama	4	761	Dec 18, 2009 by jasobel
	hurting mom (Preview) This is my first time to post. I'm really lost right now. I have 2 sons that I love very much. D is 21 and b is 20. D went to rehab for 26 days for oxycoti and b does not admit to having a problem. When away to college came home and the last 6 months has been hell. I put both out of the house last night. Both h...	Mom09	6	829	Dec 18, 2009 by grantofour
	The Big Book of AA (Preview) I don't know how many people have ever picked up the Big Book of AA but I bought one many years ago when I belonged to OA. Chapter 5...How it Works...was read at the beginning of every meeting. I will never forget those words as they mean so much more to me today then they ever did at that time. If you get a chan...	Gailey	4	1075	Dec 18, 2009 by Sincerely
	Slipping Big Time (Preview) It finally happened. My husband lost his so-called control over alcohol and didn't come home last night. I called his friend and he said that my husband stayed with them last night and was heading over to the house this morning. What a bunch os BS. If he so innocently stayed there, why didn't he called an...	Priscilla83	3	579	Dec 17, 2009 by blender_girl
	Feelings... (Preview) So I am learning how to feel again after creating the habit of denying them for a REALLY long time. My sponsor and therapist say that I am grieving many things right now. Biggest one being the "dream" of the way I thought things were and should (haha) be. Acceptance that hurt hurt's kind of s...	Ash	3	711	Dec 17, 2009 by maresie
	Do I ask my husband what part in kids lives (Preview) My husband and I have been separated for just over a month. Due to his alcohol use he came home from a bad day and work and took it out on our teenager and made threats to myself, this is not a normal occurance - the violence but the drinking is the norm. The police were called and he was removed and charged...	cmh2009	7	1057	Dec 17, 2009 by cmh2009
	Can anyone here help me make prediction (Preview) I think it has probably been about three years since I last posted. The roller coaster ride I have been on just seems unbelievable to me. I work in adult psychiatric health & work with my share of addictions. I never experienced addictions in my personal life before meeting my now husband. And...	suzydawn	8	1020	Dec 17, 2009 by suzydawn
	Staying connected and out of denial... (Preview) Hitting a bit of fear and panic here guys and gals. And I just got out of a meeting to. The reality of this disease is painful and scary to me. I thought the dui in June that my AH got with our son in the car would have snapped him into recovery (I met him in the program when he supposedly had 12 years - that was 7...	Ash	3	1045	Dec 17, 2009 by Jerry F
	Brand new to all of this (Preview) Hi. My boyfriend of 1 year (2 years of being friends with him) relapsed after 6 years of sobriety a few months ago. Almost two months ago he called things off saying he couldn't handle a relationship considering his state (he's also suffering from depression and anxiety). We were still "talking...	pixie711	4	756	Dec 16, 2009 by Debilyn
	An addict broke into my house! (Preview) I can't believe this happened to me! I am just SO angry!!! Someone broke out the windows in my basement, climbed in, and stole all of the copper pipes in my basement to sell to a scrap metal place to have some money to buy drugs. When I called the police they told me that it is a common crime now, addicts...	MaryPoppins	7	1030	Dec 16, 2009 by neshema2
	TYFS (Preview) Thank you. Your input to my last post has been fantastic and truly appreciated! You opened up your hearts & souls to me and gave me insight into a difficult subject. I now understand much more and also realize the reasons are as numerous as the stars. To those who felt I was being judgmental, my pos...	Hawk120025	1	607	Dec 16, 2009 by Andrea12
	noticing something new....blame.... (Preview) So, within the last 6 months I have seriously addressed my ABF's drinking problem. Of course it's an ongoing issue as I'm sure you can all relate. He has always denied. Always had an excuse and justification for EVERYTHING. I know that this is part of the disease. Well, we got into a fight on Sunday and I...	hopeful923	4	884	Dec 16, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Question about my own alcohol consumption (Preview) I was in an open AA meeting this morning. A fellow al-anon shared that he was angry that particular family members would call his alcoholic before they went out to dinner and ask if she minded if they drank. He was angry that the family members wouldn't give up alcohol for one meal. He said that he had g...	White Rabbit	4	1110	Dec 16, 2009 by Aloha
	Is this a good letter? (Preview) Mum powered away a bunch of drinks at dinner and I've got to set a boundry. Can you tell me what you think of this? Is this healthy? --- Mum, Thanks for giving me the time to write this, I think it's just better to digest stuff and then respond. I got your texts and this isnt about whether of not I love you or try...	jdaniel	2	855	Dec 15, 2009 by hotrod
	Attending a meeting (Preview) Hello, I am looking to attend an Al Anon meeting, and have never been to one before. Can I just show up to one, or do I need to attend a beginners meeting first?	brynnk	5	575	Dec 15, 2009 by Jerry F
	Today I look at fear (Preview) Ok so today I am thinking about fear...I am thinking part of my hang up with let go and let god is fear. fear fear fear...as I reread posts others have written it is extrememly important to overcome our fears to allow growth to flow. I thought about this, this morning. A glance at the past shows me that I h...	fishinmama	3	822	Dec 15, 2009 by Jerry F
	He left again! (Preview) This weekend my alcoholic boyfriend left me yet again. We have been together 2 years, most of the time he has been sober, but this is the third and probably last time. This time he left to live with his parents. He went on a binge 2 months ago and left me to live with another woman who was actively drinking....	jasobel	2	569	Dec 15, 2009 by neshema2
	It's Denial (Preview) Thanks for the responses to "Reaching"...the problem is denial which has its roots firmly planted in my subconscious. I am being reminded of how I got here, what happened and what hasn't been done and why. I understand and need to understand more because of the current situation. So I...	Jerry F	12	964	Dec 15, 2009 by hotrod
	Weekends never fail me (Preview) I won't go into all of the incidents of this past weekend, just the latest that's irritating me. I don't think I reacted correctly and I need some input. Yesterday evening, I was missing $3 from my purse. I normally don't keep cash in there because it seems to walk off on it's own. I called my alcoholic...	Ragdolls	7	546	Dec 15, 2009 by abbyal
	Single parents - how do you get to meetings? (Preview) Hi - I am new to Alanon - well about 2 months. The hardest part for me is getting to meetings. I am a single mom and most meetings are evenings. I work during the day. I can get to one meeting on Sundays when I don't have my daughter - but one meeting a week doesn't seem to do it for me. My boyfriend just left me who...	jasobel	3	766	Dec 15, 2009 by jasobel
	Being unhappy with my Sponsor, Part 2 (Preview) Some of you may recall that I was feeling unhappy with my Sponsor. I felt as though she wasn't listening to me the way I needed her to, that she'd interject and it always seemed like she was waiting on the edge of her seat to speak her mind and experiences, rather than just give the chance to clear out my min...	Rora	3	1920	Dec 15, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Fears. (Preview) My partner and I got into an argument today about Christmas. I know I shouldn't care, but I am really bothered because over Christmas she wants to go and visit her mother, and at her mother's is where all the issues with addiction are. I am highly uncomfortable. Every time I have visited there, there has...	Not2bforgot10	24	1554	Dec 15, 2009 by Not2bforgot10
	How does one Let Go and NOT take it back???? I'd love to hear some ESH on this.... (Preview) During the past two days I have done a lot of reflecting on my personal issues and character "traits" (hate to use the word flaws). I've realized that a lot of my anxiety about my upcoming surgery is more likely than not a product of me NOT being able to be in control.......something I a...	shellyj123	1	894	Dec 15, 2009 by kitty
	Soooooooooo Confused and need help I guess. (Preview) Well I guess abit of history, I have been with an alcholic for the last 4 years. It wasn't completely apparent in the beginning, but the last year or so has been very bad. He has had a couple of stints with rehad, in fact just came out today. He is very positive and really wanting to try. Starts his AADAC...	so confused	5	709	Dec 15, 2009 by wolfpup
	I think I am going to leave.... (Preview) Well, I am still fairly new to this site and this is only my second posting. I have commented once or twice and I read other people's postings. It's comforting to know other people can relate. I know I need to go to Al-ANON meetings. It's just not that easy...with sharing a car and all with my ABF. The last t...	hopeful923	8	971	Dec 15, 2009 by intothewoods
	Desperately Need ESH (Preview) I need help. I actually need strength. I'm tired of dealing w/ my AH , who promises that he will "really work on" cutting his beer drinking down. He still has an alcoholic personality. He still blames me for everything. I am going to start going to f2f meetings next week but I am so frustr...	angel66	4	782	Dec 14, 2009 by maresie
	Blind sided (Preview) Its been along time since I have been here and my story is very long, I will make it short...My husband left last year for two months, went to detox and then a half way house.He also moved in with a woman he met and lived with her for the 4 weeks prior to ending up at my door sick about where he ended up. Had every...	codependent_who_knew	4	909	Dec 14, 2009 by canadianguy
	Reconciling My Heart with My Head - Simple, but NOT Easy (Preview) My head knows my AH is ill. My head knows he is manipulative. My head knows he is fearful and that his fear is driving a lot of his behavior. My head knows I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to. My heart is angry and frustrated that he is not rational and that I can't have a meaningful discussio...	blender_girl	1	635	Dec 14, 2009 by hotrod
	Curious....Sober for the 1st time in 8 .5 years (Preview) My AH has been sober now almost 7 months. This is the 1st time he has been soberin 8.5 years for this long and I know this is WHY he is so UP ON HIMSELF.... and has decided to move out and now wants a divorce. He moved out 2 days ago and is already in a frenzy, cant see the kids, NEEDS a meeting.....really hard on...	codependent_who_knew	3	936	Dec 14, 2009 by Jerry F
	Could use some ESH (Preview) I'm in kind of an unusual position -- I took my codie tendencies to whole new complicated lengths. I had an alcoholic husband, and after a lot of turmoil I realized he wasn't going into recovery and I couldn't take it, and so we split up. I was helped through this by a close friend who was a pillar of AA and...	Mattie	3	551	Dec 14, 2009 by abbyal
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.