Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

fishinmama · fishinmama

As to how I did yesterday...It was a busy day reminding myself to stick to the now. I see how my mind is keeping me stuck in the past. The amount of time I am spending there in sad thoughts or fantasy is amazing. As with anything that is worth while I need to stick to it. I sure see alot of alanon basics in t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just want to mention that my last post was supposed to be funny! I was very excited when I wrote it earlier this week. I had a good experience at the dentist really. I am so happy to report any positive things & hope I will get feedback. This week has been better than most. Maybe it is because Christm...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so happy to finally have gotten my gold crown last WEDS. I was waiting to get in for a few weeks but couldn't get in. You are saying what does that have to do with Alanon? Here goes: I sat in the dentist's chair for several minutes before he could finally get the crown in. It was rocking & even the d...

fishinmama · fishinmama

I started to read a new book. It talks of staying in the now. That our thinking draws from the past and future. I almost put it down when I started as it difficult for me and a different concept. I read at night to close down my brain. This was making me think, but I thought what the heck. It talks about o...

Mom09 · Mom09

This is my first time to post. I'm really lost right now. I have 2 sons that I love very much. D is 21 and b is 20. D went to rehab for 26 days for oxycoti and b does not admit to having a problem. When away to college came home and the last 6 months has been hell. I put both out of the house last night. Both h...

Gailey · Gailey

I don't know how many people have ever picked up the Big Book of AA but I bought one many years ago when I belonged to OA. Chapter 5...How it Works...was read at the beginning of every meeting. I will never forget those words as they mean so much more to me today then they ever did at that time. If you get a chan...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

It finally happened. My husband lost his so-called control over alcohol and didn't come home last night. I called his friend and he said that my husband stayed with them last night and was heading over to the house this morning. What a bunch os BS. If he so innocently stayed there, why didn't he called an...

Ash · Ash

So I am learning how to feel again after creating the habit of denying them for a REALLY long time. My sponsor and therapist say that I am grieving many things right now. Biggest one being the "dream" of the way I thought things were and should (haha) be. Acceptance that hurt hurt's kind of s...

cmh2009 · cmh2009

My husband and I have been separated for just over a month. Due to his alcohol use he came home from a bad day and work and took it out on our teenager and made threats to myself, this is not a normal occurance - the violence but the drinking is the norm. The police were called and he was removed and charged...

suzydawn · suzydawn

I think it has probably been about three years since I last posted. The roller coaster ride I have been on just seems unbelievable to me. I work in adult psychiatric health & work with my share of addictions. I never experienced addictions in my personal life before meeting my now husband. And...

Ash · Ash

Hitting a bit of fear and panic here guys and gals. And I just got out of a meeting to. The reality of this disease is painful and scary to me. I thought the dui in June that my AH got with our son in the car would have snapped him into recovery (I met him in the program when he supposedly had 12 years - that was 7...

pixie711 · pixie711

Hi. My boyfriend of 1 year (2 years of being friends with him) relapsed after 6 years of sobriety a few months ago. Almost two months ago he called things off saying he couldn't handle a relationship considering his state (he's also suffering from depression and anxiety). We were still "talking...

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

I can't believe this happened to me! I am just SO angry!!! Someone broke out the windows in my basement, climbed in, and stole all of the copper pipes in my basement to sell to a scrap metal place to have some money to buy drugs. When I called the police they told me that it is a common crime now, addicts...

Hawk120025 · Hawk120025

Thank you. Your input to my last post has been fantastic and truly appreciated! You opened up your hearts & souls to me and gave me insight into a difficult subject. I now understand much more and also realize the reasons are as numerous as the stars. To those who felt I was being judgmental, my pos...

hopeful923 · hopeful923

So, within the last 6 months I have seriously addressed my ABF's drinking problem. Of course it's an ongoing issue as I'm sure you can all relate. He has always denied. Always had an excuse and justification for EVERYTHING. I know that this is part of the disease. Well, we got into a fight on Sunday and I...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I was in an open AA meeting this morning. A fellow al-anon shared that he was angry that particular family members would call his alcoholic before they went out to dinner and ask if she minded if they drank. He was angry that the family members wouldn't give up alcohol for one meal. He said that he had g...

jdaniel · jdaniel

Mum powered away a bunch of drinks at dinner and I've got to set a boundry. Can you tell me what you think of this? Is this healthy? --- Mum, Thanks for giving me the time to write this, I think it's just better to digest stuff and then respond. I got your texts and this isnt about whether of not I love you or try...

brynnk · brynnk

Hello, I am looking to attend an Al Anon meeting, and have never been to one before. Can I just show up to one, or do I need to attend a beginners meeting first?

fishinmama · fishinmama

Ok so today I am thinking about fear...I am thinking part of my hang up with let go and let god is fear. fear fear fear...as I reread posts others have written it is extrememly important to overcome our fears to allow growth to flow. I thought about this, this morning. A glance at the past shows me that I h...

jasobel · jasobel

This weekend my alcoholic boyfriend left me yet again. We have been together 2 years, most of the time he has been sober, but this is the third and probably last time. This time he left to live with his parents. He went on a binge 2 months ago and left me to live with another woman who was actively drinking....

Jerry F · Jerry F

Thanks for the responses to "Reaching"...the problem is denial which has its roots firmly planted in my subconscious. I am being reminded of how I got here, what happened and what hasn't been done and why. I understand and need to understand more because of the current situation. So I...

Ragdolls · Ragdolls

I won't go into all of the incidents of this past weekend, just the latest that's irritating me. I don't think I reacted correctly and I need some input. Yesterday evening, I was missing $3 from my purse. I normally don't keep cash in there because it seems to walk off on it's own. I called my alcoholic...

jasobel · jasobel

Hi - I am new to Alanon - well about 2 months. The hardest part for me is getting to meetings. I am a single mom and most meetings are evenings. I work during the day. I can get to one meeting on Sundays when I don't have my daughter - but one meeting a week doesn't seem to do it for me. My boyfriend just left me who...

Rora · Rora

Some of you may recall that I was feeling unhappy with my Sponsor. I felt as though she wasn't listening to me the way I needed her to, that she'd interject and it always seemed like she was waiting on the edge of her seat to speak her mind and experiences, rather than just give the chance to clear out my min...

Not2bforgot10 · Not2bforgot10

My partner and I got into an argument today about Christmas. I know I shouldn't care, but I am really bothered because over Christmas she wants to go and visit her mother, and at her mother's is where all the issues with addiction are. I am highly uncomfortable. Every time I have visited there, there has...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

During the past two days I have done a lot of reflecting on my personal issues and character "traits" (hate to use the word flaws). I've realized that a lot of my anxiety about my upcoming surgery is more likely than not a product of me NOT being able to be in control.......something I a...

so confused · so confused

Well I guess abit of history, I have been with an alcholic for the last 4 years. It wasn't completely apparent in the beginning, but the last year or so has been very bad. He has had a couple of stints with rehad, in fact just came out today. He is very positive and really wanting to try. Starts his AADAC...

hopeful923 · hopeful923

Well, I am still fairly new to this site and this is only my second posting. I have commented once or twice and I read other people's postings. It's comforting to know other people can relate. I know I need to go to Al-ANON meetings. It's just not that easy...with sharing a car and all with my ABF. The last t...

angel66 · angel66

I need help. I actually need strength. I'm tired of dealing w/ my AH , who promises that he will "really work on" cutting his beer drinking down. He still has an alcoholic personality. He still blames me for everything. I am going to start going to f2f meetings next week but I am so frustr...

codependent_who_knew · codependent_who_knew

Its been along time since I have been here and my story is very long, I will make it short...My husband left last year for two months, went to detox and then a half way house.He also moved in with a woman he met and lived with her for the 4 weeks prior to ending up at my door sick about where he ended up. Had every...

blender_girl · blender_girl

My head knows my AH is ill. My head knows he is manipulative. My head knows he is fearful and that his fear is driving a lot of his behavior. My head knows I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to. My heart is angry and frustrated that he is not rational and that I can't have a meaningful discussio...

codependent_who_knew · codependent_who_knew

My AH has been sober now almost 7 months. This is the 1st time he has been soberin 8.5 years for this long and I know this is WHY he is so UP ON HIMSELF.... and has decided to move out and now wants a divorce. He moved out 2 days ago and is already in a frenzy, cant see the kids, NEEDS a meeting.....really hard on...

Mattie · Mattie

I'm in kind of an unusual position -- I took my codie tendencies to whole new complicated lengths. I had an alcoholic husband, and after a lot of turmoil I realized he wasn't going into recovery and I couldn't take it, and so we split up. I was helped through this by a close friend who was a pillar of AA and...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Especially from the old timer but open to the whole group...Share with me your awarenesses and experiences with denial as you understand it. Please... Mahalo in advance. (((((hugs)))))

inhisarms · inhisarms

So as follow up of my last post, my abf got out of jail yesterday. I went and paid for a hotel for him so he would have a place to sleep until today when he was leaving to treatment and sober living in another town. I talked tohim briefly this morning, to tell him I loved him but not who he was when he used. Tha...

Diva · Diva

Once in a while, as all of you know, I have a bit of a disagreement with one or two of the tenets of AlAnon. Just once in a great while, I ask a question, in all sincerity, hoping all of my family here can enlighten me so that I will see the reasoning. Most times I do; sometimes I do not. I asked yesterday about...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I just received the call after my moring meeting. My spouse and her family have just finished attending to the passing of their mother Olivia and she will be returning to the care of her own when the immediate needs are taken care of. This morning's meeting was on the 11th step. "Sought thru p...

Tracy · Tracy

I find this so hard to do!! I am starting to realsie how much I blame the drinker for, how I whip his self esteem. when I have these realizations i feel terrible about myself. I think I must get away from him LOOK WHAT I AM DOING TO HIM AND HE IS SICK. I really really need to get the focus on me my thoughts, acti...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes weeks come & go but bad days last forever! This is sometimes true for me in my mind--the sick part! I am resigned to the fact that some days are just bad! I know I can start my day over but sometimes I just don't want to. I want to wallow in the sickness of it; you know what I mean? I haven't gotte...

Jerry F · Jerry F

God this program works on you when you work on it. Saturday Morning and the wife has been gone for a week and not because I've had anything to do with it and the pups miss her (I think they do anyway...how do pups show they miss anyone who isn't there when they got you?) but seem to be fine using my body heat at...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Well I went to a meeting last night. cried my way there and home. On the way home though, I had a break through for me. I looked at my thinking with the ex and how I threw him out. The truth was shown to me. My heartbreak? It comes from the backfire of my manipulations. I see now that when I threw him out,...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Danz, I hope you have a very happy birthday and that your day is blessed! Happy Birthday sweet lady! Mandy

gknee · gknee

Hi everyone- Its been a tumultuous week at the homestead- to say the least. My AH lost his job of 18 years on Thursday-- the direct result of drinking and drugging and not going to work. They kept him on because he was a good producer but once his business dried up (and he didn't) they were done with him.I ha...

Becky · Becky

I am new to this source...new to a lot of things as I am finding out. I moved up to NC from FL last year to be with someone who made me happy. As time has gone on, I have found out what his true self is like. He is an angry alcoholic. One who snaps at a split second notice, one who says the most degrading things to m...

FlyingSquirrel · FlyingSquirrel

===========================================================Good night. Thank you for helping me get through it, even if it was in my own disfunct...

inhisarms · inhisarms

It has been a week today since XABF was throwin in jail for breaking into my house. Has been a tough week, murphy's law i guess. Everything went wrong this week and I mean I was on overdrive. Work was tough, kids were acting out, even my dog ran away twice. I thought I would be commited. Well, I still got up...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, Tonight is the first night of Chanukah and for all of those out there that celebrate it I wish you a great week. I can't wait to make the latkes for dinner tonight . I am hoping to have a better year than last year. Last year on the last night of Chanukah I almost set the house of fire. It was an almost...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

Hi. I'm Carol and my husband and I live with an a friend. He is sober now, but we are still dealing with issues. the good news is I have learned to be on my own and do things/take care of myself without his help anymore. This way, he is more likely to be able to help me. And I can help him when I am taken care of m...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

Hi ... I'm new and this is my first post here. I'm not new to alcoholism. My mom is still an active alcoholic (she was for the majority of my childhood), my ex husband is an alcoholic, and my new husband is in recovery. That's a lot of alcoholism. I've been going to f2f Al Anon meetings for about a year and...

Diva · Diva

Just what COULD happen during detox? THis is a serious question; as most of you know, I had no experience with alcoholism or alcoholics before I became involved with former husband - now partner. His binges last anywhere from three days to a week, and the alcohol he consumes during this time is enorm...

Shaina · Shaina

My fiance has been sober for 6 months. We havent been intimate for 5 months. We always give a quick kiss when we see each other and quick kiss and hug when we leave. No matter if its 5 times a day. When I spent the night after a long trip, the next morning he wanted to do something fun. We got up and went fis...

Ragdolls · Ragdolls

I've been in a funk all day. I'm sure it has to do with lots of things but these are the things directly bothering me and I need to vent. Last night I woke up as my AFiance was digging in my purse for a lighter (so he says) to have a cigarette. Yes, I sleep with my purse by the bed now. If it makes me feel better,...

ARSK · ARSK

My first posting My ExABF was an immature alcoholic. This was a new one for me. I had the abusive ABF and an abusive A stepfather. SO I thought I was doing well. This guy drinks but hes a fun alcoholic, later to come to find a functional alcoholic as well. I had some how stayed away from dating anything r...

QOD · QOD

I think the subject line just about sums it up!!!! Wow! Stress of life, of the holidays, of financial woes, of the A's in my life! Calgon take me away!

Dyinginside · Dyinginside

I've tried and tried again, but I just can't NOT react to my ABF who is now sober, but who is just so irrational. I have tried to say to myself 'Ok, it's his illness, he's just learning how to cope with this world without a drink etc"......... But howmuch longer should I blame his rotting brain and may...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Sorry I haven't been here much recently. I have been reading here and there and trying to keep up somewhat, but honestly don't feel I have anything to offer anyone right now. The past month has been so crazy, and I am fighting major depression daily. I'm sure it involves the time of year, missing what I t...

jasobel · jasobel

I felt like I was doing pretty good with my alanon program, detaching from my AS's behavior, letting go and letting god, coping with my obsessive thoughts, not worrying so much about him, taking control over my own self care and my own life. Then a close friend who has cancer found out her cancer is back....

Jerry F · Jerry F

Wednesday Night Turning Point Al-Anon Family Group...home meeting for me and to night very special as one of the members did the meeting on the subject of fear. It very quickly became fear using the tools of meditation and prayer. I am soooo grateful again for that meeting subject because of the memb...

Rora · Rora

I'm trying to figure out my being unhappy with my Sponsor. First, I think she talks too much ... about herself. I feel like when I am trying to discuss how I feel, she is looking at me, but waiting for the moment that she can jump in with a response. And sometimes my ideas are incomplete, then I have to int...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

As I posted a few weeks ago my husband relapsed. He is drinkng again, but since he hasn't done drugs yet he thinks he's in total control. He is obviously not, he drinks a lot, I guess he thinks normal people drink 6 days a week and have a glass of wine while cutting their hair I'm pissed right know cause he cam...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Staying in the now --part 2 (Preview) As to how I did yesterday...It was a busy day reminding myself to stick to the now. I see how my mind is keeping me stuck in the past. The amount of time I am spending there in sad thoughts or fantasy is amazing. As with anything that is worth while I need to stick to it. I sure see alot of alanon basics in t...	fishinmama	2	420	Dec 18, 2009 by fishinmama
	I hope you got it; it was supposed to be FUNNY! (Preview) I just want to mention that my last post was supposed to be funny! I was very excited when I wrote it earlier this week. I had a good experience at the dentist really. I am so happy to report any positive things & hope I will get feedback. This week has been better than most. Maybe it is because Christm...	Hoot Nanny	1	669	Dec 18, 2009 by Jerry F
	A GOLD CROWN FOR ME! (Preview) I am so happy to finally have gotten my gold crown last WEDS. I was waiting to get in for a few weeks but couldn't get in. You are saying what does that have to do with Alanon? Here goes: I sat in the dentist's chair for several minutes before he could finally get the crown in. It was rocking & even the d...	Hoot Nanny	2	594	Dec 18, 2009 by Debilyn
	Staying in the now (Preview) I started to read a new book. It talks of staying in the now. That our thinking draws from the past and future. I almost put it down when I started as it difficult for me and a different concept. I read at night to close down my brain. This was making me think, but I thought what the heck. It talks about o...	fishinmama	4	690	Dec 18, 2009 by jasobel
	hurting mom (Preview) This is my first time to post. I'm really lost right now. I have 2 sons that I love very much. D is 21 and b is 20. D went to rehab for 26 days for oxycoti and b does not admit to having a problem. When away to college came home and the last 6 months has been hell. I put both out of the house last night. Both h...	Mom09	6	760	Dec 18, 2009 by grantofour
	The Big Book of AA (Preview) I don't know how many people have ever picked up the Big Book of AA but I bought one many years ago when I belonged to OA. Chapter 5...How it Works...was read at the beginning of every meeting. I will never forget those words as they mean so much more to me today then they ever did at that time. If you get a chan...	Gailey	4	993	Dec 18, 2009 by Sincerely
	Slipping Big Time (Preview) It finally happened. My husband lost his so-called control over alcohol and didn't come home last night. I called his friend and he said that my husband stayed with them last night and was heading over to the house this morning. What a bunch os BS. If he so innocently stayed there, why didn't he called an...	Priscilla83	3	514	Dec 17, 2009 by blender_girl
	Feelings... (Preview) So I am learning how to feel again after creating the habit of denying them for a REALLY long time. My sponsor and therapist say that I am grieving many things right now. Biggest one being the "dream" of the way I thought things were and should (haha) be. Acceptance that hurt hurt's kind of s...	Ash	3	647	Dec 17, 2009 by maresie
	Do I ask my husband what part in kids lives (Preview) My husband and I have been separated for just over a month. Due to his alcohol use he came home from a bad day and work and took it out on our teenager and made threats to myself, this is not a normal occurance - the violence but the drinking is the norm. The police were called and he was removed and charged...	cmh2009	7	975	Dec 17, 2009 by cmh2009
	Can anyone here help me make prediction (Preview) I think it has probably been about three years since I last posted. The roller coaster ride I have been on just seems unbelievable to me. I work in adult psychiatric health & work with my share of addictions. I never experienced addictions in my personal life before meeting my now husband. And...	suzydawn	8	924	Dec 17, 2009 by suzydawn
	Staying connected and out of denial... (Preview) Hitting a bit of fear and panic here guys and gals. And I just got out of a meeting to. The reality of this disease is painful and scary to me. I thought the dui in June that my AH got with our son in the car would have snapped him into recovery (I met him in the program when he supposedly had 12 years - that was 7...	Ash	3	981	Dec 17, 2009 by Jerry F
	Brand new to all of this (Preview) Hi. My boyfriend of 1 year (2 years of being friends with him) relapsed after 6 years of sobriety a few months ago. Almost two months ago he called things off saying he couldn't handle a relationship considering his state (he's also suffering from depression and anxiety). We were still "talking...	pixie711	4	684	Dec 16, 2009 by Debilyn
	An addict broke into my house! (Preview) I can't believe this happened to me! I am just SO angry!!! Someone broke out the windows in my basement, climbed in, and stole all of the copper pipes in my basement to sell to a scrap metal place to have some money to buy drugs. When I called the police they told me that it is a common crime now, addicts...	MaryPoppins	7	955	Dec 16, 2009 by neshema2
	TYFS (Preview) Thank you. Your input to my last post has been fantastic and truly appreciated! You opened up your hearts & souls to me and gave me insight into a difficult subject. I now understand much more and also realize the reasons are as numerous as the stars. To those who felt I was being judgmental, my pos...	Hawk120025	1	541	Dec 16, 2009 by Andrea12
	noticing something new....blame.... (Preview) So, within the last 6 months I have seriously addressed my ABF's drinking problem. Of course it's an ongoing issue as I'm sure you can all relate. He has always denied. Always had an excuse and justification for EVERYTHING. I know that this is part of the disease. Well, we got into a fight on Sunday and I...	hopeful923	4	810	Dec 16, 2009 by Priscilla83
	Question about my own alcohol consumption (Preview) I was in an open AA meeting this morning. A fellow al-anon shared that he was angry that particular family members would call his alcoholic before they went out to dinner and ask if she minded if they drank. He was angry that the family members wouldn't give up alcohol for one meal. He said that he had g...	White Rabbit	4	1027	Dec 16, 2009 by Aloha
	Is this a good letter? (Preview) Mum powered away a bunch of drinks at dinner and I've got to set a boundry. Can you tell me what you think of this? Is this healthy? --- Mum, Thanks for giving me the time to write this, I think it's just better to digest stuff and then respond. I got your texts and this isnt about whether of not I love you or try...	jdaniel	2	768	Dec 15, 2009 by hotrod
	Attending a meeting (Preview) Hello, I am looking to attend an Al Anon meeting, and have never been to one before. Can I just show up to one, or do I need to attend a beginners meeting first?	brynnk	5	505	Dec 15, 2009 by Jerry F
	Today I look at fear (Preview) Ok so today I am thinking about fear...I am thinking part of my hang up with let go and let god is fear. fear fear fear...as I reread posts others have written it is extrememly important to overcome our fears to allow growth to flow. I thought about this, this morning. A glance at the past shows me that I h...	fishinmama	3	760	Dec 15, 2009 by Jerry F
	He left again! (Preview) This weekend my alcoholic boyfriend left me yet again. We have been together 2 years, most of the time he has been sober, but this is the third and probably last time. This time he left to live with his parents. He went on a binge 2 months ago and left me to live with another woman who was actively drinking....	jasobel	2	504	Dec 15, 2009 by neshema2
	It's Denial (Preview) Thanks for the responses to "Reaching"...the problem is denial which has its roots firmly planted in my subconscious. I am being reminded of how I got here, what happened and what hasn't been done and why. I understand and need to understand more because of the current situation. So I...	Jerry F	12	897	Dec 15, 2009 by hotrod
	Weekends never fail me (Preview) I won't go into all of the incidents of this past weekend, just the latest that's irritating me. I don't think I reacted correctly and I need some input. Yesterday evening, I was missing $3 from my purse. I normally don't keep cash in there because it seems to walk off on it's own. I called my alcoholic...	Ragdolls	7	472	Dec 15, 2009 by abbyal
	Single parents - how do you get to meetings? (Preview) Hi - I am new to Alanon - well about 2 months. The hardest part for me is getting to meetings. I am a single mom and most meetings are evenings. I work during the day. I can get to one meeting on Sundays when I don't have my daughter - but one meeting a week doesn't seem to do it for me. My boyfriend just left me who...	jasobel	3	687	Dec 15, 2009 by jasobel
	Being unhappy with my Sponsor, Part 2 (Preview) Some of you may recall that I was feeling unhappy with my Sponsor. I felt as though she wasn't listening to me the way I needed her to, that she'd interject and it always seemed like she was waiting on the edge of her seat to speak her mind and experiences, rather than just give the chance to clear out my min...	Rora	3	1844	Dec 15, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Fears. (Preview) My partner and I got into an argument today about Christmas. I know I shouldn't care, but I am really bothered because over Christmas she wants to go and visit her mother, and at her mother's is where all the issues with addiction are. I am highly uncomfortable. Every time I have visited there, there has...	Not2bforgot10	24	1482	Dec 15, 2009 by Not2bforgot10
	How does one Let Go and NOT take it back???? I'd love to hear some ESH on this.... (Preview) During the past two days I have done a lot of reflecting on my personal issues and character "traits" (hate to use the word flaws). I've realized that a lot of my anxiety about my upcoming surgery is more likely than not a product of me NOT being able to be in control.......something I a...	shellyj123	1	802	Dec 15, 2009 by kitty
	Soooooooooo Confused and need help I guess. (Preview) Well I guess abit of history, I have been with an alcholic for the last 4 years. It wasn't completely apparent in the beginning, but the last year or so has been very bad. He has had a couple of stints with rehad, in fact just came out today. He is very positive and really wanting to try. Starts his AADAC...	so confused	5	636	Dec 15, 2009 by wolfpup
	I think I am going to leave.... (Preview) Well, I am still fairly new to this site and this is only my second posting. I have commented once or twice and I read other people's postings. It's comforting to know other people can relate. I know I need to go to Al-ANON meetings. It's just not that easy...with sharing a car and all with my ABF. The last t...	hopeful923	8	895	Dec 15, 2009 by intothewoods
	Desperately Need ESH (Preview) I need help. I actually need strength. I'm tired of dealing w/ my AH , who promises that he will "really work on" cutting his beer drinking down. He still has an alcoholic personality. He still blames me for everything. I am going to start going to f2f meetings next week but I am so frustr...	angel66	4	701	Dec 14, 2009 by maresie
	Blind sided (Preview) Its been along time since I have been here and my story is very long, I will make it short...My husband left last year for two months, went to detox and then a half way house.He also moved in with a woman he met and lived with her for the 4 weeks prior to ending up at my door sick about where he ended up. Had every...	codependent_who_knew	4	846	Dec 14, 2009 by canadianguy
	Reconciling My Heart with My Head - Simple, but NOT Easy (Preview) My head knows my AH is ill. My head knows he is manipulative. My head knows he is fearful and that his fear is driving a lot of his behavior. My head knows I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to. My heart is angry and frustrated that he is not rational and that I can't have a meaningful discussio...	blender_girl	1	567	Dec 14, 2009 by hotrod
	Curious....Sober for the 1st time in 8 .5 years (Preview) My AH has been sober now almost 7 months. This is the 1st time he has been soberin 8.5 years for this long and I know this is WHY he is so UP ON HIMSELF.... and has decided to move out and now wants a divorce. He moved out 2 days ago and is already in a frenzy, cant see the kids, NEEDS a meeting.....really hard on...	codependent_who_knew	3	854	Dec 14, 2009 by Jerry F
	Could use some ESH (Preview) I'm in kind of an unusual position -- I took my codie tendencies to whole new complicated lengths. I had an alcoholic husband, and after a lot of turmoil I realized he wasn't going into recovery and I couldn't take it, and so we split up. I was helped through this by a close friend who was a pillar of AA and...	Mattie	3	491	Dec 14, 2009 by abbyal
	Reaching again... (Preview) Especially from the old timer but open to the whole group...Share with me your awarenesses and experiences with denial as you understand it. Please... Mahalo in advance. (((((hugs)))))	Jerry F	10	934	Dec 14, 2009 by canadianguy
	After tears and sadness , now im mad rollercoaster is a ride I hate (Preview) So as follow up of my last post, my abf got out of jail yesterday. I went and paid for a hotel for him so he would have a place to sleep until today when he was leaving to treatment and sober living in another town. I talked tohim briefly this morning, to tell him I loved him but not who he was when he used. Tha...	inhisarms	5	842	Dec 14, 2009 by wildthang86
	Deleting posts..... (Preview) Once in a while, as all of you know, I have a bit of a disagreement with one or two of the tenets of AlAnon. Just once in a great while, I ask a question, in all sincerity, hoping all of my family here can enlighten me so that I will see the reasoning. Most times I do; sometimes I do not. I asked yesterday about...	Diva	14	1047	Dec 14, 2009 by LarryWhiteford
	Life continues (Preview) I just received the call after my moring meeting. My spouse and her family have just finished attending to the passing of their mother Olivia and she will be returning to the care of her own when the immediate needs are taken care of. This morning's meeting was on the 11th step. "Sought thru p...	Jerry F	9	866	Dec 14, 2009 by blender_girl
	focusing on self pick up the mirror (Preview) I find this so hard to do!! I am starting to realsie how much I blame the drinker for, how I whip his self esteem. when I have these realizations i feel terrible about myself. I think I must get away from him LOOK WHAT I AM DOING TO HIM AND HE IS SICK. I really really need to get the focus on me my thoughts, acti...	Tracy	3	767	Dec 13, 2009 by Jerry F
	WHAT IS A WEEK WITHOUT A FEW BAD DAYS! (Preview) Sometimes weeks come & go but bad days last forever! This is sometimes true for me in my mind--the sick part! I am resigned to the fact that some days are just bad! I know I can start my day over but sometimes I just don't want to. I want to wallow in the sickness of it; you know what I mean? I haven't gotte...	Hoot Nanny	1	662	Dec 13, 2009 by Jerry F
	I'd Like to complain but forgot how anymore.... (Preview) God this program works on you when you work on it. Saturday Morning and the wife has been gone for a week and not because I've had anything to do with it and the pups miss her (I think they do anyway...how do pups show they miss anyone who isn't there when they got you?) but seem to be fine using my body heat at...	Jerry F	5	1318	Dec 13, 2009 by Loupiness
	I got some new alanon glasses last night...I saw myself (Preview) Well I went to a meeting last night. cried my way there and home. On the way home though, I had a break through for me. I looked at my thinking with the ex and how I threw him out. The truth was shown to me. My heartbreak? It comes from the backfire of my manipulations. I see now that when I threw him out,...	fishinmama	2	623	Dec 13, 2009 by hotrod
	Happy Birthday Danz123 (Preview) Danz, I hope you have a very happy birthday and that your day is blessed! Happy Birthday sweet lady! Mandy	Mandy123	7	898	Dec 13, 2009 by Andrea12
	fall out of logical consequences (Preview) Hi everyone- Its been a tumultuous week at the homestead- to say the least. My AH lost his job of 18 years on Thursday-- the direct result of drinking and drugging and not going to work. They kept him on because he was a good producer but once his business dried up (and he didn't) they were done with him.I ha...	gknee	2	915	Dec 12, 2009 by Jerry F
	Help (Preview) I am new to this source...new to a lot of things as I am finding out. I moved up to NC from FL last year to be with someone who made me happy. As time has gone on, I have found out what his true self is like. He is an angry alcoholic. One who snaps at a split second notice, one who says the most degrading things to m...	Becky	4	773	Dec 12, 2009 by gknee
	Analyze THIS! (Preview) ===========================================================Good night. Thank you for helping me get through it, even if it was in my own disfunct...	FlyingSquirrel	6	832	Dec 12, 2009 by Rora
	I am doing too well, it scares me (Preview) It has been a week today since XABF was throwin in jail for breaking into my house. Has been a tough week, murphy's law i guess. Everything went wrong this week and I mean I was on overdrive. Work was tough, kids were acting out, even my dog ran away twice. I thought I would be commited. Well, I still got up...	inhisarms	2	876	Dec 12, 2009 by kitty
	Happy Chanukah (Preview) Hi family, Tonight is the first night of Chanukah and for all of those out there that celebrate it I wish you a great week. I can't wait to make the latkes for dinner tonight . I am hoping to have a better year than last year. Last year on the last night of Chanukah I almost set the house of fire. It was an almost...	Mandy123	6	661	Dec 12, 2009 by Karilynn
	hello :) (Preview) Hi. I'm Carol and my husband and I live with an a friend. He is sober now, but we are still dealing with issues. the good news is I have learned to be on my own and do things/take care of myself without his help anymore. This way, he is more likely to be able to help me. And I can help him when I am taken care of m...	Carol_Lynn	3	730	Dec 11, 2009 by Carol_Lynn
	New and could use some of your ESH (Preview) Hi ... I'm new and this is my first post here. I'm not new to alcoholism. My mom is still an active alcoholic (she was for the majority of my childhood), my ex husband is an alcoholic, and my new husband is in recovery. That's a lot of alcoholism. I've been going to f2f Al Anon meetings for about a year and...	White Rabbit	5	797	Dec 11, 2009 by White Rabbit
	question about detox... (Preview) Just what COULD happen during detox? THis is a serious question; as most of you know, I had no experience with alcoholism or alcoholics before I became involved with former husband - now partner. His binges last anywhere from three days to a week, and the alcohol he consumes during this time is enorm...	Diva	9	703	Dec 11, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Dry Drunks and Affection (Preview) My fiance has been sober for 6 months. We havent been intimate for 5 months. We always give a quick kiss when we see each other and quick kiss and hug when we leave. No matter if its 5 times a day. When I spent the night after a long trip, the next morning he wanted to do something fun. We got up and went fis...	Shaina	8	1045	Dec 11, 2009 by Shaina
	In a funk today (Preview) I've been in a funk all day. I'm sure it has to do with lots of things but these are the things directly bothering me and I need to vent. Last night I woke up as my AFiance was digging in my purse for a lighter (so he says) to have a cigarette. Yes, I sleep with my purse by the bed now. If it makes me feel better,...	Ragdolls	5	762	Dec 11, 2009 by phoenix
	New to this site (Preview) My first posting My ExABF was an immature alcoholic. This was a new one for me. I had the abusive ABF and an abusive A stepfather. SO I thought I was doing well. This guy drinks but hes a fun alcoholic, later to come to find a functional alcoholic as well. I had some how stayed away from dating anything r...	ARSK	3	686	Dec 11, 2009 by ARSK
	Oh the Stress!!! (Preview) I think the subject line just about sums it up!!!! Wow! Stress of life, of the holidays, of financial woes, of the A's in my life! Calgon take me away!	QOD	2	670	Dec 11, 2009 by QOD
	IMPOSSIBLE not to react!!!!!!!! (Preview) I've tried and tried again, but I just can't NOT react to my ABF who is now sober, but who is just so irrational. I have tried to say to myself 'Ok, it's his illness, he's just learning how to cope with this world without a drink etc"......... But howmuch longer should I blame his rotting brain and may...	Dyinginside	9	1153	Dec 11, 2009 by Dyinginside
	I really just want to give up........I don't know how much more I can handle.... (Preview) Sorry I haven't been here much recently. I have been reading here and there and trying to keep up somewhat, but honestly don't feel I have anything to offer anyone right now. The past month has been so crazy, and I am fighting major depression daily. I'm sure it involves the time of year, missing what I t...	shellyj123	2	936	Dec 10, 2009 by Aloha
	Finding peace in the program in a c (Preview) I felt like I was doing pretty good with my alanon program, detaching from my AS's behavior, letting go and letting god, coping with my obsessive thoughts, not worrying so much about him, taking control over my own self care and my own life. Then a close friend who has cancer found out her cancer is back....	jasobel	2	932	Dec 10, 2009 by jasobel
	The meeting was on fear... (Preview) Wednesday Night Turning Point Al-Anon Family Group...home meeting for me and to night very special as one of the members did the meeting on the subject of fear. It very quickly became fear using the tools of meditation and prayer. I am soooo grateful again for that meeting subject because of the memb...	Jerry F	5	1483	Dec 10, 2009 by Maria123
	I'm unhappy with my Sponsor... (Preview) I'm trying to figure out my being unhappy with my Sponsor. First, I think she talks too much ... about herself. I feel like when I am trying to discuss how I feel, she is looking at me, but waiting for the moment that she can jump in with a response. And sometimes my ideas are incomplete, then I have to int...	Rora	7	1123	Dec 10, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Tired (Preview) As I posted a few weeks ago my husband relapsed. He is drinkng again, but since he hasn't done drugs yet he thinks he's in total control. He is obviously not, he drinks a lot, I guess he thinks normal people drink 6 days a week and have a glass of wine while cutting their hair I'm pissed right know cause he cam...	Priscilla83	6	775	Dec 10, 2009 by blender_girl
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.