The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
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I find this so hard to do!! I am starting to realsie how much I blame the drinker for, how I whip his self esteem. when I have these realizations i feel terrible about myself. I think I must get away from him LOOK WHAT I AM DOING TO HIM AND HE IS SICK.
I really really need to get the focus on me my thoughts, actions behavior. I have done a step 4 but have not done step 5. I am planning to do this after the holidays with my sponsor and really start to change the things I can. I do not know what the future holds for me and the drinker. He is sober today and is focusing on himself his last slip seems to have been a rock bottom for the both of us. It has causes me pain but on the lighter side I think it has given me a little push that i needed as i was standing still in my recovery. Just going to contact HP as much as I can and try and have the courage to keep looking in the mirror. I can not believe how this disease and other disease in the past in people I love have brought out the worst in me. Well I can change me and from today I committ to try my best, wish me luck I am going to need it!!!
hugs
-- Edited by Tracy on Sunday 13th of December 2009 02:17:14 PM
(((( tracy )))) forgive yourself and love you like ur own best friend, keep working it! you are in a great place right now bc u can make these changes. focus on YOU and detach with love from others' actions, issues, feelings. staying in this moment allows me to stay tuned in to HP & be open to unlimited possibilities. then remember to keep detaching with love & giving them over to HP/god. all i can do or am supposed to do, is me.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
Tracy, I am going through the same thing today! I feel horrible about some of the things Ihave said in the past to my XABF. Kinda like kick a dog when he is down. I too have to face it that I played a part in the insanity and i am writing down all the things i said i regret. Tonight i am releasing those things for my sanity and burning the paper in the fire. Just like them we have to work on us and cant keep feeling guilt or we will not get better. Today is a new day, love yourself! You are worth it!
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What progress, you ask, have I made? I have begun to be a friend to myself. Hecato, Greek philosopher
Are those a couple of Aha!! moments from the family? Sounds like I'm on the Discovery Channel of MIP. When I found out how I treated my alcoholic it made me sick. I made the apology and I've made the amend and part of the help that the amend has is that the memory of it makes me sick. There was and is no justification for how I treated her. Thanks for the Aha moment. (((hugs)))
