The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
As I posted a few weeks ago my husband relapsed. He is drinkng again, but since he hasn't done drugs yet he thinks he's in total control. He is obviously not, he drinks a lot, I guess he thinks normal people drink 6 days a week and have a glass of wine while cutting their hair
I'm pissed right know cause he came home drunk last nite and told me he's going to the beach this Sunday with his co-workers cause he "needs it" he needs to go snorlkeling and relax cause his life is so damn stressfull. Mine on the other hand, is sooo relaxing. Waking up at 5 to take our daughter to my mom's coming to work for 9 hours and going back to pick her up and driving 4 hours everyday is a piece of cake. Jerk!!!!
I'm still going to meetings and working hard on me and also on dealing with this addict in my life, cause I don't want to separate again. But I feel I'm doind all the hard work. UUGGHH I'm tired!! Honestly is one of those days when I just want to do all the wrong things like call him and yell at him and be mean and freak out and hurt him!!
But instead, I'm letting that go right here right now. And in the car and in my meeting.
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Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
You are doing the right thing. Calling him and yelling you already know will not do anything to make it better, or make him change, it will only cause you to lose your serenity. Going to meetings and not reacting is the best thing you can do for yourself. That is taking care of yourself first and by doing that you will be better able to take care of you and your beautiful child in the picture on your post.
I too am glad youdid not make that call and came here to vent. Being able to vent really helped me to gain clarity on my situation and then decide what I wanted to do. With the busy schedule you have during the week 4 hours driving every day, It certainly sounds as if you too need to relax on weekends.
Try to think of some relaxing activities you can plandfor yourself on the weekend Maybe even a meeting!!
My ESH says this. If you want to yell-- for you-- go ahead and do it. Living with an active addict is too much for me and sometimes I just have to release the pressure. Do I do it every day? No. Does it change anything? No. But sometimes it releases a little steam.
there definitely are better ways to channel your frustration though.
My heart goes out to you and all your hard work. Been there, did that. Now my kids are 13 and 17. I'm still tired and still frustrated but I think I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel....
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In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.- Daniel L. Reardon
I know how to tantrum if you wanna learn Prissy. Tantruming helps and can be fun too. Ever throw one? Remember how? Let's begin now...find a safe, quiet place away from scaring the crud out of the children and where no one from a 911 call can get to you in a very short period of time...Stay away from any breakables and hopefully in the middle of a large uncluttered space. I do back yard and parking lots best. Now compose your self a bit...deep breath and calm your self...let your shoulders slump and your arms dangle loosely at your sides. Ready? NOW!! JUMP UP AND DOWN SWINGING YOUR ARMS AND FIST IN THE AIR WILDLY AND STOMPING YOUR FEET IN PLACE UP AND DOWN...UP AND DOWN AND SCREAM....I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT!!!
Do this no less than 15 seconds to start with. Learners need more time so take the full 15 seconds. (If you are really good at it you will pass out on the 16th second and you don't want to fall down and hurt anything....that's another lesson anyway).
Times up!! stand still again and take another deep breath, let it out and let your shoulders slump with your arms dangling to your side. Lift you head up. Put a smart smile on your face. Straighten your clothes a bit and stroll calmly back into the house...don't go for the refrigerator right away. (that too is another lesson).
Call your sponsor and say..."I'm fine now; were we talking about killing someone? Why would I ever?"
