Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I KNOW meetings help. I KNOW I need to be in the rooms. But why is it so hard to get there? I know I need a program in my life - so why do Iresist giving myself over to it completely? I promise myself I am going to go to a meeting - then I do not go and I beat myself up, lose hope and credibility. I must remember - nothi...

maresie · maresie

One of my new insights is that my family of origin had an attitude of contempt and derision for certain people and that never changed no matter what happened that didn't change. When I come across a person like the ex A who exhibits the same contempt and derision I was hooked in by not being able to accept...

miss lucy · miss lucy

hi everyone. have been so busy studying i havent had chance to pop in for a while. am doing great with my dog trainer course - i have one more test to do and then i am fully qualified! my business is starting to take shape and i have just been accepted as a foster carer for one of the local voluntary rescue org...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I've been thinking a lot the past few days about my family of origin and how dysfunctional it was and still is. My mom seems to want to live in a complete atmosphere of chaos and drama - every day it seems like there's something else that's stressing her out (i.e. a good reason to drink). My stepfather tr...

AmberB · AmberB

I've been married to my husband, a recovering alcoholic for almost 3 years now. While he hasn't had an alcohol slip up for almost year now, he has turned to strong anti-anxiety medications. In August 2008, he took a whole bottle of calanopin and acted drunk the entire night. I called his therapist aft...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I feel as though I keep getting punished over and over again. In the months before my split from my 20 year relationship with my A. I somewhat pushed him away. I did things I'm not proud of and then when he blindsided me and up and left and things spiraled out of control, it was to late. He keeps hitting w...

ayjay · ayjay

As expected, my ex finally got in touch to talk about the baby that is due in a few weeks. He wanted to be there at the birth, and for me to pop round and see him from sometimes. I was kind of going along with it, then after the call it just didn't feel right. Why pop round and see him? He swears there is noone e...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi Eveyone, been having a bit of a tough time my ex ABF is letting himself in my house when my son was in before I got home from work. He was drunk been on a bender for a week. He asked me to take him to the hospital that he wants to go to rehab he wants to die. I took him but really did not want to be there. I rang m...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Hello My Friends, Its been months since I have posted. I'm doing okay. I once again reconciled with my A Hubby and we are experiencing a nice sober marriage. One day at a time! That's all we can do! He is actively working his program through our chruch and I'm taking care of me. We try our best not to i...

Destynee · Destynee

H went into rehab on Wednesday. I had to ask his family for the 250.00 copay because he left us with nothing. My MIL was not told about this, my FIL told me not to say anything (they are divorced). But she ended up paying the copay and sent me a nasty letter and ending it with "tell him we love him and su...

oppida · oppida

Hi I'm new here and new to the understanding that my husband is probably an alcoholic. :( H has always drank. But, it wasn't till recently that I realized that he is a binge drinker and must have a problem. I have not confronted him, as it has not been a problem I have recognized till now. Here is his drinki...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

I've been working really hard lately. I decided to take the afternoon off and visit a couple of stores I like without my children - walk nice and slow down the aisles and enjoy myself, etc. :) It's nice to be able to do this once in a while and to believe that I deserve having some time to myself. It's nic...

MissyPoo · MissyPoo

I have recently started to take actions to show myself how much I love me. Got a new haircut, some nice highlights, some new stylish shoes and some new clothes. This week I joined a gym (with a daycare, so I don't need to depend on AH to watch the kids) and have actually gone twice now. In fact, the kids d...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

I constantly find myself unconsciusly making plans to when my AH gets sober. Then I snap out of it and I remember that maybe that will never happen. But I struggle between facing my reality and giving up hope. I don't know I guess a part of me does not ever want to think that this is the way things will be for...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

Well, I know I posted earlier when I had finally moved out of the house with my ex-A but, I've been here for almost a month and a half and things are harder. Admittedly I have been drinking more, myself - trying to escape the feelings of dissatisfaction with my life. If I have not already shared this before...

CJ recovery · CJ recovery

My pal, I'll call him H, had a lot of stamina despite being some 35 years older than I. From the moment we met, we hit it off. We chummed around together, sailed together, skiid together. We'd have a few beers and soak in the sunset with the wind on our faces, truly enjoying the joys of nature. I knew H...

Destynee · Destynee

He came back last night and asked for help. He made the phone calls last night and this morning. I just drove him there. Strangely, as I was sitting next to him taking him there, I felt nothing. I felt no emotion except relief. Selfish relief. That he wasn't on the streets or his "friends"...

daisygirl · daisygirl

In my heart I love him so much but in my head, I know he can never be the man I need him to be. So, why does my heart and mind have to have this struggle? Since my last post, so much has happened. We had another heart to heart talk. I asked him to quit for 30 days, to prove to himself and me that he could do it. He...

sdisnie · sdisnie

It's all mind over matter. I know this. It's not time that heals the wounds, it's your entire mind set. Almost like the alcoholic when they are on the sober AA path. I used to see the change in his brain....the difference between when he was actively drinking vs when he was on the sober path and attend...

John · John

Do you love an alcoholic? How can you live with an alcoholic and love them at the same time? Very carefully. It’s true, it is very difficult to live with an alcoholic, but people do it all the time. Alcohol controls the mind and spirit of a person, so in affect as long as the alcoholic is drinking you will no...

Member in China? · lyndebi

Didn't one of us go to China to see her new grandbaby? Who was it? They had a bad earthquake. ?

New member · dusty58

I have only just discovered that my sister (she's 53) is an alcoholic. She and I are very close and although she has a family of her own and lives a distance away from me it has made me really sad and guilty. I feel so sad for her with this illness and so guilty that I never knew and couldn't be there for her. She...

AlaMom · AlaMom

Morning Alanon family, This morning my heart aches immensely as I have lost a beacon of light in my life. Yesterday afternoon my father (step - although I have not called him that part for years) passed away suddenly. Jim came into my life in my early teens and I had made the decision quickly to hate him...

Love Always Hopes · Love Always Hopes

First, sorry to be so needy. It feels like I've been posting a lot and I'm really pretty new here still...It's wierd how for a year this all seemed to be a slow fade into a bad situation and suddenly it's like we are on the Audubon to hell on earth! I've been doing stuff for me this week. First time in a very...

Gailey · Gailey

My son was sober when I got home from work. I went next door to talk to him. It was nice to see him sober. I told him that too (does that apply pressure to the A?) I went out last night and when I got back home he came outside to help me carry things in the house. It was obvious he was drinking. I couldn't talk to...

Gailey · Gailey

Last night I went to a Monday night meeting that I haven't been going to in a while. I did 2 things that really even surprised me. 1) signed up to open a meeting in May (first time ever) 2) ask someone to sponser me....YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! It is a lady that has been in program for many years and when I get back fr...

bethjudi · bethjudi

Thank goodness I found this board. My ALO is recently returned home from his second round of treatment from an addiction with hydrocodone. Things are different this time. He's different, which I know is a good thing but at this time he seems very confused and unsure of his feelings and his life. H...

One4Life · One4Life

I loved an alcoholic who I knew for over 30 years and was married to for 12 of those years. He severly abused alcohol for 15-20 years. I moved back home 10 years ago, back to Northern California from Lexington KY. I left because My ex husband, Ray's parting words to me was that he "wasn't going to sto...

tlynna · tlynna

I'm writing for your thoughts on cutting off my husband's financial access. I dated my husband for 2.5 years and then married him 1.5 years ago. He is a good person (think Indigo1's earlier post) who has slowly degraded and is now verbally and mentally abusive when drinking. Prior to our marriage, m...

Love Always Hopes · Love Always Hopes

I came to a point this week of just not being able to take it anymore. We dropped the kids off (we only get them every other weekend) after a hard weekend with them but good time together. We had a great talk on the way home about kid stuff. We got home and immediately he was gone into the bathroom and the dr...

Destynee · Destynee

The H left on Thursday to go and use. On Sunday he called for his extra set of truck keys as he lost his. He met me at a corner store near where he was staying. I gave them to him and he said "I won't bother you again, I'm done." I said ok. He said the same thing and I said ok. He said I can't believe y...

miss lucy · miss lucy

Last night i had the misfortune to witness first hand the tragic consequences of a drinker out of control. My friend, and don't get me wrong he is one heck of a guy when he is sober, had been out with some mates drinking and celebrating finding a new job after being unemployed for over 18 months. He had als...

Tracy · Tracy

Another al anon member asked me if I had done any step work with my sponsor. She said she was given questions on each step to complete and then discussed th answers. I have been sponsered for over to years. My sponsor is great and we have long chat she has learnt me a lot. I have done tried an attempt at a s...

wp · wp

It has nothing to do with me...repeat....nothing to do with me....repeat.....I didn't cause it.......can't cure, can't control......nothing to do with me. Right? wp

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, Thanks for all who replied to my "hurting" post. I love having a safe place to come to vent. Most of the time I am looking for just that a vent. I love also that I can come here and get ESH and NOT advice. I have enough people telling me what to do, and I love that here I can learn from what yo...

SeekingPeace · SeekingPeace

I've been lurking around here for a little while but finally got the courage to join and post my story. I apologize in advance for the length, but it helps me to read other people's experiences...and let's be honest, it's very cathartic to just "get it out." I'm 24 years old, and my mother is a...

angelchar375 · angelchar375

I saw ah over the weekend. He is a drug addict, lately heroin has taken over... And it was our sons 3rd birthday. So he came along. And I did great with handing over the situation to my HP. I didn't get into his stuff. And we actually spent some nice time the next day together. But it was sooo sad to see him. At o...

Festfan · Festfan

Hi all. Its been awhile for me on this board. My A-mom is visiting my sister and I this weekend - STRESS! She went into rehab for the 1st time last summer - 1 week inpatient and a 6 week daily outpatient program (9-5 style). She has been going to meetings 2-3 times a week. During the visit we have learned...

maybethistime · maybethistime

because he feels i'm not being supportive. suppportive to him looks like saying i love you every time we speak, hugging, touching, saying "you can do this" constantly. personally i'm not ready to do any of these things. i have buried my anger but it my fear of this thin ice of new sobriety we a...

lyndebi · lyndebi

8am in Oregon. yuck. Got tired of being taken advantage of. Usually I take it and stew then let it go. It is scarey for me to go to court alone especially. Tenats as usual did not pay their last months rent. They had a security deposit, not a rent deposit. I would have let it go had they been nice when they lef...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, I have shared how my sober ABF has started to have slips again and how I have used my al anon to handle this effectivly. However after a recent panic attack my Hp sent me a message that he loved me and that it was my time. I care for my Bf but I really think I want t fix me. I can not fix him or anyon...

Acatnip · Acatnip

When you get what you have been asking for, you don't know what to do with it. In the continuing saga that is my life, just yesterday I shared how I felt so unsettled in this new life. Then later on in my day, I heard from AH. Not the same AH I have been used to talking to, this version is now sober and attending h...

Love Always Hopes · Love Always Hopes

The good news is I finally took the step and went to a f2f meeting tonight. It was very good. It was all about Step1 and admitting how we are powerless to change what is outside of ourselves. I admit, I found myself nodding at times and thinking "that's crap!" at others (What do you mean I can...

Gailey · Gailey

This Saturday I will be leaving for a trip to Japan. This is a trip I have been waiting for. It is a trip to meet my new granddaughter, Julia, who was born on 3/27. I will be up in the air for 14 hours straight. That has me stressed to begin with but what I am really afraid of is leaving the A son at home for a week....

maybethistime · maybethistime

How the alcoholic uses anger as a weapon?

Maria123 · Maria123

Happy Birthday (((Rose))) I hope your day was a magical one! Thanks for your service to the program. love in recovery, Maria

saltire · saltire

Hello folks, 1st time back here for about a year and things only worse! I think my wife has been an alcholic for about 12 years now and I'm really hacked off with it - yeah yeah she's a lovely person when sober bla de blah ! But there's no intamacy any more and I really can't be bothered anymore even trying for...

saltire · saltire

I received a PM in response to my MONEY post and below is the reply I gave the kind member, as you will read it's not money worries bugging me now; please read on.... Thank you for your pm. I hope things work out for you. things have taken another twist for me. I learned today my AW drove to work and had to be dri...

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

This week started out horrible! My dry drunk husband, who is sick in more ways then one, decided to throw out nearly everything I owned on the front lawn from the floor and my dressers in my bedroom one morning, while I was sorting laundry. "Throw" is not an exagerration! He threw everyt...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I really liked todays ODAT reading! It is about despair and its relationship to faith. "...when we are troubled and cannot see a way out it is only because WE cannot SEE a way out because we imagine that only WE can find a solution to the trouble" We imagine that all solutions are up to us and...

Ness · Ness

Hi family, my son is in hospital 4 days now. He took three big seizures within the space of 2 hours, luckily his drinking partner had the sense to call the emergency service after the 1st seizure.Funny thing is he called us the night before..........1st since Xmas . He sounded weak and ill on the phone,...

RMM124 · RMM124

I am new here... trying to find a way to deal with the fact that my mother, who was clean and in AA for over 5 years, has now decided to "live life" and drink because she "wants to." I am an only child and she is my only family. I have three kids that supposedly mean the world to her yet s...

joanlee · joanlee

Hello I found out my 32-yr old daughter is an alcoholic about a year ago. Completely dumbfounded, she hid it so well. My husband lost his job two years ago, and has since increased his drinking to around the clock. I can't get past the frustration and the anger. I know my life is unmanageable. I had to canc...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I believe that anonymity is crucial and a vital foundation to the Al-Anon meetings. The confidentiality is an integral part of the ability for its members to share and trust. I read a post where a co-worker violated this. I once had a co-worker tell me that she met someone we both know at her Al-Anon...

Rora · Rora

For the past 18 mos of separation from my exaH I've run the gammit on the entire spectrum of emotion. Relief, apprehension, frustration, irritation, anger, hostility, guilt, hurt, pain, disbelief, annoyance, fear....and on and on. Much of the time the undertone of my emotional state has been ve...

angelchar375 · angelchar375

This week has been extra tough for me. My son turned 3 this weekend, and I had been planning his birthday that it seemed like not many people - including some of our closest friends - would be able to attend. But... it was the best day/time for me so I planned away. Then I was concerned my ah would be in town an...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I won't rub it in promise and this is the season and the weekend for the Merrie Monarch (actually the nick name of a prior King...Kalakaua) who insisted on the arts of music and hula and so in his honor every year we have a 4 day competition of hula studios from around the planet who come and present their hu...

Raven68 · Raven68

I had a sponsor online for about a year. Rose got involved in her school work. Due to disability and other factors I cant made it to local meetings. Rose and I met through this site. I need someone I can comunicate with via email and phone. I am in Texas. My cell is (Please PM Raven for her number) My name i...

Mattie · Mattie

I keep forgetting that if I put my hand on the hot stove, I'll get burned. I was checking the state unclaimed property sites, where I'd found some unclaimed property. So then I checked under the names of some friends, and found they had some listed too. So ... then I checked in the name of my ex. So he had s...

Love Always Hopes · Love Always Hopes

I would like to take this Al anon thing to the next step and attend face 2 face meetings, read the lit, get a sponsor, the whole shebang. When I go to look up the meeting schedule, I see that there are meetings with different titles... "Discovering Choices" "Courage to Change" &q...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Getting back into the rooms... (Preview) I KNOW meetings help. I KNOW I need to be in the rooms. But why is it so hard to get there? I know I need a program in my life - so why do Iresist giving myself over to it completely? I promise myself I am going to go to a meeting - then I do not go and I beat myself up, lose hope and credibility. I must remember - nothi...	RunnerChick	10	906	Apr 19, 2010 by canadianguy
	Attitude (Preview) One of my new insights is that my family of origin had an attitude of contempt and derision for certain people and that never changed no matter what happened that didn't change. When I come across a person like the ex A who exhibits the same contempt and derision I was hooked in by not being able to accept...	maresie	8	1359	Apr 18, 2010 by nmike
	fresh hope and a new future looming (Preview) hi everyone. have been so busy studying i havent had chance to pop in for a while. am doing great with my dog trainer course - i have one more test to do and then i am fully qualified! my business is starting to take shape and i have just been accepted as a foster carer for one of the local voluntary rescue org...	miss lucy	2	766	Apr 18, 2010 by nmike
	Reliving old feelings from family of origin (Preview) I've been thinking a lot the past few days about my family of origin and how dysfunctional it was and still is. My mom seems to want to live in a complete atmosphere of chaos and drama - every day it seems like there's something else that's stressing her out (i.e. a good reason to drink). My stepfather tr...	White Rabbit	4	744	Apr 18, 2010 by bchgurl249
	New here---need guidance (Preview) I've been married to my husband, a recovering alcoholic for almost 3 years now. While he hasn't had an alcohol slip up for almost year now, he has turned to strong anti-anxiety medications. In August 2008, he took a whole bottle of calanopin and acted drunk the entire night. I called his therapist aft...	AmberB	9	1039	Apr 18, 2010 by mon123
	Another step back (Preview) I feel as though I keep getting punished over and over again. In the months before my split from my 20 year relationship with my A. I somewhat pushed him away. I did things I'm not proud of and then when he blindsided me and up and left and things spiraled out of control, it was to late. He keeps hitting w...	sdisnie	4	780	Apr 18, 2010 by Jean4444
	Beyond anger, in hurt and fear, but now what? (Preview) As expected, my ex finally got in touch to talk about the baby that is due in a few weeks. He wanted to be there at the birth, and for me to pop round and see him from sometimes. I was kind of going along with it, then after the call it just didn't feel right. Why pop round and see him? He swears there is noone e...	ayjay	6	1034	Apr 18, 2010 by Jean4444
	self care (Preview) Hi Eveyone, been having a bit of a tough time my ex ABF is letting himself in my house when my son was in before I got home from work. He was drunk been on a bender for a week. He asked me to take him to the hospital that he wants to go to rehab he wants to die. I took him but really did not want to be there. I rang m...	Tracy	3	816	Apr 18, 2010 by Jean4444
	.....miss you guys!!! (Preview) Hello My Friends, Its been months since I have posted. I'm doing okay. I once again reconciled with my A Hubby and we are experiencing a nice sober marriage. One day at a time! That's all we can do! He is actively working his program through our chruch and I'm taking care of me. We try our best not to i...	Sincerely	5	900	Apr 18, 2010 by wp
	His and my families putting pressure on me in different directions-I can't deal with it. (Preview) H went into rehab on Wednesday. I had to ask his family for the 250.00 copay because he left us with nothing. My MIL was not told about this, my FIL told me not to say anything (they are divorced). But she ended up paying the copay and sent me a nasty letter and ending it with "tell him we love him and su...	Destynee	7	1191	Apr 18, 2010 by wp
	New Member: What is he? What am I in for? What do I do? (Preview) Hi I'm new here and new to the understanding that my husband is probably an alcoholic. :( H has always drank. But, it wasn't till recently that I realized that he is a binge drinker and must have a problem. I have not confronted him, as it has not been a problem I have recognized till now. Here is his drinki...	oppida	12	1129	Apr 18, 2010 by xeno59
	Happy Friday! (Preview) I've been working really hard lately. I decided to take the afternoon off and visit a couple of stores I like without my children - walk nice and slow down the aisles and enjoy myself, etc. :) It's nice to be able to do this once in a while and to believe that I deserve having some time to myself. It's nic...	White Rabbit	3	790	Apr 18, 2010 by Tracy
	Starting to love Me... (Preview) I have recently started to take actions to show myself how much I love me. Got a new haircut, some nice highlights, some new stylish shoes and some new clothes. This week I joined a gym (with a daycare, so I don't need to depend on AH to watch the kids) and have actually gone twice now. In fact, the kids d...	MissyPoo	3	864	Apr 18, 2010 by Tracy
	To give up hope? (Preview) I constantly find myself unconsciusly making plans to when my AH gets sober. Then I snap out of it and I remember that maybe that will never happen. But I struggle between facing my reality and giving up hope. I don't know I guess a part of me does not ever want to think that this is the way things will be for...	Priscilla83	12	1118	Apr 18, 2010 by tlcate
	I've been away again... but now I'm back (Preview) Well, I know I posted earlier when I had finally moved out of the house with my ex-A but, I've been here for almost a month and a half and things are harder. Admittedly I have been drinking more, myself - trying to escape the feelings of dissatisfaction with my life. If I have not already shared this before...	RunnerChick	5	908	Apr 17, 2010 by ythannah
	He was an alcoholic? (Preview) My pal, I'll call him H, had a lot of stamina despite being some 35 years older than I. From the moment we met, we hit it off. We chummed around together, sailed together, skiid together. We'd have a few beers and soak in the sunset with the wind on our faces, truly enjoying the joys of nature. I knew H...	CJ recovery	8	894	Apr 17, 2010 by tlcate
	Took H to rehab today (Preview) He came back last night and asked for help. He made the phone calls last night and this morning. I just drove him there. Strangely, as I was sitting next to him taking him there, I felt nothing. I felt no emotion except relief. Selfish relief. That he wasn't on the streets or his "friends"...	Destynee	4	889	Apr 17, 2010 by Acatnip
	so much has happened since my first post (Preview) In my heart I love him so much but in my head, I know he can never be the man I need him to be. So, why does my heart and mind have to have this struggle? Since my last post, so much has happened. We had another heart to heart talk. I asked him to quit for 30 days, to prove to himself and me that he could do it. He...	daisygirl	5	861	Apr 17, 2010 by lyndebi
	It's all mind over matter (Preview) It's all mind over matter. I know this. It's not time that heals the wounds, it's your entire mind set. Almost like the alcoholic when they are on the sober AA path. I used to see the change in his brain....the difference between when he was actively drinking vs when he was on the sober path and attend...	sdisnie	6	764	Apr 17, 2010 by Jerry F
	Do You Love An Alcoholic? (Preview) Do you love an alcoholic? How can you live with an alcoholic and love them at the same time? Very carefully. It’s true, it is very difficult to live with an alcoholic, but people do it all the time. Alcohol controls the mind and spirit of a person, so in affect as long as the alcoholic is drinking you will no...	John	4	2020	Apr 16, 2010 by Rose
	Member in China? (Preview) Didn't one of us go to China to see her new grandbaby? Who was it? They had a bad earthquake. ?	lyndebi	4	1440	Apr 16, 2010 by lyndebi
	New member (Preview) I have only just discovered that my sister (she's 53) is an alcoholic. She and I are very close and although she has a family of her own and lives a distance away from me it has made me really sad and guilty. I feel so sad for her with this illness and so guilty that I never knew and couldn't be there for her. She...	dusty58	4	756	Apr 16, 2010 by nmike
	Heart that hurts... (Preview) Morning Alanon family, This morning my heart aches immensely as I have lost a beacon of light in my life. Yesterday afternoon my father (step - although I have not called him that part for years) passed away suddenly. Jim came into my life in my early teens and I had made the decision quickly to hate him...	AlaMom	15	1211	Apr 16, 2010 by Maria123
	Is this "normal"? (Preview) First, sorry to be so needy. It feels like I've been posting a lot and I'm really pretty new here still...It's wierd how for a year this all seemed to be a slow fade into a bad situation and suddenly it's like we are on the Audubon to hell on earth! I've been doing stuff for me this week. First time in a very...	Love Always Hopes	14	1202	Apr 16, 2010 by Karilynn
	compassion while they are drinking (Preview) My son was sober when I got home from work. I went next door to talk to him. It was nice to see him sober. I told him that too (does that apply pressure to the A?) I went out last night and when I got back home he came outside to help me carry things in the house. It was obvious he was drinking. I couldn't talk to...	Gailey	7	813	Apr 16, 2010 by Karilynn
	a big step for me last night (Preview) Last night I went to a Monday night meeting that I haven't been going to in a while. I did 2 things that really even surprised me. 1) signed up to open a meeting in May (first time ever) 2) ask someone to sponser me....YEAH!!!!!!!!!!! It is a lady that has been in program for many years and when I get back fr...	Gailey	6	1338	Apr 16, 2010 by Karilynn
	Need ESH !!!!! (Preview) Thank goodness I found this board. My ALO is recently returned home from his second round of treatment from an addiction with hydrocodone. Things are different this time. He's different, which I know is a good thing but at this time he seems very confused and unsure of his feelings and his life. H...	bethjudi	11	938	Apr 16, 2010 by bethjudi
	Loving yourself back to living (Preview) I loved an alcoholic who I knew for over 30 years and was married to for 12 of those years. He severly abused alcohol for 15-20 years. I moved back home 10 years ago, back to Northern California from Lexington KY. I left because My ex husband, Ray's parting words to me was that he "wasn't going to sto...	One4Life	6	808	Apr 16, 2010 by One4Life
	cutting off the finances (Preview) I'm writing for your thoughts on cutting off my husband's financial access. I dated my husband for 2.5 years and then married him 1.5 years ago. He is a good person (think Indigo1's earlier post) who has slowly degraded and is now verbally and mentally abusive when drinking. Prior to our marriage, m...	tlynna	10	764	Apr 15, 2010 by tlynna
	Need to Make Up My Mind - but it keeps shifting and I am so freakin weak!! (Preview) I came to a point this week of just not being able to take it anymore. We dropped the kids off (we only get them every other weekend) after a hard weekend with them but good time together. We had a great talk on the way home about kid stuff. We got home and immediately he was gone into the bathroom and the dr...	Love Always Hopes	10	1186	Apr 15, 2010 by Dyinginside
	Regretting my boundary that I set (Preview) The H left on Thursday to go and use. On Sunday he called for his extra set of truck keys as he lost his. He met me at a corner store near where he was staying. I gave them to him and he said "I won't bother you again, I'm done." I said ok. He said the same thing and I said ok. He said I can't believe y...	Destynee	9	903	Apr 14, 2010 by CJ recovery
	An innocent victim (Preview) Last night i had the misfortune to witness first hand the tragic consequences of a drinker out of control. My friend, and don't get me wrong he is one heck of a guy when he is sober, had been out with some mates drinking and celebrating finding a new job after being unemployed for over 18 months. He had als...	miss lucy	9	983	Apr 14, 2010 by wp
	Step work question (Preview) Another al anon member asked me if I had done any step work with my sponsor. She said she was given questions on each step to complete and then discussed th answers. I have been sponsered for over to years. My sponsor is great and we have long chat she has learnt me a lot. I have done tried an attempt at a s...	Tracy	6	971	Apr 14, 2010 by abbyal
	Drinking and personality change (Preview) It has nothing to do with me...repeat....nothing to do with me....repeat.....I didn't cause it.......can't cure, can't control......nothing to do with me. Right? wp	wp	5	1126	Apr 14, 2010 by wp
	Positive steps to a better me (Preview) Hi family, Thanks for all who replied to my "hurting" post. I love having a safe place to come to vent. Most of the time I am looking for just that a vent. I love also that I can come here and get ESH and NOT advice. I have enough people telling me what to do, and I love that here I can learn from what yo...	Mandy123	5	973	Apr 14, 2010 by Jean4444
	New here - my story (Preview) I've been lurking around here for a little while but finally got the courage to join and post my story. I apologize in advance for the length, but it helps me to read other people's experiences...and let's be honest, it's very cathartic to just "get it out." I'm 24 years old, and my mother is a...	SeekingPeace	8	1142	Apr 14, 2010 by RLC
	Nightmares (Preview) I saw ah over the weekend. He is a drug addict, lately heroin has taken over... And it was our sons 3rd birthday. So he came along. And I did great with handing over the situation to my HP. I didn't get into his stuff. And we actually spent some nice time the next day together. But it was sooo sad to see him. At o...	angelchar375	5	952	Apr 14, 2010 by Rita G
	What to do/say when they relapse? ESH please (Preview) Hi all. Its been awhile for me on this board. My A-mom is visiting my sister and I this weekend - STRESS! She went into rehab for the 1st time last summer - 1 week inpatient and a 6 week daily outpatient program (9-5 style). She has been going to meetings 2-3 times a week. During the visit we have learned...	Festfan	9	2497	Apr 14, 2010 by mon123
	he is still mad at me... (Preview) because he feels i'm not being supportive. suppportive to him looks like saying i love you every time we speak, hugging, touching, saying "you can do this" constantly. personally i'm not ready to do any of these things. i have buried my anger but it my fear of this thin ice of new sobriety we a...	maybethistime	6	1042	Apr 14, 2010 by maybethistime
	Court in morn (Preview) 8am in Oregon. yuck. Got tired of being taken advantage of. Usually I take it and stew then let it go. It is scarey for me to go to court alone especially. Tenats as usual did not pay their last months rent. They had a security deposit, not a rent deposit. I would have let it go had they been nice when they lef...	lyndebi	8	855	Apr 14, 2010 by Ness
	MY TIME (Preview) Hi everyone, I have shared how my sober ABF has started to have slips again and how I have used my al anon to handle this effectivly. However after a recent panic attack my Hp sent me a message that he loved me and that it was my time. I care for my Bf but I really think I want t fix me. I can not fix him or anyon...	Tracy	3	809	Apr 13, 2010 by Jerry F
	Funny How (Preview) When you get what you have been asking for, you don't know what to do with it. In the continuing saga that is my life, just yesterday I shared how I felt so unsettled in this new life. Then later on in my day, I heard from AH. Not the same AH I have been used to talking to, this version is now sober and attending h...	Acatnip	3	1221	Apr 13, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Finally did something...now if patience would just step up the pace!! (Preview) The good news is I finally took the step and went to a f2f meeting tonight. It was very good. It was all about Step1 and admitting how we are powerless to change what is outside of ourselves. I admit, I found myself nodding at times and thinking "that's crap!" at others (What do you mean I can...	Love Always Hopes	5	829	Apr 13, 2010 by White Rabbit
	feeling scared about leaving (Preview) This Saturday I will be leaving for a trip to Japan. This is a trip I have been waiting for. It is a trip to meet my new granddaughter, Julia, who was born on 3/27. I will be up in the air for 14 hours straight. That has me stressed to begin with but what I am really afraid of is leaving the A son at home for a week....	Gailey	13	1621	Apr 13, 2010 by Gailey
	anyone heard of the book... (Preview) How the alcoholic uses anger as a weapon?	maybethistime	2	836	Apr 13, 2010 by maybethistime
	Happy Birthday ~ Imfree2004 (Preview) Happy Birthday (((Rose))) I hope your day was a magical one! Thanks for your service to the program. love in recovery, Maria	Maria123	4	733	Apr 13, 2010 by Karilynn
	no money - no way out (Preview) Hello folks, 1st time back here for about a year and things only worse! I think my wife has been an alcholic for about 12 years now and I'm really hacked off with it - yeah yeah she's a lovely person when sober bla de blah ! But there's no intamacy any more and I really can't be bothered anymore even trying for...	saltire	10	1341	Apr 13, 2010 by CJ recovery
	more MONEY worries ? No, something else..... (Preview) I received a PM in response to my MONEY post and below is the reply I gave the kind member, as you will read it's not money worries bugging me now; please read on.... Thank you for your pm. I hope things work out for you. things have taken another twist for me. I learned today my AW drove to work and had to be dri...	saltire	5	861	Apr 13, 2010 by CJ recovery
	The A's curse turned into a blessing with help from Alanon Tools! (Preview) This week started out horrible! My dry drunk husband, who is sick in more ways then one, decided to throw out nearly everything I owned on the front lawn from the floor and my dressers in my bedroom one morning, while I was sorting laundry. "Throw" is not an exagerration! He threw everyt...	MaryPoppins	6	1553	Apr 12, 2010 by Jerry F
	despair and faith (Preview) I really liked todays ODAT reading! It is about despair and its relationship to faith. "...when we are troubled and cannot see a way out it is only because WE cannot SEE a way out because we imagine that only WE can find a solution to the trouble" We imagine that all solutions are up to us and...	Jean4444	6	2094	Apr 12, 2010 by Jerry F
	Ason in hospital (Preview) Hi family, my son is in hospital 4 days now. He took three big seizures within the space of 2 hours, luckily his drinking partner had the sense to call the emergency service after the 1st seizure.Funny thing is he called us the night before..........1st since Xmas . He sounded weak and ill on the phone,...	Ness	17	1065	Apr 12, 2010 by Iamhere
	New...feeling lost, angry, sad etc (Preview) I am new here... trying to find a way to deal with the fact that my mother, who was clean and in AA for over 5 years, has now decided to "live life" and drink because she "wants to." I am an only child and she is my only family. I have three kids that supposedly mean the world to her yet s...	RMM124	10	954	Apr 12, 2010 by Iamhere
	New and struggling (Preview) Hello I found out my 32-yr old daughter is an alcoholic about a year ago. Completely dumbfounded, she hid it so well. My husband lost his job two years ago, and has since increased his drinking to around the clock. I can't get past the frustration and the anger. I know my life is unmanageable. I had to canc...	joanlee	9	1102	Apr 12, 2010 by joanlee
	Anonymity (Preview) I believe that anonymity is crucial and a vital foundation to the Al-Anon meetings. The confidentiality is an integral part of the ability for its members to share and trust. I read a post where a co-worker violated this. I once had a co-worker tell me that she met someone we both know at her Al-Anon...	wifeofalcoholic	4	807	Apr 12, 2010 by xeno59
	Anger replaced with painful sadness... (Preview) For the past 18 mos of separation from my exaH I've run the gammit on the entire spectrum of emotion. Relief, apprehension, frustration, irritation, anger, hostility, guilt, hurt, pain, disbelief, annoyance, fear....and on and on. Much of the time the undertone of my emotional state has been ve...	Rora	5	1556	Apr 12, 2010 by xeno59
	Handing over some tough stuff... (Preview) This week has been extra tough for me. My son turned 3 this weekend, and I had been planning his birthday that it seemed like not many people - including some of our closest friends - would be able to attend. But... it was the best day/time for me so I planned away. Then I was concerned my ah would be in town an...	angelchar375	2	896	Apr 11, 2010 by Jerry F
	Healthy distractions... (Preview) I won't rub it in promise and this is the season and the weekend for the Merrie Monarch (actually the nick name of a prior King...Kalakaua) who insisted on the arts of music and hula and so in his honor every year we have a 4 day competition of hula studios from around the planet who come and present their hu...	Jerry F	8	992	Apr 11, 2010 by Jerry F
	I need a new sponsor badly (Preview) I had a sponsor online for about a year. Rose got involved in her school work. Due to disability and other factors I cant made it to local meetings. Rose and I met through this site. I need someone I can comunicate with via email and phone. I am in Texas. My cell is (Please PM Raven for her number) My name i...	Raven68	1	867	Apr 11, 2010 by Melissa21
	I put my hand on the hot stove again (Preview) I keep forgetting that if I put my hand on the hot stove, I'll get burned. I was checking the state unclaimed property sites, where I'd found some unclaimed property. So then I checked under the names of some friends, and found they had some listed too. So ... then I checked in the name of my ex. So he had s...	Mattie	8	1445	Apr 11, 2010 by Mattie
	First Step... (Preview) I would like to take this Al anon thing to the next step and attend face 2 face meetings, read the lit, get a sponsor, the whole shebang. When I go to look up the meeting schedule, I see that there are meetings with different titles... "Discovering Choices" "Courage to Change" &q...	Love Always Hopes	6	1233	Apr 11, 2010 by ythannah
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.