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New and struggling
(Preview)
Hello I found out my 32-yr old daughter is an alcoholic about a year ago. Completely dumbfounded, she hid it so well. My husband lost his job two years ago, and has since increased his drinking to around the clock. I can't get past the frustration and the anger. I know my life is unmanageable. I had to canc...
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joanlee
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9
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993
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Anonymity
(Preview)
I believe that anonymity is crucial and a vital foundation to the Al-Anon meetings. The confidentiality is an integral part of the ability for its members to share and trust. I read a post where a co-worker violated this. I once had a co-worker tell me that she met someone we both know at her Al-Anon...
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wifeofalcoholic
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4
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702
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Anger replaced with painful sadness...
(Preview)
For the past 18 mos of separation from my exaH I've run the gammit on the entire spectrum of emotion. Relief, apprehension, frustration, irritation, anger, hostility, guilt, hurt, pain, disbelief, annoyance, fear....and on and on. Much of the time the undertone of my emotional state has been ve...
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Rora
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5
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1426
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Handing over some tough stuff...
(Preview)
This week has been extra tough for me. My son turned 3 this weekend, and I had been planning his birthday that it seemed like not many people - including some of our closest friends - would be able to attend. But... it was the best day/time for me so I planned away. Then I was concerned my ah would be in town an...
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angelchar375
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2
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790
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Healthy distractions...
(Preview)
I won't rub it in promise and this is the season and the weekend for the Merrie Monarch (actually the nick name of a prior King...Kalakaua) who insisted on the arts of music and hula and so in his honor every year we have a 4 day competition of hula studios from around the planet who come and present their hu...
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Jerry F
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8
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883
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I need a new sponsor badly
(Preview)
I had a sponsor online for about a year. Rose got involved in her school work. Due to disability and other factors I cant made it to local meetings. Rose and I met through this site. I need someone I can comunicate with via email and phone. I am in Texas. My cell is (Please PM Raven for her number) My name i...
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Raven68
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1
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757
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I put my hand on the hot stove again
(Preview)
I keep forgetting that if I put my hand on the hot stove, I'll get burned. I was checking the state unclaimed property sites, where I'd found some unclaimed property. So then I checked under the names of some friends, and found they had some listed too. So ... then I checked in the name of my ex. So he had s...
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Mattie
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8
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1329
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First Step...
(Preview)
I would like to take this Al anon thing to the next step and attend face 2 face meetings, read the lit, get a sponsor, the whole shebang. When I go to look up the meeting schedule, I see that there are meetings with different titles... "Discovering Choices" "Courage to Change" &q...
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Love Always Hopes
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6
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1123
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Hard to stop talking to AW when the kids are involved
(Preview)
My 1st post, so the story could get long. I'll offer the condensed version. My AW has been in & out of treatment for about 2 1/2 years. She's been active in AA when she wants to. She's been in intensive outpatient, 30 day inpatient, psychiatric hospitals (a few short stays), private counseling... s...
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mow joe
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10
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739
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Any suggestions for when the exaH creeps this board??
(Preview)
Just found out that exaH has joined and creeps this board to keep an eye on my posts here. any suggestions to him/me? Rora
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Rora
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11
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648
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Happy Birthday MyMandy123Girl
(Preview)
(((((((((MyMandy)))))))))), Happy Birthday Girlfriend ! ! ! Take a moment to stop and appreciate what a beautiful woman you are, how far you've come in your recovery, and what an attractive program you have. As Karilynn says calories don't count today (ha ha) but I gotta tell ya, they do. I am with...
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Maria123
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6
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699
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the pouting begins
(Preview)
Hello everyone, <sigh> My xah has begun the angry pouting tantrum. In reply to my letter restating, and the last contact i will make with him, my wish for no contact, I got two letters. The first angry and insisting he would pay me back the money which I never mentioned in my request (not really sur...
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Jennifer
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4
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975
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Please, I need your HELP!!
(Preview)
Hi. This may be a bit off my normal topic but I wasn't sure where to turn. My Abf-sober has a 14 year old son and he is with us every other weekend. He has always been a good kid, my bf never had a father growing up and as a result has always been very involved and hands on (as the ex would let him) with his son. ...
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lizzakiss
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4
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837
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I want to be out of the Anger stage...
(Preview)
But I don't know how to get out of it. It feels like I kept my anger in for 5 years (our whole relationship) and now it all boils out...at my Afiance. I feel so mad at myself that I used to yell so much at my kids, and realizing it now that it was because of the craziness going on with my Afiance. I am seeing a ther...
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lindseymommyof2
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10
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1329
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"sometimes love is not enough"...
(Preview)
Another member here mentioned this quote and I guess it touches me so directly these days. In discussions (lectures) with my exaH he tends to frequently play the card of "I know ... the problem is you don't love me!" And I start to panic. Because I DO love him. There is so much about him and t...
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Rora
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6
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1175
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taking care of myself, HOW?
(Preview)
Hi all, went to a meeting last night topic taking care of ourselves. My ABF got sober last april since November he has started slipping twice when nephew died.then again jan and twice since last week, last night latest occassion. I did not know this when I was in the meeting and have been handling the...
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Tracy
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4
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1004
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He's out of my house, but not out of my heart.
(Preview)
It has been so sad to watch him disintegrate. I pity the man; he is so deep into his alcoholism that nothing else matters. I have told him to leave so many times, but always took him back. But now he has gone too far. I cannot live with the mental abuse that he heaps upon me when he drinks; unbelievably aw...
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Diva
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15
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922
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The lasting affects of living with Addiction
(Preview)
Hello Friends, It's been awhile since I have posted....I am having one of those days that you know is from living with addiction for so many years. Things were going well, my daughter has no patience for anything....it's almost like the addict that wants it now and their own way and nothing else matter...
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Andrea12
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3
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615
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MONDAY A.M. Al-ANON MEETING
(Preview)
Hi friends, I am unable to chair the Monday a.m. Al-Anon Meeting. My senior friend requires transportation to her eye doctor and her appointment is sheduled for our meeting time. Hoping another OP can step up for me and if not, hopefully another member will step up. Have a great day! Love in recove...
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shimo
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0
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458
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ESH needed on how to handle social functions with an A
(Preview)
Hi everyone... I am looking for some ESH on how you have handled social functions with your AH. My AH's sister is getting married at the end of May, and of course where there is a wedding, there is alcohol. I know I cannot control whether or not my A drinks at the wedding, or how much, he either will or he wo...
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MissyPoo
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5
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1004
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someone at my al anon group told a coworker that I was gong to al anon! I thought it was ANON!!!
(Preview)
I am so furious. In my Sunday morning Al Anon group and ex coworker was at the last meeting. On Monday morning a guy I work with said "I talked with Chris, he said he saw you at an Al Anon meeting Sunday morning". I thought "nothing left the room". I didn't want people at work to know m...
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Hurt Nurse
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8
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1803
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Hurting
(Preview)
Hi all, As many of you know I just went through a divorce and it wsa final on 03/02. But something I haven't shared here is that during my 90 day waiting period for the divorce to be final, I met someone. I met him online on Facebook of all places lol. We were playing a game in the same room and started chatting...
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Mandy123
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13
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802
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Guilt and Grieving
(Preview)
As I posted here before, I left AH but am having tremendous feelings of guilt and remorse. My head tells me I have done the right thing but I am so heartbroken and guilt filled. I did spend some time with AH since his release from rehab and found him in sorry shape. Physically, he is pale and constant shaki...
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Acatnip
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4
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1200
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Do you remember?
(Preview)
Hi all, Do any of you who have been around for a while remember the "Mandy and Paul" show? (Paul and I used to chair meetings twice a week in the chat room) We are going to have the live version next week :). (And yes I have his permission to post this). I can't wait....next week I am flying out to th...
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Mandy123
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4
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1042
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How much more?
(Preview)
Just venting because I am feeling absolutely rubbish. I have been to my father's funeral (Tuesday) and it was a lovely service but I did feel somewhat isolated without AH there to support me. I didn't want him there, given the state he is in but his staying away didn't help me feel any better. He was once s...
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Tattyhead
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8
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1245
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How can I deal with having to see X-A at kids baseball games every day for the next few months??
(Preview)
Starting next week my boys have baseball games every single day. I will now have to start seeing the ex, when I have been able to completely keep him away and out of my life. Having to deal with his presense at these games is terrifing to me. I've been healing because the best thing for me is to not have to...
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sdisnie
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3
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775
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ah's checking account them... part 2
(Preview)
Just wanted to say thanks for the replies... I guess I was a little short with my info... I am the major bread winner btw the 2 of us... I make twice a smuch as he does per week... my name is on everything and his is on nothing other than his account. so, what did I learn from you wonderful friends... I feel for...
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angelbreeze127
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4
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1170
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Physically ill with all the stress
(Preview)
I had a check today with my midwife and was told i was aneamic and could have diabetes due to the pregnancy. I am not suprised I feel ill, have no energy and have not been able to look after myself properly. 2 years of my partner coming and going has brought me to my knees, especially with it being the same al...
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ayjay
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9
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1275
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Should I contact his family...
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, My name is Patty and I have a very good friend who I am very concerned about. Over the past couple years we have become very close. He has confided in me that he is a functional alcoholic... he knows there is a problem, but he is unwilling or unable to seek help. He is a wonderful and amazing...
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PattyW
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11
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1002
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Day five and doing well.
(Preview)
Today I found out I can start the mower, and I got most of the lawns mowed. Tomorrow I try the weedeater! LOL I am taking care of the animals singlehandedly; even hired a reputable painter to finish the outside of the house. (the A just dropped everything and walked out.) Calling that "walking o...
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Diva
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9
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957
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Just when my boundaries were slipping.........
(Preview)
Travelling back from the funeral of my sis-in-law last week, a long 600 mile trip, my Ason was foremost in my thoughts. Love and loss, funerals trigger many things. I was thinking I feel a bit stronger now in Alanon, maybe I will tweak the boundary a bit and let him come home for a weekend.Well around a 100...
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Ness
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6
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883
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AH just wont go away and leave me in peace.
(Preview)
i am so frustrated with AH right now i could cheerfully ............ i dont know what i could cheerfully do? the final decision was taken by me that enough was enough as you know earlier this week. since then AH has been a right royal pain in the you know what!!! he has deliberately come past where i l...
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miss lucy
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6
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742
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dreams, what does it all mean
(Preview)
Been sick, my med makes me sleep. Which is ok as I have not had my shoulder fixed yet, pain makes it hard to sleep. Anyway I had a horrible dream. I tend to dream in this same sorta way. Everyone who passed in my life, which is almost everyone, hates me. I mean is so disgusted and ashamed of me. My family was ver...
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lyndebi
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2
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652
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Got roped again
(Preview)
It's been a while since I've posted here. My sponsor, god bless her, isn't available for a phone call, though I did call another member and chat for a while... feel a little better but I know my mind and I know my head's going to chew on this for a good deal of time. And it ticks me off because it's the evening a...
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Aloha
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5
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752
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Isolation
(Preview)
I feel so shut off from the world around me. I get up, I go to work, I take care of my house and everyone in it. I had to hear today at work the endless talk of successful children, loving grandchildren, lives that seem to glide through life from one accomplishment to the next. I am just relieved if I make it t...
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DreamsOver
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9
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939
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Sometimes the consequences of powerlessness...
(Preview)
is relief and relaxation, sometimes its relief and happiness and sometimes it is sadness and grief. Got some extra undirected prayers? Got some whispers to your Higher Power ready to go. I'd like to use a couple of them if I may along with my own...Our family just lost a young 29 year old female cousi...
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Jerry F
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21
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1011
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feeling guilty... should I?
(Preview)
My ah and I keep separate checking accounts... for obvious reasons... Unbeknownst to him, I keep tabs on his acc't. Why? Becasue he usually keeps about $150 a week for his crap and I get resentfull if he has got overtime and he doens't offer it up for bills...He doesn't do a good job at this. he has no i...
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angelbreeze127
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7
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824
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struggling with higher power
(Preview)
I've attended a bunch of meetings in the last two weeks. i've purchased one of the books. i'm struggling with letting go control - ie a higher power. i am realizing i am a control freak and one of the reasons i can't believe in "god" or a higher power is that i can't admit that i am powerless/lack...
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maybethistime
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14
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1504
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He finally hit rock bottom literally
(Preview)
I havent been here in awhile, but I wanted to share the following, cause even though we are divorced I suppose this still affects me and the kids. On February 4, 2010 my X moved back to the small island he was raised on, this after he was arrested and had his license suspended at the end of January for a DUI, a...
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doublesmommy
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13
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793
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I hit my AH today.
(Preview)
I hit him twice. One was a punch in the face. I'm so incredibly guilty and sick over it. I've been beating myself up since. He disappeared again on Thursday and didn't come back or call. Called Saturday and left me a suicide message again. This is 3 times now. When I didn't respond, he went to the ER...
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Destynee
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12
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728
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My kids were clueless to the problem
(Preview)
Everyone has told me over and over my kids will benefit from this split with the A and myself. I have told them that i hid it so well from my kids, my A didn't drink at home...he would disappear and be gone for long periods of time. My kids would think he was working out of town. Everyone says...including...
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sdisnie
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6
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861
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I am Lyn... I am new to all this and really hurting right now
(Preview)
I haven't slept in days....all I do is cry...looking for some peace and inspiration. I have an adult son, a police officer, who is an alcoholic. He was careful...never drank on a day when he was working, but when he was off duty, he drank much more than I realized. A few days into 2010, he had a seizure on...
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LynW
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13
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1276
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Still Learning... Still Growing :)
(Preview)
Welp... yesterday I Finally got to spend some Much needed time with my Sponser, we hung out & chatted for hours on end ;) it is amazing how after speaking I can feel so much better... She has been helping me work on some issues that I am attemping to come to terms with... I never realized how much I make m...
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Jozie
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1
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696
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needing someone to" listen ", please
(Preview)
I am desperately hoping someone can guide me in the right direction and offer some kind of advice because right now I am feeling so lost and alone. Father in law is an alcoholic. My husband or sister in law doesn't know what to do now. My husband and I have opened our home up to him twice in the past even when w...
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beacheemom
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7
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692
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Is it healthy or not healthy to just flat out not communicate with the ex-AH
(Preview)
It kind of makes me feel better to not deal with him...to speak to him, to not look at him, to not be anywhere near him. When I see a text or an email come through I absolutely cringe. I can't deal with anything that he's doing or how he's living his life right now, so completely shutting myself off from it...
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sdisnie
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2
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770
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Morning After Again......
(Preview)
I came home from work yesterday to a empty house, I knew my A was out drinking again. I went about my business, took shower, read a lilttle, pray, watched dancing with the stars....My A calls me 4 times on the phone and I did not pick up. I am thinking he is drunk and the bar is calling me to pick him up or he is...
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weggie
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6
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830
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Letting go (new personal recovery awareness)
(Preview)
Hi people. I thought I would share my new awareness with you guys. I read this reading the other night in Hope For Today page 17 as I become overwhelmed with my struggle to detach from family with it being easter weekend. To give a little bit of insight I was feeling lonely due to not spending time with my n...
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chezza
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4
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1109
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Today's Birthday Gal - Kerry5
(Preview)
Happy Birthday (((Kerry))), May your day be just as beautiful as you Hope you and your little ones have a wonderful day together to celebrate your :birthday: Enjoy love in recovery, Maria
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Maria123
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8
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754
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trying to break free
(Preview)
Finally I have decided to stop feeling sorry for myself .I gathered up my courage and prayed I could hold it together.I went to speak to lawyer about my situation and he advised me to get out that very day .He said he was worried for my safety and my children.He asked me to contact my parents for...
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cassidy2010
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5
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781
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Hoping for some insight...ESH...sanity?
(Preview)
Hello! I always get such good advice, wisdom and a feeling of peace on these boards that I wanted to share something that has been bothering me involving my Abf-sober's ex-gf. Recently I have been posting alot about both my and my bf working our programs, treating each other gently, communicating...
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lizzakiss
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4
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804
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Something I found funny
(Preview)
I may be a bit giddy at 1AM after 12 hours of homework but hearing the TV playing a late night movie, Dukes of Hazard. When all of a sudden clear as a bell I heard the line of the narrator say, "When you're flying by the seat of your pants nothing sounds more official than a Plan B" and had flashback...
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Jennifer
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1
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554
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Desperately need ESH
(Preview)
My A fiance just walked out on me about an hour or so ago. I don't know where he is, if he's coming back, or what to do at this point. I did try and call him about a million times to find out if he's coming back. I don't like to be left in the air like this let alone sad and hurt. We had a disagreement and he just l...
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Ragdolls
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12
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961
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Hi, returning to the forum ...again
(Preview)
Hi , I thought I might introduce myself again. I'm English so I have found it hard to join in with the chat room meetings. The times are terrible for me. I used to use the chat room a lot when my husband was drinking. Ranting in the middle of the night to people who understood really helped me sleep and move in...
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mon123
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5
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733
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I think im starting to be touched by the hp
(Preview)
I am on a rollercoaster of emotions, after a rollercoaster relationship with my ex who is in NA and AA and been clean for 7 years almost. I have mentioned im pregnant and due in around 9 weeks to give birth. So hormones and the prospect of being alone when im quite vulnerable adds to my stress. I have thi...
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ayjay
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4
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754
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Moved out, but haven't moved on...
(Preview)
Finally have Internet set up in my new apartment. Most of you know I moved out of the house with my ex-abf - bf? I don't even know what is going on between us now... While I have MOVED out - I have not MOVED on. I am terrified to ask for space. Terrified of losing him forever - OR of him meeting someone else. Ther...
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RunnerChick
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12
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1008
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Is this insane?!
(Preview)
I don't know why I think I have to find a place for my A ex-husband to go to when I keep my promise that he must leave when he starts drinking again. (we're together in my house). The house use to be ours but due to his legal issues, the house was put in my name. He started drinking yesterday and I want him out. He...
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victoria
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7
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1061
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Happy Easter!
(Preview)
((((((Family))))), A very Happy Easter to all of you. The has risen and it is truely a glorious Sunday. Enjoy the day and all that it has to offer. Enjoy the promise of a new day and new beginnings. Hope springs eternal. I hope the Easter Bunny and Easter Beagle (remember Charilie Brown?) is extra g...
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Karilynn
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3
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549
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clarification to looking for a book
(Preview)
I guess I should have said that its an inner child book not an acoa book...sorry for the confusion.
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seekingserenity
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1
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549
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Need Op to chair tonights meeting
(Preview)
Can not chair tonights meeting would appreciate another op to chair Thanks kERry
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kerry5
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0
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516
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Hawaii calls...even without him...
(Preview)
So he left...What else is new? He has left and I have taken him back so many times, my door is coming off the hinges. This time I have made it clear to him that I do not want him back. Oh, I see some lonely days and nights ahead, but all in all, I have my life back and I feel good about my future. We had a trip to Ha...
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Diva
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15
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997
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