Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Rora · Rora

I got an early morning phone call from sibs saying that my Mother, who lives 6 hrs away and who has been in chronic pain for past month + has an unexplained fractured vertebrae and was taken to hospital. I'm worried about this, as there hasn't been a fall of any sort to explain this. I want to stay positiv...

bud · bud

post-divorce emotions, as I am- I decided I have a definite preference to be referred to as 'the first wife' as opposed to 'the ex-wife'. It is funny how something so small can strike us differently. I would like to think of it as tiny baby steps towards detachment. I may even make it half-way there b...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I don't think driving home into the sun after having my eyes dialated has anything to do with trust and faith but them maybe just in light of God watches over drunks and fools. I am still a work in progress in the stubborness area and the oppositional defiant arena. I remember my sponsor saying to me.....

flgirl · flgirl

Well it's taken me some time to actually get the courage to write this. This might be a little long but this is the biggest problem I've ever had and I have absolutely no one to talk to about it. I'm 26 years old-single mother (been in the relationship off and on for over 2 years)- I've had problems wit...

Aloha · Aloha

Ick ick ick. I think I need to un-friend my ex-AH or see if I can block a particular friend of his. Just feeling really triggered and it's all I can do to bite my tongue or keep my fingers from flying furiously on the keyboard. My ex-AH has an ex-girlfriend he's friended on Facebook a long time ago. This same...

Neece · Neece

Hello.....I'm new here. I've had this bothering me for some time now. I want to ask you for your opinion. Maybe I just do not want to admit my hubby is actually and alcoholic. I dated my hubby for 2 years prior to marrying him in April of this year. He is a very sweet and caring man. I knew he drank beer (...

lesa1 · lesa1

I wanted an honest opinion on this topic. I am married to a great guy and we have been together over 13 years, we have 4 children between us, all almost grown but one. My husband has been in recovery off and on 14 years ,mostly off, no use in over a year. Through all of our years together, I never went to alano...

AlaMom · AlaMom

I am struggling with a situation in my home over the past year that has steadily been getting worse & I am afraid that if I continue on the path that I am on I will do irreprable damage to a relationship. I have a 21 yr old son who for much of his life I have been close to. During his jr. high school years he s...

Jozie · Jozie

Funny how some things can get ya so excited, and yet so nervous at the same time ;) Recently, after learning more and more about the net and how to track people down, I got to thinking of a Friend Of Mine From my "Childhood" 0-11 yrs old .... I always admired her, she loved horses, as did I, she was...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Most of you will know from my previous posts that my AH has been alcohol dependant for last 6 or more years and his health has been in steep decline over the last 2 years. During this time he has put me and my son (learning disability, still at home) through the wringer. In August he came very close to dying a...

dori711 · dori711

There's been several lately, not for the drinking but for the emotional abuse that follows the morning after? There were flowers, and hugs and so many sorry's, but the apologies are becoming empty words that mean little. If he would try and stay cool for more than a couple of days, but it doesn't happ...

snodebb · snodebb

Gosh I am so angry but I knew the day was coming. I just wana scream and cry. yesterday was not a good day for me my aunt passed away after batttling cancer for the last 8 yrs my two teenage daughters were giving me problems so I think I am coming home from work today and sit down and have a nice time tonight ba...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Okay I got one!!...In 2 and ahalf hours I'll be sitting in the chair of a noted eye surgeon here in Hilo. We will be checking to see what we can do with my good eye. I have one good eye and with exceptions most of you have better, I assume. My other eye, (left) got damaged a year ago and I cannot use it and look...

caretaker · caretaker

Just joined and I am glad to be here and find some much needed support. I know a lot about alcoholism - my father was an alcoholic and died in an auto accident when I was a teen - as a result of his drinking. My mother, whom I no longer associate with is a prescription drug abuser and has been for 15 years. I d...

mom182 · mom182

I don't know where to begin. My oldest daughter, 25 years old, still lives here. That is when we see her. About a year ago, she was at the wrong place at the wrong time and was involved in a drug bust. 5 felony charges later due to different pills and parafanalia. We bailed her out. She has to go to drug...

rainbojo66 · rainbojo66

Good morning friends... I am stuck. Hoping someone has something to say that will unstick me. Since I came in, I feel like I have made so many changes, mostly to the way i treat myself. I spend time in the mornigns on Alanon stuff, pray, meditate..I really am trying hard. Maybe trying less would be better...

rainbojo66 · rainbojo66

I am 2 hours into the day...and so far everything is ok. I had a tremendous awareness yesterday, and I am sort of feeling "hung over"?? from the understanding. I went to get my kids (I couldn't stand it anymore). We had a great time, and bought a few movies out of the cheapie bins at walmart, new...

Sangyaa · Sangyaa

Hi everybody, just an update really. My boyfriend had been in a detox program last week, but left early against their advice. I had just been starting to feel a sense of peace, had been deep cleaning our apartment while he was gone, and was just about to start a long day's work on that project when I got a ca...

stariana · stariana

I am sorry to say that I haven't visited here in a while . . . my AH and I separated a year ago, and I have enjoyed the peace and serenity in my life selfishly. The reason for my post today is that I have a dear, dear friend (she's more than a friend, she's like a sister to me) that I believe is in BIG trouble. I thin...

Cloudsea · Cloudsea

Hi, everyone: My AH will have 3 months of sobriety on Oct. 4. He has seemed to be doing fine. He has a sponsor and goes to AA (though not everyday, but that's his issue; I try not to worry he is going too few times a week). When he was actively drinking, he would have these moods/spells were he was sort of b...

lmw · lmw

Haven't been on the boards for quite a while. I started a new job in mid-August and the kids went back to school on September 1st. It's been a challenge to get done what needs to be done, especially with all of the evening meetings (back to school, Girl Scouts, Cub Scouts, Religous Ed classes) over the p...

RLC · RLC

My son Lee called me this morning to let me know he had received word that he had passed the "Alabama Bar Exam". I am very proud of him. I told him this was the end of a journey......that was only beginning. HUGS, RLC P.S. Before he hung up he did tell me that his Dad's days of "free legal ad...

Diva · Diva

who fails a drug test upon her release from in-residence rehab of only 23 days. She uses the "disease" excuse, explaining that substance abuse IS a disease and an abuser cannot be expected to be "cured" quickly. What a convenient way to avoid taking responsibility for her ac...

Maize · Maize

She is texting me this morning about everything and does not want to hear anything Alanon. She doesn't see that what she is doing is enabling him and "saving" my abf. She is constantly checking his bank account, his phone record, and if she sees him out walking down the street she stops and...

lkristin · lkristin

Hi, I am new here. My husband has been struggling with drugs and alcohol for quite some time. He had been attending AA meetings, but it had gotten to the point where they weren't even helping. He went into detox this morning and then going straight over to a in patient rehab center. It is going to be probab...

kath · kath

On Thursdays and Fridays I become very tired from all the work I am doing during the week. I am happy that I have been doing so well in my college courses. I am taking my college one day at a time, which has relieved a lot of the burden off of me. Since my mother passed away in June of '08, I know what grief is and I...

dori711 · dori711

I have constantly gone to my husband and apologized time and time again. I often apologize for things that aren't even my doing. First I try to reason with him when that doesn't work I am usually the one that apologizes. Aren't we supposed to do this as part of the 12 steps. Isn't this making him feel...

BostonFern · BostonFern

Some people may consider my message here very dark and unpleasant. I'm just trying to understand what had happened to me. Please correct me if I had been wrong in my analysis here... I had befriended with several alanon friends, and have been surprised by their behaviors toward me. During the m...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

I'll give you a quick background. My brother just got out of jail Saturday AM. He was in for 60 days for violating parole (drinking). He was out for two weeks to the day before being picked up. Before that, he served a 1 year sentence for his 4th DUI. He served a 6 month sentence about two years ago for his 3rd...

clm · clm

First let me say I am thankful for a site like this where I can express my concerns and know you will share the benefit of your experience. My husband of 20 years has developed a binge drinking pattern and it really has me on edge. He is a well liked, professional man who is fortunately a funny, mellow dru...

lyndebi · lyndebi

I found this post made me uncomfortable. NO offense to my friend Diva. It is MY experience that we do not gossip about others here on MIP. She is no different than anyone else. She is sick. How many times do we read on here from our dear sis and bros that their A drank on the way home, or was back on drugs in a wee...

Maize · Maize

I have read about not letting people have power over me, and so I am working on this. I am important and for all of my life, I have never felt important. Til now. I have given up my power to everyone, my abusers as a child, friends, family, boyfriends, husbands.... I become enamored or intimidated by p...

Aloha · Aloha

I got a phone call yesterday from my ex-AH while I was at work. He told me he got some paperwork from the court and was wondering what it was. He made me nervous when he said it had a bunch of marks on it. I asked him "is it stamped?" He confirmed that the paperwork was stamped. That was GOOD news. It...

Maize · Maize

I am having a good day. I have felt strong all day. I have stayed in the moment here at work. I did not argue or let my ex-husband get to me this morning when he and I exchanged our son. My photography partner and I are working out our differences. I am in the moment. I feel pretty happy. My abf just call...

confused43 · confused43

A bit of background...I was married to an alcoholic for 19 years and have 3 kids with him. I finally left 3 years ago after living with it all of those years and him never being able to stop drinking for more than 2 weeks. He went downhill rapidly after I left him and was very angry and agressive towards me fo...

Julia · Julia

I need some advice on encouraging my 13 year old son to attend alanon for teens meetings. His father is an alcoholic. My son asked to attend alanon meetings over a year ago (that's how I got started attending the meetings for adults). He went to about five and decided (and rightly so) that the meeting...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Overall I'm feeling ok...better would be accurate too....I'm not as depressed as I was a few weeks back...I feel sort of numb....but there have been some positives I see in myself lately. 1. Time seems to have slowed down...I'm feeling more in the moment than I usually do. 2. I feel relaxed. 3. I've...

Christy · Christy

TO JERRYF!!! Have a wonderful day Jerry and thank you for being you!! YOU ROCK, BROTHER!!!!

Colnago Gal · Colnago Gal

Hello - I am very new to the concept of recovery and looking for advice (or affirmation or guidance)... My husband of 4 years is an alcoholic - but has not been able to admit it until recently - and it is this recent admission that I am struggling with. I have set boundaries only to give in with respect to h...

Maize · Maize

This has nothing to do with the ABF in my life. It has to do with my exhusband and his abusive ways still effecting me. Why do I let him have that kind of power over me? Today while we exchanged our child (I drive my son to meet the ex for school so I can get to work on time), he had a problem with what my son was w...

Jozie · Jozie

Still not Feeling OK... Sickness is lingering, I have been trying to move around a little more today, but just can't seem to find the energy to do it... Funny how when I am sick I can see all the things I never slow down to look at... Like ME for instantace... resently I have been SLOWLY Hacking away at my...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I have a doc appointment today at 11am. He has requested my presence. I had a bunch of blood work done a few weeks back and then was hospitalized for a few days with a lupus flare. He got results and wants me in the office. Never has this happened, usually over the phone is good. My mind is in overdrive....

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

This year's work is done. I have another deck i need to do next year but the one I targeted for this year is done. Did it come out great? Not really.....no carpenter is going to marvel at my skills. However I'd also say I'm not embarrassed by the work I did. Overall pretty decent, quite functional and...

kablisnow · kablisnow

I have realized while in this program just how happy I want to be and that this disease shatters all hope for that. I am sooo sick of the drama that comes from this and the endless lies and betrayals. Tonight I just realized that I dont have to be this unhappy and that this life was not chosen for me, it was cho...

dori711 · dori711

He still drinks several times a week. He says I blame him for everything and that there is something wrong with me and that the kids think so too and that I'm selfish. That really hurt but as I was thinking it over, I realized that I've been trying to help my husband and children with their problems almos...

MK · MK

I have been dealing with my 23 year old daughter off and on now for the past 6 years with her drinking. She will not get help and has already gone through a program. She says she will not stop .

stopandchat · stopandchat

It's been one helluva week! But, by the grace of God and thanks to the program and you wonderful people here at MIP, I'm doing pretty good. I think my AH is the worse he's ever been. He's been to the hospital 3 times this week for alcohol poisoning - has walked out each time against medical advice. The last t...

DreamXL · DreamXL

I guess I just feel to share this after reading "but for the grace of god go I" post. My son who is now 18 and in his first year of college was very affected by something that his high school did every three months. Two AA speakers came to share their stories in the auditorium every three months...

cleanlivin · cleanlivin

Hi All....Long story short..... My husband has been abusing alcohol for years. He doesn't get physical or mean, he's just "that" drunk guy at a social event. He's blacked out, passed out and always swears he's going to get help when he sobers up. He hasn't and just seems unhappy with his lif...

Maize · Maize

I will be reading all of the posts I missed today when I get home tonight... But for now, I just wanted to say that my exhusband (the abusive one) was stirring up crap today. At first for about 10 minutes, it really bothered me. Then somehow, I began to look at it a different way. I was able to turn it arou...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

So today I followed through on what I had threatened and thought about for the past few months now. I left. The apartment looked so sad with my stuff gone. My xbf-sober has 9 years but most of it was just as a dry drunk. The past few months he had been making meetings on a regular basis and recently got a...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

Hey Everyone! It's been a while since I've been on here. I've been busy working my program with an amazing Sponsor. I'm checking to see if anyone can recommend some Al-Anon literature for me. So far I've read: Paths to Recovery How Al-Anon Works From Survival to Recovery Discovering Choices Forum F...

Gaia · Gaia

I posted another thread about looking for a timer...but this made me wonder... How does your f2f (if you have one) deal with time? Is it open time sharing? Or do you set a time boundary? In what way? And if yes, how do you "enforce" it? And if someone continually takes up more than their a...

John · John

As many of you know, my life is dedicated to trying to provide a safe haven for alcoholics, addicts and their families who have a desire to recover; Both online with the MIP web site and here in Wilmington, NC with the MIP recovery homes. Well, this past Friday I came home to find the police (7 cars) in fr...

Jozie · Jozie

Feeling Rather Blaahhh Zayyy Today :( Think I have caught the latest "bug" that has been pasted around through out my family and today is def. my day for it :( My Weekend left me with ALOT of Growing in the program, and using my tools, Had plans for a little over a month, (and put down some things...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((Friends))))))))))))) Took my mom today to get a biopsy of her tongue. We woln't know the results until Wednesday. I am asking all to send a prayer please. She is the glue that holds this family together. She is sometimes a pain in my rear but I love her with all I am. My mom is giving, caring, lo...

dcjjp1 · dcjjp1

Let me bend you ear for a few minutes with my story... My partner and I have been together for just under 7 yrs now I am 40 and he is 36, I used to be a partier and go out often years ago and that's how we met and got together. Fast forward 6.5 yrs later and now I don't go out often (I own my own business and am extre...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi all, As many of you have read my posts, my AH has really been struggling this past week to put down the bottle. He ended up going back to the ER last Friday night (4th time in one week), and his vitals were so unstable he ended up in the ICU. He's still there. He plans to go into inpatient rehab (again) once h...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I just want to share a recent event, and am hoping for some input. My son is 17. He is immature for his age, and hangs with kids a year younger Overall, they are good kids (Boy Scouts and decent students) from families I respect. One family has a trailer out at the beach, and allowed their son to invite 4 fr...

Gaia · Gaia

I'm looking for a quet/low volume timer for our f2f meeting. People hate being interrupted by a loud beep or loud beeps when their time is up -- I've looked at meditation timers but they're very expensive. Does anyone have a timer they use for their meeting that is not obnoxious?

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A tough day just sort of snuck up on me... (Preview) I got an early morning phone call from sibs saying that my Mother, who lives 6 hrs away and who has been in chronic pain for past month + has an unexplained fractured vertebrae and was taken to hospital. I'm worried about this, as there hasn't been a fall of any sort to explain this. I want to stay positiv...	Rora	5	809	Sep 26, 2010 by xeno59
	For those that are struggling with... (Preview) post-divorce emotions, as I am- I decided I have a definite preference to be referred to as 'the first wife' as opposed to 'the ex-wife'. It is funny how something so small can strike us differently. I would like to think of it as tiny baby steps towards detachment. I may even make it half-way there b...	bud	9	766	Sep 26, 2010 by tlcate
	Trust and Faith #2 (Preview) I don't think driving home into the sun after having my eyes dialated has anything to do with trust and faith but them maybe just in light of God watches over drunks and fools. I am still a work in progress in the stubborness area and the oppositional defiant arena. I remember my sponsor saying to me.....	Jerry F	15	870	Sep 26, 2010 by troyc
	Please help, I'm pregnant, he's an alcoholic and I'm getting very depressed.. (Preview) Well it's taken me some time to actually get the courage to write this. This might be a little long but this is the biggest problem I've ever had and I have absolutely no one to talk to about it. I'm 26 years old-single mother (been in the relationship off and on for over 2 years)- I've had problems wit...	flgirl	9	853	Sep 25, 2010 by flgirl
	Divorce in the Facebook era... (Preview) Ick ick ick. I think I need to un-friend my ex-AH or see if I can block a particular friend of his. Just feeling really triggered and it's all I can do to bite my tongue or keep my fingers from flying furiously on the keyboard. My ex-AH has an ex-girlfriend he's friended on Facebook a long time ago. This same...	Aloha	9	1224	Sep 25, 2010 by xeno59
	Do you think my hubby is an A? (Preview) Hello.....I'm new here. I've had this bothering me for some time now. I want to ask you for your opinion. Maybe I just do not want to admit my hubby is actually and alcoholic. I dated my hubby for 2 years prior to marrying him in April of this year. He is a very sweet and caring man. I knew he drank beer (...	Neece	8	775	Sep 25, 2010 by xeno59
	My codependent self really messed up a friendship???? (Preview) I wanted an honest opinion on this topic. I am married to a great guy and we have been together over 13 years, we have 4 children between us, all almost grown but one. My husband has been in recovery off and on 14 years ,mostly off, no use in over a year. Through all of our years together, I never went to alano...	lesa1	5	951	Sep 25, 2010 by xeno59
	Sins of the Father (Preview) I am struggling with a situation in my home over the past year that has steadily been getting worse & I am afraid that if I continue on the path that I am on I will do irreprable damage to a relationship. I have a 21 yr old son who for much of his life I have been close to. During his jr. high school years he s...	AlaMom	6	731	Sep 25, 2010 by xeno59
	Still Finding Pieces of my Past (Preview) Funny how some things can get ya so excited, and yet so nervous at the same time ;) Recently, after learning more and more about the net and how to track people down, I got to thinking of a Friend Of Mine From my "Childhood" 0-11 yrs old .... I always admired her, she loved horses, as did I, she was...	Jozie	4	1210	Sep 25, 2010 by xeno59
	Where is my spirit of forgiveness? (Preview) Most of you will know from my previous posts that my AH has been alcohol dependant for last 6 or more years and his health has been in steep decline over the last 2 years. During this time he has put me and my son (learning disability, still at home) through the wringer. In August he came very close to dying a...	Tattyhead	6	518	Sep 25, 2010 by Tattyhead
	How do you handle an A's apology? (Preview) There's been several lately, not for the drinking but for the emotional abuse that follows the morning after? There were flowers, and hugs and so many sorry's, but the apologies are becoming empty words that mean little. If he would try and stay cool for more than a couple of days, but it doesn't happ...	dori711	16	4215	Sep 25, 2010 by snodebb
	I'm so angry right now!!! I don't want to be (Preview) Gosh I am so angry but I knew the day was coming. I just wana scream and cry. yesterday was not a good day for me my aunt passed away after batttling cancer for the last 8 yrs my two teenage daughters were giving me problems so I think I am coming home from work today and sit down and have a nice time tonight ba...	snodebb	8	1078	Sep 25, 2010 by Cloudsea
	Faith and Trust... (Preview) Okay I got one!!...In 2 and ahalf hours I'll be sitting in the chair of a noted eye surgeon here in Hilo. We will be checking to see what we can do with my good eye. I have one good eye and with exceptions most of you have better, I assume. My other eye, (left) got damaged a year ago and I cannot use it and look...	Jerry F	10	1315	Sep 25, 2010 by Maize
	New and could use advice (Preview) Just joined and I am glad to be here and find some much needed support. I know a lot about alcoholism - my father was an alcoholic and died in an auto accident when I was a teen - as a result of his drinking. My mother, whom I no longer associate with is a prescription drug abuser and has been for 15 years. I d...	caretaker	7	1038	Sep 25, 2010 by abbyal
	All, I can say is help??? (Preview) I don't know where to begin. My oldest daughter, 25 years old, still lives here. That is when we see her. About a year ago, she was at the wrong place at the wrong time and was involved in a drug bust. 5 felony charges later due to different pills and parafanalia. We bailed her out. She has to go to drug...	mom182	9	1013	Sep 24, 2010 by mom182
	one day at a time...? (Preview) Good morning friends... I am stuck. Hoping someone has something to say that will unstick me. Since I came in, I feel like I have made so many changes, mostly to the way i treat myself. I spend time in the mornigns on Alanon stuff, pray, meditate..I really am trying hard. Maybe trying less would be better...	rainbojo66	9	864	Sep 24, 2010 by kitty
	feeling invisible... (Preview) I am 2 hours into the day...and so far everything is ok. I had a tremendous awareness yesterday, and I am sort of feeling "hung over"?? from the understanding. I went to get my kids (I couldn't stand it anymore). We had a great time, and bought a few movies out of the cheapie bins at walmart, new...	rainbojo66	9	879	Sep 24, 2010 by kitty
	Abf entering detox/inpatient treatment Thursday! (Preview) Hi everybody, just an update really. My boyfriend had been in a detox program last week, but left early against their advice. I had just been starting to feel a sense of peace, had been deep cleaning our apartment while he was gone, and was just about to start a long day's work on that project when I got a ca...	Sangyaa	7	623	Sep 24, 2010 by Sangyaa
	best friend in trouble - help!!! (Preview) I am sorry to say that I haven't visited here in a while . . . my AH and I separated a year ago, and I have enjoyed the peace and serenity in my life selfishly. The reason for my post today is that I have a dear, dear friend (she's more than a friend, she's like a sister to me) that I believe is in BIG trouble. I thin...	stariana	6	664	Sep 24, 2010 by stariana
	Recovering AH with moods -- depression, possibly panic?? (Preview) Hi, everyone: My AH will have 3 months of sobriety on Oct. 4. He has seemed to be doing fine. He has a sponsor and goes to AA (though not everyday, but that's his issue; I try not to worry he is going too few times a week). When he was actively drinking, he would have these moods/spells were he was sort of b...	Cloudsea	8	1210	Sep 24, 2010 by Cloudsea
	checking in... (Preview) Haven't been on the boards for quite a while. I started a new job in mid-August and the kids went back to school on September 1st. It's been a challenge to get done what needs to be done, especially with all of the evening meetings (back to school, Girl Scouts, Cub Scouts, Religous Ed classes) over the p...	lmw	3	582	Sep 24, 2010 by Karilynn
	Good News !! (Preview) My son Lee called me this morning to let me know he had received word that he had passed the "Alabama Bar Exam". I am very proud of him. I told him this was the end of a journey......that was only beginning. HUGS, RLC P.S. Before he hung up he did tell me that his Dad's days of "free legal ad...	RLC	8	737	Sep 24, 2010 by Karilynn
	And then we have young Lindsay Lohan..... (Preview) who fails a drug test upon her release from in-residence rehab of only 23 days. She uses the "disease" excuse, explaining that substance abuse IS a disease and an abuser cannot be expected to be "cured" quickly. What a convenient way to avoid taking responsibility for her ac...	Diva	5	1105	Sep 24, 2010 by Andrea12
	What can I say to his mom??? (Preview) She is texting me this morning about everything and does not want to hear anything Alanon. She doesn't see that what she is doing is enabling him and "saving" my abf. She is constantly checking his bank account, his phone record, and if she sees him out walking down the street she stops and...	Maize	8	781	Sep 23, 2010 by lyndebi
	lonely (Preview) Hi, I am new here. My husband has been struggling with drugs and alcohol for quite some time. He had been attending AA meetings, but it had gotten to the point where they weren't even helping. He went into detox this morning and then going straight over to a in patient rehab center. It is going to be probab...	lkristin	6	620	Sep 23, 2010 by DreamXL
	end of the week (Preview) On Thursdays and Fridays I become very tired from all the work I am doing during the week. I am happy that I have been doing so well in my college courses. I am taking my college one day at a time, which has relieved a lot of the burden off of me. Since my mother passed away in June of '08, I know what grief is and I...	kath	4	481	Sep 23, 2010 by kath
	I don't understand the 12 steps? (Preview) I have constantly gone to my husband and apologized time and time again. I often apologize for things that aren't even my doing. First I try to reason with him when that doesn't work I am usually the one that apologizes. Aren't we supposed to do this as part of the 12 steps. Isn't this making him feel...	dori711	14	969	Sep 23, 2010 by wp
	Is there a danger of sharing too much? (Preview) Some people may consider my message here very dark and unpleasant. I'm just trying to understand what had happened to me. Please correct me if I had been wrong in my analysis here... I had befriended with several alanon friends, and have been surprised by their behaviors toward me. During the m...	BostonFern	15	1330	Sep 23, 2010 by wp
	Am I an enabler? (Preview) I'll give you a quick background. My brother just got out of jail Saturday AM. He was in for 60 days for violating parole (drinking). He was out for two weeks to the day before being picked up. Before that, he served a 1 year sentence for his 4th DUI. He served a 6 month sentence about two years ago for his 3rd...	NCSUgeology	14	3348	Sep 23, 2010 by wp
	Binge drinking becoming greater (Preview) First let me say I am thankful for a site like this where I can express my concerns and know you will share the benefit of your experience. My husband of 20 years has developed a binge drinking pattern and it really has me on edge. He is a well liked, professional man who is fortunately a funny, mellow dru...	clm	7	1449	Sep 23, 2010 by clm
	Concerning posting about the sick actress (Preview) I found this post made me uncomfortable. NO offense to my friend Diva. It is MY experience that we do not gossip about others here on MIP. She is no different than anyone else. She is sick. How many times do we read on here from our dear sis and bros that their A drank on the way home, or was back on drugs in a wee...	lyndebi	9	980	Sep 23, 2010 by prisca
	Owning my power.... (Preview) I have read about not letting people have power over me, and so I am working on this. I am important and for all of my life, I have never felt important. Til now. I have given up my power to everyone, my abusers as a child, friends, family, boyfriends, husbands.... I become enamored or intimidated by p...	Maize	2	433	Sep 23, 2010 by Maize
	My divorce is now final (Preview) I got a phone call yesterday from my ex-AH while I was at work. He told me he got some paperwork from the court and was wondering what it was. He made me nervous when he said it had a bunch of marks on it. I asked him "is it stamped?" He confirmed that the paperwork was stamped. That was GOOD news. It...	Aloha	9	1044	Sep 23, 2010 by xeno59
	Ok....please help me with some ES&H.... (Preview) I am having a good day. I have felt strong all day. I have stayed in the moment here at work. I did not argue or let my ex-husband get to me this morning when he and I exchanged our son. My photography partner and I are working out our differences. I am in the moment. I feel pretty happy. My abf just call...	Maize	14	711	Sep 23, 2010 by Cloudsea
	I am a mess as my ex attempts to make amends.... (Preview) A bit of background...I was married to an alcoholic for 19 years and have 3 kids with him. I finally left 3 years ago after living with it all of those years and him never being able to stop drinking for more than 2 weeks. He went downhill rapidly after I left him and was very angry and agressive towards me fo...	confused43	10	4894	Sep 22, 2010 by confused43
	Advice on Encouraging Teenage Son to Attend Alanon for Teen Meetings (Preview) I need some advice on encouraging my 13 year old son to attend alanon for teens meetings. His father is an alcoholic. My son asked to attend alanon meetings over a year ago (that's how I got started attending the meetings for adults). He went to about five and decided (and rightly so) that the meeting...	Julia	5	1009	Sep 22, 2010 by Andrea12
	ups and downs.... (Preview) Overall I'm feeling ok...better would be accurate too....I'm not as depressed as I was a few weeks back...I feel sort of numb....but there have been some positives I see in myself lately. 1. Time seems to have slowed down...I'm feeling more in the moment than I usually do. 2. I feel relaxed. 3. I've...	mjhyankees	6	515	Sep 22, 2010 by mjhyankees
	HAAPPY BIRTHDAY!! (Preview) TO JERRYF!!! Have a wonderful day Jerry and thank you for being you!! YOU ROCK, BROTHER!!!!	Christy	19	1519	Sep 22, 2010 by Maize
	Newbie - advice (Preview) Hello - I am very new to the concept of recovery and looking for advice (or affirmation or guidance)... My husband of 4 years is an alcoholic - but has not been able to admit it until recently - and it is this recent admission that I am struggling with. I have set boundaries only to give in with respect to h...	Colnago Gal	7	659	Sep 22, 2010 by Mary Glen Scot
	Having a hard day... I don't know anymore (Preview) This has nothing to do with the ABF in my life. It has to do with my exhusband and his abusive ways still effecting me. Why do I let him have that kind of power over me? Today while we exchanged our child (I drive my son to meet the ex for school so I can get to work on time), he had a problem with what my son was w...	Maize	9	757	Sep 22, 2010 by Maize
	In need of Alone Fun :) (Preview) Still not Feeling OK... Sickness is lingering, I have been trying to move around a little more today, but just can't seem to find the energy to do it... Funny how when I am sick I can see all the things I never slow down to look at... Like ME for instantace... resently I have been SLOWLY Hacking away at my...	Jozie	7	660	Sep 21, 2010 by Jerry F
	Let God know I'm not so bad.... (Preview) I have a doc appointment today at 11am. He has requested my presence. I had a bunch of blood work done a few weeks back and then was hospitalized for a few days with a lupus flare. He got results and wants me in the office. Never has this happened, usually over the phone is good. My mind is in overdrive....	lizzakiss	6	874	Sep 21, 2010 by Christy
	For anyone interested: Deck update.... (Preview) This year's work is done. I have another deck i need to do next year but the one I targeted for this year is done. Did it come out great? Not really.....no carpenter is going to marvel at my skills. However I'd also say I'm not embarrassed by the work I did. Overall pretty decent, quite functional and...	mjhyankees	3	680	Sep 21, 2010 by lyndebi
	I want to leave today...hope I can (Preview) I have realized while in this program just how happy I want to be and that this disease shatters all hope for that. I am sooo sick of the drama that comes from this and the endless lies and betrayals. Tonight I just realized that I dont have to be this unhappy and that this life was not chosen for me, it was cho...	kablisnow	4	722	Sep 21, 2010 by Maize
	It's all my fault (Preview) He still drinks several times a week. He says I blame him for everything and that there is something wrong with me and that the kids think so too and that I'm selfish. That really hurt but as I was thinking it over, I realized that I've been trying to help my husband and children with their problems almos...	dori711	13	1262	Sep 21, 2010 by dori711
	New and not sure what to do.... (Preview) I have been dealing with my 23 year old daughter off and on now for the past 6 years with her drinking. She will not get help and has already gone through a program. She says she will not stop .	MK	7	855	Sep 21, 2010 by xeno59
	Surprisingly, I'm at peace right now... (Preview) It's been one helluva week! But, by the grace of God and thanks to the program and you wonderful people here at MIP, I'm doing pretty good. I think my AH is the worse he's ever been. He's been to the hospital 3 times this week for alcohol poisoning - has walked out each time against medical advice. The last t...	stopandchat	9	699	Sep 21, 2010 by Maize
	No idea what to call this topic :) (Preview) I guess I just feel to share this after reading "but for the grace of god go I" post. My son who is now 18 and in his first year of college was very affected by something that his high school did every three months. Two AA speakers came to share their stories in the auditorium every three months...	DreamXL	7	618	Sep 21, 2010 by rainbojo66
	Need Advice ASAP! (Preview) Hi All....Long story short..... My husband has been abusing alcohol for years. He doesn't get physical or mean, he's just "that" drunk guy at a social event. He's blacked out, passed out and always swears he's going to get help when he sobers up. He hasn't and just seems unhappy with his lif...	cleanlivin	8	1132	Sep 21, 2010 by hotrod
	Not letting it bother me (Preview) I will be reading all of the posts I missed today when I get home tonight... But for now, I just wanted to say that my exhusband (the abusive one) was stirring up crap today. At first for about 10 minutes, it really bothered me. Then somehow, I began to look at it a different way. I was able to turn it arou...	Maize	3	709	Sep 20, 2010 by tlcate
	I left him (Preview) So today I followed through on what I had threatened and thought about for the past few months now. I left. The apartment looked so sad with my stuff gone. My xbf-sober has 9 years but most of it was just as a dry drunk. The past few months he had been making meetings on a regular basis and recently got a...	lizzakiss	15	1198	Sep 20, 2010 by tlcate
	Literature Suggestion (Preview) Hey Everyone! It's been a while since I've been on here. I've been busy working my program with an amazing Sponsor. I'm checking to see if anyone can recommend some Al-Anon literature for me. So far I've read: Paths to Recovery How Al-Anon Works From Survival to Recovery Discovering Choices Forum F...	N8SMOM	5	610	Sep 20, 2010 by tlcate
	Amount of time to share? How does your f2f group do it? (Preview) I posted another thread about looking for a timer...but this made me wonder... How does your f2f (if you have one) deal with time? Is it open time sharing? Or do you set a time boundary? In what way? And if yes, how do you "enforce" it? And if someone continually takes up more than their a...	Gaia	4	2925	Sep 20, 2010 by hotrod
	Frustrated and Hurt (Preview) As many of you know, my life is dedicated to trying to provide a safe haven for alcoholics, addicts and their families who have a desire to recover; Both online with the MIP web site and here in Wilmington, NC with the MIP recovery homes. Well, this past Friday I came home to find the police (7 cars) in fr...	John	20	984	Sep 20, 2010 by hotrod
	One of those Days... (Preview) Feeling Rather Blaahhh Zayyy Today :( Think I have caught the latest "bug" that has been pasted around through out my family and today is def. my day for it :( My Weekend left me with ALOT of Growing in the program, and using my tools, Had plans for a little over a month, (and put down some things...	Jozie	3	729	Sep 20, 2010 by hotrod
	In Need of Some Prayers Please (Preview) (((((((Friends))))))))))))) Took my mom today to get a biopsy of her tongue. We woln't know the results until Wednesday. I am asking all to send a prayer please. She is the glue that holds this family together. She is sometimes a pain in my rear but I love her with all I am. My mom is giving, caring, lo...	Andrea12	15	1059	Sep 20, 2010 by hotrod
	New (Preview) Let me bend you ear for a few minutes with my story... My partner and I have been together for just under 7 yrs now I am 40 and he is 36, I used to be a partier and go out often years ago and that's how we met and got together. Fast forward 6.5 yrs later and now I don't go out often (I own my own business and am extre...	dcjjp1	4	712	Sep 20, 2010 by maresie
	Feeling guilty about leaving my AH... (Preview) Hi all, As many of you have read my posts, my AH has really been struggling this past week to put down the bottle. He ended up going back to the ER last Friday night (4th time in one week), and his vitals were so unstable he ended up in the ICU. He's still there. He plans to go into inpatient rehab (again) once h...	stopandchat	6	646	Sep 20, 2010 by Bettina
	But for the Grace of God go I... (Preview) I just want to share a recent event, and am hoping for some input. My son is 17. He is immature for his age, and hangs with kids a year younger Overall, they are good kids (Boy Scouts and decent students) from families I respect. One family has a trailer out at the beach, and allowed their son to invite 4 fr...	Loupiness	5	948	Sep 20, 2010 by Karilynn
	Looking for a quiet low volume timer for f2f meeting...anybody have a suggestion? (Preview) I'm looking for a quet/low volume timer for our f2f meeting. People hate being interrupted by a loud beep or loud beeps when their time is up -- I've looked at meditation timers but they're very expensive. Does anyone have a timer they use for their meeting that is not obnoxious?	Gaia	6	1304	Sep 20, 2010 by abbyal
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.