Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

Do you just let it happen? Even if there is a chance of death from the combo of beer and bipolar meds? Do you step in then? I understand the need to let nature take it's course, but where do you draw the line and ask for legal help?

michele1 · michele1

My husband has been an alcoholic for almost 5 years. I've been trying to get him to stop for years. I tried sending him to AA- he wouldn't stick with it. He has repeatedly lied to me about stopping and cutting back. I've tried taking away his debit cards- he finds other ways to get money. Within the last...

Sangyaa · Sangyaa

Hi everyone, My abf has been in a detox center since Monday (he'll be there for a week and from there he has an escort to inpatient treatment). If someone had asked me how I was doing last week, I would've said "fine". It took being alone for more than 24 hours for me to realize that I'm NOT fine at...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

Hi everyone, This is my first post here and I don't even know if this is the kind of topic to start here, but I am just wondering..... I am so in love with my fiance but his drinking is getting worse.... maybe it's always been this bad but since we are living together I am seeing it more? I think he's trying to d...

Ginger90 · Ginger90

Whew, I need help detaching from my 18 year old daughter. She has chosen to leave and move in with her boyfriend and his family. She left with a lot of hurt and anger amongst everyone. I realize it is her life and she has every right to live it how she sees fit but I don't think it's fair for her to expect us t...

caretaker · caretaker

I have a question, well lots of questions, but this one is a big one for me. I had mentioned in an earlier post about going to f2f meetings and not feeling comfortable there. I saw my alcoholic sister through 30 days of rehab, plus lived through my father's alcoholism until he was killed and then lived w...

queenie105 · queenie105

Last year my AH relapsed and went on a major bender, cleared out his retirement account and left me. Within two months, he got 3 dwi's in 3 different counties. In any event, he did jail time, was in a special program in the jail for alcoholism, I took him back in after jail cause it seemed he was working a p...

dori711 · dori711

Yeh, I found a location fairly close to me that is holding an alanon meeting tomorrow morning at 10 am. I was so happy, now I'm having second thoughts, what will I have to do when I walk in. I hope they don't ask me to speak or anything? What will happen? Maybe this is the best thing I can do for me. I'm so...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok So Yesterday I told ya Of my wonderful News About becomiing a Grandma Again... WELL.. Step Son Didn't make me suffer to long 1st let me tell you a "Breif" story... :) My Have Bonston Terrier Dogs, (3), They are My Children, and everyone in my family is aware of that as well... Well I bread m...

Aloha · Aloha

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_fea_lifestyles_aa_s_big_book Check it out. It's very interesting reading about all the revisions and how the early writers of the Big Book really sp...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I`am so frustrated as I talk with her and listen to her talk about her life. I`am sorry but there is no serenity today as there was no serenity the other day when I realize there is just no limits to her denial. When I think just the other day we had seen a counselor together that said directly to her, &qu...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Okay...love to hear a vote. I will try to get through this without using any four-letter words. So I stuck by my AH through ten years of BS. Then, he quits his anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs. Now he can't work b/c of the withdrawal. So here I am supporting him financially. I get the phonebill an...

Aloha · Aloha

I was feeling really low on Sunday. Just had something that didn't go as planned set me off on a good cry - something I probably needed, anyhow. Monday I woke up still feeling emotionally hung-over from the previous day. My head taking me back to old injuries from living with my now exAH. His sneaky behav...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

But it happens when I'm not around and there is nothing i can do about it other than damage control. She told me a few hours ago that "mommy calls me names and calls me fat (she's not at all) when she gets mad". What the hell am I supposed to do with that. I just told her it wasn't true, that when...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Given marital issues and wife's behavior (and perhaps mine) at times (I can't say she's horrible all the time) my daughter is being adversely affected of course. Talked about this in therapy and commented how I feel like I'm failing her. My therapist reminded me that I'm doing all I can and that I'm p...

Maize · Maize

You had a post about body language that really interested me a couple of weeks ago and I am just now figuring it out. I guess I just realized that I have been reading people's body language all my life due to what I have been through. I always thought I was kind of "reading people's thoughts",...

jewel91 · jewel91

I have a diary, an online blog, a computer diary (a MS document that I record my thoughts on) and I occasionally post here... I'm doing a whole lot of thinking. Everyday is a struggle for me I have tried to go to an F2F meeting but they don't have them any more in my area. The ladies that I called to get more inf...

caretaker · caretaker

Is it normal to not have feelings or for your feelings to be muted or numb? I grew up in a highly dysfunctional home with an alcoholic father and a mother who borderline personality disorder mother, who eventually and is currently addicted to Rx meds. Now that I am in my early 40's it seems like I just wal...

lyndebi · lyndebi

I decided after this last bout of depression and pain, that I am not going to put myself in hurtful situations anymore. Being alone, I had learned to "take care of things" that emotionally were breaking my heart. ex: euthanizing my own animals when suffering, burying them. Fixing heavy bi...

kitty · kitty

Hello, we chatted today and this was the nick name you used in chat. Please PM me when u see this message, as the email addy did not work for some reason, so the file came back to me. I didnt forget you! You can PM me here by clicking on my user name and I will immediately re-send u the info you wanted.

prisca · prisca

Im fairly new to the program, and still have a lot swirling around me, having a tough time finding a stable place to land. I understand it will take time to build a new foundation, that parts of the old one that worked fairly well for me for a long time, have crumbled and Im not going to be able (nor should I)...

John · John

Hi everyone, I have been nominated by someone (anonomously) to to go to jail "FOR GOOD" in an effort to help the MDA raise funds for "Jerry's Kids". My bail will be 2500.00 dollars and all of it will go directly to the MDA. I accepted this opportunity to make a difference in the life of someone else. I...

AlaMom · AlaMom

I haven't felt the way I feel in a very long time. I am feeling very anxious, scared, and insecure with my finanacial picture. I lost my job in May, ex AH stopped paying child support a month ago & now we are concerned that my husband my loose his job very soon. I am trying not to project. I am trying to con...

Jerry F · Jerry F

When I first got into Al-Anon and we use to read the definition of alcoholism, only one part of that definition mentioned that alcoholism affects everyone it comes into contact with and I pretty much accepted that. Over the years I have been here I have had daily affirmation that it was true and contin...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I'm really bottoming out today....I haven't felt this depressed in a few weeks. This stuff about my daughter (which I managed to not think about for a few weeks) is really bothering me now. Which brings me to the happiness concept. I still don't get how you can be happy when things are going wrong. A...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

ON SAT. I WENT TO A VERY LOVELY SPEAKER CRUISE. I WENT LAST YR. BUT THIS WAS MUCH BETTER & MORE SPIRITUAL FEELING. THE DAY WAS PERFECT--ALMOST 80 DEGREES. I EVEN LET MY HUSBAND GO--HA! HA! I ACTUALLY TALKED HIM OUT OF GOING FOR SELFISH REASONS LAST YR. I WAS REALLY GLAD HE WAS THERE BECAUSE HE WAS A GOOD...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

My brother has been on a binge since Wednesday where he can't talk, and can barely walk. He'll get plastered, pass out, then walk down to the store after he wakes up to get more beer, and the cycle starts all over again. I got a call from someone on the street last night that said he knocked on their door to...

MissyPoo · MissyPoo

Hi everyone.. just checking in. Things with me are great! Have been going to the gym 3 times a week for 6 months now..lot some weight, gained some self confidence. I am getting happier with me. Progress not perfection is what is driving me this time, so I am not getting discouraged by the fact that th...

kath · kath

I am having trouble getting past something that happened today. I lost it during class when I was sharing about the death of my mother. I started crying and could not stop. We were having an open discussion during one of my classes and I felt the need to share, but now I am embarassed and afraid of what peo...

snodebb · snodebb

Is there anything online for my teens to let their voices be heard. I can't get them to read any books, or go to meetings. They have had counciling when AH was in Serenity Lane for ReHab (waste of money) The councilor said they were handling it all quite well in fact they handle it better than me. They ar...

Rora · Rora

I got an early morning phone call from sibs saying that my Mother, who lives 6 hrs away and who has been in chronic pain for past month + has an unexplained fractured vertebrae and was taken to hospital. I'm worried about this, as there hasn't been a fall of any sort to explain this. I want to stay positiv...

bud · bud

post-divorce emotions, as I am- I decided I have a definite preference to be referred to as 'the first wife' as opposed to 'the ex-wife'. It is funny how something so small can strike us differently. I would like to think of it as tiny baby steps towards detachment. I may even make it half-way there b...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I don't think driving home into the sun after having my eyes dialated has anything to do with trust and faith but them maybe just in light of God watches over drunks and fools. I am still a work in progress in the stubborness area and the oppositional defiant arena. I remember my sponsor saying to me.....

flgirl · flgirl

Well it's taken me some time to actually get the courage to write this. This might be a little long but this is the biggest problem I've ever had and I have absolutely no one to talk to about it. I'm 26 years old-single mother (been in the relationship off and on for over 2 years)- I've had problems wit...

Aloha · Aloha

Ick ick ick. I think I need to un-friend my ex-AH or see if I can block a particular friend of his. Just feeling really triggered and it's all I can do to bite my tongue or keep my fingers from flying furiously on the keyboard. My ex-AH has an ex-girlfriend he's friended on Facebook a long time ago. This same...

Neece · Neece

Hello.....I'm new here. I've had this bothering me for some time now. I want to ask you for your opinion. Maybe I just do not want to admit my hubby is actually and alcoholic. I dated my hubby for 2 years prior to marrying him in April of this year. He is a very sweet and caring man. I knew he drank beer (...

lesa1 · lesa1

I wanted an honest opinion on this topic. I am married to a great guy and we have been together over 13 years, we have 4 children between us, all almost grown but one. My husband has been in recovery off and on 14 years ,mostly off, no use in over a year. Through all of our years together, I never went to alano...

AlaMom · AlaMom

I am struggling with a situation in my home over the past year that has steadily been getting worse & I am afraid that if I continue on the path that I am on I will do irreprable damage to a relationship. I have a 21 yr old son who for much of his life I have been close to. During his jr. high school years he s...

Jozie · Jozie

Funny how some things can get ya so excited, and yet so nervous at the same time ;) Recently, after learning more and more about the net and how to track people down, I got to thinking of a Friend Of Mine From my "Childhood" 0-11 yrs old .... I always admired her, she loved horses, as did I, she was...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Most of you will know from my previous posts that my AH has been alcohol dependant for last 6 or more years and his health has been in steep decline over the last 2 years. During this time he has put me and my son (learning disability, still at home) through the wringer. In August he came very close to dying a...

dori711 · dori711

There's been several lately, not for the drinking but for the emotional abuse that follows the morning after? There were flowers, and hugs and so many sorry's, but the apologies are becoming empty words that mean little. If he would try and stay cool for more than a couple of days, but it doesn't happ...

snodebb · snodebb

Gosh I am so angry but I knew the day was coming. I just wana scream and cry. yesterday was not a good day for me my aunt passed away after batttling cancer for the last 8 yrs my two teenage daughters were giving me problems so I think I am coming home from work today and sit down and have a nice time tonight ba...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Okay I got one!!...In 2 and ahalf hours I'll be sitting in the chair of a noted eye surgeon here in Hilo. We will be checking to see what we can do with my good eye. I have one good eye and with exceptions most of you have better, I assume. My other eye, (left) got damaged a year ago and I cannot use it and look...

caretaker · caretaker

Just joined and I am glad to be here and find some much needed support. I know a lot about alcoholism - my father was an alcoholic and died in an auto accident when I was a teen - as a result of his drinking. My mother, whom I no longer associate with is a prescription drug abuser and has been for 15 years. I d...

mom182 · mom182

I don't know where to begin. My oldest daughter, 25 years old, still lives here. That is when we see her. About a year ago, she was at the wrong place at the wrong time and was involved in a drug bust. 5 felony charges later due to different pills and parafanalia. We bailed her out. She has to go to drug...

rainbojo66 · rainbojo66

Good morning friends... I am stuck. Hoping someone has something to say that will unstick me. Since I came in, I feel like I have made so many changes, mostly to the way i treat myself. I spend time in the mornigns on Alanon stuff, pray, meditate..I really am trying hard. Maybe trying less would be better...

rainbojo66 · rainbojo66

I am 2 hours into the day...and so far everything is ok. I had a tremendous awareness yesterday, and I am sort of feeling "hung over"?? from the understanding. I went to get my kids (I couldn't stand it anymore). We had a great time, and bought a few movies out of the cheapie bins at walmart, new...

Sangyaa · Sangyaa

Hi everybody, just an update really. My boyfriend had been in a detox program last week, but left early against their advice. I had just been starting to feel a sense of peace, had been deep cleaning our apartment while he was gone, and was just about to start a long day's work on that project when I got a ca...

stariana · stariana

I am sorry to say that I haven't visited here in a while . . . my AH and I separated a year ago, and I have enjoyed the peace and serenity in my life selfishly. The reason for my post today is that I have a dear, dear friend (she's more than a friend, she's like a sister to me) that I believe is in BIG trouble. I thin...

Cloudsea · Cloudsea

Hi, everyone: My AH will have 3 months of sobriety on Oct. 4. He has seemed to be doing fine. He has a sponsor and goes to AA (though not everyday, but that's his issue; I try not to worry he is going too few times a week). When he was actively drinking, he would have these moods/spells were he was sort of b...

lmw · lmw

Haven't been on the boards for quite a while. I started a new job in mid-August and the kids went back to school on September 1st. It's been a challenge to get done what needs to be done, especially with all of the evening meetings (back to school, Girl Scouts, Cub Scouts, Religous Ed classes) over the p...

RLC · RLC

My son Lee called me this morning to let me know he had received word that he had passed the "Alabama Bar Exam". I am very proud of him. I told him this was the end of a journey......that was only beginning. HUGS, RLC P.S. Before he hung up he did tell me that his Dad's days of "free legal ad...

Diva · Diva

who fails a drug test upon her release from in-residence rehab of only 23 days. She uses the "disease" excuse, explaining that substance abuse IS a disease and an abuser cannot be expected to be "cured" quickly. What a convenient way to avoid taking responsibility for her ac...

Maize · Maize

She is texting me this morning about everything and does not want to hear anything Alanon. She doesn't see that what she is doing is enabling him and "saving" my abf. She is constantly checking his bank account, his phone record, and if she sees him out walking down the street she stops and...

lkristin · lkristin

Hi, I am new here. My husband has been struggling with drugs and alcohol for quite some time. He had been attending AA meetings, but it had gotten to the point where they weren't even helping. He went into detox this morning and then going straight over to a in patient rehab center. It is going to be probab...

kath · kath

On Thursdays and Fridays I become very tired from all the work I am doing during the week. I am happy that I have been doing so well in my college courses. I am taking my college one day at a time, which has relieved a lot of the burden off of me. Since my mother passed away in June of '08, I know what grief is and I...

dori711 · dori711

I have constantly gone to my husband and apologized time and time again. I often apologize for things that aren't even my doing. First I try to reason with him when that doesn't work I am usually the one that apologizes. Aren't we supposed to do this as part of the 12 steps. Isn't this making him feel...

BostonFern · BostonFern

Some people may consider my message here very dark and unpleasant. I'm just trying to understand what had happened to me. Please correct me if I had been wrong in my analysis here... I had befriended with several alanon friends, and have been surprised by their behaviors toward me. During the m...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

I'll give you a quick background. My brother just got out of jail Saturday AM. He was in for 60 days for violating parole (drinking). He was out for two weeks to the day before being picked up. Before that, he served a 1 year sentence for his 4th DUI. He served a 6 month sentence about two years ago for his 3rd...

clm · clm

First let me say I am thankful for a site like this where I can express my concerns and know you will share the benefit of your experience. My husband of 20 years has developed a binge drinking pattern and it really has me on edge. He is a well liked, professional man who is fortunately a funny, mellow dru...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	What if the A is in danger of hurting himself? (Preview) Do you just let it happen? Even if there is a chance of death from the combo of beer and bipolar meds? Do you step in then? I understand the need to let nature take it's course, but where do you draw the line and ask for legal help?	NCSUgeology	11	710	Sep 30, 2010 by stopandchat
	Can an alcoholic recover on their own? (Preview) My husband has been an alcoholic for almost 5 years. I've been trying to get him to stop for years. I tried sending him to AA- he wouldn't stick with it. He has repeatedly lied to me about stopping and cutting back. I've tried taking away his debit cards- he finds other ways to get money. Within the last...	michele1	15	5873	Sep 30, 2010 by stopandchat
	Healing time (Preview) Hi everyone, My abf has been in a detox center since Monday (he'll be there for a week and from there he has an escort to inpatient treatment). If someone had asked me how I was doing last week, I would've said "fine". It took being alone for more than 24 hours for me to realize that I'm NOT fine at...	Sangyaa	6	727	Sep 30, 2010 by Jerry F
	How do you decide if and when to end a relationship with an alcoholic?? (Preview) Hi everyone, This is my first post here and I don't even know if this is the kind of topic to start here, but I am just wondering..... I am so in love with my fiance but his drinking is getting worse.... maybe it's always been this bad but since we are living together I am seeing it more? I think he's trying to d...	oklahoma momof5	8	882	Sep 30, 2010 by xeno59
	Trying to Detach (Preview) Whew, I need help detaching from my 18 year old daughter. She has chosen to leave and move in with her boyfriend and his family. She left with a lot of hurt and anger amongst everyone. I realize it is her life and she has every right to live it how she sees fit but I don't think it's fair for her to expect us t...	Ginger90	10	834	Sep 30, 2010 by xeno59
	Why I am resistant to AA the movement (Preview) I have a question, well lots of questions, but this one is a big one for me. I had mentioned in an earlier post about going to f2f meetings and not feeling comfortable there. I saw my alcoholic sister through 30 days of rehab, plus lived through my father's alcoholism until he was killed and then lived w...	caretaker	17	908	Sep 30, 2010 by John
	I'm feeling guilty and full of blame ... ESH needed, please (Preview) Last year my AH relapsed and went on a major bender, cleared out his retirement account and left me. Within two months, he got 3 dwi's in 3 different counties. In any event, he did jail time, was in a special program in the jail for alcoholism, I took him back in after jail cause it seemed he was working a p...	queenie105	14	989	Sep 30, 2010 by dori711
	God grant me the strength (Preview) Yeh, I found a location fairly close to me that is holding an alanon meeting tomorrow morning at 10 am. I was so happy, now I'm having second thoughts, what will I have to do when I walk in. I hope they don't ask me to speak or anything? What will happen? Maybe this is the best thing I can do for me. I'm so...	dori711	9	1288	Sep 30, 2010 by dori711
	I Didn't have to Wait to Long.. Update (Preview) Ok So Yesterday I told ya Of my wonderful News About becomiing a Grandma Again... WELL.. Step Son Didn't make me suffer to long 1st let me tell you a "Breif" story... :) My Have Bonston Terrier Dogs, (3), They are My Children, and everyone in my family is aware of that as well... Well I bread m...	Jozie	2	763	Sep 29, 2010 by Jerry F
	Fantastic opportunity to look into the early moulding of AA's Big Book (Preview) http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_fea_lifestyles_aa_s_big_book Check it out. It's very interesting reading about all the revisions and how the early writers of the Big Book really sp...	Aloha	1	756	Sep 29, 2010 by Samsgram
	Will My daughter Ever Get It? (Preview) I`am so frustrated as I talk with her and listen to her talk about her life. I`am sorry but there is no serenity today as there was no serenity the other day when I realize there is just no limits to her denial. When I think just the other day we had seen a counselor together that said directly to her, &qu...	Samsgram	6	925	Sep 29, 2010 by Samsgram
	Here we go again (vent) (Preview) Okay...love to hear a vote. I will try to get through this without using any four-letter words. So I stuck by my AH through ten years of BS. Then, he quits his anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs. Now he can't work b/c of the withdrawal. So here I am supporting him financially. I get the phonebill an...	looking_for_peace	8	735	Sep 29, 2010 by angelchar375
	More meetings. (Preview) I was feeling really low on Sunday. Just had something that didn't go as planned set me off on a good cry - something I probably needed, anyhow. Monday I woke up still feeling emotionally hung-over from the previous day. My head taking me back to old injuries from living with my now exAH. His sneaky behav...	Aloha	2	558	Sep 29, 2010 by Maize
	My daughter shouldn't have to deal with this. (Preview) But it happens when I'm not around and there is nothing i can do about it other than damage control. She told me a few hours ago that "mommy calls me names and calls me fat (she's not at all) when she gets mad". What the hell am I supposed to do with that. I just told her it wasn't true, that when...	mjhyankees	14	830	Sep 29, 2010 by kitty
	I have trouble accepting this.... (Preview) Given marital issues and wife's behavior (and perhaps mine) at times (I can't say she's horrible all the time) my daughter is being adversely affected of course. Talked about this in therapy and commented how I feel like I'm failing her. My therapist reminded me that I'm doing all I can and that I'm p...	mjhyankees	14	1230	Sep 29, 2010 by Goodtillitsbad
	Jerry...body language light bulb (Preview) You had a post about body language that really interested me a couple of weeks ago and I am just now figuring it out. I guess I just realized that I have been reading people's body language all my life due to what I have been through. I always thought I was kind of "reading people's thoughts",...	Maize	1	576	Sep 28, 2010 by Jerry F
	We're all just sick (Preview) I have a diary, an online blog, a computer diary (a MS document that I record my thoughts on) and I occasionally post here... I'm doing a whole lot of thinking. Everyday is a struggle for me I have tried to go to an F2F meeting but they don't have them any more in my area. The ladies that I called to get more inf...	jewel91	8	409	Sep 28, 2010 by xeno59
	No feelings? Numb feelings? (Preview) Is it normal to not have feelings or for your feelings to be muted or numb? I grew up in a highly dysfunctional home with an alcoholic father and a mother who borderline personality disorder mother, who eventually and is currently addicted to Rx meds. Now that I am in my early 40's it seems like I just wal...	caretaker	11	2605	Sep 28, 2010 by Maize
	Stopping the wounds (Preview) I decided after this last bout of depression and pain, that I am not going to put myself in hurtful situations anymore. Being alone, I had learned to "take care of things" that emotionally were breaking my heart. ex: euthanizing my own animals when suffering, burying them. Fixing heavy bi...	lyndebi	3	681	Sep 28, 2010 by xeno59
	hello - newhere, this message is for you (Preview) Hello, we chatted today and this was the nick name you used in chat. Please PM me when u see this message, as the email addy did not work for some reason, so the file came back to me. I didnt forget you! You can PM me here by clicking on my user name and I will immediately re-send u the info you wanted.	kitty	0	462	Sep 28, 2010 by kitty
	introducing myself.... (long) (Preview) Im fairly new to the program, and still have a lot swirling around me, having a tough time finding a stable place to land. I understand it will take time to build a new foundation, that parts of the old one that worked fairly well for me for a long time, have crumbled and Im not going to be able (nor should I)...	prisca	7	806	Sep 28, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	Outside Issue? Please consider.... (Preview) Hi everyone, I have been nominated by someone (anonomously) to to go to jail "FOR GOOD" in an effort to help the MDA raise funds for "Jerry's Kids". My bail will be 2500.00 dollars and all of it will go directly to the MDA. I accepted this opportunity to make a difference in the life of someone else. I...	John	2	506	Sep 28, 2010 by Andrea12
	Am I doing this right? (Preview) I haven't felt the way I feel in a very long time. I am feeling very anxious, scared, and insecure with my finanacial picture. I lost my job in May, ex AH stopped paying child support a month ago & now we are concerned that my husband my loose his job very soon. I am trying not to project. I am trying to con...	AlaMom	4	716	Sep 28, 2010 by Andrea12
	Alcoholism and the family.... (Preview) When I first got into Al-Anon and we use to read the definition of alcoholism, only one part of that definition mentioned that alcoholism affects everyone it comes into contact with and I pretty much accepted that. Over the years I have been here I have had daily affirmation that it was true and contin...	Jerry F	6	823	Sep 28, 2010 by Andrea12
	Elusive Happiness.... (Preview) I'm really bottoming out today....I haven't felt this depressed in a few weeks. This stuff about my daughter (which I managed to not think about for a few weeks) is really bothering me now. Which brings me to the happiness concept. I still don't get how you can be happy when things are going wrong. A...	mjhyankees	8	446	Sep 27, 2010 by xeno59
	Alanon Speaker Cruise (Preview) ON SAT. I WENT TO A VERY LOVELY SPEAKER CRUISE. I WENT LAST YR. BUT THIS WAS MUCH BETTER & MORE SPIRITUAL FEELING. THE DAY WAS PERFECT--ALMOST 80 DEGREES. I EVEN LET MY HUSBAND GO--HA! HA! I ACTUALLY TALKED HIM OUT OF GOING FOR SELFISH REASONS LAST YR. I WAS REALLY GLAD HE WAS THERE BECAUSE HE WAS A GOOD...	Hoot Nanny	1	689	Sep 27, 2010 by hotrod
	Update (Preview) My brother has been on a binge since Wednesday where he can't talk, and can barely walk. He'll get plastered, pass out, then walk down to the store after he wakes up to get more beer, and the cycle starts all over again. I got a call from someone on the street last night that said he knocked on their door to...	NCSUgeology	3	643	Sep 27, 2010 by lyndebi
	That darn garage! (Preview) Hi everyone.. just checking in. Things with me are great! Have been going to the gym 3 times a week for 6 months now..lot some weight, gained some self confidence. I am getting happier with me. Progress not perfection is what is driving me this time, so I am not getting discouraged by the fact that th...	MissyPoo	6	628	Sep 27, 2010 by Christy
	shared too soon in wrong place? (Preview) I am having trouble getting past something that happened today. I lost it during class when I was sharing about the death of my mother. I started crying and could not stop. We were having an open discussion during one of my classes and I felt the need to share, but now I am embarassed and afraid of what peo...	kath	6	885	Sep 26, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Al-Anon for my teens??? (Preview) Is there anything online for my teens to let their voices be heard. I can't get them to read any books, or go to meetings. They have had counciling when AH was in Serenity Lane for ReHab (waste of money) The councilor said they were handling it all quite well in fact they handle it better than me. They ar...	snodebb	4	719	Sep 26, 2010 by jewel91
	A tough day just sort of snuck up on me... (Preview) I got an early morning phone call from sibs saying that my Mother, who lives 6 hrs away and who has been in chronic pain for past month + has an unexplained fractured vertebrae and was taken to hospital. I'm worried about this, as there hasn't been a fall of any sort to explain this. I want to stay positiv...	Rora	5	755	Sep 26, 2010 by xeno59
	For those that are struggling with... (Preview) post-divorce emotions, as I am- I decided I have a definite preference to be referred to as 'the first wife' as opposed to 'the ex-wife'. It is funny how something so small can strike us differently. I would like to think of it as tiny baby steps towards detachment. I may even make it half-way there b...	bud	9	719	Sep 26, 2010 by tlcate
	Trust and Faith #2 (Preview) I don't think driving home into the sun after having my eyes dialated has anything to do with trust and faith but them maybe just in light of God watches over drunks and fools. I am still a work in progress in the stubborness area and the oppositional defiant arena. I remember my sponsor saying to me.....	Jerry F	15	835	Sep 26, 2010 by troyc
	Please help, I'm pregnant, he's an alcoholic and I'm getting very depressed.. (Preview) Well it's taken me some time to actually get the courage to write this. This might be a little long but this is the biggest problem I've ever had and I have absolutely no one to talk to about it. I'm 26 years old-single mother (been in the relationship off and on for over 2 years)- I've had problems wit...	flgirl	9	821	Sep 25, 2010 by flgirl
	Divorce in the Facebook era... (Preview) Ick ick ick. I think I need to un-friend my ex-AH or see if I can block a particular friend of his. Just feeling really triggered and it's all I can do to bite my tongue or keep my fingers from flying furiously on the keyboard. My ex-AH has an ex-girlfriend he's friended on Facebook a long time ago. This same...	Aloha	9	1187	Sep 25, 2010 by xeno59
	Do you think my hubby is an A? (Preview) Hello.....I'm new here. I've had this bothering me for some time now. I want to ask you for your opinion. Maybe I just do not want to admit my hubby is actually and alcoholic. I dated my hubby for 2 years prior to marrying him in April of this year. He is a very sweet and caring man. I knew he drank beer (...	Neece	8	718	Sep 25, 2010 by xeno59
	My codependent self really messed up a friendship???? (Preview) I wanted an honest opinion on this topic. I am married to a great guy and we have been together over 13 years, we have 4 children between us, all almost grown but one. My husband has been in recovery off and on 14 years ,mostly off, no use in over a year. Through all of our years together, I never went to alano...	lesa1	5	906	Sep 25, 2010 by xeno59
	Sins of the Father (Preview) I am struggling with a situation in my home over the past year that has steadily been getting worse & I am afraid that if I continue on the path that I am on I will do irreprable damage to a relationship. I have a 21 yr old son who for much of his life I have been close to. During his jr. high school years he s...	AlaMom	6	697	Sep 25, 2010 by xeno59
	Still Finding Pieces of my Past (Preview) Funny how some things can get ya so excited, and yet so nervous at the same time ;) Recently, after learning more and more about the net and how to track people down, I got to thinking of a Friend Of Mine From my "Childhood" 0-11 yrs old .... I always admired her, she loved horses, as did I, she was...	Jozie	4	1169	Sep 25, 2010 by xeno59
	Where is my spirit of forgiveness? (Preview) Most of you will know from my previous posts that my AH has been alcohol dependant for last 6 or more years and his health has been in steep decline over the last 2 years. During this time he has put me and my son (learning disability, still at home) through the wringer. In August he came very close to dying a...	Tattyhead	6	485	Sep 25, 2010 by Tattyhead
	How do you handle an A's apology? (Preview) There's been several lately, not for the drinking but for the emotional abuse that follows the morning after? There were flowers, and hugs and so many sorry's, but the apologies are becoming empty words that mean little. If he would try and stay cool for more than a couple of days, but it doesn't happ...	dori711	16	3835	Sep 25, 2010 by snodebb
	I'm so angry right now!!! I don't want to be (Preview) Gosh I am so angry but I knew the day was coming. I just wana scream and cry. yesterday was not a good day for me my aunt passed away after batttling cancer for the last 8 yrs my two teenage daughters were giving me problems so I think I am coming home from work today and sit down and have a nice time tonight ba...	snodebb	8	1030	Sep 25, 2010 by Cloudsea
	Faith and Trust... (Preview) Okay I got one!!...In 2 and ahalf hours I'll be sitting in the chair of a noted eye surgeon here in Hilo. We will be checking to see what we can do with my good eye. I have one good eye and with exceptions most of you have better, I assume. My other eye, (left) got damaged a year ago and I cannot use it and look...	Jerry F	10	1285	Sep 25, 2010 by Maize
	New and could use advice (Preview) Just joined and I am glad to be here and find some much needed support. I know a lot about alcoholism - my father was an alcoholic and died in an auto accident when I was a teen - as a result of his drinking. My mother, whom I no longer associate with is a prescription drug abuser and has been for 15 years. I d...	caretaker	7	1008	Sep 25, 2010 by abbyal
	All, I can say is help??? (Preview) I don't know where to begin. My oldest daughter, 25 years old, still lives here. That is when we see her. About a year ago, she was at the wrong place at the wrong time and was involved in a drug bust. 5 felony charges later due to different pills and parafanalia. We bailed her out. She has to go to drug...	mom182	9	958	Sep 24, 2010 by mom182
	one day at a time...? (Preview) Good morning friends... I am stuck. Hoping someone has something to say that will unstick me. Since I came in, I feel like I have made so many changes, mostly to the way i treat myself. I spend time in the mornigns on Alanon stuff, pray, meditate..I really am trying hard. Maybe trying less would be better...	rainbojo66	9	834	Sep 24, 2010 by kitty
	feeling invisible... (Preview) I am 2 hours into the day...and so far everything is ok. I had a tremendous awareness yesterday, and I am sort of feeling "hung over"?? from the understanding. I went to get my kids (I couldn't stand it anymore). We had a great time, and bought a few movies out of the cheapie bins at walmart, new...	rainbojo66	9	848	Sep 24, 2010 by kitty
	Abf entering detox/inpatient treatment Thursday! (Preview) Hi everybody, just an update really. My boyfriend had been in a detox program last week, but left early against their advice. I had just been starting to feel a sense of peace, had been deep cleaning our apartment while he was gone, and was just about to start a long day's work on that project when I got a ca...	Sangyaa	7	587	Sep 24, 2010 by Sangyaa
	best friend in trouble - help!!! (Preview) I am sorry to say that I haven't visited here in a while . . . my AH and I separated a year ago, and I have enjoyed the peace and serenity in my life selfishly. The reason for my post today is that I have a dear, dear friend (she's more than a friend, she's like a sister to me) that I believe is in BIG trouble. I thin...	stariana	6	623	Sep 24, 2010 by stariana
	Recovering AH with moods -- depression, possibly panic?? (Preview) Hi, everyone: My AH will have 3 months of sobriety on Oct. 4. He has seemed to be doing fine. He has a sponsor and goes to AA (though not everyday, but that's his issue; I try not to worry he is going too few times a week). When he was actively drinking, he would have these moods/spells were he was sort of b...	Cloudsea	8	1163	Sep 24, 2010 by Cloudsea
	checking in... (Preview) Haven't been on the boards for quite a while. I started a new job in mid-August and the kids went back to school on September 1st. It's been a challenge to get done what needs to be done, especially with all of the evening meetings (back to school, Girl Scouts, Cub Scouts, Religous Ed classes) over the p...	lmw	3	542	Sep 24, 2010 by Karilynn
	Good News !! (Preview) My son Lee called me this morning to let me know he had received word that he had passed the "Alabama Bar Exam". I am very proud of him. I told him this was the end of a journey......that was only beginning. HUGS, RLC P.S. Before he hung up he did tell me that his Dad's days of "free legal ad...	RLC	8	709	Sep 24, 2010 by Karilynn
	And then we have young Lindsay Lohan..... (Preview) who fails a drug test upon her release from in-residence rehab of only 23 days. She uses the "disease" excuse, explaining that substance abuse IS a disease and an abuser cannot be expected to be "cured" quickly. What a convenient way to avoid taking responsibility for her ac...	Diva	5	1079	Sep 24, 2010 by Andrea12
	What can I say to his mom??? (Preview) She is texting me this morning about everything and does not want to hear anything Alanon. She doesn't see that what she is doing is enabling him and "saving" my abf. She is constantly checking his bank account, his phone record, and if she sees him out walking down the street she stops and...	Maize	8	740	Sep 23, 2010 by lyndebi
	lonely (Preview) Hi, I am new here. My husband has been struggling with drugs and alcohol for quite some time. He had been attending AA meetings, but it had gotten to the point where they weren't even helping. He went into detox this morning and then going straight over to a in patient rehab center. It is going to be probab...	lkristin	6	591	Sep 23, 2010 by DreamXL
	end of the week (Preview) On Thursdays and Fridays I become very tired from all the work I am doing during the week. I am happy that I have been doing so well in my college courses. I am taking my college one day at a time, which has relieved a lot of the burden off of me. Since my mother passed away in June of '08, I know what grief is and I...	kath	4	440	Sep 23, 2010 by kath
	I don't understand the 12 steps? (Preview) I have constantly gone to my husband and apologized time and time again. I often apologize for things that aren't even my doing. First I try to reason with him when that doesn't work I am usually the one that apologizes. Aren't we supposed to do this as part of the 12 steps. Isn't this making him feel...	dori711	14	935	Sep 23, 2010 by wp
	Is there a danger of sharing too much? (Preview) Some people may consider my message here very dark and unpleasant. I'm just trying to understand what had happened to me. Please correct me if I had been wrong in my analysis here... I had befriended with several alanon friends, and have been surprised by their behaviors toward me. During the m...	BostonFern	15	1273	Sep 23, 2010 by wp
	Am I an enabler? (Preview) I'll give you a quick background. My brother just got out of jail Saturday AM. He was in for 60 days for violating parole (drinking). He was out for two weeks to the day before being picked up. Before that, he served a 1 year sentence for his 4th DUI. He served a 6 month sentence about two years ago for his 3rd...	NCSUgeology	14	2992	Sep 23, 2010 by wp
	Binge drinking becoming greater (Preview) First let me say I am thankful for a site like this where I can express my concerns and know you will share the benefit of your experience. My husband of 20 years has developed a binge drinking pattern and it really has me on edge. He is a well liked, professional man who is fortunately a funny, mellow dru...	clm	7	1412	Sep 23, 2010 by clm
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.