Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

maresie · maresie

When I was a teenager my big sister threw me down the stairs for using her lipstick. Since then I've undergone years of surgeries, unsuccessful procedures and basically lived at the dentist. During all that time I've been waiting for her apology. Needless to say I've never got one and I've certain...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

:) You know me :) -- Edited by sunflowergirl on Tuesday 5th of October 2010 04:39:35 AM

maresie · maresie

Today I saw a former neighbor of mine on the street. I have been angry at her for years about her behavior, drama and chaos. She was absolutely hell to live with. Naturally she takes no reponsibility for that so she wasn't exactly pleased to see me. In the past when she indicated that I had some retort...

jettiesgirl · jettiesgirl

Had a setback tonight. Some of you may recall my previous posts. ABF had a meltdown about a month ago, got tasered by the cops. Ugly, ugly night. Well, that experienced scared him, I think. He's been going to AA meetings twice a day, seeing a counselor and a doctor. I've been proud of him -- he got his 3 week...

suzip · suzip

Why is it that I have such a hard time saying no? I have decided to try to not be so quick to say yes to everything, yes I'll run the fall mum sale, yes I'll do Community Day yes I'll run the fundraiser event...what is my problem! My ah is spending the last month of his 2nd jail term for his 4th dui, and I've said n...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha all...I read a post a while back about a couple 18 year old female family members who were abanding family ties and running off to another family with young male others. I responded that it seemed like an epidemic because of course that is happening here also. My 18 year old grand daughter who is...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((Family))))))))))), Well another road to travel in the world of addiction, my son came home Wednesday evening so high i honestly thought he was going to overdose. So I took his keys, Thursday morning he woke up give me my keys I want to go look for a job, meanwhile he has a t-shirt and sweat pants...

kath · kath

There are no words to describe how awestruck I am after reading Getting Them Sober. There it was in writing, how I have been acting toward my AH, and how he has been acting towards me. Then there were suggestions to tell me how to deal with this disease in a positive way. I can thankfully say there is pea...

kitty · kitty

Last night bf & I watched this movie for the first time. Very fitting for us right now, as we have been discussing boundaries all week and how to implement them, navigate and use them - boundaries (personal, familial) how to handle them with colleagues in a professional setting (at work). This...

SteppingUp · SteppingUp

My W went over her usual 5 drinks tonight and my heart is pounding a mile-a-minute. I think she's finally passed out (at least I hope she is). She was slurring and stumbling and thought she was very cute. Even the kids were making fun of her. Luckily she thought they were just joking around with her. Other...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

A member from our Alanon fellowship mentioned this at a meeting. Seriously & I joke about it! I said who wants to be happy & someone said that happiness is overrated. I totally agree w/ what he said but I had to be a smarty pants. I really want to be happy & serene & sane on a daily basis but I...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok So Today my Step Son (youngest) comes bustin in my office :) He says "Can You Keep a Secret?" Me being Honest said "NO" ...lol... So He was pretty excited and told me, I had to Keep this Secret from my Husband of ALL people, and that makes it worse, because we do tend to share EVERYT...

kerry5 · kerry5

Business meeting will be held tommorow Sunday October 3rd at 9pm est. There are three items on the agenda. Meeting Schedule Lack of Chairs Vote for Room Preditor to be banned or not If you have anything you would like added contact me or attend the meeting to present any new business you may have Thank...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

Does one have to be an op to lead or begin scheduled online meetings? I really needed a meeting tonight and there were no ops and I asked if you had to be one and they said yes. I thought anyone could. ty, Carol

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I've been thinking that I have always felt "less than" others my whole life. Many thing contributed to this: Of course dysfunctional home with alcoholism. A last name that prompted jeers my whole childhood, being kind of nerdy, soft and generally not "manly", and having s...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Oh boy, I am counting the days til I go under the knife! I figure that I won't be able to update you all after I do. I won't be able to get on here for a week or so afterwards. I hope to let everyone know my progress as soon as I am able. I don't have a computer at home as I have said before. It would take quite a feat t...

pineapple · pineapple

After doing so good for awhile, AH has again fallen off the wagon. The stupid part is that with all I 've learned from alanon I still expected that just because he went for so long without drinking, it wouldn't happen again. DUH! At least I remembered that it's a waste of breath to talk to him when he's drun...

Jozie · Jozie

Welp... Today I was Tested On old ways, and I think over all, gave it my Best Al-Anon Try :) Ok, I have shared that I am going to be a Grandma again, (So Flip'n Excited) and that my stepson, had recently divorced (Last Week :D) and was moving on with his new lady & baby to be, well I'm sure many no of Faceboo...

tlcate · tlcate

I was talking to a friend about another person, a man. I said, "I think he needs a woman to who needs to be taken care of. I am a strong, independent woman and I think that scares him." His response, "Yes, some men need women who need to be taken care of." I said, "I'm all for bei...

nh girl · nh girl

How do you handle passive aggressive people? As I am an adult child of an alcoholic family, I don't always have the tools I need to handle difficult situations. I was working on a project for a sister in law and now I'm just waiting for the punishment as it always comes. This is the first time it's happ...

dori711 · dori711

This morning I woke up so down and had a big cry because I was thinking that by going to Al Anon meetings without my husband knowing and by spending time on this board is a form of betrayal. Why do I feel this way? My husband and I have always been open with each other for the most part, I think this is the fir...

dori711 · dori711

I need some advice the Al-Anon way. I just started going to Al anon meetings last Thursday so today was my second meeting. Today it dealt with step nine. I will also be purchasing a book called "Courage to Change". Now I can only assume when they finish the 12 steps they will go back to s...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

Well, my brother was arrested last night for violation of parole. This is the second time he's been arrested for parole violation, so he'll probably have to serve the whole sentence (maybe two years). This time was much, much worse though. I've seen him drunk plenty of times, but this time the beer/me...

Maize · Maize

I swear I have a sign on my head that says "all crazy people talk to this person" but I know it really must be that my body language is suggesting that I will talk to them? I don't know. Since I realized I can read body language kind of subconsciously, I know I must be putting out some kind of body...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Here it goes: A boy was talking to God & said: A million years is like a second to you, right? God said YES. the boy asked: A million dollars is like a penny to you, right? God said YES. the boy asked: Can I have a penny? God said" just a second!" I hope everyone got a good laugh: I needed it when...

Melly · Melly

Hello, I'm Melissa, 31 and I just wanted to pop in here and see what it was all about. Basically, my Mother has been an alcoholic for years and years. It's always bothered me and I've tried to talk to her about it, but it's not done any good. The big things, she said once or twice, was that I left home when I wa...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

Hi everyone!! Just wondering about how I would set boundaries and also practice detachment. I have been thinking about a possible boundary to set: I don't want you drinking in my house when my kids are awake. (this is actually what caused me to wake up to his problem, he started staying here full tim...

titanicspriging · titanicspriging

I'm so feed up with all the lies, the hidden bottles of whiskey, the roller coaster of false promises and let downs. Up til now it's always been me that has stormed off and had to live with my children, or in a caravan, but tonight my husband returned from a golfing holiday, walked in the door, told me how m...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Have been away for just 2 nights, staying with an old friend. Had a lovely time catching up on all our news. I decided it was OK to go away and leave son with his AH because AH was so much better - he had been in hospital, had very nearly died but seemed to be much improved and not drinking (much!). They were ok...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha John and Mahalo for your response to Michele on her question as to if an alcoholic can get sober on their own. Many times I needed the "long" story with the attention to detail to inform me into a greater understanding. My ADD makes the staying with it difficult but the content of you...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

Do you just let it happen? Even if there is a chance of death from the combo of beer and bipolar meds? Do you step in then? I understand the need to let nature take it's course, but where do you draw the line and ask for legal help?

michele1 · michele1

My husband has been an alcoholic for almost 5 years. I've been trying to get him to stop for years. I tried sending him to AA- he wouldn't stick with it. He has repeatedly lied to me about stopping and cutting back. I've tried taking away his debit cards- he finds other ways to get money. Within the last...

Sangyaa · Sangyaa

Hi everyone, My abf has been in a detox center since Monday (he'll be there for a week and from there he has an escort to inpatient treatment). If someone had asked me how I was doing last week, I would've said "fine". It took being alone for more than 24 hours for me to realize that I'm NOT fine at...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

Hi everyone, This is my first post here and I don't even know if this is the kind of topic to start here, but I am just wondering..... I am so in love with my fiance but his drinking is getting worse.... maybe it's always been this bad but since we are living together I am seeing it more? I think he's trying to d...

Ginger90 · Ginger90

Whew, I need help detaching from my 18 year old daughter. She has chosen to leave and move in with her boyfriend and his family. She left with a lot of hurt and anger amongst everyone. I realize it is her life and she has every right to live it how she sees fit but I don't think it's fair for her to expect us t...

caretaker · caretaker

I have a question, well lots of questions, but this one is a big one for me. I had mentioned in an earlier post about going to f2f meetings and not feeling comfortable there. I saw my alcoholic sister through 30 days of rehab, plus lived through my father's alcoholism until he was killed and then lived w...

queenie105 · queenie105

Last year my AH relapsed and went on a major bender, cleared out his retirement account and left me. Within two months, he got 3 dwi's in 3 different counties. In any event, he did jail time, was in a special program in the jail for alcoholism, I took him back in after jail cause it seemed he was working a p...

dori711 · dori711

Yeh, I found a location fairly close to me that is holding an alanon meeting tomorrow morning at 10 am. I was so happy, now I'm having second thoughts, what will I have to do when I walk in. I hope they don't ask me to speak or anything? What will happen? Maybe this is the best thing I can do for me. I'm so...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok So Yesterday I told ya Of my wonderful News About becomiing a Grandma Again... WELL.. Step Son Didn't make me suffer to long 1st let me tell you a "Breif" story... :) My Have Bonston Terrier Dogs, (3), They are My Children, and everyone in my family is aware of that as well... Well I bread m...

Aloha · Aloha

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_fea_lifestyles_aa_s_big_book Check it out. It's very interesting reading about all the revisions and how the early writers of the Big Book really sp...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I`am so frustrated as I talk with her and listen to her talk about her life. I`am sorry but there is no serenity today as there was no serenity the other day when I realize there is just no limits to her denial. When I think just the other day we had seen a counselor together that said directly to her, &qu...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Okay...love to hear a vote. I will try to get through this without using any four-letter words. So I stuck by my AH through ten years of BS. Then, he quits his anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs. Now he can't work b/c of the withdrawal. So here I am supporting him financially. I get the phonebill an...

Aloha · Aloha

I was feeling really low on Sunday. Just had something that didn't go as planned set me off on a good cry - something I probably needed, anyhow. Monday I woke up still feeling emotionally hung-over from the previous day. My head taking me back to old injuries from living with my now exAH. His sneaky behav...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

But it happens when I'm not around and there is nothing i can do about it other than damage control. She told me a few hours ago that "mommy calls me names and calls me fat (she's not at all) when she gets mad". What the hell am I supposed to do with that. I just told her it wasn't true, that when...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Given marital issues and wife's behavior (and perhaps mine) at times (I can't say she's horrible all the time) my daughter is being adversely affected of course. Talked about this in therapy and commented how I feel like I'm failing her. My therapist reminded me that I'm doing all I can and that I'm p...

Maize · Maize

You had a post about body language that really interested me a couple of weeks ago and I am just now figuring it out. I guess I just realized that I have been reading people's body language all my life due to what I have been through. I always thought I was kind of "reading people's thoughts",...

jewel91 · jewel91

I have a diary, an online blog, a computer diary (a MS document that I record my thoughts on) and I occasionally post here... I'm doing a whole lot of thinking. Everyday is a struggle for me I have tried to go to an F2F meeting but they don't have them any more in my area. The ladies that I called to get more inf...

caretaker · caretaker

Is it normal to not have feelings or for your feelings to be muted or numb? I grew up in a highly dysfunctional home with an alcoholic father and a mother who borderline personality disorder mother, who eventually and is currently addicted to Rx meds. Now that I am in my early 40's it seems like I just wal...

lyndebi · lyndebi

I decided after this last bout of depression and pain, that I am not going to put myself in hurtful situations anymore. Being alone, I had learned to "take care of things" that emotionally were breaking my heart. ex: euthanizing my own animals when suffering, burying them. Fixing heavy bi...

kitty · kitty

Hello, we chatted today and this was the nick name you used in chat. Please PM me when u see this message, as the email addy did not work for some reason, so the file came back to me. I didnt forget you! You can PM me here by clicking on my user name and I will immediately re-send u the info you wanted.

prisca · prisca

Im fairly new to the program, and still have a lot swirling around me, having a tough time finding a stable place to land. I understand it will take time to build a new foundation, that parts of the old one that worked fairly well for me for a long time, have crumbled and Im not going to be able (nor should I)...

John · John

Hi everyone, I have been nominated by someone (anonomously) to to go to jail "FOR GOOD" in an effort to help the MDA raise funds for "Jerry's Kids". My bail will be 2500.00 dollars and all of it will go directly to the MDA. I accepted this opportunity to make a difference in the life of someone else. I...

AlaMom · AlaMom

I haven't felt the way I feel in a very long time. I am feeling very anxious, scared, and insecure with my finanacial picture. I lost my job in May, ex AH stopped paying child support a month ago & now we are concerned that my husband my loose his job very soon. I am trying not to project. I am trying to con...

Jerry F · Jerry F

When I first got into Al-Anon and we use to read the definition of alcoholism, only one part of that definition mentioned that alcoholism affects everyone it comes into contact with and I pretty much accepted that. Over the years I have been here I have had daily affirmation that it was true and contin...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I'm really bottoming out today....I haven't felt this depressed in a few weeks. This stuff about my daughter (which I managed to not think about for a few weeks) is really bothering me now. Which brings me to the happiness concept. I still don't get how you can be happy when things are going wrong. A...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

ON SAT. I WENT TO A VERY LOVELY SPEAKER CRUISE. I WENT LAST YR. BUT THIS WAS MUCH BETTER & MORE SPIRITUAL FEELING. THE DAY WAS PERFECT--ALMOST 80 DEGREES. I EVEN LET MY HUSBAND GO--HA! HA! I ACTUALLY TALKED HIM OUT OF GOING FOR SELFISH REASONS LAST YR. I WAS REALLY GLAD HE WAS THERE BECAUSE HE WAS A GOOD...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

My brother has been on a binge since Wednesday where he can't talk, and can barely walk. He'll get plastered, pass out, then walk down to the store after he wakes up to get more beer, and the cycle starts all over again. I got a call from someone on the street last night that said he knocked on their door to...

MissyPoo · MissyPoo

Hi everyone.. just checking in. Things with me are great! Have been going to the gym 3 times a week for 6 months now..lot some weight, gained some self confidence. I am getting happier with me. Progress not perfection is what is driving me this time, so I am not getting discouraged by the fact that th...

kath · kath

I am having trouble getting past something that happened today. I lost it during class when I was sharing about the death of my mother. I started crying and could not stop. We were having an open discussion during one of my classes and I felt the need to share, but now I am embarassed and afraid of what peo...

snodebb · snodebb

Is there anything online for my teens to let their voices be heard. I can't get them to read any books, or go to meetings. They have had counciling when AH was in Serenity Lane for ReHab (waste of money) The councilor said they were handling it all quite well in fact they handle it better than me. They ar...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Accepting responsibility. (Preview) When I was a teenager my big sister threw me down the stairs for using her lipstick. Since then I've undergone years of surgeries, unsuccessful procedures and basically lived at the dentist. During all that time I've been waiting for her apology. Needless to say I've never got one and I've certain...	maresie	4	769	Oct 4, 2010 by maresie
	This is the new me... (Preview) :) You know me :) -- Edited by sunflowergirl on Tuesday 5th of October 2010 04:39:35 AM	sunflowergirl	5	768	Oct 4, 2010 by kitty
	Detachment (Preview) Today I saw a former neighbor of mine on the street. I have been angry at her for years about her behavior, drama and chaos. She was absolutely hell to live with. Naturally she takes no reponsibility for that so she wasn't exactly pleased to see me. In the past when she indicated that I had some retort...	maresie	6	689	Oct 4, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	I messed up. (Preview) Had a setback tonight. Some of you may recall my previous posts. ABF had a meltdown about a month ago, got tasered by the cops. Ugly, ugly night. Well, that experienced scared him, I think. He's been going to AA meetings twice a day, seeing a counselor and a doctor. I've been proud of him -- he got his 3 week...	jettiesgirl	10	802	Oct 4, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Learn to say NO!! (Preview) Why is it that I have such a hard time saying no? I have decided to try to not be so quick to say yes to everything, yes I'll run the fall mum sale, yes I'll do Community Day yes I'll run the fundraiser event...what is my problem! My ah is spending the last month of his 2nd jail term for his 4th dui, and I've said n...	suzip	3	689	Oct 4, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Saying No...meaning No. (Preview) Aloha all...I read a post a while back about a couple 18 year old female family members who were abanding family ties and running off to another family with young male others. I responded that it seemed like an epidemic because of course that is happening here also. My 18 year old grand daughter who is...	Jerry F	7	629	Oct 4, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Desperate for words of wisdom here I go again (Preview) (((((((((Family))))))))))), Well another road to travel in the world of addiction, my son came home Wednesday evening so high i honestly thought he was going to overdose. So I took his keys, Thursday morning he woke up give me my keys I want to go look for a job, meanwhile he has a t-shirt and sweat pants...	Andrea12	18	1849	Oct 4, 2010 by Bettina
	No words (Preview) There are no words to describe how awestruck I am after reading Getting Them Sober. There it was in writing, how I have been acting toward my AH, and how he has been acting towards me. Then there were suggestions to tell me how to deal with this disease in a positive way. I can thankfully say there is pea...	kath	8	491	Oct 4, 2010 by oklahoma momof5
	the movie, The Blind Side (Preview) Last night bf & I watched this movie for the first time. Very fitting for us right now, as we have been discussing boundaries all week and how to implement them, navigate and use them - boundaries (personal, familial) how to handle them with colleagues in a professional setting (at work). This...	kitty	4	783	Oct 4, 2010 by xeno59
	She's tanked again and I'm walking on eggshells. (Preview) My W went over her usual 5 drinks tonight and my heart is pounding a mile-a-minute. I think she's finally passed out (at least I hope she is). She was slurring and stumbling and thought she was very cute. Even the kids were making fun of her. Luckily she thought they were just joking around with her. Other...	SteppingUp	12	642	Oct 3, 2010 by SteppingUp
	Do you want to right or be happy? (Preview) A member from our Alanon fellowship mentioned this at a meeting. Seriously & I joke about it! I said who wants to be happy & someone said that happiness is overrated. I totally agree w/ what he said but I had to be a smarty pants. I really want to be happy & serene & sane on a daily basis but I...	Hoot Nanny	6	1110	Oct 3, 2010 by kitty
	Happy Secrets :) Had to share :) (Preview) Ok So Today my Step Son (youngest) comes bustin in my office :) He says "Can You Keep a Secret?" Me being Honest said "NO" ...lol... So He was pretty excited and told me, I had to Keep this Secret from my Husband of ALL people, and that makes it worse, because we do tend to share EVERYT...	Jozie	6	954	Oct 3, 2010 by thundermother
	Business Meeting tommorow at 9pm est October 3rd 2010 (Preview) Business meeting will be held tommorow Sunday October 3rd at 9pm est. There are three items on the agenda. Meeting Schedule Lack of Chairs Vote for Room Preditor to be banned or not If you have anything you would like added contact me or attend the meeting to present any new business you may have Thank...	kerry5	0	388	Oct 2, 2010 by kerry5
	needed a meeting tonight and there were no ops (Preview) Does one have to be an op to lead or begin scheduled online meetings? I really needed a meeting tonight and there were no ops and I asked if you had to be one and they said yes. I thought anyone could. ty, Carol	Carol_Lynn	5	627	Oct 2, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Always felt less than..... (Preview) I've been thinking that I have always felt "less than" others my whole life. Many thing contributed to this: Of course dysfunctional home with alcoholism. A last name that prompted jeers my whole childhood, being kind of nerdy, soft and generally not "manly", and having s...	mjhyankees	8	447	Oct 2, 2010 by Bettina
	counting the days... (Preview) Oh boy, I am counting the days til I go under the knife! I figure that I won't be able to update you all after I do. I won't be able to get on here for a week or so afterwards. I hope to let everyone know my progress as soon as I am able. I don't have a computer at home as I have said before. It would take quite a feat t...	Hoot Nanny	3	492	Oct 2, 2010 by Jerry F
	Expectations-I KNOW better by now, but.... (Preview) After doing so good for awhile, AH has again fallen off the wagon. The stupid part is that with all I 've learned from alanon I still expected that just because he went for so long without drinking, it wouldn't happen again. DUH! At least I remembered that it's a waste of breath to talk to him when he's drun...	pineapple	9	792	Oct 2, 2010 by pineapple
	A Baby Step Kinda Day!!! Let'n Go (Preview) Welp... Today I was Tested On old ways, and I think over all, gave it my Best Al-Anon Try :) Ok, I have shared that I am going to be a Grandma again, (So Flip'n Excited) and that my stepson, had recently divorced (Last Week :D) and was moving on with his new lady & baby to be, well I'm sure many no of Faceboo...	Jozie	3	1060	Oct 2, 2010 by hotrod
	This stuck with me today . . . (Preview) I was talking to a friend about another person, a man. I said, "I think he needs a woman to who needs to be taken care of. I am a strong, independent woman and I think that scares him." His response, "Yes, some men need women who need to be taken care of." I said, "I'm all for bei...	tlcate	5	452	Oct 2, 2010 by mjhyankees
	off topic just need to vent and get insight (Preview) How do you handle passive aggressive people? As I am an adult child of an alcoholic family, I don't always have the tools I need to handle difficult situations. I was working on a project for a sister in law and now I'm just waiting for the punishment as it always comes. This is the first time it's happ...	nh girl	8	715	Oct 1, 2010 by nh girl
	Are these normal feelings for a new Al-Anon member? (Preview) This morning I woke up so down and had a big cry because I was thinking that by going to Al Anon meetings without my husband knowing and by spending time on this board is a form of betrayal. Why do I feel this way? My husband and I have always been open with each other for the most part, I think this is the fir...	dori711	13	979	Oct 1, 2010 by abbyal
	How would you respond? (Preview) I need some advice the Al-Anon way. I just started going to Al anon meetings last Thursday so today was my second meeting. Today it dealt with step nine. I will also be purchasing a book called "Courage to Change". Now I can only assume when they finish the 12 steps they will go back to s...	dori711	13	1338	Oct 1, 2010 by Maize
	He was arrested last night (Preview) Well, my brother was arrested last night for violation of parole. This is the second time he's been arrested for parole violation, so he'll probably have to serve the whole sentence (maybe two years). This time was much, much worse though. I've seen him drunk plenty of times, but this time the beer/me...	NCSUgeology	7	1198	Oct 1, 2010 by lyndebi
	how to change my own body language? (Preview) I swear I have a sign on my head that says "all crazy people talk to this person" but I know it really must be that my body language is suggesting that I will talk to them? I don't know. Since I realized I can read body language kind of subconsciously, I know I must be putting out some kind of body...	Maize	10	984	Oct 1, 2010 by Maize
	Just a little joke! (Preview) Here it goes: A boy was talking to God & said: A million years is like a second to you, right? God said YES. the boy asked: A million dollars is like a penny to you, right? God said YES. the boy asked: Can I have a penny? God said" just a second!" I hope everyone got a good laugh: I needed it when...	Hoot Nanny	3	447	Oct 1, 2010 by Andrea12
	Intro (Preview) Hello, I'm Melissa, 31 and I just wanted to pop in here and see what it was all about. Basically, my Mother has been an alcoholic for years and years. It's always bothered me and I've tried to talk to her about it, but it's not done any good. The big things, she said once or twice, was that I left home when I wa...	Melly	7	1274	Sep 30, 2010 by carolyny476
	Question about detachment and boundaries... (Preview) Hi everyone!! Just wondering about how I would set boundaries and also practice detachment. I have been thinking about a possible boundary to set: I don't want you drinking in my house when my kids are awake. (this is actually what caused me to wake up to his problem, he started staying here full tim...	oklahoma momof5	4	1180	Sep 30, 2010 by kitty
	I'm new and at my wits end tonight (Preview) I'm so feed up with all the lies, the hidden bottles of whiskey, the roller coaster of false promises and let downs. Up til now it's always been me that has stormed off and had to live with my children, or in a caravan, but tonight my husband returned from a golfing holiday, walked in the door, told me how m...	titanicspriging	3	795	Sep 30, 2010 by abbyal
	Maybe I was right not to forgive (Preview) Have been away for just 2 nights, staying with an old friend. Had a lovely time catching up on all our news. I decided it was OK to go away and leave son with his AH because AH was so much better - he had been in hospital, had very nearly died but seemed to be much improved and not drinking (much!). They were ok...	Tattyhead	9	1074	Sep 30, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Thanks John (Preview) Aloha John and Mahalo for your response to Michele on her question as to if an alcoholic can get sober on their own. Many times I needed the "long" story with the attention to detail to inform me into a greater understanding. My ADD makes the staying with it difficult but the content of you...	Jerry F	2	643	Sep 30, 2010 by Maize
	What if the A is in danger of hurting himself? (Preview) Do you just let it happen? Even if there is a chance of death from the combo of beer and bipolar meds? Do you step in then? I understand the need to let nature take it's course, but where do you draw the line and ask for legal help?	NCSUgeology	11	771	Sep 30, 2010 by stopandchat
	Can an alcoholic recover on their own? (Preview) My husband has been an alcoholic for almost 5 years. I've been trying to get him to stop for years. I tried sending him to AA- he wouldn't stick with it. He has repeatedly lied to me about stopping and cutting back. I've tried taking away his debit cards- he finds other ways to get money. Within the last...	michele1	15	6272	Sep 30, 2010 by stopandchat
	Healing time (Preview) Hi everyone, My abf has been in a detox center since Monday (he'll be there for a week and from there he has an escort to inpatient treatment). If someone had asked me how I was doing last week, I would've said "fine". It took being alone for more than 24 hours for me to realize that I'm NOT fine at...	Sangyaa	6	753	Sep 30, 2010 by Jerry F
	How do you decide if and when to end a relationship with an alcoholic?? (Preview) Hi everyone, This is my first post here and I don't even know if this is the kind of topic to start here, but I am just wondering..... I am so in love with my fiance but his drinking is getting worse.... maybe it's always been this bad but since we are living together I am seeing it more? I think he's trying to d...	oklahoma momof5	8	925	Sep 30, 2010 by xeno59
	Trying to Detach (Preview) Whew, I need help detaching from my 18 year old daughter. She has chosen to leave and move in with her boyfriend and his family. She left with a lot of hurt and anger amongst everyone. I realize it is her life and she has every right to live it how she sees fit but I don't think it's fair for her to expect us t...	Ginger90	10	859	Sep 30, 2010 by xeno59
	Why I am resistant to AA the movement (Preview) I have a question, well lots of questions, but this one is a big one for me. I had mentioned in an earlier post about going to f2f meetings and not feeling comfortable there. I saw my alcoholic sister through 30 days of rehab, plus lived through my father's alcoholism until he was killed and then lived w...	caretaker	17	934	Sep 30, 2010 by John
	I'm feeling guilty and full of blame ... ESH needed, please (Preview) Last year my AH relapsed and went on a major bender, cleared out his retirement account and left me. Within two months, he got 3 dwi's in 3 different counties. In any event, he did jail time, was in a special program in the jail for alcoholism, I took him back in after jail cause it seemed he was working a p...	queenie105	14	1017	Sep 30, 2010 by dori711
	God grant me the strength (Preview) Yeh, I found a location fairly close to me that is holding an alanon meeting tomorrow morning at 10 am. I was so happy, now I'm having second thoughts, what will I have to do when I walk in. I hope they don't ask me to speak or anything? What will happen? Maybe this is the best thing I can do for me. I'm so...	dori711	9	1314	Sep 30, 2010 by dori711
	I Didn't have to Wait to Long.. Update (Preview) Ok So Yesterday I told ya Of my wonderful News About becomiing a Grandma Again... WELL.. Step Son Didn't make me suffer to long 1st let me tell you a "Breif" story... :) My Have Bonston Terrier Dogs, (3), They are My Children, and everyone in my family is aware of that as well... Well I bread m...	Jozie	2	792	Sep 29, 2010 by Jerry F
	Fantastic opportunity to look into the early moulding of AA's Big Book (Preview) http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_fea_lifestyles_aa_s_big_book Check it out. It's very interesting reading about all the revisions and how the early writers of the Big Book really sp...	Aloha	1	786	Sep 29, 2010 by Samsgram
	Will My daughter Ever Get It? (Preview) I`am so frustrated as I talk with her and listen to her talk about her life. I`am sorry but there is no serenity today as there was no serenity the other day when I realize there is just no limits to her denial. When I think just the other day we had seen a counselor together that said directly to her, &qu...	Samsgram	6	964	Sep 29, 2010 by Samsgram
	Here we go again (vent) (Preview) Okay...love to hear a vote. I will try to get through this without using any four-letter words. So I stuck by my AH through ten years of BS. Then, he quits his anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs. Now he can't work b/c of the withdrawal. So here I am supporting him financially. I get the phonebill an...	looking_for_peace	8	757	Sep 29, 2010 by angelchar375
	More meetings. (Preview) I was feeling really low on Sunday. Just had something that didn't go as planned set me off on a good cry - something I probably needed, anyhow. Monday I woke up still feeling emotionally hung-over from the previous day. My head taking me back to old injuries from living with my now exAH. His sneaky behav...	Aloha	2	583	Sep 29, 2010 by Maize
	My daughter shouldn't have to deal with this. (Preview) But it happens when I'm not around and there is nothing i can do about it other than damage control. She told me a few hours ago that "mommy calls me names and calls me fat (she's not at all) when she gets mad". What the hell am I supposed to do with that. I just told her it wasn't true, that when...	mjhyankees	14	854	Sep 29, 2010 by kitty
	I have trouble accepting this.... (Preview) Given marital issues and wife's behavior (and perhaps mine) at times (I can't say she's horrible all the time) my daughter is being adversely affected of course. Talked about this in therapy and commented how I feel like I'm failing her. My therapist reminded me that I'm doing all I can and that I'm p...	mjhyankees	14	1253	Sep 29, 2010 by Goodtillitsbad
	Jerry...body language light bulb (Preview) You had a post about body language that really interested me a couple of weeks ago and I am just now figuring it out. I guess I just realized that I have been reading people's body language all my life due to what I have been through. I always thought I was kind of "reading people's thoughts",...	Maize	1	614	Sep 28, 2010 by Jerry F
	We're all just sick (Preview) I have a diary, an online blog, a computer diary (a MS document that I record my thoughts on) and I occasionally post here... I'm doing a whole lot of thinking. Everyday is a struggle for me I have tried to go to an F2F meeting but they don't have them any more in my area. The ladies that I called to get more inf...	jewel91	8	443	Sep 28, 2010 by xeno59
	No feelings? Numb feelings? (Preview) Is it normal to not have feelings or for your feelings to be muted or numb? I grew up in a highly dysfunctional home with an alcoholic father and a mother who borderline personality disorder mother, who eventually and is currently addicted to Rx meds. Now that I am in my early 40's it seems like I just wal...	caretaker	11	2650	Sep 28, 2010 by Maize
	Stopping the wounds (Preview) I decided after this last bout of depression and pain, that I am not going to put myself in hurtful situations anymore. Being alone, I had learned to "take care of things" that emotionally were breaking my heart. ex: euthanizing my own animals when suffering, burying them. Fixing heavy bi...	lyndebi	3	705	Sep 28, 2010 by xeno59
	hello - newhere, this message is for you (Preview) Hello, we chatted today and this was the nick name you used in chat. Please PM me when u see this message, as the email addy did not work for some reason, so the file came back to me. I didnt forget you! You can PM me here by clicking on my user name and I will immediately re-send u the info you wanted.	kitty	0	506	Sep 28, 2010 by kitty
	introducing myself.... (long) (Preview) Im fairly new to the program, and still have a lot swirling around me, having a tough time finding a stable place to land. I understand it will take time to build a new foundation, that parts of the old one that worked fairly well for me for a long time, have crumbled and Im not going to be able (nor should I)...	prisca	7	845	Sep 28, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	Outside Issue? Please consider.... (Preview) Hi everyone, I have been nominated by someone (anonomously) to to go to jail "FOR GOOD" in an effort to help the MDA raise funds for "Jerry's Kids". My bail will be 2500.00 dollars and all of it will go directly to the MDA. I accepted this opportunity to make a difference in the life of someone else. I...	John	2	532	Sep 28, 2010 by Andrea12
	Am I doing this right? (Preview) I haven't felt the way I feel in a very long time. I am feeling very anxious, scared, and insecure with my finanacial picture. I lost my job in May, ex AH stopped paying child support a month ago & now we are concerned that my husband my loose his job very soon. I am trying not to project. I am trying to con...	AlaMom	4	742	Sep 28, 2010 by Andrea12
	Alcoholism and the family.... (Preview) When I first got into Al-Anon and we use to read the definition of alcoholism, only one part of that definition mentioned that alcoholism affects everyone it comes into contact with and I pretty much accepted that. Over the years I have been here I have had daily affirmation that it was true and contin...	Jerry F	6	860	Sep 28, 2010 by Andrea12
	Elusive Happiness.... (Preview) I'm really bottoming out today....I haven't felt this depressed in a few weeks. This stuff about my daughter (which I managed to not think about for a few weeks) is really bothering me now. Which brings me to the happiness concept. I still don't get how you can be happy when things are going wrong. A...	mjhyankees	8	477	Sep 27, 2010 by xeno59
	Alanon Speaker Cruise (Preview) ON SAT. I WENT TO A VERY LOVELY SPEAKER CRUISE. I WENT LAST YR. BUT THIS WAS MUCH BETTER & MORE SPIRITUAL FEELING. THE DAY WAS PERFECT--ALMOST 80 DEGREES. I EVEN LET MY HUSBAND GO--HA! HA! I ACTUALLY TALKED HIM OUT OF GOING FOR SELFISH REASONS LAST YR. I WAS REALLY GLAD HE WAS THERE BECAUSE HE WAS A GOOD...	Hoot Nanny	1	713	Sep 27, 2010 by hotrod
	Update (Preview) My brother has been on a binge since Wednesday where he can't talk, and can barely walk. He'll get plastered, pass out, then walk down to the store after he wakes up to get more beer, and the cycle starts all over again. I got a call from someone on the street last night that said he knocked on their door to...	NCSUgeology	3	668	Sep 27, 2010 by lyndebi
	That darn garage! (Preview) Hi everyone.. just checking in. Things with me are great! Have been going to the gym 3 times a week for 6 months now..lot some weight, gained some self confidence. I am getting happier with me. Progress not perfection is what is driving me this time, so I am not getting discouraged by the fact that th...	MissyPoo	6	657	Sep 27, 2010 by Christy
	shared too soon in wrong place? (Preview) I am having trouble getting past something that happened today. I lost it during class when I was sharing about the death of my mother. I started crying and could not stop. We were having an open discussion during one of my classes and I felt the need to share, but now I am embarassed and afraid of what peo...	kath	6	919	Sep 26, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Al-Anon for my teens??? (Preview) Is there anything online for my teens to let their voices be heard. I can't get them to read any books, or go to meetings. They have had counciling when AH was in Serenity Lane for ReHab (waste of money) The councilor said they were handling it all quite well in fact they handle it better than me. They ar...	snodebb	4	745	Sep 26, 2010 by jewel91
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.