Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Thlayli · Thlayli

Over the past few months there have been a few nights that my husband has gone out drinking, gone overboard and started gambling. The first time he did this was also the first time he'd just gone out drinking and refused to come home (he typically doesn't go out drinking at all much less not come home). ...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Hello MIP~Haven't posted in ages, due to personal reasons, but miss you all terribly, read your posts when I can, and keep all of you in my prayers. Just finished Round #2 of some major health issues, and as horrible as I feel right now physically....mentally it could not have turned out any better. As y...

Norma · Norma

I love it when I go to face to face meetings I feel a sence of connection, I wonder can I experience the same online

faith2011 · faith2011

This is my first post, so I'll try to be brief. My husband has been in AA and NA for almost 20 years and has been sober for 13. I married him 6 years ago. I sat in the rooms of AA and NA for two years with him. I learned in these rooms that men should work with men and women with women. He even shared about how ofte...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am learning to let go and Let God. Let it be.... Last night my A was at work. He drank at work. I knew it, but I had to tend to my own business so I got off the phone. When I picked him up, he was so drunk that he was tipping over etc. I got him home, he fell asleep on the couch. All this time, I was talking to my...

sally123 · sally123

I am new here, so I hope I am posting this in the correct place. I am going to be as brief as I can, to protect anonymity. I want to know if there are any safety guidelines for alanon groups. I suspect there might be a sexual predator coming to our meetings.

HAguirre · HAguirre

Okay so my mom is moving to arizona and she will not have a place to live so i told her she can live with me and my family bc we have a big house my husband didnt say anything about it and i just got a call from his dadsaying that my husband wants to live with him untill my mom moves out and has her own place. My mom ha...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Just need to say this aloud to someone and I can't find a live body who will understand around here. So I am speaking as I type. I admit I have no control over other people and their decisions and my life with this nervous reaction has become unmanagable. I know full well that a power greater than me can r...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I have been trying so hard to not react to my AHs ignoring me and condescending attitude. But at lunch, I went home and it all started. I put on a dish this morning to marinate for dinner. My AH informed me at lunch that he made plans to go have chips and tea with a friend this evening. Yes, its my TV night...

odalis · odalis

Please share. If you have remained with your active A, or remained with them while they were still drinking but you were in recovery (Alanon) could you please share your experiences. I am new to this whole thing. I have found such great support here and at f2f alanon meetings. I try to differentiate bet...

KM · KM

I have my up and down days. more up than down. Trying to give control over to HP but having difficulty with crap in my head and can't clear it out. I can have all day good then something happens with my AW to give me reason to make me think she is lying as she has in the past and been caught. she is in recovery righ...

Baba · Baba

Hi everyone, I apologize in advance for the long post. I am new here, new to the Al-Anon program. I have been to four F2F meetings and have been "lurking" here for the last week or so doing lots of reading. I have already had many questions answered, and gained so much insight and perspective f...

Doozy · Doozy

So, this came up in another discussion and I thought it warranted its own topic. I'm so curious about what others think about this idea and what your experience has been. Do you think there's value in couple's counseling or marriage counseling with an active alcoholic? How do you think that can/can't...

pineapple · pineapple

My ah continues to drink, is now on day nine of his latest binge. He's never gone this long before and it scares me. But I know there's nothing I can do about it. Last month we moved into separate rooms so at least I don't have to watch what he is doing to himself. I sometimes think he's trying to drink himsel...

Jozie · Jozie

What a Beautiful Day!!! I Hit My F2F Meeing last night and it was Awesome ;) It was About Choices... I have to say that Before Al-anon/ACOA my Choices in my Mind were Limited to the thoughts and Pleasures of others, I thought as long as Everyone around me was Happy then I too was Happy... Since al-anon I hav...

McHurting · McHurting

Hi all, this is my first post and I'm new to the alanon concept and guess I'm looking for something, anything. I grew up in an alcoholic and dysfunctional envirenment, neglected, abandoned and abused (in every way) at a very early age, sexually by a babysitter by the time I was 5 years old, my first memor...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I went to a meeting this week on the topic of the 4th step and the word illusions was floating around the room. In regard to the fact that we never did have control over the alcoholics in our lives. Even when they did what we wanted, what we Really had was the illusion of control. For that matter, there were...

clep · clep

I am excited for my A who has a new job as of today. He was working seasonal work for a very nice man who happens to be scatterbrained and just can't get it together enough to work consistently. We used to need the flexibility the job supplied but we don't anymore. I did let him know in the past week or two th...

kay115 · kay115

I am feeling very alone and emotionally/physically exhausted. I have been married to my AH for less than a year. Before we married, I knew that he ocassionally took it a little too far when drinking with his friends, but it did not seem to be serious, just annoying. A little over a year ago we moved from th...

Christy · Christy

Your reaction to a situation determines whether it will be positive or negative. If youre determined to label a situation positive, no matter how it appears, the result MUST be positive. If you label something negative, that MUST be your experience. Its never too late to change a situation because y...

atheos · atheos

New AA members are sometimes advised to do 90 meetings in their first 90 days. I know this doesn't happen as much in Al-Anon because in a lot of areas there aren't enough Al-Anon meetings for that to be possible. I am fortunate to live near a few major cities -- I've made a list of meetings, and it would be po...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Me! Yes, me :) I got a real life good old fashioned sponsor! :) So onward and upward, one day at a time ... I feel so good now! She said yes and we are going to keep on doing what we are doing :) Thanks all!

Pushka · Pushka

I mentioned a couple weeks back we had some major drama (of her own doing) with this crazy neighbor teen, in regards to the kittens that were around. At first I felt bad about the situation now I really don't. We didn't do anything wrong, the poor mama kitty was never fed so she started coming here for fo...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I'm so completely angry with myself. Angry that I'm so addicted to my addict. I've been doing pretty well. Stepping back, looking at an entire situation, an entire conversation...constantly looking to see if it's in MY best interest. I've been stronger than I've ever been before. Until tonig...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AH's best friend and his wife came over tonight to visit. He told me that since I left my AH 4 months ago, his drinking has gotten much worse and that he had to tell my AH that he can no longer be around him while he continues to binge with his drinking. It was almost like hearing his friend tell me that the ca...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

Hello family: I was at my home meeting last week and led the meeting. One member shared that she was thinking about me and what I shared the week before. And, she mentioned that she was discussing it with a friend and had a good laugh about it. Further, she even described me to her friend, how I look and all....

michellelong · michellelong

I know I am not supposed to let my AH's disease control me and maybe it is because I only saught help a few days ago and I am new to this chapter of my life but I can't help the overwhelming feelings I am having. My AH just told me that he was going to go visit his dad, who has not been in the best of health lately and...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am very concerned about my cat. I know she is around now but she eats very little & hides under a tarp. I feel so worried for my husband too. He is beside himself trying to keep her alive & well! I know that she must be traumatized or something because she loves my husband & has always responde...

atheos · atheos

I feel insecure and shy most of the time. Recently, I have been remembering incidents from my childhood (mostly things my dad said or did) that really, really hurt, and probably played a large role in me growing up to be this shy and insecure. Those memories hurt, and thinking about them is making me fee...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

A few days ago, I had submitted a new post (Private Counseling vs Al-Anon). Since the initial post is further down on page 1 and will soon go to page 2, I decided to create a new post to thank all the participants. Each post helped me to gain more clarity on this topic. And I think many people helped each o...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I think dh is dealing with serious depression now. He hasn't had a drink in quite some time as he says he doesn't even want it. Nothing stirs him, nothing inspires him, he feels nothing. Here's what I typed up to a friend via email this AM:I hadn't been bugging dh about his therapy sessions nor had I bee...

lostbird3 · lostbird3

My boyfriend and I have been through many rough patches because of his alcoholism for 2 1/2 years... About 10 months ago I started attending Al-Anon and I've really been able to see how I've contributed to many of our arguments. About 5 months ago, I made the conscious decision to stop fighting back (i...

Della · Della

Hello, Not been here for a couple of months. For those who don't know, my fiancé of 5 years passed away in April from alcoholism. I recently read about a couple where the husband was an A and recovered but then his marriage didn't survive. This was because he changed when he gave himself to the higher bein...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I spent some time with my mom today- she's 73 years young : ) She had this to say to me today: "I can't believe "your AH" has a drinking problem. He's a very bright and well educated man. He should know better." As if he had a choice! I felt the need to educate her a bit. I explained to he...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I find now that my AH isn't drinking and is going to counseling, and we are actually getting along better, I am actually bored. Bored with our marriage, bored with myself and my future and filling like I'm not getting my needs met. For a short period, he doted on me immensely. It made me think we had a cha...

odalis · odalis

Hey everyone. I just wanted to share with someone! I heard the words over and over again...we are powerless and our lives have become unmanageable. And I really tried to listen to them and thought I understood them. Well, I didn't realize just how manageable my life had actually become.....emotiona...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

First I want to thank you all for your responses and messages of encouragement. I believe I've truely found the place to be. I have YET to make it to a f2f meeting. Schedule is not exactly working out the way I had hoped. I have been doing lots of reading and have a couple of more books ordered and on the w...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Its not really alanon related, but the more people praying, maybe he will make it home. He is a Maine Coon and he is 3 years old. he is an indoor cat and he has asthma so the terrible weather we are having here with the heat and humidity is making me scared for him. He escaped out the window last night, the...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I hope it's okay that I post a bit of a story for y'all. Not sure if it's appropriate on this board, so if it's not I hope someone will speak up. So I'm not a very religious person. Never have been. I completely respect other people's faiths. I respect their HP, whether it be God, Jehovah, Buddah... heck...

NovSun · NovSun

Hi There, Newbie here... I have a question regarding private counseling for the alcoholic vs AA? My A does not believe in a HP at this point (although he was raised Lutheran). So he has often said that AA makes him feel uncomfortable. Last week I did see him reading the AA book, though. And Friday he mad...

HAguirre · HAguirre

I was just told by my husband that he didnt want me to help him with his recovery he wants to do it all by himself. Also that he doesnt care about how i am feeling or what is going on around him with our family all he wants is to be left alone. He said that when i talk about my feelings that he doesnt care and that is...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Why do I feel so enraged every time my daughter hangs up on me? I don`t feel a bit of serenity... I feel enraged.. I can`t have a civil conversation with her if its something she doesn`t want to hear, she hangs up on me! I`am so ripping angry.. I put up with this crap all to have grandaughter around and she is t...

luv123 · luv123

Slogans:One of my faves is One Day at a Time-I too often am inclined to get way ahead of myself & project past experiences onto possible future outcomes. I believe it is a way of self protection that worked in the past, but is no longer serving me. When I go to a meeting and hear or pick up the literature...

HAguirre · HAguirre

I have relized that my husband needs to do this alone. And i am willing to stand by his side though his iop program he has 2 more weeks left, but when that is over and he is done i am thinking of making him choose. Either he goes down the new path with me and his kids and there is marriage counceling or he can choo...

chinup · chinup

ive met a guy 2 weeks ago didnt know him from adam,we went out and then he called me everyday 2x a day and then we went out or spent the day together the next weekend,now im falling for him,i think im crazy,i didnt expect that to happpen so quick scares me i dont think his feelings for me r the same he says he do...

Slugcat · Slugcat

I have had an alki step father. I am a recovering alki myself. Whats got me twisted up is a loved ones other addiction though. When he talks about his plans and schemes how he is going to control this addiction. What do I say back? Oh thats great? I dont want to say that is great. I want to yell GO TO A DAMN 12 St...

michellelong · michellelong

After coming home from dropping my AH off at jail for the next two nights, one of 19 more from his last DUI, my telephone rang, it was one of his friends that has been sober for 6 years. This is someone who I thought I could count on to help me talk some sense into my AH but has turned out to be nothing more than an...

MariaM · MariaM

My life is out of control, a friend I respect said I should try al-anon... I went to a local meeting on a day I got sent home from work, it was okay I guess. Most of the people were WAY older than me and I felt a little singled out. There are not any local meetings in my area that are outside of my work hours.There...

Pushka · Pushka

I noticed that there seems to be a theme on anger recently, .. lol .. not that I haven't had my share of that emotion recently. It keeps creeping in on me and I have to remember what is mine, his and ours together .. lol. Last week I heard a great quote, I swear I thought I had read it here on the boards I know i...

oldergal · oldergal

When I starting reading Alanon literature I couldn't really get a grasp on what enabling was and separating it from compassion. I was helped by many and now I can boil it down to one sentence. "Do not do for others what they can and should do for themselves" This helped me and then it wasn't so c...

michellelong · michellelong

I'm sorry to keep venting but I am hoping this is what the board is for. I am not having a good day like I hoped for and I don't understand why! As I have said in a previous post, my AH is in jail serving the third of 22 weekends from a DUI back in January. He comes home at 6PM tomorrow. He calls me but sounds distan...

Mylife · Mylife

I am new to this forum. I have an alcoholic mother, she got sober about 11 years ago as the result of being admitted to the hospital after a bad fall and being diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. It took her about a month to fully detox and then another month in physical therapy to learn how to walk again....

tweety23 · tweety23

Hi all, I haven't posted in a while.. I am feeling a little down the last few days and need to vent. I feel like my life is over. Don't mean that as dramatically as it sounds, ie I am dying, but just the fun and adventure and good times for me are done. Right now my entire goal and focus is on my kids, that they...

HAguirre · HAguirre

Is it normal to feel like nothing is happening nothing is moving forward. i have the book for alanon i admit my life is unmanigable i admit i am powerless i have gave it to god even though it still hurts I dont understand how or where i am supose to do now. How come i'm not feeling better what do i do with the bo...

michellelong · michellelong

I'm brand new to the group, been looking for something like this for a long time. I have been married to an alcoholic/drug abuser for 6 years. The longest he has gone without anything is 11 months. I have had 2-5 month periods of happiness as well but it never lasts. I am to the point where I never know if he i...

maresie · maresie

An alcoholic who lived next to me has finally been evicted. He had a small dog who I was feeding by the time he left. If I had his phone number I'd probably still be feeding him. I detached a great deal from him over the year he lived next to me. Nevertheless his chaos, constant crises and complete and tota...

luv123 · luv123

Tradition 7 self supporting-declining outside contributions I remember reading a nice forum article from way back in the 80's. It dilineated ways we could apply tradtions to our home and family life. This tradition was especially helpful to me while I was learning to apply the Al-anon principl...

ditto · ditto

http://www.statesman.com/opinion/insight/texas-expert-addiction-science-has-taken-giant-steps-1642154.html

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi gang.... just wanted to re-post this today, about the importance of "balance" in our lives.... even with respect to recovery stuff vs. other stuff - whether it is dealing with our A's specifically, or life in general.... For me, I had a tendency to try and find "too much recover...

lacewing · lacewing

I remember when I first came to recognize that Alcohol was possibly, at least part of the problem in my marriage. I was so desperate to learn what was wrong with my family, wrong with me and wrong in general. I wanted to fix it, understand it and get as far away from what was happening as I could. I had trie...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	How do you handle money? (Preview) Over the past few months there have been a few nights that my husband has gone out drinking, gone overboard and started gambling. The first time he did this was also the first time he'd just gone out drinking and refused to come home (he typically doesn't go out drinking at all much less not come home). ...	Thlayli	7	685	Jul 28, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Letting Go...one day at a time (Preview) Hello MIP~Haven't posted in ages, due to personal reasons, but miss you all terribly, read your posts when I can, and keep all of you in my prayers. Just finished Round #2 of some major health issues, and as horrible as I feel right now physically....mentally it could not have turned out any better. As y...	shellyj123	7	725	Jul 28, 2011 by flopadopilus
	sense of connection (Preview) I love it when I go to face to face meetings I feel a sence of connection, I wonder can I experience the same online	Norma	5	447	Jul 28, 2011 by flopadopilus
	In AA rooms - men working with men and women with women (Preview) This is my first post, so I'll try to be brief. My husband has been in AA and NA for almost 20 years and has been sober for 13. I married him 6 years ago. I sat in the rooms of AA and NA for two years with him. I learned in these rooms that men should work with men and women with women. He even shared about how ofte...	faith2011	4	348	Jul 28, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Let it be (Preview) I am learning to let go and Let God. Let it be.... Last night my A was at work. He drank at work. I knew it, but I had to tend to my own business so I got off the phone. When I picked him up, he was so drunk that he was tipping over etc. I got him home, he fell asleep on the couch. All this time, I was talking to my...	youfoundme	10	719	Jul 28, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	Safety Guidelines in Alanon meeting (Preview) I am new here, so I hope I am posting this in the correct place. I am going to be as brief as I can, to protect anonymity. I want to know if there are any safety guidelines for alanon groups. I suspect there might be a sexual predator coming to our meetings.	sally123	3	1008	Jul 28, 2011 by xeno59
	now on road to divorce and scared and dont know what to do? (Preview) Okay so my mom is moving to arizona and she will not have a place to live so i told her she can live with me and my family bc we have a big house my husband didnt say anything about it and i just got a call from his dadsaying that my husband wants to live with him untill my mom moves out and has her own place. My mom ha...	HAguirre	7	497	Jul 28, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	Relapse in my affairs (Preview) Just need to say this aloud to someone and I can't find a live body who will understand around here. So I am speaking as I type. I admit I have no control over other people and their decisions and my life with this nervous reaction has become unmanagable. I know full well that a power greater than me can r...	Jennifer	8	551	Jul 28, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Anybody out there that can give me a little perspective here? (Preview) I have been trying so hard to not react to my AHs ignoring me and condescending attitude. But at lunch, I went home and it all started. I put on a dish this morning to marinate for dinner. My AH informed me at lunch that he made plans to go have chips and tea with a friend this evening. Yes, its my TV night...	oldgraduate	7	455	Jul 28, 2011 by oldgraduate
	Possible to achieve sanity when still living with the AH? (Preview) Please share. If you have remained with your active A, or remained with them while they were still drinking but you were in recovery (Alanon) could you please share your experiences. I am new to this whole thing. I have found such great support here and at f2f alanon meetings. I try to differentiate bet...	odalis	18	889	Jul 28, 2011 by 2nice4_2long
	Step 3 no sponsor yet (Preview) I have my up and down days. more up than down. Trying to give control over to HP but having difficulty with crap in my head and can't clear it out. I can have all day good then something happens with my AW to give me reason to make me think she is lying as she has in the past and been caught. she is in recovery righ...	KM	7	464	Jul 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Help in applying the principles (Preview) Hi everyone, I apologize in advance for the long post. I am new here, new to the Al-Anon program. I have been to four F2F meetings and have been "lurking" here for the last week or so doing lots of reading. I have already had many questions answered, and gained so much insight and perspective f...	Baba	1	481	Jul 28, 2011 by Jerry F
	Couple's / Marriage Counseling ?? (Preview) So, this came up in another discussion and I thought it warranted its own topic. I'm so curious about what others think about this idea and what your experience has been. Do you think there's value in couple's counseling or marriage counseling with an active alcoholic? How do you think that can/can't...	Doozy	17	1108	Jul 27, 2011 by kay115
	Today (Preview) My ah continues to drink, is now on day nine of his latest binge. He's never gone this long before and it scares me. But I know there's nothing I can do about it. Last month we moved into separate rooms so at least I don't have to watch what he is doing to himself. I sometimes think he's trying to drink himsel...	pineapple	8	381	Jul 27, 2011 by hotrod
	Lifes Excitement... Thanks to My Program! (Preview) What a Beautiful Day!!! I Hit My F2F Meeing last night and it was Awesome ;) It was About Choices... I have to say that Before Al-anon/ACOA my Choices in my Mind were Limited to the thoughts and Pleasures of others, I thought as long as Everyone around me was Happy then I too was Happy... Since al-anon I hav...	Jozie	6	404	Jul 27, 2011 by hotrod
	Walking away (Preview) Hi all, this is my first post and I'm new to the alanon concept and guess I'm looking for something, anything. I grew up in an alcoholic and dysfunctional envirenment, neglected, abandoned and abused (in every way) at a very early age, sexually by a babysitter by the time I was 5 years old, my first memor...	McHurting	6	781	Jul 27, 2011 by tommyecat
	help .. ugh (Preview) I went to a meeting this week on the topic of the 4th step and the word illusions was floating around the room. In regard to the fact that we never did have control over the alcoholics in our lives. Even when they did what we wanted, what we Really had was the illusion of control. For that matter, there were...	MeTwo2	10	746	Jul 27, 2011 by Lyne
	My A got a new job. (Preview) I am excited for my A who has a new job as of today. He was working seasonal work for a very nice man who happens to be scatterbrained and just can't get it together enough to work consistently. We used to need the flexibility the job supplied but we don't anymore. I did let him know in the past week or two th...	clep	3	397	Jul 27, 2011 by youfoundme
	First Post (Preview) I am feeling very alone and emotionally/physically exhausted. I have been married to my AH for less than a year. Before we married, I knew that he ocassionally took it a little too far when drinking with his friends, but it did not seem to be serious, just annoying. A little over a year ago we moved from th...	kay115	13	481	Jul 27, 2011 by kay115
	Positive or Negative? (Preview) Your reaction to a situation determines whether it will be positive or negative. If youre determined to label a situation positive, no matter how it appears, the result MUST be positive. If you label something negative, that MUST be your experience. Its never too late to change a situation because y...	Christy	5	965	Jul 27, 2011 by youfoundme
	Anyone do an Al-Anon 90-90? (Preview) New AA members are sometimes advised to do 90 meetings in their first 90 days. I know this doesn't happen as much in Al-Anon because in a lot of areas there aren't enough Al-Anon meetings for that to be possible. I am fortunate to live near a few major cities -- I've made a list of meetings, and it would be po...	atheos	8	1118	Jul 27, 2011 by clep
	Guess who got a sponsor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) Me! Yes, me :) I got a real life good old fashioned sponsor! :) So onward and upward, one day at a time ... I feel so good now! She said yes and we are going to keep on doing what we are doing :) Thanks all!	youfoundme	6	394	Jul 27, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Karma AND working my program (Preview) I mentioned a couple weeks back we had some major drama (of her own doing) with this crazy neighbor teen, in regards to the kittens that were around. At first I felt bad about the situation now I really don't. We didn't do anything wrong, the poor mama kitty was never fed so she started coming here for fo...	Pushka	1	382	Jul 27, 2011 by youfoundme
	Tough night..... (Preview) I'm so completely angry with myself. Angry that I'm so addicted to my addict. I've been doing pretty well. Stepping back, looking at an entire situation, an entire conversation...constantly looking to see if it's in MY best interest. I've been stronger than I've ever been before. Until tonig...	ELEKTRAWMN	7	856	Jul 27, 2011 by youfoundme
	My AH is Deep in his Disease (Preview) My AH's best friend and his wife came over tonight to visit. He told me that since I left my AH 4 months ago, his drinking has gotten much worse and that he had to tell my AH that he can no longer be around him while he continues to binge with his drinking. It was almost like hearing his friend tell me that the ca...	Green Eyes	6	338	Jul 27, 2011 by Green Eyes
	One of my Alanon sister broke my anonimity (Preview) Hello family: I was at my home meeting last week and led the meeting. One member shared that she was thinking about me and what I shared the week before. And, she mentioned that she was discussing it with a friend and had a good laugh about it. Further, she even described me to her friend, how I look and all....	hawaiilover	8	805	Jul 27, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Having a tough day (Preview) I know I am not supposed to let my AH's disease control me and maybe it is because I only saught help a few days ago and I am new to this chapter of my life but I can't help the overwhelming feelings I am having. My AH just told me that he was going to go visit his dad, who has not been in the best of health lately and...	michellelong	6	396	Jul 26, 2011 by MeTwo2
	what happened w/ my cat? (Preview) I am very concerned about my cat. I know she is around now but she eats very little & hides under a tarp. I feel so worried for my husband too. He is beside himself trying to keep her alive & well! I know that she must be traumatized or something because she loves my husband & has always responde...	Hoot Nanny	5	510	Jul 26, 2011 by Debilyn
	Is there value in digging up the past? (Preview) I feel insecure and shy most of the time. Recently, I have been remembering incidents from my childhood (mostly things my dad said or did) that really, really hurt, and probably played a large role in me growing up to be this shy and insecure. Those memories hurt, and thinking about them is making me fee...	atheos	9	638	Jul 26, 2011 by Doozy
	Responding to All the Replies Recently Posted counseling vs al-anon (Preview) A few days ago, I had submitted a new post (Private Counseling vs Al-Anon). Since the initial post is further down on page 1 and will soon go to page 2, I decided to create a new post to thank all the participants. Each post helped me to gain more clarity on this topic. And I think many people helped each o...	GailMichelle	10	649	Jul 26, 2011 by flopadopilus
	My husband has hit rock bottom, I think (Preview) I think dh is dealing with serious depression now. He hasn't had a drink in quite some time as he says he doesn't even want it. Nothing stirs him, nothing inspires him, he feels nothing. Here's what I typed up to a friend via email this AM:I hadn't been bugging dh about his therapy sessions nor had I bee...	ilovedogs	6	2766	Jul 26, 2011 by pinkchip
	Loving relationship with an alcoholic (Preview) My boyfriend and I have been through many rough patches because of his alcoholism for 2 1/2 years... About 10 months ago I started attending Al-Anon and I've really been able to see how I've contributed to many of our arguments. About 5 months ago, I made the conscious decision to stop fighting back (i...	lostbird3	8	478	Jul 26, 2011 by lostbird3
	Relationship surviving when a alcoholic recovers (Preview) Hello, Not been here for a couple of months. For those who don't know, my fiancé of 5 years passed away in April from alcoholism. I recently read about a couple where the husband was an A and recovered but then his marriage didn't survive. This was because he changed when he gave himself to the higher bein...	Della	13	1733	Jul 26, 2011 by kay115
	Alcoholism Does Not Discriminate (Preview) I spent some time with my mom today- she's 73 years young : ) She had this to say to me today: "I can't believe "your AH" has a drinking problem. He's a very bright and well educated man. He should know better." As if he had a choice! I felt the need to educate her a bit. I explained to he...	Green Eyes	6	532	Jul 26, 2011 by canadianguy
	conflict versus nothingness (Preview) I find now that my AH isn't drinking and is going to counseling, and we are actually getting along better, I am actually bored. Bored with our marriage, bored with myself and my future and filling like I'm not getting my needs met. For a short period, he doted on me immensely. It made me think we had a cha...	oldgraduate	7	568	Jul 26, 2011 by oldgraduate
	Something good, something sad...my realization (Preview) Hey everyone. I just wanted to share with someone! I heard the words over and over again...we are powerless and our lives have become unmanageable. And I really tried to listen to them and thought I understood them. Well, I didn't realize just how manageable my life had actually become.....emotiona...	odalis	12	486	Jul 26, 2011 by xeno59
	Hi! Just a little update... (Preview) First I want to thank you all for your responses and messages of encouragement. I believe I've truely found the place to be. I have YET to make it to a f2f meeting. Schedule is not exactly working out the way I had hoped. I have been doing lots of reading and have a couple of more books ordered and on the w...	ELEKTRAWMN	6	584	Jul 26, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	Pray for my cat (Preview) Its not really alanon related, but the more people praying, maybe he will make it home. He is a Maine Coon and he is 3 years old. he is an indoor cat and he has asthma so the terrible weather we are having here with the heat and humidity is making me scared for him. He escaped out the window last night, the...	youfoundme	19	716	Jul 26, 2011 by TheJeanGenie
	Maybe it's a sign..... (Preview) I hope it's okay that I post a bit of a story for y'all. Not sure if it's appropriate on this board, so if it's not I hope someone will speak up. So I'm not a very religious person. Never have been. I completely respect other people's faiths. I respect their HP, whether it be God, Jehovah, Buddah... heck...	ELEKTRAWMN	14	762	Jul 26, 2011 by Jozie
	Counseling vs AA? (Preview) Hi There, Newbie here... I have a question regarding private counseling for the alcoholic vs AA? My A does not believe in a HP at this point (although he was raised Lutheran). So he has often said that AA makes him feel uncomfortable. Last week I did see him reading the AA book, though. And Friday he mad...	NovSun	10	1427	Jul 26, 2011 by NovSun
	Dont know what to do now with marriage (Preview) I was just told by my husband that he didnt want me to help him with his recovery he wants to do it all by himself. Also that he doesnt care about how i am feeling or what is going on around him with our family all he wants is to be left alone. He said that when i talk about my feelings that he doesnt care and that is...	HAguirre	9	532	Jul 25, 2011 by maryjane
	The Bull I put up with... I must still be insane (Preview) Why do I feel so enraged every time my daughter hangs up on me? I don`t feel a bit of serenity... I feel enraged.. I can`t have a civil conversation with her if its something she doesn`t want to hear, she hangs up on me! I`am so ripping angry.. I put up with this crap all to have grandaughter around and she is t...	Samsgram	3	873	Jul 25, 2011 by Samsgram
	What's your favorite slogan & why? (Preview) Slogans:One of my faves is One Day at a Time-I too often am inclined to get way ahead of myself & project past experiences onto possible future outcomes. I believe it is a way of self protection that worked in the past, but is no longer serving me. When I go to a meeting and hear or pick up the literature...	luv123	8	789	Jul 25, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	I cant and wont live this way does it make me a bad person (Preview) I have relized that my husband needs to do this alone. And i am willing to stand by his side though his iop program he has 2 more weeks left, but when that is over and he is done i am thinking of making him choose. Either he goes down the new path with me and his kids and there is marriage counceling or he can choo...	HAguirre	6	484	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	am i normal (Preview) ive met a guy 2 weeks ago didnt know him from adam,we went out and then he called me everyday 2x a day and then we went out or spent the day together the next weekend,now im falling for him,i think im crazy,i didnt expect that to happpen so quick scares me i dont think his feelings for me r the same he says he do...	chinup	4	509	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	what do I say (Preview) I have had an alki step father. I am a recovering alki myself. Whats got me twisted up is a loved ones other addiction though. When he talks about his plans and schemes how he is going to control this addiction. What do I say back? Oh thats great? I dont want to say that is great. I want to yell GO TO A DAMN 12 St...	Slugcat	5	603	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	Tired of Enabler's (Preview) After coming home from dropping my AH off at jail for the next two nights, one of 19 more from his last DUI, my telephone rang, it was one of his friends that has been sober for 6 years. This is someone who I thought I could count on to help me talk some sense into my AH but has turned out to be nothing more than an...	michellelong	6	547	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	Hello (Preview) My life is out of control, a friend I respect said I should try al-anon... I went to a local meeting on a day I got sent home from work, it was okay I guess. Most of the people were WAY older than me and I felt a little singled out. There are not any local meetings in my area that are outside of my work hours.There...	MariaM	13	611	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	A share (Preview) I noticed that there seems to be a theme on anger recently, .. lol .. not that I haven't had my share of that emotion recently. It keeps creeping in on me and I have to remember what is mine, his and ours together .. lol. Last week I heard a great quote, I swear I thought I had read it here on the boards I know i...	Pushka	2	339	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	Thoughts on Enabling and Anger (Preview) When I starting reading Alanon literature I couldn't really get a grasp on what enabling was and separating it from compassion. I was helped by many and now I can boil it down to one sentence. "Do not do for others what they can and should do for themselves" This helped me and then it wasn't so c...	oldergal	3	771	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	Feeling the need to share again...and again... (Preview) I'm sorry to keep venting but I am hoping this is what the board is for. I am not having a good day like I hoped for and I don't understand why! As I have said in a previous post, my AH is in jail serving the third of 22 weekends from a DUI back in January. He comes home at 6PM tomorrow. He calls me but sounds distan...	michellelong	3	371	Jul 25, 2011 by michellelong
	I don't know what to do. (Preview) I am new to this forum. I have an alcoholic mother, she got sober about 11 years ago as the result of being admitted to the hospital after a bad fall and being diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. It took her about a month to fully detox and then another month in physical therapy to learn how to walk again....	Mylife	5	497	Jul 25, 2011 by Pushka
	Just random thoughts (Preview) Hi all, I haven't posted in a while.. I am feeling a little down the last few days and need to vent. I feel like my life is over. Don't mean that as dramatically as it sounds, ie I am dying, but just the fun and adventure and good times for me are done. Right now my entire goal and focus is on my kids, that they...	tweety23	3	368	Jul 25, 2011 by Pushka
	Standing still Still drowning (Preview) Is it normal to feel like nothing is happening nothing is moving forward. i have the book for alanon i admit my life is unmanigable i admit i am powerless i have gave it to god even though it still hurts I dont understand how or where i am supose to do now. How come i'm not feeling better what do i do with the bo...	HAguirre	2	457	Jul 24, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Depressed in NC (Preview) I'm brand new to the group, been looking for something like this for a long time. I have been married to an alcoholic/drug abuser for 6 years. The longest he has gone without anything is 11 months. I have had 2-5 month periods of happiness as well but it never lasts. I am to the point where I never know if he i...	michellelong	10	515	Jul 24, 2011 by tweety23
	Letting go (Preview) An alcoholic who lived next to me has finally been evicted. He had a small dog who I was feeding by the time he left. If I had his phone number I'd probably still be feeding him. I detached a great deal from him over the year he lived next to me. Nevertheless his chaos, constant crises and complete and tota...	maresie	6	495	Jul 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Tradition 7 in dealing with my kids (Preview) Tradition 7 self supporting-declining outside contributions I remember reading a nice forum article from way back in the 80's. It dilineated ways we could apply tradtions to our home and family life. This tradition was especially helpful to me while I was learning to apply the Al-anon principl...	luv123	3	993	Jul 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	The Science of Addiction (Preview) http://www.statesman.com/opinion/insight/texas-expert-addiction-science-has-taken-giant-steps-1642154.html	ditto	5	563	Jul 24, 2011 by ifa
	Balancing Act (Preview) Hi gang.... just wanted to re-post this today, about the importance of "balance" in our lives.... even with respect to recovery stuff vs. other stuff - whether it is dealing with our A's specifically, or life in general.... For me, I had a tendency to try and find "too much recover...	canadianguy	11	812	Jul 24, 2011 by GailMichelle
	The Blue Balloon (Preview) I remember when I first came to recognize that Alcohol was possibly, at least part of the problem in my marriage. I was so desperate to learn what was wrong with my family, wrong with me and wrong in general. I wanted to fix it, understand it and get as far away from what was happening as I could. I had trie...	lacewing	7	759	Jul 23, 2011 by GailMichelle
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.