Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

clep · clep

I am excited for my A who has a new job as of today. He was working seasonal work for a very nice man who happens to be scatterbrained and just can't get it together enough to work consistently. We used to need the flexibility the job supplied but we don't anymore. I did let him know in the past week or two th...

kay115 · kay115

I am feeling very alone and emotionally/physically exhausted. I have been married to my AH for less than a year. Before we married, I knew that he ocassionally took it a little too far when drinking with his friends, but it did not seem to be serious, just annoying. A little over a year ago we moved from th...

Christy · Christy

Your reaction to a situation determines whether it will be positive or negative. If youre determined to label a situation positive, no matter how it appears, the result MUST be positive. If you label something negative, that MUST be your experience. Its never too late to change a situation because y...

atheos · atheos

New AA members are sometimes advised to do 90 meetings in their first 90 days. I know this doesn't happen as much in Al-Anon because in a lot of areas there aren't enough Al-Anon meetings for that to be possible. I am fortunate to live near a few major cities -- I've made a list of meetings, and it would be po...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Me! Yes, me :) I got a real life good old fashioned sponsor! :) So onward and upward, one day at a time ... I feel so good now! She said yes and we are going to keep on doing what we are doing :) Thanks all!

Pushka · Pushka

I mentioned a couple weeks back we had some major drama (of her own doing) with this crazy neighbor teen, in regards to the kittens that were around. At first I felt bad about the situation now I really don't. We didn't do anything wrong, the poor mama kitty was never fed so she started coming here for fo...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I'm so completely angry with myself. Angry that I'm so addicted to my addict. I've been doing pretty well. Stepping back, looking at an entire situation, an entire conversation...constantly looking to see if it's in MY best interest. I've been stronger than I've ever been before. Until tonig...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

My AH's best friend and his wife came over tonight to visit. He told me that since I left my AH 4 months ago, his drinking has gotten much worse and that he had to tell my AH that he can no longer be around him while he continues to binge with his drinking. It was almost like hearing his friend tell me that the ca...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

Hello family: I was at my home meeting last week and led the meeting. One member shared that she was thinking about me and what I shared the week before. And, she mentioned that she was discussing it with a friend and had a good laugh about it. Further, she even described me to her friend, how I look and all....

michellelong · michellelong

I know I am not supposed to let my AH's disease control me and maybe it is because I only saught help a few days ago and I am new to this chapter of my life but I can't help the overwhelming feelings I am having. My AH just told me that he was going to go visit his dad, who has not been in the best of health lately and...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am very concerned about my cat. I know she is around now but she eats very little & hides under a tarp. I feel so worried for my husband too. He is beside himself trying to keep her alive & well! I know that she must be traumatized or something because she loves my husband & has always responde...

atheos · atheos

I feel insecure and shy most of the time. Recently, I have been remembering incidents from my childhood (mostly things my dad said or did) that really, really hurt, and probably played a large role in me growing up to be this shy and insecure. Those memories hurt, and thinking about them is making me fee...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

A few days ago, I had submitted a new post (Private Counseling vs Al-Anon). Since the initial post is further down on page 1 and will soon go to page 2, I decided to create a new post to thank all the participants. Each post helped me to gain more clarity on this topic. And I think many people helped each o...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I think dh is dealing with serious depression now. He hasn't had a drink in quite some time as he says he doesn't even want it. Nothing stirs him, nothing inspires him, he feels nothing. Here's what I typed up to a friend via email this AM:I hadn't been bugging dh about his therapy sessions nor had I bee...

lostbird3 · lostbird3

My boyfriend and I have been through many rough patches because of his alcoholism for 2 1/2 years... About 10 months ago I started attending Al-Anon and I've really been able to see how I've contributed to many of our arguments. About 5 months ago, I made the conscious decision to stop fighting back (i...

Della · Della

Hello, Not been here for a couple of months. For those who don't know, my fiancé of 5 years passed away in April from alcoholism. I recently read about a couple where the husband was an A and recovered but then his marriage didn't survive. This was because he changed when he gave himself to the higher bein...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I spent some time with my mom today- she's 73 years young : ) She had this to say to me today: "I can't believe "your AH" has a drinking problem. He's a very bright and well educated man. He should know better." As if he had a choice! I felt the need to educate her a bit. I explained to he...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I find now that my AH isn't drinking and is going to counseling, and we are actually getting along better, I am actually bored. Bored with our marriage, bored with myself and my future and filling like I'm not getting my needs met. For a short period, he doted on me immensely. It made me think we had a cha...

odalis · odalis

Hey everyone. I just wanted to share with someone! I heard the words over and over again...we are powerless and our lives have become unmanageable. And I really tried to listen to them and thought I understood them. Well, I didn't realize just how manageable my life had actually become.....emotiona...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

First I want to thank you all for your responses and messages of encouragement. I believe I've truely found the place to be. I have YET to make it to a f2f meeting. Schedule is not exactly working out the way I had hoped. I have been doing lots of reading and have a couple of more books ordered and on the w...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Its not really alanon related, but the more people praying, maybe he will make it home. He is a Maine Coon and he is 3 years old. he is an indoor cat and he has asthma so the terrible weather we are having here with the heat and humidity is making me scared for him. He escaped out the window last night, the...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I hope it's okay that I post a bit of a story for y'all. Not sure if it's appropriate on this board, so if it's not I hope someone will speak up. So I'm not a very religious person. Never have been. I completely respect other people's faiths. I respect their HP, whether it be God, Jehovah, Buddah... heck...

NovSun · NovSun

Hi There, Newbie here... I have a question regarding private counseling for the alcoholic vs AA? My A does not believe in a HP at this point (although he was raised Lutheran). So he has often said that AA makes him feel uncomfortable. Last week I did see him reading the AA book, though. And Friday he mad...

HAguirre · HAguirre

I was just told by my husband that he didnt want me to help him with his recovery he wants to do it all by himself. Also that he doesnt care about how i am feeling or what is going on around him with our family all he wants is to be left alone. He said that when i talk about my feelings that he doesnt care and that is...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Why do I feel so enraged every time my daughter hangs up on me? I don`t feel a bit of serenity... I feel enraged.. I can`t have a civil conversation with her if its something she doesn`t want to hear, she hangs up on me! I`am so ripping angry.. I put up with this crap all to have grandaughter around and she is t...

luv123 · luv123

Slogans:One of my faves is One Day at a Time-I too often am inclined to get way ahead of myself & project past experiences onto possible future outcomes. I believe it is a way of self protection that worked in the past, but is no longer serving me. When I go to a meeting and hear or pick up the literature...

HAguirre · HAguirre

I have relized that my husband needs to do this alone. And i am willing to stand by his side though his iop program he has 2 more weeks left, but when that is over and he is done i am thinking of making him choose. Either he goes down the new path with me and his kids and there is marriage counceling or he can choo...

chinup · chinup

ive met a guy 2 weeks ago didnt know him from adam,we went out and then he called me everyday 2x a day and then we went out or spent the day together the next weekend,now im falling for him,i think im crazy,i didnt expect that to happpen so quick scares me i dont think his feelings for me r the same he says he do...

Slugcat · Slugcat

I have had an alki step father. I am a recovering alki myself. Whats got me twisted up is a loved ones other addiction though. When he talks about his plans and schemes how he is going to control this addiction. What do I say back? Oh thats great? I dont want to say that is great. I want to yell GO TO A DAMN 12 St...

michellelong · michellelong

After coming home from dropping my AH off at jail for the next two nights, one of 19 more from his last DUI, my telephone rang, it was one of his friends that has been sober for 6 years. This is someone who I thought I could count on to help me talk some sense into my AH but has turned out to be nothing more than an...

MariaM · MariaM

My life is out of control, a friend I respect said I should try al-anon... I went to a local meeting on a day I got sent home from work, it was okay I guess. Most of the people were WAY older than me and I felt a little singled out. There are not any local meetings in my area that are outside of my work hours.There...

Pushka · Pushka

I noticed that there seems to be a theme on anger recently, .. lol .. not that I haven't had my share of that emotion recently. It keeps creeping in on me and I have to remember what is mine, his and ours together .. lol. Last week I heard a great quote, I swear I thought I had read it here on the boards I know i...

oldergal · oldergal

When I starting reading Alanon literature I couldn't really get a grasp on what enabling was and separating it from compassion. I was helped by many and now I can boil it down to one sentence. "Do not do for others what they can and should do for themselves" This helped me and then it wasn't so c...

michellelong · michellelong

I'm sorry to keep venting but I am hoping this is what the board is for. I am not having a good day like I hoped for and I don't understand why! As I have said in a previous post, my AH is in jail serving the third of 22 weekends from a DUI back in January. He comes home at 6PM tomorrow. He calls me but sounds distan...

Mylife · Mylife

I am new to this forum. I have an alcoholic mother, she got sober about 11 years ago as the result of being admitted to the hospital after a bad fall and being diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. It took her about a month to fully detox and then another month in physical therapy to learn how to walk again....

tweety23 · tweety23

Hi all, I haven't posted in a while.. I am feeling a little down the last few days and need to vent. I feel like my life is over. Don't mean that as dramatically as it sounds, ie I am dying, but just the fun and adventure and good times for me are done. Right now my entire goal and focus is on my kids, that they...

HAguirre · HAguirre

Is it normal to feel like nothing is happening nothing is moving forward. i have the book for alanon i admit my life is unmanigable i admit i am powerless i have gave it to god even though it still hurts I dont understand how or where i am supose to do now. How come i'm not feeling better what do i do with the bo...

michellelong · michellelong

I'm brand new to the group, been looking for something like this for a long time. I have been married to an alcoholic/drug abuser for 6 years. The longest he has gone without anything is 11 months. I have had 2-5 month periods of happiness as well but it never lasts. I am to the point where I never know if he i...

maresie · maresie

An alcoholic who lived next to me has finally been evicted. He had a small dog who I was feeding by the time he left. If I had his phone number I'd probably still be feeding him. I detached a great deal from him over the year he lived next to me. Nevertheless his chaos, constant crises and complete and tota...

luv123 · luv123

Tradition 7 self supporting-declining outside contributions I remember reading a nice forum article from way back in the 80's. It dilineated ways we could apply tradtions to our home and family life. This tradition was especially helpful to me while I was learning to apply the Al-anon principl...

ditto · ditto

http://www.statesman.com/opinion/insight/texas-expert-addiction-science-has-taken-giant-steps-1642154.html

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi gang.... just wanted to re-post this today, about the importance of "balance" in our lives.... even with respect to recovery stuff vs. other stuff - whether it is dealing with our A's specifically, or life in general.... For me, I had a tendency to try and find "too much recover...

lacewing · lacewing

I remember when I first came to recognize that Alcohol was possibly, at least part of the problem in my marriage. I was so desperate to learn what was wrong with my family, wrong with me and wrong in general. I wanted to fix it, understand it and get as far away from what was happening as I could. I had trie...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Would you who have a child who is A please share about this? Of course I appreciate everyones shares too. My friend is struggling. Xeno you are so right, and you reminded me of things thank you My friend from High school I have always called my brother came over very upset. His darn son who is around 23, got...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am so glad to be in the same boat w/ you all! The reason: we are not all drowning! We can all be grateful that we have the support we need right here! I have so much hope today that I never thought possible. I mention this quite often lately because I have finally found it & hope you will all too! After so m...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Really pleased to announce that we have a new Board Moderator, effective immediately..... RLC (Rodney) has agreed to become a Moderator, and I am thrilled to have the help. He has been a valuable member of our family for a long time on MIP, and will be a valuable addition to our group. When I look at t...

MAR2011 · MAR2011

A couple months ago my A went into a clinic for detox, they told him he would have died if he continued to try to do it on his own. Up until Thursday night, he was sober 8 weeks. Those 8 weeks were fantastic, stress free, happy times. He's the best man I've ever met when he's sober. Because of a DUI in December,...

HAguirre · HAguirre

I am new to this whole life style. My husband has just started an IOP program and he is sober now for over 30 days. I am proud of him but i feel like i am left in the dust. I am still trying to see where i belong and what i do to fix me. I have been reading alot about codependency and slowly realizing that is me, beca...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am getting old even though most people think 45 is young! Yeah, tomorrow is my birthday. I am looking forward to celebrating like I always do! Today was the start of my partying! I hope I don't get a hangover--not from drinking but from all the excitement! I just got back from lunch w/a dear friend; bles...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Just received a call from ABF. Mind you, I AM at work.... the only one of the two of us that is currently employed.... He got in touch with his lawyer.... the Solicitor wants to throw the book at him really hard... so here comes the blame game again... 24 week Drug/Alcohol program... 18 week family vi...

surfingmaestro · surfingmaestro

Hi Everyone, Lately throughout my day I have noticed that my mind starts going to deep dark places. I start to worry about things related to my AW in recovery, family, future, past, etc. Essentially all of these worries have already been handed over to my HP through working the steps (currently on s...

oldergal · oldergal

Written by Andy Rooney, a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words. learn..... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. .... That when you're in love, it shows. .... That just one person saying , 'You've made my day!'will make your day. Learn.......

meagain · meagain

Recently I started to a alonon meeting again-and YES i have a sponsor, which I am very happy about. My youngest son (36) got a DUI about 2 months ago-and I know I sure needed help again. I grew up with a "A" brother-now he is addicted to Oxcy...:(anyhooow I have 3 adult sons 36,37 and 38 and I di...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I know that many of you are used to living with someone who is mired in their own problems, addictions, or selfishness so that's why I'm posting. Lately, I have been very down in regards to my marriage. My dh is looking for a new job and he's completely obsessed with his problems at work. The issue is th...

clep · clep

Today I realized it is my day off. I have someone else covering for me and it was planned a while ago. I forgot about it. I sit here today thinking, what should I do? I didn't have a clue. I was fighting to figure something out and couldn't think of anything. I realized today that I nurture myself in the w...

ifa · ifa

I know there is no point even thinking about this, since it is over and done, and doesn't even matter to begin with. However, any time I am rejected I always wonder if it could have been my fault, or if they rejected me because I am worthless, etc. I was friends with Luna for over 10 years. We met in a 12 step gr...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hi All, In some of my posts, I mention that I had gone through many years of counseling and that I still had a lot of emotional baggage regarding my marriage. My baggage has been significantly reduced since attending meetings for the past 5 months. I attribute this "weight" loss to the mem...

KLotus · KLotus

I am grateful for this message board. I don't feel I have many trusted places to turn at the moment (whether real or perceived). I'm glad that I feel grateful for anything right now. My AH was distant and seemingly angry yesterday. I respected that he didn't want to talk about it, but struggled with h...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I may or may not be able to post this in full so I will post just a couple excerpts, but its something I feel that I am being led to share: From ODAAT in alanon July 20 pp202 "Everytime I catch myself trying to figure out other people's motives, I'll stop and ask myself: "What did I say or do that pr...

parfait624 · parfait624

I haven't been on here for a while. I have been out trying to live my life and not think about my ABF. The last time I spoke to him was the end of May, he said that I was stalking him and that I was crazy. Then two seconds later he said when I get too close he has to run for a while and he feels like he is losing God....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My A got a new job. (Preview) I am excited for my A who has a new job as of today. He was working seasonal work for a very nice man who happens to be scatterbrained and just can't get it together enough to work consistently. We used to need the flexibility the job supplied but we don't anymore. I did let him know in the past week or two th...	clep	3	385	Jul 27, 2011 by youfoundme
	First Post (Preview) I am feeling very alone and emotionally/physically exhausted. I have been married to my AH for less than a year. Before we married, I knew that he ocassionally took it a little too far when drinking with his friends, but it did not seem to be serious, just annoying. A little over a year ago we moved from th...	kay115	13	469	Jul 27, 2011 by kay115
	Positive or Negative? (Preview) Your reaction to a situation determines whether it will be positive or negative. If youre determined to label a situation positive, no matter how it appears, the result MUST be positive. If you label something negative, that MUST be your experience. Its never too late to change a situation because y...	Christy	5	953	Jul 27, 2011 by youfoundme
	Anyone do an Al-Anon 90-90? (Preview) New AA members are sometimes advised to do 90 meetings in their first 90 days. I know this doesn't happen as much in Al-Anon because in a lot of areas there aren't enough Al-Anon meetings for that to be possible. I am fortunate to live near a few major cities -- I've made a list of meetings, and it would be po...	atheos	8	1056	Jul 27, 2011 by clep
	Guess who got a sponsor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Preview) Me! Yes, me :) I got a real life good old fashioned sponsor! :) So onward and upward, one day at a time ... I feel so good now! She said yes and we are going to keep on doing what we are doing :) Thanks all!	youfoundme	6	382	Jul 27, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Karma AND working my program (Preview) I mentioned a couple weeks back we had some major drama (of her own doing) with this crazy neighbor teen, in regards to the kittens that were around. At first I felt bad about the situation now I really don't. We didn't do anything wrong, the poor mama kitty was never fed so she started coming here for fo...	Pushka	1	369	Jul 27, 2011 by youfoundme
	Tough night..... (Preview) I'm so completely angry with myself. Angry that I'm so addicted to my addict. I've been doing pretty well. Stepping back, looking at an entire situation, an entire conversation...constantly looking to see if it's in MY best interest. I've been stronger than I've ever been before. Until tonig...	ELEKTRAWMN	7	843	Jul 27, 2011 by youfoundme
	My AH is Deep in his Disease (Preview) My AH's best friend and his wife came over tonight to visit. He told me that since I left my AH 4 months ago, his drinking has gotten much worse and that he had to tell my AH that he can no longer be around him while he continues to binge with his drinking. It was almost like hearing his friend tell me that the ca...	Green Eyes	6	326	Jul 27, 2011 by Green Eyes
	One of my Alanon sister broke my anonimity (Preview) Hello family: I was at my home meeting last week and led the meeting. One member shared that she was thinking about me and what I shared the week before. And, she mentioned that she was discussing it with a friend and had a good laugh about it. Further, she even described me to her friend, how I look and all....	hawaiilover	8	795	Jul 27, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Having a tough day (Preview) I know I am not supposed to let my AH's disease control me and maybe it is because I only saught help a few days ago and I am new to this chapter of my life but I can't help the overwhelming feelings I am having. My AH just told me that he was going to go visit his dad, who has not been in the best of health lately and...	michellelong	6	384	Jul 26, 2011 by MeTwo2
	what happened w/ my cat? (Preview) I am very concerned about my cat. I know she is around now but she eats very little & hides under a tarp. I feel so worried for my husband too. He is beside himself trying to keep her alive & well! I know that she must be traumatized or something because she loves my husband & has always responde...	Hoot Nanny	5	498	Jul 26, 2011 by Debilyn
	Is there value in digging up the past? (Preview) I feel insecure and shy most of the time. Recently, I have been remembering incidents from my childhood (mostly things my dad said or did) that really, really hurt, and probably played a large role in me growing up to be this shy and insecure. Those memories hurt, and thinking about them is making me fee...	atheos	9	623	Jul 26, 2011 by Doozy
	Responding to All the Replies Recently Posted counseling vs al-anon (Preview) A few days ago, I had submitted a new post (Private Counseling vs Al-Anon). Since the initial post is further down on page 1 and will soon go to page 2, I decided to create a new post to thank all the participants. Each post helped me to gain more clarity on this topic. And I think many people helped each o...	GailMichelle	10	637	Jul 26, 2011 by flopadopilus
	My husband has hit rock bottom, I think (Preview) I think dh is dealing with serious depression now. He hasn't had a drink in quite some time as he says he doesn't even want it. Nothing stirs him, nothing inspires him, he feels nothing. Here's what I typed up to a friend via email this AM:I hadn't been bugging dh about his therapy sessions nor had I bee...	ilovedogs	6	2659	Jul 26, 2011 by pinkchip
	Loving relationship with an alcoholic (Preview) My boyfriend and I have been through many rough patches because of his alcoholism for 2 1/2 years... About 10 months ago I started attending Al-Anon and I've really been able to see how I've contributed to many of our arguments. About 5 months ago, I made the conscious decision to stop fighting back (i...	lostbird3	8	466	Jul 26, 2011 by lostbird3
	Relationship surviving when a alcoholic recovers (Preview) Hello, Not been here for a couple of months. For those who don't know, my fiancé of 5 years passed away in April from alcoholism. I recently read about a couple where the husband was an A and recovered but then his marriage didn't survive. This was because he changed when he gave himself to the higher bein...	Della	13	1712	Jul 26, 2011 by kay115
	Alcoholism Does Not Discriminate (Preview) I spent some time with my mom today- she's 73 years young : ) She had this to say to me today: "I can't believe "your AH" has a drinking problem. He's a very bright and well educated man. He should know better." As if he had a choice! I felt the need to educate her a bit. I explained to he...	Green Eyes	6	516	Jul 26, 2011 by canadianguy
	conflict versus nothingness (Preview) I find now that my AH isn't drinking and is going to counseling, and we are actually getting along better, I am actually bored. Bored with our marriage, bored with myself and my future and filling like I'm not getting my needs met. For a short period, he doted on me immensely. It made me think we had a cha...	oldgraduate	7	556	Jul 26, 2011 by oldgraduate
	Something good, something sad...my realization (Preview) Hey everyone. I just wanted to share with someone! I heard the words over and over again...we are powerless and our lives have become unmanageable. And I really tried to listen to them and thought I understood them. Well, I didn't realize just how manageable my life had actually become.....emotiona...	odalis	12	474	Jul 26, 2011 by xeno59
	Hi! Just a little update... (Preview) First I want to thank you all for your responses and messages of encouragement. I believe I've truely found the place to be. I have YET to make it to a f2f meeting. Schedule is not exactly working out the way I had hoped. I have been doing lots of reading and have a couple of more books ordered and on the w...	ELEKTRAWMN	6	572	Jul 26, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	Pray for my cat (Preview) Its not really alanon related, but the more people praying, maybe he will make it home. He is a Maine Coon and he is 3 years old. he is an indoor cat and he has asthma so the terrible weather we are having here with the heat and humidity is making me scared for him. He escaped out the window last night, the...	youfoundme	19	703	Jul 26, 2011 by TheJeanGenie
	Maybe it's a sign..... (Preview) I hope it's okay that I post a bit of a story for y'all. Not sure if it's appropriate on this board, so if it's not I hope someone will speak up. So I'm not a very religious person. Never have been. I completely respect other people's faiths. I respect their HP, whether it be God, Jehovah, Buddah... heck...	ELEKTRAWMN	14	749	Jul 26, 2011 by Jozie
	Counseling vs AA? (Preview) Hi There, Newbie here... I have a question regarding private counseling for the alcoholic vs AA? My A does not believe in a HP at this point (although he was raised Lutheran). So he has often said that AA makes him feel uncomfortable. Last week I did see him reading the AA book, though. And Friday he mad...	NovSun	10	1381	Jul 26, 2011 by NovSun
	Dont know what to do now with marriage (Preview) I was just told by my husband that he didnt want me to help him with his recovery he wants to do it all by himself. Also that he doesnt care about how i am feeling or what is going on around him with our family all he wants is to be left alone. He said that when i talk about my feelings that he doesnt care and that is...	HAguirre	9	518	Jul 25, 2011 by maryjane
	The Bull I put up with... I must still be insane (Preview) Why do I feel so enraged every time my daughter hangs up on me? I don`t feel a bit of serenity... I feel enraged.. I can`t have a civil conversation with her if its something she doesn`t want to hear, she hangs up on me! I`am so ripping angry.. I put up with this crap all to have grandaughter around and she is t...	Samsgram	3	860	Jul 25, 2011 by Samsgram
	What's your favorite slogan & why? (Preview) Slogans:One of my faves is One Day at a Time-I too often am inclined to get way ahead of myself & project past experiences onto possible future outcomes. I believe it is a way of self protection that worked in the past, but is no longer serving me. When I go to a meeting and hear or pick up the literature...	luv123	8	776	Jul 25, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	I cant and wont live this way does it make me a bad person (Preview) I have relized that my husband needs to do this alone. And i am willing to stand by his side though his iop program he has 2 more weeks left, but when that is over and he is done i am thinking of making him choose. Either he goes down the new path with me and his kids and there is marriage counceling or he can choo...	HAguirre	6	472	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	am i normal (Preview) ive met a guy 2 weeks ago didnt know him from adam,we went out and then he called me everyday 2x a day and then we went out or spent the day together the next weekend,now im falling for him,i think im crazy,i didnt expect that to happpen so quick scares me i dont think his feelings for me r the same he says he do...	chinup	4	500	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	what do I say (Preview) I have had an alki step father. I am a recovering alki myself. Whats got me twisted up is a loved ones other addiction though. When he talks about his plans and schemes how he is going to control this addiction. What do I say back? Oh thats great? I dont want to say that is great. I want to yell GO TO A DAMN 12 St...	Slugcat	5	587	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	Tired of Enabler's (Preview) After coming home from dropping my AH off at jail for the next two nights, one of 19 more from his last DUI, my telephone rang, it was one of his friends that has been sober for 6 years. This is someone who I thought I could count on to help me talk some sense into my AH but has turned out to be nothing more than an...	michellelong	6	502	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	Hello (Preview) My life is out of control, a friend I respect said I should try al-anon... I went to a local meeting on a day I got sent home from work, it was okay I guess. Most of the people were WAY older than me and I felt a little singled out. There are not any local meetings in my area that are outside of my work hours.There...	MariaM	13	599	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	A share (Preview) I noticed that there seems to be a theme on anger recently, .. lol .. not that I haven't had my share of that emotion recently. It keeps creeping in on me and I have to remember what is mine, his and ours together .. lol. Last week I heard a great quote, I swear I thought I had read it here on the boards I know i...	Pushka	2	324	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	Thoughts on Enabling and Anger (Preview) When I starting reading Alanon literature I couldn't really get a grasp on what enabling was and separating it from compassion. I was helped by many and now I can boil it down to one sentence. "Do not do for others what they can and should do for themselves" This helped me and then it wasn't so c...	oldergal	3	762	Jul 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	Feeling the need to share again...and again... (Preview) I'm sorry to keep venting but I am hoping this is what the board is for. I am not having a good day like I hoped for and I don't understand why! As I have said in a previous post, my AH is in jail serving the third of 22 weekends from a DUI back in January. He comes home at 6PM tomorrow. He calls me but sounds distan...	michellelong	3	359	Jul 25, 2011 by michellelong
	I don't know what to do. (Preview) I am new to this forum. I have an alcoholic mother, she got sober about 11 years ago as the result of being admitted to the hospital after a bad fall and being diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. It took her about a month to fully detox and then another month in physical therapy to learn how to walk again....	Mylife	5	488	Jul 25, 2011 by Pushka
	Just random thoughts (Preview) Hi all, I haven't posted in a while.. I am feeling a little down the last few days and need to vent. I feel like my life is over. Don't mean that as dramatically as it sounds, ie I am dying, but just the fun and adventure and good times for me are done. Right now my entire goal and focus is on my kids, that they...	tweety23	3	356	Jul 25, 2011 by Pushka
	Standing still Still drowning (Preview) Is it normal to feel like nothing is happening nothing is moving forward. i have the book for alanon i admit my life is unmanigable i admit i am powerless i have gave it to god even though it still hurts I dont understand how or where i am supose to do now. How come i'm not feeling better what do i do with the bo...	HAguirre	2	447	Jul 24, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Depressed in NC (Preview) I'm brand new to the group, been looking for something like this for a long time. I have been married to an alcoholic/drug abuser for 6 years. The longest he has gone without anything is 11 months. I have had 2-5 month periods of happiness as well but it never lasts. I am to the point where I never know if he i...	michellelong	10	501	Jul 24, 2011 by tweety23
	Letting go (Preview) An alcoholic who lived next to me has finally been evicted. He had a small dog who I was feeding by the time he left. If I had his phone number I'd probably still be feeding him. I detached a great deal from him over the year he lived next to me. Nevertheless his chaos, constant crises and complete and tota...	maresie	6	482	Jul 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Tradition 7 in dealing with my kids (Preview) Tradition 7 self supporting-declining outside contributions I remember reading a nice forum article from way back in the 80's. It dilineated ways we could apply tradtions to our home and family life. This tradition was especially helpful to me while I was learning to apply the Al-anon principl...	luv123	3	980	Jul 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	The Science of Addiction (Preview) http://www.statesman.com/opinion/insight/texas-expert-addiction-science-has-taken-giant-steps-1642154.html	ditto	5	551	Jul 24, 2011 by ifa
	Balancing Act (Preview) Hi gang.... just wanted to re-post this today, about the importance of "balance" in our lives.... even with respect to recovery stuff vs. other stuff - whether it is dealing with our A's specifically, or life in general.... For me, I had a tendency to try and find "too much recover...	canadianguy	11	786	Jul 24, 2011 by GailMichelle
	The Blue Balloon (Preview) I remember when I first came to recognize that Alcohol was possibly, at least part of the problem in my marriage. I was so desperate to learn what was wrong with my family, wrong with me and wrong in general. I wanted to fix it, understand it and get as far away from what was happening as I could. I had trie...	lacewing	7	707	Jul 23, 2011 by GailMichelle
	When your child is your A (Preview) Would you who have a child who is A please share about this? Of course I appreciate everyones shares too. My friend is struggling. Xeno you are so right, and you reminded me of things thank you My friend from High school I have always called my brother came over very upset. His darn son who is around 23, got...	Debilyn	9	1463	Jul 23, 2011 by Debilyn
	in the same boat! (Preview) I am so glad to be in the same boat w/ you all! The reason: we are not all drowning! We can all be grateful that we have the support we need right here! I have so much hope today that I never thought possible. I mention this quite often lately because I have finally found it & hope you will all too! After so m...	Hoot Nanny	3	412	Jul 23, 2011 by luv123
	New Board Moderator (Preview) Really pleased to announce that we have a new Board Moderator, effective immediately..... RLC (Rodney) has agreed to become a Moderator, and I am thrilled to have the help. He has been a valuable member of our family for a long time on MIP, and will be a valuable addition to our group. When I look at t...	canadianguy	13	689	Jul 23, 2011 by lacewing
	Hurt, confused and scared...(long) (Preview) A couple months ago my A went into a clinic for detox, they told him he would have died if he continued to try to do it on his own. Up until Thursday night, he was sober 8 weeks. Those 8 weeks were fantastic, stress free, happy times. He's the best man I've ever met when he's sober. Because of a DUI in December,...	MAR2011	5	468	Jul 23, 2011 by xeno59
	New and dont know what to do? (Preview) I am new to this whole life style. My husband has just started an IOP program and he is sober now for over 30 days. I am proud of him but i feel like i am left in the dust. I am still trying to see where i belong and what i do to fix me. I have been reading alot about codependency and slowly realizing that is me, beca...	HAguirre	6	496	Jul 23, 2011 by hotrod
	getting old! (Preview) I am getting old even though most people think 45 is young! Yeah, tomorrow is my birthday. I am looking forward to celebrating like I always do! Today was the start of my partying! I hope I don't get a hangover--not from drinking but from all the excitement! I just got back from lunch w/a dear friend; bles...	Hoot Nanny	6	495	Jul 23, 2011 by youfoundme
	So mad I could spit nails! (vent) (Preview) Just received a call from ABF. Mind you, I AM at work.... the only one of the two of us that is currently employed.... He got in touch with his lawyer.... the Solicitor wants to throw the book at him really hard... so here comes the blame game again... 24 week Drug/Alcohol program... 18 week family vi...	ELEKTRAWMN	11	599	Jul 23, 2011 by hotrod
	Turning it Over to HP - advice needed (Preview) Hi Everyone, Lately throughout my day I have noticed that my mind starts going to deep dark places. I start to worry about things related to my AW in recovery, family, future, past, etc. Essentially all of these worries have already been handed over to my HP through working the steps (currently on s...	surfingmaestro	7	396	Jul 23, 2011 by hotrod
	Great Thoughts for the Day (Preview) Written by *Andy Rooney*, a man who has the gift of saying so much with so few words. learn..... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. .... That when you're in love, it shows. .... That just one person saying , 'You've made my day!'will make your day. Learn.......	oldergal	8	3748	Jul 23, 2011 by hotrod
	Been away for awhile :(( (Preview) Recently I started to a alonon meeting again-and YES i have a sponsor, which I am very happy about. My youngest son (36) got a DUI about 2 months ago-and I know I sure needed help again. I grew up with a "A" brother-now he is addicted to Oxcy...:(anyhooow I have 3 adult sons 36,37 and 38 and I di...	meagain	2	366	Jul 23, 2011 by Pushka
	I need to vent, a bit OT (Preview) I know that many of you are used to living with someone who is mired in their own problems, addictions, or selfishness so that's why I'm posting. Lately, I have been very down in regards to my marriage. My dh is looking for a new job and he's completely obsessed with his problems at work. The issue is th...	ilovedogs	12	471	Jul 23, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	I don't have enough time by myself. (Preview) Today I realized it is my day off. I have someone else covering for me and it was planned a while ago. I forgot about it. I sit here today thinking, what should I do? I didn't have a clue. I was fighting to figure something out and couldn't think of anything. I realized today that I nurture myself in the w...	clep	5	451	Jul 22, 2011 by ifa
	ex friend (Preview) I know there is no point even thinking about this, since it is over and done, and doesn't even matter to begin with. However, any time I am rejected I always wonder if it could have been my fault, or if they rejected me because I am worthless, etc. I was friends with Luna for over 10 years. We met in a 12 step gr...	ifa	8	591	Jul 22, 2011 by ifa
	Private Counseling vs Al-Anon (Preview) Hi All, In some of my posts, I mention that I had gone through many years of counseling and that I still had a lot of emotional baggage regarding my marriage. My baggage has been significantly reduced since attending meetings for the past 5 months. I attribute this "weight" loss to the mem...	GailMichelle	26	3004	Jul 22, 2011 by Jennifer
	Down (Preview) I am grateful for this message board. I don't feel I have many trusted places to turn at the moment (whether real or perceived). I'm glad that I feel grateful for anything right now. My AH was distant and seemingly angry yesterday. I respected that he didn't want to talk about it, but struggled with h...	KLotus	8	676	Jul 22, 2011 by KLotus
	Today's reminder: ODAAT 7/20 and December 7 (Preview) I may or may not be able to post this in full so I will post just a couple excerpts, but its something I feel that I am being led to share: From ODAAT in alanon July 20 pp202 "Everytime I catch myself trying to figure out other people's motives, I'll stop and ask myself: "What did I say or do that pr...	youfoundme	3	461	Jul 22, 2011 by maryjane
	Not Again! (Preview) I haven't been on here for a while. I have been out trying to live my life and not think about my ABF. The last time I spoke to him was the end of May, he said that I was stalking him and that I was crazy. Then two seconds later he said when I get too close he has to run for a while and he feels like he is losing God....	parfait624	10	528	Jul 22, 2011 by ifa
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.