The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I may or may not be able to post this in full so I will post just a couple excerpts, but its something I feel that I am being led to share:
From ODAAT in alanon July 20 pp202
"Everytime I catch myself trying to figure out other people's motives, I'll stop and ask myself: "What did I say or do that prompted the action? Why did I react to it as I did? Does what happened make a major difference to me, or am I making something bit out of a trifle?"
"Leave off that excessive desire of knowing; therein is found much distraction. There are many things the knowledge of which is of little or not profit to the soul."
.... My soul, my life, my spirituality do not get anything out of judging others, taking their inventory, or knowing why THEY did that. I am learning here to QTIP=quit taking it personally. I am learning that I need to mind my own business. To remain calm and not react. I do need to leave of my obsession, my "EXSESSIVE DESIRE OF KNOWING" because it distracts from my own healing and it does not give my soul anything at all. When I look at December 7 page 342 in ODAAT I see a page about PEACE.
"I will not let my inner peace be disturbed by the confusions around me. I will be gentle and tolerant, while maintaining my right to my individuality. I will listen and appreciate and not judge the source of what I hear."
and the part from Dsiderata by Max Ehrmann that says:
"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they, too, have their story."
I love this. And it is similar to my philosophy of religion. When I can be at peace in my self and keep it with me, take a deep breath, take time to respond. Distance myself from chaos and feel the things in my life that I need to feel... I feel better. Thank you :) I am glad to be here. I am sorry if I am not supposed to post all these excerpts, but I felt I needed to share it :)
__________________
-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
Thanks, it's always helpful to hear wisdom from ODAT. I have been reading Hope For Today, but I should read them both.
There are several people currently who have done things I do not like. One of them cut me out of her life in a bizarre way, over what seemed trivial -- well good riddance to her. But I still wonder if I could have done anything wrong? But I should probably stop wondering -- it is really her problem, her decision.
Another person, who happens to be a relative, tho not a close one, said things 6 months ago that have made me hate her. And I have almost never hated anyone before.
And there is a big family wedding in two weeks where I will not be able to avoid her. Sickening to think about, but this post is helpful. I will have to pray A LOT.
So there are really only 2 people at this time who are distracting me. One will never speak to me again -- not that I care -- but I can't help wonder why. The other insulted me gigantically.
Six months ago there was some chaos involving the wedding plans. We all had to figure out how to get there and where to stay. It's about a 7 hour drive from where I am. I was assigned the task of bring my mother. I asked, carefully, if I would get any help.
My mother is physically and mentally disabled, and elderly. My family generally assumes she is all my problem. Anyway, all heck broke loose when I asked if I could get some help.
It turns out they are helping me. Brother is flying here and will drive me and Mom to the wedding, so I won't be driving and caregiving all alone.
But nasty things were said about me all around. That I am irresponsible. That makes me want to scream, because I have been more responsible than anyone. My sister, who is having this wedding for her daughter, has been no help with Mom.
Anyway, thank you for posting this, and I will try to keep it in mind all through this ordeal. No matter how crazy or nasty any of my family members might decide to be, I will be sane and spiritual and peaceful. With the help of my HP.
