Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

This always happens. I start to feel good and then my moods, energies and mind all backfire on me. Its like my body sould won't allow me to feel good about things for too long. I am sitting here thinking I am bipolar!!!! I just want to crawl under the blankets and disregard the world and everyone in it. Y...

catiegirl · catiegirl

I am writing with so much heartbreak and emotion. The man who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with has changed so much that I had to leave. He drinks constantly. In the morning, before work, on his breaks, after work. He has been in two car accidents. One where he got a dui and almost killed himsel...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I was sick yesterday, had a stomach thing going on, and so I called out of work. I am wondering why I always feel so guilty when I call out (Haven't called out since February) and my sponsor helped me with that yesterday. She said to pray, stop and meditate...stop the chaos from running around in my head...

lookingup · lookingup

im really am going through the greiveing process i know,this is like a nightmare,lol never would have thought it cause he is not even close to the one i would even marry,but here i am just trying to muddle through allthe pains the best way i can with out faling off the edge ,and just by thinking i might have...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

today i was driving along .. this pain is really something .. be it self inflicted or the fact i truly miss my addict and genuinely love this man .. ok mixed in with the fact i want to fix save him and at this point in time near pity him .. but was beginning to feel such intense pain i wondered if it were anything...

glad · glad

It makes no real "sense" to want him back. He is not good for me and there would only be pain and confusion. No matter the reasons - No matter what I think I want. It's like wanting something that is bad for me. It makes no real sense for him to drink, long term there is only pain and confusion, no m...

luvsapd · luvsapd

I am new to alanon and this board. I am also one-week separated. My dilemma is that my newly exed A and I are attended a conference in a couple of weeks. Actually, it's for my work, he happens to be a speaker. I've made arrangements to not have to sit with him on the flight and advised him that he needs to make h...

lookingup · lookingup

well ive really enjoyed reading al the posts on separating from the a,i separated 6 mths ago broke it off completely,changed my ph.# and even blocked him off my internet, found me a real good b/f soi thought ive been dumped cant count how many times ,lol then i get a disturbing phone call from my freind sa...

lookingup · lookingup

yes it hurts and thats just part of it and i may be being played i dunno,and i could be just setting myself up for another big disappointment like always im good at that setting my self up he may and he may not ever call me agin,i know how they r when they find them a new cody to use ,they push the old away in a min....

youfoundme · youfoundme

Tonight my qualifier drank, not a lot but enough to give him that little attitude and so I kind of got one too for a bit. I started to want to get into it with him, but I remembered some of my tools and I decided to do some laundry and go up stairs with the lap top to work on some photography stuff. I prayed for s...

Jennifer · Jennifer

The last two months have been truly awful. Weekly if not biweekly occurences of major medical treatments or surgeries for myself or immediate family members, the weaning process from my treatment, losing Sully, the death of a close friend, business is struggling, school is in full swing. I was p...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

Hey group - quick request. Does anyone have the book "12 Steps and 12 Traditions on Al Anon" and access to a scanner or fax machine? I'm chairing a step meeting this evening and the format of the meeting is that we read from that book on the step we're studying (tonight is step 9) and I've trie...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I'm curious to hear how others feel about installing a car ingnition lock on a vehicle to prevent someone from driving while drunk. I know they are sometimes required if someone gets a DWI, but I don't know if it can be done voluntarily? My wife is demonstrating that she is not in control and nearly drove...

Pushka · Pushka

It's been a LONG week and it's only Wednesday .. lol. I've really been struggling this week with a lot of emotional garbage that needs to be processed just to get to the other side. My insecurities are rearing up in a bad way. I'm sure some of it is a HHALT. Hormonal, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired total...

kris10 · kris10

I love you like.. Did you hear me? I love you like... You won't come near me? I love you like it's a question. Like... If I say it enough will you give me affection?? A sign, a glimmer of hope? I love you like the memory. The memory of what it was like, what it should be. But see, that's just me. Imagining... All...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I think I can feel some changes in me. This is a good thing. I am usually so controlling it isn't funny. In the past, I have found out that my husband finished work early and didn't tell me, Igot home and he was already there.... I was angry, I was upset that I didn't know what was happening, Why would yo...

ToBeHappy · ToBeHappy

In short, my husband has been in and out of rehab for the past four years and has not worked. I have supported him 100% from his sobriety attempts to handling all of the financial responsibility. We had a baby at the beginning of the year and he went into Full blown drinking every day all day mode then picke...

Camille Le Montre · Camille Le Montre

My partner (my 6-year-old son's father) is an alcoholic with a history of near death experiences. He can go from 1-3 years sober. But when he falls off the wagon, it is always under very traumatic circumstances. After a year and a half of sobriety, I finally allowed him to move back in with us. I then tru...

Patk · Patk

Hi Everyone, I teach part-time at a high school. Last spring when I was about to hop on my bike and ride home after classes a coworker confronted me at the bike rack and began to accuse me of ignoring him, treating him badly, not respecting him. He was shaking and had that "look" in his eyes that...

John · John

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PauliePaulie · PauliePaulie

Hi again =0) So, he's in rehab, been there 6 days, and has been GREAT as of yesterday afternoon. I'm wondering what kind of 'typical' stuff to expect after he gets home in a month or so? Any advice, heads ups, etc would be greatly appreciated...again. Thank you all for being here for all of us. HUGS!!

John · John

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youfoundme · youfoundme

Some of you may remember I have a business in photography. I started this business on my own, met a person I connected with, because our son's were friends, saw she did photography, had a good eye and so I asked if she wanted to do it with me. It was all very innocent. I thought we would work great togethe...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

I asked my Ah to move out of the house tonight. Last week I ran into him with two women in his car. They were drinking, smoking, and having a good time. I, for months, suspected he was having affairs based on his behavior at home. My gut feeling told me we were alone in our relationship. Yet, I left it alone an...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

I am grateful. For both of my sons. One nearing his 1st anniversary of clean and sober. One in meetings. I'm thankful for my husband. Our little dog. A home I have the honor of cleaning each day, reminds me how grateful I am. The dinner we through last night with both sons, dauther in law, grandchil...

elizabethcontreras · elizabethcontreras

So my boyfriend is finally back from a 40 day stay in rehab. I am proud of him and things are slowly settling. We both feel a little blah and are a bit overwhelmed. I am trying to keep my sense of peace that I gained while he was away and not worry about him or fuss over him. I am trying to give him his space and sto...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, Its been quite some time since I have read or posted here, and its bittersweet to see some old faces as well as some new ones. I have finally ended my 9 1/2yr relationship with my abf. Things went from bad to worse, and very quickly after he went to work beyond commuting distance last summer. ...

PauliePaulie · PauliePaulie

Hi, My SO is in rehab, day 4 of detox, and has just called to inform me that I am now his Higher Power. Talk about stress!! Can a person actually be a successful HP?? Doesn't that make ME in control of his sobriety?? How can I be his HP??? What I am hoping for is that he gets enough time, education, and guidance...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am not sure I shared but one night a week or so ago I heard the door handle being tried. My dogs went nuts in a way that I was sure there was someone out there. Since I am up here alone, thinking about what would you do if...comes up a lot in my mind. I have a 9 mil next to my bed, a flashlight and sell and always sl...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Briefly, quickly, I will update you on my condition. I am doing very well. I still have a lot of gratitude. I also want to give everyone a quote to pass around to all your friends: Friends: A friend knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. Another quote: Be...

alexmaui · alexmaui

Lately, i've been thinking that my AH is mentally ill. I'm been doing some research and it looks like he may be both. He barely seems functional- living in squalor in what was once our home. He took Ambien and Vodka and wound up in a hospital with hallucinations...not so bad that he didn't forget my work n...

Frustrated3982 · Frustrated3982

Hello, I am new to this forum and new to Al-Anon in general. However, I am not new to being with an alcoholic. My gf of three years has been sober for a little over a year, up until yesterday when she relapsed. We were on vacation and staying at a friends condo when on the last day of our stay, my gf found an open...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I am so frustrated and disappointed in my AH and am having a hard time shifting my focus. He let me down by once again with-holding information and basically lying to me about finances. It is not a big thing, that will break us, but it is the principle in that I told him I either wanted us to be partners in o...

Katy · Katy

Really listening, and hearing, wow, our son has a girlfriend, whoooooooowhoooooooooooo, she's lovely, works as a vet, drives a car, is sensible and decent and kind, and just what he needed, to show him he is was worth it, I have stopped nagging (almost) and I have just had the best conversation with hi...

Tracy · Tracy

I am a person Why do I have so much trouble looking after me, focusing on me. My sickness is very baffling too it makes it hard for me to mind my own business and to focus on what I have to do. It takes me off in every direction interfering in peoples lives. Al anon is helping me to gain self awareness. I hav...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

I am so very grateful for Al Anon. If it wasn't for Al Anon I would be freaking out right now. My husband went back to detox on August 30 and back to rehab for the third time in less than a year on September 2. He came home on September 27. We went away for a lovely 4 day weekend from September 30 to October 3....

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I think I have too much on my plate. AH and I are planning on buying a new home as our home will need about $30K of work soon because of it's age and because of HOA guidelines about exterior paint colors, etc. We figured we'd be better off just putting the money into a newer neighborhood and newer home. I'v...

gladysg · gladysg

I'm in a funk. So far this year I've been able to keep it together and even help others who have troublesome marriages. This week it's my 10th year anniversary, and my heart is on the floor. He wanted to go out to dinner and a movie, but I don't want to be around him at all. He went to Target and brought a watch...

PauliePaulie · PauliePaulie

Day 4 of detox/rehab. Anybody know when the light at the end of the tunnel will be visable? So far he's gone through all of the emotions, along with denial, deal making, saying it's back pain causing the physical symptoms NOT withdrawal, that he's going to leave today, tomorrow, next week...etc. Than...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My ex just left with a truck load of his stuff, about 75% of it. While he was here his phone rang with "my" ringer (the archies singing sugar sugar) he tried to tell me that it was a guy friend of his - he still thinks of me as that gullible? Yeah, that one hurts. I'm sitting here trying to recover my...

nancie2248 · nancie2248

I've been involved with "B" for almost 6 years. He's been in detox and hospitalized too many times to count. Usually without a job, verbally abusive when he's drunk (daily), never keeps his promises. I'm ready to move on. Problem is we live together and as the headline says, he has nowhere t...

hotrod · hotrod

Reading Jerry's posting on the statement "It Works if you Work It"started me thinking What does "Working It " mean to me? I came up with the basic tools that I have developed over the years that have become my routine practice that will keep me sane and my program fresh Here is w...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI guys Well... after a couple of weeks of getting back on the horse.... I am in a good place today. I think one of the catalysts is that the 'real' dope that was in the friends car in our driveway, drove out yesterday. I have not asked if he kept any, I have not said anything about it. I had a straight husba...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Have been married to my AH for almost 8 years, only in the last 2 did I become aware of his addictions, and only in the last 6 months have I been in involved in Alanon. It has been transforming and lifesaving for me. Things have improved with my AH, he goes to AA meetings, although has not committed to the pro...

Pushka · Pushka

Arrgghhh .. I'm trying to work through this and I'm more mad at myself, still highly disappointed in my AH. I went to the dang hardware store looking for that loaf of bread and son of a gun they were sold out! Grrr!! When push comes to shove I've done it to myself with this situation. I expected my AH to...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I used to come to this board a lot. My AH is not an admitted A. He blames his alcoholism on the long-term prescribed use of a benzodiazipine. He also cold-turkeyed off Effexor. Some of you might remember my posts about a year ago. We had separated, but I let him return after he quit those drugs, b/c I was det...

SMT · SMT

A year ago, I never thought I'd be posting something on this forum. In fact, I didn't know that alanon existed. But that would have been just before meeting what I thought was the man of my dreams. At first it was funny. He would get drunk and do silly things and we'd tear it up on the dance floor. We fel...

Tracy · Tracy

I am really confused, I have been seeing acousellor ad she seems really good at getting me to come out of denial and face reality. She says she has worked with a cliet who was in AA so has some knowledge of alcoholism. My partner has been in aa for over two years. slipping and sliding. He was sober 6 months b...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Today, I took our Little Lucky, the kitten we adopted, to the vet's for his first series of shots. (He wasn't too happy.) But I sure was! The assistant, who has never commented on my demeanor in the past, stated that I seemed "more relaxed." That to me is a sign that it's working! Big smile ...

clep · clep

Some days are better than others. Today is not a good day for me. I haven't gotten to meetings in a couple of weeks which isn't helping. I am physically and mentally exhausted. I mean really exhausted!!! I home school our son, Pay the bills and manage all money Clean the house Parent alone Do the taxe...

lovelybertha · lovelybertha

The drinker in my life is my mother. I have only recently come across alanon and I am a bit apprehensive to attend a meeting. Although the concept sounds really helpful. My mum has always enjoyed going to pubs and socialising and her and her now husband even made a career out of running different pubs for...

scholarlydragon · scholarlydragon

Trying to deal with anger the last few days and it's been rough. Been here alone at the house all day and trying to clean in order to keep from thinking. Hasn't been working very well, and now I'm having an auto-immune flareup so I'm in a lot of pain and can't keep doing chores. Mom seems to be staying sobe...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family and I'm just delighted!! We had 4 newcomers at this mornings meeting and listening to their shares I became grateful for the time and the lessons and the practices and meetings and literature and the membership and of course my HP all of who have showed up in my life since I first got into A...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

As I sit here, I think I can think of only positive things to share w/ you. The peace of the program is coming over me a little at a time. I am just happy that I can find peace. I love that when we work the program, Peace comes to us. I guess the main topic of my share is finding peace. It is so good to know that after...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi, After joining al-anon 2yrs ago, I finally feel ready to open a new meeting in the area I live. We live ruraly out here in Australia, on the outskirts of a little place. There's a hall here that is rarely used, so I've spoke to the people about using it. They seem very happy to have the group started up...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

No matter what happens, where I go or where I end up, I will always & I mean always be grateful for where I am! I can't do anything w/o the help of my HP & that is where gratitude comes from. Yeah, maybe I have struggled in the last couple of days but I can't forget that I have so much to be grateful for. I...

luvsapd · luvsapd

Hi...I attended my first F2F meeting on Friday and am not sure if I'm going to be going again. It was a good meeting, but my A is VERY angry about it. He is very much steeped in denial about his problem drinking and today said that I should get a lawyer; that since I've taken this step, which he thinks is comp...

ineedhelpnow · ineedhelpnow

I am having a real hard time right now in my life. Gosh doesn't it seem like that all the time for me? It does. I'm getting panic attacks because I'm taking a real hard math class at a community college and I need to pass it to be able to transfer to a university. PLEASE HELP me. I have found a tutor but I ca...

ISMP · ISMP

My son just got out of treatment 2 weeks ago went to his graduation things seemed good but today he doesn't answer any calls . He is in a 3/4 home I really feel since he has not replied to any of my calls he is using again, I just don't think I can go thru this again.

Calyx · Calyx

Hello and thank you all first of all for being here, I have been lurking for about a year and only set up an account very recently. Background - I am 39 and have been with my A for 10 years, married for the past 2. I married him because we both wanted to start a family (didn't happen although ttc for 2 years). ...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	feeling low (Preview) This always happens. I start to feel good and then my moods, energies and mind all backfire on me. Its like my body sould won't allow me to feel good about things for too long. I am sitting here thinking I am bipolar!!!! I just want to crawl under the blankets and disregard the world and everyone in it. Y...	Lindaoakford	9	499	Oct 15, 2011 by rosielee
	Can anyone help me understand? (Preview) I am writing with so much heartbreak and emotion. The man who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with has changed so much that I had to leave. He drinks constantly. In the morning, before work, on his breaks, after work. He has been in two car accidents. One where he got a dui and almost killed himsel...	catiegirl	10	567	Oct 14, 2011 by catiegirl
	Guilt (Preview) I was sick yesterday, had a stomach thing going on, and so I called out of work. I am wondering why I always feel so guilty when I call out (Haven't called out since February) and my sponsor helped me with that yesterday. She said to pray, stop and meditate...stop the chaos from running around in my head...	youfoundme	10	598	Oct 14, 2011 by youfoundme
	faceing the truth is hard to do (Preview) im really am going through the greiveing process i know,this is like a nightmare,lol never would have thought it cause he is not even close to the one i would even marry,but here i am just trying to muddle through allthe pains the best way i can with out faling off the edge ,and just by thinking i might have...	lookingup	6	639	Oct 14, 2011 by rrib
	if the pain i'm in is anything like the pain of the addict, there's a small amount of understanding in me .. (Preview) today i was driving along .. this pain is really something .. be it self inflicted or the fact i truly miss my addict and genuinely love this man .. ok mixed in with the fact i want to fix save him and at this point in time near pity him .. but was beginning to feel such intense pain i wondered if it were anything...	MeTwo2	9	594	Oct 14, 2011 by MeTwo2
	Just for this mili second! (Preview) It makes no real "sense" to want him back. He is not good for me and there would only be pain and confusion. No matter the reasons - No matter what I think I want. It's like wanting something that is bad for me. It makes no real sense for him to drink, long term there is only pain and confusion, no m...	glad	5	377	Oct 13, 2011 by Jerry F
	Dilemma (Preview) I am new to alanon and this board. I am also one-week separated. My dilemma is that my newly exed A and I are attended a conference in a couple of weeks. Actually, it's for my work, he happens to be a speaker. I've made arrangements to not have to sit with him on the flight and advised him that he needs to make h...	luvsapd	16	668	Oct 13, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	for crying out loud (Preview) well ive really enjoyed reading al the posts on separating from the a,i separated 6 mths ago broke it off completely,changed my ph.# and even blocked him off my internet, found me a real good b/f soi thought ive been dumped cant count how many times ,lol then i get a disturbing phone call from my freind sa...	lookingup	8	627	Oct 13, 2011 by lookingup
	thanx to all of the esh that just came flowing in (Preview) yes it hurts and thats just part of it and i may be being played i dunno,and i could be just setting myself up for another big disappointment like always im good at that setting my self up he may and he may not ever call me agin,i know how they r when they find them a new cody to use ,they push the old away in a min....	lookingup	1	298	Oct 13, 2011 by glad
	Leaving him to sleep on the couch...loving detachment...? (Preview) Tonight my qualifier drank, not a lot but enough to give him that little attitude and so I kind of got one too for a bit. I started to want to get into it with him, but I remembered some of my tools and I decided to do some laundry and go up stairs with the lap top to work on some photography stuff. I prayed for s...	youfoundme	13	628	Oct 13, 2011 by sookie
	The camel is broken (Preview) The last two months have been truly awful. Weekly if not biweekly occurences of major medical treatments or surgeries for myself or immediate family members, the weaning process from my treatment, losing Sully, the death of a close friend, business is struggling, school is in full swing. I was p...	Jennifer	11	843	Oct 13, 2011 by Jennifer
	12 Steps and 12 Traditions in Al Anon - Step 9 Steps Books (Preview) Hey group - quick request. Does anyone have the book "12 Steps and 12 Traditions on Al Anon" and access to a scanner or fax machine? I'm chairing a step meeting this evening and the format of the meeting is that we read from that book on the step we're studying (tonight is step 9) and I've trie...	Mlkiss75	2	4713	Oct 13, 2011 by Mlkiss75
	Thoughts on car ignition locks? (Preview) I'm curious to hear how others feel about installing a car ingnition lock on a vehicle to prevent someone from driving while drunk. I know they are sometimes required if someone gets a DWI, but I don't know if it can be done voluntarily? My wife is demonstrating that she is not in control and nearly drove...	usedtobeanyer	10	592	Oct 13, 2011 by mr5191
	Emotional risks .. (Preview) It's been a LONG week and it's only Wednesday .. lol. I've really been struggling this week with a lot of emotional garbage that needs to be processed just to get to the other side. My insecurities are rearing up in a bad way. I'm sure some of it is a HHALT. Hormonal, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired total...	Pushka	4	484	Oct 13, 2011 by rosielee
	addiction poem (Preview) I love you like.. Did you hear me? I love you like... You won't come near me? I love you like it's a question. Like... If I say it enough will you give me affection?? A sign, a glimmer of hope? I love you like the memory. The memory of what it was like, what it should be. But see, that's just me. Imagining... All...	kris10	2	434	Oct 13, 2011 by youfoundme
	I can feel changes (Preview) Hi I think I can feel some changes in me. This is a good thing. I am usually so controlling it isn't funny. In the past, I have found out that my husband finished work early and didn't tell me, Igot home and he was already there.... I was angry, I was upset that I didn't know what was happening, Why would yo...	Lindaoakford	8	515	Oct 12, 2011 by Pushka
	After rehab how did you do it? (Preview) In short, my husband has been in and out of rehab for the past four years and has not worked. I have supported him 100% from his sobriety attempts to handling all of the financial responsibility. We had a baby at the beginning of the year and he went into Full blown drinking every day all day mode then picke...	ToBeHappy	10	935	Oct 12, 2011 by ToBeHappy
	Should I keep my son away from his father? (Preview) My partner (my 6-year-old son's father) is an alcoholic with a history of near death experiences. He can go from 1-3 years sober. But when he falls off the wagon, it is always under very traumatic circumstances. After a year and a half of sobriety, I finally allowed him to move back in with us. I then tru...	Camille Le Montre	14	758	Oct 12, 2011 by Pushka
	advice how to deal with a hostile coworker (Preview) Hi Everyone, I teach part-time at a high school. Last spring when I was about to hop on my bike and ride home after classes a coworker confronted me at the bike rack and began to accuse me of ignoring him, treating him badly, not respecting him. He was shaking and had that "look" in his eyes that...	Patk	10	719	Oct 12, 2011 by Patk
	Learning how to live... (Preview) [video=]	John	6	504	Oct 12, 2011 by GailMichelle
	What should I expect after he's out of rehab? (Preview) Hi again =0) So, he's in rehab, been there 6 days, and has been GREAT as of yesterday afternoon. I'm wondering what kind of 'typical' stuff to expect after he gets home in a month or so? Any advice, heads ups, etc would be greatly appreciated...again. Thank you all for being here for all of us. HUGS!!	PauliePaulie	8	1409	Oct 12, 2011 by pinkchip
	Setting ME Free!! (Preview) [video=]	John	2	363	Oct 12, 2011 by sarebaer
	Working on boundaries.... in all my affairs.... (Preview) Some of you may remember I have a business in photography. I started this business on my own, met a person I connected with, because our son's were friends, saw she did photography, had a good eye and so I asked if she wanted to do it with me. It was all very innocent. I thought we would work great togethe...	youfoundme	8	558	Oct 11, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Infidelity and betrayal (Preview) I asked my Ah to move out of the house tonight. Last week I ran into him with two women in his car. They were drinking, smoking, and having a good time. I, for months, suspected he was having affairs based on his behavior at home. My gut feeling told me we were alone in our relationship. Yet, I left it alone an...	hawaiilover	11	780	Oct 11, 2011 by likemyheart
	Just for today (Preview) I am grateful. For both of my sons. One nearing his 1st anniversary of clean and sober. One in meetings. I'm thankful for my husband. Our little dog. A home I have the honor of cleaning each day, reminds me how grateful I am. The dinner we through last night with both sons, dauther in law, grandchil...	Peggy7	8	531	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	He is finally back (Preview) So my boyfriend is finally back from a 40 day stay in rehab. I am proud of him and things are slowly settling. We both feel a little blah and are a bit overwhelmed. I am trying to keep my sense of peace that I gained while he was away and not worry about him or fuss over him. I am trying to give him his space and sto...	elizabethcontreras	6	557	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Its been way too long, but I'm right where I need to be (Preview) Hello all, Its been quite some time since I have read or posted here, and its bittersweet to see some old faces as well as some new ones. I have finally ended my 9 1/2yr relationship with my abf. Things went from bad to worse, and very quickly after he went to work beyond commuting distance last summer. ...	liljeannie	8	539	Oct 11, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	A spouse as your Higher Power?? (Preview) Hi, My SO is in rehab, day 4 of detox, and has just called to inform me that I am now his Higher Power. Talk about stress!! Can a person actually be a successful HP?? Doesn't that make ME in control of his sobriety?? How can I be his HP??? What I am hoping for is that he gets enough time, education, and guidance...	PauliePaulie	11	658	Oct 11, 2011 by PauliePaulie
	Huge lesson in reality!! (Preview) I am not sure I shared but one night a week or so ago I heard the door handle being tried. My dogs went nuts in a way that I was sure there was someone out there. Since I am up here alone, thinking about what would you do if...comes up a lot in my mind. I have a 9 mil next to my bed, a flashlight and sell and always sl...	Debilyn	12	652	Oct 11, 2011 by Debilyn
	minutes & counting... (Preview) Briefly, quickly, I will update you on my condition. I am doing very well. I still have a lot of gratitude. I also want to give everyone a quote to pass around to all your friends: Friends: A friend knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. Another quote: Be...	Hoot Nanny	0	285	Oct 11, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Alcoholism...or Mental Illness? (Preview) Lately, i've been thinking that my AH is mentally ill. I'm been doing some research and it looks like he may be both. He barely seems functional- living in squalor in what was once our home. He took Ambien and Vodka and wound up in a hospital with hallucinations...not so bad that he didn't forget my work n...	alexmaui	7	1490	Oct 11, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Not sure what to do... (Preview) Hello, I am new to this forum and new to Al-Anon in general. However, I am not new to being with an alcoholic. My gf of three years has been sober for a little over a year, up until yesterday when she relapsed. We were on vacation and staying at a friends condo when on the last day of our stay, my gf found an open...	Frustrated3982	5	440	Oct 11, 2011 by Jerry F
	disappointment and depression (Preview) I am so frustrated and disappointed in my AH and am having a hard time shifting my focus. He let me down by once again with-holding information and basically lying to me about finances. It is not a big thing, that will break us, but it is the principle in that I told him I either wanted us to be partners in o...	oldgraduate	8	750	Oct 11, 2011 by oldgraduate
	Listening! (Preview) Really listening, and hearing, wow, our son has a girlfriend, whoooooooowhoooooooooooo, she's lovely, works as a vet, drives a car, is sensible and decent and kind, and just what he needed, to show him he is was worth it, I have stopped nagging (almost) and I have just had the best conversation with hi...	Katy	4	316	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	ME (Preview) I am a person Why do I have so much trouble looking after me, focusing on me. My sickness is very baffling too it makes it hard for me to mind my own business and to focus on what I have to do. It takes me off in every direction interfering in peoples lives. Al anon is helping me to gain self awareness. I hav...	Tracy	5	446	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Grateful and not freaking out (Preview) I am so very grateful for Al Anon. If it wasn't for Al Anon I would be freaking out right now. My husband went back to detox on August 30 and back to rehab for the third time in less than a year on September 2. He came home on September 27. We went away for a lovely 4 day weekend from September 30 to October 3....	Mlkiss75	14	583	Oct 11, 2011 by Mlkiss75
	Haven't been on in a while, feeling overwhelmed (Preview) I think I have too much on my plate. AH and I are planning on buying a new home as our home will need about $30K of work soon because of it's age and because of HOA guidelines about exterior paint colors, etc. We figured we'd be better off just putting the money into a newer neighborhood and newer home. I'v...	ilovedogs	6	482	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	10th year anniversary (Preview) I'm in a funk. So far this year I've been able to keep it together and even help others who have troublesome marriages. This week it's my 10th year anniversary, and my heart is on the floor. He wanted to go out to dinner and a movie, but I don't want to be around him at all. He went to Target and brought a watch...	gladysg	7	510	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Time Frame (Preview) Day 4 of detox/rehab. Anybody know when the light at the end of the tunnel will be visable? So far he's gone through all of the emotions, along with denial, deal making, saying it's back pain causing the physical symptoms NOT withdrawal, that he's going to leave today, tomorrow, next week...etc. Than...	PauliePaulie	9	793	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Though I know it has to be, it hurts (Preview) My ex just left with a truck load of his stuff, about 75% of it. While he was here his phone rang with "my" ringer (the archies singing sugar sugar) he tried to tell me that it was a guy friend of his - he still thinks of me as that gullible? Yeah, that one hurts. I'm sitting here trying to recover my...	likemyheart	7	755	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	How do you kick someone out that has nowhere to go, no job, no money, no car...? (Preview) I've been involved with "B" for almost 6 years. He's been in detox and hospitalized too many times to count. Usually without a job, verbally abusive when he's drunk (daily), never keeps his promises. I'm ready to move on. Problem is we live together and as the headline says, he has nowhere t...	nancie2248	21	9392	Oct 11, 2011 by nancie2248
	What Does Working It Mean to Me (Preview) Reading Jerry's posting on the statement "It Works if you Work It"started me thinking What does "Working It " mean to me? I came up with the basic tools that I have developed over the years that have become my routine practice that will keep me sane and my program fresh Here is w...	hotrod	6	689	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	in a good place today (Preview) HI guys Well... after a couple of weeks of getting back on the horse.... I am in a good place today. I think one of the catalysts is that the 'real' dope that was in the friends car in our driveway, drove out yesterday. I have not asked if he kept any, I have not said anything about it. I had a straight husba...	Lindaoakford	4	499	Oct 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Success Stories Anyone? (Preview) Have been married to my AH for almost 8 years, only in the last 2 did I become aware of his addictions, and only in the last 6 months have I been in involved in Alanon. It has been transforming and lifesaving for me. Things have improved with my AH, he goes to AA meetings, although has not committed to the pro...	surfgirl123	10	3965	Oct 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Disappointed .. (vent) (Preview) Arrgghhh .. I'm trying to work through this and I'm more mad at myself, still highly disappointed in my AH. I went to the dang hardware store looking for that loaf of bread and son of a gun they were sold out! Grrr!! When push comes to shove I've done it to myself with this situation. I expected my AH to...	Pushka	8	729	Oct 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Psychotic Depression (Preview) I used to come to this board a lot. My AH is not an admitted A. He blames his alcoholism on the long-term prescribed use of a benzodiazipine. He also cold-turkeyed off Effexor. Some of you might remember my posts about a year ago. We had separated, but I let him return after he quit those drugs, b/c I was det...	looking_for_peace	6	519	Oct 10, 2011 by Mattie
	Change (Preview) A year ago, I never thought I'd be posting something on this forum. In fact, I didn't know that alanon existed. But that would have been just before meeting what I thought was the man of my dreams. At first it was funny. He would get drunk and do silly things and we'd tear it up on the dance floor. We fel...	SMT	7	577	Oct 10, 2011 by SMT
	is it a choice once in AA (Preview) I am really confused, I have been seeing acousellor ad she seems really good at getting me to come out of denial and face reality. She says she has worked with a cliet who was in AA so has some knowledge of alcoholism. My partner has been in aa for over two years. slipping and sliding. He was sober 6 months b...	Tracy	11	876	Oct 10, 2011 by John
	It's Working! (Preview) Today, I took our Little Lucky, the kitten we adopted, to the vet's for his first series of shots. (He wasn't too happy.) But I sure was! The assistant, who has never commented on my demeanor in the past, stated that I seemed "more relaxed." That to me is a sign that it's working! Big smile ...	GailMichelle	9	445	Oct 9, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Feeling tired of it all today. (Preview) Some days are better than others. Today is not a good day for me. I haven't gotten to meetings in a couple of weeks which isn't helping. I am physically and mentally exhausted. I mean really exhausted!!! I home school our son, Pay the bills and manage all money Clean the house Parent alone Do the taxe...	clep	13	606	Oct 9, 2011 by GailMichelle
	New here (Preview) The drinker in my life is my mother. I have only recently come across alanon and I am a bit apprehensive to attend a meeting. Although the concept sounds really helpful. My mum has always enjoyed going to pubs and socialising and her and her now husband even made a career out of running different pubs for...	lovelybertha	7	439	Oct 9, 2011 by lovelybertha
	Been on the verge of a panic attack all day (Preview) Trying to deal with anger the last few days and it's been rough. Been here alone at the house all day and trying to clean in order to keep from thinking. Hasn't been working very well, and now I'm having an auto-immune flareup so I'm in a lot of pain and can't keep doing chores. Mom seems to be staying sobe...	scholarlydragon	4	615	Oct 9, 2011 by hawaiilover
	This works when you work it.... (Preview) Aloha Family and I'm just delighted!! We had 4 newcomers at this mornings meeting and listening to their shares I became grateful for the time and the lessons and the practices and meetings and literature and the membership and of course my HP all of who have showed up in my life since I first got into A...	Jerry F	6	389	Oct 9, 2011 by hawaiilover
	only positive things--at least I will try! (Preview) As I sit here, I think I can think of only positive things to share w/ you. The peace of the program is coming over me a little at a time. I am just happy that I can find peace. I love that when we work the program, Peace comes to us. I guess the main topic of my share is finding peace. It is so good to know that after...	Hoot Nanny	2	474	Oct 8, 2011 by flopadopilus
	New Group Meeting (Preview) Hi, After joining al-anon 2yrs ago, I finally feel ready to open a new meeting in the area I live. We live ruraly out here in Australia, on the outskirts of a little place. There's a hall here that is rarely used, so I've spoke to the people about using it. They seem very happy to have the group started up...	Tracey C	5	379	Oct 8, 2011 by flopadopilus
	still grateful! (Preview) No matter what happens, where I go or where I end up, I will always & I mean always be grateful for where I am! I can't do anything w/o the help of my HP & that is where gratitude comes from. Yeah, maybe I have struggled in the last couple of days but I can't forget that I have so much to be grateful for. I...	Hoot Nanny	2	375	Oct 8, 2011 by flopadopilus
	newby (Preview) Hi...I attended my first F2F meeting on Friday and am not sure if I'm going to be going again. It was a good meeting, but my A is VERY angry about it. He is very much steeped in denial about his problem drinking and today said that I should get a lawyer; that since I've taken this step, which he thinks is comp...	luvsapd	10	892	Oct 8, 2011 by luvsapd
	PLEASE HELP ME (Preview) I am having a real hard time right now in my life. Gosh doesn't it seem like that all the time for me? It does. I'm getting panic attacks because I'm taking a real hard math class at a community college and I need to pass it to be able to transfer to a university. PLEASE HELP me. I have found a tutor but I ca...	ineedhelpnow	8	631	Oct 8, 2011 by ineedhelpnow
	Don't know what to do, I think I lost my son to drugs again (Preview) My son just got out of treatment 2 weeks ago went to his graduation things seemed good but today he doesn't answer any calls . He is in a 3/4 home I really feel since he has not replied to any of my calls he is using again, I just don't think I can go thru this again.	ISMP	3	615	Oct 8, 2011 by GailMichelle
	New and asking for ESH (long, sorry) (Preview) Hello and thank you all first of all for being here, I have been lurking for about a year and only set up an account very recently. Background - I am 39 and have been with my A for 10 years, married for the past 2. I married him because we both wanted to start a family (didn't happen although ttc for 2 years). ...	Calyx	6	677	Oct 8, 2011 by Calyx
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.