Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

tommyecat · tommyecat

I was carrying so much anger when I walked into the rooms of alanon that I could not feel any other emotion. I felt completely comfortable with indifference, apathy, and disdain. As a newcomer I absolutely hated what my AH did to me and the life I was having as a result of his choices. Today I am remind...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

For a long time before I got involved with Alanon I was resentful and bitter that I was the sole breadwinner for my AH and myself. "What a burden I carry" I would often think, why is my life so hard. I make a very good living which supports us nicely, he has never been able to hold down steady wor...

glad · glad

I think of my qualifier as my most recent long term BF// this post is OLD history stuff...and was "spurred" by facebook pictures of my new grandson posted by my emotionally challenged ex husband's new wife... I'll admit I've messed up much in my life but my daughters are amazing adults. I f...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I feel broken, disillusioned. The jeep the murderers left up here had a body in it, the killers father. They also killed a man for being black in Eureka Ca.Who knows who else they killed. They killed Cody becuz his name sounded Jewish. Can you imagine what they would have done, me being a JW? Do not feel sa...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

Just checking in to report on the second day of my detachment experiment. My husband is still drinking, matter of face passed out in his easy chair as I type. I'm worried about his health. Not sure what can physically happen to him if this keeps up. Not sure what my responsibilty to call a doctor or so...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My face to face meeting tonight was on asking for help. It made me realize how much I am missing out on in this program in that I don't ask others for help. In thinking about it, I realized that this is undoubtedly a result of my childhood and growing up with alcoholic parents. My parents drinking was a secr...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Hi all; the computer troubles persist at home, and my new temp job blocks most non-work related websites. But I seem to have reasonably good internet access tonight; definitely my HP at work, since I have been in serious need of MIP! I'm making some progress, mostly because I'm back at work. It make...

silentcygnet · silentcygnet

Hello all, I have been lurking on MIP for a few weeks now and have been so inspired by the words of wisdom and hope. It has taken me a while to get up the nerve to post my story and ask for some help, but this special kind of pain is a great motivator! My AH had abstained from alcohol for the past 15 years. I say ab...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon Meeting tomorrow morning as I need to accompany a friend to hospital for surgery. Hoping someone can step up and chair for me. Thanks. Shimo aka Jeri

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

The other night I probably should have reported my AH as a drunk driver. How do I go about doing that? Do I just call 911 and give them the approximate location and the car plate number and description or do I call the non-emergency number of the local authorities? I was wondering because we live in an a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is so weird that no one commented on my post the last time. I guess it is OK since all I did was mention a couple thoughts that weren't even original. I won't take it personally. I am just glad you viewed it. So much on my mind but as usual not much time. I will just say that although I am waking up early & h...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

As I said before, I am feeling low. I am thinking it may be because of hormones but also, maybe I am not feeling very 'safe'. I do not trust anyone in my life to allow anyone close enough to allow me to feel What I want right now, is someone to hold me tight while I cry and rock and bawl my eyes out and scream out t...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

This always happens. I start to feel good and then my moods, energies and mind all backfire on me. Its like my body sould won't allow me to feel good about things for too long. I am sitting here thinking I am bipolar!!!! I just want to crawl under the blankets and disregard the world and everyone in it. Y...

catiegirl · catiegirl

I am writing with so much heartbreak and emotion. The man who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with has changed so much that I had to leave. He drinks constantly. In the morning, before work, on his breaks, after work. He has been in two car accidents. One where he got a dui and almost killed himsel...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I was sick yesterday, had a stomach thing going on, and so I called out of work. I am wondering why I always feel so guilty when I call out (Haven't called out since February) and my sponsor helped me with that yesterday. She said to pray, stop and meditate...stop the chaos from running around in my head...

lookingup · lookingup

im really am going through the greiveing process i know,this is like a nightmare,lol never would have thought it cause he is not even close to the one i would even marry,but here i am just trying to muddle through allthe pains the best way i can with out faling off the edge ,and just by thinking i might have...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

today i was driving along .. this pain is really something .. be it self inflicted or the fact i truly miss my addict and genuinely love this man .. ok mixed in with the fact i want to fix save him and at this point in time near pity him .. but was beginning to feel such intense pain i wondered if it were anything...

glad · glad

It makes no real "sense" to want him back. He is not good for me and there would only be pain and confusion. No matter the reasons - No matter what I think I want. It's like wanting something that is bad for me. It makes no real sense for him to drink, long term there is only pain and confusion, no m...

luvsapd · luvsapd

I am new to alanon and this board. I am also one-week separated. My dilemma is that my newly exed A and I are attended a conference in a couple of weeks. Actually, it's for my work, he happens to be a speaker. I've made arrangements to not have to sit with him on the flight and advised him that he needs to make h...

lookingup · lookingup

well ive really enjoyed reading al the posts on separating from the a,i separated 6 mths ago broke it off completely,changed my ph.# and even blocked him off my internet, found me a real good b/f soi thought ive been dumped cant count how many times ,lol then i get a disturbing phone call from my freind sa...

lookingup · lookingup

yes it hurts and thats just part of it and i may be being played i dunno,and i could be just setting myself up for another big disappointment like always im good at that setting my self up he may and he may not ever call me agin,i know how they r when they find them a new cody to use ,they push the old away in a min....

youfoundme · youfoundme

Tonight my qualifier drank, not a lot but enough to give him that little attitude and so I kind of got one too for a bit. I started to want to get into it with him, but I remembered some of my tools and I decided to do some laundry and go up stairs with the lap top to work on some photography stuff. I prayed for s...

Jennifer · Jennifer

The last two months have been truly awful. Weekly if not biweekly occurences of major medical treatments or surgeries for myself or immediate family members, the weaning process from my treatment, losing Sully, the death of a close friend, business is struggling, school is in full swing. I was p...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

Hey group - quick request. Does anyone have the book "12 Steps and 12 Traditions on Al Anon" and access to a scanner or fax machine? I'm chairing a step meeting this evening and the format of the meeting is that we read from that book on the step we're studying (tonight is step 9) and I've trie...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I'm curious to hear how others feel about installing a car ingnition lock on a vehicle to prevent someone from driving while drunk. I know they are sometimes required if someone gets a DWI, but I don't know if it can be done voluntarily? My wife is demonstrating that she is not in control and nearly drove...

Pushka · Pushka

It's been a LONG week and it's only Wednesday .. lol. I've really been struggling this week with a lot of emotional garbage that needs to be processed just to get to the other side. My insecurities are rearing up in a bad way. I'm sure some of it is a HHALT. Hormonal, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired total...

kris10 · kris10

I love you like.. Did you hear me? I love you like... You won't come near me? I love you like it's a question. Like... If I say it enough will you give me affection?? A sign, a glimmer of hope? I love you like the memory. The memory of what it was like, what it should be. But see, that's just me. Imagining... All...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I think I can feel some changes in me. This is a good thing. I am usually so controlling it isn't funny. In the past, I have found out that my husband finished work early and didn't tell me, Igot home and he was already there.... I was angry, I was upset that I didn't know what was happening, Why would yo...

ToBeHappy · ToBeHappy

In short, my husband has been in and out of rehab for the past four years and has not worked. I have supported him 100% from his sobriety attempts to handling all of the financial responsibility. We had a baby at the beginning of the year and he went into Full blown drinking every day all day mode then picke...

Camille Le Montre · Camille Le Montre

My partner (my 6-year-old son's father) is an alcoholic with a history of near death experiences. He can go from 1-3 years sober. But when he falls off the wagon, it is always under very traumatic circumstances. After a year and a half of sobriety, I finally allowed him to move back in with us. I then tru...

Patk · Patk

Hi Everyone, I teach part-time at a high school. Last spring when I was about to hop on my bike and ride home after classes a coworker confronted me at the bike rack and began to accuse me of ignoring him, treating him badly, not respecting him. He was shaking and had that "look" in his eyes that...

John · John

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PauliePaulie · PauliePaulie

Hi again =0) So, he's in rehab, been there 6 days, and has been GREAT as of yesterday afternoon. I'm wondering what kind of 'typical' stuff to expect after he gets home in a month or so? Any advice, heads ups, etc would be greatly appreciated...again. Thank you all for being here for all of us. HUGS!!

John · John

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youfoundme · youfoundme

Some of you may remember I have a business in photography. I started this business on my own, met a person I connected with, because our son's were friends, saw she did photography, had a good eye and so I asked if she wanted to do it with me. It was all very innocent. I thought we would work great togethe...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

I asked my Ah to move out of the house tonight. Last week I ran into him with two women in his car. They were drinking, smoking, and having a good time. I, for months, suspected he was having affairs based on his behavior at home. My gut feeling told me we were alone in our relationship. Yet, I left it alone an...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

I am grateful. For both of my sons. One nearing his 1st anniversary of clean and sober. One in meetings. I'm thankful for my husband. Our little dog. A home I have the honor of cleaning each day, reminds me how grateful I am. The dinner we through last night with both sons, dauther in law, grandchil...

elizabethcontreras · elizabethcontreras

So my boyfriend is finally back from a 40 day stay in rehab. I am proud of him and things are slowly settling. We both feel a little blah and are a bit overwhelmed. I am trying to keep my sense of peace that I gained while he was away and not worry about him or fuss over him. I am trying to give him his space and sto...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, Its been quite some time since I have read or posted here, and its bittersweet to see some old faces as well as some new ones. I have finally ended my 9 1/2yr relationship with my abf. Things went from bad to worse, and very quickly after he went to work beyond commuting distance last summer. ...

PauliePaulie · PauliePaulie

Hi, My SO is in rehab, day 4 of detox, and has just called to inform me that I am now his Higher Power. Talk about stress!! Can a person actually be a successful HP?? Doesn't that make ME in control of his sobriety?? How can I be his HP??? What I am hoping for is that he gets enough time, education, and guidance...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am not sure I shared but one night a week or so ago I heard the door handle being tried. My dogs went nuts in a way that I was sure there was someone out there. Since I am up here alone, thinking about what would you do if...comes up a lot in my mind. I have a 9 mil next to my bed, a flashlight and sell and always sl...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Briefly, quickly, I will update you on my condition. I am doing very well. I still have a lot of gratitude. I also want to give everyone a quote to pass around to all your friends: Friends: A friend knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. Another quote: Be...

alexmaui · alexmaui

Lately, i've been thinking that my AH is mentally ill. I'm been doing some research and it looks like he may be both. He barely seems functional- living in squalor in what was once our home. He took Ambien and Vodka and wound up in a hospital with hallucinations...not so bad that he didn't forget my work n...

Frustrated3982 · Frustrated3982

Hello, I am new to this forum and new to Al-Anon in general. However, I am not new to being with an alcoholic. My gf of three years has been sober for a little over a year, up until yesterday when she relapsed. We were on vacation and staying at a friends condo when on the last day of our stay, my gf found an open...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I am so frustrated and disappointed in my AH and am having a hard time shifting my focus. He let me down by once again with-holding information and basically lying to me about finances. It is not a big thing, that will break us, but it is the principle in that I told him I either wanted us to be partners in o...

Katy · Katy

Really listening, and hearing, wow, our son has a girlfriend, whoooooooowhoooooooooooo, she's lovely, works as a vet, drives a car, is sensible and decent and kind, and just what he needed, to show him he is was worth it, I have stopped nagging (almost) and I have just had the best conversation with hi...

Tracy · Tracy

I am a person Why do I have so much trouble looking after me, focusing on me. My sickness is very baffling too it makes it hard for me to mind my own business and to focus on what I have to do. It takes me off in every direction interfering in peoples lives. Al anon is helping me to gain self awareness. I hav...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

I am so very grateful for Al Anon. If it wasn't for Al Anon I would be freaking out right now. My husband went back to detox on August 30 and back to rehab for the third time in less than a year on September 2. He came home on September 27. We went away for a lovely 4 day weekend from September 30 to October 3....

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I think I have too much on my plate. AH and I are planning on buying a new home as our home will need about $30K of work soon because of it's age and because of HOA guidelines about exterior paint colors, etc. We figured we'd be better off just putting the money into a newer neighborhood and newer home. I'v...

gladysg · gladysg

I'm in a funk. So far this year I've been able to keep it together and even help others who have troublesome marriages. This week it's my 10th year anniversary, and my heart is on the floor. He wanted to go out to dinner and a movie, but I don't want to be around him at all. He went to Target and brought a watch...

PauliePaulie · PauliePaulie

Day 4 of detox/rehab. Anybody know when the light at the end of the tunnel will be visable? So far he's gone through all of the emotions, along with denial, deal making, saying it's back pain causing the physical symptoms NOT withdrawal, that he's going to leave today, tomorrow, next week...etc. Than...

likemyheart · likemyheart

My ex just left with a truck load of his stuff, about 75% of it. While he was here his phone rang with "my" ringer (the archies singing sugar sugar) he tried to tell me that it was a guy friend of his - he still thinks of me as that gullible? Yeah, that one hurts. I'm sitting here trying to recover my...

nancie2248 · nancie2248

I've been involved with "B" for almost 6 years. He's been in detox and hospitalized too many times to count. Usually without a job, verbally abusive when he's drunk (daily), never keeps his promises. I'm ready to move on. Problem is we live together and as the headline says, he has nowhere t...

hotrod · hotrod

Reading Jerry's posting on the statement "It Works if you Work It"started me thinking What does "Working It " mean to me? I came up with the basic tools that I have developed over the years that have become my routine practice that will keep me sane and my program fresh Here is w...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI guys Well... after a couple of weeks of getting back on the horse.... I am in a good place today. I think one of the catalysts is that the 'real' dope that was in the friends car in our driveway, drove out yesterday. I have not asked if he kept any, I have not said anything about it. I had a straight husba...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

Have been married to my AH for almost 8 years, only in the last 2 did I become aware of his addictions, and only in the last 6 months have I been in involved in Alanon. It has been transforming and lifesaving for me. Things have improved with my AH, he goes to AA meetings, although has not committed to the pro...

Pushka · Pushka

Arrgghhh .. I'm trying to work through this and I'm more mad at myself, still highly disappointed in my AH. I went to the dang hardware store looking for that loaf of bread and son of a gun they were sold out! Grrr!! When push comes to shove I've done it to myself with this situation. I expected my AH to...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

I used to come to this board a lot. My AH is not an admitted A. He blames his alcoholism on the long-term prescribed use of a benzodiazipine. He also cold-turkeyed off Effexor. Some of you might remember my posts about a year ago. We had separated, but I let him return after he quit those drugs, b/c I was det...

SMT · SMT

A year ago, I never thought I'd be posting something on this forum. In fact, I didn't know that alanon existed. But that would have been just before meeting what I thought was the man of my dreams. At first it was funny. He would get drunk and do silly things and we'd tear it up on the dance floor. We fel...

Tracy · Tracy

I am really confused, I have been seeing acousellor ad she seems really good at getting me to come out of denial and face reality. She says she has worked with a cliet who was in AA so has some knowledge of alcoholism. My partner has been in aa for over two years. slipping and sliding. He was sober 6 months b...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A N G E R (Preview) I was carrying so much anger when I walked into the rooms of alanon that I could not feel any other emotion. I felt completely comfortable with indifference, apathy, and disdain. As a newcomer I absolutely hated what my AH did to me and the life I was having as a result of his choices. Today I am remind...	tommyecat	5	587	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Gratitude For Self Sufficiency (Preview) For a long time before I got involved with Alanon I was resentful and bitter that I was the sole breadwinner for my AH and myself. "What a burden I carry" I would often think, why is my life so hard. I make a very good living which supports us nicely, he has never been able to hold down steady wor...	surfgirl123	7	822	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	See the train coming down the track! (Preview) I think of my qualifier as my most recent long term BF// this post is OLD history stuff...and was "spurred" by facebook pictures of my new grandson posted by my emotionally challenged ex husband's new wife... I'll admit I've messed up much in my life but my daughters are amazing adults. I f...	glad	5	645	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	came here,didn't know what else to do. (Preview) I feel broken, disillusioned. The jeep the murderers left up here had a body in it, the killers father. They also killed a man for being black in Eureka Ca.Who knows who else they killed. They killed Cody becuz his name sounded Jewish. Can you imagine what they would have done, me being a JW? Do not feel sa...	Debilyn	16	693	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Day 2 of Detachment Recovery Detachment Fellowship Gratitude (Preview) Just checking in to report on the second day of my detachment experiment. My husband is still drinking, matter of face passed out in his easy chair as I type. I'm worried about his health. Not sure what can physically happen to him if this keeps up. Not sure what my responsibilty to call a doctor or so...	Mlkiss75	10	8759	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Asking for help (Preview) My face to face meeting tonight was on asking for help. It made me realize how much I am missing out on in this program in that I don't ask others for help. In thinking about it, I realized that this is undoubtedly a result of my childhood and growing up with alcoholic parents. My parents drinking was a secr...	usedtobeanyer	4	888	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Progress...and backtracking (Preview) Hi all; the computer troubles persist at home, and my new temp job blocks most non-work related websites. But I seem to have reasonably good internet access tonight; definitely my HP at work, since I have been in serious need of MIP! I'm making some progress, mostly because I'm back at work. It make...	stephaniej	3	432	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	New to MIP... (Preview) Hello all, I have been lurking on MIP for a few weeks now and have been so inspired by the words of wisdom and hope. It has taken me a while to get up the nerve to post my story and ask for some help, but this special kind of pain is a great motivator! My AH had abstained from alcohol for the past 15 years. I say ab...	silentcygnet	7	741	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	MONDAY AL-ANON MTG Oct 17 (Preview) I am unable to honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon Meeting tomorrow morning as I need to accompany a friend to hospital for surgery. Hoping someone can step up and chair for me. Thanks. Shimo aka Jeri	shimo	0	241	Oct 16, 2011 by shimo
	Have you ever called the authorities? (Preview) The other night I probably should have reported my AH as a drunk driver. How do I go about doing that? Do I just call 911 and give them the approximate location and the car plate number and description or do I call the non-emergency number of the local authorities? I was wondering because we live in an a...	ilovedogs	16	934	Oct 16, 2011 by rehprof
	that is so weird... (Preview) It is so weird that no one commented on my post the last time. I guess it is OK since all I did was mention a couple thoughts that weren't even original. I won't take it personally. I am just glad you viewed it. So much on my mind but as usual not much time. I will just say that although I am waking up early & h...	Hoot Nanny	4	505	Oct 15, 2011 by nmike
	safety and trust (Preview) As I said before, I am feeling low. I am thinking it may be because of hormones but also, maybe I am not feeling very 'safe'. I do not trust anyone in my life to allow anyone close enough to allow me to feel What I want right now, is someone to hold me tight while I cry and rock and bawl my eyes out and scream out t...	Lindaoakford	14	478	Oct 15, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	feeling low (Preview) This always happens. I start to feel good and then my moods, energies and mind all backfire on me. Its like my body sould won't allow me to feel good about things for too long. I am sitting here thinking I am bipolar!!!! I just want to crawl under the blankets and disregard the world and everyone in it. Y...	Lindaoakford	9	521	Oct 15, 2011 by rosielee
	Can anyone help me understand? (Preview) I am writing with so much heartbreak and emotion. The man who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with has changed so much that I had to leave. He drinks constantly. In the morning, before work, on his breaks, after work. He has been in two car accidents. One where he got a dui and almost killed himsel...	catiegirl	10	591	Oct 14, 2011 by catiegirl
	Guilt (Preview) I was sick yesterday, had a stomach thing going on, and so I called out of work. I am wondering why I always feel so guilty when I call out (Haven't called out since February) and my sponsor helped me with that yesterday. She said to pray, stop and meditate...stop the chaos from running around in my head...	youfoundme	10	623	Oct 14, 2011 by youfoundme
	faceing the truth is hard to do (Preview) im really am going through the greiveing process i know,this is like a nightmare,lol never would have thought it cause he is not even close to the one i would even marry,but here i am just trying to muddle through allthe pains the best way i can with out faling off the edge ,and just by thinking i might have...	lookingup	6	664	Oct 14, 2011 by rrib
	if the pain i'm in is anything like the pain of the addict, there's a small amount of understanding in me .. (Preview) today i was driving along .. this pain is really something .. be it self inflicted or the fact i truly miss my addict and genuinely love this man .. ok mixed in with the fact i want to fix save him and at this point in time near pity him .. but was beginning to feel such intense pain i wondered if it were anything...	MeTwo2	9	618	Oct 14, 2011 by MeTwo2
	Just for this mili second! (Preview) It makes no real "sense" to want him back. He is not good for me and there would only be pain and confusion. No matter the reasons - No matter what I think I want. It's like wanting something that is bad for me. It makes no real sense for him to drink, long term there is only pain and confusion, no m...	glad	5	403	Oct 13, 2011 by Jerry F
	Dilemma (Preview) I am new to alanon and this board. I am also one-week separated. My dilemma is that my newly exed A and I are attended a conference in a couple of weeks. Actually, it's for my work, he happens to be a speaker. I've made arrangements to not have to sit with him on the flight and advised him that he needs to make h...	luvsapd	16	694	Oct 13, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	for crying out loud (Preview) well ive really enjoyed reading al the posts on separating from the a,i separated 6 mths ago broke it off completely,changed my ph.# and even blocked him off my internet, found me a real good b/f soi thought ive been dumped cant count how many times ,lol then i get a disturbing phone call from my freind sa...	lookingup	8	652	Oct 13, 2011 by lookingup
	thanx to all of the esh that just came flowing in (Preview) yes it hurts and thats just part of it and i may be being played i dunno,and i could be just setting myself up for another big disappointment like always im good at that setting my self up he may and he may not ever call me agin,i know how they r when they find them a new cody to use ,they push the old away in a min....	lookingup	1	321	Oct 13, 2011 by glad
	Leaving him to sleep on the couch...loving detachment...? (Preview) Tonight my qualifier drank, not a lot but enough to give him that little attitude and so I kind of got one too for a bit. I started to want to get into it with him, but I remembered some of my tools and I decided to do some laundry and go up stairs with the lap top to work on some photography stuff. I prayed for s...	youfoundme	13	651	Oct 13, 2011 by sookie
	The camel is broken (Preview) The last two months have been truly awful. Weekly if not biweekly occurences of major medical treatments or surgeries for myself or immediate family members, the weaning process from my treatment, losing Sully, the death of a close friend, business is struggling, school is in full swing. I was p...	Jennifer	11	867	Oct 13, 2011 by Jennifer
	12 Steps and 12 Traditions in Al Anon - Step 9 Steps Books (Preview) Hey group - quick request. Does anyone have the book "12 Steps and 12 Traditions on Al Anon" and access to a scanner or fax machine? I'm chairing a step meeting this evening and the format of the meeting is that we read from that book on the step we're studying (tonight is step 9) and I've trie...	Mlkiss75	2	5031	Oct 13, 2011 by Mlkiss75
	Thoughts on car ignition locks? (Preview) I'm curious to hear how others feel about installing a car ingnition lock on a vehicle to prevent someone from driving while drunk. I know they are sometimes required if someone gets a DWI, but I don't know if it can be done voluntarily? My wife is demonstrating that she is not in control and nearly drove...	usedtobeanyer	10	614	Oct 13, 2011 by mr5191
	Emotional risks .. (Preview) It's been a LONG week and it's only Wednesday .. lol. I've really been struggling this week with a lot of emotional garbage that needs to be processed just to get to the other side. My insecurities are rearing up in a bad way. I'm sure some of it is a HHALT. Hormonal, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired total...	Pushka	4	508	Oct 13, 2011 by rosielee
	addiction poem (Preview) I love you like.. Did you hear me? I love you like... You won't come near me? I love you like it's a question. Like... If I say it enough will you give me affection?? A sign, a glimmer of hope? I love you like the memory. The memory of what it was like, what it should be. But see, that's just me. Imagining... All...	kris10	2	459	Oct 13, 2011 by youfoundme
	I can feel changes (Preview) Hi I think I can feel some changes in me. This is a good thing. I am usually so controlling it isn't funny. In the past, I have found out that my husband finished work early and didn't tell me, Igot home and he was already there.... I was angry, I was upset that I didn't know what was happening, Why would yo...	Lindaoakford	8	540	Oct 12, 2011 by Pushka
	After rehab how did you do it? (Preview) In short, my husband has been in and out of rehab for the past four years and has not worked. I have supported him 100% from his sobriety attempts to handling all of the financial responsibility. We had a baby at the beginning of the year and he went into Full blown drinking every day all day mode then picke...	ToBeHappy	10	964	Oct 12, 2011 by ToBeHappy
	Should I keep my son away from his father? (Preview) My partner (my 6-year-old son's father) is an alcoholic with a history of near death experiences. He can go from 1-3 years sober. But when he falls off the wagon, it is always under very traumatic circumstances. After a year and a half of sobriety, I finally allowed him to move back in with us. I then tru...	Camille Le Montre	14	780	Oct 12, 2011 by Pushka
	advice how to deal with a hostile coworker (Preview) Hi Everyone, I teach part-time at a high school. Last spring when I was about to hop on my bike and ride home after classes a coworker confronted me at the bike rack and began to accuse me of ignoring him, treating him badly, not respecting him. He was shaking and had that "look" in his eyes that...	Patk	10	744	Oct 12, 2011 by Patk
	Learning how to live... (Preview) [video=]	John	6	528	Oct 12, 2011 by GailMichelle
	What should I expect after he's out of rehab? (Preview) Hi again =0) So, he's in rehab, been there 6 days, and has been GREAT as of yesterday afternoon. I'm wondering what kind of 'typical' stuff to expect after he gets home in a month or so? Any advice, heads ups, etc would be greatly appreciated...again. Thank you all for being here for all of us. HUGS!!	PauliePaulie	8	1438	Oct 12, 2011 by pinkchip
	Setting ME Free!! (Preview) [video=]	John	2	388	Oct 12, 2011 by sarebaer
	Working on boundaries.... in all my affairs.... (Preview) Some of you may remember I have a business in photography. I started this business on my own, met a person I connected with, because our son's were friends, saw she did photography, had a good eye and so I asked if she wanted to do it with me. It was all very innocent. I thought we would work great togethe...	youfoundme	8	584	Oct 11, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Infidelity and betrayal (Preview) I asked my Ah to move out of the house tonight. Last week I ran into him with two women in his car. They were drinking, smoking, and having a good time. I, for months, suspected he was having affairs based on his behavior at home. My gut feeling told me we were alone in our relationship. Yet, I left it alone an...	hawaiilover	11	805	Oct 11, 2011 by likemyheart
	Just for today (Preview) I am grateful. For both of my sons. One nearing his 1st anniversary of clean and sober. One in meetings. I'm thankful for my husband. Our little dog. A home I have the honor of cleaning each day, reminds me how grateful I am. The dinner we through last night with both sons, dauther in law, grandchil...	Peggy7	8	554	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	He is finally back (Preview) So my boyfriend is finally back from a 40 day stay in rehab. I am proud of him and things are slowly settling. We both feel a little blah and are a bit overwhelmed. I am trying to keep my sense of peace that I gained while he was away and not worry about him or fuss over him. I am trying to give him his space and sto...	elizabethcontreras	6	585	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Its been way too long, but I'm right where I need to be (Preview) Hello all, Its been quite some time since I have read or posted here, and its bittersweet to see some old faces as well as some new ones. I have finally ended my 9 1/2yr relationship with my abf. Things went from bad to worse, and very quickly after he went to work beyond commuting distance last summer. ...	liljeannie	8	564	Oct 11, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	A spouse as your Higher Power?? (Preview) Hi, My SO is in rehab, day 4 of detox, and has just called to inform me that I am now his Higher Power. Talk about stress!! Can a person actually be a successful HP?? Doesn't that make ME in control of his sobriety?? How can I be his HP??? What I am hoping for is that he gets enough time, education, and guidance...	PauliePaulie	11	683	Oct 11, 2011 by PauliePaulie
	Huge lesson in reality!! (Preview) I am not sure I shared but one night a week or so ago I heard the door handle being tried. My dogs went nuts in a way that I was sure there was someone out there. Since I am up here alone, thinking about what would you do if...comes up a lot in my mind. I have a 9 mil next to my bed, a flashlight and sell and always sl...	Debilyn	12	676	Oct 11, 2011 by Debilyn
	minutes & counting... (Preview) Briefly, quickly, I will update you on my condition. I am doing very well. I still have a lot of gratitude. I also want to give everyone a quote to pass around to all your friends: Friends: A friend knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. Another quote: Be...	Hoot Nanny	0	310	Oct 11, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Alcoholism...or Mental Illness? (Preview) Lately, i've been thinking that my AH is mentally ill. I'm been doing some research and it looks like he may be both. He barely seems functional- living in squalor in what was once our home. He took Ambien and Vodka and wound up in a hospital with hallucinations...not so bad that he didn't forget my work n...	alexmaui	7	1516	Oct 11, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Not sure what to do... (Preview) Hello, I am new to this forum and new to Al-Anon in general. However, I am not new to being with an alcoholic. My gf of three years has been sober for a little over a year, up until yesterday when she relapsed. We were on vacation and staying at a friends condo when on the last day of our stay, my gf found an open...	Frustrated3982	5	463	Oct 11, 2011 by Jerry F
	disappointment and depression (Preview) I am so frustrated and disappointed in my AH and am having a hard time shifting my focus. He let me down by once again with-holding information and basically lying to me about finances. It is not a big thing, that will break us, but it is the principle in that I told him I either wanted us to be partners in o...	oldgraduate	8	776	Oct 11, 2011 by oldgraduate
	Listening! (Preview) Really listening, and hearing, wow, our son has a girlfriend, whoooooooowhoooooooooooo, she's lovely, works as a vet, drives a car, is sensible and decent and kind, and just what he needed, to show him he is was worth it, I have stopped nagging (almost) and I have just had the best conversation with hi...	Katy	4	342	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	ME (Preview) I am a person Why do I have so much trouble looking after me, focusing on me. My sickness is very baffling too it makes it hard for me to mind my own business and to focus on what I have to do. It takes me off in every direction interfering in peoples lives. Al anon is helping me to gain self awareness. I hav...	Tracy	5	473	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Grateful and not freaking out (Preview) I am so very grateful for Al Anon. If it wasn't for Al Anon I would be freaking out right now. My husband went back to detox on August 30 and back to rehab for the third time in less than a year on September 2. He came home on September 27. We went away for a lovely 4 day weekend from September 30 to October 3....	Mlkiss75	14	610	Oct 11, 2011 by Mlkiss75
	Haven't been on in a while, feeling overwhelmed (Preview) I think I have too much on my plate. AH and I are planning on buying a new home as our home will need about $30K of work soon because of it's age and because of HOA guidelines about exterior paint colors, etc. We figured we'd be better off just putting the money into a newer neighborhood and newer home. I'v...	ilovedogs	6	506	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	10th year anniversary (Preview) I'm in a funk. So far this year I've been able to keep it together and even help others who have troublesome marriages. This week it's my 10th year anniversary, and my heart is on the floor. He wanted to go out to dinner and a movie, but I don't want to be around him at all. He went to Target and brought a watch...	gladysg	7	536	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Time Frame (Preview) Day 4 of detox/rehab. Anybody know when the light at the end of the tunnel will be visable? So far he's gone through all of the emotions, along with denial, deal making, saying it's back pain causing the physical symptoms NOT withdrawal, that he's going to leave today, tomorrow, next week...etc. Than...	PauliePaulie	9	813	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Though I know it has to be, it hurts (Preview) My ex just left with a truck load of his stuff, about 75% of it. While he was here his phone rang with "my" ringer (the archies singing sugar sugar) he tried to tell me that it was a guy friend of his - he still thinks of me as that gullible? Yeah, that one hurts. I'm sitting here trying to recover my...	likemyheart	7	778	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	How do you kick someone out that has nowhere to go, no job, no money, no car...? (Preview) I've been involved with "B" for almost 6 years. He's been in detox and hospitalized too many times to count. Usually without a job, verbally abusive when he's drunk (daily), never keeps his promises. I'm ready to move on. Problem is we live together and as the headline says, he has nowhere t...	nancie2248	21	9531	Oct 11, 2011 by nancie2248
	What Does Working It Mean to Me (Preview) Reading Jerry's posting on the statement "It Works if you Work It"started me thinking What does "Working It " mean to me? I came up with the basic tools that I have developed over the years that have become my routine practice that will keep me sane and my program fresh Here is w...	hotrod	6	715	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	in a good place today (Preview) HI guys Well... after a couple of weeks of getting back on the horse.... I am in a good place today. I think one of the catalysts is that the 'real' dope that was in the friends car in our driveway, drove out yesterday. I have not asked if he kept any, I have not said anything about it. I had a straight husba...	Lindaoakford	4	524	Oct 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Success Stories Anyone? (Preview) Have been married to my AH for almost 8 years, only in the last 2 did I become aware of his addictions, and only in the last 6 months have I been in involved in Alanon. It has been transforming and lifesaving for me. Things have improved with my AH, he goes to AA meetings, although has not committed to the pro...	surfgirl123	10	4053	Oct 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Disappointed .. (vent) (Preview) Arrgghhh .. I'm trying to work through this and I'm more mad at myself, still highly disappointed in my AH. I went to the dang hardware store looking for that loaf of bread and son of a gun they were sold out! Grrr!! When push comes to shove I've done it to myself with this situation. I expected my AH to...	Pushka	8	756	Oct 11, 2011 by youfoundme
	Psychotic Depression (Preview) I used to come to this board a lot. My AH is not an admitted A. He blames his alcoholism on the long-term prescribed use of a benzodiazipine. He also cold-turkeyed off Effexor. Some of you might remember my posts about a year ago. We had separated, but I let him return after he quit those drugs, b/c I was det...	looking_for_peace	6	543	Oct 10, 2011 by Mattie
	Change (Preview) A year ago, I never thought I'd be posting something on this forum. In fact, I didn't know that alanon existed. But that would have been just before meeting what I thought was the man of my dreams. At first it was funny. He would get drunk and do silly things and we'd tear it up on the dance floor. We fel...	SMT	7	606	Oct 10, 2011 by SMT
	is it a choice once in AA (Preview) I am really confused, I have been seeing acousellor ad she seems really good at getting me to come out of denial and face reality. She says she has worked with a cliet who was in AA so has some knowledge of alcoholism. My partner has been in aa for over two years. slipping and sliding. He was sober 6 months b...	Tracy	11	901	Oct 10, 2011 by John
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.