Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

blupaisan · blupaisan

i thought i caught my bf using. he denies it. i thought i had evidence. he explains it away. i want soo much to trust him. doesnt trusting him do good things for him? how do i know when it might be enabling him to cheat? i dont know how to handle this. i expect the same thing to happen again, and want to be...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Hi Everyone, The thought of taking a break from this board has been popping into my mind the past few months. It's nothing personal! I've always felt love and acceptance here by all. There's something going on inside of me that I want to clarify. To take a break is a gut feeling. I can't explain it oth...

atheos · atheos

Since starting my new job and moving to a dayshift, I haven't been able to go to my morning homegroup any more, and haven't gotten around to finding new meetings (I tend to stress out about meeting new people, so I've been putting it off). Amazing how much things can start to slip without me even realizin...

jmanning · jmanning

I haven't posted in about 2 weeks. But its been 1 month since by AH went to jail. We have heard that hopefully he will be getting sent to to rehab this week, that means he will be home in 9 months. We have had many heart to heart talks and he is looking forward to rehab. He wants to stay sober. He also has been get...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I have had a great day, that I hope to bring with me for the weekend...My qualifier is at work today from 9-5. My older son has a homecoming dance to go to tonight. Last night my son and I had some time together. I was going to go to a meeting but I realized he and I hadn't connected in a while so we did. We mad...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

Greetings folks - I'm on day 3 of my "detachment with love" experiment and I must admit I'm wavering a bit. My AH (who began his binge on Saturday after 42 days of sobriety) woke up this morning very ill. He managed to get up to walk the dog, told me he made it to a 12:30 AA meeting but then I didn'...

Jozie · Jozie

Powerlessness.... You Know ... I have been Goin over the Roller Coaster for the Past 3 weeks, and I Can Honestly Say, It has not slowed down much... However, Coming here... Feeling Accepted, Loved, Cared for Emotionally, Prayed for Daily... I know HP Works Over time for Me! With all the Family "I...

silentcygnet · silentcygnet

Things have been going so much better these past few days. I have found support and wisdom through this board (thank you all!) and my ftf meetings and have begun to feel stronger in my belief that I need to focus on me and my children's future and lives as we move forward with or without my AH. I was feeling m...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I married someone I thought would be my best friend, someone I could sit out on the front porch and talk to. We hadn't been married 3 full days and he yelled at me about the clothes in the closet. The first 6 weeks we were married, were horrible. I finally confronted him, told him that he needed to get help. E...

New member · Miss Maddie

Hi all! I'm new here.....just found this forum recently & decided to join. I'm 42 yo and my husband is what I call a "functioning alcoholic" - he doesn't miss work or anything like that. But he drinks daily, often to the point of passing out. Most times when he's drunk, he VERY angry &a...

Telling family members.... · Miss Maddie

So I have a question I've been wondering about for some time now........Has anyone "told" other family members about their Alcoholic spouse's problem? I'm asking cuz my AH has a grown daughter who has her own house. She freaked out over the summer over a rash my AH has on his back he refuses...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I was carrying so much anger when I walked into the rooms of alanon that I could not feel any other emotion. I felt completely comfortable with indifference, apathy, and disdain. As a newcomer I absolutely hated what my AH did to me and the life I was having as a result of his choices. Today I am remind...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

For a long time before I got involved with Alanon I was resentful and bitter that I was the sole breadwinner for my AH and myself. "What a burden I carry" I would often think, why is my life so hard. I make a very good living which supports us nicely, he has never been able to hold down steady wor...

glad · glad

I think of my qualifier as my most recent long term BF// this post is OLD history stuff...and was "spurred" by facebook pictures of my new grandson posted by my emotionally challenged ex husband's new wife... I'll admit I've messed up much in my life but my daughters are amazing adults. I f...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I feel broken, disillusioned. The jeep the murderers left up here had a body in it, the killers father. They also killed a man for being black in Eureka Ca.Who knows who else they killed. They killed Cody becuz his name sounded Jewish. Can you imagine what they would have done, me being a JW? Do not feel sa...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

Just checking in to report on the second day of my detachment experiment. My husband is still drinking, matter of face passed out in his easy chair as I type. I'm worried about his health. Not sure what can physically happen to him if this keeps up. Not sure what my responsibilty to call a doctor or so...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My face to face meeting tonight was on asking for help. It made me realize how much I am missing out on in this program in that I don't ask others for help. In thinking about it, I realized that this is undoubtedly a result of my childhood and growing up with alcoholic parents. My parents drinking was a secr...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Hi all; the computer troubles persist at home, and my new temp job blocks most non-work related websites. But I seem to have reasonably good internet access tonight; definitely my HP at work, since I have been in serious need of MIP! I'm making some progress, mostly because I'm back at work. It make...

silentcygnet · silentcygnet

Hello all, I have been lurking on MIP for a few weeks now and have been so inspired by the words of wisdom and hope. It has taken me a while to get up the nerve to post my story and ask for some help, but this special kind of pain is a great motivator! My AH had abstained from alcohol for the past 15 years. I say ab...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon Meeting tomorrow morning as I need to accompany a friend to hospital for surgery. Hoping someone can step up and chair for me. Thanks. Shimo aka Jeri

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

The other night I probably should have reported my AH as a drunk driver. How do I go about doing that? Do I just call 911 and give them the approximate location and the car plate number and description or do I call the non-emergency number of the local authorities? I was wondering because we live in an a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It is so weird that no one commented on my post the last time. I guess it is OK since all I did was mention a couple thoughts that weren't even original. I won't take it personally. I am just glad you viewed it. So much on my mind but as usual not much time. I will just say that although I am waking up early & h...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

As I said before, I am feeling low. I am thinking it may be because of hormones but also, maybe I am not feeling very 'safe'. I do not trust anyone in my life to allow anyone close enough to allow me to feel What I want right now, is someone to hold me tight while I cry and rock and bawl my eyes out and scream out t...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

This always happens. I start to feel good and then my moods, energies and mind all backfire on me. Its like my body sould won't allow me to feel good about things for too long. I am sitting here thinking I am bipolar!!!! I just want to crawl under the blankets and disregard the world and everyone in it. Y...

catiegirl · catiegirl

I am writing with so much heartbreak and emotion. The man who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with has changed so much that I had to leave. He drinks constantly. In the morning, before work, on his breaks, after work. He has been in two car accidents. One where he got a dui and almost killed himsel...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I was sick yesterday, had a stomach thing going on, and so I called out of work. I am wondering why I always feel so guilty when I call out (Haven't called out since February) and my sponsor helped me with that yesterday. She said to pray, stop and meditate...stop the chaos from running around in my head...

lookingup · lookingup

im really am going through the greiveing process i know,this is like a nightmare,lol never would have thought it cause he is not even close to the one i would even marry,but here i am just trying to muddle through allthe pains the best way i can with out faling off the edge ,and just by thinking i might have...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

today i was driving along .. this pain is really something .. be it self inflicted or the fact i truly miss my addict and genuinely love this man .. ok mixed in with the fact i want to fix save him and at this point in time near pity him .. but was beginning to feel such intense pain i wondered if it were anything...

glad · glad

It makes no real "sense" to want him back. He is not good for me and there would only be pain and confusion. No matter the reasons - No matter what I think I want. It's like wanting something that is bad for me. It makes no real sense for him to drink, long term there is only pain and confusion, no m...

luvsapd · luvsapd

I am new to alanon and this board. I am also one-week separated. My dilemma is that my newly exed A and I are attended a conference in a couple of weeks. Actually, it's for my work, he happens to be a speaker. I've made arrangements to not have to sit with him on the flight and advised him that he needs to make h...

lookingup · lookingup

well ive really enjoyed reading al the posts on separating from the a,i separated 6 mths ago broke it off completely,changed my ph.# and even blocked him off my internet, found me a real good b/f soi thought ive been dumped cant count how many times ,lol then i get a disturbing phone call from my freind sa...

lookingup · lookingup

yes it hurts and thats just part of it and i may be being played i dunno,and i could be just setting myself up for another big disappointment like always im good at that setting my self up he may and he may not ever call me agin,i know how they r when they find them a new cody to use ,they push the old away in a min....

youfoundme · youfoundme

Tonight my qualifier drank, not a lot but enough to give him that little attitude and so I kind of got one too for a bit. I started to want to get into it with him, but I remembered some of my tools and I decided to do some laundry and go up stairs with the lap top to work on some photography stuff. I prayed for s...

Jennifer · Jennifer

The last two months have been truly awful. Weekly if not biweekly occurences of major medical treatments or surgeries for myself or immediate family members, the weaning process from my treatment, losing Sully, the death of a close friend, business is struggling, school is in full swing. I was p...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

Hey group - quick request. Does anyone have the book "12 Steps and 12 Traditions on Al Anon" and access to a scanner or fax machine? I'm chairing a step meeting this evening and the format of the meeting is that we read from that book on the step we're studying (tonight is step 9) and I've trie...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I'm curious to hear how others feel about installing a car ingnition lock on a vehicle to prevent someone from driving while drunk. I know they are sometimes required if someone gets a DWI, but I don't know if it can be done voluntarily? My wife is demonstrating that she is not in control and nearly drove...

Pushka · Pushka

It's been a LONG week and it's only Wednesday .. lol. I've really been struggling this week with a lot of emotional garbage that needs to be processed just to get to the other side. My insecurities are rearing up in a bad way. I'm sure some of it is a HHALT. Hormonal, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired total...

kris10 · kris10

I love you like.. Did you hear me? I love you like... You won't come near me? I love you like it's a question. Like... If I say it enough will you give me affection?? A sign, a glimmer of hope? I love you like the memory. The memory of what it was like, what it should be. But see, that's just me. Imagining... All...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I think I can feel some changes in me. This is a good thing. I am usually so controlling it isn't funny. In the past, I have found out that my husband finished work early and didn't tell me, Igot home and he was already there.... I was angry, I was upset that I didn't know what was happening, Why would yo...

ToBeHappy · ToBeHappy

In short, my husband has been in and out of rehab for the past four years and has not worked. I have supported him 100% from his sobriety attempts to handling all of the financial responsibility. We had a baby at the beginning of the year and he went into Full blown drinking every day all day mode then picke...

Camille Le Montre · Camille Le Montre

My partner (my 6-year-old son's father) is an alcoholic with a history of near death experiences. He can go from 1-3 years sober. But when he falls off the wagon, it is always under very traumatic circumstances. After a year and a half of sobriety, I finally allowed him to move back in with us. I then tru...

Patk · Patk

Hi Everyone, I teach part-time at a high school. Last spring when I was about to hop on my bike and ride home after classes a coworker confronted me at the bike rack and began to accuse me of ignoring him, treating him badly, not respecting him. He was shaking and had that "look" in his eyes that...

John · John

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PauliePaulie · PauliePaulie

Hi again =0) So, he's in rehab, been there 6 days, and has been GREAT as of yesterday afternoon. I'm wondering what kind of 'typical' stuff to expect after he gets home in a month or so? Any advice, heads ups, etc would be greatly appreciated...again. Thank you all for being here for all of us. HUGS!!

John · John

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youfoundme · youfoundme

Some of you may remember I have a business in photography. I started this business on my own, met a person I connected with, because our son's were friends, saw she did photography, had a good eye and so I asked if she wanted to do it with me. It was all very innocent. I thought we would work great togethe...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

I asked my Ah to move out of the house tonight. Last week I ran into him with two women in his car. They were drinking, smoking, and having a good time. I, for months, suspected he was having affairs based on his behavior at home. My gut feeling told me we were alone in our relationship. Yet, I left it alone an...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

I am grateful. For both of my sons. One nearing his 1st anniversary of clean and sober. One in meetings. I'm thankful for my husband. Our little dog. A home I have the honor of cleaning each day, reminds me how grateful I am. The dinner we through last night with both sons, dauther in law, grandchil...

elizabethcontreras · elizabethcontreras

So my boyfriend is finally back from a 40 day stay in rehab. I am proud of him and things are slowly settling. We both feel a little blah and are a bit overwhelmed. I am trying to keep my sense of peace that I gained while he was away and not worry about him or fuss over him. I am trying to give him his space and sto...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, Its been quite some time since I have read or posted here, and its bittersweet to see some old faces as well as some new ones. I have finally ended my 9 1/2yr relationship with my abf. Things went from bad to worse, and very quickly after he went to work beyond commuting distance last summer. ...

PauliePaulie · PauliePaulie

Hi, My SO is in rehab, day 4 of detox, and has just called to inform me that I am now his Higher Power. Talk about stress!! Can a person actually be a successful HP?? Doesn't that make ME in control of his sobriety?? How can I be his HP??? What I am hoping for is that he gets enough time, education, and guidance...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am not sure I shared but one night a week or so ago I heard the door handle being tried. My dogs went nuts in a way that I was sure there was someone out there. Since I am up here alone, thinking about what would you do if...comes up a lot in my mind. I have a 9 mil next to my bed, a flashlight and sell and always sl...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Briefly, quickly, I will update you on my condition. I am doing very well. I still have a lot of gratitude. I also want to give everyone a quote to pass around to all your friends: Friends: A friend knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. Another quote: Be...

alexmaui · alexmaui

Lately, i've been thinking that my AH is mentally ill. I'm been doing some research and it looks like he may be both. He barely seems functional- living in squalor in what was once our home. He took Ambien and Vodka and wound up in a hospital with hallucinations...not so bad that he didn't forget my work n...

Frustrated3982 · Frustrated3982

Hello, I am new to this forum and new to Al-Anon in general. However, I am not new to being with an alcoholic. My gf of three years has been sober for a little over a year, up until yesterday when she relapsed. We were on vacation and staying at a friends condo when on the last day of our stay, my gf found an open...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I am so frustrated and disappointed in my AH and am having a hard time shifting my focus. He let me down by once again with-holding information and basically lying to me about finances. It is not a big thing, that will break us, but it is the principle in that I told him I either wanted us to be partners in o...

Katy · Katy

Really listening, and hearing, wow, our son has a girlfriend, whoooooooowhoooooooooooo, she's lovely, works as a vet, drives a car, is sensible and decent and kind, and just what he needed, to show him he is was worth it, I have stopped nagging (almost) and I have just had the best conversation with hi...

Tracy · Tracy

I am a person Why do I have so much trouble looking after me, focusing on me. My sickness is very baffling too it makes it hard for me to mind my own business and to focus on what I have to do. It takes me off in every direction interfering in peoples lives. Al anon is helping me to gain self awareness. I hav...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

I am so very grateful for Al Anon. If it wasn't for Al Anon I would be freaking out right now. My husband went back to detox on August 30 and back to rehab for the third time in less than a year on September 2. He came home on September 27. We went away for a lovely 4 day weekend from September 30 to October 3....

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I think I have too much on my plate. AH and I are planning on buying a new home as our home will need about $30K of work soon because of it's age and because of HOA guidelines about exterior paint colors, etc. We figured we'd be better off just putting the money into a newer neighborhood and newer home. I'v...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	trusting... (Preview) i thought i caught my bf using. he denies it. i thought i had evidence. he explains it away. i want soo much to trust him. doesnt trusting him do good things for him? how do i know when it might be enabling him to cheat? i dont know how to handle this. i expect the same thing to happen again, and want to be...	blupaisan	5	594	Oct 17, 2011 by Pushka
	Taking a Break (Preview) Hi Everyone, The thought of taking a break from this board has been popping into my mind the past few months. It's nothing personal! I've always felt love and acceptance here by all. There's something going on inside of me that I want to clarify. To take a break is a gut feeling. I can't explain it oth...	GailMichelle	15	855	Oct 17, 2011 by GailMichelle
	The little things that make life manageable (Preview) Since starting my new job and moving to a dayshift, I haven't been able to go to my morning homegroup any more, and haven't gotten around to finding new meetings (I tend to stress out about meeting new people, so I've been putting it off). Amazing how much things can start to slip without me even realizin...	atheos	3	591	Oct 17, 2011 by youfoundme
	Its been a month today (Preview) I haven't posted in about 2 weeks. But its been 1 month since by AH went to jail. We have heard that hopefully he will be getting sent to to rehab this week, that means he will be home in 9 months. We have had many heart to heart talks and he is looking forward to rehab. He wants to stay sober. He also has been get...	jmanning	5	583	Oct 17, 2011 by tommyecat
	Living in reality (Preview) I have had a great day, that I hope to bring with me for the weekend...My qualifier is at work today from 9-5. My older son has a homecoming dance to go to tonight. Last night my son and I had some time together. I was going to go to a meeting but I realized he and I hadn't connected in a while so we did. We mad...	youfoundme	9	561	Oct 17, 2011 by Wendie
	Day 3 of Detachment Recovery Detachment Gratitude Support (Preview) Greetings folks - I'm on day 3 of my "detachment with love" experiment and I must admit I'm wavering a bit. My AH (who began his binge on Saturday after 42 days of sobriety) woke up this morning very ill. He managed to get up to walk the dog, told me he made it to a 12:30 AA meeting but then I didn'...	Mlkiss75	14	9879	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Powerlessness = Acceptance.... (Preview) Powerlessness.... You Know ... I have been Goin over the Roller Coaster for the Past 3 weeks, and I Can Honestly Say, It has not slowed down much... However, Coming here... Feeling Accepted, Loved, Cared for Emotionally, Prayed for Daily... I know HP Works Over time for Me! With all the Family "I...	Jozie	5	811	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Why is it so hard for my heart to believe what my mind knows is true? (Preview) Things have been going so much better these past few days. I have found support and wisdom through this board (thank you all!) and my ftf meetings and have begun to feel stronger in my belief that I need to focus on me and my children's future and lives as we move forward with or without my AH. I was feeling m...	silentcygnet	6	787	Oct 16, 2011 by Pushka
	Conditional (Preview) I married someone I thought would be my best friend, someone I could sit out on the front porch and talk to. We hadn't been married 3 full days and he yelled at me about the clothes in the closet. The first 6 weeks we were married, were horrible. I finally confronted him, told him that he needed to get help. E...	Jackie11	10	705	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	New member (Preview) Hi all! I'm new here.....just found this forum recently & decided to join. I'm 42 yo and my husband is what I call a "functioning alcoholic" - he doesn't miss work or anything like that. But he drinks daily, often to the point of passing out. Most times when he's drunk, he VERY angry &a...	Miss Maddie	14	653	Oct 16, 2011 by Pushka
	Telling family members.... (Preview) So I have a question I've been wondering about for some time now........Has anyone "told" other family members about their Alcoholic spouse's problem? I'm asking cuz my AH has a grown daughter who has her own house. She freaked out over the summer over a rash my AH has on his back he refuses...	Miss Maddie	8	457	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	A N G E R (Preview) I was carrying so much anger when I walked into the rooms of alanon that I could not feel any other emotion. I felt completely comfortable with indifference, apathy, and disdain. As a newcomer I absolutely hated what my AH did to me and the life I was having as a result of his choices. Today I am remind...	tommyecat	5	599	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Gratitude For Self Sufficiency (Preview) For a long time before I got involved with Alanon I was resentful and bitter that I was the sole breadwinner for my AH and myself. "What a burden I carry" I would often think, why is my life so hard. I make a very good living which supports us nicely, he has never been able to hold down steady wor...	surfgirl123	7	836	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	See the train coming down the track! (Preview) I think of my qualifier as my most recent long term BF// this post is OLD history stuff...and was "spurred" by facebook pictures of my new grandson posted by my emotionally challenged ex husband's new wife... I'll admit I've messed up much in my life but my daughters are amazing adults. I f...	glad	5	657	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	came here,didn't know what else to do. (Preview) I feel broken, disillusioned. The jeep the murderers left up here had a body in it, the killers father. They also killed a man for being black in Eureka Ca.Who knows who else they killed. They killed Cody becuz his name sounded Jewish. Can you imagine what they would have done, me being a JW? Do not feel sa...	Debilyn	16	713	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Day 2 of Detachment Recovery Detachment Fellowship Gratitude (Preview) Just checking in to report on the second day of my detachment experiment. My husband is still drinking, matter of face passed out in his easy chair as I type. I'm worried about his health. Not sure what can physically happen to him if this keeps up. Not sure what my responsibilty to call a doctor or so...	Mlkiss75	10	9290	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Asking for help (Preview) My face to face meeting tonight was on asking for help. It made me realize how much I am missing out on in this program in that I don't ask others for help. In thinking about it, I realized that this is undoubtedly a result of my childhood and growing up with alcoholic parents. My parents drinking was a secr...	usedtobeanyer	4	900	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Progress...and backtracking (Preview) Hi all; the computer troubles persist at home, and my new temp job blocks most non-work related websites. But I seem to have reasonably good internet access tonight; definitely my HP at work, since I have been in serious need of MIP! I'm making some progress, mostly because I'm back at work. It make...	stephaniej	3	446	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	New to MIP... (Preview) Hello all, I have been lurking on MIP for a few weeks now and have been so inspired by the words of wisdom and hope. It has taken me a while to get up the nerve to post my story and ask for some help, but this special kind of pain is a great motivator! My AH had abstained from alcohol for the past 15 years. I say ab...	silentcygnet	7	755	Oct 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	MONDAY AL-ANON MTG Oct 17 (Preview) I am unable to honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon Meeting tomorrow morning as I need to accompany a friend to hospital for surgery. Hoping someone can step up and chair for me. Thanks. Shimo aka Jeri	shimo	0	260	Oct 16, 2011 by shimo
	Have you ever called the authorities? (Preview) The other night I probably should have reported my AH as a drunk driver. How do I go about doing that? Do I just call 911 and give them the approximate location and the car plate number and description or do I call the non-emergency number of the local authorities? I was wondering because we live in an a...	ilovedogs	16	946	Oct 16, 2011 by rehprof
	that is so weird... (Preview) It is so weird that no one commented on my post the last time. I guess it is OK since all I did was mention a couple thoughts that weren't even original. I won't take it personally. I am just glad you viewed it. So much on my mind but as usual not much time. I will just say that although I am waking up early & h...	Hoot Nanny	4	520	Oct 15, 2011 by nmike
	safety and trust (Preview) As I said before, I am feeling low. I am thinking it may be because of hormones but also, maybe I am not feeling very 'safe'. I do not trust anyone in my life to allow anyone close enough to allow me to feel What I want right now, is someone to hold me tight while I cry and rock and bawl my eyes out and scream out t...	Lindaoakford	14	494	Oct 15, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	feeling low (Preview) This always happens. I start to feel good and then my moods, energies and mind all backfire on me. Its like my body sould won't allow me to feel good about things for too long. I am sitting here thinking I am bipolar!!!! I just want to crawl under the blankets and disregard the world and everyone in it. Y...	Lindaoakford	9	535	Oct 15, 2011 by rosielee
	Can anyone help me understand? (Preview) I am writing with so much heartbreak and emotion. The man who I thought I would spend the rest of my life with has changed so much that I had to leave. He drinks constantly. In the morning, before work, on his breaks, after work. He has been in two car accidents. One where he got a dui and almost killed himsel...	catiegirl	10	603	Oct 14, 2011 by catiegirl
	Guilt (Preview) I was sick yesterday, had a stomach thing going on, and so I called out of work. I am wondering why I always feel so guilty when I call out (Haven't called out since February) and my sponsor helped me with that yesterday. She said to pray, stop and meditate...stop the chaos from running around in my head...	youfoundme	10	636	Oct 14, 2011 by youfoundme
	faceing the truth is hard to do (Preview) im really am going through the greiveing process i know,this is like a nightmare,lol never would have thought it cause he is not even close to the one i would even marry,but here i am just trying to muddle through allthe pains the best way i can with out faling off the edge ,and just by thinking i might have...	lookingup	6	673	Oct 14, 2011 by rrib
	if the pain i'm in is anything like the pain of the addict, there's a small amount of understanding in me .. (Preview) today i was driving along .. this pain is really something .. be it self inflicted or the fact i truly miss my addict and genuinely love this man .. ok mixed in with the fact i want to fix save him and at this point in time near pity him .. but was beginning to feel such intense pain i wondered if it were anything...	MeTwo2	9	629	Oct 14, 2011 by MeTwo2
	Just for this mili second! (Preview) It makes no real "sense" to want him back. He is not good for me and there would only be pain and confusion. No matter the reasons - No matter what I think I want. It's like wanting something that is bad for me. It makes no real sense for him to drink, long term there is only pain and confusion, no m...	glad	5	414	Oct 13, 2011 by Jerry F
	Dilemma (Preview) I am new to alanon and this board. I am also one-week separated. My dilemma is that my newly exed A and I are attended a conference in a couple of weeks. Actually, it's for my work, he happens to be a speaker. I've made arrangements to not have to sit with him on the flight and advised him that he needs to make h...	luvsapd	16	705	Oct 13, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	for crying out loud (Preview) well ive really enjoyed reading al the posts on separating from the a,i separated 6 mths ago broke it off completely,changed my ph.# and even blocked him off my internet, found me a real good b/f soi thought ive been dumped cant count how many times ,lol then i get a disturbing phone call from my freind sa...	lookingup	8	665	Oct 13, 2011 by lookingup
	thanx to all of the esh that just came flowing in (Preview) yes it hurts and thats just part of it and i may be being played i dunno,and i could be just setting myself up for another big disappointment like always im good at that setting my self up he may and he may not ever call me agin,i know how they r when they find them a new cody to use ,they push the old away in a min....	lookingup	1	332	Oct 13, 2011 by glad
	Leaving him to sleep on the couch...loving detachment...? (Preview) Tonight my qualifier drank, not a lot but enough to give him that little attitude and so I kind of got one too for a bit. I started to want to get into it with him, but I remembered some of my tools and I decided to do some laundry and go up stairs with the lap top to work on some photography stuff. I prayed for s...	youfoundme	13	664	Oct 13, 2011 by sookie
	The camel is broken (Preview) The last two months have been truly awful. Weekly if not biweekly occurences of major medical treatments or surgeries for myself or immediate family members, the weaning process from my treatment, losing Sully, the death of a close friend, business is struggling, school is in full swing. I was p...	Jennifer	11	879	Oct 13, 2011 by Jennifer
	12 Steps and 12 Traditions in Al Anon - Step 9 Steps Books (Preview) Hey group - quick request. Does anyone have the book "12 Steps and 12 Traditions on Al Anon" and access to a scanner or fax machine? I'm chairing a step meeting this evening and the format of the meeting is that we read from that book on the step we're studying (tonight is step 9) and I've trie...	Mlkiss75	2	5497	Oct 13, 2011 by Mlkiss75
	Thoughts on car ignition locks? (Preview) I'm curious to hear how others feel about installing a car ingnition lock on a vehicle to prevent someone from driving while drunk. I know they are sometimes required if someone gets a DWI, but I don't know if it can be done voluntarily? My wife is demonstrating that she is not in control and nearly drove...	usedtobeanyer	10	627	Oct 13, 2011 by mr5191
	Emotional risks .. (Preview) It's been a LONG week and it's only Wednesday .. lol. I've really been struggling this week with a lot of emotional garbage that needs to be processed just to get to the other side. My insecurities are rearing up in a bad way. I'm sure some of it is a HHALT. Hormonal, Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired total...	Pushka	4	524	Oct 13, 2011 by rosielee
	addiction poem (Preview) I love you like.. Did you hear me? I love you like... You won't come near me? I love you like it's a question. Like... If I say it enough will you give me affection?? A sign, a glimmer of hope? I love you like the memory. The memory of what it was like, what it should be. But see, that's just me. Imagining... All...	kris10	2	470	Oct 13, 2011 by youfoundme
	I can feel changes (Preview) Hi I think I can feel some changes in me. This is a good thing. I am usually so controlling it isn't funny. In the past, I have found out that my husband finished work early and didn't tell me, Igot home and he was already there.... I was angry, I was upset that I didn't know what was happening, Why would yo...	Lindaoakford	8	548	Oct 12, 2011 by Pushka
	After rehab how did you do it? (Preview) In short, my husband has been in and out of rehab for the past four years and has not worked. I have supported him 100% from his sobriety attempts to handling all of the financial responsibility. We had a baby at the beginning of the year and he went into Full blown drinking every day all day mode then picke...	ToBeHappy	10	973	Oct 12, 2011 by ToBeHappy
	Should I keep my son away from his father? (Preview) My partner (my 6-year-old son's father) is an alcoholic with a history of near death experiences. He can go from 1-3 years sober. But when he falls off the wagon, it is always under very traumatic circumstances. After a year and a half of sobriety, I finally allowed him to move back in with us. I then tru...	Camille Le Montre	14	792	Oct 12, 2011 by Pushka
	advice how to deal with a hostile coworker (Preview) Hi Everyone, I teach part-time at a high school. Last spring when I was about to hop on my bike and ride home after classes a coworker confronted me at the bike rack and began to accuse me of ignoring him, treating him badly, not respecting him. He was shaking and had that "look" in his eyes that...	Patk	10	757	Oct 12, 2011 by Patk
	Learning how to live... (Preview) [video=]	John	6	539	Oct 12, 2011 by GailMichelle
	What should I expect after he's out of rehab? (Preview) Hi again =0) So, he's in rehab, been there 6 days, and has been GREAT as of yesterday afternoon. I'm wondering what kind of 'typical' stuff to expect after he gets home in a month or so? Any advice, heads ups, etc would be greatly appreciated...again. Thank you all for being here for all of us. HUGS!!	PauliePaulie	8	1453	Oct 12, 2011 by pinkchip
	Setting ME Free!! (Preview) [video=]	John	2	397	Oct 12, 2011 by sarebaer
	Working on boundaries.... in all my affairs.... (Preview) Some of you may remember I have a business in photography. I started this business on my own, met a person I connected with, because our son's were friends, saw she did photography, had a good eye and so I asked if she wanted to do it with me. It was all very innocent. I thought we would work great togethe...	youfoundme	8	603	Oct 11, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Infidelity and betrayal (Preview) I asked my Ah to move out of the house tonight. Last week I ran into him with two women in his car. They were drinking, smoking, and having a good time. I, for months, suspected he was having affairs based on his behavior at home. My gut feeling told me we were alone in our relationship. Yet, I left it alone an...	hawaiilover	11	817	Oct 11, 2011 by likemyheart
	Just for today (Preview) I am grateful. For both of my sons. One nearing his 1st anniversary of clean and sober. One in meetings. I'm thankful for my husband. Our little dog. A home I have the honor of cleaning each day, reminds me how grateful I am. The dinner we through last night with both sons, dauther in law, grandchil...	Peggy7	8	565	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	He is finally back (Preview) So my boyfriend is finally back from a 40 day stay in rehab. I am proud of him and things are slowly settling. We both feel a little blah and are a bit overwhelmed. I am trying to keep my sense of peace that I gained while he was away and not worry about him or fuss over him. I am trying to give him his space and sto...	elizabethcontreras	6	598	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Its been way too long, but I'm right where I need to be (Preview) Hello all, Its been quite some time since I have read or posted here, and its bittersweet to see some old faces as well as some new ones. I have finally ended my 9 1/2yr relationship with my abf. Things went from bad to worse, and very quickly after he went to work beyond commuting distance last summer. ...	liljeannie	8	573	Oct 11, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	A spouse as your Higher Power?? (Preview) Hi, My SO is in rehab, day 4 of detox, and has just called to inform me that I am now his Higher Power. Talk about stress!! Can a person actually be a successful HP?? Doesn't that make ME in control of his sobriety?? How can I be his HP??? What I am hoping for is that he gets enough time, education, and guidance...	PauliePaulie	11	693	Oct 11, 2011 by PauliePaulie
	Huge lesson in reality!! (Preview) I am not sure I shared but one night a week or so ago I heard the door handle being tried. My dogs went nuts in a way that I was sure there was someone out there. Since I am up here alone, thinking about what would you do if...comes up a lot in my mind. I have a 9 mil next to my bed, a flashlight and sell and always sl...	Debilyn	12	686	Oct 11, 2011 by Debilyn
	minutes & counting... (Preview) Briefly, quickly, I will update you on my condition. I am doing very well. I still have a lot of gratitude. I also want to give everyone a quote to pass around to all your friends: Friends: A friend knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words. Another quote: Be...	Hoot Nanny	0	328	Oct 11, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Alcoholism...or Mental Illness? (Preview) Lately, i've been thinking that my AH is mentally ill. I'm been doing some research and it looks like he may be both. He barely seems functional- living in squalor in what was once our home. He took Ambien and Vodka and wound up in a hospital with hallucinations...not so bad that he didn't forget my work n...	alexmaui	7	1530	Oct 11, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Not sure what to do... (Preview) Hello, I am new to this forum and new to Al-Anon in general. However, I am not new to being with an alcoholic. My gf of three years has been sober for a little over a year, up until yesterday when she relapsed. We were on vacation and staying at a friends condo when on the last day of our stay, my gf found an open...	Frustrated3982	5	475	Oct 11, 2011 by Jerry F
	disappointment and depression (Preview) I am so frustrated and disappointed in my AH and am having a hard time shifting my focus. He let me down by once again with-holding information and basically lying to me about finances. It is not a big thing, that will break us, but it is the principle in that I told him I either wanted us to be partners in o...	oldgraduate	8	785	Oct 11, 2011 by oldgraduate
	Listening! (Preview) Really listening, and hearing, wow, our son has a girlfriend, whoooooooowhoooooooooooo, she's lovely, works as a vet, drives a car, is sensible and decent and kind, and just what he needed, to show him he is was worth it, I have stopped nagging (almost) and I have just had the best conversation with hi...	Katy	4	353	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	ME (Preview) I am a person Why do I have so much trouble looking after me, focusing on me. My sickness is very baffling too it makes it hard for me to mind my own business and to focus on what I have to do. It takes me off in every direction interfering in peoples lives. Al anon is helping me to gain self awareness. I hav...	Tracy	5	481	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Grateful and not freaking out (Preview) I am so very grateful for Al Anon. If it wasn't for Al Anon I would be freaking out right now. My husband went back to detox on August 30 and back to rehab for the third time in less than a year on September 2. He came home on September 27. We went away for a lovely 4 day weekend from September 30 to October 3....	Mlkiss75	14	624	Oct 11, 2011 by Mlkiss75
	Haven't been on in a while, feeling overwhelmed (Preview) I think I have too much on my plate. AH and I are planning on buying a new home as our home will need about $30K of work soon because of it's age and because of HOA guidelines about exterior paint colors, etc. We figured we'd be better off just putting the money into a newer neighborhood and newer home. I'v...	ilovedogs	6	517	Oct 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.